Episode 347 - Prada wearing devils make us rage!

[00:00:04] It's time to feel the rage. Welcome to Film Rage where we talk movies in theaters, streaming and classic films as well. Directors and actors beware as you cannot hide from the rage. My name is Bryson. I'm part of the Film Rage crew which also includes Jim and Jim. Hey Bryson. And also we have the Merman sporting a habitants shirt. What's going on? Are they even, what is, are they even playing? Second round baby. Yeah. Second round of what?

[00:00:34] The NHL playoffs. That's right. The only Canadian team left. Unless you count the Buffalo Sabres. Ah, that's the Major League Ice Hockey. That is the Ice Hockey, yes. The only real sport. The MLIH. Major League Ice Hockey. Sure. The only. Is that what it's called? Is it the MLIH? Major League Ice Hockey? That's right, Bryce. Clearly he doesn't bet on hockey. Apparently he doesn't know what a real sport is. Yes. Sorry. No, seriously. What is MLIH, right? It's the N.

[00:01:04] H-L. National Hockey League. And they, ah, but they. Which is about 125 years old. I got this one. They play for the Stanley Trophy though. That's it. That's right. It's the Stanley Trophy. The Stanley Trophy. That's right. It's just the Stanley. It's just the Stanley? Yep. It's just like, it's just like those, those mugs. People call it the Stan. The Stan. Really? Yeah. So they're playing for the Stan. They're playing for the Stan. Nice.

[00:01:27] Nice. All right. So with the introductions out of the way, and I just learned a lot. Let's rage on. Wait, is Suzuki still playing for Montreal? Yes. I love Suzuki. He's a fantastic player. All right. Well, thanks. Does he have anything to do with like the automobiles? Probably somewhere at the top of the Suzuki chain. He's like, you know, a long relative of Dave Suzuki. Yeah. They're that too.

[00:01:52] Oh, did Dave Suzuki have anything to do with the automobiles? I'm sure. Maybe. He's like a hundred years old. There was, there was Adam and Eve. Sorry. There was Satan. And then there was Adam and Eve. And there was Suzuki. Satan versions of those. And then, uh, then there's the Suzuki's and then people came down from that. And now Suzuki plays in Montreal. Montreal Canadiens. Oh, okay. In the, what did you call it? The something, something, the NHL. Major League Ice Hawks. There you go.

[00:02:22] The MLIH. Awesome. All right. Well, thanks to all that have been supporting us. If you're still listening by the time we got to this point. Yeah. Then you're a better man than I am. Lucky for you. Uh, if you even care to like our independent podcast, please like, subscribe, share, and give us five-star rating or any rating on your listening platform, or you can dare to see a terrible movie. And if it played anywhere in a cinema in the world, we'll watch it now. Let's get to raging. Talks along the sirens went on. The sirens are saying, get to it, bitches.

[00:02:52] What would the amazing mama predict? What would the amazing mama predict? Will he predict the rage or will he predict the mondo? Will he tell us all what Jim and Bryce are at the movies?

[00:03:08] Better watch out, kids, cause here he comes. He's coming swimming to you. And you and you. Swimmery, swimmery. Swimmery, swim. Swim with your bad leg, Murray. Swimmery, swim. Swim all the way to the doctor to get fixed right now.

[00:03:31] Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swim And Aaron Eckhart. And Aaron Eckhart. Yeah.

[00:04:01] And Aaron Eckhart. Harvey Dent. There you go. Yep. I don't know. Look bad. Double rage. All right. Wow. This is going to be a good podcast. Animal Farm. Animal Farm. Which I learned is an Angel Films production. Isn't that interesting? Just so you know. I found out when I went to the theater. Yes. You'll know more about that later. Did two of you go to the theater or just the one? I didn't go to Animal Farm. There you go. I did. So I'm the lone. So we will go with a single rage for that one. Okay.

[00:04:30] So rage on. I may or may not have known that it was Angel Films and was kind of laughing to myself when I got an email from Jim saying that he's going to it. I just heard it was bad. Okay. Well, you know what? I'm going to talk. I'm going to change the direction of what we're talking about first. I'm going to talk about Animal Farm first. Andy Serkis. Yeah. We're talking about the circus. All right.

[00:05:00] Go for it. So when you look at the cast of this film, you might do what I did and think, wow, this is finally going to be it, a raw, unfiltered version of Animal Farm. Faithful to the book, true to its tone and actually delivering the political satire and meaning George L. Orwell had intended.

[00:05:30] Then the credits start to roll as I'm sitting in the cinema. This film opens and it's approved by the Angel Guild. Of course it is. And just like that, I realized what I was in for. An Angel Films production with Seth Rogen and motherfucking Glenn Close. This is the same guy who did Sausage Party, which is an animated film, and he's doing Animal Farm. Okay. Produced by Angel Films.

[00:06:00] Produced by Angel Films. Now, first people need to realize that George Orwell is one of my favorite writers of all times. I think nobody understood political satire like George Orwell did, and his writings are books that I have read multiple times. So this is what we're in for. Okay. So then here we get this movie. This is not the Animal Farm I expected, first of all.

[00:06:30] They've added characters to, and I'm putting this in heavy quotes, family friend, friendly eyes it. You think Disney does this? You haven't seen anything yet. And the animation, if you want soulless Angel Films, has nothing more than what Disney has to offer typically.

[00:06:54] Now, if you've never read the book, maybe this plays like a nice, safe, happy little animated film for the whole family. Totally fine. No issues. But I have read it. And I've seen the other animated versions too. And originally, I remember thinking, you know, I seem to remember thinking that the first, the 19, I think it was the 1954 animated version was really good. So you know what I did?

[00:07:22] After I went and saw the Animal Farm from Angel Films, I went back and rewatched the 1954 version just to see, was that one any better? Because I remember thinking it was pretty good. Here's a clue. It was not very good. The first one. And I guess there was another one that was done. I couldn't even find that. So apparently people just really didn't want Orwell's work to be redone.

[00:07:51] So that's why I was really hoping this would finally be the one that captures the full message. FYI, it's not. It's not dark enough. It's not bleak enough. It's not brutal or political the way it should be. It's safe. It's softened. It's approved, you know, by the angel guild. Of course.

[00:08:16] So I tried really, really hard to separate what I wanted from what I got, which for me can be really difficult sometimes. I watched it as if I didn't know the source material, which is tough, but it's doable. And honestly, if you look at it that way, there are some lessons in here. You can see the themes, even if they're watered down, similar to what Angel Films did with the movie Sketch.

[00:08:45] A bit of it is dark. I mean, you can't take out the full darkness that is the animal farm. It just is. But it's very controlled because it's Angel Films. For kids or for people who'd never read Orwell, this might actually work. The cast is very strong and the message, even diluted, still comes through enough to get people thinking. But for me, I'm still waiting for a version that actually commits.

[00:09:15] One that fully captures what Animal Farm is supposed to be. Maybe we're just past that now. Maybe the world we live in doesn't need political satire like George Orwell had. I mean, if you read the book, there's nothing happened globally right now where animals being on a farm, taking over, turning into humans would fit. Right, Bryce?

[00:09:45] Not at all. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't make sense, right? Like, there's no reason why you wouldn't be able to take exactly what is happening in Animal Farm, the book. In any era, you can do it. And do it properly. What? And do it properly. What? Especially this era. Yeah. So, I mean, at the end of the day, anything that even tries to tackle this story, I've got

[00:10:11] to give some kudos to it because, you know, for Angel Films to take on this story, I think, I don't know what Angel Films is doing right now because I can tell you two things. Yes, if they make a live action film, it is going to be trying to convert me in one way or another and it's going to be garbage. If they make something that's CGI activated, I'm going to call it, or animated, I have

[00:10:38] a feeling that that group within Angel Films has a little bit more leeway because there's no way that the people at Angel Films said, you know what? The message that is in Animal Farm is really what our message is. But the message from the book itself is not there is hope. In the book, there's no hope. And that's really what it should be. So I think kids will like this movie.

[00:11:08] I think that people will like this movie. I just couldn't support it because it needs to be the bleakness that the book originally was. Other than that, it was a fairly okay Disney-like animated film. So what I'm saying to you is you won't go to this and absolutely hate it. You may give a little bit of rage is what I'm going to do for it. So yeah, it gets a low rate or a high rage, I guess.

[00:11:38] High rage. Because it was almost close to a meh. All right. For the quality. All right. So there's a movie out called The Devil Wears Prada 2. So I don't know what the meaning is here. Is this pro-journalism or anti-fashion? Or is it taking these and bridging wealthy reality TV shows into something completely different?

[00:12:08] Because watching this was like a reality, ultra rich reality TV show. That's what it felt like to me. I don't know. You're shaking your head yes. You felt the same way? Well, yeah. Like, well, and of course, the timing of this, the Met Gala is on this week in New York. Yeah, it's not kind of funny. I just find the whole idea of fashion ridiculous. Yeah.

[00:12:33] I get why people do it, but it's like, why would you pay $3,000 for a purse? That's stupid. And there's people in America who can't afford to pay their rent. Never mind America. What about Canada? Or anywhere. Anywhere. In the world. Yeah. And these assholes are like paying $50,000, $60,000 for outfits. Well, it was $100,000. And looking stupid doing it. It was $100,000 for a ticket to go to the Met Gala. I appreciate a decent suit or a nice dress, but it's like some of the stuff they wear on the runways.

[00:13:03] I'm like, what the hell is that? Yeah. Things on their head like the Eiffel Tower is a hat. I'm like, I don't get it. I'm sure people do. I don't get it. I want to get an Eiffel Tower hat. Do you think they sell them in Paris these days? I'm sure if you go to a tourist stand. I want to. You know what? I'm going to book a flight to Paris when I get back from Newfoundland. I'm sure if you go to Italy, you can get a Leading Tower hat. And I want a Eiffel Tower hat. It's all lies. You're not going to do any of that.

[00:13:32] You know what? Watch me. All right. You watch me. All right. Okay. So, you know what? It doesn't matter really because all of the things that I listed for you are all done really badly. The story picks up exactly where it left off, apparently. You know, 20 years didn't go by or anything like that. Well, they didn't age, but they're all in different places except for Miranda. Are they in different places? They're all in the exact same place. They were at the end of the first one. What's her name?

[00:14:01] Blunt is married to some rich guy. Okay. She's dating a rich guy. She's the only one. And what's her name? Hathaway is working at a different magazine. She's working at the same place she was when she got home. No, no. Yeah. She was back there because they asked her to, but she was working somewhere else. Yes. That's the same company. She's a serious journalist. Yes. That's the same company that hired her when she left. Yeah. Tucci's the same. He hasn't aged one day in 20 years.

[00:14:30] Except his jaw is even tighter in this one. Sure. Well, he's going to barely get the words out. He can barely get it. I guess the only difference is the magazine is no longer. Like, did he literally have his jaw wired shut for this role? Yes. It's possible. First. First. Like, I understand that he's trying to be understated because that's his character. He's trying to be cool. Let's be Stanley Tucci for the rest of this episode. Jesus. I could barely understand what he's saying.

[00:14:59] His mouth barely opened and his jaw didn't open at all when he was talking. I'm going to do my review of Stanley Tucci. You can tell that you can't even see that I'm moving my lips. Like, I didn't understand. Like, was that a thing or is there something wrong with him? I don't know. Maybe he had Botox. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe. You know what? I'm not upon my Tucci-isms. But because the first one, he kind of did the same thing, but not like this. Oh, man. You know what?

[00:15:27] Probably being, having to pucker his anus for 20 straight years tightened his lips. Is that, is that possible? Maybe. Maybe. Anyway, continue. All right. So the story picks up where it left off the first one, where it makes complete sense why she comes back to Runway Magazine. Then what follows is basically a cookie cutter copy of the first film for about halfway through

[00:15:50] it, you know, jokes about how everyone under Meryl Streep is afraid of her and how Anne Hathaway is junior and doesn't know anything. Meryl Streep is not the same person anymore. I don't know what you're talking about. What movie were you watching? She was exactly the same person. No, she wasn't. She was reserved and she had to watch what she said. Yeah, but she didn't. But she didn't, though.

[00:16:19] But she did and she couldn't throw her coat around like she's being watched constantly. So no, she's not. No, but the jokes they're doing are all the same jokes, Bryce. That is what I'm saying. For the new situation, which is completely different than the other. It was a breath of fresh air. Okay, good for you. Can we do your review then? Yeah, so. That was the same movie again. Yeah.

[00:16:47] Exactly the same movie. We also have a romance side piece for both of them, I guess. Like now they're both magically in love. And because that made sense. Who? Then Meryl Streep is now married to somebody else. The channelies. Oh, Meryl. Yeah. And Anne Hathaway. I guess she got the house, eh? Because she's in the same place. I don't know. Well, she has the twins. No, the twins are growing up. They're growing up. They're at university. The other movie was like 20 some odd years ago.

[00:17:17] Yeah, but they had to grow up in those 20 years. When she got divorced, she probably got the house. I don't think we saw the twins. We did at the top of the stairs. They said bring up the book. That was the first one. I'm saying in this new one we didn't see. Oh, yeah. That was one of the only things that was different about the two movies. That's the only reason I went to this. I wanted to see how the twins turned out and I didn't even get that. Wouldn't it have been funny if they were Mary-Kate and Ashley? There you go. If they had the grown up versions of Mary-Kate and Ashley, wouldn't that have been funny?

[00:17:46] That would have been... No. Yeah, it would have been funny. I don't need to see Mary-Kate and Ashley ever again. You know what? Okay. Let's talk about who's watched more Mary-Kate and Ashley. That's right. That would be you. Then we made a rule. Okay, so where was I? I don't know. Oh, yeah. So then... Where was I? Oh, so we go about two-thirds into the film where it's pretty much the exact same movie, which I could care less about anyone or anything because, you know, I'd already seen the first film.

[00:18:15] Then we get a Scooby-Doo mystery thrown in that would not have happened if not for that meddling Anne Hathaway. Yes. A.K.A. Andy. Then we end with everyone is happy. And then it ends again with seven different Lord of the Rings endings. And I was dumbstruck to understand what I actually watched and why this film even existed. But I can say one thing about this.

[00:18:44] And Murray's going to be excited about this. We got one talented performance out of one of the people who was in this film. Did we? That was amazing. That's right. We got her singing and acting. And that's when the only thing good about this movie happens. Lady Gaga is Mondo. But this trash heap of a sequel was a rage. Everything was annoying. The dialogue was terrible. And the editing was garbage.

[00:19:12] The story, the acting, and how Meryl Streep still doesn't know how to hang up her jacket. There's a scene where they had to show her trying to hang up her jacket. Like, you don't think she goes home and hangs up her jacket? She didn't have any assistance at home taking her jacket when she came in from... But that's funny. She just throws it on the floor. You're missing out on the comedy. Was I supposed to laugh at that? You were supposed to laugh. You were supposed to go, ha, ha, ha. Oh, so this was a comedy?

[00:19:41] Yes, it was comedy. Part of it. No, it was comedy. What? I know. It's hard to recognize. I don't understand what you're talking about. I don't know. You don't. This was a rage. This was a rage. All right, Mary, what'd you think? You love Anne Hathaway. You probably love this. Which is the only reason why I went to this. Yes. Well, don't you like Meryl Streep? Because her acting is so fantastic these days. Another Anne Hathaway movie. Second week in a row, actually. Mama mia.

[00:20:10] Here we go again. As we discussed last week, I love me, Sam Hathaway. You sure do. But is it enough? I've never been a fan of doing sequels for the sake of doing sequels. That's right. I don't know if they do it for the money. Money. Money. Money. Whatever. It's good for them. It doesn't make me any money. It doesn't make you happy. It makes you poor, though. Even if it's a beloved film. They got your 12 bucks or whatever it is.

[00:20:37] It's obvious the four actors from the original are good friends. And at least three of them wanted to do it again. Meryl doesn't like doing sequels. I went into this movie completely blind. I had no idea what the original was about. I didn't care. I give zero F's about fashion or fashion magazines.

[00:21:05] I own four pairs of black sweatpants, two pairs of jeans, and cargo pants for my work. And about a thousand t-shirts with logos on them. So yeah, this movie was not made for me. But there's Anne Hathaway. Actually reminded me of another Anne Hathaway film that I loved and you guys didn't. Oh, what was that? That was The Intern. Oh, God. In that one, she played a similar character who cares about everyone around her and just wants to be happy.

[00:21:36] Every time that movie comes on TV, I cry like a baby throughout the whole thing. That was the one with De Niro, right? De Niro. Yes, I loved it. Yeah, I cried for different reasons. Yeah, me too. I loved the movie. I watched it every time it comes on. This movie was so predictable. And again, I have not seen the original. Not until recently. Like, I don't ever remember a film that was this predictable and cheesy.

[00:22:02] As for that ending, it was so sweet and sappy, I almost went into sugar shock. Not going to give away the ending, but everything you think will happen at the end happens. Everybody lives happily ever after. To quote Marley, everything going to be all right, man. And yet, there's Anne. I will admit, a few parts made me chuckle a little bit.

[00:22:32] Having not seen the original, I assume the devil in the Prada was Meryl Streep's character that she definitely lived up to. So much, she didn't even recognize either of her former assistants from the first film. I'm guessing she was faking it. She was faking it. She's being funny. She's being a bitch. She's so funny. She's hilarious. It's a funny movie. Comedy. I didn't see the original, but it seemed like Emily Blunt's character was pretty much a footnote in this one.

[00:23:01] She was kind of a footnote in the last one. Yeah, I know that now. Oh. I realize both movies, they were Anne Hathaway's movies. Yes. Both of them. In fact, Emily Blunt was more part of this one than she was with her. Yeah, she was, yeah. But then she's also a bigger star than she was back then. True. And yet, there's Anne. I have come to realize that she's my female Ryan Reynolds. Oh, wow. She's adorable and lovable in every film.

[00:23:29] It's hard not to root for her, even when she plays evil, which isn't that often. Hmm. So this movie, despite the horrible plot, was making a way up to a man. Wow. Then it happened. Oh, butt. What? Two words and one name. Gaga. Lady fucking Gaga. That almost got into a match for me.

[00:23:55] The only thing I dislike more than seeing her act is hearing her sing. Gaga. Gaga. I actually physically got up and left the theater. You missed the best thing in the movie. Both times she showed up. I was in the back, so it was easy to slip out. But yeah, I couldn't even look at her. I had to leave the room. She's gorgeous. For everything Anne did to make me like this film, Stefani Germata ruined.

[00:24:26] Listen, I should have known Italy and fashion and Gaga seem to go together. Believe me, if I had known she was in it, I would not have bought the ticket. That was a pleasant surprise. Sorry, Anne. It's a rage. So what I can tell you is that... I enjoyed most of the film. Yeah. Even though I didn't see the original. So the... But now you have seen the original. I did see the original. The first one's better. Yeah. It is better. But I loved Anne in both of them. She's obviously the best character in both of them.

[00:24:55] But what I can tell you is my love of... Don't make me choose. My love of Anne Hathaway from last week, where I thought her performance was amazing. She was amazing last week. To what she was in this movie. I felt like she was back to her old where I can't stand her acting because she was horrible. Yep. I don't know if I missed something, but... When she bumps into Meryl Streep for the first time, I was like, Are you in an acting class? Because you look like you forgot your lines. Like, not in a good way forgot your lines.

[00:25:25] Like, she was dumbfounded. Like, I forgot how to act. That's how I felt with her. But that's me. I don't know about you, Bryce. What do you think about this movie? Devil Wears Prada 2 is the same movie as Devil Wears Prada. Except the ending was different. Well, was it? I guess not really. Um, but yeah, the whole thing is just... Everybody's gonna... Look out for Meryl Streep, even though she's horrible. But we're all gonna look out for her.

[00:25:54] And we're gonna save the day for her. But it turns out that we're not really saving the day. We're just kind of making things worse. And Meryl actually is two steps ahead of us the entire way. And she's actually got it all figured out. Even though we're trying to fix things for her. But it doesn't matter. Because Meryl's already figured it out. She's like so far ahead of everybody else in this movie. Everybody else is dumb. She's smart. And that's the movie. And that was the first movie, too.

[00:26:22] And the laughs are not there. And the dramatic performances are awful. She hung her coat up, Bryce. Yeah, the coat hanging was not funny. The characters they introduced this time were unnecessary. It was basically the exact same movie. Like, from a beat standpoint, it hit all the same beats as the same movie. Except for some reason, the ending... Scooby-Doo?

[00:26:49] The ending was even more ridiculous. Because it just went on even longer than the first movie. Where it actually ended probably where it should have ended. This one just kept on going. The ending of the first one was done well. And I think that's the thing with these sequels. Is that they're trying to cram so much in. And they're just like, Oh, this is going to be so much fun. Let's do this. And they're so focused on let's have everybody live happily ever after. It just ends up being a mess.

[00:27:18] I absolutely hated this movie from start to finish. And I love Lady Gaga. But her performance in this. Like, just that performance in the dressing room. That was awful. Like, she's a really good actor. I don't know what the hell that was. I don't know. Like, it's like everybody's acting ability went down about 67 notches in this movie. Tucci's awful in this movie. Meryl Streep. I mean, I know she hasn't been great lately.

[00:27:47] But this is just ridiculous. Like... Do you remember who I compared her to when we walked out of the movie? Uh... Yes. Yes. It's like, it's now a competition between her and Jamie Lee Curtis. Jamie Lee Curtis. Which one's going to make me rage more when we're in a movie? It's like every time they're in a movie, it's like... Oh my... And the roles that they're... And I hate to go too hard on them. Because, you know, you're a woman of a certain age. And unfortunately, in Hollywood, you're going to take the roles that you can get.

[00:28:17] Well, as we learned from Eric Roberts... There are some cherry roles for older ladies. And they can get them. But the thing is, there's not a lot of them. And that's the problem you get when you're an older... When you're an older actor too. But more so when you're an older actress. It's a little harder. And it shouldn't be. I mean, there are some cherry roles. But there's not a ton of them. And this is the stuff you end up doing. And it's a shame. Because this was awful.

[00:28:46] Who do we think this movie was made for? Like, who do you think... Back to the original? No, this one. Like, this one. Who do you think wanted this movie? The people that loved the first movie, I guess. But, like, do you think... Because they've... Now, it's... There was demand for it. Well, yeah. And the thing is... I guess if you're super duper into fashion... Yeah. This movie's going to make you smile a lot. Because I didn't... I don't know all the cameos that were in there. Yeah, there was a ton of cameos.

[00:29:15] But there's so many fashion... Yeah. Yeah, she was... Don't tell... In, like, some cafe in Italy. Yeah, and then... Is that Versace? Oh, no, she was... No, no. Don't tell us. Whatever. Well, she was Gucci, wasn't she? Isn't she the Gucci lady? Don't tell us. Right. See, that's the thing. Yeah. People that are in the know are going to go, Oh, she's a... And when they showed, like, the red carpets and everything, everybody would be going, If you're into this type of thing... It's Karl Lagerfeld. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah. Yeah. To me, it's like, I have no idea who you're even showing me. Nope, me either.

[00:29:45] So it's doing nothing for me. Nope. So that's who this movie's for. Yeah. Is for Pete. But the thing isn't, though, because it's kind of poking fun at that fashion. Well, yeah. It isn't. It isn't. That's what the thing that's confusing to me is that, are they actually making fun of it? Or because there's also these little things where they'll go in and they'll say... They're celebrating it, too. Yeah, they are celebrating it. So I don't know. Like, it's got a mixed message. And yeah, here's... But at the end of the day, it's just a bad movie and it's a rage.

[00:30:13] Like, it's just a bad movie. It's really... It's a bad movie. It's a really bad movie. Yeah, it made like $120 million over the weekend. Somebody went to it. $120? Something like that. Somebody went to it. Oh, my God. Yeah, we did. No, we didn't. We didn't spend $120 million on it. All three of us did. When you add up those three tickets, that's a good percentage. I only went because it was playing at my local theater. I ended up to go over here. And you didn't have to go up and down stairs.

[00:30:41] If they'd been playing Deep Water, I probably would have seen that instead. Well... They were not. Well, Murray... Oh, I can't wait. Let me tell you about Deep Water. Okay. So much water. So much? Was it deep? The water wasn't that deep. Well... Because there was a coral reef. There was a coral reef, yes. Because there was a coral reef, Murray. It was still deep. If there was some deep parts in the ocean, for sure. Yeah. Right? Like, the ocean's deep.

[00:31:09] Well, it's deep, but there just happened to be a coral reef where they were. Is it deep water? Were there sharks? Were there sharks? Oh, there were so many sharks. Murray. Murray, if you like sharks, this is your movie. This is your movie. There are so many sharks, and they are hungry. They're CGI sharks. I've never seen hungrier sharks in my life. And they hunt in packs. Okay. So let's get to it. So here's what I want to say.

[00:31:36] We haven't had a good disaster movie in cinemas for a very long time. I'm talking Towering Inferno, which, by the way, was on sale on my iTunes for $5. And I bought Towering Inferno, plus I already own the Poseidon Adventure, and of course, the classic Airplane. We just don't have them anymore. Now, I'm not saying that this was a good movie. I'm just saying that we don't have them very much anymore.

[00:32:05] And I'm wondering why we haven't had them in a while. Because, you know, when they made the originals, like Poseidon Adventure and Towering Inferno and Earthquake and all these different ones, it was practical effects. So, I mean, soundstage practical effects, but they were still practical effects with explosions and stuff like that. Here now, everything is just CGI. So I would imagine disaster movies should be a lot more popular, shouldn't they be? Like, what am I missing? Sure.

[00:32:35] Right? Mary, you've got to be a disaster film fan. Not really. You're not a fan of Towering Inferno? Poseidon Adventure? I never saw it. Everybody loves Poseidon Adventure, right, Bryce? I saw about four different versions. I didn't like the Poseidon Adventure. What? I saw about four different versions of Titanic. There you go. Or it used to be called Night to Remember. There you go. So there's enough of them that have been made, but apparently we don't get them anymore.

[00:33:05] So just like all these classic disaster films, we get the character that everyone is rooting for to be killed in the most heinous way possible. We get the annoying and completely awful CLFs who are, like, extremely annoying, dashing, not-so-young hero. And of course, no disaster film would be complete without an Aussie version of Shelley Winters,

[00:33:32] a.k.a. Becky, played by Kate Fitzpatrick, who, actually, is the only character worth her salt in this. I'm going to say that. And they were in the ocean. So when I'm talking salt, I mean she was the best thing in this movie, hands down. Am I right, Bryce? Can I get an amen? He doesn't know that word. Can I get a holla back, girl?

[00:34:01] Are you not agreeing with me or not? How about a yup? Kate Fitzpatrick as Becky, Shelley Winters, Aussie style, was the best thing in this movie. I don't know. The answer's yes. Was there a best thing in this movie? That is the best thing. I mean, this has motherfucking Ben Kingsley, for God's sakes. You know. Excuse me. You know, Gandhi. Sir Ben. Oh, sorry. Sir Ben Kingsley.

[00:34:30] He's a goddamn knight. He's a, he's, yeah, he could fight, um, Judi Dench now, right? Because that's what happens. Yes, that's right. The knights can fight the dames. We learned that the other week. Is that what they do? I think so. They fight each other? Yeah, I think so. Um, I'd put my money on Judi Dench, by the way. Julie Joust on the, uh, Buckingham Palace back mark. Possibly. But, you know what? Um, Ben's choices of late have not been good. I'm just gonna say that. Hmm.

[00:34:58] This, especially in a movie that, you know, was, I think, trying to be an asylum-type film. And that's what these, these production companies, I think, wanted to be. I think they wanted to put out an asylum film. And who better than Rennie Harlan to make this? Okay. So, just so everybody has a clue. Is it a Rennie Harlan movie? Yes. It's a Rennie Harlan movie. It's a Rennie Harlan movie. Okay.

[00:35:25] So, here's a list of producers that we were told about, Murray, who helped make this movie. Simon's Hamilton Productions. Archlight Films. Magenta Light Studios. Bandit Media Capital. Buffalo 8 Productions. Highland Film Group. Lip Sync Productions. Now, with Film Rage's extensive experience, we can tell you, usually, the more producers there are,

[00:35:51] the greater the chance that the movie's gonna be not so good. Now, when we saw the number of production companies listed, both Bryce and I laughed for a good solid five minutes. The funniest part is, like, all the pictures come up and you see their logos and everything. But then they get to the start of the movie. And they list them again! No, and then they list about 15 more. Yeah. And it was like, what is going on?

[00:36:21] So, every... Hey, Sir Ben does not work for cheap. Someone's gotta pay his salary. Someone's gotta pay. You better have a bunch of people putting in money if you can have Sir Ben in it. I'm guessing he gets scale now. Although, he worked part-time on this one. He wasn't in it very long. He dialed it in, let's put it that way. So, I'm asking you, everyone... He sang a song. He got his leg trapped. The end. The end.

[00:36:46] So, I'm asking you, is Aaron Eckert the new Ian Ziering? No. Not Ian Ziering, but yeah. You're talking about Sharknado Boy. Yeah, Sharknado Boy. Yeah, he goes by Ian for some reason. He does go by Ian. Always has. Is it another language? No, he's just pretentious. He's just a douche. Oh. Oh, okay. Steve Sanders. So, is... Sorry, is Aaron Eckert going by Aaron... Aaron... A-A-Ron. A-A-Ron. No, it's A-A-Ron. A-A-Ron. A-A-Ron.

[00:37:16] Is A-A-Ron... The new... What'd you call him? Ion? Ion. Ion. Yeah. Ion. A-A-Ron Eckert. Thank you for snoring. It was excellent. Sorry, A-A-Ron Eckert. I thought he was going to be like something special at one point and then he wasn't.

[00:37:45] Something happened to A-A-Ron Eckert. I don't know what happened because I really, really liked him as an actor. That's what I want to say up until I saw this movie. Here's the thing with Sharknado though. You know what you're getting when you start watching a Sharknado. Yeah, it's the asylum. Yeah. Here we are subjected to a film that has the worst disaster dialogue ever written. That's pretty good. And I've seen Towering Inferno recently.

[00:38:15] And Poseidon Adventure. Everything but the, yeah. I haven't watched the Poseidon Adventure in a while. I think I might do that this weekend. Everything but the kitchen sink thrown into it. And the absolute, and when I say absolute, and I've seen some of the asylum movies, I've seen all of the Sharknados, the absolute worst CGI sharks that literally attack someone every time someone gets in the water. If you put your toe in the water, the shark will eat it.

[00:38:44] Because there's an entire plane that's crashed, Marie. There's so many bodies that these sharks could be eating. Don't lean your head over the edge of the raft. That's a bad move. That's a bad idea. We even had a three-way fight of sharks so that one of our stars could survive. Yes. Remember that, Bryce? Yes. I think I laughed for about five minutes after that. Look, I'm not saying that I didn't lie and laugh in this movie.

[00:39:12] But, you know, a lot of how, because there's a lot of bad in this that makes you laugh. Like, not the kind of movie that's so bad it's funny, but it's so bad it kind of sticks out about how bad it is. The fact that Rennie Harlan tried to outdo both Sharknado and the movie Plane. Remember the movie Plane? Yeah. Remember that movie? Oh, yeah. In one movie. Is that George Butler, too? Yeah, I think it was.

[00:39:43] Yeah, if it's... Yeah, it was a plane. They crashed in the jungle or whatever, and they had a bunch of, like, Filipino or Thailand soldiers and stuff. Yep. Yeah, I remember that. Yep. It was horrible. But take that and put it with Sharknado, and that's what you get from this movie. My God, this was horrible. Like, it was painfully, painfully, painfully horrible. And I like disaster movies. Yes, you like the Sharknado. I like things that eat people. But I don't like CGI eating...

[00:40:11] Like, the sharks were so badly done. Like, I feel that it was like maybe a 13-year-old hopped up on Mountain Dew. Sorry, Mountain Dew Red. That programmed... Code Red. Code Red. That programmed these... From Zombieland. These freaking sharks. But alas, seven companies got together, plus countless additional producers and executive producers... Give them money to make this.

[00:40:39] ...to let him make this movie that wasn't even good enough for Asylum. Um... And come on, Aaron Eckert. Sorry, A. Aaron Eckert. A. Aaron. I thought... A. Aaron Eckert. I thought you were better than this, I guess. I guess... This movie is so unwatchably horrible. I suspect the Asylum will be calling him for their next million-dollar movie that they're going to do in a week. They only pay $100,000, I think, Murray, for a movie. No, I don't think it's quite a million.

[00:41:08] I thought it was a million-dollar budget. I don't think they'd spend that much. Anyway, I know they shoot in a week. I know that... I'm pretty sure it's $100,000. I have to put up the documentary of who he's on. Yeah, exactly. Mock the stuff. Yes, he's their next big... Once Eric Roberts finally gets too old and dies, Aaron is up next. Aaron is up next. He'll be in everything. Exactly. Okay, Bryce. Tell us your love of shark movies and disaster films. Yeah, I hate disaster films to begin with. I especially hate disaster films that are just dumb.

[00:41:37] Um, just this... Just the silliness of the guy not even paying attention to his job at all at the airport when the bag goes through with something that he's obviously going to inspect. But they show it, like, on the screen. Like, it's, like, so obvious it's ridiculous. But nobody looks and nobody notices. It's like, come on. Like, you... It's not... That's not... It's just... It's dumb from the get-go. Well, and the sparking of the battery...

[00:42:05] And then the sparking of the battery and the way that the flames come out and the way... It was all just so stupid. Like, and everything's so convenient. Like, every single thing that, like, shoots off hits something else perfectly. And then the... Which makes another chain reaction that explodes over here. And it's... And it's... When it's done in, like, a final destination, it's clever. Yes. When it's done in this, it's just stupid. It's stupid. And because in the final destination, you know...

[00:42:34] You know what... You know that it's... That that's what they're going for. In this one, they're actually kind of trying to make you think, like, this could really happen. This could really, really happen. And it's just, like, everything was, like, so spot on. Like, it hits the bullseye every time. Every time anything explodes and something shoots off, it just hits perfectly so that the next thing can happen. And it's... It was just, like, the whole plane going down was annoying. And don't you think that, like, there was, like...

[00:43:02] There was a ton of scenes that were missing from here? Because we kind of didn't even really see what happened to... Who cares? The CLF's parents. It was like... Yeah, we did. They died. You saw the dad, but you didn't see the mom. Because they were both lying on the plane wing or something for a while. And then the girl swam to him and the dad got eaten. And then we think she's dead. But apparently she switched places with the... No, I thought they were... No, they didn't. They were together. So they were both dead. They both fell in the water.

[00:43:32] And landed on the plane? No, no. They landed on the... They were sitting on top of the plane. Why are you trying to... That's what I'm saying. There's parts in this. It's just, like, things magically... I'm pretty sure... Things magically just happened in this, Murray. I'm pretty sure they both got... It was like, you know what? By the sharks. Bryce, it's deep water. Whatever. Deep water. So it doesn't matter. You get in the water, you die.

[00:44:02] It's just the way it goes. Or for some reason, you get your leg ripped apart, but the shark lets go, which is not a thing. It totally made sense. Yeah. It's totally made sense. Sometimes sharks bite because they want to see, what is this tasty treat? Yeah, they bite and then they just like... But you know what was really cool? The best thing about it is that if it wasn't for the Chinese fishing boat, which never overfish, they totally would have all died, Murray, because they came and released their catch, Murray.

[00:44:31] Yeah, it was genius. And all the sharks... And the sharks, instead of eating the food that's, like, right there in front of them... They said, oh... Let's go, like, way over here, 100 meters. That they'd already had a taste for. Don't forget that. They've tasted human flesh. They know how tasty it is. They're like, nope, we're going this way. They've tasted man flesh, Murray. Why would they go anywhere else? And, like, not, like, one or two go over... Like, they all go... Like, it was all just... There was... There was... Okay, so here we go. There was 267 people on the plane.

[00:45:01] It's like... There was 30 left. So they'd already eaten 230 plus people. Murray, if you've got a steak in front of you, okay? A huge... A huge, delicious steak in front of you. Ribs. Ribs. Ribs. Okay, if you got... Is that what you like? You like ribs? You got ribs in front of you, or about 100 meters away... Oh, it's got to be more than 100 meters. There's no... There's another... There's another... What do you like? I don't even know. What do you like just as much as ribs? Chicken. Chicken. There you go.

[00:45:29] There's 100 meters away, there's like a bunch of chicken. Okay. That has swimming. Are you going to go and swim over to that chicken, or are you going to eat the ribs that are in front of you? I'm lazy. I'm not going anywhere. Exactly. Everybody, it's just nature. It's not human nature. That's right. It's just nature. You're going to eat what's in front of you. You're going to eat the ribs. How many of you guys are missing the big picture here? What's that? Sharks, for the most part, don't feed on humans. Oh, no. They do. I watched them. No, they don't.

[00:45:57] They hunt in packs, and they eat on humans. No, they really don't. Sometimes they get into fight over humans. See, now they're just giving sharks a bad name. No, that's... I watched this movie, Murray. This one, I, like 50 years ago, is called Jaws. Well, not quoted. This was no Jaws. This was no Jaws. But for those parts, sharks eat other fish. This was such a ridiculous piece of crap, from the plane crash to the sharks to the... Just like everything in this. Ben Kingsley singing karaoke.

[00:46:26] The dialogue, Ben Kingsley singing. Like nothing in this had any redeeming quality whatsoever. Deepwater is a total piece of crap. I guess there were times that you laughed at it. We did laugh a few times at it. A couple times we laughed at it. Like when those three sharks started fighting over the one. Oh, it's just so stupid. It was like... It was like... Oh, God. What is happening right now? So, yeah. This was a total rage. Rage!

[00:46:56] How about that? Triple rage. Yeah. You know what? This was a good week. It was a good week. I'm so glad we saw everything in cinemas that we saw. That's what I'm going to say. I'm glad there was only three of them. Yeah, it was great. I loved it. Oh, remind me... Sorry to steal a little bit of your thunder money. Stealing my thunder. But just remind me that when we bring the lists back, that there's somebody we're going to have to discuss.

[00:47:25] I don't think I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, you are. No, I'm not. Oh, you're 100% looking forward to it. Well, it depends who you're talking about. I'm talking about Rennie Harlan. Oh, yeah. I'm fine with that. Yeah. I thought you meant my girl, Anne. No, we can't because we love Anne in a couple of movies. What are you talking about? The last movie she made before this one was amazing. It was amazing and she was amazing. It would have made... She's got a few more coming out. The only thing that would have made it better if Lady Gaga had a cameo in it. Had a cameo in it. Had a cameo in it. Can I talk now? Yeah, now you're ready.

[00:47:55] All right. This weekend, I watched Chris Hemsworth. What? Favorite movie. What? At least his favorite with Canada's sweetheart, Rachel McAdams. Wait. I know this because I saw him do an interview. Who did you hear Canada's sweetheart, by the way? She is. She always has been. Sorry, but back to... It's his favorite movie. That's what he said. That he's been in or that he's watched? No, that he watches. Oh, okay. Ernie, he watches it like a dozen times a year. Hmm. Wow, that's a lot of times.

[00:48:24] That should have been enough for me. Has Rachel McAdams in it? And he loved it. Yeah. Okay. Talking about Wedding Crashers, 2005. Yeah, but you don't like some of the actors in that movie. Yes, yet I watched it anyway. Okay. I must have missed the joke because I found none of it funny. You missed the joke then. I found every single character in this film deplorable. Yeah, that's the point. Except for Rachel. Of course. Oh, yeah.

[00:48:54] She's supposed to be good. Because who doesn't love McAdams? Uh, right here. Let's start with her. Her character is an idiot. A doormat who allows an abusive boyfriend to make her feel like crap all the time. While he sleeps with every bimbo in the tri-state area. Well, you make it sound not funny. Well, it isn't. It wasn't funny. I'm on Team Murray here, Bryce. Made it really hard to like her. Oh, it was funny. No. Let's get to the big two.

[00:49:22] Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. Chemistry, baby. I don't know what it is about Vaughn, but he gives off a real douchebag quality. In every movie he's in. Yes. I don't know if it's him or it's the parts he plays. I think he just... Like, I've heard he's a really nice guy. Just... He plays a lot of dicks. Yeah. So, yeah. He's funny. No, he's not. No, I didn't find it funny. I find him to be an asshole. I like Vince Vaughn. I didn't like him at all.

[00:49:51] I think Vince Vaughn should never be put into a movie. That's what I say. And then we got Owen Wilson, who almost always plays the lovable goofball. He does. He's cool. Also had questionable morals in this film. So why would I care about either of these two guys? You shouldn't. Because Chris Hemsworth said that... Is that his name? Chris Hemsworth. It's his favorite movie. He quotes it, apparently. He knows every line. This is Liam's brother, right? Yeah, Liam's brother.

[00:50:19] Because he was on the couch with Graham Norton, with Rachel McAdams. Like, I love this movie. I watch it all the time. I think he was trying to get with Rachel McAdams. He was trying to get with Rachel McAdams. And Halle Berry. Oh, okay. Just saying. Wait, Halle Berry's not in Wedding Crashers. No, they were in that one-on-one movie together. They're there for it. That other horrible movie. Anyway, I'll tell you why I would care about either of these two. Bradley Cooper. What? You don't like Bradley Cooper.

[00:50:46] He's either the world's greatest actor, or he really is a dick in real life, and it's just natural for him. Because he's really good at being an asshole. Rocket? The asshole of the Guardians. Silver Linings Playbook? Asshole. American Sniper? Asshole with a Gun. There's literally no movie he's ever made that I haven't hated his character in. There hasn't been one. He's probably...

[00:51:16] He's a really good actor. And he must be a great actor, because I hate him in everything he does. I know. I was supposed to see past the character, respect the actor. Sorry. Can't do it. He's now officially my second most hated actor in Hollywood. Right behind you-know-who. Vince Vaughn, hopefully. Bryce's greatest actor of our generation. No, that's consensus. Yeah. He... That's what I said. Mine. I didn't say you. No, no, no. Murray, that's also my consensus. There you go. Consensus. This is my minute. Remember? Yes.

[00:51:46] My opinion. It is his minute. So yes, he pretty much ruined this movie for me. Bradley Cooper did. I guess I didn't mind Christopher Walken. At least he seemed like a loving father. And he actually let these two losers marry his daughters. Um, the granny was good too. With her potty mouth and fomenting of the gay grandson. Just when I thought I couldn't hate this movie anymore, Will Ferrell showed up.

[00:52:15] Love Will Ferrell. To play a different kind of asshole. He crashes funerals for God's sake. I know. It's hilarious. This... Yeah, this was a huge rage for me. Sorry, Hemsworth. Um... I was hoping they were going to have a... I don't get the big deal about this movie. I don't either, Murray. I don't get why people love it. I don't either, Murray. Because it's funny. Because it's not. No, it's really not. It's not funny. I'm still waiting for funeral crashers. I don't understand why that hasn't come out yet. Anyway, that's what I did with my time while I was laid up on...

[00:52:45] With your foot extended? With my broken knee. Nice. That was like a full rage week. It was a... It's all rage this week. It's all rage. You can put that in your tagline. That's right. Temperature rising. It's the rage episode. Vision blurring. Rage taking over.

[00:53:23] Okay, before I start my rage this week, I just want to make a comment that the dogs are really well behaved this week. Yeah, surprising because we're yelling a lot. This is... We've only had to record the episode once this week too, so... I want to give a shout out to Baxter and Benny for being the greatest little dogs that ever existed. Okay. All right, so my rage this week... Podcast isn't over, by the way, and Benny's circling. Circling the plug. Looking for something else to chew on.

[00:53:53] That's right. He's looking for something else to chew on. So far, he's been a good boy. All right. That's awesome. Okay, so my rage this week is one of... Well, my absolute favorite director of all time, for those of you who don't know, is the god of Canada. Marie said there's a lot of sweet... Talks about a lot of sweethearts in Canada, but the only true sweetheart for me is David Cronenberg and his baby and his baby baby. Baby. Anytime his babies want to make... Baby Junior.

[00:54:21] And if he has a grandson, I can't wait to see what the grand... If it gets better with age, then, you know, Brandon Cronenberg's kids are going to be the greatest directors on the planet. So here's the thing I have is that I've seen interviews with Cronenberg, and he says it's not easy to get money to make a movie. In fact, the last movie he made, he had to go to Greece to get money because he couldn't fund...

[00:54:49] The David Cronenberg could not get money to make a film, so he had to go to Greece, and the Greeks understand. Actually, it wasn't his last movie. It was the movie before his last movie. But... So how the fuck is Rennie Harlan getting money to make films when you have a director like Cronenberg that can't get money? I have no clue how that happens. I mean, I want to just... Not today, obviously, but next episode,

[00:55:18] we're going to bring the lists back because we are going to have a discussion about Rennie Harlan's last eight films. He's that pirate movie. I don't even know what his last eight films is. You know what? I don't want to know. I just know he did those stupid, stupid strangers movies. So there's three right there that were all rage. Oh, yeah. That was all Rennie Harlan. That was all Rennie Harlan. So how the fuck is Rennie Harlan getting unlimited amount of money to make unlimited amount of garbage? And you can't get directors like... You know who we haven't seen?

[00:55:50] Panos from Mandy, who did Mandy. Why have we had another Panos movie? Like, how is he... And he's even Greek. I don't get it. This world is fucked up. And it's mostly because of Rennie Harlan. That's what I'm going to say. Rennie Harlan's fault. He's destroying the universe. Rennie Harlan destroys the universe. That's my rage this week. That's the episode title. There you go. That's all I got. All right. Thanks, Benny and Baxter.

[00:56:38] All right. My rage this week is the fact that I had to watch Devil Wears Prada 1 and 2 all within like four days. That is way too much of those characters to have to take in in a... Single weekend? Single weekend. Yeah. In a 96-hour period. Not good. Yeah. That's it. That's my rage. Just those two movies existing, I suppose. Yeah. That happened to all three of us.

[00:57:07] You're not unique here. Ooh-hoo. The funniest thing the Barry's ever said.

[00:57:24] Here's to another edition of the Film Rage's totally retro nostalgia recall flashback.

[00:57:50] On this week's segment, Bryce goes way back to introduce the team to a film genre that's normally not in his wheelhouse. Fantasy. He got the boys to watch the 1981 film Clash of the Titans. This film has everything. A mechanical owl. A giant sea monster. A flying horse. Three witches passing around one eye between them. A titan versus a titan. Okay.

[00:58:16] Let's check in with our little ragers and see if practical effects, legendary stop motion animation of Ray Harryhausen and Sir Laurence Olivier's acting chops will get the gang hot from Medusa and Athena, or will it leave them stone cold with rage? You know, because of Medusa. Yeah, I get it. Stone. Yeah. Cold. Yeah. Release the Kraken! She was a stone cold fox.

[00:58:47] Man, Medusa gave some bone for me. I gotta say that. I wanted to stone my nuts. You know what the weirdest part of this movie was? What? Seeing Maggie Smith young. I know! My God, she was hot! Beat her CGI face in the image of the statue. Maggie's... Actually, I still think Maggie Smith is attractive. She didn't have a CGI face. What are you talking about? There's no CGI face. No. That was just... She was just young. She was just young. I don't think you're... I think you didn't even recognize her.

[00:59:17] Maybe not. Maybe not. So, okay, Bryce, tell... She was theetist. Tell us all what motivated you to pick this film in particular. Well, when I was a kid growing up, I actually owned all the Clash of the Titans toys when I was like seven, eight years old. Like from the actual movie? Yeah. When they had them back then? Nice. Because I had the big giant Kraken. I had the Pegasus. I had Perseus. And I had whatever it is. The horn dude. Oh, horny? The horny little devil?

[00:59:47] What was that? Calibus. Calibus. Yeah, that's the one. So, I had all those figures and whatnot. You were like Zeus. You just had their whole collection. I know. You put them in the middle of the Parthenon thingy. And I remember all the beats of this movie. As I'm watching it, I totally... I remember them really well. All the action sequences, I remember really, really well. So, there must have been something to it in order for me to all these years later. Well, you were seven.

[01:00:17] So, that's why. So, when I'm watching it back, I was actually surprised at how well I actually remembered all these sequences. The problem is everything that's in between these sequences. And I'm trying to figure out as a seven-year-old how I'm listening to this awful droning dialogue and how I actually found it entertaining. And I guess I did because there was enough action in between. And this was almost like a video game where you're going through level to level to level

[01:00:46] and then you finally had the big boss level at the end. That's right. Different quests. You do this quest, then you do this quest. And it hits the beats. And it hits them at a pretty steady pace. Yeah. The problem is there's a giant gap between them where you're like, oh, God. But, you know what? I really like the stop-motion animation. I love... Everybody loves stop-motion animation. For some reason, I love the whole Medusa scene. I think it's great. I love the witches and passing the eyes. But, like, there's a lot of creativity in this movie.

[01:01:17] It's... There's a lot of fun in this movie. It's still just dreadful dialogue. Do you know what? Can I just put a little thing here? Yeah. Because I think that this is what motivated Asylum. Because if you take all the practical effects and you turn it into CGI, this was basically an Asylum film. I suppose. But here's the thing. When I was first... When we said we were going to watch Clash of the Titans, I was like, okay, I got to watch... I got to find this damn thing.

[01:01:46] Can't find it anywhere. Right? I bought it. Did you buy it? Yeah. So here's what happened, though. For some reason, I just... I flipped to Turner Classic Movies, and guess what happened? It was on? They were running a Ray Harry Howzen marathon. What? I watched, like, everything. Did you watch Sinbad? I watched... Seven Voyages? I watched Seven Voyages of Sinbad. Oh, I fucking love that movie. I watched... The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad, I guess it's called.

[01:02:15] I watched The Golden Voyage of Sinbad. I watched Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger. I watched The Valley of Gwangi. Oh, my God. Where you first... You know, they go down to Mexico. And in a Mexico Valley, there's some dinosaurs, of course. Of course. And it's just cheesy, almost unwatchable, but so watchable, because the stop motion is just so much fun. And that's all it is. I mean, Ray Harryhausen had a thing. He was the master of stop motion.

[01:02:46] And I really enjoyed that aspect of it. And I can't say that every action sequence, whether it was good or whether it was bad in Clash of the Titans, made me smile every time. Like, they all made me smile. And sometimes they made me laugh. And that's okay. It's not the great movie that I remember being. I mean, seven-year-old Bryce was wide-eyed and thought that this was, like, the greatest thing he'd ever seen in his life. It probably was.

[01:03:12] And I understand why seven-year-old Bryce would look at this, because of the action sequences and all. And there was some, you know, some darker stuff. There was some intensity to it. There was some intensity to it. And I was like, this is probably, like, the most intense movie I'd watched at that point. Oh, yeah. And I was... You probably shit your pants. I was all over it. So, yeah, I get why. But at the end, I still didn't hate it. I liked it. It was fun. There were fun parts. I'm glad I didn't have to pay for it.

[01:03:42] I'm glad I owned it. I'm glad Turner Classic movies exist, because, boy, they have some fun stuff. They ran a... What was it the other week? The Little Shop of Horrors guy. Rick Moranis? No, no. The original? The director that made up all the movies. Oh, God. Yeah. You know him. I must know him. You're talking about the one with Rick Moranis, or...? No. The original... The original. Little Shop of Horrors, and...

[01:04:13] I do know, but... I can't remember. Anyway, keep talking. Anyways, just the Turner Classic movies. It just has such... Roger Corman. Roger Corman. Corman, okay. I can't... Yeah, I knew who you were talking about. Yes. No, Roger Corman made the original. They ran a whole month of Fridays with Roger Corman movies. What's that? 2000 was the original. No, the original was 1960, with Roger Corman directing and... Little Shop or Death Race? Jack Nicholson.

[01:04:41] No, Little Shop of Horrors. Yeah, I don't know anything about Little Shop. I'm talking about Death Race 2000. That's where I know him from. Oh, you know Roger Corman from that? Ah, gotcha. He's been around for a while. At any rate, Turner Classic movies spread a whole month of Fridays, where all they show is, like, Roger Corman movies. And it's just something to look forward to. Yeah? Because it's so good. You made some interesting stuff. I don't know. How did I get onto Roger Corman? Uh, because... I don't know. Because the Titans were on Turner Classic movies. Oh, because it was on Turner Classic movies.

[01:05:09] But yeah, I'm going to pump the tires of Turner Classic movies, because, man, it's... That's good stuff. It's a good stuff. And it's commercial-free. Good stuff. 80s. So fun. Unlike Jim, I have seen this many times since it came out. Yes. And, uh, yeah, I was too young to see it in theaters. As I mentioned, I didn't have access to a movie theater

[01:05:38] until high school, pretty much. Uh, I think I saw this on a movie channel at my dad's house when I babysat my bratty stepbrothers. Yeah, they're CLFs for sure. Then again, I watched a lot of movies on the old Skinamax back in the day. Yeah. Ah. For the record, Bryce, there is nudity in this movie. There is nudity in this movie. As a 13-year-old, I remember it. Oh, so good. Because you don't get to see a lot of boobies when you're 13. No. Sweet, sweet boobies. There wasn't a lot of it.

[01:06:08] You know, just Perseus and his mother running around naked on their island. And a quick side boob of the gorgeous Andromeda. Yeah. Just getting out of town. All I remember was side boob. There you go. But yeah, okay. Well, she had a bare butt, too, so that counts. But she was breastfeeding. She did have the bare butt. Didn't she breastfeed at one time, too? Yeah. You know, Perseus' mother was breastfeeding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were running on the beach naked. Yeah. Right, right, right. Anyway. PG-13.

[01:06:35] Other than that, it was essentially a kid's movie. Had a robot owl. Yep. Flying horse. For comedy. Some cool stop-motion creatures. And a cool adventure story. I remember loving it as a young'un. And that hasn't changed over the years. Yeah, it was cheesy. So was Flash Gordon. Flash Gordon. The Master of the Universe and a bunch of other action films from the 80s.

[01:07:02] I still enjoyed all of it, as bad as it might have been. Not to mention that awesome soundtrack. Which is much a part of the film as the characters. True that. By the gods, I love it. It's still a mondo. Wow. I still love it. I get it. I just think. It's cheesy as hell. I can't give it a mondo. So here's my quick recap of Clash of the Titans.

[01:07:31] So the acting is horrible by everybody. Yes. The FX is laughably bad for the most part. Maggie Smith, when she says, Calibus, what about my son? Yes. She knows he's a dumbass. So why even ask? And especially because he killed all of Zeus's winged horses. I tell you, they were really going at it up there.

[01:08:02] Yeah. Like, I just don't understand. I just don't understand why Zeus just didn't, you know, give him the taste in the back of his hand. Everybody. I mean, he's motherfucking Zeus. He is that. Yeah. So here's the thing. The movie's horrible, but to point Murray, it is a fantasy film, so it deserves a lot of credit. And I love fantasy films. They're probably my favorite genre.

[01:08:29] So I also love this movie when I was 15 and saw it in cinemas back in the day. But when you rewatch it with older eyes, you see all of the bad things about it. But you know what? Here's the thing. It's still worth seeing because of the stop animation, the corniness of it, the 80s-ness to it. It's a fun movie. I don't love it like I did when I saw it originally.

[01:08:56] It was a meh for me, but I highly recommend everybody see this one over the remake. Oh, 100%. Yeah. By far, this one's 20 times better. The remake's unwatchable. Yeah, it is. But yeah, it was good. I'm glad we got to see it. Yeah. All right. Next week, we are going to be watching. Mm-hmm.

[01:09:28] What? American Werewolf in London? Oh. Who picked that one? Is that you, Mark? It's not about me. Good pick. I've watched it like many, many times. Yeah. Probably is. So I'm going to be very happy to watch this because I also own it. I believe I own it. I'd have to look. Well, maybe we'll have a watch party at Jim's house this week. Nice.

[01:09:56] Well, that was a very fun-filled, rage-filled episode, everyone. Thanks, Ragers, for listening. Well, thanks to the Extended Film Rage family you can find in our show notes. Thanks to Casey from the Nerdy Photographer, the voice of Rager Dare, our god of rage, and the new voice of Film Rage's totally retro nostalgia recall flashback. Find the Nerdy Photographer wherever you stream this podcast. Find us on social media. We're at Film Rage YYC.

[01:10:22] Check out everything from Film Rage at FilmRageYYC.com, including our merch site for Redbubble and Tee Public. Mother's Day is coming, and you know what she wants, Film Rage. We're always wanting to make this a Raging Blast for all listeners, so please comment, like, subscribe, share, and give us emails at FilmRageCallic.com. Dearest to see terrible movies to fuel our rage. But no matter what you do, please, please, please, pretty please, please, please, please, I'm Megazor Rage. That's it for this week. Rage on.

[01:10:52] Rage on. Rage on.