ECW

[00:00:23] And welcome to episode 617 of the Pittsburgh Nerd Podcast. I'm Sean. I'm Nancy, and this is the only podcast that says... He is the most suicidal, homicidal, genocidal man in ECW. Who? His name is Sabu. Oh God.

[00:00:53] Well, that's a name you haven't heard in a while. He passed away to that. What? Yeah. Sabu? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Were you waiting to tell me this? Yeah, I figured I'd say to get your... Jesus! Genuine reaction on the podcast. How old was he? 60. I was going to say he wasn't that old. Yeah. Wow. Sabu. Sorry. That's sad. It is.

[00:01:22] But I mean, you wonder what he died from. Oh, it's not announced? I didn't see it anywhere. He's only 60. Yeah. The shit that man put his body through for my entertainment. I was going to say, the shit that all the men at ECW did. Well, a lot of them, yes. I mean, there's no doubt about it. But when you talk about ECW, and I'm not talking about the WWE version of ECW. Right. I'm talking about ECW 1995 to 2001. Right.

[00:01:51] Like, you know, the hardcore revolution. Even before that, like, 94. But my point is, like, you go back and you look at, like, what a lot of those guys did. And you're like, how does Tommy Dreamer remember shit? Yeah. You know? Yeah. How does Sandman function? Yeah. But Sabu was beyond that. Really?

[00:02:19] Like, I watched a match, and it's called Barbed Wire to Hell. Excuse me. And it's Sabu versus Terry Funk. Oh. In the ECW arena. Okay. The ropes were replaced with barbed wire. Okay. Right, right.

[00:02:43] At some point in this match, Sabu, his arm, his upper arm, or his tricep is, is completely ripped open to the bone. Right. He is using medical tape to hold it together. Oh, wow. Wow. Him and Terry Funk are wrapped in barbed wire. Like, completely entwined in barbed wire. Right.

[00:03:09] And there are people, as they're punching each other, there are people with wire snips trying to snip the barbed wire away from them. Wow. And this was a half hour match. Yeah, that's insanity. This wasn't like 10 minutes or something. They went at it. Like, they poured gallons of blood. Yeah. And again, a completely ripped apart arm that was being held together by medical tape. Tape, yeah.

[00:03:38] And they went for a half hour. Wow. And it's... That's a long time to have barbed wire over you. Right. And it's like, it's that thing where I'm like, I'm watching that match at that time. That was probably 98. Really? I want to say. Wow. And it was that thing where as I'm watching it, I'm like, this is the most violent and

[00:04:07] most disgusting thing I've ever seen. But it's really like the most violent and disgusting. But I couldn't turn away from it. No, it was like a train wreck. It was. It was like a train wreck. Yeah. And like, I'll never watch that match again. I don't ever want to see highlights of that match. Like, nothing. But like, it was like at that moment watching it, it was mesmerizing. Right. Because of the level of violence and like, you knew what was taking place. Yeah.

[00:04:36] And the fact they kept going. Yes. Like, this didn't stop. I think they asked him to stop and Sabu said no. Really? Yeah. Wow. I think at one point Bill Alfonso is like, you should think about... Stopping. Yeah. And he's like, no. That's insane. It is. It's... I mean... But that was Sabu. And he's somebody I've had the privilege and honor of seeing several times live. Right.

[00:05:02] You know, going to the Ross Draver Ice Garden to watch ECW house shows. Right. And... Was he there the time we went or the... Because we saw ECW twice. Well, we... Well, we went to... After... This was after the first or the second one-night season. Stand. Pay-per-view. And WWE announced that they were relaunching ECW as their third brand.

[00:05:31] And they put the title on... Rob Van Dam. Okay. And it was Rob... The main event was Rob Van Dam versus the Big Show. And I was when, like... The first time I ever saw the Big Show, like, up close like that. You're just like... His banana. Yeah. Because I've seen him live. Because that was... That show was at the Ross Draver Ice Garden. Right. And the second time we saw him, it was like a taping. Like, it was like, you know, before SmackDown. Right. And then they taped...

[00:06:00] Then, you know, so they taped ECW. Then they had SmackDown. SmackDown. Right. And, um... But the thing I'll never forget about that show is, like, it was trying so hard to be ECW, and it wasn't. But, like... Yeah. Like, we would go, like... The Ross Draver Ice Garden. It's a house show, which means, like, it's not televised. Right. And... And... They were still bleeding all over each other. Yeah.

[00:06:29] Like, they were still doing the crazy shit. They don't care. No, they didn't. Like, it was like, you paid good money to see us eat the fuck out of each other, and we're gonna give you what you paid for. Exactly. And... I've watched Sabu do some fucked up shit over the years. Yeah, he's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, so, like... I mean, it's one of those things where, like, it hurts a little bit, because he was, like, a guy I liked. Yeah.

[00:06:59] A guy I liked watching. Yes. You know... I've listened to interviews with him. He seemed like kind of a cool dude. You know, for who he was. But... It'd be nice to know why. Or how. Huh? Like, how he passed. It would be nice to know. Yeah. But, like, I just... I hope... Like, he just wrestled his last match not too long ago. I was just gonna ask you that when the last time was he wrestled, because I don't... I don't... I don't know.

[00:07:29] Like, he was, like, showing up on the indies and still doing, like, bat shit crazy. Like... Like, the gimmick, like, where he would go... He'd put the chair in the ring, and then he'd do the double... Like, he'd run up to the ropes, and then come back and, like, do the double jump off the chair into the crowd. Right. What the fuck? You know... Yeah, what are you doing? It's just insane. Insane. Insane. I... He almost hit me. Really? Yeah. Oh.

[00:07:59] What an honor. Yeah. I was a super fan. Thad can confirm us, because he was there. Oh. But it was the first time we went to go see ECW, and we were sitting... We were in the second row. Most of... At any time after that, we had front row seats. Thad made sure. But this one time, we had second row seats, which Thad was very upset about. Oh, boy. But the main event was Bam Bam Bigelow and the franchise Shane Douglas... Bam Bam Bigelow.

[00:08:27] ...against Rob Van Dam and Sabu. Oh, shit. And anywhere else in the country, Rob Van Dam and Sabu were the good guys. Right. But in Pittsburgh... What? Shane Douglas was the good guy, because he was a local boy. Right. And... Like, at one point, like, the franchise gets tagged in, and he's in there with Van Dam, and right before they lock up, the crowd starts chanting, fuck him up, franchise, fuck him up. And Van Dam stops. He's looking around.

[00:08:57] He's like, you can just see him mouthing, fuck him up, franchise? Yeah. What the hell? Welcome to Pittsburgh, motherfucker. Yeah. But, um... He was very confused. Shane Douglas... And Shane Douglas was my favorite. Yeah. I loved Shane Douglas. Yeah. But he gets thrown into the crowd, and he's right next to me. See? And I'm like, holy shit, there's Shane Douglas right there. And Shane goes, I need you to move. Yeah. And I turned my head, and Sabu didn't care. He was coming. He was doing the double jump. Yeah.

[00:09:27] Off the chair and off the ropes. And I was like, oh, I took, like, two steps back, and there's Sabu flying right in front of me. Yeah. I'm like, holy shit. Which side was Thad on? He was on the other side. Like, Thad was smart enough to get away. Like, he knew what was going on. I was just like... If you were with him, I wanted to know where he was in the scheme of things. Yeah. He had gotten some distance, because he was smart enough where I was like... He saw it coming. Yeah. I'm like, there's Shane Douglas right there. Yeah. And he's like, if there's Shane Douglas, something else is going on. Well, and Shane's like, I need you to move.

[00:09:58] Wow. That's insane. Yeah. Well, wasn't Thad and his sister with the one we went to in Rush Draper? I could have swore they were with us then. Yeah, they were. They were? Okay. Because she was, like, in their faces when they were back, because we were only a couple of rows back. Sue has somewhere, I'm sure, I know she still has it. But she has a photo album with all of her tickets, because she went with us all the time.

[00:10:28] And all of her pictures. Yeah. And she used to take, like, she did not care. She was unrelenting. Like, she would, like, if a guy got knocked out of the ring and was like, like, I swear, this guy was fucking concussed. Because they didn't have mats outside of the ring at all. Right. And it was just, like, like a layer of carpet on top of the ice. Right, right. Because the greatest thing about that place was, like, you could put your beard down and it would stay cold. Yeah.

[00:10:58] So, this guy gets thrown out of the ring and I swear to God, he is concussed. Like, for real. Like, he hit in an awkward way and his head hit the ice. Oh my God. And Sue is reaching over the railing and snapping pictures, like, right in his face as he's, like, bleeding all over the place. You know. I can see her doing that. No fucks given by little Susie. Hey, you know what? She got what she needed. She did.

[00:11:28] She was. She got her money's worth. Yeah. Oh. He's funny. So, yeah. That was, um. But, yeah. That was Sabu and that was ECW. Yeah. Back in the 90s. That was. That was as punk rock as you could get. Hmm. Like, watching that shit. Right. Because it was. It was punk rock wrestling. There was. It wasn't WWE. No.

[00:11:57] It wasn't WCW. No. It wasn't even, like, their. Like, it made their hardcore stuff get put to shame for the most part. Right. Like, there was something like Mick Foley going off the top of Hell in a Cell and then going through the cell and having his nose. Yeah. His tooth go through his nose. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah. But still, like. You get credit for that. Yeah. But that's Mick Foley. Yeah. You expect that. Yeah. But, like, overall, like, the stuff that ECW would just do. Right.

[00:12:27] Like, there was a match between Bam Bam Bigelow and Taz. Mm-hmm. And Taz was a legitimate badass. Right. Yeah. Like, he was only 5'8", but he was a legitimate badass. I'm not a fan, but I give man credit. Yeah. Like, I mean, he was a black belt in Kwai Kondo and Jiu-Jitsu. Right. Yeah. Like, he. He knows his shit. Yeah. And Bam Bam Bigelow was a badass just because he was a big, burly man. Right.

[00:12:56] Knew how to fuck you up. Right. And they're wrestling. And the other thing with ECW is, like, there was no count. There was no rules. Like, all the referee was there to do was count to three. Right. Like, there was no disqualifications in real ECW matches. No. Yeah. Like, the tag matches were just. There were no tags. No. Like, it was. We didn't even know they were doing the whole hand-out thing. Yeah. That was the great thing about ECW. Yeah. But, so, Taz and Bam Bam are wrestling throughout the arena. Right.

[00:13:24] And they go out to the concession stand. Oh, really? Yes. And this is at Ross Draver. This is at Ross Draver. The concession stand as it was. Wow. And, now, you know, because you've seen these windows. Mm-hmm. The windows that look out towards the ice from the concession stand have, like, chicken wire. Right. Because they're meant to deflect hockey shots. Because it's the way it is. Like, it's a hockey arena. And so, that end is, like, where the goalie would be.

[00:13:54] So, if you shot high and it hit the window, the window didn't break. Because it was reinforced with this chicken wire inside. And Bam Bam Bigelow put Taz through one of those fucking windows. Wow. Shattered it. Wow. Wow. Yeah. It was, like... Wow. And, like, Ross Draver was, like, pissed. Which I don't blame. Because that window probably cost a ton to replace. But it was, like, one of those things where I was, like... Like, they were extremely pissed that this happened.

[00:14:24] They're, like... Like, threatened, like, never have them back again. Oh, God. Oh, wow. You'd have to make it worth it. That's the thing. I think, like... They sold so many tickets. Like... And it was, like, that thing of, like... There was probably 2,000 or 3,000 people in that building. Right. For those shows. Right. And at, you know... What they were selling... Like, they... I'm sure ECW said, well, we'll pay for the window. And we won't let it happen again. Oh, yeah.

[00:14:53] They have to. Yeah. They have to. But for ECW, having that show was a big deal. Because it paid bills. Right. And I'm sure for Ross Draver... Yeah. Looking back, they were like, okay, yeah, we kind of have to... You know... Yeah. Exactly. This is a moneymaker for us. Right. You know... Yeah. But, yeah... Oh, yeah, you know that happened. Yeah. There's no doubt. But, I mean, like I said, like, it was... It's close to punk rock as you could fucking get. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:15:23] I have never disagreed with that statement. Yeah. And, like, having lived through it. Like, having been there through it. Yeah. And, like, the shenanigans and the craziness. And, like, you know, getting covered in beer by the Sandman. And watching... Yeah. You know... Oh, God. What was it then? The Gangsta. I think it's, like, more or less, like... For people that are all wrestling so fake and blah, blah, blah. They choreographed the shit, so there's a bit of fakeness, I think. Yeah. But...

[00:15:53] I think it would have to be, like, you need to go to a live show. A good one. To believe. You know what I mean? To believe that it is actually entertaining and they actually are athletes. Well, yeah. Like, I do think, like, especially, like, WWE and, like, AEW and TNA. The higher levels. Um... You know, there's certainly a level of athleticism. You are putting your body through some rigors. But, like...

[00:16:22] They're practically working out, like, 24-7. Yeah. But, like, I'm talking, like, at that time, like, ECW was just a completely different... Like, they... It was, like, that weird thing of, like, they were looking out for each other's safety, but somehow they weren't. With some of the shit that they did. Right. You know, like... Thad... The first time we went, Thad bought a cookie tray.

[00:16:50] An air-gapped cookie tray. So it's a dual-layer cookie tray with air... Like, so it's got two layers of sheet metal. This thing was fucking heavy. Mm-hmm. And I watched... Um... I can't remember... It got wrapped around Bubba Ray Dudley's head. Oh, God. And Thad was able to get it back. He has it, like, sitting on his mantle at home. Like, it's, like, it's a... As it should be. Yeah. Like, it was just, like...

[00:17:17] One of those things where it's, like, I cannot believe, like, somebody hit somebody in the head full force with this thing. Mm-hmm. Like, it's stuff like that. Like, it was stuff like... Like, I said, like, the guy who, like, went flying out of the ring and head first smacked the ice, is bleeding all over himself, and there's Sue snapping pictures. Like, that would not have flown in WWE. Right. You know, or WCW back then. That shit was, like... Right, right. No, we can't have this.

[00:17:46] Like, it was, like, that odd thing of, like... I know, like, some of it is, like, choreographed. I know some of it is, like, you know, you don't hit with a punch, but... Right. But I'll bring a cookie sheet over your head with no problem. Right. You know? Yeah. That's funny. I'm sorry. I don't know why, to me, it's amusing. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:18:16] And don't be calling me any names, either. I mean, like, I don't... Some people get offended, you know. No offense, MJ Hef. Like, but there are some... Like, I get offended by it myself, like, because I was, like... You know, I was one of those guys, like, right there, like... ECW! ECW! You know? Like... Hmm. It was, like, watching gladiatorial combat in Roman time. Like, you know, I'm here for the blood and the guts. Yeah. Basically, yeah.

[00:18:46] Like, if I get a good wrestling match along the way, great. Yeah. But, like, I'm here for the blood and the guts. Right. You know? A great wrestling match, great. Yeah. Yeah. And you'd get that. Like, you would get, like, the 20 minutes of, like, the Dudleys and, you know, the Gangsta and Balls Mahoney and whoever else, like, you know, just beating the hell out of each other with as many foreign objects as possible.

[00:19:11] But then you would follow that up with, like, Shane Douglas against somebody and they would have a completely technical match. I wouldn't mind seeing ECW, no, AEW Live just once. If it was a good show, you know, with Darby and... I can't get... Penton, I mean, there's... I can't even root for that. But MJF and shit like that, you know, Britt Baker would be nice to see live.

[00:19:41] That's the problem with AEW, though. Like, you never know what you're getting from week to week. Right. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So you can't even judge if they're here, even on a pay-per-view, that it's going to be a great show. Like... Or who you would want to see. I heard somebody talk about this. It was, like, kind of a brilliant thinking. You know, WWE has a brand split. They have, you know, their guys that are on Raw and women that are on Raw.

[00:20:09] They have their wrestlers that are on SmackDown. Right. Sometimes there's a little bit of a crossover. But for the most part, when you go to a show, like, if WWE announces Raw is coming to Pittsburgh, I know in general who's going to be on that show, barring injury. Like, I can know, right? Like, I know they're coming. I think it's in July. So I know Seth Rollins will be there. Braun Breaker will be there.

[00:20:40] Penta will be there. Chad Gable will be there. It's because you watch and follow them. Right. But so I know, in general, who's on that roster and who I can expect to see at that show. Right. With AEW, they have two shows. They have Collision and they have Dynamite. Right. But on any given week, I have no fucking clue who's going to be on the show. Right. So.

[00:21:08] Even though you follow them, you're not getting that information. Right. Like, I mean, and even if it's somebody who's like been on like three weeks in a row, well, like when it comes to my week, they may just be giving a week off. Yeah. You know, so it's like there's no. So if you took their wrestlers and they have a ton of them. Yes, they do. And they did a brand split. So you had Team Dynamite and Team Collision. Well, now when AEW comes to town and it's a Wednesday, well, I know it's Collision.

[00:21:37] Well, now I know I'm going to see the Young Bucks and Kenny Omega and MJF and the Hertz Syndicate. Like I can like, and if it's a Saturday and it's Collision, oh, okay, well, now I'm going to see Moxley and Claudio Castagnoli. Like I could like count on like, okay, these are the performers on this brand and these are the performers on this brand. Instead, I get like a hodgepodge of like. Hodgepodge. Sorry.

[00:22:05] Moxley shows up on Collision and then, you know, he shows up on Dynamite this week, but he doesn't show up anywhere in the week. Yeah. Like it becomes confusing because you're like, well, I want there's a wrestler I want to see, but I have no guarantee that they're even going to fucking be there. Right. Exactly. And that would be scary. And that is why. Like you, you, you get become hesitant to buy a ticket. Right. Because like, fuck, I don't know who's going to be there. Yeah. That's not fair.

[00:22:34] Where with a, a, a, or WWE, like I can say like, okay, hey, Cody's coming to town. It's, it's SmackDown. Yeah. You know, it's, it's. Right. Yeah. You would know. Right. So that's the, I think the big, the big thing, you know. I, I understand that. Yeah. I went by taking on hearsay because there are times that I was, I would go and ask you what was on and you'd be like, nobody you want to see. Yeah. And that would be my luck. I would be at that show. Yeah.

[00:23:05] Yeah. I would get all Dave. What's his face all day. What's his name? The dude that was arguing Darby a little bit ago. Moxley. No, no. The one that wears red. The African-American. Oh, swerve. Don't like him. Yeah. I just don't like his swag or whatever the hell he's persona. I don't care for that. I don't know why.

[00:23:35] It's weird. Yeah. But I want to see Prince. Isn't he the one with the dancing? Prince. Yeah. I say, yeah. I swerve when I try. Yeah. Just weird. That guy's phenomenal though. Oh, he's like one of the greatest. He knows how to get some cheers, man. One of the greatest lines ever was hanging and was like, you know, I'm going to beat your

[00:24:01] ass and I'm going to go out in the parking lot and I'm going to take all the weed that Prince Don is selling to 17 years old and beat his ass. And I don't want to smoke that shit. Prince Don is like, how do you know I'm selling weed as 17 year olds? Yeah. That's the one he picked up on. Yeah. What was your question originally? I can't remember. Oh, Sabu. Yeah. We started off with Sabu and the passing of Sabu. RIP. Yeah.

[00:24:30] Well, keep me updated because, see, I'm sorry. I think 60 is young. Yeah, it is. He's probably the body of a 90 year old. No doubt. Yeah. No doubt. But he was still in the game. That's what's so... Who knows? Who knows? So... Yeah. That was that. Yeah.

[00:24:58] I read this tweet the other day. It bothered me. Oh, gosh. And I mean, I get like, I am a slob of a person. I am. Like, I don't dress well. I've never really been one to dress well. I've... I'm the type of guy... Like... Here's what it said. Like, in general. Like, in general.

[00:25:23] Like, a successful man gets his hair cut twice a month. Smells nice. Wears quality clothing. Like, it was like... Like, all this stuff, like, I don't do. But the thing that stuck out to me was get your hair cut twice a month. Now, I get it. I am the extreme exception.

[00:25:52] Like, I go like six months between haircuts. Right. And I was like, how do you go six months? I just... I do. But, like... My first question was, who the fuck is getting your hair cut twice a month? And so I went into the comments to say that. And then I noticed in the comments, like, some of these people were saying, I go once a week. I go every 10 days. Wow. I'm like... And then they're like... And, you know... And then they're talking about, like, well, with Tip, I spend, like, $80 on a haircut.

[00:26:22] Like, who the fuck is spending $80 a week on a haircut? Wow. Like, I go to Great Clips and I spend $20 with Tip. Look on your face right now. Like... And, like, I felt like... Like, these people would be appalled by that statement.

[00:26:54] Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Wall Street guys? Because they have to. Military men? I don't know. But military men usually do their own. But, like, it's that thing of, like... Okay. I remember... I used to love reading GQ magazine. Because they actually had very interesting articles. But... And I read an article and it was, like, things a man should... Every man should do at least once. A lot of shit on that list. I'm like, I ain't ever going to be able to do that.

[00:27:23] But one of them was... Go to a barber. Okay. Go to a real barber. Yeah. At the time, my sister's boyfriend... I lived upstairs with my sister. Her boyfriend was like... You should go see my barber. Like, okay. Yeah, sure. You know. Your hair looks okay. Yeah. So... Now, to put this in perspective... This is right after the Super Bowl where Ray Lewis allegedly killed a man. Oh.

[00:27:53] Like, one week later. So... I go to this barber shop. And I'm like... Yeah, I'm... I'm friends with Lou. Here to get a haircut. And the guy's like... Oh, yeah, sure. I'd have a seat. Old guy. Like, there's three old guys sitting there reading the paper. Okay, great. He puts me in the chair, leans me back, and he's like... Shaving a haircut, sir? I'm like, yeah, absolutely. That's good shaving a haircut.

[00:28:23] That sounds awesome. Oh, God. So he's got me all lathered up, giving me the shave, and he's got the straight razor. I was just going to ask that. Old school straight razor. Old school barber. Fuck now. Like, he's got the strap behind me. He's like, you know, sharpening it up with that strap. Yeah, man. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Here we go. And he's got the razor to my cheek, and as he's going down, he goes, so what do you think about what that N-word did down there in Atlanta?

[00:28:54] Oh. And I could feel... Yeah. ...those guys... Yeah. ...like, peeking up from their paper, and I've got this straight razor coming down my cheek, and I was just like, yeah, fuck N-word. I hope he gets the chair. Wow. Got my shave and my hair cut, I fucking left. Yeah.

[00:29:22] But in that moment... Yeah. ...like, I was not going to rise and be like, we shouldn't be saying that kind of thing. Yeah. I was just like... Were they... They were all white. Oh. ...oh. Everybody was white in that... It was a Glassport barbershop. Everybody was white. Yeah, I was just wondering, because... Yeah. Yeah, no, this was completely inappropriate use of the N-word. Yes. Yes.

[00:29:52] What... But you said in the beginning of this story, it was one week after the Super Bowl wars, who... Ray Lewis allegedly killed a man. Well, you need to... I don't... Okay. So, Ray Lewis played middle linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens. There was a Super Bowl in Atlanta. I can't remember which one it was. But... It had to have been... I think it was 2000. Okay.

[00:30:25] And... And... Allegedly, he was leaving a party. Something happened. And a man was knifed to death. Oh, wow. Now, allegedly, Ray Lewis was wearing a white suit... Oh. ...that was covered in blood as he was getting in his limo. Wow. He arrived at the hotel in just his underwear. Oh.

[00:30:56] The evidence has been... Disposed of. Disposed of. Yeah. Somewhere along the line. Right. So, he ended up... He ended up being arraigned. He went to jail. And he was found guilty of... Not disregarded.

[00:31:26] Getting in the way of justice, essentially. I can't remember what the terminology is. But he was like... Disruption of justice or something. I guess it was something like that. But, like... And even now, I think he was found... I think he was later acquitted. But it was like that thing of, like... He clearly killed somebody. Yeah. And people covered up for it. And he gets away with murder. He's tried for something totally different. Right. And...

[00:31:58] So, like, you know... It's huge news. Yeah. Because it's Ray Lewis, who was, like, a big star at the time. Right. And... Yeah, like, the next year, the Ravens go on to win the Super Bowl. Oh. Which is, like... Pissed a lot of people off. But not just because of me. Because I hate the Ravens. But it's like... This motherfucker's MVP of the Super Bowl? Yeah. Really? Right. You know? So... But, like, at that time... Like, it was, like, one week after the incident. And I've got a...

[00:32:28] A straight razor to my throat, essentially. Right. Like, so what do you think of... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I am not an ally today. No. Not at all. No, sir. No, sir. No, sir. Okay. Thank you for... Sure. Explaining that. But, like... I am just curious. Because, again, like, I understand, like, I am a slob.

[00:32:55] Like, getting my hair cut once every six months is ridiculous. Like, I should be getting a... I should probably get a cut once every two or three months. Like, that would probably be... Like, to me, that seems reasonable. When was the last time you had a cut? I don't even fucking remember. I want to know if I don't. I don't remember.

[00:33:26] That's funny. Like, my plan is, like, not to get a cut until September. Yeah. Like, right before Ian's wedding. Wow. You know. So you don't have to get it done twice. Yeah. Yeah. That's $40 instead of $20 out of my pocket. Yeah. But... But, like, it's like... It is. It's a thing of, like... And I understand this. Again, I am... I'm not saying I am right by any stretch of the imagination. But, like, if I got an $80 haircut...

[00:33:57] Like... I would not be going back for six months. No. Like, you know, like, I can't imagine... Like, people spending, like, $80, like, every ten days. Well, how much was it at the barber? I think at the time it was $30. Okay. Like, fire a call. Because I got a shave. That's the thing I never... Like, if I go to... If I go to Great Clips, I'm just getting a haircut. I never get a shave. It's just... I don't know they offer that. They do. And it's also... Like, I've thought about going... There's a place called Sports Clips.

[00:34:27] And they offer, like, the hot towel and everything. I'm like, that shit's wasted on me. You ever try it? I had a hot towel on my face before, yeah. I mean... It feels nice. No, not really. It feels humid. Well, once you pour it away, it just opens it up. Nah. Hmm. But, like, people ask me, like... Because I'm balding. You know, I can't deny that. I'm, you know...

[00:34:54] I'm definitely very, very thin on top. How often did you get your hair cut when you actually went to work? Like, the office? Once every six months. Oh. Yeah, going to the office was not incentive to get my hair cut. Yeah, I didn't. I was... I would have probably bet money that's what you were going to say. But I just wanted to hear it. Yeah. Like, I mean, I... There was a three-year stretch in the 90s. I didn't get my hair cut at all. Well, that's the 90s. Yeah.

[00:35:24] Nobody was getting their hair cut back in. And my bangs started at my chin. You know? That was... Nobody was getting their hair cut back in. Yeah. But... Like, I'm just curious. Like, if you are somebody who does spend good money on a haircut... And gets it done frequently... Mm-hmm. Like, what is your motivation to do that? Yeah. Like, is it... Because I think that's the thing.

[00:35:52] Like, I'm at a point where I have no vanity. Yeah. We know. Yeah. But I don't. Like, I'm somebody who, like... And, like, I let my beard grow out because I'm just too lazy to shave. Yeah. And I reach a point where it's like, fuck, it's annoying. I'm going to shave it down. And then I let it go for three weeks. And it's like people ask me, like, well, you're going bald. Why don't you just shave your head? Well, because that's a whole other level of commitment. Like... Yeah. You've got to stay on that. You just can't let it grow back out again. Yeah.

[00:36:22] And that's what I would be doing. I'd be like, oh, fuck. You know, three weeks out and I've got to shave it again. Like, it's... That is too much of a hassle that I don't want to deal with. Right. And then on top of it, like, you're supposed to, like, you know, put stuff on your head then. Yeah. I don't want to do that. Yeah. You know. Yeah, I can't see you doing that. I'm not... I don't use, like, hand lotion. You know, hand lotion. No. Or skin lotion. Nope. Like, you know, I... You're very ashy.

[00:36:52] Yeah, I would be very ashy. Yes. Like, it's that thing of, like, you know... I'm the type of guy who buys, like, the Suave 3-in-1 soap, shampoo, and conditioner. You know. I don't need three different bottles. I just get it all in one. You do. Yeah, I know that yours is in there. You know. I know, like... You know, I hear all the time, like, well, you're supposed to, like, with... You know... You get, like, that beard dandruff. Well, all you should be putting...

[00:37:22] Using beard oil. Like, fuck that. I ain't got time for beard oil. Mm-hmm. You know. Yeah, but there is a certain point where... You have to take care of yourself no matter what it is. You know? You meet the bare minimum. Okay, but... You have to take care of your body. You can't just say, fuck it, I'm too lazy. What is it? When's the day come where you're, like, taking a poop? Fuck it, I don't need to wipe. It's too much work. No, that's...

[00:37:51] I mean, it's a lot of work, but sometimes... But that's the work you have to do. But, I mean... Yeah, I learned... You have to take care of yourself, man. We're getting old. And I'm starting to look it. People aren't guessing that I'm in my 30s anymore. Oh, boo-hoo. No, but I'm saying you do. You have to have a certain level of pride. Well, there's a difference between pride...

[00:38:18] Like, I understand, like, I have to take a shower every day in order to function in society. Even if that society is just in this house. I can't walk around stinky. No. You know, I put on deodorant every day. Because it can't be stinky. We appreciate that. Yeah. Like, I understand, like, that, but that's the bare minimum. Well, clean clothes. Oh, yeah. I mean, I... You got holes in them. They don't sag. You know?

[00:38:48] At some point, you've got to upgrade. You know? You wait... Shit don't last forever. You run that shit until you can't run it no more. No. That is not how... Ugh. I'm not gonna get into this. Wow. Like, I talked about it a couple weeks ago. I bought new socks. Because I needed new socks. I was very excited for you. Yeah. But, like...

[00:39:16] And new socks feel amazing. But, like, to me, like, the reason they feel amazing is because, like, I buy new socks once every two or three years. Yeah. It should be way sooner. Huh? It should be way sooner. No! That's, like, your theory. I only need seven pairs of underwear because on the seventh day I wash. You have to have a couple extra spares. What if you get sick? What if one rips? Unexpectingly.

[00:39:45] Well, then you gotta go buy new underwear. Have them. It doesn't hurt to have a few extra pairs of underwear. Okay. Agreed. That's the right. I got eight, by the way. I have eight pairs of underwear. Okay. Well, you should have at least ten days of socks now. Yeah. It's very concerning because that box I keep my socks in is full. Because I bought a 12-pack. Oh. I'm down to 11. I lost.

[00:40:14] I lost a pair. Oh, boy. Yeah. What else was on that list? I mean, it was like, you know, like, I wish I could remember. It was like, smell good. Dress a certain way. Like, you know, it was like a lot of bullshit. I was just like, nah, no.

[00:40:39] Don't you remember the episode of The Office where Jan had a woman's day and she had, like, in the conference room all the women? And she was going down through, like, what they advised them to be if they want to be successful. Yeah. And she's always like, dress for, not for the job you have, but for the job you want. Yeah.

[00:41:03] And it cuts to Angela and she goes, apparently Jan is aspiring to be a whore. Yeah. Yeah. I always thought it was hysterical. Sorry. But, I mean. Yeah. Going along with, you know, dress a certain way. Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want. Yeah. I want to be Batman.

[00:41:33] Right. Should we be able to walk around like that? Yeah. People take it literally. Yeah. Yeah. But, again, I want to clarify here. I am not saying my way is right. I understand I'm not right. No, you're not. But I also think, like, the other way that they're talking, at least in this post, is an extreme that's like, really? The haircut is a little extreme.

[00:42:04] But I don't know. I don't know. People have jobs where they're expected to look a certain way. You know? Maybe they have to. And they get paid big bucks. Who knows? They can make the money to pay $80 a week. Right. I get that. It's just, it's like, it's surprising to me that, like, it surprised me there's such a thing as an $80 haircut. I don't know. I've seen over $100 haircuts.

[00:42:32] Like, I just, that doesn't even register in my brain. Well, if, like, I would go and get my cut hair dyed, cut, and styled, it would be way over $100. That just doesn't register. But it's a thing. I get that. I understand it's a thing. It just, it's like, I can't imagine.

[00:42:58] Oh, and don't forget, I would have to have my hair washed and shampoo, or wash shampoo, same thing. Shampooing conditions, excuse me. Shampooing conditions, dry, dried, and all that, too. That would come all with it. It's like, I washed my, I washed my hair before I came to the. If you go to a salon where I like to go. Yeah. Which I have not lately, because it's pricey. And the lady moved again. I don't know where she went. My favorite one. Yeah.

[00:43:26] Anyways, I wouldn't pay that if it was all of that. But I would not do it weekly. Yeah. You know, I had an aunt who went to the hairdresser once a week to get her hair done, and she never got it wet or washed it in a week. I couldn't imagine going a whole week without washing my hair. No, neither could I. Especially where I work. I keep thinking that's Sabine over there, and it's the box.

[00:43:56] Yeah. It's trying to be crazy. Yeah, so let me know, like, you know, how often do you eat your hair cut? And what do you pay for that haircut? I'm curious. I'm legitimately curious what. Yeah. Because it's that thing, like, I never really think of. Like, you know. And then this kind of came up, and I'm like, wow, that's crazy to me. Mm-hmm. Well, because you don't pamper yourself. I don't. I am not. You do the bare minimum.

[00:44:25] You said that. I do. No. I am not one to pamper myself at all. Why? You do what's necessary to keep people from calling, you know, guys in the white jackets on you. I do. Because when you stop taking care of yourself, you got to go. Yeah, I do. I do as little as possible. That's terrible.

[00:44:47] Like, if you're somebody who, like, you tell me, like, I like the way I feel after that $80 haircut every 10 days. Because it, you feel whatever. If that brings you happiness, I guess that's great. You know, like, I mean, good for you. I'm not going to tell you how you should, you know, gain your happiness. Exactly. Ain't none of our affair.

[00:45:17] Yeah. It does seem a little extreme to me. But, again, I don't know the circumstances on why. So, I wouldn't need to know that. To say, I don't want to say judge, but to say why I think that's crazy or not. I think some people do it just to maintain the look. You mean, like, vanity or something like that? Yeah. Like, you know, this is the expectation that I have this type of hairstyle at all times.

[00:45:49] And, you know, it attracts women or whatever. Like, you know, I think that was always part of my problem. I was like, I'm sure it was. Like, you know, because I do the bare minimum. I was not a fashionista. I could give a shit less about stuff like that. Like, you know, my track record with women was never very good. Right. You know. Yeah, women like clean. Men that take care of themselves often. Not just when it's convenient. Yeah.

[00:46:17] You just reach a point, you're like, fuck, I need a haircut. Yeah. But that, you know, I always don't want to make up for that with charm and personality. Okay. Because that's the first thing people look at anymore. It is. Yeah. Yeah. I know in my experience. I'm not.

[00:46:44] But, like, especially when I like, like, my beard is so gray. And, like, I remember, like, we had a training this week and we had to be on camera for the training. And I'm just looking at myself. And I'm like, is it really that white? Or is it just the light the way it's hitting it? Yeah. Because, like, it looked like I was just like, oof. You know?

[00:47:13] Is this how other people see me? You know? With that glare, yes. It looked like Santa Claus. But it's not. I don't think it is. No. But, I mean, it's like a dirty gray. Yeah. It's not like, I mean, when I'm looking at myself on camera there, I was like, that is a bright white. You know, but it was. It was like. You were like. It's a bright white. Yeah. You know.

[00:47:42] But, I mean, who likes to see themselves on camera anyways? I hate that shit. But I'm looking at myself in the mirror. I'm like, no, it's dirty gray. It's still dirty gray. Yeah. You know. Dirty gray. Dirt. My hair is going grayer. Dirt. I noticed that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It sure is. What's there? Yeah, what's there? Yeah. You wear your hat a lot, so it's kind of hard to see that sometimes.

[00:48:12] I want. If I. See, here's the thing. If I was vain enough. And I'm not. I would go full. Come over? Yeah. Like the dude in that one movie. The. That in there. Is it that? Yeah. Yeah, I know. That was too long of a pause. I'm trying to think of his name. Christian Bale.

[00:48:42] Oh, okay. That Christian Bale movie. The one where he was like in heavy makeup and like. It had Christian Bale and it had a. Amy Adams and. Like a whole crew of people, but. He was playing like he had the belly and everything, but. He was like doing that full. Like putting stuff underneath there and spraying it down and combing it over. Like he worked like an hour on that hair. To like. Yeah, I know what movie you're talking about. Yeah.

[00:49:14] Gotta keep talking. I gotta. I gotta remember this movie because as soon as you said Amy Adams, I'm like, oh yeah, I know that movie. I don't think I ever watched it though. Yeah. I'll find it. Oh, it's a great movie, but like at the beginning of the movie, it's like him like doing his comb over. Right. And you're just like. And I'm like, that's going to be me someday. I'm going to have to do that. Yeah. Well, he doesn't do that real life. No. Thank goodness.

[00:49:43] Still, that's. That's just a level of dedication. American hustle. American hustle. Yeah. That's a great movie. I did see that. Yeah. I think we watched it together. Yeah. I did see that. Yeah. Yeah. As soon as I saw the rest of the crew, I was like, oh yeah. Yeah. For Lawrence and Bradley Cooper. Yeah. Yep. Maybe, but.

[00:50:11] I would probably advise you every day to stop it. I would hope Brittany would step in and be like, stop that, Sean, please. We're scaring the little ones. It's like, if you're wearing the glasses. I just don't have that level of dedication. Obviously. Yeah. No, you don't. That level of dedication. Because that's what it would take. Like to pull that off. Like to do that every fucking day.

[00:50:38] Like the level of dedication, you have to have to first grow off the side of your head that long. Yeah. And then like work it like that. And then like everything that he was doing like with the spray. And I'm like, oh, that's just. That's way too much fucking work. It is. You know. Just. Let it go. Yeah. Let them go. Let all those little hairs go. Yeah, that's what I've done. Oh, don't. Don't worry.

[00:51:07] I mean, I noticed I would have to dye my hair more often. I don't know. It's like. Just. I dye it a couple weeks later. Gray is back. Yeah, because you're old. Yeah. I had to break it to you. Keep pushing. I keep trying to push back time. I don't care. But I can't be dying my hair every two weeks either. Yeah. So I have to let it go until it's time to dye it again. It annoys the hell out of me.

[00:51:37] I guess I'm just for men for myself. Work that in my seat. Wait, we'll get you some hair plugs. Yeah. You can be like Tobias. Yeah. That got disgusting. His hair. Yeah. That. It did. It started to gross me out that storyline. I'm not going to lie. Especially when he was in the wheelchair.

[00:52:08] He's bleeding. Yeah. What the hell? Just have him remove Tobias. Yeah. Exactly. And then wasn't. Didn't he have that going on whenever he was playing the magic trick with being in the cage in the air and the bird? I can't remember. I'm pretty sure because. I remember the feathers on. They tried having the telethon for him. The charity fundraiser. Yeah. And people found out he just had to have the hair plugs removed. Yeah. Taking back their money. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:52:38] That was fun. Yeah. Good times. Good stuff. It is good stuff. Yeah. Tobias. Fewk. Fewk. Yeah. Yeah. That was a fun show for the first couple seasons. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:53:07] I think season four is when it started going downhill for me. Well, it was the first one with Netflix. Was that season four? Yeah. Yeah. That was the one like they couldn't all get together because their schedules to like it's all cut funny and weird. Yeah. And it's like individual stories. Yeah. They're not together. Yeah. Yeah. So you're like seeing a lot of repetition is what you're seeing. Like somebody did a super cut of that season.

[00:53:37] So it was all like one flowing storyline. I think that's the next season they did that. No. Yeah. There was a season where they released that. I don't know. Maybe Netflix released it. Yeah. But they did a fifth season to like wrap up the show. Right. That wasn't very good either. But it was better than the previous season. Right. It was the whole thing when they were in the peace tent or the pipe tent or. Yeah. They were trying to buy it.

[00:54:05] Like because the father was trying to buy the land so he could build the wall for Trump. And he had his brother involved. Yeah. Yeah. It just. It just went downhill. And then the Michael's in college with his kid. Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. That was weird. It was. You know that. Real life that shit ain't happening. The blue wasn't.

[00:54:34] Family was not carrying any. The funny. Okay. I'm going to. What is your favorite scene in any of it? Because there is just one scene that if I think of Arrested Development, this scene comes to my mind. So you tell me yours. Oh, the one that always. Like if I think of Arrested Development, the one I always think of is when they're. When. The mother. She's like. Here's $20. Go see a Star Wars. That's a good one. Yeah.

[00:55:04] Like anytime I think. That's the first thing I think of is go see a Star Wars. Yeah. Yeah. Mine is whenever. She's deciding to sell the cabin and she tells Michael nobody gives a crap on that dusty old crap trap. And he's looking at her and he's like. Oh, you mean the cabin? Oh, you mean the cabin? Yeah. Because I think they were. She was talking about having a date or something. Yeah. On a date.

[00:55:34] Yeah. And he's like. Oh, you mean the cabin? Dusty old crap trap. Yeah. So she called it and he was like. Hmm. She doesn't even catch it. She's like. Goes on. I always think of that scene. The look on his face. Yeah. Until he realizes the cabin. Or I mean the running joke. Of Tobias always saying something completely inappropriate.

[00:56:06] And then he'll be like. There's gotta be a better way to say that. And then he recorded himself. Yeah. And he's listening to it. Well, there's. I don't hear anything wrong with that. Can I put a banger in your mouth? Yeah. That's what he had on it. He's like. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Give you a banger in your. Can I be like. Oh, I call it sausage. Can I put a sausage in your mouth? Not any better. He'd be like. I would love to help you, Michael. But I just blew myself. Yeah.

[00:56:37] And he's like. There's a better way to say that. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. That was always funny. Three. Two. One. The show has begun. I blew myself for no reason. Yet again. Poor Mr. Never Nude. Oh. Oh. And don't forget about Joe. Oh, yeah. That moron. Oh. I get him every time I see him. Like. Yeah.

[00:57:07] Brian. Brian Danielson's coming to the ring. They're playing the final countdown. And all I see in my head is Joe Bluth dancing around doing his magic trick. With the sword in it. Yeah. Oh, my God. Pulling things out from his pockets. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. There's so many good moments. But I will always bet. Rusty old claptrap.

[00:57:36] That show was fucking brilliant. Yeah. It was. But to me, only the first three. Just the first three. Yeah. I can't. It's just. It's too much after that. It goes off the rails, I think. It does. It was like whoever, like, they got doing the show at that point didn't quite get the show.

[00:58:06] No. No. There was just so many good one-liners. Yeah. Excuse me. Mr. B. Yeah. Mr. S. Mr. S. Yeah. Mr. S. Who's Mr. B? Oh, you got it. Mr. S. We're missing that for the bunny. Right. Yeah. Mr. B. Mr. B.

[00:58:36] Yeah. Bunny Rabbit. Yeah. I haven't thought about him and her. Him? Yeah. Was it him? I believe it was a him, yeah. In a while. Yeah. If you've never seen Arrested Development, I absolutely recommend at least the first three. Yeah. Hmm. I'm re-watching Parks and Rec right now. That's just comfort food. Ron Swanson just, it's the one where Tammy Wong comes in. This is the episode I'm on.

[00:59:05] Tammy Wong comes back and is auditing all his files and made him shave. And he's all, oh, Leslie, he just don't understand. You know, he's like, yeah. Yeah. I'm weird now. And she's like, what have you done with our Ron Swanson? I don't know. With Tammy too, when he hooks up with Tammy too. And it's like, yeah. Ron, what happened to your mustache? Yeah. It got rubbed off because of friction.

[00:59:35] Or when she's like, is that a pushpin in your forehead? Yeah. Just keep going. Just keep going. Yeah. Oh. And then he goes into the camera. My first ex-wife's name is Tammy. My second ex-name is Tammy. My mother's name was Tamara. But she went by Tammy. Yeah.

[01:00:03] I can't remember what he said after that because I lost my shit when he said that. Yeah. When they were having the drink off for Ron and Leslie's like, Ron's like, Leslie, you should not do this. She took one shot and was like, oh my God. I can't even believe she got that far. Yeah. That was pure, pure alcohol.

[01:00:33] Yeah. That bottle was crystal clear when she sat on that table. That was pure alcohol. I love nowadays. You get these kids on the TikTok and they're like, Gen X talks about how volatile the stuff that they drank was. I think they're wrong. They're pulling out like Everclear. Oh, yeah.

[01:01:01] And this kid, he like has a shot glass. He's like, I'm just going to take it straight Everclear. Like, the Gen X people are like, don't do this. Don't do that. You're... And the kid takes the shot. It goes in his mouth. He's immediately like... Like, it just like comes right back out. What is this? I probably would have did the same thing. And then another kid, he's doing Mad Dog. Oh.

[01:01:29] He's like, you know, the blue raspberry. Oh, God. Yeah. He's like, just like, I'm corking it and like, just taking it straight to the head. Like, drinking it right down. Wow. Like, oh, this is delicious. And like, you know, the next video, he's like, I've made a terrible mistake. Yeah. Yeah. Because you went through the seven stages of Mad Dog. Seven stages. You know. And that final one was you in front of the porcelain god, swearing you'll never do this again. That's called acceptance.

[01:02:00] Yeah. My God. Mad Dog. Wow. Does this shit still exist? Yeah. I've upgraded from the bottom shelf in a little bit. It's the thing. These kids are buying it. Like, I'm fortunate I didn't have to go through that phase. Because I didn't start drinking until after I graduated high school.

[01:02:27] And by that point, I had friends who had their own apartments. And so, like, you know, get a case of Coors Light. And like, I was not that kid in like a field somewhere passed out because I drank, you know, a fifth of Mad Dog for some ungodly reason. Right. I got to skip that step, thank God. Yeah. So, like, I was drinking Coors Light and Bud. And... You're shaking your head at me like...

[01:02:56] You used to make fun of me for drinking Coors Light, so... Yeah. I was 18 getting started. That was like, you know, drinking formula as a baby. Yeah. Because you couldn't get drunk off it. Well, I did reach a point where, like, I killed three pitchers of Coors Light and did not feel anything. But I was like, I still feel okay. There's a problem. What was it you thought? That's when I switched to Bud and then switched to...

[01:03:24] From Budweiser, I switched to Rolling Rock. That's what I settled on for a very long time until Budweiser bought it. Then I switched to Yingling. Hmm. Hmm. Yingling. And Moosehead for special occasions. First thing a drunk person says is, I'm not drunk. I drove home just fine that night. I have plenty of recollection of that evening.

[01:03:55] Mm-hmm. Like, it's just that thing of, like... I mean, you've encountered, like, you just... The tolerance to Coors Light got built up to a point where it was. It was, like, drinking fucking water. Yeah. Which is why I made fun of you for drinking it, because I was like... Oh, I know I have a low tolerance for alcohol. Yeah. I know it. Yeah, my tolerance for alcohol is very... It always has been, though. Right.

[01:04:24] But, man, I went through the phase where I was, you know... Hey, give me a whiskey and tonic. I never had that phase. I did, because it was, like... It was cheap and fucked you up fast. I didn't like whiskey. I still don't. Yeah. A lot of people I know drink it. I'm like, no, I didn't. Because, you know, after a day, they want to do a shot with you. Yeah. I ain't drinking that shit. You drink that pussy shit. And I wasn't even drinking good whiskey. I was, you know... Give me, like, you know, bottom shelf whiskey. You know? Yeah.

[01:04:55] Well, back then, you had to. I was cheap. You didn't have to. I was cheap and trying to get fucked up. Yeah. That, and I always wanted... I didn't want to spend all my money on the alcohol. I wanted to have, you know, food and snacks and shit. Yeah. And something after you're done drinking the alcohol, because you're always thirsty as fuck. I can just hear, like, you know, people out there.

[01:05:19] Because there are people, and I understand, again, you're going to tell me I'm in the wrong, and I probably am. I'm like... That, that... At my age, if I was to drink again, you know, I should be, you know, looking for higher-end product. And I wouldn't. Like, I'd go right back to the bottom of the barrel. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because that's good enough for me. I'm not trying to enjoy it. I'm just trying to get fucked up. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:05:50] Yeah. Yeah. I don't drink to get fucked up anymore, because I stop before that shit happens. Right. Like, I started to feel dumb, like, I'm done. I do not want to have my ceiling spinning. I never want to have the dry heavies ever again in my life. Right. And I never, ever want to go to work with a hangover anymore. Right. I just, I can't function like that anymore. Whenever I'm hungover, I don't want to even open my eyes. You know? But that's why I think I'm an alcoholic.

[01:06:20] Because when I, when I want to drink, I want to drink to get fucked up. Yeah, see, not me. Like, what's the point? Yeah. Like, there is no, like, if you're going to serve me alcohol, I am drinking to get fucked up. Right. But, I mean, there's a level of drinking to feel good and have a good time, as opposed to I'm going to get fucked up to the point I black out and don't remember a goddamn thing. What's the point of drinking if you're not reaching that point? You can drink socially without getting there. No, you can't.

[01:06:48] And I generally like the flavor of alcohol, like, beer and white cloth and stuff like that. I enjoy the flavor of it. Yeah. A lot of people don't drink beer because they don't like the flavor of it. Right. Or they get sissy beers. Well, I can't drink beer right now anyways. Yeah. But, like, I'm just, yeah, I'm just drinking to get fucked up. You may be in alcoholics then. I, I, that's why I stopped. That's part of the reason.

[01:07:17] Because, like, when we would go out and, like, I'd like baby beers, I'd be pissed off. I'm like, fuck, what am I doing? That's why I stopped. Mm-hmm. Like, that was part of, like, I had stopped kind of, like, weaning myself back anyway. Mm-hmm. But, like, going out with you when we first started dating and, like, going to a bar and, like, I'm having, like, two beers in four hours. Mm-hmm. I was just, like, it doesn't work for me anymore. Yeah. You know?

[01:07:47] Yeah. The other side of it was I got tired of waking up and feeling like shit and, you know, everything else gets associated with drinking until you're blacked out drunk. Right. But, like, like, yeah, I probably am an alcoholic. I just never acknowledged it. Right. Was able to kind of take myself off of it without needing a 12-step program or something because it was just, what's the point? I could be spending my money on something else.

[01:08:17] Yeah, enjoying something way more. That's why sometimes I just, like, I haven't had anything today at all. Yeah. I was like, well, I'm going to spend that money on something else. Yeah. And I did. Yeah. I could just hear some people out there now, like, good God. That's why I drink Gatorade. Like, it's like, you know, that's why I drink milk with dinner.

[01:08:46] Yeah, but I also started drinking stuff with no sugar in it. Yeah. I think I can get enough sugar. Yeah. I don't drink it. If you look at some of these things, mine don't, but, like, look how much Gatorade has sugar in it. It's ridiculous. Total sugar is 21 grams. How many servings is in that bottle? 2.5. See? Yeah. That whole bottle. Per container is 48 grams of sugar. Yeah, exactly. You know how many grams of sugar is in mine?

[01:09:16] Zero. Yeah. One serving. I don't know. I like this. It actually tastes like tea. It's not like getting Gallagher's and shit. I do appreciate it, because this is the Fruit Punch Gatorade, and it does say it contains no fruit juice. Didn't think it did, friends. Didn't think it did. But these also have a zero sugar sweet one. Yeah. And it doesn't taste bad.

[01:09:46] Yeah, that's a lot of sugar. Yeah. So, add that to all the sugar you eat. That's a lot of fucking sugar. I agree. I'm not saying, again, I'm not well. No, no, I'm not preaching. I'm just saying, that's crazy. But I enjoy this a little bit. Like, they have been fine with that. Yeah. I didn't have to have alcohol. Yeah. At some point, you've got to stop drinking occasionally, not every day.

[01:10:18] Yeah. All right. Well, it's a, it's the partennial mailbag. Two? Yes. The big toe? The big toe, yeah. So, last week, I did, I did miss an email from our good friend, Tim.

[01:10:44] He states, Stern sucks now. I kept serious for a while, because on Tatooine, signals were tough to get for streaming. Artie Lang got his own radio show through DirecTV, and they would put on a four-hour show out as a podcast. When I could start downloading that, I figured, I found myself not listening to the series anymore and got rid of it.

[01:11:07] You can get it for around five bucks, and if you have a crap signal where you are, it could be worth it, as streaming music is impossible some places. He says, GTA is a good time. So, GTA? Grand Theft Auto V. Oh. Yeah. I can't play the GTA games, though, like, because you're a bad guy. You don't like being a bad guy? I don't. That is so weird.

[01:11:36] I just, I just mentioned that game to Brittany earlier, because I said, what's that game where you could jump out of a car and go beat up a prostitute and steal the pence money and drive away with it? She's like, GTA. I was like, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, you're just, you're a villain. You're committing crimes. You're like, it's the same reason I don't like mob movies. Like, there's nobody you can root for in a mob movie.

[01:12:04] Like, when I'm playing, like, if I play a game, like, I always have to be the good guy. I always have to be on the virtuous side. You know, like, it's a weird thing, I know. And there are games where you can play, like, you can play it dark. You can play it, you know, as a villain, in a way. You know, dark points or light points. Mass Effect does that.

[01:12:30] Mass Effect, you can make decisions based upon, are you choosing the path of the righteous or the path of the villainous? You know, either way, you're still trying to beat the game. Just, and most of the time, I would pick the path of the righteous. You sound like Hank Hill. When they made a video game out of him. Let me tell you right here, right now. Bobby, you're an idiot. Oh my God.

[01:13:00] You remember when they made a video game, him? Vaguely. Propane, propane salesman. Yeah. And when he was okay with it, the guy grew and he started, like, blowing shit up and he's like, this is terrible. I will support propane and propane accessories, but I will not support this. That does not sound like Hank Hill. It does. That's Clinton. I go Clinton when I try to do Hank Hill. That is not even, yeah.

[01:13:28] That's Beavis and Butthead, Hank Hill. My fellow Americans. Oh my God. I did not have sexual relations with that young woman. Go back to your email. Okay. So, Super Thad writes in, Ian, wrong again. It was a microburst.

[01:13:56] There is no reason for Kennywood to dismiss a tornado. We were discussing, we were discussing, like, the odd weather we had last week and the violent storm and stuff. And we were talking about the microburst, quote unquote, that hit Kennywood all those years ago. You remember that? Yeah. I lived in Munho when that happened. Yeah. Because it tore up trees from in front of the library and they said it was a microburst. And I said a microburst doesn't rip trees out of the ground and remove them to another location.

[01:14:27] So, you also believe, like many Pittsburghers, that that was not a microburst, it was a tornado. Yeah. Okay. Thad, of course, the corporate shill that he is, is saying it was a microburst. And Kennywood has no reason to say otherwise. Okay. Got it. Well, I saw the damage it did. Yes. So. There you go. Boots on the ground.

[01:14:54] It also ripped all the shit off our front porch and took it down the street. I mean, the whole street went, she shifted. So. That was in front of Munho Library, too, in case anybody always said, don't want me to go look up history. Yeah. So, that quote unquote microburst that struck Kennywood. Oh, I remember that day vividly. Sure. It blew out our transformer behind our house.

[01:15:24] That seems to have enjoyed the Thunderbolts. That's really it. Not much to get into there. But we're glad to hear you're taking up the side of the corporation that you love so dearly in Kennywood Park. Yeah.

[01:15:54] And I'm sure that makes him happy. There's a little extra money in your check from them. Yeah. He gets the residuals. Yeah. He gets a little kickback. Not wrong with that. He gets the $1. He gets the $1. He gets the $1. He gets the $1. Well, you know. Don't knock it if you never tried it. Maybe Thad's one of those people who gets an $85 haircut every 10 days. I thought it was $80.

[01:16:24] Now it's $85. $80. Okay. $80 and $85. Whatever. $2. $20, $2. $21. Whatever it takes. And so that kickback money he gets from Kennywood for his positive reviews. Yeah. I'm sure that helps get that. Keep that. Haircut going. Yeah. Keeps that fade tight. Well, he gulps. So, you know, he's got to keep his hair to a certain standard. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's the whole thing.

[01:16:53] You know, the locker room talking such. Wouldn't want him talking shit on this bad haircut. Well, how does that explain the giant bush he has coming out of the shower? Oh, my God. I don't want to. I'm not responding anymore to this conversation. You got a nice haircut on top, but the giant bush with the baby egg in it.

[01:17:23] Well, maybe he needs to go see someone other than a barber. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anything you'd like to add to the proceedings? No. No, I'm good. Thank you, though, for having me on. Well, thank you for coming on. Ian was very busy this week and also deathly ill. So we hope, you know, he's able to recuperate and tell his tale of woe next week. Yes.

[01:17:52] Well, remember, there are a number of ways you can reach out and touch us. You can send us an email like Thad and Tim did this week. An email address is pittsburghnerd at yahoo.com. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter. You can find us on Facebook and Twitter. We're very, very easy to find. We are on a number of podcasting networks. You can find us on the Weeby Geeks Network and the Podbreed Network.

[01:18:18] Just give them a Google search and you'll find all the other great podcasts they have to offer. And lastly, I always want to thank you, dear listener, for taking the time to check us out each and every week. We can't thank you enough for your support. And on that note, the Dreamer has awakened. See ya.