Comedian Richard Belzer Retrospect + Tribute

[00:00:00] This podcast is a production of Unfiltered Studios. If you would like to know more about joining Unfiltered Studios, please visit our website at unfpod.com for more information. Ladies and gentlemen, Friar Richard Belzer.

[00:00:30] Why is a detective from another network tracking down extraterrestrials on Fox? What I'm looking at here is an FBI agent who likes to talk about space aliens. Because it's the only place he can. We're here! And all new X-Files. Sunday at 9, 8 Central. Now my only problem is, what do I do with you? How would you like to run the South Park Tooth Racket for me? Oh, I don't know. It's that, or else I can cut off your penises.

[00:01:00] Chevy, I've known Chevy for over 30 years. And it's been amazing. I've known him so long, actually, I knew Chevy when he was almost nice. Don't give me f***ing courtesy laughs, because I'll go out on my limo and get a f***ing job in five seconds. I don't need you f***ing people. I'm a dramatic actor. I don't have to get f***ing laughs. So you better shape the f*** up right now. I don't give a s***. I promise you.

[00:01:29] I've known Chevy so long, I knew him when he was funny, goddammit. Chevy, let's put it this way. Chevy is to comedy what Anne Frank is to yodeling. The only difference is, Anne Frank wasn't allowed to yodel. That's the only difference. But today, the only time Chevy Chase has a funny bone in his body is when I f*** him in the ass. Thank you and good night, ladies and gentlemen. Georgina Rogers says Dave should play his brother on Law & Order SUV. What do you think about that? A thought, a thought.

[00:01:59] If he gets molested and banged in the a**, maybe? I don't know. Say hi to all your colleagues at the other division.

[00:02:51] I got a wonderful intro for another brilliant comedian. Don't worry. Much like Robin Williams. He has all kind of audiences. And I'm going to list it off here. You might have read his How to Be a Stand-Up book. You might have seen some of his amusing stuff on the TV show Homicide, where he guards a kid on Christmas and sees a Jay Leno lookalike at his bar, marries Carole Kane, even disses the movie The Getaway. You've seen him play Munch also on Arrested Development, X-Files, The Wire, and what have you.

[00:03:22] He's hosted many talk shows, including his own sketch show on Cinemax, Hot Properties, which aired on ABC, and Lifetime, where he infamously got punched in the head by Hulk Hogan, and his conspiracy show The Belzer Connection on Syfy Channel, which I have seen clips of. And I was like, how are they going to? I will never forget. It aired and then it was gone. I'm like, what did he say? You know, I used to own his 1997 HBO stand-up on like a CD.

[00:03:50] I could never find the video version. You might have seen his Alien and JFK conspiracies. You might have seen him on Funny or Die, where he cooks with Christopher Walken. He won a 2008 People's Choice Award for Best Scene Stiller on SVU. He was also awarded Acting Award for being in the festival movie Santorini Blue, which he co-starred in with some of his SVU co-stars. He had Belzer Vision web series, which was a meta humor. I have both his books.

[00:04:18] I am not a cop and I am not a magician. I'm going to... One of these days, I'm still going to read some of his conspiracy books. What about the DeForest Kelly book? I'm a doctor. You know, that would have been the day. I would have paid to see that. I'll hand it to you guys eventually. But like, I have always admired this guy. Like, I would always just see him like, hey, that's the disc jockey guy, you know, on SNL.

[00:04:46] You know, and I admire his career because whatever he's in, it really does make sense. Like, he has worn so many hats in person. So when I would see him be a reporter on The Flash, I'm like, well, that makes sense. He started one of his first gigs was being a local newspaper reporter. I mean, you see him in the group too and even B movies like Species 2 as playing a politician or a president. And you're like, well, he reported on politics and spoofed them on National Lampoon and other stuff.

[00:05:15] So, I mean, he's worked everything. He has worked as a teacher, a census taker, a jewelry salesman, a paper boy, a dock worker, and other less missionable occupations in his words. You know, I loved how there was like a George Carlin, like Mark Twain Comedy Award special, and he presented at that PBS thing.

[00:05:40] But he's also performed off Broadway with Gilda Radner, John Belushi, and Bill Murray, as well as had his WNBC radio show Brink and Belzer. You've seen him in Fame, Author to Author with Al Pacino, Night Shift with his cousin Henry Winkler, and Scarface, which reunites him later on Bonfire of the Vanities with Pride of the Poems. So, I mean, I think that's what I love.

[00:06:04] It's just, if he's in it, it's either, like, he works a lot with those Full Moon guys who did stuff like Trancers and the Rocketeer. So it's like, when you see him and Tim Thomerson and the wrong guys and a bunch of other stuff, you're like, well, that makes sense. He used to host a Comedy Central special, which had a bunch of comedy sketches called Town Meeting. He also appeared in Elmapalooza back in 98, which was the 30th anniversary of Sesame Street. You've seen him appear on Conan, Letterman, Saturday Night Live.

[00:06:34] There's a great clip where he appears on Kimmel, and then he turns into much. He puts his glasses on, and he starts interrogating them in character. And then he starts cursing unexpectedly, too. So you're just like, oh. And Joel McHale gets to play the suspect in the skit, and he's like, I don't even know where to be in this fucking scene. And did you ever see the funny special that he narrated called Wind Cars Attack?

[00:07:01] Oh, I vaguely remember it. Yeah, you can find it anywhere. And those documentary guys have gone and worked on other stuff since, but it was just so funny. It was almost borderline Shatner, where he's just talking, and just the dry wit. It's just somehow, it just stands out. And you're just like, of course, he's narrating this stupid excuse for a stock footage Latin documentary.

[00:07:33] And you might have also seen him appear in a few Roger Corman movies that were on Showtime series. He did a Not of This Earth remake. But that makes sense. He's an alien conspiracy guy. So I'm like, of course he's in that. Anytime I see him playing an actual radio host in some obscure movie, I mean, you see him working with Spike Lee on Get On The Bus. He's so talented.

[00:08:04] He was so talented. Absolutely. And you could put him anywhere in a movie, and it would help. It helps, even if it's awful. He did a movie. Okay. There's a movie he did with Louis Anderson, Franklin Jai, Tim Thomerson, and Richard Lewis called The Wrong Guys. All right? Yep. And Lewis, another perfect example. Have him say anything. It's funny. But the thing is, is that Belzer knew how to be...

[00:08:32] I remember him going on Stern a couple times, right? Yeah. I mean, and you've seen the clubs where he and Godfrey just making Jewish jokes and it's really setting him off. They were... The Jews are nice. What's your problem? He was supposed to play at a place called the Dockman Dinner Theater, right? So it sounded like Dock How? Oh. So, you know, tickets 50 sod early. You know, like they start doing that. Yes.

[00:09:03] And what happened was also is that Belzer was very outspoken about things. Yes. He didn't like Andrew Dice Clay. Well, and I think that's why he and Ice-T were such good friends on SVU. You know, you got a rapper who made a satirical rap song called Cop Killer. Yeah. And every cop union wants to ban his music. And that's the same thing. You see him joking everywhere. I mean, he's on Colin Quinn's show joking about JFK and people are laughing. He's like, he's serious.

[00:09:33] He did this thing which says, you know, if I make this joke, may God strike. And he would start grabbing his chest. Yeah. May God strike. I mean, the thing with Belzer was, I watched a special he did one night and I was laughing hysterically about it because he would just say things that were so dark and disturbing, but they were funny, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, you know, he says, you know, Ronald Reagan, 78 years old.

[00:09:59] I'm afraid one day he's going to push the button thinking it's the nurse for the, you know, thinking it's somebody who's calling into the office. Yes. You know, you don't give that. And he started going off about, you know, this is how, and he would do Reagan. He'd go, Will, Will, Will, Will. Huh? Be munch and I'll interview you. Okay. Classic. And let's say, um, let's say that Joel is like, I sexually assaulted him. Yeah. No, Joel, you're standing on the other side of the two-way mirror.

[00:10:27] How about I stand over here putting pressure on him? Don't f*** upstages me. I can put pressure on him. No, no. Come over. All right, stay there. You've got to listen to Munch here. No, I got it. He's your lawyer. Okay, you're my attorney. So just stand there and glare at me. All right. Okay. No lines or I'll throw your ass out. Okay. All right. All right, but I have to get in character. Okay, go ahead. All right. Where were you Thursday night? Don't answer that. You see, you f***ing. Sorry.

[00:10:56] All right, sorry. Go ahead, go ahead. Go ahead, go ahead. I won't say a word now. You've got two shows, man. I'm not going to say a word. F***ing say a word. All right. I'm on NBC, okay? Yeah, I'm not going to say a word. I'm not going to say a word. Where were you Thursday night? I was at home.

[00:11:29] Belger's wife convinced him to buy this stupid house in France that he'll never use. And all his 300,000, this Hulk Hogan money bought the stupid house, which... They're not going to get that bad. It's the Hulk Hogan arms, we call it. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you take that money and put it in a good investment? That stuff never goes up. French real estate. Where's it on? Thanks for your concern, Howard. Aren't you a little nervous? I'm not nervous at all, man. You don't care? I don't care. That's true. I don't like the frogs. I never liked the frogs. Well, the French are good friends to the Jews, so you'll feel safe there.

[00:11:58] His wife's not Jewish, so she's safe. Yeah, she's safe there. He'll get killed. She'll have the house. Right. Wait a minute. There's a conspiracy here. She's the whole Reagan thing. Yeah. The whole Reagan thing. Yeah. She's Reagan and Hitler had a meeting very few people. Who were you? Jerry Lewis. Blimey. No, I. My career's over. Public storage is so good. Hey, what is this public storage? You're good for almost. You know, Dice, public storage. Oh!

[00:12:29] Come on. Public storage. Oh, oh. Bell's upset. You can't even imitate. He wants to hear about public storage. I want to hear public storage. I shouldn't do Dice. Dice is all part of the Reagan administration. I got to see that program. Me too. July 11th. July 11th. I talk about Howard Stern. Do you? You say something nice? Huge plug. Thanks. Huge plug. That's all I ask. July 11th. Also Ford Paralline opens up. Oh, boy. And July 12th. It'll be on videocassette. But you know. Why were all the comics so hostile to her?

[00:12:59] Don't. Let's not get into this argument. You know, let's not get into it. Do the spot. Do the spot. You know, Bells can talk about everything but Dice Clay. Yeah. I talk about them on national television. National television, Beth. Go. Well, you didn't understand us at one time. And you used to say bad things about us. Yeah. So, how do you know that you're right? Oh, don't be an apology. Are you an aunt Tom now? Are you going to apologize for Dice Clay? No, no, no. I'm not apologizing for anything. I'm just saying. Please. Do you think you might be wrong about Andrew Dice Clay? I see. I may have been wrong about Hitler, too. Did you say some bad stuff about us? I think you changed your mind. I just said a little thing about you, Howard.

[00:13:29] Something about Hitler and me? Yeah. You and Reagan and Hitler were friends. Played cards. We played dreidel together. It's all part of the Bush administration. There you go. Bells is still on the Reagan administration. Reagan's out. I know. He's never going to forgive Reagan. The effect of Reagan's not going to. But I can't remember. You know, Bells was just fucking. And you know, the thing is, too. His wife. When the thing happened with Paul Covey. Former young lady. Yes. Harley McClendon. Bride. Yeah.

[00:14:00] She was married to him. And she, you know. He got the Hulk Hogan. What they used to call the Hulk Hogan money. Because if you ever see the Hulk. Did we. I just stepped out of the room. But you talked. Did you talk about the Hulk Hogan incident? Just briefly. But I figured we were going to stretch it out. But yeah. So what happened was. It was the show. Belzer had a late night talk show, right? Yeah. Yeah. And. Mr. T. And. Hulk Hogan were on that night. Right.

[00:14:30] Mm-hmm. So what happened was. Was I, you know. Belzer just. He was like. You think wrestling. You know. It was just wrestling. It's fake. It was really just. So. So. Hulk Hogan. Puts him in a full Nelson. I think it was a full Nelson. And. Basically. He. He drops him to the floor. He hits his head. Belzer hits his head. And he's bleeding. He has. Gets back up. And he still. Gets back up. Talk shits about him. Like. Until the end of his life.

[00:15:01] Gets back up. And he says. We're going to have a word from our sponsor. You know who in a moment. He said. He. He. He woke up. He didn't know where the fuck he was. He had a concussion. Yeah. He basically sued Hulk Hogan. And Mr. T. Oh yeah. He wasn't having it. I think. I think he made like. Something like. You know. Like a million dollars. Off the lawsuit. Or something like that. Oh. Sounds like a million. There you go.

[00:15:31] If you look carefully. When you see the video. He turns his head. Like there's blood. Coming out of his head. Yeah. It ruptured some. Like. I don't think he got any brain damage. But it definitely like. Knocked open his skull. Yeah. Yeah. And. He's like going to Hogan. Like come on. Show him. Show him. Show him. You know. Yeah. So by instigating it. He. He. He definitely was right to sue him as well. On his own fucking show. It was like. So what happened was. He bought. He bought his mansion.

[00:16:01] With the Hulk Hogan money in France. I didn't know that. I knew. Oh God. Yeah. And like. The joke. So then. So then. When Howard Stern had his first show on. He had Belzer come on. So of course. What do they do? They play the clips from young. Charlie. Young lady. Charlie's love. And they're like goofing with him. And he says. Yes. Yes. I'm. I'm. I'm with. I'm a rabbi. Buck Bernstein. The first Jewish cowboy rabbi. You know.

[00:16:30] Oh my God. I'm glad you brought up that one. There's another funny. Like. 96 interview. He's having with Stern. And. Stern is trying to go to him. Because like. Basically. Belzer's having a very funny. Yet risque tale. On how he was invited to a pal. A pal's house. They'd had one too many drinks. He didn't realize the other pal. Was gay. And was getting the wrong notion. That he was into him. Oh God. Daring. Belzer to say more. He's like. I see what you're doing Howard. I'm not falling for that fucking trick. Yeah. I told you what I said.

[00:17:00] We're moving on. Well. The thing was. He was like. They start. They start. They start doing this thing. Where like. He was on Stern. When Godfrey came on. And they were like. They're doing like. They're doing like this bit. And like. All of a sudden. Like. Like. Belzer fucking lashed out. You know. They're just. They're grooving. He's like. Say this. And he said. And they said. Oh God. Belzilla. He says. But professor. Belzilla is attacking the city.

[00:17:30] You know. They would just. Go off to the right. You know. The right. That's the thing. But Belzer was. Belzer's comedy was like Lenny Bruce's. I mean. He. He would discuss things that no one would discuss. You know. He. He would bring it up. I ran country. Now. You're talking about Lenny Bruce before. The last two or three years of his life. Lenny Bruce. Was. He was mired in so many lawsuits. Okay.

[00:17:58] I didn't know he had any other lawsuit. Other than. Oh yeah. He had. Yeah. He had a ton. He had a ton of them. And what he would do is. He would read the court transcripts on stage. And people. Yes. People were going. Is this funny? Should I be laughing at this? I think that's what. Much like his conspiracy theories. I think that's the thing. He. He got a bunch of support. On expect. Sorry. There was a whole bunch of people who were supporting him. Dorothy Kilgallen. Woody Allen.

[00:18:28] Mort Saul. You know. All of them were supporting him. But he was so. Tied up in legal stuff. That he basically couldn't get a job. You know. For a while. Because he got. Every day. Sorry. By the way. Is this supposed to be funny? A lie often heard. At Dane Cook shows. Yeah. I told you what happened. A couple weeks ago. I saw Dane Cook at a restaurant. Was he busing tables? No. No. He was parking the cars out front.

[00:18:58] Oh. So he got a promotion. I fell for it. But. He probably is. He probably is a valet. Look. That was funny. I. Yeah. Oh. Dane Cook. Dane Cook. Fucking. Stole from. Everybody. Here's the thing. Like. He stole more than Carlos Mintero. Mencia. Yeah. Who's a bigger joke thief? Carl. Mencia. Carlos Mencia. Or Dane Cook. Let's have a watch. Boys and girls. Not that you would want to. That's a.

[00:19:28] Party best left for purgatory. They did. They did. They did. They didn't. I remember. Mind him and see. Who was it that went on stage with him. And fucking just called him out on his shit. Was it Rogan? Which is. Yes. Which is so funny. Because Rogan. You know something's wrong. You get dissed by a hypocrite. Mencia is on stage. Doing his shit. And Joe Rogan. Or Doug Stanhope. No. It was Joe Rogan. Went on stage. Yeah. He's like. I'm not happy. And fucking just starts saying. Starts saying. I've heard that joke. I've heard that joke.

[00:19:57] I've heard that joke. Even Amy Schumer has stolen material. Oh. Too much. So much. Speaking of which. Arnold. If you're up here. Arnold said. When he. He went to a Dane Cook show. And heard about all the stolen jokes. And he came out. And said. It is not a Schumer. Very well said. Well. You know. I have a meme. I made. With Milton Berle. Saying. Amy Schumer. Carlos Mencia.

[00:20:28] Amateurs. Because. Milton Berle probably was. Well. Now I wish. He had. Said that himself. Like he should have just. Roasted some of today's comedians. And said. You're not fucking funny. Did you ever see. The young comedians. All-star reunion. From 86. On HBO. Oh. With. I think. Richard Lewis. Was also in that. Bob Saget. Might have been in there. Yeah. Bob Saget. Richard Lewis. I think. I think. Robin Williams was in it. I think so. Briefly.

[00:20:58] Marsha Warfield. And Slappy White. And Belzer. Were one of the many. Who were at the Tommy Chong. Roast back in 82. That's a funny one. It's not the best material. But it's still. Pretty witty. He appears briefly. As himself. In Man on the Moon. In Man on the Moon. Which makes sense. Because Carol Kane. And a bunch of the other. Taxi people are there. No. No. You know. He used to. He used to. He used to. Be a warm-up guy. At Saturday Night Live. Right. Right. Yeah. But. Yeah. But I just mean. Like. They chronicle a lot of people. From.

[00:21:28] Andy Kaufman. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just so fun. He hadn't really. I also admire. He really didn't change. All that much. Like. Yes. You saw some slightly longer hair. In 82. Versus. 95. But. Overall. He still had. Kind of the same. You know. Stern look. You know. With the glasses on. And. I. Anyone who wants to look at any of his material. He. There used to be some great. Late 80s. Archive. Stand-up material. That.

[00:21:57] Was compiled together. And he. It was always funny seeing him. Drew Carey. And a bunch of other. Guys. Be featured on there. There. And it's just was always. Cool to see. Like. They knew what they wanted to be. From day one. There's a hysterical. I remember watching this interview. I think it was like in 2017. He did a live interview. That was. Featured by TMZ. Also. Where he basically. Is just doing a random interview. About one of his new books. And someone gives him a wise ass answer.

[00:22:27] And he responds back. I hope he gets molested. And fucked in the ass. That was something like. I think. He did a great. I think the thing that cracks me up. Is like. When Gilbert Gottfried. Was in the hospital. He went to go. He went to go visit Gilbert. And he's like. He's like. He's like. Gilbert's like. Yeah. Belzer came to see him. He's like. I sat down. He sits. He sits down. He takes out like the New York Times. And starts reading it. While Gilbert's in the bed. While Gilbert's in bed.

[00:22:55] Because Gilbert had a burst appendix. And like all this gunk. Is coming out of his system. He's like. He's like. He's like. Like Belzer's just. And there's like. Yeah. Babe. Yeah. Yeah. How's it going? Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. You know. So they're. Like. They're doing. Babe. You know. Babe. You know. Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. He was very critical. As I said. He was very critical of Dice. Yeah. When Dice was out. And. And there's a. There's a. There's a. Geraldo. That they had. Belzer.

[00:23:26] Geraldo and Robin. They were guessing things. On Stern News. No. No. No. No. It's. Well. That's a different sketch. They're doing like a game show. No. No. They were on Geraldo. They were on Geraldo. Okay. And Gilbert comes out. Does 15 minutes. Kills. Right. And then. They. They said. Why don't. What do you think of Andrew Dice Clay? And. And. Belzer said. To me. Andrew Dice Clay. Is. Is. Is indicative. Of brown shirt comedy. To which I was like.

[00:23:56] Kind of thing. Okay. He's got a little bit. But then I realized. You know. He was kind of like. They. They. They didn't realize. You know. He could have easily been petty. And said. Hey. He just sucks. He was like. Yeah. He's just. He's like. I'm going to make you. Here's the thing. I want to say about. Someone like. Like Dice. And Kinison. Dice was doing an act. That was. Geared towards. The character he created. The mook. The. The. The. The mook. The. The guy from Brooklyn.

[00:24:25] Or the Bronx. You know. The guy was like. Hey. How's it going? You know. Like that. How's it going? Kinison. Was like. The. Like. Opening up. Uh. Like. Like. Like. And I would say. Like. Kinison. Was Lenny Bruce. On. Lightspeed. Okay. Absolutely. Yeah. Um. So where does Belzer fall in? Would you say. He's a warm up? Belzer is. Belzer is like. Is like.

[00:24:55] I always say. Belzer is like a shark. I love that. No. No. No. Hear me out. Hear me out. No. I love it. I'm agreeing. I was like. I've never heard it. He sniffs the blood in the water. He goes at. The target. He comes back. Boom. Goes in again. Boom. Hits it again. Boom. Boom. Boom. He was like. He was like a. He was like a surgeon. Cutting up things. Yeah. We always heard. Oh. People like Mike Myers. Were wise asses. Like class clowns. Belzer got kicked out of every single school.

[00:25:25] He was ever in. Cause he was just so. He was a smart ass. He was a bad ass. Yeah. Being a smart ass. Yeah. I can remember him being in the groove tube. You remember. You were seeing the groove. Yes. Yeah. Right. I'm the president. Get the word of the fuck I want. Hey. Come here. You know. And. And he's so comfortable there. Cause like. And. I was glad you brought that up. Cause like. Like. He's one of the few. Who could put up with Chevy Chase's shit. And. That's why it was so brilliant. When he had the best. Most quotable riff.

[00:25:55] At Chevy Chase's roast. So people who don't know. Chevy actually did walk off set. In the middle of it. He couldn't take a joke. But. So they just kept. Reusing the same. Like reaction shots. But at one point. When it's his turn. Like you say. He goes in for the kill. He smells blood in the water. He smells. A tourist party. He can slaughter. You know. He's like. Belzer comes in. He goes. He is my best friend. Such a great friend. That. I would fuck him in the ass. Like a dog. Oh god.

[00:26:25] I remember that. Yeah. It was just like. Whoa. And it cuts to Chevy Chase. Looking like. You know. I mean. But then. You know. You know. You know. You know. You know. You know. You know. It's like. But. But here's the thing. I've said about Lenny Bruce. Lenny Bruce is the guy. That basically. They say. Oh he's a dirty. Disgusting comic. No. He's not a dirty. Disgusting comic. You're dirty. For thanking his dirty. Yeah. Your.

[00:26:55] Your. Your thing is this. If you look at him. Humor. We'd still be doing the minuet in G. Humor wise. He was. Rock and roll. Jazz. He was. He was. You know. He. I remember. My mother telling me. As a kid. When she was growing up. If you had a Lenny Bruce record. Oh. You know. Were you going to get in trouble. Or something. You know. Yeah. But see. That's just it. But. I'm glad we keep bringing this up.

[00:27:25] And then when you ask why. No one wants to say why. Half the time. It's kind of like. When a parent who feels pressure. From. Her church group. Or. Her school system. Is like. You're only going to get the same. Curiosity killing cat. If you don't tell. Like. When. Me and my siblings. Snuck in some. Not so. Clever words. Like freaking. Or everything. You know. Our parents told us. Hey. We find that funny. But. Other people are going to think. Hey. Your parents. Think.

[00:27:55] You. You know. Cursed like a sailor or something. It's like. Okay. Cool. But you made the effort. You. You didn't just say. Don't do that. I remember the first time. I swore in front of my parents. We were carrying. We were. My mother. My. My mother and me. Yeah. We're carrying out a room divider. From my father's old house. In Flushing. Right. And. It was heavy. And it dropped on my foot. And I went. Oh. Fuck. I would too. My parents. My parents. I heard them swore. I heard them.

[00:28:25] And they looked at each other. And they started laughing. And they're like. Okay. Jay. You're an adult now. You know. You can swear now. You know. But my grandmother. That's not cool. My grandmother. Who was. You know. 70 something years old. She. You know. She had a stroke. She was in a wheelchair. She could still talk. But you know. Limited. And. One time. I banged my toe. Against the door. Or the. Walking around the room. I went. Ah. Fuck. That hurts. And she looked at me. With her one hand. I went. No. No. No. No. I said. What grandma.

[00:28:55] What you want me to say. What did I say. And she looked at me. She went. She gave me this look of like. She gave me this look of like. She gave me this look of like. I know what you said. I said. What did I say. What did I say. Did I say toe. I dare you to say. What I actually said. No. My grandmother was going. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What did I say. What did I say grandma. And I'm prodding her. She's like. She's like. Oh no. No. No. I'm going to say it. All right. I'm going to say it. And you're going to. And you're not going to be.

[00:29:25] And you're going to be cool with it. Okay. So I wonder if she was part of the same book club as Tipper Gore. Oh no. My grandmother. My grandmother. I couldn't help myself. No. Let me. Let me put it to you this way. My grandmother was so prim and proper. But she would say things sometimes so off the wall. I would be laughing hysterically. But when she heard me swear the first time. In front of her. When I said fuck. She couldn't believe her little grandson. Who she held in her arms at his christening. You know.

[00:29:53] Said the F bomb. Okay. I'm glad you bring that up though. Because like. My grandmother. She was okay with men cursing. But every once in a while. She saw a woman curse. And she'd be like. Oh. Woman. Language. So I do feel like. Yeah. If you don't get that. Then you still get the one. Well. This is how us. Even though we're. It's just always made. Amused me. Because you're like. You're the most progressive person on the planet. And you're still trying to fall back into. How.

[00:30:21] An old standard of how you think. The other gender should act. But the thing was. Is that. No. Jay. You remind me of a couple of. Scand of bits. Eddie Murphy's delirious thing was. When he was talking to Bill Cosby. That's so cute. You cannot say the word. The word. Fuck. And Richard Price. And. You get the two prior things. Fuck Bill. I love it. Fuck Bill. Oh and when. Coco Smiles. Shut the fuck up.

[00:30:52] Oh and when. The thing. The thing. It reminds me of a bit that. Carlin did. Oh my god. I relate to the seven dirty words. Like somebody drops a. Casual. Dish on the floor. It's like oh shit. Oh shit. And an Eskimo. Who's raping someone. Gets his dick frozen in the ice. No. But. Oh my god. So many great skits. Right. Yeah. But to. The point about Bill. When I first saw him. I. I was.

[00:31:22] Blowed away by the fact that. So much of his. He was. It's going to be bad phrasing. So I will apologize. He was. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He was really the first urban. Comedian. That I'd ever seen. And. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. And. It basically. It. You. Added a level of authenticity to him. Because he had the. He actually. The tone. He had the. He had the. He had the. Stand up. How he was born in the hood. Yeah.

[00:31:51] He didn't have to act. It was. It was a part of it. And it became part of. His entire act. Yes. If you were. If you wanted to create a stereotypical New Yorker. It would be Belzer.

[00:32:36] And we need the hungry help. The people who are homeless help. The poor of the. Comic relief. Cut the grief. With comic relief. Olivia Benson ladies and gentlemen. She'll be here all week. Are we done here yet? Because I have a party with some of my more important friends. When I see a couple of my ex-wives are here. They want to have a three-way.

[00:33:05] Fortunately it's with my brother David. Go David. The story of my life. Believe me John. None of us want to be here any more than you do. Before we all go home to our families. Or in your case your alimony payments. What are you laughing at? What are you laughing at? All right. All right. I can't decide if this is the end of an era or the end of an error.

[00:33:32] But what I do know is our loss is the DA's loss. Because I just learned that in two weeks Sergeant Munch is going to begin the third. Or is it the fifth act by becoming a special investigator with the DA's office. Yeah. Hey now. Before we let you go. I want to thank you partner. Munch taught me a lot. He taught me that Oswald never fired a shot.

[00:34:01] Taught me we probably never landed on the moon. And that Hoover had a gay hit squad. I don't know. But seriously. Munch is so paranoid that when it rains he thinks it's government controlled weather. Well it is. They see the clown. My guest tonight plays Detective Munch on NBC's Law and Order Special Victims Unit. He is also a novelist. His new book is called I Am Not a Cop. Please welcome to the program the great Richard Belzer. We know you as an actor. We know you as a comic.

[00:34:30] Now a novelist. What we don't know you as is the encyclopedic Richard Belzer. The fact finder. The man who is always searching the blogs and things. The researcher. Yes. Well I got this. This is a scoop actually. This is the first time I'm going to do this on television. Please. I have. As you know. It's an exclusive. Yes. You and I were in Washington together recently. Yes.

[00:34:54] And I met some people and I managed to get my hands on Barack Obama's inaugural address. And I just I know it's long but I wanted to share. This is stunning. Share. This is. Think about this for a second though. Because do we want to. I mean this could be the type of rhetoric that lifts a nation that inspires a new generation of Americans. Is it the type of thing that we should be delivering right now or is it. I think you'll find it very visceral. Very passionate. It doesn't matter who delivers it. Well.

[00:35:22] It's very apropos to the day and what we think of Barack Obama. Well I'm excited. President-elect. Are you going to jump in just from the start? Yeah. Is it. Should I just go? Okay. You ready? No.

[00:35:53] You see he's a secret Muslim. Oh is that true? Yeah. Because they had said that about him and I never believed it. Yeah he's a secret Muslim and. And this is his coming out party. I'm still a fan by the way. No. Yeah. It sounded like he might be a secret gibberish. For sure. Well that was Sid Caesar. Otherwise I had such a nice time with you in Washington. We did a little bit together. Yeah we had a great time. For George Carlin's Twain tribute. Yes Mark Twain prize. Every year our government does one good thing.

[00:36:23] We honor a humorist. You know Richard Pryor and many others. Bob Newhart, Carl Reiner. And this year we honor George Carlin who fortunately learned about it before he left us. And was actually truly moved and excited about it. Well Mark Twain I think is one of the few prizes that George would have been flattered by. And in fact he was. And actually when he found out about it he said have Mark Twain's people call my people. He actually you know what's nice about the night. He did say this. They read part of the speech that he had been working on. Yes. For the night.

[00:36:52] Which I thought was wonderful. And you know this too but I'll share it with our viewers and our in studio audience. You don't win anything. Well not yet. This is exciting. Yes. No this is George Carlin actually had an FBI file. And through the Freedom of Information Act we got some of it. And this is a letter.

[00:37:20] This is just something that was sent to J. Edgar Hoover and Clyde Tolson. Clyde Tolson for those of you who don't know ask your hairdresser. Friends with benefits. With J. Edgar Hoover. But this is an actual letter from the. It says the hippies and yippies. Don't forget this is 1960s. The hippies and yippies may be taking serious things lightly. But the majority of the people in the United States are law abiding citizens. And do not appreciate anyone making fun of crime. This is I mean this is this was actually sent to the FBI. Yeah.

[00:37:49] This is in his. And they responded to it. And they responded to these letters. And here's what the FBI. This is based on George Carlin making a joke. About the Justice Department. About the Justice Department. That's all he did. See how you help a guest. You're an angel. Can I tell you something? You are not a guest here. Anyway. Let me just read a little bit more. He sent in and he made fun of the Justice Department. This is from the FBI. This is from the FBI. Go ahead. In his performance Carlin referred to the bureau and the director in a satirical vein. His treatment was considered to be in very poor taste.

[00:38:16] It was obvious he was using the prestige of the bureau and Mr. Hoover to enhance his performance. Right. Like George. He was riding the coattails of the FBI and J. Edgar Hoover. For jokes. Now I'm not sure if that was his motherfucker motherfucker routine. No but. The seven dirty words you can't say. Piss motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker. Yeah.

[00:38:44] Which very few people realize you still can't say. No you can't. You know what I just realized? The guys in the edit room back there just went, it's going to be a long night. Yeah. Dark glasses. You know, dark glasses. You know, suit. You know, where's the jacket? You know, a nice jacket. Has a shit eating grin everywhere he goes. Yes. Not always. But sometimes. He's very laid back. Very cool. I mean, he's laid back. But like, I think that's it. Like, you just know he's going to just say something just outrageous.

[00:39:14] He definitely reminds me of Greg Travis. The fuck you, it's magic guy. Yeah, I remember him. Yeah. And I got to tell you about when he and Weird Al did a dance for Comic Relief 86. Oh, God, I remember that. And Weird Al talked about how he wasn't sure whether the, you know, he didn't write the song, but he just thought it. He says in a funny Q&A, he was in admiration at how Belzer's not the best dancer, but he went for it anyway. He's fearless. He has no shame.

[00:39:43] Yeah, and that speaks to the point I made, that there is a level of fearlessness with Belzer. And the only thing that I really, really regret is that more people did not, more people know him for his dramatic roles later on in life. Right. They completely miss out on the brilliant stuff that gave him, that opened the door for that.

[00:40:10] If they haven't seen it, then they've probably seen him spoof the role in the Brady Bunch movie or on Family Guy. But that's it. You're like, again, like you say, he doesn't have to be just a sarcastic, cynical detective. He's... And I'm like, what the fuck is Belzer doing on this show? Fun fact, Tom Fontana, you know, head writer on that and saying elsewhere, creator Boz, he said that was the first role they needed to cast because Munch was a crucial character, you know, based off David Simon's book.

[00:40:41] And he was actually the last role they ended up casting, ironically. And he casted him because he heard him on Stern. I'm like, that sounds like my cynical detective. What's his number? Let's get him. Yeah. And I love how he said, I did one character on five shows. Just a shit ton of shows. Like, he even appears on The Wire as Munch, but no one could tell at first. And he's noting how he sold his bar years ago next door to the Baltimore station.

[00:41:11] Yeah. And then he does it on Sesame Street. Yes. And years ago, he had been in Sesame Street in a funny skit where he's helping row the row the boat skit. And that was like back in late 70s. So, like, they even made a murphed out of him. Yeah. I'll make a parallel here. I see a lot of Belzer taking out one role and just running with it through all the mannerisms and everything like that.

[00:41:37] I view that in the same way I view Patrick McGowan and his role as Secret Agent Man, The Prisoner, and even in the episodes he did for Columbo. Yeah. Even if he's only that, even if it's not the show, he's still in the same zone acting-wise. And you know they both are things. Even in Ray Hart, he's playing The Prisoner. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the thing. He, it's all a variation of, or an extension of who he was.

[00:42:06] Like De Niro, he's always going to have the, you're talking to me face, even if he's being funny. You're like, he just can't kill it. The thing I loved about Patrick McGowan was that when they did, when they did The Simpsons, right? I think his grandkids were like, you should do it. It would be funny to do. So all of a sudden, like one night I'm watching that episode. I promise we'll do a Prisoner episode, by the way. Yeah. Oh, yeah. At least we have to. We have to. I promise.

[00:42:34] I'm sitting there, I'm watching that episode of The Simpsons where they go to the, they go to the island, right? Yes. So then there's this one part where he goes, that's the third time that's happened. And I'm like thinking, oh, fuck. I remember when he escaped from the village. I'm like, yeah, many happy returns. And what was the other one? Oh, man. Chimes in Big Ben. Chimes in Big Ben. Chimes in Big Ben. Yeah.

[00:43:04] So he's like, that's the third time I was just, I made it out with toilet paper, old scabs. And like, and you just hear this and you're like, you're like, oh my God. And then I love the part where the rover comes out of the ground and Homer just, Homer's getting scared of it. He takes the fork and pops it. He says, well, that does all. Well, what do you, what do you say about that? Shut up. That's what I say about that. Oh, man.

[00:43:33] That reminds me of, I don't know why Alec Baldwin's first scene in Glen Green last. Fuck you. That's my name. Yeah. Yeah. It's just the, it's, it's, but that's the right mixture of shock value mixed with making a bigger, painting a bigger picture. And. Ah, shit. Uh, Bilzer has this other. He appeared on the daily show in OA and I'll play the clip later, but like he just is doing this impression. And I like how he's just asking John, how do you want to run with this? And he's like, you know what?

[00:44:03] I got a better idea. And he does this dictator impression and John cannot keep it together. He's like, oh my word. I thought I was just going to interview you and you were just going to do a funny line reading, but you went full blown character. I, I think the thing with Bilzer was that he was so, he was dark as, as I said, he's dark with his comedy, but he was so good as a dramatic actor. I think he, I think he may have gotten nominated for an Emmy or something like that. Yeah. All I had was the people's choice.

[00:44:33] Yeah. That that's fine. Best scene stiller. No shit. But when he passed away, when he passed away, I was thinking to myself, I was thinking to myself, oh, this is the fucking end of it. This is the end of it. You know, Bilzer dies. We had some of those chats off, off air. And I was like, you know, cause I think I was more sad. I'm like the dude didn't actually hurt anybody. He liked Don Rickles. He knew how to do these hysterical jabs.

[00:45:01] And you're like, half the time you're like, I don't even know what we were talking about or how we got here. I was, I started thinking like, you know, you know, he dies. Louie Anderson dies. You know, Bob Saget dies. Gilbert dies. You know, it's like, it's like these comedians that we loved are dying. And the thing is, the thing that scares me the most is when Lenny Bruce died, Dick Schaap put a, put a, put a thing in the paper saying, you want to know the foremost, the worst words ever said in him?

[00:45:30] Lenny Bruce is dead. Because he was so, he died at 40 years old. Yeah. Died of a hair, died of a heroin overdose. It was bad. Yeah, it was bad. There's pictures. I have the two books that were written about him. I have the one that he did called how to talk dirty and influence people.

[00:45:53] And then there's that, there's a horrible book that, that Albert Goldman put out, which was, yeah, it's a piece of shit. I hated it. Where, you know, it shows you the, the, the, the, the picture of Lenny Bruce in his bathroom, you know, with the fucking syringe and the burnt bottle cap. And, you know, not sensitive.

[00:46:15] Yeah, it was just, but, you know, Lenny, but by that time, I think the last time he ever did a gig, Lenny, was in 1966. He was opening for the Mothers of Invention. And he did this, like, kind of rambling thing. It was at the Fillmore East or something like that. And, you know, Frank Zappa asked Lenny to sign his draft card. Oh, nice. Which, you know, which I love, you know, Lenny was like, no.

[00:46:45] I don't think so, you know. But, you know, he basically became unemployable because he was, who wanted to employ a guy who was going to get arrested five minutes into his act? And who's, who's more to blame? The censors who just think, it's got, I mean, you saw spirals of it in the video games that are causing people to be violent. It's like, no, awful people are looking for inspiration from violent video games, not the other way around.

[00:47:13] And I think, but again, the people are caving to it instead of, but they're afraid if they even bring it up, like, they'll be arrested too. It's like, oh my word. You know, I think, I always say this, you know, Lenny Bruce didn't kill Lenny Bruce. The government killed Lenny Bruce. I agree. The government, the government that has, has its first, first article of the constitution, the freedom of speech.

[00:47:41] And there were people in this world who did not want to hear what he had to say. Correct. And in the, in the, in the guise of humor. And what happened was, was that the legal system came down on him. All these things came down on him and he, and they were just like, oh, he was just like, fuck it. How can I make, how can I make money? I know he did some like movie gigs on the side. One of them was called dance hall racket. I think that's out somewhere.

[00:48:11] Um, and he did thank you mask man, that cartoon, which, you know, is a classic for me. Have you guys ever seen that? I have not. I didn't realize it existed until Gil shared it in the group. I'm like, oh my God, that's right. He did do some cartoons. Rhino, Rhino, Rhino released it, um, as a, as a video cassette back in the nineties. And isn't that ironic? We can't bear to host or have you on too many talk shows, but we can do a cartoon about you. Yeah.

[00:48:41] And the thing was, was that he did this, he did this cartoon. It was done in like 1962, 63. Um, it was him doing his act. Thank you. Masked man, the lone ranger. Right. And it's a little bit longer when you hear it on record, but, uh, you know, when he says you can take anything here, buddy. Anything? Yes. Yeah. Anything, anything, man. You know what? I'll take the Indian.

[00:49:11] What? I'll take the Indian. You'll take the Indian? Yes. I'll take him. I'll take, you want to take Tonto? Do you want to take Tonto the Indian? Yes. I'll take Tonto the Indian. What do you want to do for? For a natural act. Oh my God. He's a fag. The lone ranger is a fag. Yeah. Yeah. Well, bring it in. I've heard really done with fags. It's a very good and genius idea. You know, they lock them. They put them together and lock them up in one ward. Have them washed up and ready for me.

[00:49:41] And he says, and you know what? Throw on the horse too for the unnatural act. Yeah. Oh my God. You know, but it was, I saw it one night on Showtime one night. It was late at night. I was watching it and I was like, oh my God. And then late eighties, early nineties. I think it was the nineties. I was in high school and I was telling my friends about it. I said, dude, I watched this cartoon. I don't know what the hell it was. It was called.

[00:50:11] Thank you. Masked man. And I think it was called. Thank you. Masked man. It was Lenny Bruce. My friends are going, oh, I know. Well, who the fuck's Lenny Bruce? I'm like, you don't know who Lenny Bruce is now. I says he was like before Carlin. Now everybody loves Carlin. Yes. But, but isn't that funny though? There was some opposition to, oh my God. Certain people, you know, curse this way. And Carlin somehow gets away with it. It's like, why is it? Cause he's white. Why are you giving him the get out of your free car? You know?

[00:50:38] The reason why Carlin is good and prior so good. They use the swear words. If you took the swear words out of their act, they're still funny. Right? No, I get that. But I, I would still see even sometimes people give other comedians who were a little vulgar, like a pass and somehow he would get a pass. I'm like, well, he's doing their same routine. What's different? And no one could ever answer me. I'm like, well, I, I, and so I think people just love to remain ignorant.

[00:51:08] I really think they do. It just, it's kind of like being ruled by fear. You see just so many who just want to just, they treat everything like a stupid dinner argument. And you're like, this isn't about winning or even arguing. It's about making a point. But the thing with the labors, he did, he did so many good things. He did so many great, you know, the cuts on record. I'm still trying to look for the, I found the thank you mask man.

[00:51:35] And he's the best kind of obscure guy. You want to see just other kind of comedy that even if you want to label it blue, like there is just something very unusual and uncanny about it that, and those are same deal. There's always just something that he's in. I'm like, why wasn't that a bigger hit? Someone should have re-aired that special. That was funny. Um, I can't not mention his appearance on South Park. Oh. As Louie the gangster.

[00:52:02] And it's one of those, you don't recognize that voice, but he's explaining how the tooth fairy trade works and gangster talk to the kids. Yes. And then how he's going to remove their penis with a fork. You're like, oh my God. This is what. You see the end, Richard Belzer. I'm like, Belzer was on South Park? Yeah. That's, that's his voice. Oh yeah. What? What? What? And.

[00:52:27] That's the same surprise you get when you realize that, uh, um, Clooney did the voice of Stan's dog. Of his dog. Stan's dog. Natasha Henstridge was on one and you're like, see, we got the species who got on it. Yep. Sitting. Stay. Sparky. Don't be gay. Sparky. Sparky the gay dog. Yeah. And that's so funny. I do miss that. If there's one thing I missed about early South Park, it was when they just had random cameos.

[00:52:54] It would often, part of the joke was it didn't really have much to do with anything, but Hey, see. And, but that was meta in itself. Cause you see so many great actors in nothing roles. So that's kind of what it was harping on. See, we can get them to do anything on this stupid show. And that led to Brad Pitt being in Deadpool two as the banisher. We're going deep night kids.

[00:53:25] Oh my God. Oh Lord. So is Ryan Reynolds stealing South Park's thunder. What's going on here? Oh man. Oh, I got a question about that too. Did Deadpool Wolverine fail the box office? No. Not even. Not even. It's so wild.

[00:53:52] But see, why did it have to be in that context to make a point? Yeah. It's just like people will go to anything if they like the content. You know, there's always going to be internet trolls who want it to fail. But if you, why would you even heed that? I see so many people who, because they heard just random assholes talk about certain movies, they didn't even see them. They're like, I can understand valuing your time and money more or not having as much patience as he once did.

[00:54:20] But I mean, why do I care about a random asshole calling a movie woke online? It's like, I'm still going to see it if I have some invested interest, but there's other, I mean, I'm going to see Coppola's new movie. And what do I care that he wasted, you know, his own money on it? You know, it's. I want to see it. I want to see that. And I want to see. Even if it's bad. Even if it's bad, it's going to have some visually stunning and some cool ideas. And it's Coppola production.

[00:54:48] What is the deal with that movie, Megapolis? What is it about? It's like, so long story short, it's. This is going to blow your mind. How weird Eyes Wide Shut was. This is like Eyes Wide Shut on LSD. There you go. But it's a utopian feature, but I forget what they call it. It's like a new. It almost sounds like Metropolis.

[00:55:16] It's like they call it like New Rome or something. Yeah. Modern New York or something. And. New Rome. Yes, they call it. That's what they call it. And see, again, there's some crazy actors in there, but I'm like, I don't care. It's Coppola. You know, I don't give a shit when I see a bad actor in a Scorsese or Spielberg production. That's irrelevant. They're going to use everybody the way they want him to be used, you know, and he's no different.

[00:55:43] And I saw so many people saying, oh, he doesn't like superhero movies. It's like, that's OK. A guy can have an opinion. I see so many people doing that. We'll see Cronenberg, Jane Campion and other people bash a popular movie. I'm like, why do I care? They didn't come off as a dick. They gave their opinion when they were asked the question. Why do I care?

[00:56:07] And to our point, though, also, they had people who pan movies that actually had some great concepts in them. I remember watching Siskel and Ebert totally pan the first Tyler movie. And even at the 10 year age of 16, I was noticing the cameras and how they did the switching from one scene or one time frame to another.

[00:56:37] And I was just blown away by it. And it's like, yeah. The director of Video killed the radio star. I mean, come on. Yeah. And if you can make Jeff Downs look cool, you know, it's a good. Jeff Downs, ladies and gentlemen, is keyboardist for Asia and also one of the two members of the bubble. I bring this to Video killed the radio star. My first concert was back to the countdown. Back to the countdown.

[00:57:07] I'm Casey Kasem. Yes was my first concert ever. And they did do a cover of Asia's earlier work, as well as have the video killed the radio star video playing in the background. That was back in 06. So there you go. Yeah. Was John Anderson in the band or was it someone who sounded like John Anderson in the band? When did he leave? And in the roundabout. So he wouldn't have been there.

[00:57:36] He was forced off the road in 04. Sorry. No, obviously he was replaced by Steve Perry. And believe me, the people who know the journey reference will figure that out. No, that's great. It's the same kind of aggressive rock. Who's crying now? I need a roundabout. I think she'll make you out and out. I spent the day that way.

[00:58:06] Oh, shit. He's not around the lake. Oh. Then Mike was just, all right, Lodge, how was that? You know. How did Lodge? How did you like it? It was good. Was it bloody bad? Yeah. And yes, with all their commotion and renaming that they haven't renamed themselves as many times as Prince, but pretty close. But I do love how just they weren't about the radio play.

[00:58:33] They're just like, yeah, we're going to make these songs be as long as we want. Let's have them be 10 minutes. How's the radio? The thing I loved was when they came back after 90... 90... 90... 90... 90... 90125? Yeah, 90125. They come out with Big Generator. And that kind of like, you know, tanks. And then what happens is they break up and then they come as Anderson, Buford, Wakeman, and Howell.

[00:59:03] Yeah. And I'm thinking, okay, Anderson, Buford, Wakeman. It's fucking yes. Yes. Do you remember that one Tiny Toons skit? Oh, with the fingerprints. Oh, that's the Animaniacs, but this is another one. I forget the name of the squirrel character. She's talking to one of the other Tiny Toons, and it's just funny. It's like they're answering with band names for their answers. That's how meta it is.

[00:59:33] It was like, what's their name? Yes. You did hear me, right? Yes. Yes. Yes. No, they did that. They did that in a movie with David Lander and Harry Shearer doing this sketch. I forgot the name of it. I love Harry Shearer. Who's playing? The who? Okay, who's playing? Yes. Yes is playing. No, not yes. The who? Who's playing? The who's playing? Oh, man. Yes. The yes is playing. No, not yes. The who?

[01:00:04] Okay, so who's playing? Yes. Okay. Who else is playing? The band. What band? The band. Band. The band? Yes. So it's the band, yes. And the, and, and, okay, so it's the band, yes. Yes is the band. No, no. It's the band and yes. Okay. So it's yes, the band and the who. The who is playing? Yes. The who. Was that in the band? So then who else? The guess who? The guess who? The guess who? The guess who? The guess who we're playing.

[01:00:33] Was it at the. Who are the guess who? No, no, no. The who we're playing and then the guess who. So the who we're playing. I don't know. Yes. I don't freaking know. Was that when they were doing the credibility gap trope? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Perfect. See, but again, that. If you did that now, like who fucking keeps up with today's music? You know, you might keep up with like one or two alternate rock people and you're not

[01:00:59] going to pay attention to all the other overrated pop and rap stars, you know, it's like unless you like their persona as much as their music, but I don't even know who you would guess now because not only would not everyone get the joke, but I don't know. It's kind of configured with movies. Like if you don't know who he Lewis is, you still know him from back to the future. That's kind of how shitty pop culture is now. Well, the thing is, I think I always say this about comedy was there was a time when when

[01:01:29] giants ruled the earth, people like George Carlin and Richard Pryor and Robin Williams and Billy Crystal and whoopie Goldberg and Rita Rudner and and Carol Leifer and all these great people. And Rosie O'Donnell. Oh, wait. And Rosie O'Donnell before she looked like Lou Costello.

[01:01:52] And then and then and there were Richard Belzer and Robert Godfrey and Bob Saget and all these. And then one day they all disappeared because the young people couldn't find them funny anymore. So then we had new comedians come on and they weren't funny because they just told the same shit over and over again. They weren't invented as chief Dan George. I'm sorry.

[01:02:21] Chief Dan George from, you know, big man. It all comes back to freaking. Maybe if everybody would start talking like Jonathan Wintus, it might be fun. I did something with a tinker doll that I don't want to talk about. I remember. I remember. This is Jonathan. I remember when things were funny and then they became serious. I was your smurf after all.

[01:02:48] I did do the role of a smurf, you know, Jonathan Winters was so off the wall. I watched I've watched him do shit in a OK. So they did this thing on Dean Martin, the Dean Martin show. I think it was or no. Jonathan Winters own show. Nice. Jonathan Winters own show. Right. John was at a show. Hmm. It was on and he went up into an attic. And they had all these things up in the attic that he could he could do.

[01:03:18] He would just improv. He says he says he goes up in the attic and he starts he like imitates a little boy. He goes. He goes. I'm Mr. Federline. Are you going to cut my hair? OK. Those are big scissors. I'll go ahead and cut my hair. And he's like. You cut all my hair off. It's terrible. I had his nice long hair. Give me those scissors. There you go.

[01:03:50] And again, that's him just going in his own zany way. And I think. Yeah, that's the thing. When I see something is zany now, it's not only just weird, but also pretty boring. It's also just it's not that it's too weird to be funny. It's just like out there to where you're like, see, but you didn't have like you weren't you're not playing a character. You're not coming out with just something crazy, random, cool, funny, wacky. It's just stupid. And I think that's just it.

[01:04:18] Like, I don't think our our patients may have worn thin for some kind of material, some kind of entertainment. But I don't think people do zany as well anymore. Nowadays, it's just like, well, that was really fucking stupid. I don't know why I wasted my time on that video, you know, and just and then you go on to something else as opposed to. And I think that's just it. Like, don't get me wrong for all the good that you get out of a funny YouTube or college humor video.

[01:04:44] You still get those other five minutes where you're like, oh, that was the longest five minutes of my life. I will never get back. That's TikTok. Yeah. I'll say the only truly zany comedian anymore is Bob Zaney. That's an actual name. Yes, it is. And he is. He's very clean, but he is also incredibly funny. Oh, my word. I think I handle handled that wall. OK. I'm not. Wow.

[01:05:14] Thanks for turning me on to this dude. OK. Yeah. One of my favorite jokes of his was still slightly risque. But what happened if you met a woman, a prostitute that she can't make you come? Would that be prostitution or gambling? Wow. I screwed it up, but you get the general purpose. So I have seen this guy. He and Tom Papa are one of the many suits in that Soderbergh movie, The Informant. Yeah.

[01:05:43] OK. But I remember him doing that thing. He lost a lot of aces. Now I go up to women. I said, my name is Bond. James Bond. And my name is off. Fuck off. Fuck off. I have on my thing comedy greats on my Sirius XM. I have comedy greats. I love that one. So one day they were playing Otto and George. Right. And it was early in the morning.

[01:06:13] I was having a shitty morning. I heard Otto and George and I was laughing hysterically. Then they put on Aziz Ansari. And immediately I became depressed again. Yeah. Outside of Parks and Rec, I've been pretty unimpressed with his stand-up. I don't think he's that funny. I think he's just... I think people only reacted to him just because of the show association. But the thing is, he doesn't really have much of a punchline. And he just seems to just...

[01:06:43] I think it's just the way he's enunciating it. I'm like, stretching it out doesn't make it funnier. So I do have this great quote from Belzer. I did share this link originally. But I'll run it again. The worst thing a comedian can do on stage. And he was interviewed by Terry Gross on NPR. And he's like, a lot of them make the mistake that I made when I first started. And that's to rush your material when you're not getting laughed. To speed it up. And that's the death knell. He's right. And I also... Mike's not with us today.

[01:07:12] Because he watched so many bad movies with us. COVID got the best of him. And so while he's warming up. But for him, I will mention... He did a very outrageous Miami Vice guest spot. Playing a disc jockey. Or playing a radio DJ. He had like a pirate persona. He's like, hey, it's pirate radio. Like he had an actual like black eye and everything. You know? We're playing the hits from the top 40 on down.

[01:07:43] So I think that's just it too. So like as these... He speeds. He's Speedy Gonzales. But it's not funny. And you're like, okay. And I think just hearing all the douchey sexual stories come out about him. Like see, I got that he was kind of prickly. And so I think that's why I didn't really warm up to him. I mean, again. I don't have to like the person to find them funny. But at the same time. If it just feels like douchey exploits. That's really not great either. But I'll tell you who's really funny.

[01:08:12] Maria Bamford is funny. Yes. Maria Bamford is fucking hilarious. And you'll be... So this will ease your sanity, James. She keeps coming out with some more recent stuff. And it's been killing. It's been killing both crowds. People who've followed her all of her career. And even new crowds. So I think comedy is being preserved in that capacity. I think the thing I love is there's guys like Bill Burr. Yeah. You know.

[01:08:40] The great Patrice O'Neill before he passed away. Yeah. So funny at those, Russ. Greg Gerardo. Greg Gerardo. The way he would describe just the most... Like, I think out of all the comedians describing just... He and J. Elvis Weinstein have the most realistic being in a hotel skits that I think I've ever heard. Just like in between stand-up skits. You're like, Christ.

[01:09:09] I thought I was at a bad hotel. You got me beat. Greg Gerardo. Greg Gerardo is great. Jeffrey Ross is still... You know. Colin Quinn's funny. I don't agree with him on much of anything. But that seat... That's how funny he is. You know. Like, same thing with Norm MacDonald. He's... And John Lovitz. They're pretty politically divided and go on a rant. But you get him back in the corner. Hey, hey, hey. Hey there, guy. Hey, hey, hey. Hey. You know what I got... I got a thing over there.

[01:09:39] It's a funny joke. Funny guy. Well, the dog. Sum it up your ass. But see, to Tom's earlier point, they are bulletproof. They've done everything so well. If they did a... You know. If John Lovitz stars in a shitty movie by QAnon, I won't give a fuck. I'll still go back to his SNL. I don't think he... I don't think... I don't know how little... Schneider's the one that's... He's one of those... He hates... Rob Schneider sucks. He would definitely do a movie like that.

[01:10:08] But like, Lovitz is one of those like, Obama killed my tax cuts. I'm like, shut up. But... Yeah. The thing about it... That's weird because you have that group of... They were all SNL alums and kind of really close together. Dana Carvey, David Spade... David Spade. Adam Sandler. Chris Rock. Yeah. And... Yeah. Those guys did gravitate towards the more political side of things. And they're not... For most part, they're not as... They're new as. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:10:37] They're not as overt about it. And... Or they're like Lorne Michaels where they voted that way, but they don't agree with who's in office at the time. And again, you know, to each their own. I... I really don't give a shit. Everyone's got their reasons. I get annoyed when... They just go on a tangent. And it's like, whoa. Whoa. You just labeled a shit ton of people, dude. Oh, you mean... You mean like Victoria Jackson? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Lord. Yeah. And the night is young.

[01:11:06] Like, we're just barely skimming the cream of the crop. Like, there's so many... I think what really did me in was a lot of the mad TV comedians just coming off as dicks post-cancel culture. When I saw Brian Callen be such a dick, you know, it was like, I'm sorry, dude. Like, the five people accusing you of raping them have a pretty convincing story. I don't think it's a lynch mob. I think you're just a dick. And seeing other comedians who had noted how he had had some perverted interactions with them,

[01:11:35] and then he just goes on tangents acting like, don't be so biased. Don't watch Fox News or CNN. I'm like, I know you're on the same boat as Rogan. I know you watch a lot of the stuff you say not to. So I think a lot of comedians who do the whole do as I say, not as I do. I mean, Bert Kirshner has pissed off a lot of people lately because no one believes the stories he's telling. They feel, even if he didn't borrow or rip them off from other people, they sound like stuff he heard,

[01:12:05] but he doesn't relate to. The guy with the Russian mob, that guy? Yeah, the machine. Yeah, who goes bare-chested and that's the joke. I'm like, gee, thanks. Does he have his own podcast now? He has his own podcast. And I think he's been okay on shared sets, but when it's him running the show, no thanks. Like, it's kind of like when we talk about this all the time with our favorite actors and comedians, some of them are great. They can be a lead.

[01:12:32] And others is like, no, there's a reason they're supporting. They can't lead. They don't have that energy. You know, they only are good at focusing on themselves and everyone else looks awful. You know? They're the comic relief. The second in command. Oh, I'd relate. The second banana. The fifth credited who stole the show. Yeah, shit like that. It's just like, okay. Now everybody can be Dr. Ken. I mean, Conan O'Brien has said himself, I'm a shitty actor,

[01:13:02] which is why I somehow got this show at late night. You know? It's like, I need that breaking the fourth wall. It's like, even if I like you, I admire you for just not acting like you're on Breakable. In fact, Conan had a wonderful interview that everyone should check out. He did one recently with Kristen Wiig. And I loved it. They talked about the whole warm-up set and how it was always disastrous. And just like how we're talking about, people would tell you don't talk about that and not tell you why.

[01:13:30] They hated it because they don't know why it sucked. Like, it didn't get a laugh. And you're like, well, it killed a rehearsal. And Kristen's theory was, well, they're bringing in all the suits who don't get out much. They don't have a sense of humor. And Conan was just like, I just say, fuck it. Start all over. I'm not going to let this eat me up and kill my mental health. I'm not going to do that to where, because otherwise it's going to eat me up all day.

[01:13:58] Why did it not work with that crowd? I was like, well, I'm a funny guy. I don't have to rely on telling the same fucking joke. And that's really the art of comedy. There's a, you can tell the difference between somebody who is just telling a joke that they've kind of written or kind of imagined. And versus people who, you can tell they crafted the joke. Yes. They treated it like a baby. Yes.

[01:14:27] When I was doing stand-up, there was a bit I did. You did stand-up? Yeah. It wasn't very successful. I would pay to see you guys. Yeah. One of my start-up jokes was, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm tall. And nobody got it. See, that's the other thing too. I see people missing the simple irony.

[01:14:56] It's like, it's a pun. It's a, it's a play on words. It's a cake. It's a, it's a, it's a misdirect. And that's what. It's an intro. Fuck. I used to, I used to do a bit like, okay, I like to do a quick imitation. The average person at a NASCAR race. And I would sit there. I sit there and you'd see my head not moving. And then you hear that you hear.

[01:15:28] Cricket. Cricket. Yeah. Go ahead. So one night, this guy started, this old guy was at the bar and he started like heckling me. And I said, don't you have to be in the, don't you have to be in your coffin tonight, sir? And he looked, he was like this, he was like this really thin guy smoking a cigarette. I said, don't get me in your coffin right now. It's still daylight. Right. And he just started, he's like, he's like, what does that mean? I said, I don't know.

[01:15:57] I just saw you the other night on TV. You were crawling up somebody's stairwell and you drank somebody's. You know, what's it like? What, what, what, what do you grant? What do your kids call you? Grandpa Nosferatu? You know, that's just funny, my dude, that could have easily been, you just, you know, make fun of his weight or how he sounds. And you just decided, no, I'm going to make fun. What's it like to be, what's it like to be a living Marlboro cigarette? You know, just deteriorating away.

[01:16:25] And I said, I said something to him and he started, he had to get, I said, I said, so wait, when you die, which is probably going to be like in the next, I don't know, 24 hours. Let me, let me ask you a question. When you die, are they going to use a formaldehyde? Or are they just going to let the alcohol sit in your system? Oh, Lord. Well, meanwhile, back at the, the premise I started, back at the Sleeson Hotel. Yeah. They, my,

[01:16:55] my cornerstone bit at the very end was me doing a album of famous songs done by famous people. And they were introduced, introduced by Casey Kasem. Hi, I'm Casey Kasem. And I would, and I would just throw in just random ones. Like I did Kerber the Frog doing Rocky Mount way. And I did Bullwinkle singing. We will rock you. Oh yeah. See, and see those.

[01:17:24] I always love those kinds of things. Like those kill, even if you don't know the person, like it's just. That was great. In fact, I got to tell you a few more before we go. Some of my favorite bits from Belzer's another lone nut. Again, I could never find the HBO actual, like special to say my life, but it was released on CD. And he had a great one. Just talking about everything. Heaven's gate to Ronald Reagan and outer space. But my favorite one was. I mean,

[01:17:52] he did a few other great ones like jazz for Jesus and Paul Shapers, Yiddish surprise and Richard Nixon, the Godfather, but his diet as well as Gerald Ford and JFK, the musical. But there was one great one where he, he does the ballad of Bob Dylan and Dylan is singing. He's singing Elvis songs or something. Hey, you know, my baby, you know, and he did some other Elvis impressions, but my favorite is definitely where Clinton's deck. He's like the president's deck is on TV.

[01:18:20] It just keeps going and going. It's like, again, I can't talk about anything else, but the president's deck and it's on TV. But you know, I like that. I like that sketch a lot. It made me very happy. That bell's just one funny Jewish guy. I'll tell you right now. Last time I saw somebody that Jewish and that funny was Jerry Lewis. And by the way, it doesn't count as cheating. Here's what got me. Like,

[01:18:50] when we're talking about Lenny, Lenny Bruce, you know why Lenny Bruce took the name Lenny Bruce? Because he had a gay friend whose name was Bruce. And he said, he said that was a little trippy to him. But the, when you find out the thing you find out also is that Larry Gelbart based the character, based the character Clinger on Lenny Bruce for Lenny Bruce. When he, when he was in the Navy and he put on the dress to entertain his, his, you know, his,

[01:19:20] his friends. Yes. So that's where he got, that's where he got that from, you know, but I, I got to say this about Lenny Bruce and, and, and Belzer. And this is in closing. I'm just want to say this. Yeah. Both, both fucking punch the wall. And, you know, you got guys like Carlin and prior Mooney, Kinison, you know, you know, all those guys, all those guys who were basically there, they were punching, they were punching out things. They were, they were kicking the, they were kicking the door and going,

[01:19:49] okay, here's comedy across the line. Okay. Go up to another line, go to another, like, go to another line. And Lenny Bruce, if he had not been here, we would still be fucking hearing the same jokes over and over again. We didn't know about, we, the counterculture exploded with Lenny Bruce. We didn't know how to endure it, how to even open the dialogue, but someone had to break through. And Belzer, kudos to him for just being the king of unpredictability. Like,

[01:20:17] I didn't know if he was going to go on a foul mouth tangent or if he was going to have some bizarre risque joke. Or just, Hey, Hey, you're going to talk about Belzer being unpredictable. Let me tell you. I got so many, it's even more unpredictable. It's a crack whore. There's one guy we left out. There's one guy we left out. Bill Hicks. Yes. Oh my God. I was going to mention it. Without Bill Hicks, you don't get Dennis Leary. Yep. Bill, Bill Hicks, or as I,

[01:20:47] as I call him, the guy who Dennis Leary stole his act from. Yeah. I think Leary was able to stand on his own. That's why he got away with it. But at the same time, you're like, yeah, there's a lot of the same regurgitated shit. Because when Bill Hicks died, there was no, there was nothing, there was nothing said about him passing away. Yeah, it was ridiculous. Nothing said to pass away. And, and the thing that I'm, I'm, I'm still pissed off as David Letterman never aired his final, his final, his final standup.

[01:21:16] The sad thing with Bill Hicks also is that with the alt-right, they've been, you know, we already got that. Okay. Yeah. He's a counterculture guy, but they've been taking a lot of stuff. He's saying out of context for their own crazy red pill conspiracy. Yeah. God damn it. If you're going to honor the guy, actually listen to what the hell he's talking about. Shit. Yeah. You know, that would require actual understanding of the English language and

[01:21:46] understanding of context. We can't have that. Oh, shit. We've got stuff to argue. Bargo about. Oh, man. Ridiculousness. But Hey, it's been a blast. As always, my gang, we'll return after these messages. If you like small town mystery, crazy news, and wild history,

[01:22:15] then the Florida men on Florida man podcast is for you. Each week, Josh Mills and Wayne McCarty bring you the absolute best Florida has to offer. So if you're looking for a show that's safe for the family, but funny enough to help you escape everyday life, then listen to the Florida men on Florida man podcast. That's Florida men plural on Florida man podcast. Hey, it's Brent Pope, the host of breakfast with Brent Pope. You've seen me on some of your favorite TV shows saying things like, give it up, Jimmy.

[01:22:43] You got to sink this put to win on breakfast with Brent Pope. I sit down with guests for the entertainment world and we do it all over breakfast. Or should I say breakfast every week on breakfast? You get inside Hollywood info and tips, great breakfast wrecks and booty debates. Most of all, you get the most delightful 30 minutes of your week. So dig in. It's breakfast time. Listen at breakfast.com, Apple podcasts, or wherever fine podcasts are found.

[01:23:06] Follow us on the web on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. The podcast is available on pod B, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Anchor, Apple, and anywhere else podcasts are available. Feel free to review our show and leave comments on any of those sites. Thanks a million for listening.