Fifth Annual Krampus Episode

[00:00:04] Welcome to Film Rage's 5th Annual Happy Krampus Special. We've got Carnage, we've got the Hana Killer, we've got Bigfoot, and of course, we have the almighty Krampus. Joining us this week for this very festive episode is John from Life's But A Song Podcast. How you doing, John?

[00:00:25] I'm doing great. How y'all doing?

[00:00:28] I am fantastic. And the usual crew is here as well. We've got Jim.

[00:00:34] Hey, Bryce. Hey.

[00:00:36] And the Merman!

[00:00:38] Yo. Shouldn't there be like a buzz after the Merman?

[00:00:41] No.

[00:00:42] If you're not going to comment on his shirt, I know.

[00:00:44] Okay, we got some golf clapping going over here.

[00:00:47] So with the introductions out of the way...

[00:00:49] I can't see this epic shirt, so I don't know what you're talking about.

[00:00:52] I don't have a shirt. I have a sweater.

[00:00:53] There's no epic shirt.

[00:00:54] I have a sweater because it's freezing down here.

[00:00:57] So with the introductions out of the way, let's rage on.

[00:01:01] John.

[00:01:02] Whore, whore, whore.

[00:01:04] Happy Krampus to all who've been supporting us.

[00:01:06] If you love our independent podcasts, please like, subscribe, share, and give us a five-star rating on your listening platform.

[00:01:12] Or support us and join the Film Rage community by joining your membership at buymeacoffee.com forward slash Film Rage YYC.

[00:01:18] If you cannot commit to a membership, you can still buy us a movie rental and dares to watch a terrible film.

[00:01:25] Welcome back, John!

[00:01:28] How are you?

[00:01:29] Hey, I'm back.

[00:01:30] Yes.

[00:01:31] I'm so happy.

[00:01:32] I'm here with Krampus.

[00:01:34] He's lovely.

[00:01:36] But he has some notes.

[00:01:39] Oh, he has some notes.

[00:01:41] All right.

[00:01:42] He has some notes.

[00:01:43] Now, for those of you who don't know, John has appeared on a Film Rage episode.

[00:01:50] Did it actually come out?

[00:01:51] It has not come out.

[00:01:52] It's behind the patron wall until January.

[00:01:55] Don't worry.

[00:01:56] So, our listeners are going to get the Krampus John, and then they're going to get the musical

[00:02:02] John in January.

[00:02:03] The musical John, yeah.

[00:02:04] Because John does like watching other movies besides musicals.

[00:02:08] I'll just say that.

[00:02:09] What?

[00:02:09] So, this is a true testament to that, because you guys really...

[00:02:14] Oh, boy.

[00:02:17] As I often say on our podcast, we're not called Film Love, John.

[00:02:23] We're called Film Rage.

[00:02:26] True.

[00:02:26] True, but one of these broke me.

[00:02:29] Yeah, I can imagine which one.

[00:02:31] You know what?

[00:02:31] It's kind of our goal.

[00:02:32] If you ever go back and listen to our Krampus episodes, we always try and break our guests

[00:02:37] with at least one movie.

[00:02:38] We tried to break you with three this time.

[00:02:41] Yeah, no.

[00:02:43] Two of them I could handle, because I knew they were going to be bad, and they're basically

[00:02:47] the same movie, if you really think about it.

[00:02:50] One of them, though, I went down a huge rabbit hole trying to figure out what the fuck was

[00:02:59] happening.

[00:03:01] We'll get there.

[00:03:02] All right.

[00:03:03] That is my thesis statement for this episode.

[00:03:06] Nice.

[00:03:07] All right.

[00:03:08] Well, let's get to it.

[00:03:11] We're going to talk about the new release Christmas horror film of this year called Carnage

[00:03:19] for Christmas.

[00:03:24] Bryce is not doing anything, as per usual.

[00:03:30] All right.

[00:03:31] And just like we normally do on this podcast, it's time to pivot for Krampus.

[00:03:36] All right.

[00:03:37] Okay.

[00:03:38] So podcast narration from a transgender Aussie.

[00:03:43] She starts us out early with a story with some good stabby, slicey stuff, then tells us

[00:03:49] a tale that is supposed to set us up for what is to be a total tale of carnage.

[00:03:58] But here's a spoiler.

[00:04:00] None of that actually happens.

[00:04:01] She has to go home for Christmas, where the ghost of Santa stab of years before is supposed

[00:04:08] to be a ghost who kills people.

[00:04:10] So a few things of note.

[00:04:13] We got, and I'm putting in heavy quotes here, sisters with different accents.

[00:04:18] We get some weird flashback of dream sequence slash psychic powers, things, FX-y stuff that

[00:04:29] happen.

[00:04:30] It seems like every 10 minutes and almost randomly out of nowhere and are done super weird and

[00:04:38] kind of like it was made by grade 10.

[00:04:40] And I want to say ComTech students that hadn't yet learned how to use video controls.

[00:04:47] The sound mix is horrible.

[00:04:49] The lighting is horrible.

[00:04:50] But we do get some cartoon sequences.

[00:04:53] I like the cartoons.

[00:04:54] That kind of look like Scott Pilgrim, which kind of came right out of the middle of nowhere.

[00:04:58] You also forgot, Jim, to mention that our lead, the actor, is basically a robot who's learning

[00:05:07] human motions for the first time.

[00:05:09] Oh!

[00:05:09] The performance is so back and forth.

[00:05:14] There's one scene where she's very calm, talking, and then in the next scene, she's just

[00:05:20] like, shut up, pig!

[00:05:22] And you're like, what?

[00:05:24] Where did that come from?

[00:05:26] Apparently, they're angry.

[00:05:30] They're angry.

[00:05:31] Yeah.

[00:05:31] Yeah.

[00:05:32] So we get introduced early to our first, well, actually technically second murder, which

[00:05:40] of course is obvious because she's easily the most unlikable person we meet.

[00:05:45] But fear not, because our podcast heroine is on the job to solve the true crime that gets,

[00:05:53] I guess, unveiled, when she arrives of the town lesbian who's killed by what the police

[00:06:01] are calling a botched robbery, or so it says.

[00:06:06] Now, this is the part where I say, Murray actually really loved the barfing reenactment

[00:06:12] scene where they show this.

[00:06:14] What?

[00:06:15] Remember they do the kind of reenactment scene after the murder where the guy's barfing?

[00:06:21] Okay.

[00:06:21] Yeah.

[00:06:22] I guess so.

[00:06:23] I might have blocked it out.

[00:06:24] Yeah.

[00:06:25] Maybe you blocked it out.

[00:06:26] I'm not sure.

[00:06:27] Then we get so much story thrown into us.

[00:06:31] I think it was only like 70 minute horror movie.

[00:06:33] Now, I don't know about you, but we get almost halfway through this film, and although we

[00:06:39] got a small taste of carnage at the beginning, but I can tell you that the carnage part in

[00:06:45] the carnage for Christmas was not carnagey enough.

[00:06:50] You get the opinion that small townies in the Australian Hamlet are not friendly to gay,

[00:06:57] lesbian, trans, or anyone of queer culture.

[00:07:00] The police are incompetent, and we need our podcaster to solve this carnage mystery, because

[00:07:05] everyone else is not qualified.

[00:07:07] Wait, are we in Australia?

[00:07:09] This movie's in Australia?

[00:07:11] I think so.

[00:07:12] Was it?

[00:07:13] Yes.

[00:07:13] I think so.

[00:07:14] Was it?

[00:07:15] Everyone had a different accent.

[00:07:17] I couldn't tell.

[00:07:18] Well, yeah, no.

[00:07:19] The sister was 100% American, but everybody else was Aussie.

[00:07:23] Yeah.

[00:07:23] I think they were sisters that were raised on different continents.

[00:07:27] No, the rest of them were all Aussie.

[00:07:30] So, wait, was it Australian?

[00:07:32] Yeah, it was Australian.

[00:07:33] I watched this like a week ago, so I can't remember.

[00:07:38] It's one of the many things that the movie was consistent with.

[00:07:41] It was consistent with its inconsistencies.

[00:07:47] You said it, Bryce.

[00:07:48] So, after what seems like countless hours of mystery solving and a little bit more carnage,

[00:07:56] we finally solved the mystery, which by the time we do, I kind of stopped caring, ultimately.

[00:08:03] I can say I did like this more and better than I do the other two movies we're going to talk about.

[00:08:11] I agree with you on that.

[00:08:13] But just like the other two films, this is also a rage.

[00:08:17] But I do have to say, I think the message we get here ultimately is like it's mostly kind of like real life.

[00:08:25] People of color and the queer community are fair game, marginalized and treated like murder fodder.

[00:08:31] But also, you can always count on someone named Lola, which is also my message to everyone at Krampus and Christmas,

[00:08:40] is always trust Lola.

[00:08:42] You know what I'm saying on this?

[00:08:44] Because she was a showgirl.

[00:08:45] Not a showgirl.

[00:08:46] No, so...

[00:08:46] See?

[00:08:47] He got it.

[00:08:48] He got it.

[00:08:48] No, so my Lola, I actually met her at a club down in old Soho.

[00:08:54] Ah.

[00:08:55] Where you drink champagne and it tastes like Coca-Cola.

[00:09:00] Cherry Cola, actually.

[00:09:01] Oh, C-O-L-A?

[00:09:03] Cola?

[00:09:04] Mm-hmm.

[00:09:05] She walked up to me...

[00:09:06] La-la-la-la-la-la-la.

[00:09:08] And she asked me to dance.

[00:09:10] I asked her her name.

[00:09:13] And in a dark brown voice, she said,

[00:09:16] Lola.

[00:09:18] The true meaning of Christmas.

[00:09:22] I have no idea.

[00:09:23] I have to ask a question about this movie.

[00:09:26] Ask away.

[00:09:27] Did anyone else feel that this movie was both being very progressive to like the transgender conversation,

[00:09:35] but also very transphobic at the same time?

[00:09:38] Yes.

[00:09:38] Yeah.

[00:09:38] Oh, totally.

[00:09:39] But that's kind of her direction style.

[00:09:41] Like, if you see any of her other stuff.

[00:09:44] Yeah.

[00:09:44] I have not seen anyone else.

[00:09:47] Wait, did Jeremy Moikow, who played Lola, direct this?

[00:09:54] No.

[00:09:54] No.

[00:09:55] But there's...

[00:09:56] The director also has a lot of trans content in her stuff.

[00:10:01] Yeah.

[00:10:02] Got it.

[00:10:03] Isn't there people involved with this that did the People's Joker?

[00:10:06] I thought there was.

[00:10:08] Like, I did, but I couldn't see any connection.

[00:10:10] Wow.

[00:10:10] Why do I think that?

[00:10:12] I don't know.

[00:10:12] Because it has a similar feel, but People's Joker is fun.

[00:10:15] This was absolutely not.

[00:10:17] No, this wasn't fun.

[00:10:19] All right, Bryce.

[00:10:19] What have you got to say about Carnage for Christmas?

[00:10:21] I don't have much to say about it.

[00:10:22] I can't believe that.

[00:10:23] I guess I should have taken notes because I don't remember any of that.

[00:10:27] This was Bryce's choice, by the way.

[00:10:29] Yeah, this was Bryce.

[00:10:30] Hey, hey.

[00:10:31] Just so we...

[00:10:32] No, no, no.

[00:10:32] This was my choice, and in my defense, this was the best of the three, so stick it.

[00:10:37] No, no, no.

[00:10:38] There were so many better movies we could have watched that he kiboshed.

[00:10:41] Hold on.

[00:10:42] Hold on.

[00:10:43] Hold on.

[00:10:43] No, we would have got more of this, of the other two if we would have...

[00:10:47] Everything Jim brought up was garbage.

[00:10:50] This was as good as it gets, my friend.

[00:10:51] I just want to say, so John, here's the real story, okay?

[00:10:55] You want to know the real story about our Krampus episode?

[00:10:58] I'm just loving him getting a ringside seat to this battle.

[00:11:01] Yeah, well, this is just a mini battle.

[00:11:04] Usually we have some bigger ones.

[00:11:06] So what happened was, after our third annual Krampus special, Bryce lost his shit on me

[00:11:13] because he said, you keep picking these horrible movies, which, of course, I said,

[00:11:16] where our name is Film Rage, not Film World.

[00:11:18] By the way, I believe I coined that phrase, but you keep on taking credit for it.

[00:11:24] He says, you are no longer going to pick the movies.

[00:11:29] So I only gave him six months notice that he has to have the movies picked

[00:11:34] because we needed to have the list of movies in times for John to watch them.

[00:11:40] And then at the last minute...

[00:11:41] All of a sudden, he's like, oh, we need them right now.

[00:11:44] Then he switched it up at the very end.

[00:11:46] Yeah, exactly.

[00:11:46] Like everything with Bryce.

[00:11:48] So, okay.

[00:11:48] Sorry, Bryce.

[00:11:49] Did you have more to say about Carnage for Christmas?

[00:11:52] I thought it was a rage.

[00:11:55] No kidding.

[00:11:57] Come on, you got to have a little bit more.

[00:11:59] I like the cartoons.

[00:12:00] I wish the whole movie was cartoons.

[00:12:03] So I totally do too, actually.

[00:12:05] I think that if they would have gone in that direction, it would have been watchable.

[00:12:10] As it stands, it was not because it had nothing.

[00:12:12] It was just amateur hour.

[00:12:16] And I don't care if you've got no budget.

[00:12:19] You can still make a movie look good.

[00:12:23] Yeah.

[00:12:23] It doesn't have to...

[00:12:24] The camera did look good, I will say.

[00:12:26] They did use like a good camera.

[00:12:28] They used a good camera, but they had terrible lighting.

[00:12:31] And terrible sound.

[00:12:32] And terrible sound.

[00:12:33] Wait, the first three minutes was good, though.

[00:12:35] Remember the first three minutes of this movie?

[00:12:38] When they're actually doing their podcast?

[00:12:39] In the podcast studio.

[00:12:42] And telling the creepy story.

[00:12:43] No, no shit.

[00:12:43] That did look good, and she did sound like a podcaster.

[00:12:47] That looked good until they flashed to the laptop.

[00:12:50] And then it's like, what?

[00:12:53] That looked terrible.

[00:12:54] I just...

[00:12:55] I don't know.

[00:12:56] I don't remember this movie.

[00:12:58] What was it about?

[00:12:59] It was about carnage for Christmas.

[00:13:02] I think John can fill me in on exactly what went down in this movie.

[00:13:07] There's a moment.

[00:13:08] There's a moment in this movie that...

[00:13:12] Like, before it was revealed that our main character was...

[00:13:18] Well, sorry.

[00:13:20] The moment when it's revealed that our main character is trans...

[00:13:23] Because I didn't know that from the get.

[00:13:25] I mean, you know, who's to say these days?

[00:13:29] And then all of a sudden, that just became the identity of the movie.

[00:13:33] Where everything was trans.

[00:13:35] But there's a whole conversation that they talk about chasers.

[00:13:39] And I was like, it's not just a trans thing.

[00:13:42] You know this, right?

[00:13:43] Like, every kink, every personality, there is a chaser for that.

[00:13:48] Yep.

[00:13:49] Even chasers of chasers.

[00:13:51] So the way that they're...

[00:13:53] And a couple of the other things that they're describing for en masse, you know, the audience at large.

[00:13:58] It's like, it's not just a trans thing.

[00:14:02] But, I mean, out of all these, what's your good on your rating system?

[00:14:10] Is that the meh?

[00:14:10] No, good is mondo.

[00:14:13] Meh is meh.

[00:14:15] And then rage is, of course, what we're striving for.

[00:14:20] Honestly, I'll just give this a meh.

[00:14:22] Because, like, it was fine.

[00:14:24] It did feel like it was a student film of some kind.

[00:14:28] Like, you said grade 10.

[00:14:29] And I thought it was, like, you know, film 101 in college.

[00:14:34] So you're rating it basically on the level of school project that you think it might have been?

[00:14:41] Oh, honestly, the school project I did when I was in college, like, is so much worse than this.

[00:14:49] So I'll give this a meh.

[00:14:54] And we were cramming to edit that shit, and it was never going to see the light of day.

[00:15:00] So...

[00:15:01] Now I want to see this movie.

[00:15:02] I kind of want to see...

[00:15:03] That's the only thing I want to see over the next year.

[00:15:06] How do we get a copy of John's grade 10 school project?

[00:15:12] No, this was sophomore year of college.

[00:15:16] Not my grade 10.

[00:15:17] Oh, okay.

[00:15:18] So it should be a little better.

[00:15:20] If you would think.

[00:15:24] All right, well, do you have anything else to add to Carnage for Christmas?

[00:15:30] Honestly, again, I just feel like our main actor...

[00:15:35] I don't know if she was comfortable, if, like, what was going on, but she was just all over the place.

[00:15:44] And it felt like everyone else was at least doing a better job.

[00:15:48] Like, they had that community theater credit, you know?

[00:15:53] They're more comfortable in front of a camera.

[00:15:55] And she was just like, I don't know what I'm doing!

[00:16:00] The end.

[00:16:01] The end.

[00:16:05] All right, Mert.

[00:16:06] Bring us home.

[00:16:07] Tell us more about Carnage.

[00:16:08] Now, wait a minute.

[00:16:09] Didn't the beginning of this movie start out in the shower?

[00:16:14] Yeah.

[00:16:14] Wow.

[00:16:16] In the shower.

[00:16:16] No, I thought it started with the broadcast.

[00:16:18] Oh, no, they showed the...

[00:16:20] Yeah, the murder from...

[00:16:21] Yeah, the murderer in the shower.

[00:16:22] Oh, yeah.

[00:16:23] That's what I mean.

[00:16:23] I forgot about that.

[00:16:24] Like, the first three minutes of this, I thought, wow, this is going to be great.

[00:16:27] Was that the one from, like, 30 years earlier or whatever it was?

[00:16:31] Yeah.

[00:16:32] Was that in the shower?

[00:16:33] I think so.

[00:16:34] I don't know.

[00:16:34] Every movie we watched was at a 30 minute.

[00:16:36] Except for, you know, Bigfoot versus Carampus.

[00:16:39] That was all I know.

[00:16:40] Although, I hated...

[00:16:41] Sorry, I know I said I was over, but I also hated the reveal of who the killer was.

[00:16:47] Yeah.

[00:16:47] Because it was just like, what?

[00:16:50] Yeah, but then she explained it for, like, five minutes.

[00:16:54] Yeah.

[00:16:54] Yeah, the Scooby-Doo explanation wasn't better.

[00:16:58] And he would have gotten away with it, too.

[00:17:00] But I appreciated it because I had no idea what was going on.

[00:17:02] And then after she was finished, I still had no idea what was going on.

[00:17:08] Like, spoiler, it's the person that they describe all these, like, terms to.

[00:17:14] Yes.

[00:17:16] 100%.

[00:17:16] So you know what this is, but you don't at the same...

[00:17:19] Like, what?

[00:17:22] God damn it.

[00:17:23] But still, I think it's the better of the three.

[00:17:26] Oh, it's the best movie we watched for this episode.

[00:17:29] Yes, 100%.

[00:17:30] So it's nothing but downhill from here on in, people.

[00:17:34] Yeah.

[00:17:34] All right, the Murr, tell us your thoughts on Carnage for Christmas.

[00:17:41] I had so many problems with this movie.

[00:17:43] What?

[00:17:44] Performance of the main character was not one of them.

[00:17:48] Lola was witty, funny, charming, and clearly way too good for the rest of this lame cast.

[00:17:54] There were so many plot holes.

[00:17:55] Oh, and I'm the opposite.

[00:17:56] Yeah, I know.

[00:17:57] Big surprise.

[00:18:00] There were so many plot holes, it was like watching Swiss cheese.

[00:18:04] And yeah, those flashback scenes were just horrible.

[00:18:07] So that was the best thing of the movie, other than the animation.

[00:18:11] Yeah, right.

[00:18:12] The all-too-brief kills in the movie were decent, but lacking in any real gore.

[00:18:19] I'll give you that.

[00:18:20] The whole murder mystery ending was contrived and predictable.

[00:18:24] The pacing was too slow, with way too much backstory.

[00:18:29] Even at 70 minutes, this movie was way too long.

[00:18:33] Rage.

[00:18:35] Rage.

[00:18:36] It was funny, because as Murray and I were watching this together, and then-

[00:18:41] It didn't feel like a 70-minute movie.

[00:18:43] It felt like a two-hour movie.

[00:18:46] It did.

[00:18:48] And then it was-

[00:18:49] None of these felt like the time that they were-

[00:18:52] They're all about 70 minutes, I know.

[00:18:54] Well, except for Hanukkah.

[00:18:55] It was like six hours long.

[00:18:57] Yeah, it was three hours long.

[00:18:58] That was definitely six hours long.

[00:19:00] That one was an hour and 40 minutes, allegedly, on film.

[00:19:04] But I'm like, I am watching a Netflix series right now.

[00:19:11] Soon to be.

[00:19:12] They're going to bring back Sid Haig from the dead to reappear in episode 10.

[00:19:17] All right, Jim.

[00:19:18] Now it's time for your Krampus movie.

[00:19:20] This was specially selected by you.

[00:19:23] Actually, it was selected by me.

[00:19:25] By Murray?

[00:19:28] You selected this?

[00:19:29] I don't remember.

[00:19:30] I suggested it, and you guys agreed.

[00:19:33] Jim agreed.

[00:19:34] I was like, whatever.

[00:19:36] Whatever.

[00:19:37] Because there's like 15 Krampus movies on Tubi we can watch for free.

[00:19:42] Yeah, there's-

[00:19:42] This is the one that we picked.

[00:19:43] There's a lot of Krampus on Tubi.

[00:19:45] Well-

[00:19:46] Can I also be honest and vulnerable for a hot second?

[00:19:50] Always.

[00:19:50] I know you said that these were all on Tubi.

[00:19:53] I watched-

[00:19:54] I rented them on Prime because I was like, I do not want commercials.

[00:19:58] So I am-

[00:20:00] Oh, God.

[00:20:00] The commercials were the best part, though, man.

[00:20:02] Yeah.

[00:20:03] John, you missed the best part.

[00:20:04] Yeah, but that would be even longer.

[00:20:07] But it would give you a break.

[00:20:09] Give you a break from the insanity.

[00:20:11] Yeah.

[00:20:12] That's intent of Tubi, is to make sure that you can have a mental break.

[00:20:17] Well, I'm sorry you paid money for this.

[00:20:19] Well, you know what?

[00:20:20] That just goes to show how much John loves us.

[00:20:22] I guess so.

[00:20:23] He's willing to pay-

[00:20:24] Yes, and I'm giving these people money, unfortunately, so they think that they're going to make more.

[00:20:31] I think it's funny that you paid money for these.

[00:20:37] Yeah.

[00:20:38] That's-

[00:20:39] Yeah.

[00:20:39] Back in the day, it used to be Bryce's goal to dare me to still see films.

[00:20:44] Oh, by the way-

[00:20:45] That I had to pay for-

[00:20:46] Or there's like five movies in my purchase collection that I had to physically fucking buy because we couldn't find it streaming anywhere.

[00:20:53] So I had to go on Amazon and fucking buy it.

[00:20:56] I had to make a-

[00:20:57] Finally had to make a maximum price that I'm willing to pay for a piece of shit movie.

[00:21:02] And it was 10 bucks plus tax.

[00:21:06] By the way, Shudder for Christmas?

[00:21:10] Or Shudder for Christmas?

[00:21:11] Carnage for Christmas, you can actually watch on Shudder.

[00:21:14] Yeah, but yesterday-

[00:21:16] What?

[00:21:24] Yeah, there you go.

[00:21:25] So that's when it came on.

[00:21:26] Oh, see, I-

[00:21:29] Again, I'm so happy that we had time to watch it because I did watch these with a few days in between to marinate.

[00:21:37] Except for Hanukkah.

[00:21:38] Hanukkah I watched last night.

[00:21:41] And that one I lost-

[00:21:43] That one I took the most notes on.

[00:21:45] Yeah, I watched Hanukkah last night.

[00:21:47] I don't know when I watched anything.

[00:21:49] I watched Carnage for Christmas on Shudder before last night.

[00:21:52] You guys went to the movies last night, just saying.

[00:21:54] We did go to the stars.

[00:21:55] We did, but then after we got home-

[00:21:56] When you got home, you wanted more-

[00:21:58] Yeah, we got-

[00:21:59] Rage filled.

[00:22:00] We had an early start yesterday.

[00:22:02] That's right.

[00:22:03] I cut out work early.

[00:22:04] What else is new?

[00:22:05] Oh, wow.

[00:22:05] Yeah, let's call in sick.

[00:22:06] All right, well, let's get back-

[00:22:07] I didn't call in sick.

[00:22:08] Let's get back-

[00:22:08] I just said I'm leaving.

[00:22:09] Let's get back focused on the important thing, which is our Krampus episode for this year.

[00:22:15] Available on Tubi.

[00:22:17] Available on Tubi for free.

[00:22:20] Tim, I'm so excited for you to tell me what this movie is about.

[00:22:24] Well, let's hear it.

[00:22:27] Okay, so space robot people who monitor the doings of the Illuminati.

[00:22:34] I just kept asking, where's my Krampus?

[00:22:39] And then-

[00:22:40] He shows up.

[00:22:41] And then I was asking the more important question is, what the actual fuck?

[00:22:47] And by W in the WTF, I mean why and what and where.

[00:22:55] And everything that starts with W.

[00:22:57] Can anybody else throw another W in there that might relate to the-

[00:23:01] Why?

[00:23:01] The fuck?

[00:23:02] Why?

[00:23:02] Worcestershire sauce.

[00:23:03] Worcestershire sauce, the fuck?

[00:23:05] John?

[00:23:06] Worcestershire sauce.

[00:23:07] Whore.

[00:23:08] Whore the fuck?

[00:23:10] Whore the fuck?

[00:23:10] Marie, you got a W to throw in there?

[00:23:12] I go with Wenceslas.

[00:23:14] It's a Christmas song.

[00:23:14] Wenceslas, the fuck?

[00:23:16] Yeah.

[00:23:16] So, you know, anyway, I digress.

[00:23:18] On top of that, we got pregnant, horny robots.

[00:23:23] Sorry, clones.

[00:23:24] No, they're humans.

[00:23:24] They're humans.

[00:23:25] They're humans.

[00:23:25] They're just in spacesuits.

[00:23:26] They're in spacesuits.

[00:23:28] They're clone bots.

[00:23:29] They're actually clones.

[00:23:30] Yeah, the one was a clone.

[00:23:31] They're all clones.

[00:23:33] They're all clones.

[00:23:33] One is a clone.

[00:23:35] So, okay, this is the movie that broke me.

[00:23:38] All right.

[00:23:38] Okay.

[00:23:39] Well, let me continue telling and see if that's what you got from it.

[00:23:43] Basically, the robots slash clones seem to be like some kind of storytellers of organizations

[00:23:50] that monitor the galaxy.

[00:23:52] And then, like, where the fuck is Krampus?

[00:23:54] So, this almost seemed like it was.

[00:23:57] Now, John, this may be new for you.

[00:23:59] Do you know?

[00:24:00] Have you ever heard the term YTV?

[00:24:04] That sounds familiar.

[00:24:05] It was very YTV.

[00:24:06] It was very reboot.

[00:24:08] Yeah.

[00:24:08] Actually, that's exactly the point I was going to make.

[00:24:11] This was.

[00:24:11] So, it's kind of like Nickelodeon, but it's Canadian.

[00:24:16] Okay.

[00:24:17] And they had a show called Reboot, which is almost.

[00:24:19] This is like the adult version of that.

[00:24:22] Yeah, it was more robots and stuff.

[00:24:23] Yeah.

[00:24:23] Except this was more potty mouth and sexy talk.

[00:24:30] Sexy talk.

[00:24:31] Or blue language, as Bryce likes to say.

[00:24:33] I don't partake in the blue language.

[00:24:35] But then, finally.

[00:24:36] Lies.

[00:24:37] We got Krampus with lots of trash talk, horrible dialogue.

[00:24:43] He got Space Krampus.

[00:24:44] And Space Rays Space Krampus.

[00:24:46] He's Darth Vader.

[00:24:46] Exactly.

[00:24:47] Then we got intro to Bigfoot, who looks like a monkey with big teeth,

[00:24:52] but talks like a surfer, dude.

[00:24:54] This kind of.

[00:24:55] No, no.

[00:24:56] He talks like Fat Albert.

[00:24:57] He talks in jive.

[00:24:59] Oh, okay.

[00:25:00] Let's be real here.

[00:25:01] Oh, okay.

[00:25:01] He talks in jive.

[00:25:02] Oh, okay.

[00:25:02] Sorry.

[00:25:03] He's like Fat Albert surfer.

[00:25:06] Krampus is kind of like a reappearing Christmas card lyrics,

[00:25:11] or maybe like a Christmas version of Thanos, maybe.

[00:25:17] But what I did like was when Bigfoot says to Krampus,

[00:25:20] shut your motherfucking mouth, which was cool.

[00:25:24] Did they actually meet?

[00:25:25] I forget that.

[00:25:26] I mean, they may have followed us.

[00:25:27] No, no, but he did.

[00:25:28] This was total false advertising.

[00:25:30] There was no Bigfoot versus Krampus.

[00:25:32] But he did say that.

[00:25:33] There was no versus.

[00:25:33] He did say that to Krampus over video screen or something.

[00:25:38] Okay, maybe.

[00:25:41] Yeah.

[00:25:41] Oh, sorry.

[00:25:42] Where was I?

[00:25:43] Yeah, where were you?

[00:25:44] Oh, yeah.

[00:25:45] I keep getting interrupted because this movie is so good.

[00:25:49] So just for an update, by the time we get halfway through this,

[00:25:54] I have no clue what this universe is about,

[00:25:57] what the heck is going or is actually happening.

[00:26:01] Did Krampus just appear?

[00:26:03] Did he escape?

[00:26:05] Did he get captured?

[00:26:07] And what's Big's accent?

[00:26:09] Apparently, it's Fat Albert, surfer dude.

[00:26:12] But the conversations between Krampus and Satan made it all worthwhile.

[00:26:18] It was dope, yo.

[00:26:20] Then it ends like most of, I guess, the film where I'm confused.

[00:26:27] Bigfoot never gets versus anything.

[00:26:29] And I have no clue what the point of Krampus or anything was in this film.

[00:26:36] And I think there was the first film that was maybe written, produced, directed,

[00:26:43] and performed by AI all by itself.

[00:26:46] That's my guess.

[00:26:47] No.

[00:26:47] This was written, directed, produced, and created by an AI machine.

[00:26:52] I have an answer.

[00:26:56] Oh.

[00:26:56] Because I also thought that.

[00:26:57] And I looked into our director, whose name is BC-14.

[00:27:02] I'm not kidding.

[00:27:03] And that is the factoid that is on his Wikipedia, IMDB, and other sources that I looked up.

[00:27:10] That is like, yes, his name is really BC-14.

[00:27:14] 14 is spelled out.

[00:27:15] And he's been an actor in live-action movies.

[00:27:20] There are photos of him.

[00:27:22] You can Google him.

[00:27:23] And I think he's the only human involved in all of this.

[00:27:27] Yes.

[00:27:28] He also likes to write smutty novels that are about bondage and other extreme kinks under a pen name.

[00:27:38] Did you record the list?

[00:27:39] Did you record the list?

[00:27:40] Because I'd like, can you send me that list after?

[00:27:42] Yes.

[00:27:43] I mean, I'll just send you his Wikipedia page where it lists his partial bibliography.

[00:27:48] Oh, perfect.

[00:27:48] As Alicia Collar, Sadie Masters, and Tyra Knott and Fiona Fox are his other, are his pen names.

[00:27:59] Tyra Knott?

[00:28:01] Knott.

[00:28:03] Knott.

[00:28:04] Like, like, like tying knots, but it's Tyra Knott.

[00:28:08] Yes.

[00:28:09] K-N-O-T-S, yeah.

[00:28:10] Sounds awesome.

[00:28:13] Because, honestly, I was just like, this is all AI.

[00:28:16] But somebody had to feed it into AI, so it's him.

[00:28:20] He's the one who had to, like, you know, feed it.

[00:28:23] This felt like, you know, those memes or those videos where it's like, I fed AI a thousand hours of enter subject here.

[00:28:31] And this is the script it came up with.

[00:28:33] So, obviously, BC-14 fed AI a thousand plus hours of Christmas movies, Krampus movies, Star Wars, space movies, everything else.

[00:28:45] And he created a whole universe.

[00:28:46] The reason why we're all confused about this one is because there's more movies in this franchise.

[00:28:52] There's a whole list of them.

[00:28:54] There's Bigfoot versus Megalodon.

[00:28:57] There's Bigfoot versus Megalodon 2.

[00:29:00] Exactly.

[00:29:03] So, we're watching just one episode of this whole series.

[00:29:08] So, what we need to do is go back and watch them all.

[00:29:11] Yes.

[00:29:12] Let's do that.

[00:29:13] Let's not.

[00:29:14] Because, like, honestly, watching this, it just felt like everyone was just saying exposition.

[00:29:19] Yeah.

[00:29:20] And I was like, oh, because it's a series.

[00:29:23] So, when you talk about the clown randomly and he shows up at the end in the villain Space Force, like, this movie is the one that broke me.

[00:29:35] I, yeah.

[00:29:37] I was talking about it with some people at work and I was just like, oh, I remember all these other things, too.

[00:29:42] Because, by the way, I watched all these movies not sober.

[00:29:46] Well, thank God.

[00:29:48] You did the right thing, John.

[00:29:50] You did the right thing.

[00:29:51] My plan was to watch them twice, sober and not sober, but I was just like, fuck that noise.

[00:29:57] I can't.

[00:29:57] I can't do it.

[00:29:59] I believe if you truly want to get to the start of this whole series of movies, I think the first one was Bigfoot versus the Illuminati that connects all these.

[00:30:11] Which kind of makes sense because they're created to protect us from the Illuminati.

[00:30:14] But, yeah, this, yeah.

[00:30:17] I mean, I guess if he's just feeding stuff into an AI machine, I guess it's not that impressive.

[00:30:24] But I thought maybe the hardest working director in the history of anything.

[00:30:29] Because, you know, he literally put out 10 movies in 2023.

[00:30:33] Yeah, he has 130 writing credits.

[00:30:37] And I'm using air quotes around that.

[00:30:40] And he's directed 33 movies.

[00:30:43] Yeah.

[00:30:44] Yeah.

[00:30:44] So he's Uwe Boll?

[00:30:45] And maybe he's actually Uwe Boll.

[00:30:47] It's actually Uwe Boll that found AI?

[00:30:51] No, it's BC-14.

[00:30:53] Right.

[00:30:53] But that's the biggest thing.

[00:30:55] I swear, if you Google search him, you can find an image.

[00:30:57] Because he also acted in some movies.

[00:31:01] But the thing that kind of confused me is, like, sometimes our main person in this one, I forget that character's name.

[00:31:15] Like, it sounded like an actual person was recorded outside on an iPhone.

[00:31:21] But the rest of the time, it was just the AI doing the work.

[00:31:27] Yeah.

[00:31:28] Did anyone?

[00:31:28] No, I felt the same way.

[00:31:31] Totally.

[00:31:32] Because I looked at the cast list, and there are zero pictures involved.

[00:31:35] And I was like, oh, good.

[00:31:36] This is all AI.

[00:31:37] Well, it could be.

[00:31:39] Marie, what's that director's name that everybody uses when they're embarrassed of their movie?

[00:31:43] Alan Smithy.

[00:31:44] Yeah, Alan Smithy.

[00:31:46] So it's kind of like every actor in this was probably, like, the actor's version of Alan Smithy.

[00:31:50] Well, they had to have human voiceovers at some point.

[00:31:53] Well, they list people's names.

[00:31:55] They list people's names.

[00:31:57] Yeah, but if you notice, they're all in BC-14 movies.

[00:32:01] Yeah, so him and his friends.

[00:32:03] Yeah.

[00:32:04] Are we sure that they're real friends, or are they AI friends?

[00:32:10] You know what?

[00:32:11] They didn't sound AI.

[00:32:11] You know what?

[00:32:12] This is a mystery that only Lola could solve.

[00:32:15] I'm just looking at this.

[00:32:16] Apparently, BC-14 is also known as BC-Fertney.

[00:32:20] He is also a gentleman by the name of Christopher Maitland.

[00:32:25] Wait, it could be a they.

[00:32:26] We don't know he's a he.

[00:32:28] If he's maybe not real.

[00:32:30] All the Christopher Maitland seem to be all kiddie movies.

[00:32:36] So he's doing a lot of good stuff.

[00:32:39] All the pronouns on everything, Jim, are he, him.

[00:32:43] Oh, all right.

[00:32:45] But I was just wondering, so what is the pronoun of an AI person that's alive?

[00:32:51] It.

[00:32:51] It.

[00:32:51] Is it?

[00:32:52] It refers to itself as it?

[00:32:55] I don't know.

[00:32:56] In the first person?

[00:32:57] Like, it went to the store?

[00:32:59] All right.

[00:33:00] Maybe.

[00:33:01] The collective we, you know?

[00:33:03] Yeah.

[00:33:04] Because it has, it can be multiple voices.

[00:33:06] Yeah, I guess.

[00:33:07] It can be any voice, I guess.

[00:33:09] Huh.

[00:33:10] Wow.

[00:33:10] Right.

[00:33:10] I feel like we've talked about this movie too long already.

[00:33:13] Yeah, why are we still talking about this movie?

[00:33:14] Wait, not everybody's had their chance.

[00:33:15] I've had my chance.

[00:33:16] No, you have to say.

[00:33:18] I already said plenty.

[00:33:19] Okay, well.

[00:33:20] Because this broke me, that's why we took so long.

[00:33:23] Because I needed to therapize with you three.

[00:33:25] That's right.

[00:33:25] You know what?

[00:33:26] That's a stupid movie.

[00:33:27] I'm trying to remember the movie that broke our guest last year on Krampus.

[00:33:31] It'll come to me.

[00:33:32] You didn't have a guest last year.

[00:33:33] We didn't?

[00:33:34] Oh, you're right.

[00:33:35] We didn't.

[00:33:36] Nobody would come on.

[00:33:38] Exactly.

[00:33:40] I listened to that one in preparation for this.

[00:33:42] And Jim, I'm surprised that you said that you like Charlie Brown Christmas because on

[00:33:46] my podcast, you talk about your love of opera all the time.

[00:33:50] Yes.

[00:33:50] So.

[00:33:51] Yeah, but then there's an exception because the Charlie Brown Christmas has the best soundtrack

[00:33:57] of any movie that's ever been created.

[00:34:00] That's fair.

[00:34:01] That is fair.

[00:34:02] Vince was.

[00:34:03] And it is lots of music if you think about it.

[00:34:05] Yeah.

[00:34:05] A hundred percent.

[00:34:07] Like, you know what we need is a, like when Charlie Brown gets released into public domain,

[00:34:13] we need to have a Charlie Brown murderous against Winnie the Pooh.

[00:34:18] I don't know if Apple will ever get their greasy claws out from under that because they

[00:34:23] bought up everything and now nobody can watch it.

[00:34:25] So can you re-register?

[00:34:27] Because Winnie the Pooh is fair game.

[00:34:29] Yeah.

[00:34:29] Mickey Mouse became fair game.

[00:34:31] Well.

[00:34:32] No, not Mickey.

[00:34:33] Steamboat Willie.

[00:34:34] Oh, just Steamboat Willie.

[00:34:35] Okay.

[00:34:35] So at some point.

[00:34:37] There's a Popeye movie coming out as well soon.

[00:34:40] Oh, yeah.

[00:34:40] There's a new Popeye.

[00:34:42] Yeah, Popeye the Sailor Slayer Man, I think.

[00:34:44] The Slayer Man.

[00:34:45] That's right.

[00:34:46] Awesome.

[00:34:47] Okay.

[00:34:47] So nobody has anything else they want.

[00:34:49] Wait.

[00:34:49] There's one thing I do have to end this with.

[00:34:52] So if it, Murray, do you have anything else you want to add to Krampus versus Big?

[00:34:55] No, not really.

[00:34:56] I just want to apologize for even recommending it because, yeah, I thought it would be better

[00:35:00] than it was.

[00:35:00] I didn't watch the trailer.

[00:35:02] I just thought Bigfoot Krampus sounds awesome.

[00:35:04] It does sound awesome.

[00:35:05] And the trailer.

[00:35:12] I was just putting it out.

[00:35:12] I didn't realize it was all going to be CG and animation.

[00:35:15] The trailer looked awesome.

[00:35:16] The trailer looked awesome because it was like Krampus in space.

[00:35:19] I thought it was going to be the best Krampus movie we've seen.

[00:35:21] I thought it was going to rival Rare Exports.

[00:35:24] Yeah, no, I hated this film so much.

[00:35:25] I'd rather watch Granny Krampus or Uncle Krampus or any of the other 15 Krampus films on

[00:35:31] Tubi at the moment.

[00:35:32] Murray, first off, you don't need to apologize for doing Bryce's job.

[00:35:36] Bryce is terrible.

[00:35:38] Excuse me, I was doing my job and then you jumped in and took over.

[00:35:43] So whatever.

[00:35:44] I do have something to share with you all, by the way.

[00:35:47] I have this calendar of cartoon cats in horror movies for every month.

[00:35:54] And for December, it's Krampus cat.

[00:35:57] Oh, my God.

[00:35:58] That's adorable.

[00:35:59] There you go.

[00:36:00] Where did you get that calendar?

[00:36:02] I don't remember.

[00:36:05] Calendar store?

[00:36:06] You know what?

[00:36:07] That's all I want for Krampus now.

[00:36:10] And it's not my two-first team.

[00:36:11] It's called Scaredy Cat.

[00:36:15] Where the cat is...

[00:36:21] I love this.

[00:36:22] It's literally the best.

[00:36:23] Sorry.

[00:36:23] I had to share it since it was Krampus and we're doing Krampus.

[00:36:27] And it's a Krampus cat.

[00:36:28] You know what?

[00:36:29] There's nothing better than cat videos and Krampus videos.

[00:36:31] So to end this discussion on Krampus versus Bigfoot, I'm going to say, not today, Satan.

[00:36:41] Not today.

[00:36:43] Okay.

[00:36:45] And that's a unanimous...

[00:36:46] They want to kill humanity.

[00:36:47] A unanimous rage, I'm going to say.

[00:36:50] Is there one, like, past rage?

[00:36:54] Is there, like, super rage or something?

[00:36:56] We've discussed super rage, but Bryce won't let us have another classification, John.

[00:37:01] Oh.

[00:37:02] Okay.

[00:37:02] It got too many as it is.

[00:37:05] But are you sure for this one you don't want to gamble, like, an exception?

[00:37:08] Cisco and Ebert got by with thumbs up and thumbs down.

[00:37:11] And we want, like, 6,000 different ratings.

[00:37:13] They went thumbs sideways at the end.

[00:37:14] No.

[00:37:15] Nobody did thumbs sideways.

[00:37:19] Sorry, John.

[00:37:20] What were you saying?

[00:37:21] I'm sure it was more important.

[00:37:23] I was asking if, like, we can make an exception for this piece of shit.

[00:37:27] Oh, wait.

[00:37:28] But there's another one that's coming after this.

[00:37:30] No, but for this special occasion, I'll give you the quadruple.

[00:37:34] Oh, right.

[00:37:48] We didn't get unanimous on the first one.

[00:37:50] No, we did not.

[00:37:52] All right.

[00:37:52] Well, you know what we need to do now, people?

[00:37:56] The first time we've gone...

[00:37:58] Jewish.

[00:37:59] Well, the first time we've gone Jewish,

[00:38:01] but also the first time that we've ever done another culture at Christmas or Krampus,

[00:38:11] which is fantastic.

[00:38:15] So, what's happening?

[00:38:18] I don't know.

[00:38:19] All right.

[00:38:20] He's not even in it.

[00:38:20] Get your shit together.

[00:38:21] Just go.

[00:38:22] All right, John.

[00:38:23] Lead us off with our extra special holiday season horror film.

[00:38:30] Me?

[00:38:31] Okay.

[00:38:32] Yeah.

[00:38:32] So, Hanukkah, which came out in 2019.

[00:38:37] I'm not 100% sure if this movie was a parody or if it was just funny on accident.

[00:38:43] But it's a play off of Halloween to the point that they cast PJ Soule in this.

[00:38:51] Yes.

[00:38:52] From Stripes.

[00:38:54] But she was in Halloween and she reprises some of her...

[00:38:58] Yeah.

[00:38:59] She was the naked chick in the bedroom who gets murdered.

[00:39:05] Okay.

[00:39:05] But she reprises...

[00:39:07] Well, yes.

[00:39:08] There's a lot of boobies in this one.

[00:39:10] Yep, there is.

[00:39:11] I hope these actresses who were completely naked got paid very well.

[00:39:17] Money for it.

[00:39:17] Yeah.

[00:39:18] I doubt it because, again, this one felt like another school project.

[00:39:23] Sand film.

[00:39:24] Oh.

[00:39:26] This one and Carnage for Christmas are the same exact movies because whatever the theme is,

[00:39:33] is the whole identity of the movie.

[00:39:35] So, Carnage for Christmas, it was all about transgender and trans women and all that.

[00:39:40] This one, it's about being Jewish to the point where I'm not sure if our final girl is Adam,

[00:39:48] the Jewish guy who tries to out-Jew the killer.

[00:39:58] But, yeah, they're making meta-commentary in this because they want to be Wes Craven,

[00:40:05] where they're like, oh, we want more Jewish horror films or other Jewish representation,

[00:40:12] and then they're clearly doing it.

[00:40:15] Oh, my God, this movie broke me as well.

[00:40:18] Wow!

[00:40:20] I took the most notes on this one because I was just like, what the fuck?

[00:40:25] What?

[00:40:26] It felt like they were just following the formula of slasher movies from the 80s,

[00:40:33] but with a whole scene where you see somebody getting skinned alive.

[00:40:41] Just the top of his head.

[00:40:43] To which, oh, no, no, no, no.

[00:40:45] The girl.

[00:40:46] Oh, right.

[00:40:47] The one who gets her chest.

[00:40:48] Yeah.

[00:40:48] Yeah.

[00:40:49] You watch that.

[00:40:50] To which I was just like, somebody knows makeup.

[00:40:52] One of their friends was like, I just learned makeup.

[00:40:55] Let's do a movie.

[00:40:58] But yeah, when the Hanu killer cut off the skull of a white supremacist and wore that as a yarmulke,

[00:41:11] I was just like, I'm in.

[00:41:12] But unfortunately, it was still very, very bad.

[00:41:19] I didn't understand a lot of this movie.

[00:41:22] And then Charles Fleischer comes in, who I was just like, please do the Roger Rabbit voice.

[00:41:27] But he didn't.

[00:41:27] And that was very upsetting about that.

[00:41:29] But he comes in and he's finally a voice of reason in all of these stupid slasher movies being like, your friends are dead.

[00:41:38] You wonder why they're missing?

[00:41:40] They're dead.

[00:41:41] So.

[00:41:42] Which, oh, I got things to say about that.

[00:41:45] But go on.

[00:41:46] So I don't know if this is what you wanted me to do, but this is what I did anyway.

[00:41:49] No, this is exactly what I wanted you to do.

[00:41:52] This is awesome.

[00:41:53] Great.

[00:41:54] Now you can add two cents.

[00:41:56] I also don't understand.

[00:41:58] So Sid Heig plays the killer.

[00:42:02] But is he the little boy in the opening?

[00:42:06] Yes.

[00:42:07] Right?

[00:42:08] I think so.

[00:42:09] Yeah, I think so.

[00:42:10] Yeah.

[00:42:10] Yeah.

[00:42:11] Okay.

[00:42:11] Because we get the flashbacks of his mom and they're doing Jewish studies or whatever.

[00:42:18] And honestly, a lot of the stuff in this movie was for the audience to learn about Judaism, I feel like.

[00:42:25] You know, they keep saying Shema and other things.

[00:42:30] And then they keep referring to Leviticus.

[00:42:33] And it's like, why?

[00:42:34] That's the worst book of the Bible.

[00:42:37] Is there a worst book?

[00:42:39] I think they're all the same, aren't they?

[00:42:41] That's the one where it's like, hey, if you do this, this is the consequence.

[00:42:45] If you do this, this is the consequence.

[00:42:47] So.

[00:42:48] Well.

[00:42:49] Like, do a parable, please.

[00:42:52] Yes.

[00:42:52] Oh, you want the New Testament is what I'm hearing.

[00:42:54] I want.

[00:42:55] Well, that will get into Christianity then.

[00:42:58] What a happy story.

[00:42:59] Oh, right.

[00:43:00] We only want the original.

[00:43:02] Oh, no.

[00:43:03] No, like David killing Goliath.

[00:43:05] That kind of thing.

[00:43:07] Give me some God smite.

[00:43:09] You know, give me some of that.

[00:43:10] Because in the Old Testament, God was a little bitch.

[00:43:13] Oh, yeah.

[00:43:14] He used to like smite, like smote or.

[00:43:17] Yeah.

[00:43:18] Like Job.

[00:43:19] Took away everything Job ever had.

[00:43:21] And like, oh, yeah.

[00:43:22] You sought to love me.

[00:43:23] That's right.

[00:43:24] Prove your love to me.

[00:43:25] Murder your son.

[00:43:26] That's right.

[00:43:27] Cane and Abel.

[00:43:28] Yeah.

[00:43:28] Kill your brother.

[00:43:29] There wasn't mental health issues and inbreeding going on back then.

[00:43:33] It was like.

[00:43:33] Anyway, that's a whole thing.

[00:43:34] You know what?

[00:43:35] I need to.

[00:43:35] As opposed to today.

[00:43:37] So, yeah.

[00:43:38] So, Christianity is screwed up too.

[00:43:39] Maybe column A, column B.

[00:43:41] Maybe.

[00:43:43] Yeah.

[00:43:44] But a lot of the.

[00:43:46] God.

[00:43:47] That whole Jewish shop where they're listing Leviticus and talking about how the killer shouldn't kill.

[00:43:55] I was like, what is this?

[00:43:57] It honestly felt like that guy, the one that played Adam, was the writer-director, but he's not.

[00:44:05] It's somebody else completely.

[00:44:07] It's not BC-14, unfortunately.

[00:44:08] I wish it was.

[00:44:10] Oh, my God.

[00:44:10] That would be so good.

[00:44:12] But then we'd have robots.

[00:44:14] It would be robots and it'd be animated.

[00:44:16] Yeah.

[00:44:17] Yeah.

[00:44:18] Yeah.

[00:44:18] But this, honestly, this one, it felt dated, but with modern gore, if you will.

[00:44:24] Mm-hmm.

[00:44:25] Because there's that one scene where the two women are just randomly putting on dresses for one of their friend's sisters.

[00:44:34] And they're just like boobies out about to make out.

[00:44:37] And I was just like, oh, this movie is for lonely, very, very lonely single Jewish men.

[00:44:44] Jewish men.

[00:44:45] Yeah.

[00:44:45] Mm-hmm.

[00:44:46] Exactly.

[00:44:46] Mm-hmm.

[00:44:48] Or people who like dirty boobies.

[00:44:52] I didn't pick this, right?

[00:44:53] No.

[00:44:54] There was a, no, okay.

[00:44:56] Because Jim asked me to pick a movie and I was like, oh, here's some.

[00:44:59] And he's like, we already did them.

[00:45:01] And I went, fuck.

[00:45:02] So.

[00:45:03] I was hoping for a musical personally, but that didn't happen.

[00:45:06] Okay, have we done Anna and the Apocalypse?

[00:45:09] I don't think we have.

[00:45:11] I mean, we all loved it.

[00:45:12] Yeah, but that movie is actually good.

[00:45:14] So, like, it just negates the purpose.

[00:45:17] Well, you know, sometimes.

[00:45:19] Well, how about that new one that just came out?

[00:45:20] Speaking of new releases, the one you guys refused to go to.

[00:45:24] The Christmas pageant one, whatever it was.

[00:45:27] That's not a, well, it's a horror to me.

[00:45:28] It's a Christmas movie.

[00:45:29] Yeah, but we're not, we're not, this isn't a Christmas episode.

[00:45:32] It was, it's a Krampus episode.

[00:45:34] Okay.

[00:45:35] So, okay.

[00:45:35] Let me just repeat what our model is for Krampus episode.

[00:45:40] Number one has to have a Krampus movie.

[00:45:42] Number two has to have a new release.

[00:45:44] And then number three.

[00:45:46] Yes.

[00:45:46] New release horror.

[00:45:48] We didn't specify that.

[00:45:49] It's always a horror.

[00:45:50] It's Krampus.

[00:45:51] And number three is supposedly a Christmas rage.

[00:45:55] It just so happens this year we got all Christmas rage.

[00:45:59] Except for John's generosity.

[00:46:04] Now, do you have a rating for Hanukkah?

[00:46:10] I mean, I'm, I, I'm somewhere in between meh and rage, but I think I'm going to lean more towards rage.

[00:46:17] So rage.

[00:46:18] Well placed.

[00:46:20] Awesome.

[00:46:21] You're, you're, you know what?

[00:46:22] You're probably the most generous guest we've ever had.

[00:46:27] Well, I'm willing to give, they're doing the thing.

[00:46:31] You know, they're, they made a movie.

[00:46:33] I'll give them credit for that.

[00:46:34] And unlike Bigfoot, that one, I, I, I'll never get that time back in my life.

[00:46:42] But these two, I'm like.

[00:46:43] Money.

[00:46:43] Don't forget the money.

[00:46:45] Ah, money.

[00:46:47] At least they, I think, I think I spent under $5 for each movie.

[00:46:53] Nice.

[00:46:53] So, so we were good, but not at the thing.

[00:46:59] But yeah, uh, like, honestly, this movie was so, I, it, it didn't know what this movie wanted to be.

[00:47:08] Like, this movie was just like, we're being parody, but also saw at the same time.

[00:47:15] Bear trap.

[00:47:16] Yay.

[00:47:17] Ish.

[00:47:19] Yeah.

[00:47:19] Ish.

[00:47:20] A hundred percent.

[00:47:21] All right, Murr, what do you got to say about Hanukkah?

[00:47:25] I don't know if I can approve on anything.

[00:47:27] Um, yeah, I was hoping to learn more about the Jewish holiday Hanukkah from this film.

[00:47:32] Being the Gentile lost that I am.

[00:47:35] Yes!

[00:47:35] I know nothing about Hanukkah.

[00:47:36] Nothing.

[00:47:37] I know that it's eight days.

[00:47:38] That's all I know.

[00:47:39] It did teach a lot, actually.

[00:47:41] Eight crazy, eight crazy nights.

[00:47:43] I didn't even know any Jewish people when I was growing up.

[00:47:46] Just a town full of stuck-up Catholics, most of whom I was related to.

[00:47:51] So that was my upbringing.

[00:47:52] There was a lot of molestation going on in Murr.

[00:47:54] Sorry.

[00:47:55] This film didn't really do much to educate me, except that it seemed like most Jewish teens

[00:47:59] and young people don't give a crap about their own religious customs.

[00:48:05] So they deserve to die.

[00:48:06] Yeah, as the killer of this movie likes to say, they were bad Jews.

[00:48:11] Maybe they deserve to die.

[00:48:13] This movie also took from Cabin in the Woods, it felt like.

[00:48:17] Because, you know, when Sigourney Weaver shows up and she's like, oh, you all are an archetype.

[00:48:23] Yeah.

[00:48:24] So this movie was just like, okay, we need the whore.

[00:48:27] We need the jock.

[00:48:27] We need the comedian.

[00:48:30] We need the final girl, which I'm not sure who exactly the final girl is because everyone dies.

[00:48:37] Or I think.

[00:48:39] I think there's a final boy in this.

[00:48:43] There's a final boy and then there's a tag at the end where Charles Fleischer's character, right?

[00:48:52] Is it him who dies at the end and there's that funeral?

[00:48:56] Yeah, you're right.

[00:48:57] That is him that dies.

[00:48:58] He does die.

[00:48:59] Yes.

[00:49:00] He does die.

[00:49:01] We don't see it.

[00:49:02] He dies.

[00:49:02] And then his brother shows up.

[00:49:04] And you're like, why is this here?

[00:49:05] I don't even know why he showed up.

[00:49:08] Like, and how did everybody find everybody all the time randomly at places they had no

[00:49:14] clue where they were?

[00:49:15] Like, it was just like, what?

[00:49:18] And then.

[00:49:18] Yeah.

[00:49:19] Adam went to that one house.

[00:49:21] There was that one moment where he was going to the outhouse or something or the shed and

[00:49:25] he was like, fuck this.

[00:49:26] And then he ended up going.

[00:49:27] And that's when he.

[00:49:28] Yeah.

[00:49:30] Yeah.

[00:49:30] And there was just like, so the killer lived next door the whole time.

[00:49:34] Like, was that what it was?

[00:49:38] I was so confused by the rules of this movie as well, where it's like the Hanu killer is

[00:49:44] murdering everyone because they're not Jewish enough or they're following the, they're straying

[00:49:49] from the Jewish path.

[00:49:51] But also how many people does he murder each night?

[00:49:55] Yeah.

[00:49:56] Well, and he made.

[00:49:57] Sometimes it's five.

[00:49:58] Sometimes it's one.

[00:49:59] You know, who knows?

[00:50:00] Didn't he make like, there was 53 other commandments, which I wanted to know.

[00:50:05] Like, of the only thing I really wanted to know at the end of this were what were the

[00:50:08] other 53 commandments?

[00:50:10] He starts listing them.

[00:50:12] Yeah, but I want to know.

[00:50:13] He does start listing them.

[00:50:14] And then, and that's when Adam was like, your father bastardized, blah, blah, blah.

[00:50:20] And I'm just going to talk gently to you, even though you can kill me at any second.

[00:50:25] I mean, he was like, I wish, I wish Adam had the most violent death out of all of them.

[00:50:31] And it's unfortunate that the other woman whose name I forget got the most violent death.

[00:50:36] And I was like, but Adam, you were the worst character.

[00:50:41] Yeah, he was literally the worst character.

[00:50:44] My favorite.

[00:50:45] I'm sorry, I keep taking over everyone at the time.

[00:50:47] No, no, no.

[00:50:48] It's, you know what?

[00:50:49] You're the guest.

[00:50:50] So, and apparently Bryce is going to have lots to say about this.

[00:50:55] Keep on going, Murr.

[00:50:59] I will give some props for the Gory Kill scenes.

[00:51:02] They were very well done.

[00:51:03] But almost two hours.

[00:51:05] The ones that we saw.

[00:51:06] The ones we saw.

[00:51:06] But they're way, it was two hours long.

[00:51:09] It was way too many slow and boring scenes in the middle of all this.

[00:51:13] I just like pretty much every character in this film.

[00:51:17] I couldn't wait for them to die.

[00:51:18] I also couldn't wait for this movie to end.

[00:51:21] It was another holiday rage.

[00:51:23] It was horrible.

[00:51:24] Yeah.

[00:51:25] But, you know, I just want to say Mazel Tov, motherfuckers.

[00:51:30] There you go.

[00:51:31] We finally got a Jewish holiday horror film.

[00:51:38] Oh, did you guys laugh when Rachel kept shouting, fuck me with your micro dick?

[00:51:43] Yeah.

[00:51:44] Like.

[00:51:44] That was pretty funny.

[00:51:46] I must say.

[00:51:46] That was pretty good.

[00:51:48] I'm not going to lie.

[00:51:49] After she had the hookup with the other woman, the other girl.

[00:51:53] Yeah, yeah.

[00:51:54] Yeah.

[00:51:55] I just kind of was wondering through the whole time I was watching this.

[00:51:59] Like, I had a whole big analytics written up for this.

[00:52:03] But I'm just going to pull out some of the things that I'm kind of like.

[00:52:06] So what was the point?

[00:52:07] Like, he would kill people that weren't Jewish enough.

[00:52:12] But with women, he strips them naked and throws them into mud.

[00:52:16] For, like, are they marinating in the mud?

[00:52:19] Like, is that what the purpose is?

[00:52:20] Is this like a Jewish custom that you marinate women, naked women in the mud for before you kill them?

[00:52:27] Was it mud or was it blood?

[00:52:30] There was some moment.

[00:52:32] Like, in the cold open, though.

[00:52:35] I thought that was, like, the one in the bathtub.

[00:52:37] I thought that was blood.

[00:52:39] You know what?

[00:52:40] Who knows?

[00:52:41] Who knows?

[00:52:41] But that's what I'm like.

[00:52:43] Like, with certain people, he kills them instantly.

[00:52:46] And then other ones, he's like, you know what?

[00:52:48] We should take their clothes off and get them all dirty.

[00:52:52] And then other ones, we don't even see him murder them.

[00:52:55] Yeah.

[00:52:56] Well, because they only had.

[00:52:57] They just show up as a dead body.

[00:52:58] They only had so much.

[00:53:01] Like, budget, maybe.

[00:53:04] And, like, my big question is, did Sid Haig actually die while they were filming this?

[00:53:11] Because, like, were they maybe not supposed to have killed him?

[00:53:14] And he was going to be the whole killer in this?

[00:53:17] And then all of a sudden, it was kind of like, uh-oh, Sid Haig died.

[00:53:20] We better keep his character.

[00:53:22] And then they had to reshoot it all?

[00:53:25] Because it was dedicated to Sid Haig and somebody else, wasn't it?

[00:53:29] It was dedicated to, like, three or four.

[00:53:32] Yeah, so did, like, three or four people die after it?

[00:53:35] Like, I know I've said this many times.

[00:53:37] Died of shame.

[00:53:38] Yeah, that's exactly right.

[00:53:39] There was somebody in there that they dedicated.

[00:53:41] It was, like, Robert Forster.

[00:53:43] And he had nothing to do with this movie.

[00:53:44] So I don't know why.

[00:53:45] Maybe Robert Forster was an executive producer.

[00:53:47] I don't think he was.

[00:53:48] Because he's Jewish.

[00:53:49] Do you think they had executive producers on this movie?

[00:53:53] Well, somebody had to pay for this.

[00:53:54] They don't actually do anything.

[00:53:55] They just sit around, drink coffee.

[00:53:57] They don't do anything on the movie.

[00:53:59] Don't they give money?

[00:54:00] No.

[00:54:01] Yes.

[00:54:01] Yeah, and their name.

[00:54:02] Exactly.

[00:54:03] But the producer producer is the one who actually does everything.

[00:54:06] Yeah, but the executive producer is the one that.

[00:54:07] Executives do nothing.

[00:54:08] Gave them money.

[00:54:09] So maybe he gave them money.

[00:54:11] Maybe he gave them a hundred bucks.

[00:54:11] Who knows?

[00:54:12] Yeah.

[00:54:13] Maybe.

[00:54:14] This movie made me sad.

[00:54:16] Yeah.

[00:54:17] Yeah, you know, I felt kind of conflicted about it.

[00:54:20] Because I'm like, I'm feeling like we needed to have Hanukkah murder spree.

[00:54:26] It's a good idea.

[00:54:28] Yes.

[00:54:29] Yes.

[00:54:29] But it's poorly executed.

[00:54:31] And even some of the stuff where there is some teaching going on in this movie.

[00:54:38] And that's kind of cool.

[00:54:40] But it's just completely just icky.

[00:54:44] Yeah.

[00:54:44] You know, I think in the right hands, like if this was potentially in Eli Roth's hands, because

[00:54:53] he's Jewish.

[00:54:54] Right?

[00:54:55] This could have been another Thanksgiving.

[00:54:56] Make it super gory and like streamline it a little bit more.

[00:55:00] Yes.

[00:55:00] Because that party scene with the random Russians.

[00:55:05] Yeah.

[00:55:05] Yeah, the Russians.

[00:55:06] Yeah.

[00:55:06] What is that?

[00:55:07] Well, there is a whole Jewish faction of Russians.

[00:55:10] Yeah.

[00:55:10] Yeah.

[00:55:10] But so they needed to give them space.

[00:55:13] It honestly felt like this was an acting class that was like, let's make a movie.

[00:55:18] And my friend does makeup.

[00:55:19] So let's do it.

[00:55:20] Let's make a Jewish horror movie because half of us are Jewish and the other half are Russian.

[00:55:26] Well, there could be Russian Jews.

[00:55:28] Yes.

[00:55:29] Let's be fair here.

[00:55:31] Maybe just everybody.

[00:55:32] Hey, Jim, to that I say, so what?

[00:55:34] Are you saying like, like the high?

[00:55:38] What I'm saying is once again, we've talked about this movie way too long.

[00:55:43] It's time to move on.

[00:55:45] There's nothing.

[00:55:45] Okay.

[00:55:46] So, but I need to know.

[00:55:50] You don't need to know anything.

[00:55:53] No, this, this, this movie shouldn't be raising so many questions.

[00:55:57] This movie should be forgotten about.

[00:55:59] What?

[00:56:00] It's the first Jewish horror holiday.

[00:56:04] And let's hope it's not the last one because if this is all they got, then that's a problem.

[00:56:09] You know, we get ways too many Christmas movies.

[00:56:12] Yeah.

[00:56:13] And Christmas horror movies.

[00:56:14] Can't Santa killing anyone.

[00:56:16] Let's have a good Hana killer.

[00:56:18] Yeah.

[00:56:18] Not this.

[00:56:19] Actually, we get consistent spinning of the dreidel.

[00:56:22] I needed to know more about that dreidel.

[00:56:24] The dreidel.

[00:56:25] That was actually cool.

[00:56:26] I liked when the dreidel would spin.

[00:56:28] And, but then, but then.

[00:56:29] The dreidel depicting on like, depending on how he would murder the people.

[00:56:33] That's what I was hoping.

[00:56:35] But I kind of wish I knew that.

[00:56:36] I thought that that was the idea.

[00:56:37] But then I don't know what was going on.

[00:56:39] And then.

[00:56:40] Although I.

[00:56:40] When the guy was taking a leak in the bathroom.

[00:56:42] And he spins the dreidel on the windowsill.

[00:56:44] And then the guy just disappears.

[00:56:46] It's like, well.

[00:56:46] Like, what?

[00:56:47] I don't.

[00:56:48] Maybe that was.

[00:56:49] Although I did like it at the end when he used the Yamaskol.

[00:56:54] And then the dreidel in that.

[00:56:57] And Adam was like, was that for me?

[00:56:58] And he went, no.

[00:57:00] And then murdered the other guy.

[00:57:02] Like, that was hilarious.

[00:57:04] Although, again, I'm not sure if this movie meant to be funny.

[00:57:09] It was totally meant to be funny.

[00:57:11] First off, Yamaskol?

[00:57:13] Come on.

[00:57:14] That was me.

[00:57:16] I coined that term.

[00:57:17] Yes.

[00:57:18] Trademark.

[00:57:19] You know, here's the thing.

[00:57:21] The best thing about this movie is the fact that we got so many phrases from John that we're going to be able to use for years to come.

[00:57:31] Yamaskol.

[00:57:32] What was some of the other great ones you've heard from this episode?

[00:57:35] I don't.

[00:57:36] Fuck.

[00:57:36] You have to rewind the tapes and listen back.

[00:57:41] I say a lot of shit.

[00:57:43] And I don't know what.

[00:57:45] It's all solid gold, my friend.

[00:57:47] Solid gold.

[00:57:49] All right.

[00:57:49] All right.

[00:57:49] So no other closers for Hanukkah 2019.

[00:57:54] No, it was awful.

[00:57:55] Let's move on.

[00:57:55] The dreidel fun.

[00:57:57] Wait, did everyone rage it?

[00:57:58] Yes.

[00:57:59] Oh, yes.

[00:57:59] I'm assuming.

[00:58:00] It's unquestionably.

[00:58:01] So another question for you.

[00:58:04] Rage!

[00:58:07] Rage!

[00:58:10] Rage!

[00:58:12] Rage!

[00:58:30] Rage!

[00:58:31] Nice.

[00:58:31] God, we're six hours in on this podcast.

[00:58:35] Get ready for hour seven.

[00:58:39] All right.

[00:58:39] So our happiest section of our episode is our Christmas rage for the year.

[00:58:49] Now.

[00:58:50] Okay.

[00:58:50] Well, I'll turn it off then.

[00:58:52] That's right.

[00:58:52] Because I'm the least ragey of all of you.

[00:58:55] I don't know.

[00:58:55] You've got a lifetime rage.

[00:58:56] I actually enjoy Christmas despite the fact that I can't afford it anymore.

[00:59:01] I actually watched another LGBTQ Christmas movie over the weekend.

[00:59:09] It was on our government run television station.

[00:59:13] CBC.

[00:59:15] I'm not sure.

[00:59:15] I think it was like four years ago.

[00:59:18] It starred Kristen Stewart, Aubrey Plaza, Alison Brie, and Dan Levy, who is, of course, the son of Eugene Levy and also the star of Schitt's Creek.

[00:59:31] Who was easily the best thing about the movie.

[00:59:34] Yeah.

[00:59:34] It's called Happiest Season.

[00:59:36] Yeah.

[00:59:37] And it's a lesbian Christmas movie.

[00:59:40] This lesbian couple.

[00:59:41] And they go back home to her parents for Christmas.

[00:59:46] And Victor Garber plays the dad who is like some politician dude who, you know, can't afford a scandal.

[00:59:53] And she hasn't told her parents that she's gay.

[00:59:56] So she basically brings her lesbian girlfriend home for Christmas and doesn't tell anybody that she's gay.

[01:00:01] So they have to hide it the whole time.

[01:00:04] But Kristen Stewart was awesome.

[01:00:06] She just, she got her heart broken like over and over again by this bitch of a girlfriend who refused to actually admit that she was gay.

[01:00:14] Aubrey Plaza was good in it.

[01:00:16] Alison Brie played this like kind of overbearing sister, older sister who's better than her at everything.

[01:00:22] So is this your Christmas rage?

[01:00:23] This is your Christmas rage?

[01:00:25] No, this is my, it doesn't say rage.

[01:00:27] It says happy or rage filled.

[01:00:29] It's true.

[01:00:29] I did say that.

[01:00:31] This movie was better than any of those three pieces of shit that I had to watch for this episode.

[01:00:36] So he's got a rage.

[01:00:37] That's what I'm saying is I think it was a better movie than any of them.

[01:00:40] And I enjoyed it.

[01:00:41] He's got a raging boner for this movie.

[01:00:44] And it was a movie I had never seen.

[01:00:45] And it was shot right before COVID.

[01:00:47] And yeah, I thought it was decent.

[01:00:48] And yeah, it was one of the very few LGBTQ Christmas themed films.

[01:00:55] Why didn't we?

[01:00:55] And I thought it was good.

[01:00:56] Well, because there was no murder in it.

[01:00:57] Was there any murder?

[01:00:58] No, there was no murder in it.

[01:00:59] Oh, wow.

[01:01:00] Unfortunately, there's no murder in that movie.

[01:01:03] It almost came to it with the creepy twins.

[01:01:04] And Allison Brie has a couple of creepy twins that are just like the girls from, what do you call it?

[01:01:10] The Shining?

[01:01:11] Same thing.

[01:01:12] Nice.

[01:01:12] They were very creepy.

[01:01:13] But yeah, it was good.

[01:01:14] Anyway, that's my Christmassy Krampus thing.

[01:01:16] Nice.

[01:01:17] Do your thing for Christmas.

[01:01:19] All right.

[01:01:19] So my Christmas rage is real simple.

[01:01:21] It's content for the sake of content.

[01:01:24] Just going through the Tubi catalog is ridiculous.

[01:01:27] I don't understand why any of this is readily available for human consumption.

[01:01:33] It is not worth anything.

[01:01:38] I don't like how could anybody sit there and watch these movies?

[01:01:41] I don't get it.

[01:01:45] Tubi's got is a weird, weird animal where it's got stuff that's pretty good all the way to stuff that's absolutely unwatchable.

[01:01:52] So content for the sake of content is my rage because I'm sorry, Bigfoot, but BC 14, dude, no, just no.

[01:02:02] Just stop existing.

[01:02:03] And every one of his movies you can watch on Tubi.

[01:02:05] So no.

[01:02:06] If you want to watch like Donald Trump versus a werewolf or something, it's all on Tubi.

[01:02:13] But why do you want to watch that?

[01:02:15] No.

[01:02:16] No more content.

[01:02:17] There's some things that should have just been kept at the idea stage.

[01:02:22] Or not at all.

[01:02:23] Or not at all.

[01:02:25] Okay.

[01:02:25] So my Christmas rage this year is to do with the deals they've come out at Christmas.

[01:02:34] So there was this advertisement at one of our local cinemas that we go to all the time.

[01:02:40] I'm not going to name it because it's my favorite.

[01:02:42] And they said, oh, for this whatever Christmas coming weekend only, if you buy a gift card, then you will get a free movie and this and this.

[01:02:58] And then I'm like, yes, I want this right now because I want that popcorn and I want that thing.

[01:03:04] And I only want to spend the money on the gift card.

[01:03:08] Free stuff.

[01:03:09] Yes, I love the free stuff.

[01:03:13] But, and here's the rub.

[01:03:16] I can't use this fucking shit until January.

[01:03:19] So how is this a Christmas present to me?

[01:03:22] I'm buying gifts for people and then I get nothing for Christmas.

[01:03:26] January is like six days after Christmas.

[01:03:29] It's too far.

[01:03:30] I wanted my popcorn right when I bought it.

[01:03:33] Don't tell me I'm buying, I get something free.

[01:03:36] You're not destitute, dude.

[01:03:37] You can buy your popcorn and get your free popcorn in the new year.

[01:03:40] Think about how happy you're going to be in the new year when you get that free popcorn.

[01:03:45] I don't want to be happy in the new year.

[01:03:47] I want to be sad.

[01:03:47] You say that now, but then when you're in the new year, you're going to be awfully glad you have that free popcorn.

[01:03:52] I want my shit when it's Christmas.

[01:03:56] That's the problem with society today.

[01:03:58] Everybody wants it now.

[01:03:59] I want to be like everybody else.

[01:04:01] That's me.

[01:04:02] I want to be like everybody else.

[01:04:04] I want my Christmas pudding.

[01:04:06] Good things come to those who wait.

[01:04:09] I was about to say, Veruca Salt.

[01:04:12] I want it.

[01:04:13] I want it now.

[01:04:14] She made a great album.

[01:04:17] That's what Veruca Salt did.

[01:04:19] In fact, she made two great albums.

[01:04:21] Actually, and then she did a song with David Bowie.

[01:04:23] So what else can we do?

[01:04:26] It's basically my argument to everything.

[01:04:29] Different Veruca Salt.

[01:04:30] Oh, dear.

[01:04:33] Shout out to Veruca.

[01:04:34] That's either.

[01:04:36] All right, John.

[01:04:37] You get to cap us off with your Christmas rage.

[01:04:40] Now, are you going to be like Marie and give out candy for your rage?

[01:04:44] Or are you going to be like apparently Bryce and his hate of Tubi movies?

[01:04:50] So mine has nothing to do with movies at all.

[01:04:53] Is that okay?

[01:04:54] Is that good?

[01:04:55] It's your rage, brother.

[01:04:58] So I don't know if your listeners know this, but I live in New York City.

[01:05:03] New York City?

[01:05:04] And my rage is people.

[01:05:09] Tourists.

[01:05:11] This time of year is awful.

[01:05:13] Yeah, I believe it.

[01:05:14] Oh, my God.

[01:05:15] I haven't heard the horror stories of the New Year's Eve thing.

[01:05:18] People standing like her.

[01:05:20] You never do it.

[01:05:22] Don't do it because you can't leave.

[01:05:24] You can't leave.

[01:05:24] You can't go to the bathroom.

[01:05:25] You can't do anything.

[01:05:26] Yeah, you're just stuck there the whole time.

[01:05:28] You're stuck in there for like 12 hours.

[01:05:30] You can't leave.

[01:05:32] But no, tourists, people who don't know how to walk on sidewalks,

[01:05:37] people who like to stop randomly,

[01:05:39] and you're just like stop randomly in front of shop doors.

[01:05:43] And we're like, what the fuck are you doing?

[01:05:45] Keep going.

[01:05:46] Dude.

[01:05:47] So, but yeah, my rage is for people.

[01:05:51] Thank you.

[01:05:52] Like as a New Yorker, I guess in general.

[01:05:57] You want to go again on that one?

[01:05:58] Yeah, it sounds like Boston to me.

[01:06:00] New Yorker?

[01:06:01] New Yorker.

[01:06:03] What is the accent?

[01:06:04] You're giving a little British here.

[01:06:06] Give us the accent, John.

[01:06:08] Give us the real.

[01:06:08] New Yorker.

[01:06:09] There you go.

[01:06:10] I'm from New York.

[01:06:11] There you go.

[01:06:12] East New York.

[01:06:14] Just stop.

[01:06:15] So, I imagine that for every big city.

[01:06:18] Like the ones that people travel to, like the travel ones.

[01:06:21] It's like no wonder all the people when you go to Paris are all awful,

[01:06:25] horrible people to everybody.

[01:06:27] They deal with tourists every day.

[01:06:28] New York does not have a good, I guess, people don't think,

[01:06:33] oh, the people in New York are super awesome, nice people.

[01:06:36] It's probably because they do hate everybody.

[01:06:38] Because people go there and get in their way.

[01:06:40] And like the things that make us angry about our traffic and stupid people.

[01:06:44] Imagine that times 10,000.

[01:06:47] We will help.

[01:06:48] We will help.

[01:06:49] I will say that.

[01:06:50] I have helped people in the past.

[01:06:52] But it's like you got to be nice for me to be nice.

[01:06:58] You know, you can't.

[01:07:00] No yelling.

[01:07:01] No being an asshole.

[01:07:03] No nothing.

[01:07:04] Just be nice.

[01:07:04] And then we'll be nice to you.

[01:07:07] That's the rule.

[01:07:08] I think you should carry around a dreidel.

[01:07:10] And that when people piss you off, just start spinning it.

[01:07:13] And they'll go like something bad.

[01:07:15] Something bad is going to happen.

[01:07:16] And pick which one to kill.

[01:07:17] That's right.

[01:07:20] Awesome.

[01:07:21] Oh, my goodness.

[01:07:22] Well, John, thank you for joining us on our fifth annual Krampus special.

[01:07:31] Now, tell our listeners everything they need to know about you and your podcast.

[01:07:36] But you were afraid to ask.

[01:07:39] Oh, okay.

[01:07:40] So I have a podcast that was set in the beginning.

[01:07:44] It's called Life's But A Song.

[01:07:45] You can find it anywhere you're listening to this.

[01:07:47] And all the socials are at But A Song Pod, where we talk about musical movies, musical TV shows, film stage productions.

[01:07:57] Sometimes they're not even a musical and we still talk about it.

[01:08:00] So, yeah.

[01:08:03] There's a lot of those episodes.

[01:08:04] But the best thing is, like, you can pick and choose.

[01:08:07] You know, Jim has been on a couple of times.

[01:08:09] I'm trying to get Bryce and Mary on, but apparently they don't like musicals.

[01:08:13] So I guess I'll just be a guest on your podcast.

[01:08:18] You know what?

[01:08:19] I don't get the messages from Jim.

[01:08:21] So he just keeps you to himself for some reason.

[01:08:25] Because Bryce doesn't have socials.

[01:08:26] He's anti-social.

[01:08:27] I don't even know what a social is.

[01:08:29] He doesn't even have a walking around phone.

[01:08:31] I don't have a walking around phone.

[01:08:33] Here's the thing.

[01:08:34] Bryce has zero time in his life.

[01:08:36] That's also true.

[01:08:39] I have time at certain times of the year.

[01:08:42] He has a very needy dog.

[01:08:43] And I have a very needy dog.

[01:08:45] And a football schedule.

[01:08:46] Football and racing.

[01:08:48] You name it.

[01:08:49] Exactly.

[01:08:50] Now, wait, wait, wait.

[01:08:51] When you say football, do you mean American football?

[01:08:53] Yes.

[01:08:53] Or what we call soccer?

[01:08:54] He doesn't even know that the Canadian football exists.

[01:08:58] No, no.

[01:08:58] It's all about the American football.

[01:08:59] He doesn't know what soccer is either.

[01:09:01] That too.

[01:09:02] I know what they are.

[01:09:03] I don't know what you guys call it over there in Canada.

[01:09:05] No, we call it football.

[01:09:08] Okay.

[01:09:08] Football, you bet.

[01:09:10] Mmm.

[01:09:11] Our balls are bigger.

[01:09:14] Ain't it so?

[01:09:15] That's the slogan they used to use.

[01:09:17] Except the actual ball is like bigger than the American football one.

[01:09:20] We started on the Canadian Football League with the beach ball.

[01:09:23] They play in end zones that are as big as an NFL field.

[01:09:26] That's right.

[01:09:26] It's just ridiculous.

[01:09:27] Wider end zones.

[01:09:28] Wider field.

[01:09:30] Less talent.

[01:09:31] You know what?

[01:09:31] I think we're just boring everyone.

[01:09:33] Our podcast keeps going towards being a football podcast.

[01:09:36] I know.

[01:09:37] It doesn't.

[01:09:37] Every time.

[01:09:38] And yet, ironically, Jim is the only one of us who actually did play football.

[01:09:41] He hates it.

[01:09:44] All right.

[01:09:46] John, anything else you want to let our listeners know?

[01:09:51] Keep raging on.

[01:09:53] Yes.

[01:09:53] Always.

[01:09:54] That's the message.

[01:09:56] All right.

[01:09:56] Well, thanks so much, John, for being part of our extra special Krampus episode.

[01:10:04] Thanks, Ragers, for listening.

[01:10:05] Thanks also to the Extended Film Rage family you can find in our show notes, including Casey,

[01:10:10] the nerdy photographer, and our god of rage.

[01:10:13] Rage.

[01:10:13] A reminder, we will be back in the new year for our first episode of the year.

[01:10:18] We will be doing our Mondo 10 and Rage 5 for 2024, plus all the films we saw over the

[01:10:26] holiday season.

[01:10:27] Find us on social media everywhere at Film Rage YYC.

[01:10:29] Check out everything at Film Rage at FilmRageYYC.com, including our merch site for Redbubble

[01:10:33] and Tee Public.

[01:10:34] If it's not too late, buy your granny some granny panties with a Film Rage logo.

[01:10:39] Whereas I want to make this a raging blast for all listeners, so please comment, like,

[01:10:42] subscribe, and send us emails to FilmRageCowler at gmail.com.

[01:10:45] Dare to see terrible movies to fuel our rage.

[01:10:47] But no matter what you do, please, please, please, pretty, please, please, please, please

[01:10:52] make us rage.

[01:10:53] That's it for this season.

[01:10:57] Rage on!

[01:11:00] Rage on!