Episode 668: Eating with Coworkers

[00:00:16] Greetings and thanks so much for tuning in to Drea’s Point of View. I am your hostess, Dreya. And in the next 10 minutes or less, I will be offering you my perspective on a topic that I feel passionate about. So please make sure that you are following along at Dreas Point of View on Instagram, Facebook and Threads, as well as Dreapoint on X.

[00:00:37] So this topic is one that I've been reading about on Threads and I had a few situations happen that were pertaining to this topic. So I thought I would go ahead and cover it and that is Workplace.

[00:01:06] Co-workers. So basically it was about co-workers in the workplace. I couldn't really think of a title. But the main theme was co-workers are not your friends. Now, I had to think back to my jobs. I've been in my current job the longest. And some of them are my friends. I'd say about 50% I'd call a friend and the rest are just co-workers or acquaintances.

[00:01:38] And then when I dig up my jobs I've had in the past, I had friends there. I don't see a problem with that. We spend half our lives at work. Why not make a friend? Maybe not go out of your way to make a friend, but you know, you talk to people, you see them every day. Sometimes you go out after work, you talk to each other on the phone and you're friends.

[00:02:01] There are times, well, there are times where they want to eat together. I've done that a lot in the past. Half those times I regretted it. You know, I said I have very few regrets in life. Some of those regrets were eating with others. And recently there was an invite. Now I had my own plans, okay? So there's that. And I didn't make it back in time to dine with them.

[00:02:31] But the host who I knew put an invite out and I said I had my own, you know, I had my own plans. And the next day I was told I was missed and it was, there were only a few of us who did not go. Okay, fine, right? So there was talk about, I asked how the checks went down and they were separate, which I would request.

[00:03:02] And maybe at least one person didn't like the food that was served. And then one person was like, well, you know, he's basically a kid, so his opinion doesn't matter. The lady, basically because he knew the owner. And I'm thinking to myself, why does he have to like the food? And that's one problem I have with eating with others is that people like the food shame you. The relationships that people have with food is personal. What they eat, what they don't eat, what they like, what they don't like.

[00:03:32] Why are we shaming people about food? You didn't like it, you don't like it, right? And then there's who like to pocket watch what they order, how much they order or how little they order. And then the conversations usually end up being about work. Who wants to talk about that? Or their personal lives. I don't want to hear about anyone's, I don't know, people tend to gloat. I don't need to know about your home life.

[00:04:03] Seriously, I really don't. Unless I ask, I don't know these people. I'll probably never meet them. I don't care. So keep that to yourself. Go and flex on Facebook. But then you have those who want to get in your business and like to compare. Like I have a lot of people who like to talk about their kids. And then when you say that you don't have any, there's either an awkward silence or somebody wants to question you.

[00:04:32] Oh, you don't or you don't want to. I think I would have had it by now. The ship has sailed and sank. So we don't have to talk about that. I don't really like to talk while I'm eating in the first place unless I'm on a date. And even then, let me enjoy my meal. People can ruin an experience. I don't know why people like to have people around while they eat anyway. You're eating. Talk afterwards.

[00:04:58] When you go places and watch people on the average, they're not talking. I guess it depends on where you go, what you have. But for the most part, people are in their phones. I like to people watch. I like to enjoy my meal. I like to take my time. And that's that. I don't really like to eat around people and I don't really feel bad about it.

[00:05:21] So fast forward, when the host was talking about it the next day, he said something about because the two of us didn't go. He offered me something and I said no. He said, well, that's why the two of you didn't go. And I told him, I said, well, I don't eat with everybody, which I don't. And one of the people, one of the people who, well, what it was, there was a bunch of people who were invited. I didn't like a few of the people, so I know I wouldn't have enjoyed myself.

[00:05:52] And he was saying that, you know, if it was just me, you could have went, no, that doesn't matter. If I don't like who I'm eating with, I'm not going to eat. I'm not going. Like I said, I had my own plans anyway, but even if I didn't, absolutely not. Why would I just go somewhere, just to say I went, knowing that I didn't like who was in attendance?

[00:06:15] And I think that's what a lot of people do, trying to fit in, trying to not be that odd man out. We're adults. We're not in high school anymore. We don't have to sit at the lunch table together. It's okay to do your own thing. So I will never feel bad about that. And you shouldn't either, because I'm sure this goes on quite often. Oh, what are you going to have for lunch? Oh, let's order this. Let's order that. I don't miss my office days at all.

[00:06:46] And I know that has to go on in a lot of offices, where this person doesn't necessarily eat with other people. And it's crazy how that happens. But yeah, it was just an interesting conversation about this meal. And like I told them, I don't eat with everyone else. The person who overheard them, I liked her, but I'm quite sure she told those who I didn't like, because they were her friends.

[00:07:15] And I don't care. Everyone I meet knows how I feel about them. So I'm unapologetic about that. But co-workers and workspaces are just, I don't know. You know, then you got those who like to be bullies and those who just don't talk to you. And it's just crazy what we have to go through to go to work.

[00:07:43] I could see why some people enjoy working from home. I don't have that option. I don't know if I would like that so much. I like being around people. I just like when people pretty much let me be me. Respect that. When I like to be around people, I like to be around people. But when it's my time, that's my time.

[00:08:06] My breaks, my time outside of work are my time outside of work. A lot of people won't understand that and they don't have to. But that's just mainly my thing. How do you feel about eating with your co-workers? Knowing that there are some that you don't like.

[00:08:34] Do you still go just because? Or do you just decline knowing that you wouldn't enjoy it? Because I've seen so many who just go. More people go than don't. Now, if someone said they were treating, I don't know. I've actually had that before where a couple of us went to eat and someone paid. Now, I was going anyway, but they paid and I didn't enjoy it.

[00:09:03] Because it was about everybody pretty much trying to get in everyone's business. And then they got around to me and was like, what's my story? I don't have one. I couldn't relate to half of them. And I was questioned because I chose not to have kids. Yet, the person who happened to be a guy who he didn't have kids of his own, but his wife did. So, I don't know why he cared about what I had. But I don't enjoy eating with my co-workers.

[00:09:33] I guess that's the title of this. Eating with your co-workers. I don't enjoy it. It's usually not a pleasant experience. So, I'd love to know your thoughts on this. thedreaspointofview.com is where you can leave it or on my socials. As well as catch up to my previous episodes. Also, I do have a free weekly newsletter that comes out on Saturdays. Drea'sPointOfView.Substack.com. Feel free to subscribe. As always, I thank you for listening.

[00:10:01] This has been Drea's Point of View. Perhaps you'll notice it in the video. I'll see if you guys will show this video. See you.