Dating & Relationships Roundtable Ep2 (with Kenya Metoyer, Reena Watts & Oreo Brewer)

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[00:01:05] You've had this wonderful organization going for quite a while where you focus on relationships, you give a checklist for both genders to work on. I came to know you just because you really got Instagram figured out. You have so many great videos that'll pop up. How long have you been doing this?

[00:01:21] I've been doing this since 2016. Oh, nice. Yes. And so I'm a relationship coach and what I do is I help individuals unlearn and relearn relationship skills through healing, self-discovery and self-reflection. So all those wonderful tools and checklists that you talked about, it's all so that we can get through things like that again by unlearning and relearning. I did see you stress that you have a PDF as well that users can check out.

[00:01:51] Yes. I really dug this because like many of the relationships, you know, you guys focus on what both mental health and fitness also point out in that the sign of insecurity, you know, is often the main factor in someone who determines with their imperfections and trying to work on that.

[00:02:11] But I like how you took it a step further by with this relearning process that you keep mentioning, because like it kind of goes back to how many who have gone to college sometimes forget that just because you're no longer studying doesn't mean you stop learning.

[00:02:29] Yes, absolutely. I call myself a career learner. If education was free, I will get three PhDs. I promise. I love it. And so my daughter just graduated college, but I was so excited when she was in college because I wanted to know, I was like, what's the lesson for today? What are you doing? But you have to continue to learn. And like you were saying, and I love the fact that you pointed that out, not just with education, it's about learning yourself too.

[00:02:56] Yes. And so again, that's why I love it. I gamify everything. Let me tell you, I will turn anything into a game. I will do relationship feud, relationship jinga, self help, uno, anything that I can come up with bingo, because that's how people you just retain it. You know, I remember if you think about it, when you think about when you were in school, grade school, I'm pretty sure you remember recess more than anything.

[00:03:26] Yeah. Or I'll take a step further. How about the fact that you're excited about lunch and then continually let down when it's not anything you would actually want to eat. Yes, exactly. Oh my goodness. It's the only thing you can eat. So you just got to have to, you get a job.

[00:03:48] Yes. And so that's why I, my angle is more of a coaching style as opposed to therapy and a psychologist. Because again, with coaches, if you think about it with coaches, what do they do? Think of any athlete, any football, they, they teach you the game, they teach you game. And every time you go out there, they have a playbook for you.

[00:04:13] And, and they put you out there and you do what you do. You use the tools and you practice every day into the big game. And essentially that's what I do for relationships. I'm going to coach you through the skills. I'm going to coach you. We're going to practice for singles, right?

[00:04:29] We're going to practice until you get into that relationship for marriage is ongoing. And just for yourself, even if you're in relationships, I have people, they don't just come just because they're couples. I have people that are in relationships, but still come to me for their own individual self-discovery.

[00:04:46] Would you say like many coaches, you take out the villainization of this whole process. You just say, Hey, you know, more than just to make a relationship work. It's also just how to keep it positive, non-toxic.

[00:05:00] Mm-hmm. Yes. It's all about maintaining. I'm about maintenance. So for marriage, my program is called marriage maintenance because it's just about the tune up. It is about maintaining, but with any other relationship as well, because you, you might hear many people say, Oh, they didn't do, they don't do what they did in the beginning to get me or so on and so forth. It's because it has to be an everyday practice. And you know what? I do want to point this out.

[00:05:26] A lot of people believe consistency means repetitive. So you'll hear things, you know, you'll hear people say, Oh, you know, yes, you know, exactly. And so that's not what consistency means. That's no consistency just means the same gestures, the same effort again. And so that's, again, the things that I go through with every individual.

[00:05:52] I think you've also had to point out. I don't know for a fact, I'm just saying, but I'm sure you've had to point out there's yes, there's everything else. You can't give anyone a maybe answer in any capacity. That just means no commitment. Yes, absolutely. And again, that's a part of something that you, again, you know, a lot of people like, Oh, people don't know what they want. Women don't know what they want.

[00:06:17] And that's true. That is absolutely true. They don't. Now when they say what they want, trust me, it's not actually what they want. And I'm going to give you an example.

[00:06:30] For an example, if they say they want, let's go with a real shallow, basic one that I can think of off the top of my head. If you meet a woman and she tells you that she loves fine dining, you know, and that's what she wants. She wants a man that can take her to fine dining.

[00:06:47] But six months down the line, you know, one day she doesn't feel like getting dressed. She doesn't feel like putting on makeup or anything like that. And now it's like, Oh, it's okay. And from there on, she gets comfortable with the Netflix and being at home watching movies. So it's like, that's not what you really wanted. You know, so I say that to say when people are putting out standards and saying what they want, they have to be careful because they seem more close minded.

[00:07:16] I'm glad you're factoring that in because I mean, I had to, at the end of the pandemic. And when we became a politically unsound human race, I did have to unfriend a lot of people who like I'd known for a while, but I, they, they really showed me their ugly side. So to speak, they were just saying, making statements about one another's gender and acting like, and I love how they, the worst thing you can do other than negate is act like that's not true.

[00:07:44] And I love how you're saying. And he's like, I'm not sexist. I just think they're all this way. I'm like, you tell me, you don't know what you just said without telling me you just said it. It's like, you can deny it, but you just literally just prove like, and I won't use any of their colorful language, but it was just like, right, right. Come on. What? You can't say that. Okay. You've learned one failed relationship that doesn't.

[00:08:11] No. Yes. And guess what? That says a lot about you. Maybe that's why they're all avoiding you. Cause you're coming up with these ugly ideas that you're misconceiving as a fact, you know, it's like, I've never been in any serious relationships, but I've always valued friendship and I've always valued just letting everyone know, Hey, thinking of you.

[00:08:33] Uh, I thought this would be up your alleyway. Oops. Sorry. You didn't find that meme or you didn't find that, uh, recommendation for that vacation plan. Interesting. I'll try better next time instead of, Oh, how dare you reject me? You know, it's like, well, I was wrong. That's up.

[00:08:52] Yes. You know, and a lot of people have become so defensive. Yes. So defensive and they just immediately, what is it go from zero to 100. And I'm not only talking, I go, so I also a mentor children. I'm a head mentor of a youth program.

[00:09:13] Yeah. Yes. And so it starts from the little people as well as the older adults. I'm talking, I could just be in the store. I was in the store one day and a mother was telling the girl, she was just like, Hey, stop that. And immediately she's like, Oh my goodness.

[00:09:35] Just immediately defensiveness. And that carries on into relationships. And again, not just intimate relationships. Just going back to what you said, valuing friendships. I say all the time, I've had more heartbreaks from my girlfriends, my best friends, like my female friends, then I've had from guys. You know what I mean? Cause those are my friends. Those are childhood friends. You're, you're, you're besties, you know?

[00:10:02] And I've had more heartbreaks from them as well. And so it's not just about the intimate relationships, but like to your point where you're saying, this is your character. You like to check on people. You like to say, you know, You like to throw them under the bus for being different than you when that's not a flaw. It's just they're different and you're being a jerk because they're different.

[00:10:26] Yes. I say it. I grew up in a loving two parent home and I don't take that as the cheat code because here's the thing. You and I, we run into people that did not.

[00:10:38] So they don't have, they don't see what we saw. They don't. And like you said, they see it as a flaw. And so why I started Kenya's keepsake, and this is a good segue of how some people see it as a flaw is that I was at 25 years old, I was engaged and unengaged to my daughter's father.

[00:10:58] I was with him trying to make it work because I grew up in a loving two parent home. So I'm like, this is what I have to do. But he just wasn't for me. And it was not a bad relationship in the sense that there was no cheating, fussing, fighting, none of that. We just weren't growing together. We were young. We were 18 when we started 18 going into 19 years old. And we had our daughter and life just started happening. You know what I mean?

[00:11:25] And so that's awesome. But at least I'm glad you could diffuse that maturely instead of, I need you to hate him. Cause you know, he doesn't like me. I don't like him. You know, exactly.

[00:11:35] No one got hurt in the process. I'll segue on that. Like I had two siblings, brother and sister. We're all very different, but we all, we weren't a very big churchgoing crowd, but we were a just, you know, be the bigger person. Don't go on one of us. Don't instigate. If something's wrong, you know, let's use some code words.

[00:11:59] We were using walkie talkies before cell phones were a thing and always be like, Hey, we need you to come over to the friend's house. They're being a pill and the mother's not intervening. You know, we were very good at spotting the elephant in the room. I think it also helped that anyone who was imperfect in my family, we didn't shame them, but we noted, Hey, you got to change something. I had an uncle who was very caring and actually stayed with us for a while. Cause long story short, he went through three different relationships and two thirds of them were very bad.

[00:12:29] One was a failed marriage where it was kind of abusive. Second was just a gal kind of playing games with them. Cause she had been in a few bad relationships and he should have seen the writing on the wall saying, you are giving your heart out to this person, but she's not giving any love back. You got to just in this, I can make it work. And so I think he went with a lot of false hope because he wanted to be told what to do, but he was giving so much energy to a plan that ultimately you could give it the best one.

[00:12:59] Wouldn't be good. So I do find it interesting that the final one worked because he just finally found that person who was also good at taking charge, but not going to take advantage of them. So yes, I've been fortunate to just not meet too many toxic people, but always spotted when it's happening in the world room. And that's why I just thought you'd be perfect for this panel. Long story short, I think a lot of people are afraid to sit down and have any kind of discussion. They're just kind of like, let's just get through it.

[00:13:29] It's just work. It's like, well, you got to treat it as more than work. You got to, it's a personal investment. And I don't mean, I mean, like I just got over insomnia two years ago. Congratulations. But I'm still learning new things. I'm still trying out new stuff and everything. You know, I have something that produces REM sleep, but also I, you know, I had to pick out a workout plan.

[00:13:52] And then I had to also find a workout plan is like, I can do this, you know, like it's still challenging to the body, but it's not going to take up too much time. And it's also not going to be something I dread doing, you know, and, you know, diet change up all that. But I was glad it happened now versus later on when at a bizarre time. Because like, I don't know, a lot of people like to get segued. And again, kind of like, what do you think I should take?

[00:14:18] It's like, okay, so I did, I did a mixture of suggestions from friends, family, doctors. And then I also had to say, you have a soul. You also have to give your input on this. Yes, right. Correct. I'm willing to spend this much amount, do this much meditation, work in this extra amount of just commitment. And others were like, just do this, just do that.

[00:14:44] I'm like, well, I hate to break it to you that there is no scientific backing to any of that. Warm milk, that's a fad. Melatonin is to encourage your brain. It doesn't solve it all because then it becomes dependent on it. So I had to also... Dependency, people overlook that part. Dependency is absolutely it. And I had to also just say, hey, but I didn't just stop there. I did take, finally take therapies. I took six sessions.

[00:15:13] Don't get me wrong, I'm going to return. I did take advance for better help. But it was one of those, I'm like, oh my word. I thought it was just, I was having negative thoughts because of under sleeping and doing the whole, oh, you know, my life's over. I don't, you know, it doesn't, I don't mean that. But if you say it enough times, it might be dangerous. Yes. And I, you know, I did some therapy and as I'm talking out, I'm like, oh my word. I had no idea.

[00:15:41] I had this small little things, you know, they often build up and I've been trying to comfort that and not make that build up. But I've actually had some other baggage from just high school that I didn't realize I carried that over into adulthood. I just thought, oh, that was dumb. But that was a long time ago. But I never addressed it. I was the quiet kid doing his homework, ignoring all the class clowns, but I didn't actually say anything.

[00:16:09] So I have all these other words that, you know, people think you have to retort or respond to something. He's like, no, no, that's, but you got to acknowledge it and then it dissolves. It's no longer baggage. And I'm like, wow. I thought, no, that all built up into adulthood mixed in with any other inevitably negative stuff you'll come across. Yes.

[00:16:33] I also have a course for healing your inner child as well, because a lot of people don't realize that it is for its childhood trauma or they need inner healing. And so my thing about the childhood healing is this. I want people to heal their inner childhood wounds because life is already crazy as an adult.

[00:17:00] And what happens is that if you don't heal your inner childhood, then you're just going to pile up all of the challenges that you're going to face in adulthood. And they're going to keep going and, you know, ever learn how to manage them. One of my signature talks and presentations is mastering conflict resolution. I take that one all across the world.

[00:17:23] And it is because you have to learn how to master and manage so that you can handle everything that comes across. But again, if you are just holding on to what happened to you in your childhood, you're not going to know how to manage your adulthood. Right. You never learned any of the skills. And I guess I take it. You also kind of open up. It doesn't have to be just one person initiating it.

[00:17:49] It doesn't have to be just a teacher or a parent, the information, because I see a lot of people, they kind of wait to get an invite to something. It's like, well, it doesn't have to be just your curiosity. Like, it's just there's all kinds of skills you want to learn along the way. Oh, right. Yes, absolutely. For me, you mean, I think I'm still confused about the question. Sorry, I should have worded it better. But everything from communication to, like you're saying, also just learning about better learning abilities.

[00:18:19] Like, I find, for instance, like, writing something down is like the oldest trick in the book. It just always benefits your brain. Yes. But many ways to fail a test to kind of learn a different way, too. Yeah. And, you know, I found a lot of people, you don't know what you don't know. And that's what I say all the time. So I teach a lot of, I coach a lot of things that I bring to the light.

[00:18:40] I'm telling 90% of the people, 99, you know, I'm going to say 95% of the people have only heard of the things that I coach for the first time. So like you said, communication. I coach the five communication styles. And a lot of people don't know that there's five. And then a lot of people only know about the five love languages, which is very popular. And those are important as well.

[00:19:03] But those essentially you, I mean, you should learn them when you're a child. But those essentially you learn when you're in a relationship. And like you said, you kind of fail. Right? So when you fail, you're kind of like, oh my God. You do have to fail in order to learn. Yes. So you're like, what is a love language? A love language. Yeah. But before the love languages, you should know your attachment styles.

[00:19:29] That is something definitely that people, I think people, not I think, I'm pretty, I know people skip a lot of these skills and tools, which is why I try to bring them to light. So before you know your love language, you should know your attachment style because that is what you learn in your childhood. Instead of this is a pickup book. This is a magic word. Yes. It's about what is your persona? How can you flesh it out? Yes, definitely.

[00:19:59] And I go into the apology styles. What else is there? Another one of my favorites is the five relations, the stages of a relationship. There's five stages of a relationship. And that's my favorite fun one because I do that one karaoke style. I mean, I teach it other styles, but I love when I do workshops. I teach that in college as well, but I teach it even in lounges and bars. What called it? Las Vegas. Las Vegas. Yeah, Las Vegas. Okay. Yes. Oh.

[00:20:29] Yes. Uh-huh. So that's my word. I'm born and raised in Los Angeles, California. But my daughter graduated from UNLV, and while she was there, she had brought me in to do the workshops for the students. Oh, nice. Thanks, daughter. Yes. Right. I know. I love it. But, yes, so there's so, again, there's so many things that people, again, that's why I say unlearn and relearn because, and again, I should just add, learn for the first time.

[00:20:58] Because there are things that, again, you don't know, but they're important once you come. So another thing, how here in Los Angeles, California, I hold monthly mixers, and they're called Battle of the Perspectives. It's because they're men and women. But from all stages, married, singles, couples, my mom, my dad, my aunts, people bring their moms. It's a mixed crowd. And we talk relationships. But I also, that's where in person, I do my lessons and I teach my games.

[00:21:26] But I have a panel, a panel of male and female. And that's where you can just ask questions and get different perspectives on things. And when I tell you that, it's so funny because I'll start off with a lesson. For an example, one, I started off with the five apology styles. And so now we're hours into my mixer and people are starting to yell out like, that's that apology style that we were talking about. So you see what I mean about the retention?

[00:21:54] You know, if you keep it in the sense to where people can remember them and retain the information, I know that they're going to walk away. That's why it's called Kenya's Keepsake, because you walk away with a keepsake anytime you encounter. You've seen a version of it, but you've forgotten the significance. So that's awesome that you're maintaining it for everybody. Yes, absolutely. Just another one, just kind of to bring it all around. Why do you think you've been so good at just getting everyone comfortable with this?

[00:22:24] You know, because like there's so many who are great at, you know, putting up a study template, but not necessarily great at being a teacher. How did you think you got comfortable at just sharing all this material and then telling everybody? And by the way, guys, you got to participate. This isn't just me give you advice and you study, you know? Right. Yes. It's in me. It's just in me. It's the type of person that I am 24 seven. I've been this way with my family. I'm the family entertainer and the host.

[00:22:52] And my daughter is the same now that she is here. That's the mini me. So it's something that is just I've always been a family person. Again, growing up in a two loving parent home and just like I host Christmas. Christmas is my favorite holiday and now it's my daughter's as well. So we always get ready for Christmas to be in my house. It's not even one of those where it's an invitation thing. Everyone just knows they call like what's the theme this year? What are we doing?

[00:23:21] And so I'm just and everyone just says that I'm they're comfortable. I'm very open and welcoming and very understanding, too. I really, really. That's the thing. I always dissect. This is one thing about me I love. I love movies and music. I will dissect a song all day, every day because there are certain things that I want people to understand.

[00:23:47] The other thing that I do when I try to drive people in their head is these misdiagnosed words and these misused words, gaslighting, narcissists, all of those. I always try to bring those back because no one really understands what they mean. But what I always want to bring back is the word understanding. That is the end of all being. That is the bread of butter and everything.

[00:24:14] If we take out gaslighting, ghosting, all of those words that we haven't heard in I don't know. We've never heard those before and bring back the word understanding. I think that we would as a people not a not be so defensive and and communicate more effectively. That's a good point, too. Like, for instance, I had a grandfather who was a colonel, but he was never the just say yes, sir. So he'll shut up. We were never.

[00:24:44] We were always like, do we do you actually understand? You know, like you might not like how someone is saying something. They got to work on that. Oh, my goodness. That's a huge one. I talk about that a lot, too, is tone. And so going back to the five communication styles, the most effective one is the assertive communication style. Assertive. Yes.

[00:25:07] But the problem is, yes. Passive, passive community. Sorry. Passive aggressive. Passive manipulative. Those are it. So assertive is the one. But again, people, you know, take that one out of all the ones the wrong way and don't

[00:25:37] use it effectively. Absolutely. So it sucks. People have become more emotionally than logically. Yeah. Emotions can be misused. I mean, I just kind of like sort of what I have to do with the media when someone forwards me a clickbait story is like, I don't know what reaction you're looking for, but there's no right answer to that particular one. So this one celebrity hates something I like. Yeah. And it's a free country. So let's move on.

[00:26:08] But he doesn't like what I like. OK, I can't help you there. He doesn't like what you like, but that's OK. You can still like his material. Oh, no, I can't. Mm hmm. But I'm glad you brought up assertive because like, yeah, it's not meant to be passive aggressive. It's meant to be. I call it meeting someone halfway. Yes. Because then, yes, if you keep giving the same answer, then it does unintentionally look like you might be ghosting or not trying as hard as you could or communicating the best. You know?

[00:26:38] Mm hmm. Yes, exactly. I mean, when I do these Zoom chats, I do have to also just say, OK, well, shoot, how would we try this day that day? Mm hmm. And, you know, it didn't always work out. But, you know, I tried to shuffle around whatever I could. And instead of just be like, oh, so and so flaked. It's like, no, no, no, they didn't flake. We just didn't figure out a time that worked for everybody. So. Yes. Yes.

[00:27:04] And also, too, it's just like you have no idea what's going on on the other end. No. Of someone. Like, I have encountered so many angry people. I was I went to Starbucks in the drive through and a guy swore that I cut him off and got in front of him. And he jumped out of his car on me to really curse me out. And I was just like, oh, my goodness. You know what I mean? But I was just like, you know.

[00:27:32] Don't need this at six in the morning. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know what he's going through. But he didn't know what I was going through either. It just really could have been ugly. But the fact that, you know, I was the level headed one and I was just like, OK, you know, but. You were the last person he could be angry at when he's probably. Exactly. Angered 500 people in traffic. I don't know. Yes. Yes. People can unintentionally sound like a Stan or a Karen.

[00:28:00] I had to stop my father when he was seeing someone doing a legal U-turn at a traffic light. And I was like, don't be a Stan. He's like, you think that's funny? I'm like, well, here's the thing. I don't know the guy. Why do I care? It's not like he ran over someone or parked in the handicap. He just did a U-turn. Let it go. Yes, exactly. Didn't. There are worse things to be angry about. You know, it's not like he hit a dog. It's not like he shot someone.

[00:28:29] He just did a U-turn in traffic. And that's the other thing, too. I think a lot of people love to take the smallest thing. And don't get me wrong. We've all been there, but we have to let it go. Like, I've been flipped off on the highway. Yes. And it's like, I can't even tell you what that person's face looked like. It's irrelevant. I'm just laughing at it because I'm like, of all the things. Okay. What a way to start my morning. Yes. Yes. And, you know, it's just there's 24 hours in a day.

[00:28:59] That is 30 minutes, five minutes or whatever. Keep going because you still have 20 more hours to go. Like, it could turn around. Everything can turn around. I don't wish there will upon all these things. I don't wish there will at all. I'm just like, yeah, okay. I'm sorry they were rude. Hopefully they learn. Maybe they won't. But I'm not going to meet them again. I hope they don't harm anyone else. Whatever. I'm just moving on. Yes. I think classes are still going and they're both online or in person?

[00:29:28] Online now. Yes. Online. The in-persons or the mixers. Yes. The classes are online right now. And I'm going to start. I had a community going. But I'm going to start up another community. And what the community is, it's more like a, like I said, like a school, like a university to where it's not social media. It's not a Facebook group or anything.

[00:29:55] It is actually, you will log in and it will be Keepsake University. And there it will be, it's like a, what do they call it? Like a curriculum. Got it. Like a forum. And I will have all sections, singles, married, couples, and whatever sections that I have. And I might add a youth one. I'm not sure if I'll add the youth one yet, but I might because when they get online, they are not worrying about going to Keepsake University. They're going to YouTube.

[00:30:26] So. And they got no excuse to not get the work. Yes, exactly. So what happened after that? It's all at our fingertips. Yeah, you got all the PDFs. Yes. So what happens after that is that everybody will be blocked from their, whatever they're not. So the married people won't get to see the singles courses and the singles courses won't get to see that all of them.

[00:30:52] But there will be a central, a central corner that I have where we'll all get together. So I'll put in daily prompts. People can go in and walk. But I'll also have sections where all my courses will be lined up because they'll be self-paced my courses. So you can go in there and click on, like I said, just like the university. You can see their progress. I love it. I love it. Yes. And I can give a certificate at the end as well as different prompts for everybody to engage. I'll give challenges.

[00:31:21] I might wake up one morning and put a five day challenge up there just for, you know, something like that. So that will be coming soon. Yes, exactly. Because again, social media, all of that good stuff. It crashed the other day and I'm thinking to myself, what if all this goes down? How are people still going to school? Was it Blackboard? Oh yes. It's similar to Blackboard. I was trying to explain to my daughter. I was like, you remember Blackboard? She was like, no mom, we don't have that.

[00:31:55] Like I was there when the towers fell basically. Yes. Yes. So it's similar. And I love that again, because I mean, social media can be, that's just so what it is. But for there, it's more intimate. It's more, like you said, I can see the progress. I can see that people is actually doing the work. It's one thing to post like a question on social media every day. People might come in. People might engage.

[00:32:23] I have my same people that engage. Then I'll have some pop up if somebody really wants to say good. I'll be like, oh, hey, how are you? But in the community, you can just see everybody. It's the same thing in person. So my mixers that I have in person, I've been doing those since 2016. And it has become a family. I have some of the same return people that buy a ticket every single time. They know each other. When they come in, it's like a family.

[00:32:51] And now, then we get new people as well. So, you know, it's just the same thing. I want it to be online as well, because you have people from different states. That's lovely. That really, again, they've decided it's not just something fun to do because we're bored, we're older. It's not just we love the teacher, although I'm sure that's part of it. It's not just, you know, I want a challenge. It's also, it's like, it is the essence of self-help. Like, yeah, let's do something new and involving, but also evolve. Yes.

[00:33:21] Love it. I was looking forward to this, but like, this is really enlightening. This is really delightful. So, yeah, you got the link tree. I'll be sure to link that in the chat as well. I'll keep you updated on this panel. And I'll be sure to tag you in it. But, no, this is what dynamite is. Thank you so much. I love it. And this is what keeps me going, too. Like, it's not even about, I'm telling you again, 2016, even with pricing and things,

[00:33:50] it's not even about the finances of it all. And I just, people are like, oh my, you're still charging 2016 prices? Like, no, you have to go. I'm like, it's not about that. Like, I just love the delight of it, like you're saying, and just getting it out there. Because even talking, I learn something every day. Every discussion is different. Something I said to you today, I probably never said before, ever.

[00:34:17] You know, and that's the energy that I love. Because it's just the light bulb. You're diffusing the negative. So that doesn't infect us like a virus. You know, that doesn't, if you keep spreading stuff like that, it's terrible. Yes, and that's what I love. I always turn a negative situation into the, so what I tell my daughter, she's 22. She just turned 22 last week. That's why December, this season is always very busy for me.

[00:34:44] She, her birthday, well, there's Thanksgiving, because again, we're big family people. So we start, well, my daughter's a holiday person. She starts Halloween. I've never been a Halloween person. So how she became a Halloween person is beyond me. But then we get to Thanksgiving and her birthday's December 4th. Then we get into Christmas and then my birthday's January 6th. So it's always tough because I'm between like, oh my gosh, I have to wrap this work up the end of the year. Then I'm like, oh my God, holiday time. Always a great time. Absolutely.

[00:35:15] Yes. So no, this was great. I'm so glad that we actually got this on the books and I'm so excited. And you have been a pleasure. You, oh my gosh. Like I said, I've had my life of moments and just in this discussion too. So it's always great. I look forward to the next time. Yes. Sounds good. Do you have any proposed date for the panel? Definitely in the summer as well. Oh, perfect. Sounds good. Sounds good.

[00:35:44] Well, I look forward to speaking to you again. You aced it. Thank you so much. And you have a wonderful best night. Keep reaching for the sky. You too. Thank you so much. We'll return after these messages. If you like small town mystery, crazy news, and wild history, then the Florida Men on Florida Man podcast is for you.

[00:36:10] Each week, Josh Mills and Wayne McCarty bring you the absolute best Florida has to offer. So if you're looking for a show that's safe for the family, but funny enough to help you escape everyday life, then listen to the Florida Men on Florida Man podcast. That's Florida Men, plural, on Florida Man podcast. Hey, it's Brent Pope, the host of Breakfast with Brent Pope. You've seen me on some of your favorite TV shows saying things like, give it up, Jimmy. You got to sink this put to win. On Breakfast with Brent Pope, I sit down with guests for the entertainment world, and we

[00:36:40] do it all over breakfast. Or should I say breakfast? Every week on Breakfast, you get inside Hollywood info and tips, great breakfast wrecks and booty debates. Most of all, you get the most delightful 30 minutes of your week. So dig in. It's breakfast time. Listen at breakfast.com, Apple Podcasts, or wherever fine podcasts are found. I have 17 years of marriage under my belt. We could talk about that. Nice. Yes. You have every right to speak. You've actually encountered it, and that's a great number. Thank you.

[00:37:11] Yeah. So I think that there's pluses and minuses to getting married young. I think the pluses are you have one... I don't know. I feel like you kind of grow up together, and you have less expectations, but then you could struggle financially or not really know what you want, and you haven't really experienced much of life or standing on your own two feet. So there's a lot of growing up you got to do. Yes. Oh, my goodness.

[00:37:40] So that was my parents. Like, my mom got married right out of high school, and she's only been with my dad, and it was kind of a little bumpy there for a little bit. My parents have stayed together, but I've watched that with some of my girlfriends, too, because I grew up in Kentucky, and a lot of people got married out of high school. I personally wanted to live in a big city, stand on my own two feet, make my own money, know that I could do that. And then I was like, hey, I want that to be optional. Are you cool with that?

[00:38:07] So I think when you get married in your late 20s, mid to late 20s, you know more about the world, and you're able to bring more to a relationship because you've done some work on yourself, and you've learned some more lessons from the world. I would have made a much worse decision in my early 20s than in my late 20s. I think we all would have, because even if you're the A-list student or...

[00:38:35] good at one thing, we like to assume we got most of it down. Everyone, you know, the adults, they're full of it. Even if we don't truly think it, we kind of do. If that makes sense? A hundred percent, yeah. Like, you think... You guys are so cool. The world revolves around you. You have such a smaller worldview. And... Yes. And that comes from not being healed. If you're not a healed person, you're not gonna do things. Why do I need to learn this language?

[00:39:03] Why do I have to learn this and that? And it's like, well... And that's why there's such a barrier between people. Because there's somebody who is always unwilling to learn. They're unwilling to unlearn and absorb new material so they can evolve. That's why I see so many people... Like my artist friends, I'll see some of them still stuck in their same perpetual cycle. And I'm like, you could evolve. I know you can. And I see some of them evolve.

[00:39:32] And it's like, wow, you really evolved your craft. And it shows. And they appreciate that. Because it's the good feedback they want. Whereas people don't want to be healed. And I understand why. They either want to be a walking pity party or they just don't care. Me, I want to be healed. And I am a semi-healed man.

[00:39:56] And I graciously am happy that I'm in that part of my life now. And it's weird. Like, I never thought... Getting there. It took me... Let me see. I didn't feel sexually attracted in my own skin until my, say, 32.

[00:40:23] Like, when I'm standing in the rain late night, I feel sexually attractive. Any other time of the day, I feel ugly. And it's a hard thing to... What is it about the rain? It's... I don't know what the hell. It's relaxing. It's a cleansing thing for me. I cleanse in the rain. I sit there. My sister has a similar kind of attitude about that. I just... I don't like it because I don't get anything done. But I did find it kind of beautiful growing up. Yeah.

[00:40:51] Like, rain is a cleansing tool. It really is. Like, summer rain... It's the world speaking for everybody. Yes, it really is. Because it's... You know, if you can't cry, you can use the rain to mimic crying. If you have had a rough day... Like, the best feeling in the world... And people... There's layers of tired. There's work tired. There's passion tired. There's kid tired. Yeah.

[00:41:21] Parenting tired. There's son tired. Son tired is the best. The best feeling for me... Combination is son tired... Or stress tired, too. So, son tired plus heavy rain overnight is the ultimate relaxer. Because you sleep like a mountain. Like, you... Once you're done outside, you dry off. You go and get in bed. Cover up, fan on. Whatever else helps you sleep.

[00:41:50] And you go to bed and you wake up. And you feel so refreshed. And your skin is super soft. Yes, they really do. I encourage more people to... Sit naked in the rain. And just be in it. No phone. Nothing. Just you and the rain. That's all you need. With the rain wash your way. Wow. Okay. Exactly. Because I've... When I was on Whisper for a while... Before they took away all the good groups.

[00:42:20] And this is how I got a lot of my info on dating with Stu. Uh... Pregnancy groups. Because I was curious about pregnancy and how that worked. And... Raising kids. I had so many conversations on there. And I never asked for anything. That's the one thing that dudes need to stop doing when it comes to dating women. Is asking for pictures. Nothing is free.

[00:42:45] If you ask for pictures, you have just immediately declined any further involvement with this woman. Whoever it is. Well, that's good you learned that. Yeah, for real. It's funny. I never asked for pictures. Never. And these conversations I have are so deep. Some of them are like... You know, I don't have anyone to talk to because I'm stuck at home with kids all day. And I talk nothing but kid with kids. I need an adult to talk adult with. And I'm like, oh, okay. I can do that.

[00:43:15] And it's not that... It's not even dirt. It's just like, how have you been? What are you up to? How was your week? Did you get everything accomplished? What are you into? What's your favorite glass to drink out of? What's your favorite flower to go pick? What's your favorite meal to cook when you're in a bad mood? What's your late night snack to go to? And... It's a very casual. Yeah, it's a casual conversation.

[00:43:43] What show do you watch the morning after? Yes! There you go. There you go. And these questions that I ask, they are important integral because you learn about a person through questions. Not the base bullshit. What's your favorite color? Like, give me a break. Give me something more unique. And I think you should put all this in the show notes. This could be helpful for people. I have done... I've already done this. I've done many dating vids on my YouTube.

[00:44:12] Eating tips, dating red flags, all that. Too bad Oprah isn't, like, bringing people together anymore. I know, right? Like, God. Oprah was so organic back then. Yeah. It's so wild. Like, everything that's a cultural touchstone in pop culture is organic. And it's so rare. And it doesn't happen anymore. Like, it used to be. It doesn't happen for 20 years. I know. It's rare, though. It's very rare. Because... So true.

[00:44:42] You think about that. Like, you see how technology has evolved. You go from a telephone to a cell phone to apps. We don't know how good we got it. I know. And it's like, communication is so key. That's true. I actually wanted to say that. Like... Yeah, that's the big... You really have to... If... Podcasting helps with that. Yes. You really have to get good at communicating to keep relationships working. Bingo. You too.

[00:45:09] If you don't know how to talk to people, if you... The biggest thing, don't talk at someone. Never talk at someone. That will kill them immensely inside. Because they'll be still shrinked down. And you can... Sometimes you'll see it visibly. Or you'll hear it in their voice. Can I ask you something super personal since you brought it up earlier? Yeah, go for it. I'm an open book. Okay. What is the PTSD from?

[00:45:37] And you said like you hit yourself and you had picking scabs or something. What... Tell me how... What happened there? My CPTSD... It's childhood post-traumatic stress disorder. Okay. That stems from moving at age 10 from my childhood home. And then coming into my younger...

[00:46:03] My tween years and then my teens, my mother is a narcissistic sociopath gaslator. And she... How did you learn all those words? A lot. It took me a long time to understand what was going on with me. There's a lot of things she said that were waiting to be. Top three. I'm a disgusting fat slob who will never make anything of himself. That's hurtful. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:46:32] And she always dug into me about that. Number two is... What was two? Did she ever apologize? Her motto is... I'm perfect and nobody will be perfect like me. She has a massive ego. And I've yanked her up on her so many times. And she'll make the talking hand gesture at me or tell me to go back to my lair, which is my room. Oh, jeez. Yeah.

[00:47:00] She is not a nice person. She'll have her days where she's decently nice. But I know underneath of it, she is not a good mother at all. Like she used to... I used to get beat with the belt, shoes, vacuum pipes, spoons. And you say she had a bad relationship and she would take her anger out on other people? No. She comes from an alcoholic background.

[00:47:30] Her parents were alcoholics. And it's irritating. And it's so frustrating to just be around her. So I stay the hell away from her. I can't stand being around her and her whole demeanor. What about your dad? Which one? I have three. I guess start in order. All right. Let's see. Bio dad is black. He disappeared. He had me when he was 50.

[00:47:58] And then he disappeared when I was 14 months old. Oh, man. Yeah. So I have baby daddy issues. My second father, Jimmy, he was all right. He was funny. Like he was a really nice guy from what I remember. But my memories are hazy because PTSD and memory loss. But Jimmy was cool. I liked him. He was a fun guy. And then he left because she didn't like him and thought she could do better.

[00:48:27] And then she actually did better. And then my third father, Dino, he's been in my life since I was three. And he's been around the longest. But he works third shift. So he isn't around to see what goes on. And he stays out of the arguments. He doesn't get involved. Because he's like, that's between you and her. And I'm like, no.

[00:48:56] And I'm thinking, I was like, no, parenting is a 24-7 gig. You don't get to check in and out. And I brought that up because we were actually in family counseling at one point. And yeah, it was going good. We had three or four sessions and things were starting to turn around. And then the counselor suggested marriage counseling for both of them because their marriage is a shit show. They don't share the same bed. He sleeps down.

[00:49:26] Yeah. He sleeps downstairs when he's home on the weekends. They're not even loving towards each other. They don't even act married. It's sad. And that reflects on me because I'm like, if I go into a relationship in the future, is that what's going to happen to me? You know, like that plays off on me and my sister too. Dino's great. He's an awesome guy. He's a hard worker. So he was self-deprecating kind of way. Yeah, he does.

[00:49:56] He's so nonchalant about things. He doesn't care what you do as long as it's not going to get you in trouble. Whereas Beck, my mother, she is so hardcore. She likes to pull the Christian card. Oh, Lord. Yeah. And she's not. We all have a family member like that, but it's always surprising every time. Isn't it funny? It's like, oh, you're judging me. You know? Yeah, she's a judgment.

[00:50:25] Why don't we have Thanksgiving together? We just meet at the family party. She is the most judgmental I have ever come across. And I mean that wholeheartedly, how she is. But I feel like you've given like some good apologies. And I feel like apologies are really hard to give. Like, do you want a better relationship with her? And if you had one, do you think that that would help your future relationships? That's a good question. It is a good question.

[00:50:54] Like when I was younger, and this is how polar opposite she is with raising me and my sister. When I was little, I got away with everything. I had no limits at all. Whereas with my sister, she switched everything up. Jean could not watch Ghostbusters, the original, until she was 20. Ah, jeez. So she would gatekeep just random stuff that didn't have anything to do with it. Like, you can go to Chuck E. Cheese, but she can't. It's like, okay.

[00:51:24] Perfect. Yeah, perfect gatekeeping example. The other night I was in the living room eating dinner. And I brushed crumbs on my pants. And she stopped what she was watching. And she's like, you need to eat at the table. And I couldn't eat at the table because she had all her craft stuff on the table. And I told her that. And I pointed out. And to be a hypocrite, like she is, she's eating in the living room. And I'm like, well, you're eating in the living room. Well, it'll make a mess. I'm like, shh. And we have three cats.

[00:51:53] So they track fur, litter. Yeah, cats. There's no such thing as a cat that's neat. It's not a nature. And I'm like, how can you be a hypocrite when you do this? And she said, I don't want to hear it. Blah, blah, blah. You need to do this. You need to do that. And I'm like, you need to grow up. You need to get a therapist. I'm in therapy. Me and my sister are both in therapy because of her. Oh, Jesus. She's so toxic.

[00:52:20] I have never met someone so toxic in my life. And people are like, well, how are you so nice? And you live with that. I'm like, good question. People are like, how are you not an alcoholic? I wish I was. Which brings me to my second worst thing she's ever said to me. And never given an answer to. And I asked her this numerous times. I was like, would you rather? Because we get in so many heated fights. We'll weigh on you. Even if it is the most petulant thing you've talked about. Yeah.

[00:52:49] What were we even fighting about? I'm so mad right now. I was like, would you rather me be an alcoholic addict running the streets and bringing it home? And her response is absolute silence. I brought that up in a video. And someone pointed out like, that is really sad that your own mother wouldn't give you an answer to that. And it's sad. And I'm like, yeah. Does she avoid conflict? Or? She likes, she's passive aggressive.

[00:53:19] You ever had a passive aggressive person in your life? Yeah. Yeah. She does that. She'll leave passive aggressive notes around the house. She'll be passive aggressive about little things. Have you ever tried to like, respond comedically? Yeah, I have. I've pointed out the hypocrisy of it. Kids are good for that. Yeah. She don't like me at all. She'll pick fights with me. Never my sister. Never. But you're still living with her. How old are you?

[00:53:49] 38 this year. And you're living with her still? Yeah. I did move out at one point, but that didn't pan out because that friend turned out to be toxic as well. That was a right situation. Wrong timing. Because he was going through. His ex-wife left him for her ex. Or ex. How chiss. Yeah. It was a good situation for the first month. And then he really showed his true colors. And he got on me about my weight.

[00:54:19] He made little quips here and there. He came to a head when he woke me up twice in the same day accusing me. And I let him have it. I was like, nah, you're not doing this to me. And I laid him out so damn good that he... We're the same height. Minus two inches. I'm 6'4". He's 6'2". Tried to tower over me. I'm 6'4".

[00:54:48] 400 pounds. He tried to tower over me. No, dude. That's not how this is going to work. And he stuttered over his line trying to make me feel bad. Like, nah. And I held my ground. I glared at him so hard that he just got quiet. And it pissed me off. Because I'm like, you gave me a good living situation. And it was a good deal.

[00:55:13] But he accused me of being like his ex-wife's sister. And I'm like, no, I'm not like her at all. And I didn't yell. I was like, no, I'm not like her at all. I'm not your ex-wife's sister. So you can kick me with that. God, it was a beautiful living situation at first. I loved it. He had a beautiful house. Lots of room. I had a great bedroom there. I ended up moving back home. Nice. So it was pretty much you're getting into these lose-lose scenarios.

[00:55:43] Yeah, it was a learning curve for me. Because my aunt even pointed out to me. And I wish I'd listened to her. Because she's so genuine. And she's like, you know, as you're older now, it's not the same as when you were kids. And I'm like, oh, we're good friends, though. And I kept pushing that at her. We're good friends. We'll get along. And I should have listened to her. I didn't. Now I know. And I haven't talked to him since I moved back home. I was there. Then his friend moved in. Then his mom's friend moved in.

[00:56:13] And then things got toxic midway through that. It was a little crowded. Yeah. Yeah. And I understand crowded. I really do. I get that. And it was just, it was a right time. Because, you know, he had a place for me to go to. But it was the wrong situation. Because he was in a bad place. And trying to heal. And I get that. I know suddenly I understand that now.

[00:56:41] But he didn't have to act the way he did towards me. That's what really pissed me off. I'm always loving just some of his in-depth conversations. But, I mean, also, this is good for just when you're this. When you're post-relationship. And you bring up stuff like this. Everyone has their own quirks that they can accept each other for. I did actually have some research that actually kind of plays into this. Cool. Tell us. So, I dared to go onto Match.com. And I saw that.

[00:57:12] Not Christian Mingle? I saw that they actually noted how mutual respect, effective communication, and trust were, again, an impressive 68% that were confident that these skill sets were the most vital. But I loved how they actually broke down the different generations on communication.

[00:57:37] And there were some other articles that pretty much proved a lot of your guys' previous points from just everything. Like, Forbes had one. Pew Research had another one on how dating got harder post-COVID. But, yeah. No. For communication and communicating needs in a relationship, a skill that's strengthened with age. 68% of Generation X swore by this.

[00:58:06] 71% of Boomers swore by this. 68% of Millennials swore by it. And 59% of Generation Z swore by it. So, I thought that was an interesting gap there. Why is it less? Yeah. Yeah. Can you repeat that one more time? Just the three things? Going up to that. Yes. Trust, effective communication, mutual respect. Okay. I like that. That's true. And... Trust builds on everything. Totally.

[00:58:36] Like, I learned that with my friend Chris. Because... Like, I have... Like, I'll be in therapy and shit. And I'll bring something up. And I give context on it. But I don't go into, like, particulars. And I've learned that, you know, if you tell people secrets and shit from a friendship or anything, you know, you're betraying their trust right off the bat.

[00:59:01] Like, if you go into anything, friendship or relationship, and you tell someone else what you talked about, keep it to yourself. If someone is being vulnerable... We're talking about you. Not everyone else has wronged you. Yeah. It's like, if someone is being absolutely vulnerable with you... And I never understood that. Because I'm in touch with my emotions all the time. I have my bad days. I have my excellent days.

[00:59:29] I have my absolute shitty days. And, you know, I'm so used to that. And it's amazing. Like, my one friend, Sam, she's cool. And she's been trying to lose weight and stuff so she can get back to her old figure. And she had a kid. So she's struggling with... Yeah, she's struggling with the weight. And I'm like, you're still beautiful. Like, why? And she used to be a model. So she has that model mindset too.

[00:59:58] And I'm like, you know, you're still beautiful. Your husband hasn't said no to you. So you're doing good. But I get why it's important to feel sexually confident and attractive in yourself. Because you... It's grilled in... It's ingrained in your brain that you have to be beautiful. You have to hold yourself to a certain set of standards.

[01:00:26] And you want to have that right body. And she would post little snippets on Facebook from her page and whatnot. I was watching the bits because they're funny. Because she'll go over, like, what she's doing and how she's stitched up her diet. I love it. It's fun. She's a good woman. And she showed her stomach. And she's like, I'm being vulnerable here, guys. And she's like, I want to get rid of this belly fat. And it's a little pudge.

[01:00:56] And I'm like, that's sexy. Like, I like pudge. That shit is sexy. Like, oof. And some women I get, they're so insecure about that. I understand the insecurity because it comes from men being assholes. I used to be an asshole. And wanting, you know, the Victoria's Secret figure or some shit. I don't care for that. That's just no thanks for good.

[01:01:27] But I've learned that I used to accept people based on beauty and looks and how they acted. I was, but I'm all looks and beauty back then. Whereas now, I'm more about personality and how you carry yourself versus how you look. I think social media is exacerbated. Yeah, that too. Yes.

[01:01:54] Well, that is, I was definitely going to say People Magazine in the 2000s really kind of killed what we look for in beauty and everything. Max, especially. Oh, yeah. And not to mention how they would encourage the, and I think this does play into dating. You would see so many columns which were clearly aimed at a guy audience. And I think that's where a lot of the toxicity came from is like asking perverted questions. Yes. Yeah.

[01:02:23] Did you guys read Cosmo? No. I, Cosmopolitan, I think I saw it promoted, but I never, is it very derogatory? No, I just think that. Oh, the women's magazine. It has like the catchy, you know, hey, if you want to be good in the bedroom, these eight things or whatever. That's what I noticed with all of us. I'm like, oh, go on now. There's no way you're going to break that down. Yeah. As P13 as they could be in a magazine. Jeez.

[01:02:53] No, sex is way more complicated. Like, the one thing that I knew that I know, I can relate to this because I've only had one sexual partner in my life. And that was my ex-fiance. When we were going to have sex the first time, like the mood was there and everything was right. And we got into bed and all of a sudden there was that cold emptiness between us.

[01:03:24] Like, and I didn't understand it. And like, it hit both of us at the same time. Like, we were so, one minute we were horny and the next minute, nothing. And it was just still. And it was scary and eerie for both of us. And she's like, what's wrong? And I was like, I don't know. What do you, I don't know. And we both kept saying that. And then she started crying. And then I started crying.

[01:03:52] And I, yeah, I held, we held on to each other after that. And it was just so sad. I didn't understand, like, what the hell happened? And, like, how does that, what made that happen? You know, to this day, it still boggles my mind. It's like, what happened? Like, why did it go from horny to cold stillness like that?

[01:04:18] When you first got engaged, Rena, was religion ever a topic? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, it was. And, you know, in the past I dated people that had a different religion than me. But I honestly think it's easier if you have the same religion. Yes. Totally. Oh, man. I mean, it's a big, it's a big thing. It's how you're raised. It's what you're going to revert to. It's what holidays you want to celebrate.

[01:04:49] Even if you're cool with it. Are your folks cool with it? That's always hard when it's instilled. And they're going on a blood oath to where it's just like, ah. Blood oath. If it takes me going to church every other Sunday, I guess we'll do that. But, ah, yeah. I definitely think you got to talk about it. Yeah. No, no. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we shouldn't talk religion. Maybe not on the first date. Yeah, for real. That's really too much. I'm not going to hold back any secrets. But, yeah.

[01:05:16] You're like, how many times have you been to church in the last year? Yeah. Did you take communion in the last six years or so? Like, hmm. Are you circumcised? Yeah. It's hard because, especially if you have family members who swear by it. You cannot argue this with them. Right. Like, that's going to come up at the dinner table.

[01:05:40] If one mark is not checked off, then they're already going to put you on the spot. And so, that's the other thing, too. It's so hard to kind of deal with them if, let's say you don't deal with them, but you still meet them at a family gathering every other year. That's. It's like, ugh, here they are. We're here. I've been able to avoid most of it for the most part. I got a pretty open family, and they're on both sides of the political spectrum. But they're all about hard work.

[01:06:07] And, you know, just there's yes, and there's everything else. And there's being just straight up. And, but I'm just fortunate because there's so many others who I knew, whereas, like, they don't speak to this side of their family. And once one of the respective parents passed away, then the communication as a result also perished. Oh, yeah. Yes. I think some people won't even date somebody based upon who they're going to vote for now.

[01:06:37] I mean, it's become so divisive. It really is bad. For me, I didn't care about that 17 years ago at all. Like, I'm not so into politics, but I literally have relatives that would not even think about dating someone if they voted for the other party. If you go to a different school, how dare you exist? It's like, ugh, really? I mean, it's, well, you have politic issues. You have racism in dating. That's the worst one. There is a lot of that.

[01:07:04] But I did have a cousin who, you know, she split up with this boyfriend, but she had a kid with him. And, but for the longest time, she, and this was interesting to me, just viewing this through 2010 lenses, you know, she would report stories about people would give them an ugly eye in a bar. And it's like, well, what do you care? We're not in the corner. But I do agree. I think it is getting worse.

[01:07:31] But I do see people getting very ultra violent with sports teams. And it's like, well, you know, politics I can understand because it's talking about, it ultimately does and it doesn't impact you. Like, you're just liking the ideals this person is supposed to be representing. But, I mean. It's funny. I interviewed a guy today that went to my rival college. I didn't even bring that up, though, because I don't care about the football. Like, I literally went to Purdue. And he went to IU.

[01:08:01] And they are like, there are people that would not sit on the same side of the bus. I went on like, yeah, this trip. Jesus. They're like, what? You go to Purdue, sit on the other side? You know what I mean? It was crazy. But, like, I don't care. They will die by it. Yeah. I wasn't a sorority, like, sometimes too, even like the sorority or the fraternity that you're in is like a thing. And, yeah, it does seem to be becoming a thing now.

[01:08:32] There's so many different ways to divide. And I think, honestly, we're like more alike than different. More people have embraced segregation and apartheid and dating than anything. And it's really sad. It's the truth. Like, the way all we've been talking about is literally it's segued into segregation and apartheid with dating. Like, you stay with Purdue and IU. Like, you can't sit on this bus. Like, really? You don't want to sit on my side with the bus because I went to this college? I transferred in.

[01:09:03] Yeah, that's what I would say. Right, there you go. What if I told you, yeah, I'm just a foreign exchange student? Yeah. What if I told you I came for the communications department and to work at the NPR station? What if I told you I'm related to the dean? I don't know. I'm a teacher's pet. There you go. And I will have you thrown off the spots for some reason. So, riddle me this.

[01:09:31] Why do people even want to bother with speed dating? Because I see events for those all the time. I've never been to one. I've had friends who have done it and they're like, it's the worst thing. I've had friends that have done it too. I think it's... You're being kind of put on the spot. It's a good way to practice. Yeah. It's a good way to practice elevator pitches or icebreakers or saying who you are, what you're looking for quickly. And you get better at it two to three people in.

[01:10:01] And usually there's like, I don't know, like seven, eight people. So, yeah, I think it's good. I think networking is good. Like I said, I go to different networking events across town. There's one here called Peppa Joey. And you're not allowed to say what you do. You just have to say like, what's your why? Like what gets you out of bed in the morning? Like what is something that you're like really into doing? I actually like that. And then another one I went to is called... That's productive as opposed to and now this and now that.

[01:10:31] That's cool. Okay. Yeah. And there's this other one that's Pod Houston. It's like a podcaster meetup and there's like a bunch of creatives at it. And then another one that I go to is... What was this other one? Oh, it's at the University of Houston. And there's a professor. He's a screenwriter. And he holds one like once a quarter. And it's, you know, actors and voice talent and screenwriters and creatives and stuff. And again, like they do like different icebreaker activities. And I think it's good just to be able to kind of mingle and meet people in your area.

[01:11:00] Totally. That's awesome. People who, you know, their talents complement yours. Sweet. Man. Wait. I hope we've broken all sorts of icy barriers. Yeah, for real. Yeah. Follow us on the web on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

[01:11:26] The podcast is available on Podbean, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Anchor, Apple, and anywhere else podcasts are available. Feel free to review our show and leave comments on any of those sites. Thanks a million for listening. It's a jacked up.