Star Wars Humor Part II

[00:00:00] This podcast is a production of Unfiltered Studios. If you would like to know more about joining Unfiltered Studios, please visit our website at unfpod.com for more information. I feel like I know you. If you'll allow me one geek out moment, sir, because we are celebrating the 40th anniversary of Return of the Jedi this year. And I'd imagine on every different Star Wars film, you learn something new and fresh about Luke Skywalker.

[00:00:23] But what is something you remember discovering about him as an actor, a revelation you made that happened exclusively during your time on Return of the Jedi? Oh, gosh. Well, it's, you know, I sort of, it's interesting because Luke had a beginning and an end. There was no middle, because the original trilogy was the beginning and the sequels were the end, but there's this 30-year gap where, you know, you don't know what he did.

[00:00:53] But it was an arc, you know, it was going from a, you know, inexperienced farm boy to a trainee to someone who achieved what he wanted to achieve. So with Jedi, he was much more in control. I actually thought there was a possibility he'd go to the dark side. He got that all black outfit. He got the one black hand. I said, you know, give him a helmet. He's, he's dad Vader.

[00:01:23] But yeah, that brings me to the other one that always had a lawsuit because there weren't enough men on a mission movies. And that was the Expendables. I just love how it's like, why did that become a fiasco? Why did someone have to accuse the other person versus that other person? It's like, man, producers are just dishonest. But yeah, he does that like back to back with like Anchorman too. And I'm just like, so now he's being the wacky cameo guy.

[00:01:51] And it's like, he's totally spoofing his Han Solo character, just saving everyone except it's in a helicopter. Yeah, exactly. I love that part where he's in the car with Jason Statham and Jason Statham obviously with his accent. He's like, I don't know what the hell you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's definitely an interesting mashup. It's like, he both doesn't care and he's having fun. It was like perfect.

[00:02:21] It's the perfect combo. He has a lot of great moments on the Blu-ray special features. It's just like, man, yeah. I've only seen the first two Expendables. I didn't see the third one yet. Third one's fun if you just want to see Wesley Snipes and Antonio Banderas. Just get a lot of fun jokes in at both their personal lives and what they're better known for. It improved on rewatch.

[00:02:51] And the finale is pretty solid. Oh, absolutely. The finale is pretty good. And seeing Dolph just getting into a tank and just a few other amusing lines. Like, probably the last great thing I've seen Mel Gibson in. Yeah, actually, Mel Gibson was actually pretty good in that. You know, you could really, you know.

[00:03:16] He was a front villain in Eddie Kills. He was fun in that movie. Oh, okay. Welcome all. Once again, may the fourth be with you. So, again, this has been the running. And I wanted to just kind of give a final pleasant send-off to Star Wars. You're going to have a hysterical Star Wars vs. Star Trek special later in this month. But I was like, we did so many great chats. We've got to repackage them.

[00:03:43] We've got to bring you some of the great ones as well as the standalone ones. And so I thought, hey, let's just have an intro to the Star Wars humor. And so we were just talking about other roles that the actors were in. But ultimately, it was also just funny little tropes. Like, what happened to that one guy who got knocked out by that one character? What happened to this part of the Death Star?

[00:04:07] What happened to this planet or this other little issue that's with George Lucas and companies writing and creation that didn't make it on screen, but is known in the canon and the folklore with the fan base. So we had a blast. We just couldn't help ourselves. We had to show not only our fandom, but why Star Wars has only made us just get better as comedic fans.

[00:04:39] We're actors, let alone podcasters. We just love just joking about little tropes, little cliches, but it's all in love. So you love Star Wars came to the right place. We're going to make everybody happy with just nonstop humor. So enjoy an hour of this discussion, my dudes.

[00:05:44] You'll love that. I was shopping a year ago and someone who clearly had never seen a Star Wars movie in her life was like, why are you getting that baby toy? It's ugly. That motherfucker is ugly, though. Oh, okay. But I'm just like, I'm just getting a toy. I didn't question her. I'm not here to cause trouble with it. I just tried to, I was pretty much trying to not guffaw on the spot. Because I just never really care. It's that baby. She ugly.

[00:06:14] Your baby's ugly, lady. No. No. I've seen what your ovaries can produce. Get the fucking old ladies. I thought you could join us, Bruno. Just so you know, Master Yoda is also here. Oh, how good to see you, Master Yoda. Oh, that's great. The rest I was. How are you doing? Absolutely. Wait a minute. Wait, hold on.

[00:06:43] They couldn't get the T-47s out because it was too cold. So they had to use the snow speeders. And the snow speeders didn't have the firepower like the T-47s did. Oh, God. I need a life. I got to get out more often. So what they did was they actually used the snow speeders. They thought the snow speeders lasers could bring those down. I think. Yeah, I think that's like the big like, you know. It's a mild retcon. Same thing when you play the Rogue Squadron games and you're targeting. It's a different one. Yeah.

[00:07:11] And you're targeting the Super Star Destroyers like shield generator like it's gravy and mashed potatoes. You're like, I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. And it's like, okay. But I thought it was impossible to get to. Kind of. Yeah. Sort of. I don't know. I like underrated shit. Can I sneak the Ewok movies in there? Yeah, fuck it. I know you love your teddy bears. I just love the Real Lives narration.

[00:07:38] Throw him the helmet and has Wolf and Brimley go, I got diabetes. And I'm with you. Yeah, I can't wait to hear him say that. And this is before our target of the thing. This is after the thing. Yeah, if he's charging out on one of those like horses from the modern movies carrying the shotgun. From the hard time. Teamstone. Oh, even better. I'm literally sharing a weird photo with the entire group. I'm not sure what this means. It's all of us.

[00:08:08] Someone was asking about the guy who sells death sticks. That's what I dress up like. Oh. Awesome. I thought it was Vincent de Nofrio picking on the guy from Battlestar with an Asian gal and Princess Leogard. Sorry. That's your Rorschach test. You see what you want to say? I. I. Master Yoda, did Oreo pass the zany test? Like him, I do. Work on his noggin, I shall. Okay. I guess that's approval. Oh, great. I'm going to get skull fucked. Yes.

[00:08:39] Quiet down, Yoda. Quiet down. We're going to get canceled if you go there. Okay. Yes. Wait, I want to say, I'm the guy who lives in the jungle and wastes, like, next to Obi-Wan Kenobi. That's how, like, we do. I have a sad feeling about this. Like I mentioned, the Oral Nauts, if you haven't been there, their take on the Obi-Wan show where they make him, like, just go to Oral Nauts on YouTube. And they make him into kind of, like, the weird, like, uncle that always has to, like, borrow money.

[00:09:09] Oh, the homeless guy. And so that, like, he's basically babysitting her and he's, like, trying not to get her lost because he needs 50 bucks. Oh, my God. He needs to vape after work. And he's lost. He, like, drinks a lot. It's awesome. And must be that bitch in his brain, I guess. It's called Larry. Obi-Wan Larry. And it's, like, oh, yeah. I'll look it up. That's great. Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen go one more time. He throws Ewan McGregor around the first time around. He's, like, you know, I'm going to make you burn.

[00:09:38] And then, like, Ewan McGregor, the next time he meets, he's, like, oh, yeah? Watch this shit. You're going to pursue the Senate? I'm going to throw a whole fucking bunch of boulders at your ass. Now I want to see a Clint Eastwood-style preview for this recut. Oh, yeah. The wrong man. He only shoots once. And the ending, the ending was just a big, you know, like, was just, like, the big thing where, like, you know.

[00:10:00] And the pretty thing about it is when they kill all the Jedi, in some strange way, I think Lucas was, like, kind of, like, going back to the Godfather where. It's a total Godfather edit. Kills all the, kills the heads of the five, you know, four of the five families. And you're just sitting there and you're thinking, yeah, he probably called Coppola and was like, listen, I got this idea. That's a good Lucas. Don't sue me. I have this idea.

[00:10:28] And, you know, Coppola's probably going, yeah, okay, whatever, just do it. I was waiting for the director's cut where they had a tauntaun in the guy's bed. Yeah. Hey, turnabout is going to slow pan in, yeah. I'm going to climb into your bag now. Emperor Palpatine is not a man who takes decisions like this lightly. You shall hear from me later. The fan cut for Revenge of the Sith is right. Yeah.

[00:10:58] There's a fan edit? Yeah, there's a four hour edit. What does it take out? All the whining? No, it adds in stuff from the Clone Wars, the last season of Clone Wars. It adds in Clone Wars 2003. Yeah. Wow. It's stuff that's like, you know, kind of fills it out more. Nah, it's long as hell. I can't remember if I told anyone this. I think I told Joss this.

[00:11:23] I was hanging out with this one neighborhood pal, and what's funny is he was, he'd be cool one minute and then do see the next, and he had a habit of spoiling every other blockbuster movie for me. And I'm like, even if it's bad, yeah, just very inconsiderate. If he hated it, he thought, no, you shall not see it. So he's spoiled everything, Anchor 3, Chronicles of Riddick, every other blockbuster, and he's just like, oh, and they all die. I'm like, phew.

[00:11:49] And I got my revenge, so to speak, by spoiling the ending of Revenge of the Sith for him, because he was a mega Star Wars fan. Because I had gotten the Lego video game and the Revenge of the Sith video game from a friend. That video game is so cool. It came out before the movie came out. It was the ending of Revenge of the Sith, he spoiled, so you know that one guy? He becomes Darth Vader, and the other guy's the Emperor. No shit. No shit. All the Jedi. No shit, really? Christ, I didn't know that.

[00:12:19] Everybody dies. No, what? Why? I couldn't see the writing on the wall. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, asshole. I saw Phantom Menace, and I was the guy yelling in the theater, that's the Emperor! That's the Emperor! That's the Emperor! That's Sheev! Everyone knows Sheev. Sheev. Sheev. I love how that was the last thing George held on to. Yeah. You'll never notice that it's the same actor credited for two different characters in the credits.

[00:12:48] Oh, speaking of that, you remember National Ampun's Christmas Vacation? Yes. Okay, you remember Vacation, right? Yeah. The tent salesman in the first one is Clark's boss in Christmas Vacation. Oh! Oh! I didn't realize that. Holy shit! He just grew his hair out. That's canonically? Yeah. No, that's cool. Wasn't that a Murray brother? Frank Doyle? Yes. Oh my god. Brian Doyle.

[00:13:18] Cabin Boy. Fun little background thing for those watching it on repeat. And he started the movie with Kevin Bacon. Oh! And ended with Friday the 13th. Family Guy. It's not Family Guy. Cabin Boy, actually. Oh, I love that movie. My favorite part is him and Caddy Sheck going, So we'll see you know Roy Johnson blew a blood vessel while playing trumpet this year, so the Judge Schmael scholarship is up for grabs. Ah!

[00:13:48] I don't know, but for me, it was this, It's Your Honor, Your Honor, to be really and... Oh my god. That, you have to know a little bit about the golf terminology and stuff like that to really get the joke, but once I got it, it was like, Oh god. No, no, no, no, no, no. That is brilliant. You know, the jokes, this is something I meant to bring up earlier, and this is not my original take. Oh, what's your original take?

[00:14:18] Well, I'm hopping someone else's take. Oh, okay. The best thing about the sequel movies, or whatever you want to call them, you know, one through three, they're not that great, but they have the best memes. Like, unless you've seen them, you don't get... I mean, all the great memes come out of that. You know what I mean? There are so many amazing ones. And if you don't know the sand reference, that is so part of the sort of cultural lexicon of saying, like, I hate sand.

[00:14:47] If you haven't seen that, you're never going to get it. It's almost important. It's like, may the force be with you. Or any of those weird things. Like, one of my favorite ones is, you know, I saw a picture of, you know, you see Obi-Wan? He's like, I saw a hologram of Anakin killing yinglings. He just said, I remember that. Oh my God. My favorite is the shuttle, where he's like, look at the fucks, and look at all the fucks I get.

[00:15:16] I've seen that one. It's funny you guys brought up Caddyshack, because they were totally using the force in that movie. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Be the ball, Danny. Be the ball. Be the ball. But the ancient philosopher Bausho said, a flute without holes is not a flute. And yet, a donut without holes is a bainish. There's also a Simpsons,

[00:15:46] where Homer's walking out of Empire, and he goes, who believed that Darth was Luke's father? And everybody's in line going, oh, thanks a lot. Oh my God. That's in one of the episodes. I remember that. I think that's in one of the, where he's going to a convention. He's carrying Mark Hamill away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. use the part. The whole list of the books is so poor. Yeah. Oh my God, that's great. Two. Well, no, let me, let me, let me rephrase that. I got, this has been flipping, flopping, flip-flopping all day in my head.

[00:16:17] Like my dick it is. Okay, quiet down that way. Rise of Skywalker, Rise of Skywalker is a big, is a big, fun popcorn movie, but for me, it just didn't cut the mustard. I'm sorry. I mean, I loved seeing, you know, I loved seeing, I loved seeing Luke come back, you know, as a force ghost, but I wanted to see more. And I, I think the Colin, the Colin Trevo script, would have been better. Yeah. You know, yeah. Before you got on James,

[00:16:46] we had all agreed that, uh, that movie is a war crime and not a movie at all. Yeah. Everyone agrees with this. No need to see it. You know, you know, JJ Abrams was sitting there going, huh, how can we make this interesting? Uh, let's see. Anybody got, got a copy of Dark Empire I could borrow? Anybody? Yeah, I got one. Okay. Palpatine's not dead. He's a clone. Oh, that'll work. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Give it to Disney and they'll say yes. Okay. You know, you know, cause they want to get the taste.

[00:17:16] They want to get all the, uh, and I hate to use this term fanboys. Cause a lot of the fanboys were upset with Last Jedi, which I wasn't upset with. I liked it. I thought it was a good movie, but you know, there were those who were bitching about it. You know, there were those who were bitching about it and going, you know, Oh, I, you know, why, why, why do you have to kill off Luke? You know, why do you have to kill him off? And I'm like, dude, this is not, this is not about that.

[00:17:46] I saw one that was like, just the final says written and directed by Reddit. Yeah. It's the toxic hide my narrative mentality. The fanboys that ruins a franchise. Yes, exactly. Rick and Morty. Perfect example. Yeah. Fun, fun cartoon, but ruined by the fanboys who were just wanting to be as shitty as Rick. Yeah. I was going to say there, we did. There was another problem.

[00:18:16] Yeah. Well, yeah, he's played by an asshole. That's true. Yeah. The thing that bothered me the most about star Wars nine was everybody comes to rescue at the end. We just saw that in end game six months earlier. Oh, yeah. Remember everybody shows up. Yeah. Oh, here they all are to come to save the day. We had just seen that, you know, it's like, uh, are these writers all working together or something? You know? Yeah. Just wait until they do star Trek versus star Wars.

[00:18:45] Somebody has a video of like crowd reaction to the end of end game and the crowd reaction to the end of last Jedi. And the crowd reaction to end game is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. The crowd reaction to last Jedi is like, you just hear somebody go, okay, the one of your stuff and showed up. Now what? And I'm like, you know, Oh wait, there's wedge. Oh, two seconds. Shit. You know, um, you know, in all honesty, you know, I'll say this, you know, I mean,

[00:19:14] it's a big dumb popcorn movie, but it just didn't capture the spirit of star Wars for me in the end, you know? And I think the one thing that got me was, you know, at the end when she goes, I'm right, right. Skywalker. I'm like, and that one crowd reaction, I fucking hate star Wars. Why are you here? Cause we're doing, who knows, who knows? Maybe 20 years from now, they'll be all rehabilitated and they'll,

[00:19:44] the movies will look better. And then, you know, we'll look at them in the long run and be like, Oh yeah. Okay. You know, whatever. You know, him fucking window out the window in star Wars. Yeah. Have you heard that Sam Jackson's like, I didn't see a body. So I survived Jurassic park and say, no, star Wars. Here's the force to cushion my fall. I'm good. Yeah. One of my favorite fan theories is that he was Snoke. Obviously before the movies kind of finished, it was like, who's Snoke. And it's like, Oh,

[00:20:14] it's Mace Windu, you know, like force lightning famously sort of bleaches your skin. You've got a huge cut from, Oh my God. And he is so sort of disillusioned with the whole thing. I prefer the director. He has become this outside. Oh my God. I like the, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll do you one better. I'm going to connect star Wars and the shaft series. Oh my God. Talking about star Wars. Yeah. Shut your mouth.

[00:20:44] Shut your mouth. Mace Windu. So what happens? Mace Windu goes out the window. He falls. Nobody sees the body. He stands up, puts on a pair of sunglasses. Walks off with the shafts. I was slaying the background. There is good fan art of him coming back though. I like that art. Yeah. I've seen, you know, I was remembering all the names of like the characters and stuff. And, you know, my parents got me the toys and everything like that. And for me,

[00:21:13] I was like into it. And that's why I still love star Wars to this day. I'm not going to say I don't love star Wars. I can say, I don't like certain aspects of star Wars, you know, like the holiday special, the sequel trilogy, you know, you know, droids. Oh, but Harvey Corman, James. Harvey Corman and B. Arthur in a star Wars movie. B. Arthur making herself out to be like a bartender. You know,

[00:21:43] she's actually part of the Canada. Oh God. His father jerking it to a, what's her name? Diane. Yeah. Oh yeah. And there's a, oh my God. Bring you ultimate pleasure. And they're like, leave him alone while he's finishing up. And it's like, Oh, I don't want to see a work. I don't want to see a work. Jerking himself. I don't know. There's that point. Oh, wait, I just saw it. Oh Christ.

[00:22:13] I'm scarred for life. For most of you wondering, Chewbacca's father jerks off in the show. We don't see it, but we know what's going on. And now on to sports. And of course, that were the blurb underneath. They wrote a little quick sentence. Chewbacca's father turns off. Then you hear Chewbacca's wife go, translation. translation. Why is this all sticky around here? Oh, and that fur. But you know, you think about all the things that Lucas is famous for sort of,

[00:22:43] you know, he wants to burn every single tape. Two, two things that I've noticed. Yeah. Furries, you know, the whole idea of people in China. Oh my God. Yeah. We anticipated that. And also, it's like 90%. If you go into any of these adult film sort of sites, it's all about like family stuff for some weird pervert reason. Well, so it's fast and furious. Romantic family. Brother and sister. Hey, Hey, Hey, remember,

[00:23:13] remember the series taboo. Remember that? I remember that coming out and my buddy's going, Hey, you got to watch this movie. It's really good. Wait a minute. What's it about? Let's just say, if you can't keep it in the pants, keep it in the family. I'm like, what? Oh God. Oh, Tom Hardy pulled it off the air. Cause nobody was watching it. Still better than rising sky. Wait, what's that about taboo? Wait, what'd you say about taboo?

[00:23:41] Taboo was done by Tom Hardy. And he pulled it off the effects because according to him, nobody was watching it. So he pulled it off the air. I'm like, I'm still fucking watching it. I want to know what happens. I like that series. It was really good. We got to do these network execs. Sometimes the first, the first three are great. And then it just got to be like, taboo 25. And you're like, Oh God, can you just be, you know, it's like, stop now, please stop now. But, um,

[00:24:10] I'm surprised they never crossed over star Wars with Emmanuel. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh wait, no, they did Emmanuel in space. Oh, well, they did do that. They actually just came out with a new one. Believe it or not. So yeah. So James, you, your two year old memory, one of your first vivid memories. Two years old. And you're seeing people with British accents and then. Forgetting them. And then exposition dump. And when I got older, James, you just reminded me when I was two,

[00:24:40] the first, I think the first thing I remember is John Glenn in space. So it shows all over. Oh my God. That's one of my first. So it's kind of cool that yours is star Wars. And mine was, you know, mine was actually real space being actual rockets take off. Yeah. Just a question for you. Red wire or blue wire, which do you cut? Cut the blue wire. Okay. Perfect. Cut the green wire.

[00:25:10] A trick here has played on you. All right. uh, James is now a member of the Jedi council. How do you do? Master Yoda. Love him. I do. Wait, I wasn't seeing this for a long time. Anakin. It's a trap. It's a trap. It is. It's a trap. I had my fire. My freshman year of high school.

[00:25:38] I had my friend cracking up because we were, my freshman year of high school, we're going down to the assembly and says, okay, children, we're all going down. Okay, guys, we're all going down to the assembly. And since the first day of school, I just, you know, it's a trap. You're still on the floor. Right. It was. I still, I still, I still, dude, that's like the best Admiral Ackbar ever. How the hell can you just come up with a, a random character like that? I'm like, I don't know. I just said it, you know, it's just only performed by a Jim Henson guy.

[00:26:08] Yeah. The series, Coconauts that used to be on mad TV. Oh my God. It's Admiral Ackbar's. It's just a whole bunch of things. My favorite one is Admiral Ackbar's snack bar. All the different. I think I did vaguely see that there was definitely a robot. Acting Academy. There was a chicken spoof on it. I think starting a restaurant and he's wearing only a G string. And it's just weird. It's just. I'd recommend just go to YouTube. The stereo.

[00:26:38] And then just do a Ackbar snack bar. R2 is like Kenny from South Park. You can blow him up, but he'll just come back. And three POs. I'll call him the Harold Lloyd. He's just going around. He's Dr. Smith in an Android outfit. Oh, there you go. Very much. So he's somehow. He should not be alive. But yeah, just like Jonathan Harris. He is a Brit. And yeah, he's going around.

[00:27:08] I do like. I thought he was. No, he's from Brooklyn. What? He's from Brooklyn. He learned how to refine his accent. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was comparing him to Anthony Daniels. Who played. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, he, I would love to see a free PO version, but done Soprano style. Hey, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

[00:27:38] I got you. Okay. Okay. Hey, I do. Oh, I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. You're going to get an escape pod. You fucking funds and don't get in there. All right. Oh, my God. You go to the R2G person. Hey, the damage doesn't look as bad as Phil Leotardo's head. You know what I mean? That's a good one. Oh,

[00:28:08] Phil Leotardo. Get the fuck out of him. It's funny you mentioned Jefferson Starship earlier, Cam. Because they were in the holiday special. Yeah. Right. Right. And that single of theirs actually got premiered. But yeah, that was part of why they changed their name. It wasn't. I only just recently found this out. I always thought they changed the name to Jefferson Starship. Yeah. They changed it like 74, 75 because, no, 72,

[00:28:36] 73 because Yarmick Calcone and Jack Cassidy had left the band. And they brought in Greg Chican, Greg Chicanalo. Yeah. Some other bass, but I think Pete Sears took over on bass. And they said, all right, since we're going in the future, Starship is dead. Let's, airplane's dead. Let's call ourselves Starship. That's a good impression of Grace Slick. Yeah. You should hear me like you're Grace Slick drunk in Germany. Oh boy. Oh my God. Yeah.

[00:29:07] He's had a lot of fun. Who won the war? Who won the war? He's got some infamous interviews. Yeah. I like B. Arthur's song better than the Starship song. Oh, very good. I don't know. I, I do like that. We have some older people. It does remind me of one of the cool things about Star Wars fandom and truly older series fandom. Yeah. The only one is especially is that these sort of rumors stuck around because we had no internet. Right. Everyone was like, Oh no, this guy is, you know, this person. I,

[00:29:37] it's in some weird, obscure text that you'd have to find and no one. Okay. I believe you then. He had just no material. It's now we were joking earlier about like, stop giving us stuff. Well, you know, everyone remembers the dark years when we just had nothing, you know, we just going through the Timothy song. It almost makes you wonder what would Star Wars have been like? And let me know what you think of this, Jeff, if they had pulled a Friday the 13th where they would have just done a bunch

[00:30:06] of them and they would have exceeded police Academy by now. What, where do you think they'd be now? Didn't they? I know, but let's say they did it back in the day. Let's say if that was every two years in the eighties, what would it look like? I think it's a little something. Like this. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, one of the things, and this is one thing that, that like to a certain extent, the reason why I like stuff like Mandalorian and stuff like that is that it gets away from like the,

[00:30:35] the Skywalker stuff, right? It's like, you know, it's like no daddy issues. Yeah. It's just like the, the whole concept of like, Oh, everything's got to be Skywalkers. And then of course, Ray is a Palpatine. Oh my God. It's like, this is, it turns into something where it's like, Oh, I guess only some people can have these powers. Huh? You know? And it's like, it's just, it's, I don't know. It, it, it, it, it, it, I don't know. It, I,

[00:31:04] I would like to think that there's the future of star Wars is to not be constantly bringing back all the, all the old characters. And, you know, maybe, maybe they should have just kept cranking them out, you know, and then that way we could have eventually gotten away, you know, we could have actually gotten away from. Imagine if Ron Howard actually had done the prequels, like originally asked. Yeah. There'd be good acting. It's a bit like Bruce Wayne's parents were killed. Oh,

[00:31:34] yeah. You know, it is. It is. Every Batman movie. We know the story. It's like, yeah. Yeah. Romeo and Juliet. I don't need, I want to know all the side characters of the Capulets, like the other brothers who instigate instead of, Oh, Romeo, will you please bang me? Like Jeff, the one thing I liked about, uh, you know, Boba Fett, the series was that, and the Mandalorian was that he fleshed out a lot of people that we thought were like, you know, not good people. Like the sand people. We found out.

[00:32:04] Yes. Native Tatooineers, please. Yeah. Native Tatooine lives. Yeah. Are, are like the American Indians. And if you watch it, you know, there are points where, you know, the Mandalorian is using like sign language and stuff. And I'm going, Oh my God, this is what we remember. You know, if you read your history, you know, we, they use sign language to communicate with us. And yeah, you know, we get a little more, we get a more deal about their plight, you know, why they are the way they are.

[00:32:34] Why they're insecure and attack without. Yeah. And then we see the Karat dragon for the first time. That was very neat. And Timothy Oliphant in justified form again. I mean, come on. I'd listen to that guy. Read the phone book. But there's one thing I got to say. I remember I got, I got thrown out of best five for playing row squadron two, too, too much. When I was there. I was in best buy.

[00:33:04] They have the old super, the old Nintendo cube set up, right? So you could play rogue squadron two, right? So I'm playing it. And this kid's like going, I want to play that. And I'm like, I'm playing this. He's like, I want to play that. And he's putting up a big fuss. And the guy goes, sir, either you let him play or we tell you believe. And I'm like, I've been playing this for like 10 minutes. I've been playing this thing for 10 minutes. And I look up and it was an hour. Oh yeah. And I was like, oh yeah.

[00:33:34] Is this kid your nephew, Mr. Store owner? what's going on? this kid's a little prick. So just so you know, James played first. Yeah. James played first. And then, and then, and then I remember going to, uh, Toys R Us and playing of all, they're coming back. Yeah. Jedi Starfighter. Great game. Oh, yes.

[00:34:04] That is, that's an underrated classic right there. They, they even made com, uh, comic books featuring those same characters, Nim and company. But, uh, my, my brother and I, we would go to a friend's house and play the Nintendo 64, but we would also play the PC, CD, PC ROM, uh, version. And it was so cool when you blew stuff up, you had the Panaka guy shouting at you, saying, get over here. Now, boo. And, but it felt so much fun just hijacking and blowing up tanks.

[00:34:33] What about Yaddle? Uh, Yaddle's girlfriend. She's finally getting, uh, we don't love her. I do great sex. We had only, okay. Keep it down. Keep it down. Yeah. Only female one there is. Uh, so what, what race is Yoda? cause George Lucas has always been asked this. And he, he said, he says he's a frog, which we know is bullshit. No, I was, they said, they said at one point,

[00:35:02] they said he was part of a race called the wills, which is, that's right. Yes. The journey of, which is kind of like a journal of, yeah, when they say the journal of the wills, they, I think his, his race are Yoda's race. Um, his civilization are very in tuned with the force and they are known as the wills. So they're basically like, let's say the night sisters, but they're a totally different side of what, what they are. So Yoda and his,

[00:35:31] his civilization are kind of like, you know, carriers of the light side of the force. If you notice, Yoda is very in tune to the force. I have noticed that he seems to be about this whole force thing. Yeah. I think he's pretty good at it. I couldn't tell. He's pretty good. You know, what's been kind of lost in this whole star Wars thing. We've been talking on lately. How cool a character Han Solo is. Yeah. The groundwork at the time, there really wasn't a character like him in movies before.

[00:36:00] Can you imagine if Harrison had not answered the call when you had gone without either Chris Walken or Kurt Russell? Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell. Yes. Chris Walken probably not. I don't know, man. That's cool. Falcon ship fly. Back. That's no movie. That's not even my line. No. I did the castle run. If it's deer hunter era, Chris Walken, it'd be a different story. Who's walk on my hands? They should have got Tim Curry. Space.

[00:36:30] Oh, well. You know, I did the castle run. So, right. Right. And have him still in Rocky Horror Garb. That'd be better. Here's some poor, I don't really care what's going on quality to it. Which is funny because it actually works for the character. Yeah. He's like, I'm just here. We had someone on earlier that their name is Hans Gruber, but I think, um, Rickman, an awesome, uh, Imperial officer. Right. Oh, yes. Emperor. Absolutely. Great emperor.

[00:36:59] Yes. Oh, I would actually like to see him as the emperor. You really think you've got a chance, Jedi? You asked for a miracle. You really think you've got a chance. Why did this take a weird turn? It really did. We must have run with it. I was talking about toys. I think that's it. Friends on the forest moon will die soon. I'll be doing this for the rest of my life. For the rest of my life.

[00:37:28] Don't screw with me. Don't see, Tom, you mentioned bringing the toys in. This is what it's done. Oh, well, I think this is now playing with our toys. I think this is explaining exactly what happened during the castle run. A lot of crazy shit, but down. Yeah. And it would be fun to cross over the star Wars kit. This is so with masters of the universe. This is so. Oh yeah. Oh my God. So you got this guy with tentacles on his head wanting to fist you.

[00:37:58] What the hell story is that? Yeah. It's a good. Roll, roll 34. The conversation went completely off the road. Man Ram. Wasn't that his name? Ram man. Ram man. Yeah. He turns into like various sizes dildos. Well, now I want to see a Thundercats version of star Wars. Oh, I think there's a star Wars. That's not. A lot of these. Disco star Wars. Yeah. Oh, they're all disco star Wars. Do you guys, wait, wait, hold on.

[00:38:26] You guys ever seen the movie star chase, star chaser, the legend of Orin? Yes. Okay. No. Yeah. It's like, who's there? See, Tron? Not, not me. Not me. I have, I have, I have. Oh my God. No, I have not. I love this. The best review I ever heard from Cisco neighbors. George Lucas should have his lawyers at the standby right now. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

[00:38:56] Fun fact. There actually is a He-Man connection to that. Anthony DeLongas, who is best known for doing a lot of sword grappling and everything and voiceovers worked on. Oh God. The guy who played Skeletor. What's his name? That's the. Langella, which he still says it's his favorite role ever. Yeah. He did, he did some voices too. Tom, I'm sorry. No, Alan Oppenheimer. Alan Oppenheimer you're thinking of. Yeah, he did the role. You,

[00:39:26] nincompo. You, nincompo, fools. I'm Skeletor. I got a face like a skeleton. Now I got to compete with the evil horde. What's the matter with you people? Oh, great of her there. Shut your mouth, beast man. Give it to you. You hate this. I'm so lost right now. Sorry, sorry. All right. Yeah, at least you're not alone in this world. Oh, what's tomorrow? Wednesday. And that's where you ask. That's where you nickname your henchman. TK four, two, one.

[00:39:59] the first stormtrooper who Luke and Han dispatch. I always love how you can tell when you're a hardcore star Wars fan, if you know, like the names of again, going back to the background characters, but you know, the guy who they disguise themselves as. So wait a minute. I got a question. When they dispose of him, where do they put the body? I know. It never made any sense. It's gotta be a very stinky millennium falcon. If he's there. Unless he's like, unless, you know, I see some people saying they didn't kill him. I'm like,

[00:40:28] of course they killed him. Why wouldn't they kill him? No, I think Star Wars doesn't have killing in it. Oh my God. I think they stunned them. And they, they were like, they, they went around again and they found them and they're like, okay, they're in there. They're in there somewhere. It's also near impossible as to know who blasts the one guy who identifies them. Is it Han who shoots the guy? Is it Luke? Or is it, it's Han. Okay.

[00:40:56] The 30 plus year old plot holes. Figure down. Here's a, here's a plot hole for you that has not been resolved. My satisfaction. I remember in you hope for, where Obi-Wan is saying only in Imperial stormtroopers, it's precise. Yet in later on, you see, they can't hit the broad side of a barn. So here's my theory. They were trying to shoot at something completely different. And the jaw was got it.

[00:41:23] I think they were trained by red shirts and that was their training, but no, seriously, I think he's getting, I think he's having a bit of a memory of lives. He's getting them mixed up with the clone troopers. Yeah. I think so. Or here's, here's the, here's a crossover for you. They were trained by the same people who trained Cobra. Oh my God. Oh yeah. Cliff loves him some Cobra. Have you heard of him? I'm talking about G.I. Joe Cobra. Oh, okay. Well, even better. Okay. Cobra.

[00:41:53] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The original. I imagine G.I. Joe with Stallone. Imagine Star Wars with Stallone. I, I, I'm serious. You and me, Vader, we got a box, man. Cause I am putting up with you. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you remember. I don't have time for this. But only if you bring back Brugis Meredith. Oh God.

[00:42:23] There's the G.I. Joe. I am. And only if he's only if he's that big fat greasy speed when you fight. Imagine him as Yoda. My God, what it takes kid. Yeah. Imagine if he's in penguin form too. There you go. Um, anyway, so Leslie, what's the worst cosplay you've seen by either of these? you clearly have mastered it. Is this getting good wardrobes and props and everything?

[00:42:53] Has there ever been any just like rude cosplay events where they do like a fake fight or wrestling match with the two? I'm not sure what your question is. Like it, like if I met a convention. Yeah. Tracker Wars cosplayers. Has there ever been any wacky off color? Oh, it's been crazy. I love my, my favorite convention. I love to go to his dragon con. I love it. They actually have wrestling at dragon. And they have, they throw everything but the kitchen sink. I've seen Pokemon. Kitchen sink. Ladies.

[00:43:22] They even fight with a kitchen sink. No, they're, they're been there. They were Jedi's and they had. My sister knew a guy who knew another guy who knew five other guys who were part of a Klingon fight club. I kid you not. Like they would go behind the skull in wardrobe and be like, it is a good day to die. Yeah. It's, it's crazy that the wrestling they've got at dragon con is really nuts. It's, it's really, it's hysterical. It's really, they do really have wrestlers there,

[00:43:52] but they'll have these crazy fights where it'll be like a Jedi against a Klingon and stuff like that. It's like a Pokemon in there last year. And so that's why the, uh, the rock got his ass headed to him by seven of nine. Yeah. She kicked his ass hard, man. That's a show. And I believe it. Put a Vulcan against Andre. No, get a Vulcan against, uh, who is it? Braun Breaker. It'd be like, Braun Breaker. Braun Breaker.

[00:44:21] Just does the Vulcan nerve pinch. It just falls out. And like Indy pulling out the gun, huh? Yeah. I'm restraining from talking about wrestling. Cause I know I, I took over before it. I didn't mean to. It's all right, man. It's all right. You can drop in. You can drop in. I mean, if anything, I see Greedo dying at a star Wars wrestling match again. So it'd be more who it, instead of the, who shot first, it'd be who wrestled him first, who suplexed first, who tapped out first.

[00:44:51] Or if you're going, or if you're, if you're, if you're, Gordon. So like who suplexed first, not suplexed. Am I did the original trilogy? Um, um, he has his own star Wars. Um, these are, he remastered them in 4k. And these are the original theatricals, uh, non-special editions in 4k. They look gorgeous.

[00:45:20] I have a VHS of, uh, star Wars, uh, episode three, four, excuse me. Uh, new hope. Um, Hey, that's CBS television from 1983. I think it was. I remember that my grandfather taped it. He didn't know how to pause the commercial. So he just let it tape. And afterwards, Mark Hamill hosted a special. And it's on a shelf right there. And I have a VCR hooked them over here. Um, and it's the original cut with commercials from,

[00:45:50] with the CBS commercials from 1983. I love it. I found. R2 was in the house and he just went, woo. I found up in my, up in my attic. I was cleaning out some stuff a couple months ago. And, uh, cable vision by me used to put out stuff like, you know, like who, what's going to be on HBO. So I, I, I opened this, I look, I look at this thing and it's like under this thing and it has star Wars on it. And I realized in third grade,

[00:46:19] star Wars was on HBO. Yeah. And it was a big, it's not TV. Every kid, every kid that night I knew who was a star meets me included. We got our homework done. We got to take it. And we sat down and we watched star Wars all the way through. The next day we were at school. Like it ended at like 11 o'clock next day. We're all at school. We're all just like, like looking at each other, like star Wars, star Wars, star Wars, star Wars, you know,

[00:46:48] did you fill all your exams? Love to see that VHS with the commercials. That's great. Yeah. I can only imagine. He introduced a family. It was like a whole bunch of star Wars stuff in their house. I wonder what the ads were like. Yeah. I'm Gerald Ford. It was like, Dr. Dr. And it was like, uh, your peanut butter hit my, and, uh, you know, chewy, chewy, natural Valley, chewy. And it was like the fucking sea. Oh my God. You're bringing back memories.

[00:47:18] Levy's, levy's, levy's on the table, table, table. It's 9 PM on the East coast. Do you know where your children are? Yeah. It was all that shit. Yeah. I love it. Do they have any commercials with, with, uh, Lou Jacoby going, I know what you eat. And I care about what you eat. And I care about what you eat. Before all the Ronald Reagan and Tipper Gore fear-mongering. Some word in there, America. Wilford Brimley doing. Yeah. Breeders. No, wait, wait, wait, hold on. Sam.

[00:47:49] He was in the Ewok movies. He's part of the star Wars. Yeah. That's right. You want to know something really weird? Is that. It's Wilford Brimley in cocoon. And then you take Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise now is 15 years older than Wilford Brimley was when he was in right now. Yeah. That is bananas, dude. I'm Tom Cruise. Of course, it's not strong. And Wilford Brimley always did something.

[00:48:19] He did Quaker Oats. That was the commercial he did. Yeah, man. You gotta eat your Quaker Oats in the morning or you're gonna freaking drop dead. You're gonna get diabetes. Let me. This is Admiral Biatch to Base Camp. It seems the stormtroopers have gone on strike and I have no experience with this type of shit. Who should I call for help? It's the B to the A to the D-E-R. Reconstructing the Death Star with my slick suede suit that's black like Tom. Fucking you up no matter who you are.

[00:48:48] Tell the motherfuckers about to skip dark side. Pull up on your planet Death Star. Drive by. The evil rebels cause the skills ain't shit. And if my Tide Fighters zigzag stay lit. Oh shit. Yoda on the sea. 900 year fee. Smoking take a bar green. Bitches on my tip like Lando on liquor. Oh, you're just jealous cause my black dick's thicker. Yo, tell him Chewie last night I had Leia all drunk one to do me. Yeah, boy.

[00:49:14] Go down this dice to all you bitches on that pussy planet Earth. Fuck not with the rebels. For powerful are we with the force. I'm talking about some real deep space gangster shit. Now pass me the blunt chew and let's fuck some sorry hoes.

[00:49:51] You'll return after these messages. Back here, we got a 90 minute weekly shack stop. It's growing all over the world. Find it at 2 p.m. And 10 p.m. Eastern time on Mondays. Then 3 p.m. On Wednesdays. Then 7 p.m. On Thursdays. You can catch it on many more radio stations. 99.9 KERV. 1 p.m. Central time. 2 p.m. Eastern on Mondays.

[00:50:20] Then catch the Encore on Thursdays. At 5 p.m. Central time. 6 p.m. Eastern. Then catch it Wednesday mornings. At 11 a.m. Eastern time. 10 a.m. Central. On 1077 K-Twins. Then hang out with us Wednesday afternoons. On MXTR and Hal Shack Radio. 3 p.m. Eastern time. Then Thursday. Get up bright and early with us on 95.7 Web Radio. At 6 a.m. Pacific time. 9 a.m.

[00:50:51] Eastern. Of course, we've got the Friday covered as well. 12 p.m. Eastern time on MXTR FM. And 10 p.m. Eastern time. 9 p.m. Central. 1077 K-Twins. Find everything on HalShack.com. HalShack. If you like small town mystery, crazy news, and wild history, then the Florida Men on Florida Man podcast is for you.

[00:51:19] Each week, Josh Mills and Wayne McCarty bring you the absolute best Florida has to offer. So if you're looking for a show that's safe for the family, but funny enough to help you escape everyday life, then listen to the Florida Men on Florida Man podcast. That's Florida Men, plural, on Florida Man podcast. Do you ever find yourself thinking about who would win in a fight between Goku and Superman? Hi, I'm James Gavsey, and on the Who Would Win show, me and my co-host Ray ignore anything important happening in the outside world

[00:51:48] and debate fictional battles between characters from comics, movies, and video games. We got a new show every week, and almost always am I the winner. Yeah, not true, Ray. In the past, we've discussed such matches as Captain America vs. Darth Vader, Solid Snake vs. The Iron Giant, classic matchups like Robocop vs. Terminator, and even the Muppets vs. Sesame Street. That one was crazy. So if you're a fan of geek culture and love a spirited debate, check out the Who Would Win show wherever you get your podcasts,

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