Star Wars Tales Comic Book Anthology Retrospect

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[00:00:58] For now, we're going to talk about Star Wars Tales. Yeah, yeah. Again, this was another one. I did see this promoted all the time in comic books by Dark Horse. I did see promos for it and I knew it was awesome, but I just, you know.

[00:01:10] I know one guy who actually dropped $330 just to buy Exar Kun's figure. Wow. Yeah. I was like, wow, really? Like, he's like, I don't know if I should pay my textbooks off or buy this figure. Is that any post? Like, yeah, whoops. Guess I'm not paying my textbooks off. Wow. Great.

[00:01:39] Kevin J. Anderson is quoted as saying, I almost wish I could have done the backstory first. I would have added more detail to the books. I spent more time writing the comics than the books. I knew so much about him. He wouldn't have been quite so clear cut a villain. I'd take the edge off of him if he had to do it over again. Yeah. As he used his spirit in the Jedi Academy trilogy. I always kind of forget he's around because he looks so much like Starkiller. Yeah, he kind of does.

[00:02:01] So, a lot of great people contributing to this. The late, great Peter David, Claudio Castellini, Michael Eaglen, Timothy Zahn, Ron Mars. But yeah, Martin Eaglen's doing the drawing. Dan Jolly, Ron Mars, Dave Cooper, Sean Phillips.

[00:02:21] A lot of the same people kind of back and forth. And Kevin Rubio, Doug Wheatley, Dave Mocker in Eddington, Carlos Maglia, Terry Moore, Cliff Richard. Everybody had a moment in the sun. Mark Schultz, Kelly Strom. And yeah, I really had a lot of fun reading these. Like these, you do have to search for it real, real hard.

[00:02:50] Like because they don't give it all to you. And but yeah, like just there's something for everybody on these. These are different from the one I was like most pretty much all of these are canon except otherwise stated. And the ones that are will be very apparent here in just a minute. But so, yeah, I did. I felt like it kind of struggled. It was kind of average for a while.

[00:03:19] I dug into issue five how we have Yaddle, the other female member of Yoda's race. Yeah, I had no idea that she gets killed off in some books made for the junior crowd. I'm like, whoa, that's dark. But yeah, in issue five, there's a story called Yaddle's Tale, the one below. And it recounts her failed battle with Jedi Paul Van Kut trying to kill his family murderer Tulak in an act of revenge on this one primitive planet. She kills a bunch, including a predator monster. It's an awesome.

[00:03:48] It's basically kind of like kind of like that movie that sure life story unbroken that Olympian who survived a Japanese internment camp. Just that whole style is pretty awesome. She is in waiting and then finally strikes back at the enemy when they finally tried to, you know, come back at her in the interrogation dungeon. There's a fun tale called Lando's Commandos called On Eagle's Wings. It's a cool concept, but the lame villains and zany artwork took me out of it completely. Hmm.

[00:04:18] So then we get to issue eight that had a cool deal where him and Han Solo get in a fun adventure. Issue nine has a resurrected Darth Maul versus Darth Vader. And I was probably the first I heard of tells like I would see people uploading artwork back in Geocities days. And I was like, oh, yeah. Geocities. I love Geocities. And Angel Fire. Angel Fire was awesome. So many fun sound clips and everything. Yeah. So it's a duel to the death.

[00:04:45] The scenario setup is fun with Vader and the Stormtrooper posse being tricked into thinking the Death Star plans are here. When free Sith Lords just want to fight them as they think Vader's unworthy, given how he's not part of any Sith bloodline. And yeah, Darth Maul gets a fun redemption arc. And by redemption arc, I mean he gets to just have another pose. He's been resurrected by the dark powers. Issue 10, we have Garth Ennis in the house. That's right. Our Punisher, the boys guy.

[00:05:14] He does a tale called Trooper. Where it's just a stormtrooper. This is the guy who's like the very first one shot on screen by Princess Leia in the original movie. It's so funny how he's seeing so many people die in this hardened warrior. But Darth Maul gets another one in the nameless story. The other tells felt very uneven and anticlimactic after all the other stuff they introduced. But so those two tells in issue 10 just made it worth it.

[00:05:42] But man, by issue 11, they're on fire. They're stopping. They're curb stomping. We have Imperial deserter Han Solo hunted by Boba Fett in issue 11 while Vader decides to interfere. After Moff Tarkin suggests they do everything internally instead of hiring the overpriced merchants. Han Solo's drawing is a little annoying, but it's cool seeing Bobo use a lightsaber from Jedi as he's killed against Vader.

[00:06:10] Solo ends up escaping in an A-Wing, so represent my A-Wings. Issue 12, Wedge and Tilly's. He and the squad blow up what's left of Vader's Star Destroyer, the ship Executor. You could also state... I think that you could argue it's just the automatic gun turds that are left over, but he blows that place up. Anakin Skywalker searches for his missing lightsaber while he and Obi-Wan guard these four busty queens of the Spoiled King. This is back when he's a kid training.

[00:06:39] It has another Tags and Bink story. For those who aren't in the know, Tags and Bink were these two stormtroopers guys who... They were all non-canon stories, but they were just very amusing. Just guys messing around on the Death Star and surviving the slaughter. So there's a story of them in here. There's a once-been-in story where old Obi-Wan tells Han Solo, after they've escaped Tatooine in the original film, a fun story about how him and Qui-Gon went on an earlier adventure fighting assassin Aura Sing.

[00:07:08] That's right, that one albino, red-haired assassin who became an icon after the pod race scene. Then there's a story about one of the last surviving Jedi, Gera. But issue 13 is all Mace Windu, all the time. Great stories, different artwork. People who are into anime or manga are going to love this.

[00:07:34] But there's one with Puzzle Piece, which is an amusing tale where two warring alien clans fight over a sacred statue. It's like a reverse Star Trek. The secret of T'Ami is where Windu kills a bunch of killer droids and orb aliens. Actually, no, that's the reverse Star Trek. But he faces a resolution.

[00:07:57] But then we have survivors where Mace Windu poses as a bounty hunter to go after a murderous criminal named Uda Khalid and infiltrates his planetary palace. The Sith and the Shadows, where basically young Anakin and Windu are on the alien planet. And this planet is sympathetic to the Sith Lord cause. Windu shows that Anakin, that he is not a good student as he gave in to fear as part of this simulation.

[00:08:25] Children of the Force has a Zeltron Merc gal who is asked to return a Force-sensitive baby to its parents. And Windu reluctantly decides to let the boy be returned and delete the small request. So there's no record of this forbidden conversation. Because get it? You can't just give any Jedi kid back to their folks. For real. We need our child soldiers. We need our child soldiers. Then they have Apocalypse Ondor in issue 14. I kid you not.

[00:08:54] It's an Apocalypse Now parody done with Ewoks. I don't know if you've ever seen Apocalypse Now. Yeah, I have. No, it's a lot of fun artwork. A lot of fun. Not too on the nose. The Emperor's Court has... This was the fucking funniest one, man. This has Han Solo on a court TV type trial by C-Frepio representing Greedo's mother. For the wrongful shooting of Greedo. Han claims self-defense.

[00:09:22] So before you can say Harvey Bergman, what a mockery of a courtroom trial. Palpatine is the Imperial Court judge with Darth Vader literally making everyone in the court rise via force push. The humor's just so on point with this whole hysterical scenario setting. I love how Han Solo objects to the witnesses when he claims the wolf alien wasn't there at the scene. But the Emperor tells him to relax as it will be stricken from the record due to the Emperor not speaking, understanding anything the aliens are saying.

[00:09:51] He still notes that Han's on thin ice since he's still a smuggler. We kill anyone who's not us, man. So Han shows a hologram video recording of the incident, but C-Frepio objects claiming it's been altered. This is pre-AI. I love the last part where they make fun of the TV reality shows that are going to be on the air next. But yeah, Han fucking loses just because the Emperor's like, yeah, well, I'll take that for the record. But you're still going down because I got to make an example of you. But Tides of Terror.

[00:10:21] This has Jedi Aayla Secura and Kit Fisto going after a Kamino traitor alien gal and her super battle droids. This was fun and quick. The Lesson is another story in issue 14 that reflects on the Battle of Geonosis arena battle. They recreated a simulation and show this Padawan who doesn't believe in fate or how they can sacrifice themselves for the better good. But it's great use of hologram imagery.

[00:10:49] Then we go to issue 15. So, again, they produced these tales from 1999 to 2005. But man, I went from so many of them in a day. It was amazing. Yeah, because those are all just one shot deals. So they're like a couple of pages each. Well, unlike any anthology show, if you don't like it, you'll just skim through to the next one. That is awesome. Yeah. You would like Visionaries. I would. Nah. I would. I would. I would. Yeah, Star Wars Visionaries. I read that.

[00:11:18] I read that twice, actually, because it was so good. I've been meaning to read that. Yeah. So. Oh, that's right. I did hear about that. Fuck. All right. I'm looking it up now. Sorry. So, yeah, we go to issue 15. There's one called Sandstorm, where Luke imagines himself and young Anakin in the desert and realizes it's just a fever dream. And he that envision includes him killing a cripe dragon.

[00:11:45] Oh, he killed a dragon with young Annie. Whoa. Yeah. No fucking sand people this time around. Wow. First impressions is the tale where Leah gets ready to flee as her father Organa's diplomatic immunity is running on thin ice. That was fun. Good artwork. Then we have Falling Stars, where Biggs Darklighter and Luke stop an out of control space travel ship from collapsing. Then there's Do or Do Not, where Luke reflects at the Ondor aftermath. Wasn't needed, but not half bad.

[00:12:15] Then we jump to issue 16, called The Other, where Leah Organa Solo has become president of the New Republic. She defends her kids while dressed up as her mom, Podme. Hmm. Kessel Run. This says photography showing artwork. Like, they totally did early Photoshop, where they make it look distills from the movie, making it look like characters are talking. Oh. Could have been digitally rendered a little better, but pretty good. It made it more involving. But this shows how Han won the Falcon. Okay.

[00:12:46] He makes it. The run. Spoiler. But he has to spend 17,000 credits just to make all the different transactions. It's later revealed that Lando set this thing up as revenge for Han, who was already cheating at SABEC, gambling, for taking the Falcon as collateral, while Han has to chase these vermin birds of no value away. And like, they give him all these little creatures he has to smuggle, and he's like, oh, by the way, it's just like if you had a cow or something you can't use, you know, for your farm.

[00:13:16] It's just like, man, this is a dish best served cold. So then we go to Heart of Darkness, which is 700 years before the Battle of Yavin 4. Not bad. Jump to issue 17. It's a Sith-themed issue. It's good, as long as you don't expect the other Sith Lords from the movies to appear that are on the cover. But it gets you in the mood at the same time, so I get it. Yeah. We go to Planet of the Dead, where Han and Chewie restore a ghost planet during a trip. Some Mald humor and good artwork.

[00:13:45] We have Phantom Menaces, where Luke realizes through a hologram of Darth Maul that a scientist on his people's planet is operating on Maul's brain in an effort to resurrect him. He shuts it down. That's the name. Dumb. Ghosts of Hoth. Yeah. So that's the other thing, too. Much like any anthology, there's a lot of good ideas that kind of just get shut down. They got to conclude it. And you're like, that was kind of a clucky ending, but good artwork. It's a different thing when it's a comic. And I much rather be a comic than just a bad movie.

[00:14:15] Yeah, that's true. So issue 18 is a Boba Fett special. We have number two in the galaxy where Boba Fett goes against a monkey lizard. Payback where Boba Fett is goes after a target whose brother he's killed. It's Drax, the target who has warrior droids and destroyer droid devices from the Clone Wars. And Boba takes all of them on.

[00:14:42] We have being Boba Fett where Boba's taking a semi-naked shower and doing some armor prep. He goes after a speeding pirate and another target wanted by Black Sun who turns out to be a Twilight Jedi imposter. And of course, he reads in the riot act. Don't kill me in front of my kid. And he does not. So he takes the guy who set him up instead. But Way of the Warrior is on planet Kuat one year before the Geonosis battle.

[00:15:11] Django, man, he shanks and blows up and kills a bunch of people. And he's using his son to kind of root them out. And they're like, you're exploiting him. He's like, no, you're kind of just part of this whole thing. We have this trust. Good hologram by Dooku who set up this whole kill squad mission. Then we have W. Hayden Blackman who contributed a lot of books and comics over the years in video games, including the Bounty Hunter game.

[00:15:40] And he writes this Revenant story. I wish they didn't acknowledge Chewie's death by the Yuzin Vong in the New Jedi Order. But whatever, it's still an OK story if I get past that. It just shows old man Han Solo being chased by Boba Fett in his slave one ship. Good artwork and very gritty and bloody. Yeah, I remember Chewie's death. That was rough. I did not like that. You're not the only one who didn't like it. That's why they did away with that. It was so bad.

[00:16:10] It would have been OK if it could have been. It wasn't so obvious it could have been avoided. That would be like if I stayed behind on the Death Star. That can be avoided. Well, no, what made it so bad was that fans actually mailed death threats to R.A. Salvatore over that shit. Those guys suck, but I thought it sucked. And that was the same time he lost his brother to cancer. Wow. Yeah, that's where the toxicity started. Yes, it did. And no, everyone likes to act. It started with the movies.

[00:16:40] No, it did not. It started with the books. Yeah. So let's jump ahead to issue 19, where several years after Return of the Jedi, there's some rogue Imperial Force stationed on the asteroid field with spaced out Jawa vehicles. It's cool seeing Luke have to use and then abandon his robotic hand. Some dark troopers here and humbles up some robotic Jawas as well as bad guy Derek, who's a retcon of the chronal Shadowspawn character from the comics, books and games.

[00:17:10] Very cyberpunk ish. We have the lost lightsaber where Ben Skywalker, this was 2004, goes after a Sith who stole Luke's lightsaber after Obi-Wan got his hand chopped off in Empire Strikes. The lightsaber Obi-Wan gave to Luke after he got his hand chopped off. So this was wild.

[00:17:32] Into the Great Unknown is another Black Aiden Black Men story where 126 laders, Indiana Jones, in short round, find Han Solo's remains after he got killed by Native Americans. How did he get killed by Native Americans? It's because the Millennium Falcon crashed into the Pacific Northwest Ocean post hyperspace and they mistook Chewbacca as the legendary Sasquatch.

[00:17:54] I laughed at the part where Han says Earth looks like Ondor and you get to see Chewbacca just gorely killing some Native Americans who are attacking him. But wow, yeah, it's it's a non-canon story, obviously, but it's I just had fun with it. Then we get to issue 20. They dropped the ball on this. There's a lot of zany. They look like your newspaper, you know, daily funnies.

[00:18:20] But the George R. beings, you know, Jar Jar having a dad who epically dies, that was just so stupid. Like, so they're on fire with those last dozen issues. And this issue, it just that was a total why bother? Did you just want to dick around and find out? I will admit, though, it is fun seeing them do cartoon versions of themselves talking. The comic book artist talking to movie characters. That was a labor of love.

[00:18:48] And then those last four issues, 21 through 24, have an epic four parter where Jedi mercenary Darka Nile from the Rebellion comic book series. He's basically a guy who was a smuggler who became a Jedi throughout, you know, post Phantom Menace Clone Wars era to the original trilogy era. And he has some cool arcs.

[00:19:15] I felt like the first and fourth one were stronger, but. Because they he's going after these very diabolical other dark Jedi. And he's a ladies man and everything. It's fun. It's almost like a neo noir, but it's just with lightsaber fighting. Um. Issue 21 has walking the path that's given. It's a dirty dozen type Imperial pilot recruits who go against other cutthroats.

[00:19:41] Equals and opposites has a Kyle Katarn and Jen Orr story. Katarn wants to get married. Jen says not now. And it is clearly set during the Jedi order because they have to. Team up with Imperial Lieutenant Palin and some rogue stormtroopers to stop the using Vong. Cool detonator explosion in the final fight. And if you want to see some Kyle Katarn stuff, it is worth it. Um. We go to issue 22, which is a rep.

[00:20:09] Honor bound, which is a Republic commando story. I love how R.C. Sergeant is having to recount a mission to Yoda Mace Windu. And it's almost like any other war movies. Like just recount. We know everyone got wiped out, but you got to tell us how and why. Yeah. He has a sense that is like, hey, I know this is kind of a nothing mission, but I had to do something. I'm just too loyal to the cause. Yeah. Then we get into Maroon, which is a comedic tell. The scout trooper and rebel trooper both captured on Onor by Ewoks.

[00:20:37] But this got old fast for me, despite some OK humor. Just the artwork was just lulled too. Just rushed. But we go to Shadows of the Light in issue 23. We're set years before the main saga with XR Kuhn. Once again, our guy. His neat artwork, but some tedious expo dumps. Darth Malak appears in a vision. They don't name him. But then they have a story with Wedge Antilles called Lucky, where he goes on a non-X-Wing adventure before returning to a battle. It illustrates his luck.

[00:21:05] He regrets that his girlfriend, Maui, was killed on her homeworld. After the Imperial stopped by to ransack the place for eight days. Pretty tragic, but pretty good. So then we get to issue 24, and that ends it for now.

[00:21:27] And as we open with Mart, where Darth Maul goes after some droidekas during practice and an alien cage match fighter who he is instructed to kill. We go to Fet Club, which is basically a fight club parody. Yeah, that's pretty lame. But Unseen, Unheard is a black and white tale, 4,000 years before the Empire. Darth Nihilus is seen in this. Too short a tale.

[00:21:55] And yeah, man, there was something for everybody in these tales. Yeah, definitely. I mean, just the force fiction story alone. I mean, come on. That was some dynamite stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I never. The only part of tales I ever read or listened to was the audio drama for that with Exar Kun.

[00:22:19] That's the only point I really remember the most, because that was with him and meeting Frieden Nadden and trying to cut through Best Scar with a lightsaber. That makes sense. Well, no, it was a thing because it was it was an audio drama, so it was a full cast. It wasn't just one person narrating. So it was different voices and whatnot, which was different from what I used to deal with with Anthony Heald. And it was.

[00:22:50] I don't know. I'm sure. All right. Him. Anthony Daniels. Oh, pretty good. Yeah, because he did. I he narrated I Jedi. Yeah, because it was him. It was both Anthony's. Then it was Mark Thompson. Then Jonathan Davis. Not the one from Korn. Yeah. I mean, John. Oh, my God. The Anthony. What's his name? Thompson. Yeah.

[00:23:19] The guy does all the voices of Craig Ferguson. He's fucking awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I went to all the different ones. They were great. It makes you wonder why they might as well just do more of it, especially instead of just all these endless what is or isn't canon fights. I get tired of it. Like I see all that. I follow a couple of different Star Wars pages and groups.

[00:23:45] And the one page I follow, he posts, he shares all the new comics coming out. And I'm like, another fucking Luke story, another fucking O.T. run. Nothing new or original. It's so boring. It's like side stories where it's like you're not providing any new answers that we need. I know it's dumb. And it's so it's just boring.

[00:24:12] It's like the newest one that's coming out is Luke is going to be a Galaxy's Edge or Blacks. And he's going to be in Galaxy's Edge of Black Spire Outpost. I'm like, why do you have to cut it down like that? Like, it's so dumb. It's and I finally do understand why people are pissed off at Last Jedi. I do. I get it. But it served the story.

[00:24:39] My only issue with the whole sequel trilogy was bringing in fucking Lando. That was dumb as hell. Well, and they weren't interested in expanding about it. They just wanted to do just let's do a homage. Let's recreate a scene from an earlier thing. It's like just like with Ghostbusters. It's like, just stop. Just stop. Stop. That's not what anyone wants to see. Like, I enjoy 2016. Answer the call. That was good. And everybody was so mad because it's all women.

[00:25:06] I'm like, but you have no problem with Janine or Kylie. Yeah, I didn't like any of them. But that honestly, the cast was the best part of that. I will see Kristen Wiig and Leslie Jones in anything. Great comedians. So I don't know, man. I feel like we're I get annoyed that people act like people are just getting cynical. It's like, well, just do something new with everything. Like, just go read something else. Fuck. It's not that hard. If you don't like it, go read something else. Fuck.

[00:25:36] It really isn't. And I refuse to destroy anyone else's enjoyment. But everyone is jumping on it. Like and people are getting impatient with TV shows like dudes. I let the whole thing drop before I give an opinion. And guess what? No. If they got a deal, which they already chose in advance, it's already been renewed for five more years. So again, you can cancel your subscription if you want. Yeah. Like and I've seen somebody talk about it was something on Facebook about a show.

[00:26:03] And I was like, you got to remember that this is still post covid and the WGA strikes. That's why everything is so slow. Yeah. Exactly. Everybody keeps forgetting that they're like, what is TV so bad? Like the strikes just happened not even three years ago yet. And covid was six years ago. I find a lot of movies soulless today. But guess what? There's still a good movie every year.

[00:26:28] But you're going to take five years to go through the years best and worse anyway, because there's all plenty of foreign films that don't come out right away. Stuff from festivals that is in litigation or legal problems before it finally gets a wider release for years later. You're not going to see everything right away. It is impossible unless you have like a festival pass. And even then, most people aren't going to travel that far. And. I will at least find free good movies a year.

[00:26:58] I don't know what a bad year if I literally just didn't go to the movies much at all. That and which has been pretty recent. But if I didn't like at least five movies that that's when I'm like, yeah, fuck this year. This didn't have anything except sequels or bad. Just remakes. And yeah, like I was looking at the. Yeah, for real. Especially that shit. I was looking at the release.

[00:27:22] You see it or you're not a real movie fan or maybe you haven't even seen the top two 50 in IMDb. So don't even. Yeah, I looked at the movie releases for this year. I'm actually happy. There's only three CBMs coming out this year. I'm happy about that. I'm like, great. It's not going to be a flood deal like it was last decade. There you go. It's like they've gotten the memo. Don't produce too much product. You know? Yeah.

[00:27:49] The one I'm looking forward to is Clayface in October. Unless it gets pushed back. I mean, I was surprised about that. I was like, Clayface? Really? They're making a Clayface film? Shit. I mean, Apple and Microsoft have learned to not rush their shit anymore because of all the backlash. So it's like I think if anything, movie studios can learn. Yeah, definitely. Don't overdo your product. Don't oversell. Don't sell too much. Don't sell too little. Just two newbies.

[00:28:19] Yeah, that's why I'm not excited for Mando and Grogu at all. Because it's one of those. It's not. I look at it. I'm like, okay, yeah, it's Star Wars. It's not going to be a best of the year thing. I know because literally it's the seven years since Tross came out. And people aren't like really ready for another Star Wars film. They're not. Like they are. Like they'll project that they are. But deep down, they're like, no, it's going to be like Tross.

[00:28:48] I might like it, but I definitely don't care at all for this upcoming Jedi thing because they're getting people who do fun movies, not deep Mando stuff. Like and again, they're just throwing out the first expensive stars. I like Amy Adams. I don't care for Ryan Gosling. I'm just like, yeah, I don't need. I mean, I want to see Starfighter. I want to I want to see if it's interesting or not. I have zero interest, especially with the talent behind the scenes. But and your favorite boys directing a lightsaber fight.

[00:29:17] Oh, yeah. And that was another reason for me to avoid. But yeah. But again, Grogu could be just easily forgettable. We'll see. I mainly am more excited for Spielberg and David Cope, Jurassic Park writer, come out with the new unusual sci fi thing. And again, no one knows what it's about. It's going to be a weird mystery with a bunch of big all star cast. So I'm just like, OK, I could do without them stealing Christopher Nolan and Jordan

[00:29:43] Peel's whole deal where they have a one word title, one to two word title. And then we're just distorted posters with. But it looks like it might be captivating if they got this much talent involved. So I'm I'll see something like that because I the other thing I get annoyed is people arguing what should or shouldn't be seen in the theater. And I'm just like, if you think it's worthy of the speakers in your time, go for it. But it's not required that you sit and waste 40 bucks at the movies every time just to

[00:30:12] see something for real. That's why that's why I haven't been to the movies since December. It's got to be worth it. And I see somebody you can only see it that way. I'm like, guys, if it's a piece of shit, I'm not staying there. And I have to because of guilt and spending so much just getting there, just driving there is like it better be worth my time instead of just a mindless remake or something. I get that if you're trying to be like an actual critic, you still have to go to the movies.

[00:30:42] But I'm just where I'm like, yeah, that was me when I watched Thunderbolt. Oh, my God. That was so horrible. I hated it too. I hated it just from the trailer alone. What did you hate the most about it? It was just a very bland, dirty dozen. And just you don't care about anybody. You don't feel any. There's just no stakes in their mission. Yeah. Like doing the usual play to the camera.

[00:31:11] See how would I said there? It's supposed to be funny. I'm like, it's just lazy. Just another man on a mission movie. But done for the hipster crowd. And I'm just like, no, I was I was done before I even started. I saw many people say, oh, it was predictable. I'm like, what was there to like? I didn't see anything that was there to like. And I've seen others say I disliked it the most. I'm like, I don't know, man. You haven't met me.

[00:31:39] I well, I just if I don't see. Like Superman was already very lazily tired. Let's go with Superman 2025. I'm like, yeah, that was. And the art book for Superman was horrible. Oh, so stupid. Artwork. What artwork? Yeah, I know. I went through the book. Nathan Philon's head. All right. No, I was just mad because the stupid.

[00:32:05] They did a bait and switch deal with the book online. Yeah, it was that they posted a spread of. Superman in different suits and different layouts. And then they announced the book and then the book comes out. It doesn't have that spread in it. I'm like, you motherfuckers. But Thunderbolts, that pissed me off because Century is agoraphobic.

[00:32:34] In the comics, he's agoraphobic. He he doesn't go outside at all. Yeah, good personal challenge to overcome in a movie. But no, he's not. He even Soderbergh did it with Kimmy. But he's got PTSD in the fucking film. Like, can we move away from PTSD as a crutch? Yeah. Like, Christ. Like, it's 2026. These kids have dealt with PTSD. By this point, certainly.

[00:33:01] Let them deal with real alcoholism, real drug abuse, rape or some shit. Jesus Christ. I haven't kept up with all the Marvel comics of Star Wars, but. Yeah, me neither. Some of them seem just like, eh. They all lean towards OT way too hard and I hate that. But I just feel like they're also just wanting to do backstories and every character is like we already literally knew everything about him. Why don't you come up with your new original storyline again? No, like I like a reality. It's fun.

[00:33:31] That's why I like a new. If they did a Lord of the Rings comic, it would be amazing. It's like a history that the token estate hasn't revisited in a while. Something. That's why that's so funny. HP Lovecraft made Cthulhu completely open to public domain. Yeah, nobody's really capitalized on that except for a few companies. Yeah, it's free. It's completely free to fuck with.

[00:33:58] You can do all these crappy Amityville movies and you can't come up with a Cthulhu. It's wild to me. Like I look at Star Wars as a whole and. It's great, but the lens is so fucking small. It's like a football team that you know is going to be very overrated, but you want it to win. So better stuff can come when you transfer to a better franchise owner. It's it's the Ravens.

[00:34:27] But it's the Ravens. Not the Detroit Lions. It's the Ravens. But one of the star players lost a relative to death or some shit. And that's why they keep going back to him. And that's a true story, actually, because the one year the Ravens won the Super Bowl. So I've watched that and it just so happened that one of the players, their cousin, got shot to death.

[00:34:56] And I'm like, and then the commentators are like, oh, so and so played his heart out despite losing his cousin to such a grisly circumstance. And I'm like, they handed him that fucking victory. Are you shitting me? They handed it to him. Like, you can't fool me. Fuck. Yeah. Ravens win the Super Bowl. Oh, yeah, because it was handed to him because of the player having a death. If they hadn't had death, it's like the Oscar for actors that pass away. You're just like, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:35:25] No one saw that movie. Don't you even? Nobody wants to give a participation trophy more than on awards ceremony. It's like when they gave the Oscar to that forgettable Sandra Bullock, Tom Hanks movie with the annoying kid. Something, something. I forget what his name is. Like his father dies during 9-11 on the plane and already stretching it. Incredibility. But Max von Sydow wins an Oscar for playing a very believable mute in a scene. Like he says so much with his eyes and everything.

[00:35:54] But it's like that feels like just an honorary write-in Oscar just because he's been so good for years. Oh, extremely loud and incredibly close. I remember that. Yeah. I never watched it, but now I know what it's about. It sucked. But you will literally forget about it. I was pet sitting. But anyway, so yeah, Star Wars needs to reinvent itself and have better something because that writers group is so shit.

[00:36:19] Well, and I can tell that the heavyweights like Kevin J. Anderson, Timothy Zahn, and even Filoni are just so fucking exhausted for having to re-canyonize everything that was said to be non-canon. And so it's just like, okay, I think you've done your damnedest. And people who love it will still accept it. Just like anyone who likes anything pre-MCU is still going to like it.

[00:36:45] So it's just like just come up with something just a new way. We will accept new characters and everything if the talent is there. If you force it upon us, then yeah, you're going to get a bunch of just not interested. You see Dave has his beard shaped like George. I never noticed that, but I wouldn't doubt it. He did. Makes sense. I'm like, really? Like, give me a break. And I hate how people put Filoni on a pedestal.

[00:37:13] I'm like, you don't know the guy. You really don't know him. Sure. He worked on different projects. I didn't like him growing up. I couldn't stand many of the cartoons, but I also thought he was a nice individual and everything. But I'll just put it this way. He's not J. Michael Straczynski, who had experience doing comics, Saturday morning cartoons, and other syndicated shows before the power craze that was Babylon 5, Jeremiah, and Sense8.

[00:37:41] And at the same time, I've come to just kind of learn to take JMS, whatever he says, with a grain of salt, much like I would say a Stephen King type. Oh, J. Michael actually wrote a comic that you would like. I found it the other night. It's called Supreme Power. I've been meaning to read that, especially because race to canis on the Who Would Win has been prompting it. It's been making a resurgence. I guess it got reprinted.

[00:38:08] But yeah, for a while you would see fans saying anything he says is gold. It's like, no, no, no. This is not like politics where you're on one bandwagon or you're not. It's like there are so many angles to this. Yeah. Instead of whatever they say, boss, I'm like, it's OK to disagree with what they say. It was very clear that JMS was so opinionated and it cost him a lot of jobs. So it was Alan Moore. Well, yeah, and Alan Moore definitely came off as more prickly. But yeah, JMS, I can tell he's going to downplay.

[00:38:38] Well, I had to be a dick just to get what I wanted. It's like you should have just been done what you did when early years of B5, where you would politely acknowledge instead of fight back and then get dismissed from your shows or fired or disowned the final product. There are so many other ways to fight whatever the suits are telling you what to do without getting so many sides hurt. And I did hear AL Katz, who was one of the lead writers in Telstra the Crip.

[00:39:07] He wrote an episode of Jeremiah and he found the experience so annoying because it went from I'm writing in a script and getting paid to JMS saying, can you have my assistant co-write it with you so she can get paid? And he's like, so he left it. I love this quote. He says it on the how not to make a movie podcast is like, I admire your talent, JMS, but your people skills are shit. Absolute shit. Wow. He just he came off as very insecure, like to where Joe Dante.

[00:39:37] That's right. Mr. Interspacing Gremlins guy was involved with it. And JMS didn't want any other talent collaborating with it. So he talked to the main producer saying, you'll have me, but you need to fire Joe Dante and everyone else who's attached this before I come on board. It was like, oh, boy. So I think I think a lot of people, if they're not secure with something, if they've never done it, they don't want to challenge themselves. And it's like.

[00:40:03] And I think we're also getting to much like what we've seen with all the actors, you can you should not mistake working on it with the actual product. But most people I try not to read any headlines because truth be told, a lot of people like to have that poison the well before something was like, well, if you didn't know, it's only a bad movie. If you can tell something is awry and leaking so much shit is so stupid. It's like, great. Now I know who's in this, what's going on.

[00:40:31] And the plot twist ending you rewrote that. Yeah. Or the worst part is a month before it comes out. They're like, oh, yeah, we cut out like three major fights and had to trim down the runtime. Like now I don't want to see the movie because you cut out so much shit like now. I'm good now. It's going to be finished. For real. Yeah. Oh, they used to be a little more subtle with that voice to where you couldn't tell. But now it's gone.

[00:40:58] There is like, oh, yeah, something is absolutely a thousand percent missing before it comes out. Yeah, for real. It's really sad. I hate it so much. It's like I want to enjoy this, but it's like it just it baffles me. And the more I find different stories to read, the more I enjoy them because they're not just products of their time, but they still age gracefully in certain ways.

[00:41:28] That's why I like binging. You can tell who had a plan. And I see so many people saying you can tell. I'm like, I had no idea. The writing seemed the same. I wouldn't have known that that showrunner or head writer got pulled from the production because enough of them knew how to keep it firing on all furnaces. It's only bad when it just has a flat ending that contradicts everything that came before it in my mind. But but but I see so many. I know you've seen it.

[00:41:55] I get so annoyed when I see people mistaking what they want as it's bad. I'm like, hold on a minute. There were no rules like that set in place. You're making your own shit up now. You're making your own Wikipedia. Yeah, I had that argument today on Instagram over a comment on a video about Vegeta speech to Goku. It was so funny because it was my fans will make any. Yeah, and act like it's the most. Biggest upset in world history.

[00:42:24] And I'm like, I'm here worrying about world peace right now in Iran. What are you worrying about? Yeah, like I put mature ever. I wrote maturing is realizing that Vegeta was better than Goku. And because like his Goku literally just solos everything. Just like Batman's not the best. And he's a pedophile. And nobody wants to ever mention that ever. Or that he got raped. And it's like it's funny. And there's like, oh, you zero out of ten for trolling.

[00:42:54] I'm like, the fuck are you talking about? Wow. It's like, whatever, dude. It's like, it's not my fault. You don't understand what I'm saying when I've been clear as hell the entire conversation. I got in an argument just this morning on whoop versus progressive. The guy just wanted to argue, argue, argue and brought up stuff that was non-existent. I'm like, what do you think compliments the other? And I love how you say you don't have a problem with this when you clearly do. Yeah.

[00:43:21] It's like, if you don't like it, go back to what you were taught in English. Assuming you weren't falling asleep during that class. It's just like, there's a reason you don't like it. Take some time. Think. Yeah, for real. Say it out loud. I used to struggle with that myself. And then I was like, no, no. I don't need to be a chicken shit and look at someone else's review. I know why I don't like this. It's not even listed there. They're going to say it nicely. No, this is what drives me crazy. This person, the way they walk.

[00:43:50] This person, they're so stereotyped. I know they're playing a villain in every role. This character by this writer is just going to be very tacky. This person's going to have a cool social cause that won't serve the overall arching story. This person and how they do effects is going to distract me. This person and how they draw is going to really make me not enjoy the otherwise okay story in this comic. It's like there's so many other factors instead of just, yeah, they fucking suck. Go figure. For real. I don't know.

[00:44:20] I've never even heard of this motherfucker. You tell me why they suck instead of what you heard on Red Letter Media or Reddit. Echo chamber bullshit. Echo chamber. Well, I saw it on C-SPAN. It must be real. It's like, well, there's more. I saw it online. It must be true. Like, no. It's not how it works. How do you know it's not an AI video? I swear I'm going to ask them. Are you sure? Yeah, for real. Were you there in the Towersville? It's been so great having you on here. We'll return after these messages.

[00:45:19] We'll be right back. We'll be right back. MXTR and Halshack Radio, 3 p.m. Eastern Time. Then Thursday, get up bright and early with us on 95.7 Web Radio at 6 a.m. Pacific Time, 9 a.m. Eastern.

[00:45:46] Of course, we've got your Friday covered as well. 12 p.m. Eastern Time on MXTRFM and 10 p.m. Eastern Time, 9 p.m. Central, 1077 K-Twins. Find everything on Howshack.com. Howshack. If you like small town mystery, crazy news, and wild history, then the Florida Men on Florida Man podcast is for you.

[00:46:14] Each week, Josh Mills and Wayne McCarty bring you the absolute best Florida has to offer. So if you're looking for a show that's safe for the family, but funny enough to help you escape everyday life, then listen to the Florida Men on Florida Man podcast. That's Florida Men, plural, on Florida Man podcast. Do you ever find yourself thinking about who would win in a fight between Goku and Superman? Hi, I'm James Gavsey, and on the Who Would Win show, me and my co-host Ray ignore anything important happening in the outside world

[00:46:43] and debate fictional battles between characters from comics, movies, and video games. We got a new show every week, and almost always am I the winner. Yeah, not true, Ray. In the past, we've discussed such matches as Captain America vs. Darth Vader, Solid Snake vs. the Iron Giant, classic matchups like Robocop vs. Terminator, and even the Muppets vs. Sesame Street. That one was crazy. So if you're a fan of geek culture and love a spirited debate, check out the Who Would Win show wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:47:13] Or check us out at whowouldwinshow.com. Follow us on the web on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. The podcast is available on Podbean, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Anchor, Apple, and anywhere else podcasts are available. Feel free to review our show and leave comments on any of those sites. Thanks a million for listening.

[00:47:43] It's a jacked up.