Episode 292 - Underdogs and a homicidal mouse

[00:00:04] It's time to feel the rage. Welcome to Film Rage where we talk movies, in theaters, streaming and classic films as well. Directors and actors beware as you cannot hide from the rage. My name is Bryce and I'm part of the Film Rage crew which also includes Jim. Hey Jim. Hey. Hey. Hey. Bryce. And we got the merman and he's wearing a Las Vegas Golden Knights.

[00:00:32] We got back without being deported or shipped off to a prison. What's a Las Vegas Golden Knight? Is that like a... It's a hockey team Bryce. I went to a hockey game. Is it like a golden... Ice hockey? This was a free giveaway. Was it ice hockey or field hockey? It was ice hockey against the Oilers of Edmonton. The Edmonton Oilers. Who lost. So is like the Golden Knights kind of like a golden shower but that you would have to wear like... They're knights. Old... Like knights in the round table. You can hear? So do they... Guys with swords.

[00:01:02] So do they use the swords on the ice? Wouldn't that be a penalty? They do. There's a sword fight on the ice. Nice. Not during the game but... Oh. See that? I might watch. It's a free shirt. I had to wear it. Nice. Nothing wrong with a free shirt. I'm all for free shirts. So with the introductions out of the way. Let's rage on. Well... Well... Thanks for all being supported. If you love our independent podcast or even just like it a little bit why don't you...

[00:01:30] Subscribe. And share. And give us a 5 star rating on your listening platform. Or... Support us and join the Film Rage community by joining our membership at buymeacoffee.com forward slash Film Rage YYC. If you cannot commit to a membership... You can still go to that site... And buy us a movie rental and dare us to see... A terrible, terrible film. And we will... Promote the hell out of whoever you are. And give you...

[00:01:57] Unadulterated lovin'. Yum yum yum. As long as it played in the cinema anywhere in the world. It just had to play in one. That's it. And we'll watch it. Now... Let's get to Raging! What an amazing moment? Predict. What an amazing moment? Predict. Will he predict the page or will he predict the... Mondo?

[00:02:27] Will he tell us all what Jim and Bryce saw at the movies? Ooh. Better watch out kids cause he's back from Vegas. And he's got Golden Knight specials free. Swimmery, Swimmery, Swimmery, Swimmery, Swimmery. Swimmery, Swimmery, Swimmery. Swimmer all the way back from Vegas... Hearts, hearts, hearts. Ah. So many movies. You guys go to so many movies.

[00:02:56] Yep. It's too many... It's what we do. It's too many movies. It's what we do. Watch movies. Alright, The Big One this week was Minecraft. Minecraft! Live action of whatever that game is. To be honest, I don't really care what you guys think of it cause I don't like Jack Black. So I'm projecting my hatred and loathing of Jack Black to a double rage. All right.

[00:03:20] Then we got Freaky Tales, which, I don't know, did you both go to that one? Yes, we went to it together. Okay. It's the only movie we went to together. Well, it's got good old Pedro in it. So yeah, you like your Pedro. I do. Big Daddy. So I think Jim may have Mondo'd that. And because it's got all kinds of action in it, I think Bryce might not have. So maybe a man. Mmm. That's a pretty good guess.

[00:03:48] Uh, Screamboat from the producers of Terrifier 2 and 3. Duh, and twa. And who saw that one? Just Bryce, actually. Just Bryce. Sure did. Mondo. Wow. Wow. Because you like that Terrifier stuff. He does. I do like the Terrifier, although I didn't give them all Mondos. I don't believe you. You haven't given any of them. I don't think I've given any of them Mondos. Luckiest man in America. But I've enjoyed them all. About the game show.

[00:04:17] I know I liked it. Uh, I don't think you guys loved it. I'm sure you're entertained. Let's go double man. Double man it is. And we got William Tell. How about William Tell? You know, the guy who shot the arrow? Yes. After the apple. Yeah. Apple guy. Sounds like a good three hour epic to me. Yeah. Uh, you both saw that one? Yes. Sure did. Double Rage. Because it's a period piece. It looks slow as shit.

[00:04:47] You know, Bryce likes his period pieces. I don't like my period pieces. You love period pieces. In fact, it's your favorite thing. I don't love anything. I like good movies. I don't care when they were set. Yeah. Say that. I do say that. Not very many sci-fi movies you like. I feel that's not true. Yeah, I think that's also not true. You both feel incorrectly. All right. Talk about Jack Black. I can feel anything I want. All right. Uh, a Minecraft movie. So. Is that what this was called?

[00:05:16] A Minecraft movie? Yes. I don't even know. Minecraft, reimagining? I don't know. So, if y'all remember last week. Y'all? Y'all. Well, I discussed that there are rules when dealing with film. Well, this breaks all the rules of film. Like, literally every rule when dealing with video game movies. I mean, I've never played Minecraft. Never wanted to.

[00:05:44] And when this trailer came out, I said that this was going to be the stupidest film that has ever been made. And in that, I was absolutely correct. This was ridiculously stupid. So stupid, it also happened to be ridiculously, hilariously funny. It was very funny. I mean, the acting was over-the-top bad acting by mostly just the two major stars in this. But the writing was clever.

[00:06:14] And seeing Jack Black and Jason Momoa riff off each other for an hour and a half was so much fun. The backstories of the characters are done well and wasn't like most of these types of films. The characters developed, you know, fairly quickly and concise, which, and they actually made sense, which in a lot of video game movies, they're all just horrible. And as much as, you know, there had never been a video game movie that had even remotely been

[00:06:43] good, in my opinion, was this a rule? I kept asking myself. It was before this movie came out. I learned lately that rules are made to be broken. And this is ridiculously ridiculous from moment one of this movie where Steve and Gargar and Henry and Dennis and Natalie and Don, where our team in this film, which did what no other

[00:07:11] video game movie has ever done, had put together a fun film, which I think anyone who wants to immerse themselves in a Minecraft world of crazy fun can easily get there. Where we even got songs performed by none other than Tenacious D. Well, at least it seemed that way. I do wish that Kyle Gass was there, I have to admit. Maybe he was one of the animated characters? I'm not sure.

[00:07:41] So, musical comedy buddy animated video game movie, which would normally make a hard rage in the world of Jim on any of those genres individually. Apparently, they're no longer rules. We only live by guidelines now. I totally got what they were doing in this movie. And also, probably the first time I have seen a film that was like, I went and saw this in IMAX.

[00:08:09] The IMAX cinema was half full of people. And at the end of it, it got a standing ovation at the end of this movie. I'm glad I saw this in IMAX. The visuals in this were really fun. And I'm glad I saw it. This film was funny. And it was a totally ridiculous man. I was laughing so hard at how stupid it was. Because a lot of the movie was very adult humor. That also had the stupidest type of humor. And I was apparently in that mood.

[00:08:38] Because I definitely recommend it for silly, wacky, ridiculous, fun time. And you probably have noticed how many times I've said the word ridiculous. Because this movie was so, so ridiculous. It's totally ridiculous. But it was fun. And I got stuff to unpack. But go ahead. What do you got? You know, Jim. What? This movie was ridiculous. It was totally ridiculous. Ridiculous. And I don't mean just a little.

[00:09:08] It was. It was very ridiculous. It's one of those movies where occasionally you're going to run into a movie where you can just see that the stars are having a really good time just being silly. Yeah. And this is one of those movies where they are just having a really good time being silly. Yeah. And it's infectious. The movie never dragged. It was a fun time. It looked okay.

[00:09:38] Yeah, it's Minecraft though, right? It's Minecraft though. So that's the thing. But yeah. I mean, Jack Black was great. Jason Momoa. The two of them together? Those two together were fantastic. And honestly, I don't think Jason Momoa has been any better than he was in this. And I'm serious when I say that. No, you really loved him. You gave the last Fast and Furious a cent. Yeah, I thought he was great in Fast and Furious. I thought he was better in this. Yeah. Like that's the thing. I think Jason Momoa has found his stride. Yeah.

[00:10:07] So Jason Momoa, when he's not just like straight on action and he kind of takes a little tangent, is extremely entertaining. He's very funny. Um, I mean, you know, it's not a great movie, obviously. But did I laugh? Hell yeah, I laughed. You had a good time. Did I have a good time? Hell yeah, I had a good time. But the story, it makes sense. Like everything about the story makes sense. Now, when you talk to people that play Minecraft, obviously they don't.

[00:10:37] It's if you know, everybody that's super into a video game when they bring out a video game movie, you're going to have the people that kind of criticize it and say, well, they didn't have this in it. They didn't have that in it. And sometimes it's good to go into a movie like this not knowing anything about the video game, such as myself. Because I didn't know anything. But yeah, I mean, it's a movie that you would expect from Jared Hess. I mean, he's the guy that brought us Nacho Libre. And he's the guy that brought us Napoleon Dynamite.

[00:11:05] And if he was going to make a video game movie, I think he did it as well as you possibly could. Unfortunately, that's a tough task to make a video game movie anything but a rage. He managed to make a video game movie that's a meh. So good on you, Jared Hess. You done good, kid. So yeah, no, it's a meh, but a very entertaining meh. Yeah, no, totally. And by the way, I love Danielle Brooks. I just do.

[00:11:35] For me, it had two of our favorite New Zealanders in it. Rachel House and Jermaine Clement. Jermaine Clement's role is really small. Just super, super small. But, and how great was Jennifer Coolidge in this? Like anytime you get a Jennifer Coolidge sighting lady, it's just. I went through a phase of when I first came across Jennifer Coolidge,

[00:12:05] I'm like, oh, you got it funny. And then I went through a phase of I do not want to see this lady in anything. And now I'm back to. I want to see her in everything. She is freaking hilarious. She is so funny in this. The part that she plays in it is just, it's ridiculous. And once again, the fun she's having in the role is infectious. And you just go along for the ride and you have a good time. It's so, oh my God. And her new boyfriend. Compared to her old boyfriend. She's so good in this.

[00:12:35] Oh my God. But how stupid was this? Oh, it was completely stupid. The acting is, Murray, the acting is definitely, it's so, their tongues are so far stuck into their cheek. Yeah. I don't, I can't see you actually liking this movie. I barely like Momoa. I definitely don't like Jack Black. Yeah. Especially when he's acting. I love Jack Black. Give me some Jack Black all day long. I love that he was singing in it too. Like, I mean. I hate that even more than his acting. What?

[00:13:04] Tenacious D is best. Tenacious D is one of the best comedy bands that I've ever lived. Okay, so, but the star of the show was Dennis, right? Am I right or am I right? Sure. He's the wolf. Sure. Dennis was very good. Does he talk? No. That would be stupid. Then he's my favorite character. There you go. Wolves don't talk, Murray. Well, pigs talked in this movie.

[00:13:32] It's a video game movie and it's probably half animated. So yeah, maybe they talk. It's more like 90% animated. Mm-hmm. Tell there's no rules in animation. Yeah, there isn't. And that's what made this also. Like it's a real wolf. This made it. That's also made. Well, it's all the Minecraft stuff too, right? Like it's the block shapes. I never got that. Yeah. Well, I don't. I've never played the game, so I don't know. I've seen it.

[00:13:56] I mean, making a movie on Minecraft, I mean, it has just every license to just be awful. And you almost lower your bar going into it, but you didn't even have to. It was just fun. I suggest everybody see this in IMAX. Really? Oh yeah, totally. I think. Okay. I've said this once. I've said it before. I saw it in Laser Ultra. They created IMAX for a reason. And if a film is going to come out in IMAX, you should see it in IMAX. Because that's except 3D IMAX.

[00:14:25] You didn't see it in Screen X? No. I'm kind of now glad I didn't. Screen X is poopy. It's the poop. All right. Okay. So our next film we saw is called Freaky Tales. Freaky Tales. Psychotropics. The Lost Boys.

[00:14:48] And green electrified bolts of lightning ties everything and everyone together in a group of short films where all the characters are somewhat connected. So in our first act, we have romance Nazi stomping style where we meet a young couple

[00:15:12] who hang out at this cool punk bar, but they keep getting crashed by a group of Nazis. Apparently, these Nazis picked the wrong bunch of punk pacifists as our underdogs. They get zapped with magical electric green goo bolts and kick some Nazi dicks. It happened, Murray.

[00:15:41] That's act one. Act two. Ice cream ladies who stomp a pig cop by schooling him on ice cream etiquette and take it to a wrap-off and crush the man rapper who thought he was super. Then they flew away. So he was not super fly, but they were.

[00:16:09] But then when they flew away, Murray, they flew away in a green electrical zapped city bus. Rapper was too short, by the way. Yeah. In case you needed to know that. She was an actual rapper. She gets to be on drugs and watches. So many of these characters are actual characters. Yeah. They're all real people. This is another. Yeah. Go ahead. It's a mix mash. It is a mix mash. Book three or act three, Murray. Yes. Is our man, Pedro Pascal.

[00:16:39] Pedro. That's Clint. Who gets schooled. There's a lot of schooling going on in this. By what I've thought of lately in the last 10 or 12 movies is kind of like the captain of Maville, Tom Hanks. Yes. Because Tom Hanks schools Pedro Pascal on the greatest underdog films of all times as he

[00:17:02] works in a video store and gets redemption from being a gangster thug after his wife is murdered by showing acts of kindness and saving his baby. That was act three. There you go. Act four is evil, evil racism cop tied to the set to the previously spoken for Nazis or should

[00:17:28] I say the dad of the Nazis is also a thief who fucks with the wrong warrior basketball star who gets killed, build all over his house full of asshole racists with bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody results. Sleepy's revenge. To possibly the greatest mixtape that has ever been made and which traded for, I want to

[00:17:56] say thousand, thousand dollar courtside tickets. Yes. Now of all these four stories that are told, they're told with humor and smart. The wit is so smart and yet 80s fun dialogue where each story actually gets better as each one unfolds and really ties all these stories into a cohesive story of revenge porn against Nazi racists.

[00:18:23] This was so, when I say so much fun, this was so much fun and I love this mix of metal and hip hop and pop and rock and the soundtrack that when you hear about this mixtape. It shouldn't work at all. But this movie and everything made of this freaky tales, sci-fi comedy was so unbelievably fun. This was a super mondo.

[00:18:51] This has got so far. This is in my top 10 films of this year. I had so much fun as much as I had fun in Minecraft. I had so much more fun than this. This would be a movie that you would actually like Marie. This would be one you should see. Yeah, it's a, this is a, this is a lot of fun. It's a, yeah, as you say, it's like a four part anthology movie that where everything's kind of tied together, maybe a little flimsily to be honest, but it doesn't matter because it's all so much fun. Yeah.

[00:19:22] You know, you open up with this, with some stomping of Nazi skinheads and you close it out with, you know, the same thing. So, you know, how can you, how can you go wrong? But in the middle, you get some battle rapping, you get, you get some crooked cops, you get, you know, Clint with his, his last job is as the big thug. Of course, you know where that's going. And I, I'm, one of my favorite scenes is where he buys that, that mixtape.

[00:19:50] I can't get that out of my head where the kids, the kids like reading off, you know, what's on the tape. It's just like, what? Metallica? It's got rap and it's got, you know, metal and it's, it's got everything on it. It's got some fricking sly in the family stone. I mean, it's got everything. And a parliament in it too. Like it's just. And, and I think maybe one of my favorite scenes is out of that.

[00:20:19] My two favorite scenes are out of that, that part of the anthology, actually. That's the third part where they kind of focus on Clint. And that scene with Hank in the, in the video store. My God. Is that like Tom Hanks was just gold. Absolute freaking gold in this. This is one of my favorite cameos like ever. Like it was just, and it was like, and it's an extended cameo. It's not like one of those. He's in, he's out. He was, it was good. Three, four minutes.

[00:20:50] He even closes the movie. Yeah. Kind of, right? Kind of. But, uh, and then man, once we get to that fourth chapter and sleepy Floyd starts kicking ass. And this is such a bizarre movie because every, like all these places that they're, they're at, these are actual places. The rapper in this is an actual rapper. Sleepy Floyd was the, was a star for the golden state warriors. And you know, this takes place on the night where he puts in 29 points in the fourth quarter

[00:21:18] against the LA Lakers to keep their playoff hopes alive. Like it absolutely happened. Yeah. Um, they called him, you know, sleepy. The, the announcer that night called said sleepy void Floyd is Superman. And that's kind of the Genesis of this movie because sleepy Floyd in this Superman in more than one way. Oh, he certainly is. So, and yeah. And when it becomes this ultra violent splatter fest in the last act, that is so much fun.

[00:21:46] It's, it's, it's like you go through this movie and you're getting payoffs the whole way, but then you get to the end and you get this extra special payoff that you weren't even expecting. And you're like, how can this movie get any better? And then it does. It is, there is not a wasted, like every part of this anthology is unique in a way. It has different characters every time that are come from different walks of life. And it's just a whole smash.

[00:22:16] It's a, it's a love letter to Oakland in the late eighties. And it, it was just so much fun. I absolutely adored this movie. Freaky tales is mondo. This is a movie that please go see. It deserves to be seen. You probably haven't seen a trailer for it in front of any movie you've watched. You haven't seen a commercial for it on any television. It needs some word of mouth because it is so damned entertaining.

[00:22:46] Please go see it. Yeah. Sleep, this, this freaky tales is mondo. There's just so much fun, man. Was this a good movie? Yep. So just so, you know, the directors of this was Anna Bowden and Ryan Fleck. Mm-hmm. Do we know what else they did by any chance? They did something.

[00:23:14] I did know this before, but they, they've been, they've been kind of wallowing in TV, but they made a. They did Captain Marvel. And they made Half Nelson with like. Gosling. Gosling way back when. Yep. So yeah, I mean, these guys know how to make a movie. Like that Half Nelson. Masters of the Air, which was still a pretty good film. Yeah. No, they've made some good stuff, but this is, this is the most entertaining thing that they've, they've made. Now, don't get me wrong. They've made some good movies, but there's just something about this movie. Like I love this movie.

[00:23:42] Like I will watch this movie again. I guarantee before the year's over. Yeah. This is what I would watch again for sure. Yeah. It's just so, in fact, it's a, it's a movie I'm going to be introducing people to. It's like, oh, you got to watch this because it just, it's so much fun. And it's an 80s movie, Murray. So yeah, it's an 80s movie. You'll be happy to know that the Lost Boys is the focal point of this film. So yeah, if it wasn't playing in a theater that I don't, I don't go into, I might've seen it with you guys. Damn. You and your rules. Yeah, well.

[00:24:12] You got to have guidelines now. We just learned that today. Today's the day we learn guidelines are meant to be lived and rules are meant to be broken. All right. Well, I guess you're up Captain Underpants because I didn't get to see this. There's nothing that, there's not a whole lot that needs to be said about Screamboat. So, I mean, you're, you're going in, you know, it's based on. Can I ask one question before you get into it? Sure.

[00:24:39] So does he do the scene from Steamboat Willie where he's whistling at the thing? Yes. Nice. Yeah. It's at one point he's, he's bouncing a little bit. Yeah. And he's whistling. I believe he's whistling. Now you're putting me on the spot. I saw this a whole like three days ago. I mean, that's like the big scene from Steamboat Willie. Yeah, it is. Again, something else. It ends up, it ends up being a little different because of the scale.

[00:25:06] And that's one of the problems I have with this movie is the scale of the, of the most. But. Cause he's like. Because he's only two feet tall. And so in Steamboat Willie, it looks okay. Cause he's actually can see over the wheel and everything. And you know, he's a, it looks a little different when you got. Exactly. When you got a giant boat, but I don't even know. There's no way that this, this giant boat actually has one of those type of steering wheels, but they got one in there just so they could put that in. And that's the thing about this movie.

[00:25:35] It knows who its audience is. It's not making any qualms about it. But people that don't want to see this aren't going to see this. They're going to avoid it like the plague. Good for them. People that do want to see this are going to find some enjoyment in it. It's worth watching for all the little Disney Easter eggs that they throw in. And there's dozens of them. And they're just little, little things here and there. And it's just all of a sudden, boom, there it is. So just watch for those.

[00:26:03] And that's almost a game worth, worth playing while you're watching this movie is just sit there and see if you can pick out all the Disney Easter eggs. I'm not going to spoil them. There, there are so many of them in here. It's ridiculous. And they're just enough so that they don't get sued, you know, but they're all there. And for that, it's a lot of fun. The kills are great. There's a little bit of money behind this. The kills are great. You have to just go into this.

[00:26:30] So knowing that this is a movie about a two foot murdering mouse. Now, what would, what'd you do with a two foot murdering mouse? I don't know. Step on it, kick it off the boat, throw it off the boat. But you know what? Of course that doesn't happen because we're in this, we're in this world. Yeah. And we don't care because we're having a good time. We're killing people that need, that deserve to be killed. There's splatter everywhere. There's feces everywhere.

[00:27:00] Nice. There's, there's pee everywhere. I mean, it's, there is fluid for days. Sounds like my movie. And it's a lot of fun. Now, it is got, as I say, the, there's a little problem every now and then. The mouse looks a little silly from now and then. One of my problems with it is you've got the dude that plays Art the Clown and what is his, yeah, as the mouse. From Terrifier? Yeah. From Terrifier.

[00:27:27] So you've got David Howard Thornton as Steamboat Willie in this. And you've put him under so much makeup that there's not an opportunity to use his facial expressions. Here's my major thing. That's what makes Art the Clown so good. Exactly. I think, I literally believe this could have been a mondo if they just would have made David Howard Thornton just this giant freaking mouse where you could actually see his, you just, you know, you don't,

[00:27:57] it doesn't matter. There are no rules in this movie. Yeah. So just make him a giant freaking mouse. Make it so that we can see his facial expressions because that's what makes Art the Clown so good is the face. Yep. And he is able to convey so much in that role and he's handcuffed in this role. And that's my major problem with the movie. But at the end of the day, it's a lot of fun. The gore's great. There's so much humor in it.

[00:28:25] And just play the game of finding all the Disney Easter eggs. And you're going to have a good time. It's a meh. It's absolutely a meh. Is it worth watching, meh? Yeah. If this is a movie you know you're going to hate, you're going to hate it. Don't watch it. Yeah. If you don't like terrifying. But it's good enough that if you're on the fence and you're like, I don't know if I want to watch it. Trust me. Watch it. You'll have a good time. All right. Yeah. It gets a meh because it was 100% meh. Yeah.

[00:28:56] Mickey meh. But yeah. Definitely watch it, Jim. You'll enjoy it. Totally. I'm so sad. So this is, again, another one of these things. Well, you know what? I'll bring this up later. All right. All right. My turn to talk. Yes. Go ahead. The Murr's bringing the joy. Jim and I went to see the luckiest man in America. Starring professional wrestler Paul Walter Hauser. Sure. Paul Walter Hauser. Yeah. He's a professional wrestler now? He's a professional wrestler now. Really? What?

[00:29:26] I am not kidding. Kid us not? I kid you not. All right. Well, Murray's talking. Look it up. He is in the squared circle. I think he wrestles for like TNA or something. All right. Let's hear what you think about. Luckiest man in America is about a con man from Ohio that manages to get onto the 80s game show Press Your Luck. Big bucks, no whammies. Where he goes on a winning streak never seen before.

[00:29:54] This seems unlikely until the producers discover he has memorized the patterns of the random board. All five of them. What? All five of them. Mm-hmm. So he did his research. The follow-up from this event led to major changes in both that show and all future game shows. This was a real thing, a real guy. I love game shows. I really, really love game shows more than anything else on TV.

[00:30:24] If I have a choice between a game show or a drama or a sitcom, even sports, I will pick a game show every time. Okay. So I am familiar with this story of this film. I knew about this going in. Yeah, you knew about this. I knew all about it because I saw a documentary about it. I have also seen a documentary about it. I have now too. In addition to that, as people may know, I worked in broadcast television for 20 years.

[00:30:50] So I love to watch the behind the scenes of how stuff gets made. I even attended a taping of a Tim Allen sitcom when I went to Hollywood with my mother. Oh, that's fascinating. That's too bad. Well, you couldn't get on Wheel of Fortune. Ah, well, there you go. So it's no surprise I would enjoy this film. Plus, you have one mesmerizing fat dude in Paul Walterhauser, who is always entertaining. Yep.

[00:31:18] It was so much fun to watch this ice cream man work the system, make the TV executives freak out and really piss off the other contestants. Ah, knowing how the story ends did not spoil the fun for me. After saying all that, it was still not a perfect film, but it was a very enjoyable high, high meh.

[00:31:42] On a side note, if anybody is interested, Michael Larson was given his $110K in winnings. Yep. Minus the taxes, of course. Mm-hmm. He blew nearly all of it in further get-rich-quick schemes. That's kind of the guy he is. Was pursued by U.S. authorities for additional fraud charges and died in 1999 in Florida of cancer. So not a happy ending for that lucky man. But yeah, I enjoyed it. It was good.

[00:32:12] Nice. All right. Well, the luckiest man in America. I always thought that was Donald Trump, but apparently not. All right. So as Murray's already alluded, Paul Walterhauser, the most method actor to ever act. I think there's not many actors that can play. Like, he... The fact that he got bumped out of our mesmerized list breaks my heart. Like... How did he get bumped out?

[00:32:42] I can't remember, but he got punted by somebody. Wow. And it really does break my heart. Oh, I think it's because it probably was in one of his stupid comedies. Yeah. Probably. Because he's so good when he's... When he's in a dramatic role. Yeah, when he's in a dramatic role. He just encapsulates. Like, he's all in. Oh, yeah. He's so method every time. Yeah. I'm convinced of this again from this portray that he does of this crazy dude. This guy is so mesmerizing in everything he does.

[00:33:10] Every time he's in a movie, I want to see it. Not because it will always be a great film, but because he alone is worth the price of admission. Always. Every single time. And I know we don't talk much about TV shows, but the TV show he did on Apple back a couple years ago, where he plays a serial killer. He's so fucking brilliant in it. And this film is no different.

[00:33:40] He's playing a man who has figured out, as Murray said, the five patterns of press your luck game. Yes, five! Nice. They thought that nobody else would be able to figure out these five patterns. Who could possibly do that? Yeah, nobody could. Ice Cream Man. Ice Cream Man can. The box of the HS tapes. Because he mixes all the love and makes the world taste good. Yeah, so he wins the most money that's ever been won to date on a game show. He drives up his money to over $100,000.

[00:34:08] The film has a great supporting cast. And as I did not know how this was going to end, because I never knew anything about it before I went to this, I did find it a little suspenseful. But let's face it. How suspenseful can you make a movie that is about a man that is winning a game show? Not very much. They try and add some additional plot points into the film.

[00:34:38] There's some shit behind the scenes. With his failing marriage and him being a failure at everything. But damn! He was so smart to figure out pretty quick this patterned game and the order of the tiles. So he couldn't have been that big of a loser if he could figure that out. Like, that's got to be pretty smart. The story, I felt, wasn't strong enough to make a whole movie out of. Maybe a short or a 60-minute doc.

[00:35:07] But really, you don't really know what was real. I didn't feel... I wasn't tracking it that I think this is everything that happened in it. And it wasn't. Yeah. So, I loved him. I actually liked the game Press Your Luck. I used to watch that when I was a kid. No whammies. Big bucks. Big bucks. No whammies. No whammies. But yeah, this was a man. I think if he wasn't in it, that's the question I have to ask myself. If he wasn't in it, would it be a man? Would it have been in a man?

[00:35:36] So that's a tough one for me because he's so in it. And he is the guy. He's the movie. So I'm feeling if they had someone else in this, I don't know if I would have enjoyed it as much as I did. I also love... But it's a man. I love Walton Goggins too. Oh yeah, Walton Goggins was so good in this. But yeah, luckiest man in America. By the way, Paul Walter Hauser wrestles for MLW, the Major League of Professional Wrestling. Never heard of it. Never heard of it. What?

[00:36:05] I'm sure it's not even on TV anyway. MLW, that's where Davey Boy Smith's kid was wrestling. And then he went to New Japan Wrestling and then he went back to them. Sure. Yeah, whatever. You guys talk about wrestling? I don't know as much as him. I barely know the main one. He knows more than he should be. Apparently I do. Not everybody. Nobody knows the Major League of Professional Wrestling. I don't know any wrestling. I know The Rock and John Cena. And I only know the wrestlers because I know they're actors. There you go. Anyways.

[00:36:36] So yeah, no, this whole movie is Paul Walter Hauser. It's on his back from the get-go, from the first scene. And he is absolutely mesmerizing as he always is. It's got a great supporting cast with Walton Goggins and David Strathern. Yeah, Strathern. Yeah, is so good as Bill Carruthers, one of the executive producers. Even Maisie Williams, she was good in it. She's good in everything that she's in, though. Yeah, she is.

[00:37:06] And the problem is that it was too long for such a simple story. And it stretched out by going to having him wander into the parking lot, him ending up on another television show, which never happened. I don't think that ever happened. Didn't seem organic. Didn't seem realistic at all. Johnny Knoxville. That took me out of it right there. But then we didn't get Johnny Knoxville. Yeah, I would have loved to have got it.

[00:37:33] If they could have written this so that it made sense, that would have been fantastic. Maybe he wanders on there and it's in between, like, at a commercial break and he has an interaction with Johnny. But there's no way Johnny Knoxville is inviting him on to sit on it and just sit there and stare blankly into the camera. That took me out of it. Still, Paul Walter Hauser is always worth watching. And I'm with you.

[00:38:03] If he's not in the role, I'm not sure I have the patience for this movie. But because he's in the role, I have more than enough patience because I know that every second he's on screen, which is the entire movie, basically, he's going to give me something. Yeah. And he's... He does. He always brings it. He's such a good actor. And for that reason, and that reason alone, this is a meh. I enjoyed him.

[00:38:31] The movie, eh. It was okay, I guess. And it, you know, it had enough. But there was so many things in it where I was... It was kind of too long. It was too long and it was only 90 minutes. And that's the problem. It felt long. It felt longer than 90 minutes. I mean, this was in, you're in, you're out. And it felt longer than it was. Imagine if it was 77 minutes, Bryce. Yeah, if it was 77 minutes, it probably would have been okay. The amount of length of a dog.

[00:38:59] And we could have got rid of some of those scenes that did not need to be in there. I did not. I love Johnny Knoxville. And I even... He was very good in this. It's just that that scene just felt so out of place. It just... I'm just like, what the hell? All the things that they didn't... Like, even when he was calling his kid. And, like... Yeah. The whole thing seemed not... Well, I'm pretty sure they didn't put his wife through their life taping. No, that's all... Yeah, that's, you know... That's all dramatic license.

[00:39:29] There's no question of that. But, oh, especially since if you watch the documentary, you know that the person that they... For the home game was not his wife. So... Well, and those episodes are actually on YouTube. You can watch the actual guy. You can watch the actual guy doing his thing. Well, in the doc that I watched, they literally played the whole episode. Yeah. Within... Was it the two-hour one on... Yeah, it was the one that was hosted by the guy that hosted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one I watched. Yeah. Hosted by the host.

[00:39:59] But, yeah. It was meh. I can't say I didn't enjoy it, but it was all Paul Walter Hauser. So if you love the guy like I love the guy, watch the movie. Apparently we love the guy. Yeah. Okay, well, whatever. So, Matt... It's always about you, isn't it? Yes. I generally find it is, yes. Who are you planning on pleasing with that little wiener? Oh, as long as it's me, that's all that matters. That's it. All right. Okay. And the icing we had on this cake... This is the icing?

[00:40:28] Well, there's a little bit more icing, but I'm saving that as a surprise. Or is it turnt? Okay. Okay. I don't think I like surprises. You love surprises, especially when it's me that's doing the surprising. I think you don't know me if you think I love surprises. Well, wait until you find out. All right. All right. So we got to see William Tell. Now, I think many of you know his name, right? William Tell, yeah.

[00:40:57] I know his song. Yeah, there's an overture. There is an overture. Yeah, you're right. Also known as the Lone Ranger. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Okay. So anyway, yeah, we all know his name, but I didn't know his story. Not going to lie, period pieces are not my favorite genres. Although I have a lot of not favorite genres.

[00:41:22] I sort of knew his story, but his story just keeps on getting stupider and bigger. But go ahead. Embellishing it, apparently. Yeah, exactly. Take a five-minute poem into a 90-minute movie. Oh, well, yeah, something like that. This, we get the 1400s Austria when the German Empire is still roaming around. See what I did there? I see. Roman. Yeah. I saw what you did there. There is typical. Clever. It's history.

[00:41:52] It's history. His story. And I'm telling it. So this is a typical politics stuff type movie where you get bad guys who run the political arena, do evil things, and innocent people are at their evil whim. I mean, it's the 1400s, for God's sakes. We get William Tell, who is a righteous man and takes on the role of protector for this man whose wife was raped and murdered, who avenged her, but now he's on the run.

[00:42:22] We then get lots of characters introduced, all politicking and whatnot. There is a great cause. I think Braveheart or Rob Roy or any one of those. It's the same movie. It's kind of the same movie, but this one's from the 1400s. Ultimately, it's all... Someone yell freedom? Yeah, there's a speech. Probably. There's a speech in front of people and horses and stuff. Yeah. I mean, ultimately, it's all pretty well acted.

[00:42:52] And we get Jonathan Pryce, Jonathan Pryce sighting, as well as a Ben Kingsley. Ben Kingsley wearing a weird eye thing. As another culture, I haven't yet to see him play. So is there nothing or no race that Ben Kingsley can't play? Yes. Ben Kingsley is truly every man. He is the every man. Absolutely. And yeah, he just brings a level of class to everything he's doing, even when he's playing.

[00:43:22] And he always brings his whole game. He does. Even he's been in some horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible movies. Yeah, yeah. Like, we've even talked about some of the horrible movies. We might be talking about one of them right now. Yeah, we might be talking about one of them right now. We might. Yeah, so there's nothing really he can't do. The speech is kind of old English. It's not really full Shakespearean, but there's a lot of old English type stuff in it. There is.

[00:43:52] And it was, I don't know. Like, I didn't really hate it because I wasn't invested in anything. Like, I kind of watched it as a glaze. I was kind of glazed over. I get it. I didn't hate it. I get it. But I also didn't fall asleep. So I guess for that reason, like, I have to judge it in the, whether I fell asleep in it. That's a big thing. It is a big thing for me. For a period piece?

[00:44:20] Yeah, for a period piece that's like seven hours long. Yeah, two hours and 20 minutes. And if you like old middle age period pieces where set design was beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Although, I don't know if we needed two and a half hours about a guy that nobody really cares about, I think, maybe. Not sure if that's a truth. You didn't do something about your phone there, Jim? It keeps on pinging. There's a beeping reason for it. All right.

[00:44:50] So, yeah, it was meh. But I can tell you one thing that I did love about this. All right. The 1400s machine gun version of a crossbow. Yes. Do you know what that is, Marie? That's where you have two crossbows. And you're shooting a crossbow. One guy's reloading it, and then you're shooting it. Did they even have crossbows back then? That was, yeah. I don't think Robin Hood had a crossbow. William Tell did apparently. William Tell had one. And he was using his... He was a nasty crossbow.

[00:45:19] He was using a crossbow machine gun. Yep. He'd shoot, and then the other guy's loading it, and then he'd hand it to him. He'd shoot again, and he'd hand the other empty one, and you'd get a load and shoot and load and shoot. It was a rootin', tootin', shootin' kind of movie. He killed like 10 bad guys in about 37 seconds. Yeah. It was like... Pretty impressive. It was horrible. That's the best machine gun imitation. Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. Okay, William Tell.

[00:45:45] So the big thing about William Tell is, you know, the big story is that he shoots the apple off the head of his kid. They had the scene. So they had that scene. They literally open with that scene, and then you go back. Back to now what are you going to do? Then you go back in time, and then we see what leads up to that scene, and then we do some stuff after it as well. This is... Here's what saved this movie. Was it the machine gun?

[00:46:15] It's partly the machine gun. It's basically the fact that this is a very... I mean, it's got to be an R-rated movie. It's very violent. Yes, it's very violent. I mean, there are limbs being lopped off. Eyeballs falling out. There is a fantastic scene that is just so visceral where he just stabs a guy to death in a bathtub. Yes. That is the stuff that it's like... If you're going to make this...

[00:46:43] I want to hate this movie so badly. But the violence was really well done, and a lot of it actually felt... It would be what it would be. Well, it would be what it would be to a certain point, but then all of a sudden, we see a little bit of weird martial arts that gets mixed into it at some point. So it gets modernized in certain areas.

[00:47:05] And that's what made it actually more fun for me, is watching it and seeing these ladies that have their coiffed hair and everything, which absolutely was not happening in that era.

[00:47:15] And so I'm like, okay, I'm actually having a good time, partly because of the violence, partly because of the ridiculousness, partly because this William Tell sort of legend has grown over time to the point where it's absolutely ridiculous. And I guarantee that 3% of what I just watched actually happened.

[00:47:42] William Tell became a legend by word of mouth. His story is not his story. But that's okay, because I don't think that this was made as a, you know, a documentarian would make a movie. He made a movie that is fun. I mean, it's weird. William Tell gets locked up, and then guess what? About 10 minutes later, he breaks out of prison. It's like, and who cares?

[00:48:11] If he was actually locked up, he wouldn't have broken out of prison in 10 minutes. It's all just so stupid. And I didn't care. For some reason, and I don't know why, this movie I should have hated. I should have hated this movie. I should have hated every frame of this movie. You didn't like Rob Roy, I remember that. Hated Rob Roy. But for some reason, this movie has something. And it is well made. And I don't think they spent a lot of money on it.

[00:48:39] I think they did a lot with a little. I think that it was acted reasonably well. Yeah. It's ridiculous. But that's okay. I had a good time again. And I don't know. Maybe I'm just getting old, and I'm just getting more. But I didn't hate it. I should have. I guarantee I should have hated it. But I didn't. It was meh. Right. It was meh, Mary. You guys should have hated that. We should have. We should have.

[00:49:09] Absolutely, you are correct, sir. I would have hated it. But the machine gun. The machine gun. No. That was great. Honestly, the best scene in it, though, was when he kills that guy in the bathtub. Oh, yeah. He gets right in the bathtub with him. And he just, stab, stab, stab, stab. It was so good. There's so much stabby stabby. Oh, man. That scene was so good. Right there, I knew I wasn't going to hate this movie. That scene, I'm like, all right. Well, it happened so early in the movie. It happened early. And it wasn't William Tell that was doing the stabby. It was a guy.

[00:49:38] This could be crap for the rest of the movie. And I'm already in. I'm done. This is. I'm in. Let's do this. The stabby stabby guy was. And then we got into like hour 47. I'm like, okay, it's got to end. And then it did. Thank God. It finally did. All right. So to cap off our movies from this week. Yes. Only because we've been talking about Debra Messing for the last three episodes. She was in a movie this week.

[00:50:07] We did not get to see it. I'm just telling everybody we would have been able to. So I had to mention Debra Messing's name because Debra Messing has been in three movies that we've seen in the last three weeks. Okay. All right. Just saying. All right. That's fair. As long as that's all we're saying. Is that it? I guess so. That's all I wanted to say. Okay. Is that. This is the third week. So next week. If you want to go watch that movie, go right ahead.

[00:50:38] Yeah, exactly. But what I'm hoping is. Yeah. Is that we'll get to see Debra Messing in a movie next week. Maybe. Who knows? I mean, we got a lot of movies we got to see next week too. So maybe she'll pop up again. Maybe she'll pop. You know what? I tell you, I'm still standing by. She's as good as she's ever been in Alto Nights. Yeah. I think we're all in agreement to that. Yes. All right. Anyways, go ahead. Yeah. Are we like in hour six already? Yeah. You're in like hour number two. Oh.

[00:51:08] That's because, hey, man, I'm on fire. That's all I know. I'm doing this. I'm doing this off the cuff. I got no script. Glad you finally woke up because you were boring as shit for the first half of this. Grrr. Yeah. Well. As I mentioned before. I'm not getting a lot of sleep these days. I love game shows. You do? I especially love it when greedy people go for it, make stupid decisions, and lose it all. Okay. That's my favorite. Much like Breast Your Luck.

[00:51:38] They should just go home with their $100,000 in prizes. No, I'm going to go one more time. Whammy. Nice. Love that. So naturally. He got whammied in life. When a movie comes out that involves game shows, I'm all in. Of course, most of them involve scandals. Quiz show. Who knew there are scandals in movies? Why else would they make a movie about it? Why else would they make a movie about it? So yeah, here are some of the better ones. Okay. As you mentioned, quiz show. That was a good movie. In the 1950s, Charles Van Doren appeared on the quiz show 21.

[00:52:08] Lasted six weeks and won $49,000 in prize money. That's a lot of money back then. Then there was a congressional investigation. He admitted that the show's producers gave him the question and answers in advance. Why? Because it was the 50s. They didn't think anybody would notice. No, but why would they... Promote the show. You can win big. Because he was tall, good looking, and personal. So they needed a face so people would tune in. And John Turturro, who was the other guy, was just smart.

[00:52:37] But he was a loser. Anyway. I forgot the movie. So yeah, it was directed by Robert Redford starring Ralph Fiennes. Yes. Rob Morrow as a DA. And featured John Turturro as the guy that got screwed over by the network. I love John Turturro. This film was a fun ride. Slumdog Millionaire. Oh yeah. That was a good movie too. I haven't seen this film. It stars your boy Dev Patel. Dev Patel. So I'm sure you guys liked it. Yes.

[00:53:06] You are correct sir. In case you don't know the story, it's an end teenager from Mumbai. Goes on India's Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Starts winning. People think he is cheating. And he is arrested and interrogated by police. And there's some story stuff in there. Because he was a slumdog. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Sounds exciting. But now he's a millionaire. Directed by Danny Boyle. Yeah. Won eight Oscars. We like Danny Boyle. Including Best Picture. Yeah. I've won zero Oscars by the way. Maybe people should check it out. They should. You should check it out.

[00:53:35] Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Ah. Chuck Barris. Chuck Barris. Yeah. He's a legend in the game show industry. He invented the dating game, the gong show, and the newlywed game back in the 70s. Sam Rockwell baby. In 1984, he wrote an autobiography about his life. Yes. Developing game shows and the lessons he learned. Apparently, he also at the same time worked for the CIA as an off-the-books assassin, if you believe him.

[00:54:05] No, he didn't. Star Sam Rockwell. Directed by George Clooney. Written by surrealist screenwriter Charlie Kaufman. Nice. Mixes the wacky life of a bottom girl. Rosemary Cleans. He's nephew. And the hidden truth of the life. Next up, we have Quiz. I don't know if you saw this one. Quiz. I actually saw it. It involved the British. Who wants to be a millionaire? Hmm. Nope. A theme there. Hmm. Another scandal. The two siblings. Was John Cleese in it? No. He's British.

[00:54:34] I can't remember who the host was. It was somebody famous. But it was, yeah, this brother and sister who basically get so caught up in... His brother. ...who wants to be a millionaire that they train really hard. They like the guy from Press Your Luck. They try to memorize as much as they can. And then he gets on the show. He goes all the way to the end. And then they discover he may be cheating. Oh, no. Because somebody in the audience is giving him sound cues and stuff for which one answer to pick. What?

[00:55:04] So, yeah. He gets on the show. Gets over to the final question. Then the scandal hits and the cheating is uncovered. Wow. When do people ever learn? Cheaters are bad. Cheaters never prosper. It's not cheating unless you get caught, Murray. This next one's actually a documentary, which I also saw at the same time as the Press Your Luck thing. Perfect Bid, the contestant who knew too much. Yeah, I saw that. I saw this on Game TV. It involves... It's fun little doc. This is right. Yep.

[00:55:30] But this one viewer named Ted Slauson memorized the prices of all the prizes from episode to episode, looking for patterns. When he cracked the show's code, he tried to get on stage, but the producers always felt something was off about him. So, he passed on his knowledge to somebody else who could, and they made television history by becoming the first contestant in more than 9,000 episodes to get the exact price on the fame showcase showdown, like to the dollar.

[00:56:01] Much like Luckiest Man, it's not really cheating if you memorize the patterns and do the work. It's not cheating. TV producers just don't expect it. That's just hard work. We have Magnolia, though not technically a film about game shows. No, not really. This anthology by Paul Thomas Anderson had a twisted segment about a cruel kids game show called What Do Kids Know? Hosted by Philip Baker Hall. Love Philip Baker Hall. That pits child prodigies against each other for audience entertainment. Used to be mesmerizing.

[00:56:31] Used to be. This is an acclaimed film. It had a huge ensemble cast. Tom Cruise, Melinda Dillon, Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H. Macy, Julianne Moore, and John C. Reilly. It was also the final film of Jason Robards. Really? And finally, my favorite. Death Race 2000. Oh, God. Yes! The only Sylvester Stallone movie I can watch. In the distant future, the dictator American president. Sound familiar? Yes.

[00:57:00] Decrees an annual road race across America where competitors get points for running over people. Yes. The younger the person, the higher the points. Mm-hmm. Um, there's an awesome scene where the attendants of a nursing home roll out the invalids in wheelchairs for sacrifice, but the drivers mow down the nurses instead. It was awesome. Um, at the same time, there's a rebel band trying to end the barbaric race and kill the president.

[00:57:26] This movie features David Carradine and a very young Sly Stallone. There's TNA, carnage, humor, a love story. It's got everything. Thank you, Roger Corman. Yes. If you're into gaming, you can play Carmageddon and relive the movie. Nice. That's all I got. That is a good icing on that cake. That is technically a game show and yeah, definitely my favorite. Nice. Whoops.

[00:57:58] Vision blurring. Rage taking over. This week is because, uh, I didn't get to see Screamboat cause I was busy.

[00:58:27] Uh, the two time slots. It didn't even have multiple time slots. It was playing. Playing in one theater in the whole town. It played one theater in the whole city and it had two time slots over the entire fucking weekend. I could have easily snuck out during the day, uh, during the weekend, but my evenings were all booked with other things. So I didn't get a chance to see this and it's because it had, uh, I think it was a seven

[00:58:52] o'clock showing, um, Friday and, uh, and Sunday night. Like they didn't even play it on Saturday. Friday. It was a 10 o'clock show. Okay. So 10 o'clock one showing and then, and then it's seven o'clock on Sunday. Both times didn't work for me. Technically that could, this, that could be my rage as well that I didn't get to see with my buddy Jim. Cause I think, I think I would have enjoyed Screamboat even more if I was seeing it with you. We would have totally loved it. Such is life. That's yeah. It's my rage.

[00:59:19] And also, uh, your, your point about freaky tales that we didn't. Hey, just, oh, sorry. Well, I'm just saying. I believe he has something to say about it. Oh yeah. Well, I'm also sad. That should have been sold out.

[00:59:35] My rage now should be that Jim's trying to steal my thunder again. Oh, when I know your thunder. Yes. My rage this week is that freaky tales got no promotion whatsoever.

[01:00:04] This is a movie that I wish God could have got some promotion. Like I literally never saw a trailer for, and I still haven't seen a trip. You would have to seek it out to see a trailer for this movie. And it's a damn shame. You're putting all this money into promoting stupid snow white and Minecraft, which was okay. I'm not saying the one that they've been showing. You know what? Minecraft didn't need a fricking $8 billion behind it in promotion.

[01:00:30] No, the trailer that we've been seeing the most is the one we're looking forward to. The amateur. Yeah. The most disgusting actor of our, of our era. But there's this, this, this movie deserved an audience. And the only way you're going to get an audience in this day and age is if you got some promotion. If it was playing in my local cinema, I would have seen it, but it wasn't. But at the end of the day, I mean, I'm just hoping that it can be one of those movies that

[01:00:57] can just last at least a couple of weeks here. And for word of mouth, maybe last longer because people, hopefully it'll get one of those, you know, reverse jobs where it doesn't have a good opening weekend, but then it actually gets a little better, a little better through word of mouth because it is so damned entertaining. Go see freaky fricking tales. Yeah. And the tales is worth watching and it deserved better.

[01:01:24] And you know, the good thing about it is it's very anti-racist, which everybody can get on board with except for the people that are racist. Except for the Nazis. There's nothing but Nazis. Yeah. There's, there's a lot of Nazi killing. And I remind you, Murray, the Lost Boys is the center of this movie. Yes. Well, it was me. Like I said, if it was playing anywhere in my area of the city, I might've gone to it. There you go. But I'm not traveling 20 miles to see the movie. So, sorry. I would travel.

[01:01:52] I would drive into Edmonton to see this movie. It's so good. Last week on Rage or Dare. Jim decided to worship at his god of rage's feet and pull from my bag of evil remakes and

[01:02:21] sequels when he picked The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. This week, it's Bryce and Jim's turn to rage or dare, or shall we make it two KC's in a row? Hmm. Come on, Bryce. All right. Let's see if Jet Li's ability to be lovable in everything he does outweighs the fact that Rachel Weisz thought it was a good idea to get out of this Mummy franchise while the getting was good.

[01:02:49] Or at least while the getting was okay. Or while the getting was tolerable and still technically dealing with a mummy. Was Brendan Fraser in it? I love you so much. Um, okay. What can I say about this movie? Um, okay. Um, well, you can see why Rachel Weisz decided to not come back and why there was never another

[01:03:18] one after this one. The story is so convoluted and it takes like 30 minutes in before you even, to get the backstory. It's like they've, it's made it so convoluted and stupid. It takes 30 minutes to get the backstory in there, which has Brendan Fraser now with a kid who, I guess is his most was supposed to be his like replacement. Sort of like Indiana Jones light. Whatever. They're both bad.

[01:03:45] We got the same brother-in-law comedy relief and, uh, Maria Bello is the replacement for Rachel Weisz. We get, um, from the original stories. Uh, we also learn the origin of the terracotta warriors. Did you know that the terracotta warriors was, you know, the famous Chinese statues were actually the mummy. Did you know that? I didn't know that. Well, now, you know, uh, we got Michelle Yeo and Jet Li.

[01:04:14] No, it's not true. We got Michelle Yeo, Jet Li, and a ton of characters that were, dare I say, uh, convoluted. And, uh, the son who's completely annoying through the entire movie. There's so much set up here that by the time the action starts, you are already bored. And when I say bored, I mean bored to tears. We get bad 2008 CGI every five minutes. And I really didn't get what's kind of happening for most of the time. I did actually fall asleep in this five times.

[01:04:44] So it goes to show you how difficult this was for me to try and get through. Uh, so in summary, we didn't get enough Michelle Yeo or, uh, Rachel Weisz. In fact, we didn't get any Rachel Weisz. So that's a problem. Um, or Jet Li, but we did get a terrible third outing for this terrible third mummy film, which we never needed. And yeah, this is just, uh, I don't really want to talk much more about it. I don't want to tell what the story is about.

[01:05:13] I just don't want anybody to see this. And I've heard rumors that they're thinking of bringing back a reboot of this. Just let this one die. Like I could, I could talk about every horrible thing in it, but they have yetis in this. Like, this is what is so dumb. It's like they're, they're, and, and every time it's like the, the theme of this mummy franchise is like, well, if this happens, the world is going to end. And then that happens.

[01:05:41] They're like, oh, but you know, we can stop it by this. Well, why didn't you tell us that before? Why don't we just go wait at the very end of all the exceptions that you're going to make? Cause it's like, well, this happens. We, you know, we're all dead. And then no, no. But if the light of Uranus is shining on Pluto's penis, then this can happen. And then, so of course they have to go do that. And then that does not, well, you know, if this didn't happen, character Pluto. Yeah. Somebody, whatever. And then, and then, so they're having this battle.

[01:06:11] They're having this battle. They're fighting all these guys. And then the one girl's like, and I don't know what she's blowing her whistle or whatever she's doing. And all of a sudden all these giant yetis come. I'm like, oh, why didn't you call the fucking yetis from the beginning of this battle? Why did you let some of your people die? Just like bring the yetis out and let them destroy everybody. You lead with the yetis. Yeah. Like always never not lead with yetis. That's the thing. That's the point of this whole movie. I mean, okay.

[01:06:38] So the mummy is like Egypt, right? No, no, no. Desert. No, no, no. Chinese mummy. Yeah. Not anymore. Yeah. I was like, where the hell do you find a yeti in freaking desert? Well, there's a desert in China too. There's Chinese desert. Yetis live in the, in the snow. Well, Chinese have mountains too. Go high enough. You go high enough. You get some, you leave the, they had to leave the desert. Marie to get to the mountains for the yetis. Yeah. This was, this is really unwatchable.

[01:07:07] It was, it was so painful. Sounds like it. Yeah. I'm glad I didn't have to watch it. I'm glad that I got to see Rachel Weisz in other movies other than this. Yeah. Yeah. It's a rage by the way. There you go. All right. So what do we want to do next week? A little mister. What are our options again? We can Casey. We can Merman. We can, let's do, let's just take those as our two choices. Casey or Merman? Yeah.

[01:07:37] Uh, so if I Casey, I'm probably getting a remake or a sequel. If I Merman, it's probably going to be, yeah, that's right. Crappy on Tubi or Casey special? Um, I don't know. You choose. Okay. I've got them behind my back. Okay. Choose right hand. Right hand or left hand?

[01:08:07] It's a left. Merman. All right. Let's see what we got from Merman's. Ice creamy bucket of rage. Ice creamy bucket of rage. So I have in my hands, I believe one single movie. Let's see. Yeah. It looks like only one. And we're going to. To be special. Escape plan from 2013. That's Sylvester Stallone. Stallone and I think Schwarzenegger.

[01:08:36] Didn't I dare you to see that? Or did I see you escape plan two? I think it wasn't the first one. I think we're stuck watching this. Damn it. So horrible. They're all the same though. Escape plan. What's his other, other series that he's got? Escape plan. And then there's the other one. That's kind of the same thing. Yeah, you do. The Expendables. Yeah. The Expendables. Oh, yeah. They're also. It's not the same. Anything that he's in. How is it not the same? Isn't an escape plan about a prison?

[01:09:06] Yeah, but he's still a mercenary or something in a prison. He was escaping from prison. No, Expendables is rescuing other people. He's killing bad guys in both of them. It's the same movie. He kills bad guys in every movie. Yes, they're all the same movie. Rocky IV. Same movie. Same movie. He didn't kill anybody in that. He wants to. His best friend died. Yes. There you go. The saddest moment in the history of that movie was Apollo Creed going down.

[01:09:34] And because of it, we got a bunch of Creed movies. Terrible Creed movies. That's right. And then the band Creed because they named themselves after the movie. They did not. I don't know. It's my guess. All right. Well, you know what? This was a pretty ridiculous movie episode. And also, in case you didn't know it, this was the underdog episode. Every movie we watched was about the underdogs. Steamboat Willie? Yeah. He was an underdog. Yeah, he's kind of an underdog. He's a little two-foot mouse.

[01:10:03] He's just a mouse trying to make his way in the world. Yeah. There you go. Well, thanks, Ragers, for listening. Thanks to the extended Film Rage family you can find in our show notes. Thanks to Casey from the Nerdy Photographer for the voice of Rage Odette and our god of rage. Find us on social media everywhere at FilmRageYYC. Rage or YYC. Check out everything at FilmRage at FilmRageYYC.com, including our merch site for Red Webble and TeePublic. We're always going to make this a raging blast for all listeners, so please comment, like, subscribe, and send us emails to FilmRageCalgary at gmail.com. Dare to see terrible movies to fuel our rage.

[01:10:33] But no matter what you do, please, please, please, pretty, please, please, please, please make us a rage. That's it for this week. Rage on.