The Transformative F%cking Power of Solo Travel with Alexa West

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[00:01:00] 19, can you believe that shit? Hey, this is Gabrielle Stone. You did both? I forgot to check your sex addiction. He did what? 48 hours? What a dick. Yeah, but have you seen all the photos on her Instagram? And this is FML Talk. Oh no she didn't.

[00:01:15] Okay y'all, Alexa West is here today. She is an expert solo traveler. She puts my solo travel career to shame. She left the US with $200 in her pocket, traveled for over 10 years like a fucking badass, went to some incredible places and is a really terrific author,

[00:01:38] not only of different solo travel guides, but she has a new book that is going to inspire you guys to travel and really like just give you all the how-to's and all the questions that I always get. So we had a really fun conversation.

[00:01:54] I know you guys are going to thoroughly enjoy her and this episode. And if you are like, I'm not a solo traveler, I'm in a relationship, I'm ready for a vacation, don't fret because we are getting into tips

[00:02:05] and exciting places and where to go if you go here and the best spots in Thailand, the best spots in Bali. So this episode has a little bit for everybody. So let's jump on in. Alexa West, welcome to FML Talk, girl. How are you?

[00:02:26] I'm good. I'm so glad to be here. So excited. I'm so excited. Your story is like right up my fucking alley, right up my listeners alley. So I'm going to let you give us like the cliff note elevator pitch

[00:02:39] of what your background is and how you came to be like a travel badass. So hit me with it. Yeah. Okay, cool. So right now I'm living in Seattle and I met a boy. So I live here now as it happens.

[00:02:53] But before that, I had been living abroad for 10, 11, 12 years full time. And that came to be when I was in college. I was in a relationship with this guy that I really loved and I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life, honestly,

[00:03:11] but I knew that I love this guy. So I was like, you know, just I'm going to plan my life with him. Like when I graduate college, we're going to get married and we're going to have kids.

[00:03:20] And like I was kind of that girl that went to college to just, you know, like find a man, I guess. I don't know. I'm not sure. More so it's that I was, you know, young. Like how do you know what you're what you want to do at 20, 21?

[00:03:33] You know, so I have to give credit to the younger girls that do make that choice because it's a how are you supposed to know? So, you know, this big plan of babies and marriage at like 22 collapsed when he broke up with me.

[00:03:49] He dumped me out of nowhere, but I'm pretty sure he was cheating. So thank you to that girl because they did get married and he's been with her forever. And I went on a totally different path.

[00:04:01] So I spent like a day crying and kind of when the tears dried up, I had remembered an office that I had walked by at my university. I went to UW here in Seattle and it was an office for the Peace Corps.

[00:04:18] Do you know much about the Peace Corps? I mean, the general what most people do not like detail. Yeah. So it's an American volunteer organization started by JFK in the 60s, I think late 60s. And they send you abroad depending on your skill set

[00:04:37] to volunteer for two years. And I had remembered this office that I'd walked by. When I had walked by it the very first time I was in this relationship and I was like, wow, I would love to do that.

[00:04:48] But I'm in this relationship and the guy that I'm with would never do this. So it kind of like had that spark of so exciting. And then I was like, no, but like, that's not for me. That's too big. It's too adventurous.

[00:05:03] I definitely didn't grow up in a family where we took vacations or traveled. Like that wasn't for me. But here I was single and I was like, you know what? I'm going to do it.

[00:05:12] So I went and I signed up and I literally left the country on a one-way ticket with $200 in my pocket, by the way. I was so broke, but the Peace Corps paid for your flight and your housing and your insurance and your food. So that's what I did.

[00:05:27] But then when it really gets fun is that I didn't stop there. So two years in the Peace Corps, actually a little bit less. I left a little early. And then after that, I did two years in South Korea teaching English, a year in Taiwan teaching English.

[00:05:42] I backpacked all over Southeast Asia for a few years. And then eventually I started, you know, kind of getting a following online and of people wanting to know like how to travel. Long story short, in 2017, I started a travel guidebook series for women

[00:06:01] called The Solo Girls Travel Guide. And it is the number one bestselling travel guidebook series for women. And I actually self-publish. I self-publish all of those. And those books took off and we cover like 12, 13 destinations. But I started having all these women reach out being like,

[00:06:18] I'm going to go to Bali, but how do I pack for it? Or like, I'm going to go to Thailand, but will I get food poisoning? So that's what spiraled into writing my how-to book, which is my new book called The One-Way Ticket Plan,

[00:06:32] Find and Fund Your Purpose While Traveling the World. Yeah, so that's me in like a long-winded nutshell. Oh my God, I love it. Okay, so let's like back up and no pun intended, unpack. Let's unpack. So when you left in the Peace Corps, where did you go?

[00:06:49] Like where, what was the first place you were sent to? Okay, well, I was so excited because they were going to send me to the Philippines, but they have like a really intense like medical process and I had like irregular periods.

[00:07:01] So I didn't get to go to the Philippines. Instead, instead of tropical beaches, they sent me to Bulgaria in Eastern Europe. Oh wow, I've actually been to Bulgaria. Have you? Yeah, I know it's very, very fucking random. Sofia. Okay.

[00:07:17] And it was for a film that I did when I was 17, I think. Get out of here. 17 or 18, yeah. And it was beautiful. It is beautiful. But like, you know, it's, you know, post-communistic country. And so like the cheerful, like dreamy American girl being like, hi,

[00:07:37] like it didn't match up quite a bit. So there definitely was like an adjustment period. Like they drop you off in a village and you live with a family for three months. And in those three months you do language training.

[00:07:50] So it's like five days a week, three hours a day, Bulgarian classes. And then you go about your village and your family and practice Bulgarian. So now I speak Bulgarian, which is like not a very useful language for me, but it's still really fun. I really like it.

[00:08:06] Wow. Yeah, but that's also really difficult to like learn a new language that quickly. Like that's like immersive. It is very immersive. And like, that's my thing, those languages. That's like, I can't paint, I can't sing, but I can learn languages.

[00:08:22] Oh God, can you give me some of that? It's like my biggest regret in life that I didn't pay attention to Spanish class all three years in fucking high school. Like I'm so gutted that I can't speak. Isn't it?

[00:08:35] But isn't it funny that like we, because I also went, you know, like we are growing up with these like Spanish classes, but I feel like none of us retained it. I didn't retain my Spanish either. Yeah. So what languages do you speak now?

[00:08:47] Okay, well, my Spanish is getting better. My business partner is Mexican. So I like, and I'm very involved with her family. So Spanish is getting better. Bulgarian, Indonesian. Depending on the day, a little bit of Thai. Yeah.

[00:09:01] So I'd say, I'd say those are like my four that I can probably convince people of. Wow. Like baby languages of other. Those are difficult ones too. It's not like the ones that are kind of connected, like Italian and like the ones that,

[00:09:15] you know, you can kind of get by if you know one basis that those are difficult languages. But those are countries that I've lived in, you know? Right. And I'm very immersive. So I took Thai classes. I took Indonesian classes. I'm doing Duolingo in Spanish now.

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[00:11:07] Warning, this podcast might just be your man's worst nightmare. So beware. You can stream The Slumflower Hour now wherever you get your podcasts. So you leave Bulgaria and what was the place you went to next? South Korea. Okay.

[00:11:27] And there's so many things I want to talk about because I've been to Southeast Asia, so I want to like compare places and notes on that. But I get asked all the time for people that have read my book that want to go on a solo trip.

[00:11:39] What are your top tips? How do you stay safe? Like all of those things. I never, except in Paris, and it was my bad judgment on the situation that I put myself into. I never felt super unsafe solo traveling.

[00:11:54] Have you ever had an experience where you were like, oh, this is sketchy and I don't feel safe? People ask me this question. And really? I know. All the time.

[00:12:04] I cannot think of any situation that really like, you know, when something is very traumatic, it sticks with you and you are like, yes, I know exactly what that is. Yeah. No, though, you know, I've traveled. Yeah, like 10 plus years solo, solo.

[00:12:19] And I would say like there were some situations like if I go into a restaurant and like the kitchen doesn't look very clean, and I don't want to get food poisoning, I get up and leave. Right.

[00:12:30] I haven't really I put myself in a lot of stupid situations and somehow just always came out okay. I always tell people it's like you have to have the same awareness you would walking down the streets of your own country.

[00:12:41] You know, like there's like wild shit that happens in the US every day. You just have to be aware and be smart and not make stupid decisions. And it's like the same thing when you're out and traveling.

[00:12:52] But I've never except for that one situation where I took responsibility for putting myself in. Like I've never felt unsafe, especially on my Southeast Asia trip. Yeah. And I also say like it depends on where you go.

[00:13:06] Like if you're choosing your location based off of how female friendly it is, which is what I often do, then I'm literally putting myself in safer positions. Like moving home to Seattle has been shocking.

[00:13:19] Like I don't walk alone at night in Seattle, but like living in South Korea, I'll go from like after a bar at 1 a.m. to go get street food by myself and then get a beer, sit on the street, like watch people like skateboarding.

[00:13:34] And, you know, you do that till 3 a.m. and you feel totally safe. But I would never do that here in Seattle. Never. Right.

[00:13:41] And I think people that haven't ever traveled abroad, like don't it's the bigness of the situation scares them, but they don't realize that the place where we most of us live in the U.S. is oftentimes less safe and a little more scary in a lot of ways, I think.

[00:13:59] Totally. Yeah. I carry pepper spray. Like I carry like an alarm, like an alert alarm, but I don't really feel the need to do those things when I travel abroad.

[00:14:12] Okay. Favorite. I know this is the most impossible question because I get asked it and I'm always like, how can you ask me that question? It's not fair. Favorite place you've traveled to or one of if there's like multiple.

[00:14:23] Thailand, I go back to every year, even from over here. I go back to Thailand all the time. Thailand is my favorite. I'm so jealous. The food, incredible. Have you been? Yes. You've been. Yes, of course you've been.

[00:14:35] Okay. So when I did my Southeast Asia trip, I was supposed to just do Vietnam and then Bali. And I was in Vietnam and I was like, dude, this is like the best thing about solo travel. It's like my heart just isn't settling here.

[00:14:46] I don't know. I got to go somewhere. And I was like, book a ticket to Thailand. So I flew to Chiang Mai and I went up to this little mountain town. Have you been called Pai? Yeah.

[00:14:56] Oh my God. Like my heart place, like the favorite place on the planet. I cannot wait to go back there. And I was there for like a week and a half and it was the most magical time in my life.

[00:15:08] So I haven't gotten to do, I was in Chiang Mai for like two days when I was like traveling to and back. But I was supposed to go to Pai and then go down to the islands. And then I just fell in love with Pai.

[00:15:18] So I didn't leave before I had to go to Bali. So I really want to go back and do like all the islands and stuff because I didn't get to do enough of Thailand, obviously. You have to. And when you do go with my Thailand travel guide.

[00:15:30] It's my second bestseller after Bali. I'm really proud of it. Oh my God. I love it. Yes. Yeah. I was actually just in Thailand to update the book again. And I was in Pai and I stayed in Pai for like a week and a half.

[00:15:43] And I got an Airbnb kind of like out in the mountains and I got a scooter. And I would just kind of like scooter to breakfast and have a smoothie bowl and then go back to like this little Airbnb with beautiful sunsets. I love Pai. Pai is great.

[00:15:58] I mean, I had a different experience because I was staying at a hostel. So we were, I was like very immersed with all of these friends that I still call friends till this day.

[00:16:06] But it was, it's just after Pai, like I come back and they're like, you know, $15 smoothie bowls in the U.S. on the cheap side. And I'm like, it's never going to compare to the $1.50 you want to add in Thai.

[00:16:18] No, my boyfriend, when I came back to Seattle has been like, oh my gosh, there's this Thai place. You're really going to love it. Like it's gonna make you really happy.

[00:16:27] And then we go there and I'm like, you want me to pay $18 for something that I've been paying $2 for, for 10 years? And it's less good. I was just going to say, and like, it better be amazing. And it's never, it's never.

[00:16:41] I am the worst person to take to a Thai restaurant in the States. I try, like I did find one restaurant in Seattle that's really great and they all speak Thai and they'll speak Thai to me. And the food is really good.

[00:16:53] But like, I went to this Thai restaurant in Portland and there was not one single Thai person working in the restaurant. Right. So it's just like, this is fake, this is bullshit. I'm done. Yeah. And, and the cashier, it's this restaurant for a dish called Kalman Gai.

[00:17:11] And it's just like chicken and rice. And it's really simple, but it should be perfect. And I go to the cashier, who's the white dude. And I'm like, I'm so excited. I haven't had this, you know, since Thailand. And he goes, just be prepared to be disappointed.

[00:17:24] I just want to tell you that. And I was like, thank you for your honesty. Like, thank you for your honesty. Oh my God. I love it. Okay. So other than Pai, like, what are the, your top places in Thailand to go to? Oh goodness gracious. Okay.

[00:17:39] So there is a collection of islands that really not many Western tourists go to. So most of the Western tourists, they'll go south to the South Island. So like the Andaman Sea, and it's really beautiful down there.

[00:17:53] But there are these islands that are kind of between Thailand and Cambodia on the way to Cambodia in a region called Trat, T-R-A-T. And I just call them the Ko Chang Islands. It's four islands, Ko Chang, which is a big one.

[00:18:07] And you can island hop between these four. And then there's Ko, what comes next? Ko Wai. It is this tiny island. No electricity, no Wi-Fi. They run on generators. There's maybe like three or maybe five guest houses on the island. And those are the places you eat at.

[00:18:27] And you just spend your day just with no one, unless like it's the person you come with. That's amazing. And then you go onto the next island, which is called Ko Mak.

[00:18:37] And I really like this island because it's flat, like so flat that you can just ride a scooter everywhere and like beaches and beaches and beaches. And then the next one is called Ko Kud, which is a big island with a lot of hills.

[00:18:52] So these four islands, I write about them in the New Thailand Guide, are places that not many people go to. And I'm really excited about it. Yeah. Oh, I love that. I cannot wait to go back to Thailand. It's like very, very high on my list.

[00:19:07] But I do want to go when my son is like a little older and can cruise around and like really, you know, understand how rad it is. Yeah.

[00:19:16] What I always find like funny is like all of my friends are having babies here in the States and they all wait to travel with their kid because it's a lot. Like, I can't even imagine. I don't think that I would be traveling with my kid right away.

[00:19:28] I would be overwhelmed. But when you're in Southeast Asia, the Europeans, they're like, they have like a baby strapped to their front, another kid, like a toddler behind. Oh, for sure. And like a backpack. They just go with their kids. And I'm like, how do they do it?

[00:19:43] And it's just so culturally normal. Yeah, I'm really impressed. But I wonder when the day comes when I have a kid like, yeah, I don't know. I'm right now I'm in the process of like forcing myself to get there.

[00:19:55] I'm going to Portugal with my son and my husband in June and he'll be 10 months at the time. So I'm like, oh, yeah, crossing my fingers for a long fucking flight.

[00:20:08] But, you know, I'm like we got to and it's also, you know, domestically they travel for free until there too. Internationally, though, I found this out. They charge you. I think it depends on the airline, but 10 to 15 percent of the ticket.

[00:20:23] So they're like, you know, like two to three hundred bucks or whatever, like however much you're paying for the ticket. But it's more about just like the travel day. That seems daunting to me. Once we're over there, I'm sure it'll be fine and rad and fun.

[00:20:35] But yeah, the actual travel day. It's a lot. OK, so wait, your second bestselling one is Thailand. What's the number one bestselling one? Bali. My Bali guide is my number one bestseller. And when people go to Bali, there's two types of reactions.

[00:20:50] One is people say like, oh, it was too touristy. Or the other reaction is like people are absolutely in love with it. My Bali guide gets you off the touristy thing.

[00:21:01] I have never had anyone that read my guide come back and said anything except that they loved Bali. But the way I describe Bali is like, you know, there's like mosquito lights that you can put in your backyard, you know, around like a picnic table.

[00:21:15] And all the mosquitoes go to that light and then it leaves the rest of your backyard mosquito free. That's what happens in Bali. So there's like this area called Canggu or Seminyak and all the tourists go there.

[00:21:30] But that leaves like the rest of the island kind of like just peppered with tourism or like slow tourism. So it depends on how you travel there. But I'm really proud of my Bali guide. And I also have a Facebook group called Girls in Bali.

[00:21:44] And we have like I think now we have like 40, 41,000 members. Oh, my God. Wow. It's such a supportive island for women, especially in this if you have this community, like anything that goes wrong, you get in there.

[00:21:57] If you are looking for like someone to go with you to the beach and you just want like a beach partner, you go in there. So I love that it's just a really special island and people love to connect with each other. That's so fun.

[00:22:09] Yeah. When I when I was there, I was in a boud and then I was supposed to go down to Canggu. But I got bit by a monkey in the monkey forest. Oh, yeah. You got bit? Oh, yes. Were you trying to feed it?

[00:22:22] No, that's what's fucked up is that everyone around me was trying to take selfies. And like I was like already freaked out to be there as it was. He probably smelled my fear. I don't know. But I like sat down on a bench with my backpack.

[00:22:36] And this monkey was on the other end of the bench. And he literally looked at me and was like this bitch right here, crawled over to me, put his little fucking monkey paws on my arm and just took a chunk out of my forearm. Did you bleed?

[00:22:48] I bled. It was a third degree bite. There's only three degrees. Holy was like in shock, just like looking at my arm, still have a scar, had to get three rounds of shots to when I was in a boud one when I was back in the States.

[00:23:03] So I didn't leave. I didn't want to go and have to find another urgent care in like a different section of Bali. I was like, I'm just going to stay put. But yeah, I had the experience of like it's it was a little too touristy.

[00:23:15] But I also was coming from Pai, which was so magical and so not touristy that it was like a very big difference. But I really want to go back and check out the Gili Islands in Bali. Yeah. You write about that in the guide?

[00:23:30] I don't because fun fact, not a lot of people realize this, but the Gili's are part of Lombok Island, which is the next island over. And it's a totally different experience because Lombok and the Gili's.

[00:23:41] So Bali is a Hindu island and it's the only Hindu island in Indonesia. Indonesia is the most populous Muslim country in the world. And Lombok and the Gili's are Muslim islands. So it's a totally different experience on my YouTube.

[00:23:56] I do have like guides to the Gili's, but I haven't included them in the Bali guide yet. But I recommend there's three islands I recommend. So there's, can I tell you which? Yeah, tell me everything. No, I love it. Tell me everything.

[00:24:10] Okay, good. I mean, once you get me talking about like Bali and Indonesia, like I just don't stop. So the Gili's are these three islands and they're described this way as Destiny's Child, Beyonce, Michelle and Kelly. Oh my God, that's fucking hilarious.

[00:24:26] Yeah, so let me see if I can. So Gili T, Gili Trawangan is the biggest island, really loud kind of party. Like that's Beyonce. And then let me see if I'm going to get this right.

[00:24:38] Okay, yeah. And then there's this island that's really tiny and it's really, really quiet. And it's interesting, but like not the most interesting. And that's Michelle. And then you have Gili Air, which is like, that's Kelly.

[00:24:53] So like Kelly's fun, you know, she's not the biggest and the loudest. She's not the most quiet. She's like the perfect balance. So Gili Air is my recommendation. Really great food, beautiful beaches. You can like bicycle around on Gili Air. That's my recommendation.

[00:25:08] It's like stay there, take a trip to Gili Menno. But Gili T, Gili Trawangan, I've just never been in love with it. Just FYI. Okay, good to know. Oh my God, I love this. I'm sure people are like jotting down all of the tips.

[00:25:21] But if you're going to any of these places, you need to just go on and get the guide. It's amazing. Yeah. Okay, so number one thing you learned from solo travel. Hmm. This is very cheesy, but I feel like you're going to understand.

[00:25:44] I learned how to be my own best friend. Like not only do I entertain myself, but like I've learned how to soothe myself. I've learned how to, you know, on the bad days, how to be there for myself. Like do I need a cookie?

[00:26:01] Do I need to walk? Do I just need to journal? And like on the happy days, it's like, yeah, like what makes me happiest? How do I take care of myself? I now like I really love being alone. I love it. And I still love to solo travel.

[00:26:16] Like I love to travel with my boyfriend and my friends. But there's just something different when you just get to do something on your own. Like you get to like, it's like playing a video game. Like you get to unlock levels and like collect treasures by yourself.

[00:26:28] And it's just really fun when, like you said, you got to just change your mind in Vietnam. And be like, what do I need right now? This is what I need.

[00:26:36] And so you literally just hop on a plane and go give yourself what you need or go searching for what you need. There's a lot of independence that comes with solo travel. Yeah, I love that and wholeheartedly agree.

[00:26:48] Now that you're in a relationship, how do you approach wanting to solo travel with your partner? Because I always get questions like, okay, but my husband would never just be like, cool, go off on a solo trip. It's fine.

[00:27:02] Obviously, you and I, the background that we come from getting into the relationships now that we're in, it kind of comes with the territory. If someone wanted to go try a solo travel trip, how would you advise them to explain it or broach it with their partner?

[00:27:18] I write about this because I love this question. So I do something that I call mini solos. And so me and my boyfriend, yeah, like he knew he knew who I was when he met me.

[00:27:28] So like, you know, don't even try to tell me I can't solo travel. It's never going to happen. But what we do instead is and this is just one way to do it.

[00:27:37] We will go let's say we went to Vietnam together for a month this year, this year, last year. And then after Vietnam, he went home and then I stayed and I continued traveling by myself for another month.

[00:27:50] So we get to have these shared experiences, but I also get to do it on my own. And that might be like a really long time for most people, like two months, you know.

[00:27:58] So another thing we do is a thing that me and my best friend do actually is when we travel together, we will spend time together.

[00:28:06] But I have a rule about these like mini solos that will leave each other for like three days or four days and then we'll meet back up somewhere. So we were in. That's a great idea. I love that.

[00:28:19] That's really smart because then people can be like, OK, I'm going on this trip with my friend. I feel safe. It's comfortable. But then you're like, OK, two days, three days and you split. That's genius. Yeah. And then if anything happens to you, you have a friend nearby.

[00:28:34] It's not like you're right. So Amelia is my best friend and my business partner. We do everything together. So she and I, we were researching for our Puerto Vallarta guide, Puerto Vallarta to Sayulita.

[00:28:46] We were in Sayulita together in Mexico and she went up to another town called San Pancho by herself. And I went back down to Puerto Vallarta by myself and we were away from each other for like, you know, three days.

[00:28:59] We couldn't go see each other out of boredom. We really had to like, you know, do our own thing. And then we met back up in Puerto Vallarta. And then those moments where you do get to meet back up with your friend. Yeah.

[00:29:11] You're so excited because you have stories to tell each other. And then you have like your buddy back and you've gone through the challenging hurdle of doing things alone. But the other hidden gift, this never happens with me and Emmy. She's my favorite person to travel with.

[00:29:24] But traveling with a friend, someone especially that maybe you haven't traveled with before or even with a boyfriend that you haven't traveled with before or whatever. Sometimes those people can get on your nerves.

[00:29:34] So if you have already programmed like a mini solo, having that few days of separation kind of hits the reset. Because I have seen so many friendships break while traveling. Yeah.

[00:29:47] Because you think you know someone and you or like you think you have, you know, the same vibe at home. But when you start traveling, you realize I don't want to sit by the pool.

[00:29:55] I want to go to the jungle and or these little tips come up because you're with each other all the time.

[00:30:01] But when you have this mini solo, whether it's with a friend or a boyfriend or a partner or whatever, you have that time away to miss each other and to kind of want to be with each other.

[00:30:11] So you hit the like appreciation button like you reset the appreciation button. Totally. I think that's so smart. Yeah. So mini solos in some way is how me and my boyfriend do it. Yeah. Yeah. We did something similar.

[00:30:23] My husband and I, we went and we were in Italy for like two weeks. We got engaged there. This was last summer. And then we went to London for my girlfriend's wedding and he had to go back to be with his daughter, my stepdaughter after that.

[00:30:38] And I was like, I flew to Europe like I want to like go continue traveling. So I flew to Slovenia and met a girlfriend that I actually met in Thailand in Pai. And we traveled for like another week and a half after my husband had flown home.

[00:30:54] And we because we are both solo travelers and have both done our fair share of solo travel. We just had this rule that we were like, look, we're on the whole trip to like this part of the trip together. Like we're staying together.

[00:31:07] But like if there's anything that you want to do that like the other person doesn't want to do, just like fucking go. You know, like if you're like, I just want to stay in. I want to go out and explore.

[00:31:17] I want to like let's not feel forced to like do what the other person wants to do. If we're both feeling the same thing. Great. If not, like we don't have to stay together this entire time.

[00:31:27] And then we also her name is Jackie, although people that are listening to this know her as Nina from my second book. We also were able to sit together during meals and not have to fill every silence with conversation, which we actually like had a discussion about.

[00:31:45] She was like, it's been really interesting to not feel like I have to keep the conversation going or fill all of the moments with talking about something.

[00:31:55] And that was a really nice kind of thing to discover with someone because I feel like at home, if you like go to dinner with a girlfriend, it's like if there's like a minute of silence, you're like, oh, God, this is awkward.

[00:32:08] And it was so nice to be able to just like sit in that together. Never thought of that before, because you're right. If that happened at home, we'd be like, what are we even doing here? Right.

[00:32:18] When you're traveling, I think that it do you think it could be that when you're traveling, sometimes it's like sensory overload. So to have a place that you can just kind of power down by placing in a person. Yeah, that's a really nice break.

[00:32:34] Yeah, I think it's part of that. And it's also like taking in your surroundings and wanting to like look around and like and just like being sometimes being doesn't need conversation to be filled with.

[00:32:48] Because if you're solo traveling, you're going to dinner and you're people watching or you're writing in your journal or you're reading a book or you're just like sitting with your thoughts. And it's nice to do that with another person, too.

[00:32:57] It doesn't always have to be like so filled with everything. Yeah. And then I want to go back to the conversation you had with her before.

[00:33:07] Like, I think that's a really important thing that we should be encouraging more people to have when they travel with their friend to just give you like almost anticipating the bumps that could be ahead and giving each other permission to say, like, I want to go on this trip with you.

[00:33:26] But, you know, this trip isn't just about taking pictures. It's about learning who you are in the world and learning about culture. And yeah, so it's like if you want to do something that is is calling you go do it.

[00:33:38] I think that is a really important conversation to have with your friend before traveling. That's great. You answered that or with a partner, like with any person that you're traveling with. Be like, look, if you want to go to a museum, fucking Godspeed, go like get your history.

[00:33:51] And I'll be at the winery over here. It's fine. Yeah, totally. Okay, so let's talk about the new book that you did. How is that different from the solo guides? Like, tell me a little bit about that book. So this one, this was my baby.

[00:34:05] I'm so proud of it because this is my baby. I'm so proud of it because my best friend, Emi, who was a reader of my Bali travel guidebook, actually, she's now my business partner and she designed she designed all of this by hand. I'm really cool.

[00:34:20] So the one way ticket plan is a how to, whereas like the Bali stuff is a destination guide. And all the how to's in the Bali book are a how to specific to Bali.

[00:34:31] I have, you know, packing in there and I have credit card tips and you know what to do if you get bitten by a monkey tips. Yeah, but this book is more it's a little bit of everything that I've done the past 10 years.

[00:34:43] So the subtitle is find and fund your purpose while traveling the world. So like I had mentioned earlier, I left with $200 in my pocket and that is a money is a big barrier for why a lot of us don't travel.

[00:34:56] So I teach in here how to travel every way that I've traveled and more, which is emphasis on travel rather than vacation. Like a vacation is when you go to Mexico for a week and you have a bucket list and you spend all your money.

[00:35:09] Whereas travel is more of a journey, like more of a journey. So I have chapters in here that are like love and relationships. I have friendship and loneliness. I have safety and scary things. I talk about if you want to move abroad and stay abroad longer. Love that.

[00:35:27] I talk about coming home because coming home is really hard. So, and I think my favorite chapter in here is called happy days and hard days. And it's about what do you do on the days where you feel like going home?

[00:35:38] Because sometimes that's what you need to push through is those hardest days in order to make it this trip more of a soul journey or a lifetime. I don't know thing rather than a vacation. I love that.

[00:35:51] And I feel like it's not only for people who are like, oh, I really like feel the pull to go do this and live abroad or travel for an extended period of time.

[00:36:00] But I think it would be a great book for people to read to get inspired to do any type of solo travel.

[00:36:05] Like even if you're like going to do what I did and commit to a month somewhere, it's going to give you that fire inside to push through the anxiety that's inevitably coming with any solo trip and to really like get you out of your comfort zone to go do it.

[00:36:19] Yeah. And even me, I still get anxious. Like I'm afraid of everything. I'm afraid of planes. I'm afraid of boats. Like I'm afraid of everything and I still go.

[00:36:28] But yeah, you need to have those kind of like mantras in your head or or you needed you need to have envisioned yourself abroad almost before you decide to go sometimes. So yeah, that's what this is for.

[00:36:41] It's not just for doing what I did for 10 years, like I say for a month, a year or a lifetime, no matter how long you want to go, you can find it in here. I love that so much. Oh my God, this has been so fun.

[00:36:53] You're like totally my type of chick. Can you tell everybody where they can find the guides and where they can find the book and you online? Like all of all of the things hit us with. Yeah, all of the things go to AlexaWest.com.

[00:37:06] You can sign up for my newsletter there, which is where I kind of like, you know, drop new guides or my book tour or whatever. And yeah, you can find my the whole travel guide book collection there and this book there too. Awesome.

[00:37:18] And where are you online if people want to come keep up with you? On IG, Solo Girls Travel Guide. Love it. Thank you so much for being here, girl. This is wonderfully, wonderfully fun and like a trip down travel memory lane. So it was great for me too.

[00:37:32] I knew it would be fun. I love this. Thank you so much for having me. I want to thank Alexa so much for coming on today. I hope this episode inspired you guys to book a motherfucking flight. If you are heartbroken, book a trip.

[00:37:49] If you are confused about a decision, book a trip. If you're just like bored with life, book a fucking trip. All right. Get on a plane and travel. If you're like, bitch, I don't have the funds to do that, that is fine.

[00:38:01] Get in the car and take your ass to a state park. Go camping. Like just travel somewhere. Mini solo trips are where it's at. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I hope you're ready for some flights in the future. I love you guys.

[00:38:17] I will see you next week. All right, FMLers. If you don't want to miss an episode, make sure to follow on your favorite podcast app. If you're loving the show, drop us a five-star rating and leave a review.

[00:38:33] You can keep up with me on Instagram at Gabrielle Stone or the podcast page at FML Talk Podcast. For all the merch and books signed personally by me, you can shop the FML line on eatpreyfml.com. As always, have a fucking self-love cocktail on me. Cheers.