How do you handle being shoulder checked? Do you believe in it? Intro and outro @fiverr. Edited @auphonic, follow on ig, Pinterest and threads at dreaspointofview. Follow on x and spill at dreaspoint.
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[00:00:14] Allow me to welcome you to Dreas Point of View. I am your hostess, Dreya. In the next 10 minutes or less, I will be offering you my perspective on a topic that I feel passionate about. So make sure you're following the show, Dreas Point of View on IG, Pinterest, Threads, Facebook, and at Dreya Point on X and Spill.
[00:00:37] So I came across this topic on Threads. Black woman posted a video about she was walking. She said her normal walk and these two white women were on the sidewalk. They saw her, they were talking, and neither one of them bothered to give her space. So she shoulder checked them with no apology.
[00:01:09] And if you don't know what shoulder checking means, it means intentionally bumping someone's shoulder as you go past them. Now, there were a lot of comments. And I'm going to talk about some of those comments and then give my perspective.
[00:01:32] The majority of people actually agreed with her because she was trying to take up space like they were, like who's there too? She's one. Common sense would tell you to make, move out of the way when you see that one person, right? That's how I see it. And that's how a lot of people saw it.
[00:01:57] Sidewalk is meant to be shared. So she didn't shrink. She took up space. And that's what a lot of people expect us to do, especially as black people. They want us to shrink. They want us to move out of the way. They want us to do the accommodating.
[00:02:14] And that made me think of my experience walking past people. And for the most part, I'm not going to shoulder check you. I'm just, come on. I see you coming. I'm going to move.
[00:02:26] And I would say about 95% of the people that I encounter do the same. But then there's that five who don't. And they are usually white people. And that got into another conversation about how, you know, it got into race, about how they feel entitled and they expect you to move and they don't care.
[00:02:53] And no apology given. That's my thing. When you bump past someone, you should give an apology. Usually it's a guy, from my experience, who does it and doesn't apologize.
[00:03:06] Which is crazy because I'm in no way, shape, or form big. Never have been. So you would just intentionally bump a woman, especially one that's smaller.
[00:03:19] I remember once I was in the airport and this pilot just slams right into me. I know that had to be intentional because I knew I was trying to move out of the way.
[00:03:29] And I don't remember. I know he didn't say sorry. I think I did. But I mean, if you're slamming right in front into someone, you know that's intentional. Come on.
[00:03:40] I was, but yeah, that was the only time it's ever been that extreme. I normally try to get out of the way. There is one time though.
[00:03:50] I do remember. I was just, that day, I just wasn't happening. I said, let's see if this guy says, excuse me.
[00:03:56] I was standing in line and I was standing in line in the store and this guy comes up and I was waiting.
[00:04:05] All he had to say was, excuse me. And then I would move. Normally I do. But that day I just wanted to see something.
[00:04:10] And he did everything he could to squeeze past this display so he wouldn't have to say, excuse me.
[00:04:17] And he did just that and I didn't flinch. And I'm like, wow, that's the thing. Like no one says, excuse me.
[00:04:24] And that was part of the post. Like people don't say, excuse me or thank you.
[00:04:28] I know when I'm in a store quite often and I'm looking at something, people will go in front of me.
[00:04:34] You know, that small space between you and the product. Why would you cut in front of someone when you see them looking without saying anything?
[00:04:41] And people do that quite often. So I think I may just have to get a little closer to what I'm looking at.
[00:04:46] So no one does that. But yeah, the shoulder checking thing. How do you feel about that?
[00:04:53] It was kind of interesting to see some of the white women comment and they actually stood by her.
[00:05:01] Very few people disagreed with her. They're like, so you just intentionally did that? What purpose does that serve?
[00:05:06] The purpose is to show that we both deserve the same amount of space.
[00:05:11] And it's funny too, because I go to Vegas often. And if you walk the strip, you can't help but walk.
[00:05:17] You're not alone on that strip, okay? Because there's always hundreds of people walking with you, if not thousands.
[00:05:24] And I don't think I've ever, anyone has ever shoulder checked me there.
[00:05:29] They see me coming or I see them and you, who want to do that? You know what I mean?
[00:05:35] But I didn't disagree with her because I saw her point. You know, people always expect us to dance around them and to be gracious when they don't show us the same.
[00:05:52] And I'm not saying go walk around and bump into people or slam into them.
[00:06:01] You know, I don't know. I was raised to have manners.
[00:06:04] But every now and then, you may just kind of want to get the urge.
[00:06:09] Like, why should we always be the one to move?
[00:06:14] Why should we always be the one?
[00:06:16] Now, someone said something about opening a door.
[00:06:18] If I see someone coming, I'm going to hold the door or an elevator.
[00:06:22] I'm not going to shut the door on someone if I see them coming.
[00:06:26] I mean, that's just common courtesy.
[00:06:27] You don't have the door for strangers.
[00:06:30] That's just wrong to do.
[00:06:32] But, yeah.
[00:06:34] How do you feel about shoulder checking?
[00:06:35] Have you ever shoulder checked?
[00:06:38] I'd love to know.
[00:06:40] At Drea's Point of View at Yahoo.com.
[00:06:43] And how do you feel about the lady?
[00:06:45] Was she wrong?
[00:06:46] Should the other two women have moved?
[00:06:50] Or at least someone said, excuse me.
[00:06:54] And you can count on one hand.
[00:06:56] I know I can.
[00:06:57] The number of people that say, excuse me.
[00:06:59] And that's so crazy to me.
[00:07:01] Like, if they're reaching over you or something, they'll say, watch your head.
[00:07:04] Or I need to get over there.
[00:07:06] Like, no one will do whatever they need to do.
[00:07:09] But no one will say, excuse me.
[00:07:11] And it's so crazy to me.
[00:07:14] How did we get here?
[00:07:18] Hopefully, you found this episode interesting enough to continue listening, sharing,
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[00:07:28] at dreahspointofview.substack.com.
[00:07:33] As always, thanks so much for your time.
[00:07:35] I thank you for listening.
[00:07:36] This has been Drea's Point of View.