Episode 281 - Universal Monster Letdown...... Again!

[00:00:05] It's time to feel the rage. Welcome to Film Rage where we talk movies, in theaters, streaming and classic films as well. Directors and actors beware as you cannot hide from the rage. My name is Bryson, I'm part of the Film Rage crew which also includes Jim. Hey there Jim.

[00:00:27] Hey, hey Bross. And also we have the Merman who's sporting one heck of a good looking haircut. Just for you buddy. I tell you, you are looking sharp my friend. Alright, so with the introductions out of the way, let's rage on.

[00:00:52] Well, thanks to all been supporting us. If you love our independent podcast, please like, subscribe, share and give us five star rating on your listening platform or support us and join the Film Rage community by joining our membership at buymeacoffee.com forward slash Film Rage YYC. If you cannot commit to a membership, you can still buy us a movie rental and dare us to see a terrible film. And there's a lot out there. As long as it played in the cinema anywhere in the world.

[00:01:18] Now, let's get to Rage YYC. And Bryce is going to sing the Merman song today. What are you talking about? What would the amazing Merman predict? What does the amazing Merman predict? Will he predict a Rage or will he predict a Mondo? Mondo. I don't even know the words to the song. Please stop singing.

[00:01:49] It's the worst. Well, I'm not sure. Here he comes swimming for you. Swimmery, swimmery. Swimmery. It's falling apart. Yeah, it is. All right, Merman, what do you got for us? Well, we saw a bunch of movies again. I actually made it to a couple. In the freezing cold.

[00:02:16] Yeah, so we got Wolfman, which is the latest in the Universal Movies series. Because, you know, they did so well with Invisible Man and The Mummy. Yeah, I was there with you guys. I think there might have been somebody else in the theater. It might have just been three of us. I don't know. No, it was just us. Either way, I'm pretty sure it was a piece of crap. So let's double rage on that one. Double rage! Raging! One of them days.

[00:02:46] Starring the fabulous Kiki Palmer. Kiki Palmer. Yes. And some rap artist person. Yeah, what's her name? I don't know. It just looks so unbelievably stupid. Is she a rapper? Is that what she does? Is it her day job? Whatever her name is. Zah. Rapper, hip hop. Zah. She might be a singer. Who knows? Crappy music I don't listen to anyway. I know she's an actress. There you go. Yeah? Yeah. Or an actor. Looks terrible.

[00:03:16] I'm sure it was terrible. Jim probably gave it a rage. I think Bryce maybe decided to give it a man. Wow. That's an interesting prediction. Never know. I will tell you one thing. I do love me some Kiki Palmer. Yeah, I'm sure you do. Yeah, you don't watch Password. I don't know what that means. She hosted. Wow. Wow. Wow. Ah, the last showgirl. Yes.

[00:03:44] Pamela Anderson. Vancouver's own. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I probably liked it better than you guys did because, you know, it's Pamela Anderson. Okay. But there was some, I think some good moments in it. Uh, let's go double meh. I'd say there were some more than good moments in it. And we got The Room Next Door, which I had never freaking heard of until I saw the trailer. And I'm like, oh, okay. It's Tilda Swinton. Tilda Swinton. It must be Mondo. Tilda Swinton.

[00:04:13] And that dude that you guys like. What's his name? I don't know his name. John Turturro? That guy. Uh, and yeah, all the, all the, uh, you know, fantastic reviews splashing across the screen while I'm watching the trailer. Oh. Yeah. Double Mondo. Double Mondo. Bet you guys loved it. Interesting. I can't even remember what I rated, actually. I can. Oh, there you go. I can totally remember. In fact, I can remember what I rated all these. Well, I hope you do because you're up. I'm up. Yes, you are.

[00:04:43] All right. Here we go. So we're going to start with Wolfman. Wolfman is a story of a family who take a trip to the Oregon woods for some rest and relaxation and so that the dad can check out his inheritance as his father had been missing for quite some time has finally been declared dead. Legally dead. So on their way to his childhood home, a wolfman appears in the road and causes

[00:05:11] him to lose control of his rental truck. I hope he got insurance as they found themselves. He ended up sideways in a tree. Yeah. Well, that was the thing. That's what I. So they found themselves like sideways in a tree, I think. But I don't know. It was kind of dark. Or maybe they were just wedged between a tree and the side of a cliff. Like, how in the hell are they in a tree? I really don't know what was going on because, you know, it was dark and the camera work didn't really set the stage at all.

[00:05:40] I was very confused. Anyways, it's here. The dad gets scratched by the wolfman and is. Is it's glaringly obvious that the wolfman is his father. I think we can all agree on that. Yeah. I think there's a lot of things we'll agree on. I connected those two. And then for the next while, we see a slow transformation as dad turns into another wolfman. The son of wolfman. What?

[00:06:11] Son of wolfman. Wasn't that a movie? So during all this, his kid was annoying and his wife looked kind of lost, not scared or trepidatious even, just kind of lost with the occasional deer in the headlights look into the camera. The eventual battle between the two dad wolfman was underwhelming. The entire film was underlit. And at no time did I really 100% know what was going on.

[00:06:41] I hated this film almost as much as I hated Lee Whannell's first foray into the universal monster universe. That, of course, being the invisible man. Hopefully after this debacle, they keep him away from any of the other monsters in said universe. I don't want, well, I don't need to see like Lee Whannell's creature from the Black Lagoon or Lee Whannell's Frankenstein or any of that.

[00:07:08] But anywho, Wolfman was a rage. I hated this movie. Okay. Hmm. I never saw that. It was so dark. I didn't know what was even going on. And what the hell were they doing? Like going up on the greenhouse? What the hell was that? That was stupid. I saw that in a Jurassic Park movie. Yeah. Well, it was down there too. How else are they going to fall down? Fall through. I guess. If they don't climb up on it. You're so dumb sometimes.

[00:07:38] I'm an idiot. How are you so dumb sometimes? I'm an idiot. Okay. So here's what I got to say. First part, the prologue, I think was maybe six minutes long, was actually pretty good. I actually liked it. All right. And then. Prologue. And then the movie started. So when their truck breaks down.

[00:08:03] So I'm just going to tell you a bunch of stupid things that happened in this movie because there's so many. I'm not going to give you all of them. Just some of the ones that I kind of remember. Yes. So the truck breaks down and they decide to run to the farmhouse. As you hear the creature chasing them, it's like 300 meters to the door from the woods as they run. They literally look behind them as they enter the house.

[00:08:32] And then one second later, the creature is at the door. And they're like, what is it? I'm trying. Like, if you can hear this thing running after you and it's like you're running for 300 meters. And then when you get in the door, it's at the door. You've seen the monster because you look behind you. What are you saying? What is that thing? Because you it literally would have almost attacked you. Well, it should have caught them and killed them. It should. Yeah.

[00:09:01] Well, it's a lot shorter. There's no way those three are making it to the door before Wolfman. Wolfman makes it there. I'm just saying. You're you're you're actually getting my second point, which I don't know how to have to make. So then, of course, of course, they block the door to protect themselves. But of course, there is a giant window right beside them. I noticed that. Yeah. Which is exactly what Murray says in the movie.

[00:09:29] Once daddy is infected, he can hear spiders walking along a web like it's a monster marching. But he couldn't hear his wife get up. Remember that when that happened? I might have been asleep at that point. So let me tell you what's louder. Her breathing in the bed beside him is louder than a spider walking on a web. Two rooms over.

[00:09:57] Like, what are what are these stupid things that he puts in these movies that just take you out of everything that's actually happening? It's it's just ridiculous. Also, I'm guessing that the Wolfman monster at least has etiquette to always use doors and not go through the window. In this cabin. Obviously. Doesn't want to cut itself on glass. Right? Obviously. Plus, why did the monster even chase them?

[00:10:26] Like, this is the part I don't get. He already had a perfectly tasty man that he killed earlier. Redneck. Yeah. Partially made Wolfman kills fully made Wolfman. Oh, what happened when they thought? Oh, wait. Nothing. He escaped. He wasn't dead. But we thought he was dead. You're making this sound stupid, Jim. Yeah, really.

[00:10:57] It's stupid. Okay. So then he's changing into a monster. And, you know, in every other case where you see the werewolf attack somebody other than when he's attacking his wife, he just attacks him and tears his arm off or scratches him or pulls him apart. But then little mommy, to your point, who's pretty much not even interested in the movie as it's being recorded, can bitch slap him with a little knife. Yep.

[00:11:27] Yeah. That made perfect sense. She's like, what, 90 pounds? Daddy goes in. Then he goes out of the cabin. Then he goes into the cabin. Then he's out of the cabin. He's not going to kill them. Then he is going to kill them. He becomes a jump scare. But then he doesn't kill them. Um, uh, sorry. So why were they even? I don't even get why they were scared.

[00:11:49] Plus the truck that they decided to get in to escape from him after they, I'm guessing maybe thought maybe he is changing and they should do something now because they couldn't seem to figure that out through the whole movie. Um, so they get in a truck and drive it away. It's still perfectly working. It's still sitting there running. Yeah. And yet what did they decide to do? They decided to run into the woods because that makes perfect sense. Yeah. Cause you know what?

[00:12:16] He can hear a spider crawling on a web and smell it. Probably. I'm guessing wolves have pretty good smell and yet they're going to hide from him in the woods instead of get in the fucking car or sorry, truck and drive away. Hmm. Hmm. But the makeup in this was pretty cool. I'll give you that. Sure. Yeah, it was okay. Um, there were so many holes in this that like, and it wasn't exciting. It wasn't interesting to your point.

[00:12:46] It was too long. Yeah. Yeah. It was too long. Uh, yeah. So there's so many holes in this, um, stupid movie. It needed more suspense and more people to kill. Um, but I had a good time watching Bryce as he talked all the way through this movie. He did. So it wasn't, so it was a man. Cause I had fun laughing at Bryce. And I'm pretty sure there was somebody crossed down the other row that we didn't see. I don't think so. I think there was.

[00:13:14] I just want to know who the wolf man was. Is that the wolf man? They got treated to the commentary. Is that the wolf man? They're both. Is she the wolf man? Everybody was the wolf man. No, this was a horrible, horrible rage. Just like it was a man was. There's, there's nothing good about these films. Um, I wasn't scared to your, the kid was the most annoying kid. Like if they, if they make these kids out to be any stupider in these movies, what's going wrong with daddy? She asked way too many questions.

[00:13:43] He's, he's already, he's already half wolf little girl. Like how dumb are you? She'd rather ask a million questions and actually look with her own eyes. Whatever. I don't know. Like it just, there's nothing about this. It was interesting. I would have nothing. That's what I would have done. Yeah. Kicked her out and locked the door. Enjoy. Yep. So that's, that's too rages. Yeah. What did you think, Mer? Well, it's no secret that I prefer vampires to werewolves. In fact,

[00:14:11] I would put werewolves at number four at a minimum behind vampires and ghosts and zombies. Not that there haven't been some good werewolf movies. Obviously American Werewolf in London is at the top of that. I also enjoyed Canadian classic Ginger Snaps. It was good. And the howling. The completely campy wolf cop. Ginger Snaps 2. And of course, my guy, Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf.

[00:14:41] This film is not even close to that level. I, you had me and then you lost me. He's a wolf. I enjoyed it. Uh, I never even saw the original. So maybe there isn't supposed to be any gore or violence or like people dying. As I was looking at my watch every 10 minutes, I noted it took 70 minutes, 7-0 before the wolf creature actually showed up on screen.

[00:15:07] Most of the first hour's unnecessary backstory and family drama between two people who had zero on screen chemistry, had no business being married, and their annoying kid who asked way too many questions about everything. The story was boring, predictable, and not nearly bloody enough for a horror film. Kudos to the makeup team for some of the creature effects, but yeah, it's a hard rage.

[00:15:36] Know what that means? What the hell Bryce is doing? Yeah, I mean, we probably could unpack a whole bunch of things here, but ultimately, this movie wasn't interesting. It wasn't scary. It wasn't bloody. It was not good. Nicely said. There you go.

[00:16:06] Move on. Moving on. So, one of them days. Yeah, baby. So, Kiki Palmer is my new spirit animal. That's what I want to say. She's got it. I want to say she's got it. She definitely got it. She's got it. And I've never heard of SZA. SZA. SZA. SZA. SZA. SZA.

[00:16:35] SZA probably sounds right. I think SZA is right. But she was funny. This is one of those typical road trip buddy comedies, but in this case, but in this case, they just happen to be on foot for most of it. Two down on their luck, BFFs who can't seem to catch a break, where they live in a real low, low end motel, like rental project with a cast of characters who were all well-defined

[00:17:03] from first time meeting them. One is an artist and one is a waitress. There is a ton of things that happen in this one day journey of trying to get rent money. Cause Alyssa's boyfriend spent all of their money that they're supposed to be for rent on in. And I'm putting in heavy quotes here investment into Goosey. Goosey. Goosey. It's Coochie. C-U-C-C-I. Instead of Gucci, it's Coochie. Oh,

[00:17:33] the C. I know. Oh, I thought it was Gussie because he didn't know how to pronounce it. No. No, he's trying to make it like pussy. A lot of this is very throwaway, but the interactions with the entire cast of characters bring some heart to this. Normally I might have hated this film, but there is enough funny parts in this that kept me laughing. Like the honey buns run and run by snatcher. Oh,

[00:18:02] forget me cracking up. The payday loans lady. Oh God. And my all time favorite lucky, the homeless dude. Oh, lucky. Who's like a local guru to these two. My favorite scene is when he's not getting anyone. And I'm putting in heavy quotes here to heed his wisdom. He's like, he's like, no one's heeding my wisdom. Causes the electricity scene, which we've all seen from the trailer.

[00:18:31] A lot of this is predictable and there is a lot of ludicrous and stupidity in this, but, um, I was just in the right mood when I saw this to make me laugh quite a bit through this. Maybe I shouldn't have liked it, but I actually did. This was mad for me. And I got a couple of things to unpack, but, uh, what'd you think, Brycey? I tell you one of them days exists to entertain. It's a black woman, buddy comedy that delivers laughs, hums along at a decent pace.

[00:18:59] And has some very entertaining cameos from little Ray Howery and especially cat Williams as lucky. The main characters drew and Alyssa played by the spectacular Kiki Palmer and in her feature film debut, SZA have undeniable onscreen chemistry. They, they, they feel like best friends to me. Um, the story is simple.

[00:19:27] The scenes are convoluted, but there is no denying the good time I had watching this. I'll keep it simple. One of them days was a high man. I, I really enjoyed watching this. Yeah, I did. Um, yeah, me too. I, I, and these are, I don't like buddy. No, I don't like road trip movies, but this was, this was funny. It was, it was fun. And it was heartwarming. Like everything's predictable. It was so predictable.

[00:19:56] It was so dumb, but it was just so, I mean, and it's, it's all about the, the two lead characters. It's all about those two lead characters. And they are, they are so good in this that I could watch another, I could watch one of them days too, and just look forward to reconnecting with these two characters. Yeah. I already missed them. If it made any money at all, it'd probably be a sequel. I, I kind of hope this be, I wish this would have became a, um,

[00:20:26] a sitcom actually. Yeah. This, this would be a great, and they could easily turn this into sitcom. Cause there's a lot of sketch bits in this that just really worked. And, um, so I have a couple of things I have to remind you of the blood bank scene. Oh, when they go, it goes to donate. And they basically drain her of all her blood. The blood goes everywhere. Yeah. Oh man. Um, Keyshawn's huge 20 inch penis. Yeah. I mean,

[00:20:56] that thing is a monster. That is a, that is a monster. If you see trousers, Nick, this was definitely a trouser anaconda for sure. Indeed. Um, and just lucky every single time he was on screen. Fricking lucky. I've never, I, I mean, I've never been a huge fan of cat Williams, but in this, Holy crap. Was he funny? Like this was so good. So good. Like everything he says, like if,

[00:21:24] if you can't pay today, what makes you think you could pay in a month? Yeah. Everything he said was just gold. Oh, just gold. Yeah. Yeah. Go see this movie. Go see it. It's a lot of fun. Cinemas. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. All right. Moving on. The last show girl is exactly what it sounds like.

[00:21:52] Story of an aging Vegas show girl and a long running show that stopped being entertaining or relevant years earlier. And it's finally closing due to poor attendance. Ah, this is a little razzle dazzle. Little razzle dazzle. This woman, this woman, Shelly is 57 and broke and unprepared for life after 30 years in the spotlight. Just as clueless. Just as clueless is her best friend played by Jamie Lee Curtis,

[00:22:22] who plays a cocktail waitress, who is also as powerless as time passes her by. Rounding out the cast is Dave Bautista as the show's production manager with a complicated relationship with Shelly and a young cast that includes Carrie Fisher's daughter as Shelly's estranged daughter that she abandoned years ago. As someone who loves all things Vegas, especially the glitzy glamorous shows,

[00:22:52] this film was depressing and hard to watch. It's tough to think that all the pretty people in those Vegas shows that we pay money to see actually could have real life problems. Obviously, this is exaggerated for the film. In a way, the story of this film parallels with Anderson's career. Once thought of as one of the most beautiful people in Hollywood, her life as a pinup girl and object of desire has definitely passed her by,

[00:23:22] which is why she was perfect for this role. And I think she did an incredible job. Look, nobody will ever consider her a great actress, not with a resume that includes Baywatch and VIP and a certain video with Tommy Lee. But she's not done yet, Murr. Oh, just saying. She didn't, hasn't exactly had a great career up until now. Yeah. Maybe she's just getting started. Well, she's not on the home channel a lot. Apparently she does gardening and stuff,

[00:23:51] but the complete vulnerability she shows in this role as an aging showgirl who is facing a difficult future with no options was nothing short of incredible. Throw in an outstanding performance by Jamie Lee Curtis as her best friend with a sharp tongue, who's just as clueless as her and a soft and understated performance by the always entertaining Dave Bautista as her friend, slash coworker. A great song by Molly Cyrus and a very good score.

[00:24:21] Um, I can't help but give this a mondo. I loved it. Huh? Nice. Interesting. I know. Well, merman, here's what I thought. I can't wait. The Last Showgirl is one of those movies where the performances of the stellar cast elevate the film to heights it would not have achieved had it not been for these actors' portrayals of these unforgettable personas within a simple yet fascinating character study.

[00:24:50] Pam Anderson, Pam Anderson as Shelley is the last of a bygone era in this as the showgirl extravaganza La Razzle Dazzle ends its 30-year run. Ander, Anderson plays this role to perfection as she delivers every line with breathless enthusiasm. You care for Shelley deeply, even though you may not share her zealousness for her job.

[00:25:18] She sees the world differently than most and is unapologetic for it. She knows she has made mistakes, but the past is the past. And now she has to deal with the present, which is terrifying for her as so much of her identity is defined by her stage career, which seems to be coming to an end. Also in this, we have Dave Bautista giving the most layered and best performance of his career as Eddie,

[00:25:48] stage manager for the show and all-around good guy. Then we have Jamie Lee Curtis as Annette. Every scene with Annette is exhausting in the best way. But this is all about Anderson, who shows that she can share the screen with a titan like Jamie Lee Curtis and still shine like the movie star she was meant to be. I am so happy she got this opportunity to show what she can do, and I hope this opens more doors for her in the near future.

[00:26:17] The last showgirl on the back of Pamela Anderson's performance was Mondo. Wow, wow, wow. Wow. Got two Mondos there, did we? I know. All right. With a stellar cast behind her, with my recent favorite of mine, Dave Bautista, plus the aged and haggard Jamie Lee Curtis,

[00:26:47] who knew Pamela Anderson could act in a heavy drama? Hmm. Certainly not me. This film is very raw and doesn't hold back on character realness. I thought all of the actors did a great job. For me especially, it was Dave and Jamie. I didn't think, I'm not as high on Pam's performance as you two might have been, but I think she did a great job.

[00:27:15] It's definitely the best portrayal she's ever done on screen, ever. The story is about the last days, as we've said, of a classic showgirl and Pam's character coming to grips with it. On top of that, she's trying to find forgiveness from her estranged daughter. At times, she doesn't seem to be fully grasping what's happening, kind of like Bryce is most times, and is still trying desperately to cling to the career that made her feel special

[00:27:45] and in a way loved. The story idea we have seen many times of people who are seasoned in their careers and have reached what society sees as no longer useful or needed, all the while seeing our lead wrestling. See what I did there, Dave? I see what you did there. With their realization that maybe what they loved as a job for their self-worth didn't love them back.

[00:28:14] For the most part, this film is sad and depressing and self-awakening that our lead goes through. For me, I can relate to what she was going through and have seen it many times in Friends. I'm sure perhaps the Murr has probably felt a little bit about how the journey that she's went on. Yeah, going through it now. Yeah. I really liked this a lot. Liked it a lot.

[00:28:44] But? But I thought that there was almost too many layers that they tried to put in here as the film progresses. And everything was kind of coincidentally happening all at the same time. To me, I love the performances. I think the performances were fantastic. And I agree with you, Bryce, that the performances make this film, as do some of the characters in it.

[00:29:11] But I don't think that her trying to connect with her daughter and what happens with the show, I think they didn't need to have that whole part in it. The fact that they did, I'm not really complaining about it. I just think they put too many layers in. And the story could have been more simple about just the ending of it. Throwing in the daughter's character in it kind of was like, now you're going to throw something else in there

[00:29:41] and throw something else in there. It just seemed like they were just adding too many layers. A very simple story. I didn't really... The daughter's character I didn't feel was needed. I really liked it. I think it defined who Anderson's character was. She basically put her own career ahead of her own child for so many years that now it's catching up to her. That's what I thought it was. That was the reason that she was there, was to point out that she chose her career over her child.

[00:30:10] But they didn't need her that much in the movie. It was taking away from the rest of the story and the other characters because they put these other really strong characters that are her friends and we didn't get their characters flushed out enough in my opinion. I think those characters should have had the spotlight more than her daughter because her daughter was a bit of a side effect. Don't get me wrong. I did enjoy this film. I liked it a lot. I just didn't think of it as Mondo.

[00:30:39] I felt that they could have done better. That's all I'm going to say. I don't disagree. But on the back of the performances, I could give it nothing but a Mondo. It was just... Yeah. I was just blown away. Same with me. I get it. No, hey. I get it. I've done that in movies. Well, no, I've never done that in movies. I look at the whole movie, so... I also look at the whole movie, Jim.

[00:31:08] Not just the last 30 seconds? Unless... Well, if that last 30 seconds annoys the hell out of me... Yeah. It gets a rage. It gets a rage. But this got a Mondo. Yeah. All right. Because the last 30 seconds was fantastic. There you go. That's not... That's not true, Jim. Not entirely true. I'm sure you guys didn't like the Hollywood ending, but... Yeah. I did like the soundtrack, though. You're right, Marie. I think the soundtrack and the score was good.

[00:31:38] Yeah. This is a... I think people should see this movie, especially... For sure. ...to be surprised by how... How good she could be. ...good a performance that Pamela Anderson actually could pull out. All right. So, we got... Up next, we've got Pedro Almodovar. I always have trouble saying his name for some reason. But Pedro Almodovar's The Room Next Door is a tale of friendship between two women. Ingrid and Martha are friends from way back.

[00:32:07] They're both writers, which is evident as their conversations have a poetic quality. Martha, played by Tilda Swinton, is dying and asks Ingrid, played by Julianne Moore, to take a trip with her where she intends to take her own life. Jumbled up in all this is Damien, played by John Turturro, past lover of both of them, and current close friend of Ingrid. So, we have a lot of acting talent here.

[00:32:34] But the film seemed to be lacking as after the journey I was taking with them, with these characters, I should have felt more emotion. As usual, technically, this is a superior bit of filmmaking. As primary colors jump off the screen, whether it be clothes or walls or lipstick, there is an energy to Almodovar's filmmaking that always has me dazzled, even when the story lacks.

[00:33:03] For that, this feast for the eyes is worth devouring. But considering the immense acting talent brought on for this project, I wish they had more to work with. Still, I liked it a lot. There are some very, very entertaining scenes. It is a beautiful-looking movie, but it was mad. All right. This is good. I love it.

[00:33:30] So, The Room Next Door, this film, I feel, helps us to feel and experience what it might be like to have a dear friend ask you to be in the room next door as they commit euthanasia. The feelings each might have. What would you do or how would you act? Would you do it? Yep.

[00:33:57] And from whom in your group of friends would you do it for? Any of them. This is a big question. And in the U.S. in particular, because killing yourself is a crime, apparently. And if you are to, and I'm going to put in heavy quotes here, be in the next door, then you are now an accomplice to it.

[00:34:23] The direction in this seems stiff and almost too controlled at the beginning of this film. As Swinton and Moore deliver their dialogue in almost factual ways. It almost feels staged and rigid. I'm not sure if that was intentional. But as the film progresses, we get to know these amazing characters. It feels better and easier to connect to them.

[00:34:49] This is basically just them and the cancer and the emotion of this act and what surrounds it. And I'll agree with Bryce in the sense that I think I should have. Like, I did not cry when I got to the end of it. You should have. Which, initially, when it ended, I really had to think about this movie. And this is one of those movies when I walked out of the cinema.

[00:35:19] I was in the same camp as you was seeing, but this film has stuck with me since I saw it. And I can't stop thinking about it. And the reason I can't stop thinking about it is because I feel that they had given us enough of the argument for Tilda Swinton's character that I felt that I could relate to it in a way that I think a lot of people,

[00:35:48] like, when I went and saw this with my wife, she had a completely different vision and viewpoint of this film than me. And we had a great discussion around it. And part of that, I think, comes from the fact that I wasn't so emotionally. I could analytically and logically think through this dilemma and this question, which I think as Canadians, maybe we take for granted a bit, but we're allowed to kill ourselves when we want to.

[00:36:16] Well, at least for the most part in certain circumstances. In this particular circumstance, we'd be perfectly okay going and getting into the suicide room. Like on Futurama. But in the U.S., that's not even an option. So I think the audience for this is more designed for Americans and them sitting on both sides of the fence, which I could get inside the mindset of this. Both these actors were brilliant.

[00:36:45] The ending, I thought, was perfect. The ending was good. Yeah. So, Murray, I have a question for you. Where do you sit on the fence on this? Do you, would you, if I came to you and said, I'm going to kill myself, but I want you to be there with me in the next room. Have you had cancer? Yeah. He's terminally ill. He's not just going to. Yeah. If you're suffering, then absolutely. I'm with you. Yeah. See, and I have a feeling. Well, we all kind of have similar mindsets around.

[00:37:14] I don't want to be in the next room, though. I want to watch. Yeah. I have watched way too many relatives get sick and die in hospital beds. That sucks. Prolonged. Just, yeah. Just wanting the suffering to be over. It's super poopy. It is. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I've seen. As long as it's not like slashing your wrist or something like that. I mean, what do you call it? The lethal injection or whatever. Yeah. She had a pill. Where you just fall asleep. Then, yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:37:44] She got a suicide pill from the dark web. Yeah. Oh, like the spies that I have? Yeah. Similar. Yes. Similar. Yeah. There you go. But here's a question too, Bryce. Do you think that Kilda was actually just grooming Julianne Moore's character? No. To what? Take over? There's an argument to be made about that. Okay. Go ahead and make it.

[00:38:10] Well, because she did ask a bunch of characters and she knew Julianne's character and she was basically grooming her kind of, she got inside her head to get her to a place that she wouldn't have done. I almost like, because the movie takes a while before she does, like they get connected, you know, the whole time. It wasn't like they got together and then she asked her right away. They were connecting and getting back into it.

[00:38:40] So that's what kind of makes it think that she was. She also wasn't the, she also wasn't the first person that she was, she was, like she asked, she, in the movie, you find out that she asked many other people before her because she knew the problem that she had with death. So, I don't think that she took a lot of time. See, I think she might. No, because in that time that she was spending with her, she was just spending it with her because she enjoyed her company and she's nearing the end of her life. She's asking people that she knows.

[00:39:09] No, because she's all, at the time, she wouldn't be asking people that she knows would be, that she thought would be okay with it. But she would just be grooming Julianne Moore and not worrying about this other stuff. So, no, I don't agree with that. Yeah, no, I think, I think she did. But I think the reason I think she did is because she tried to get through all of her friends and Julianne Moore was kind of like the last one. She didn't even know she was going to come visit. Then she said, ah, now I've got somebody. I'm going to work her good.

[00:39:40] And then I'll get her. She didn't, she could have just asked her, but she didn't. We got to see her slowly getting her and grooming her towards it. I love this movie. I love, I still can't stop thinking, but this was Mondo for me. Really? I liked it a lot. As I say, I could sit there and watch any of Pedro's movies and they're all, they're all just beautiful to look at for one thing.

[00:40:07] And there's always some, the one, here's the one thing that I had a problem with. I am like 100% on board with John Turturro's views about everything in this movie, but it was almost too much. It was so far over the top that I was like, even though I agree with everything, it's too much. It just was too much. Was his character Catholic? No, his character wasn't. No, not at all. Because Catholics believe it's Catholic.

[00:40:36] He just sees the world and the doom that's impending. Because Catholics believe that suicide is a sin. Yeah, yeah. It has nothing to do with the suicide. He has some world views that I completely agree with, but it was almost too heavy handed preaching that I just like, uh. I liked it. It kind of showed the contrast of it. But, and yet he was willing, and that's part of the reason I think he helped.

[00:41:05] Based on his views, you have no problem with that. In fact, he wants less people in the world, period. He's not alone. Who doesn't? Just like me. Just give me the glove, I'll do the Thanos. That's right. If I had a glove, man. This planet would be safer and better. That's right. All right. And maybe it'd be one of us. Who knows? When I snap my finger, it's all random. And it'll be over. Either way. That's right. You're all good. All right, Merman.

[00:41:34] Ooh, I know that music. You do. Are you grooving on the music there, Jim? You can't hear the music. Jim's grooving. It's in his head. Uh, okay. Uh, over the holidays, my local cable provider had a number of movie channels on free preview. So, hell, for what I pay every month, they should be throwing in free stuff.

[00:41:56] Uh, so being at home with no job, I watched a lot of classic movies and taped a whole lot more. While I finally got to a juicy one that I was saving up, Eric the Viking from 1989. Yes. I like Eric the Viking. Surprisingly, I've never seen it. What? What? But I had three things that I love in it. Yeah. Tim Robbins. Check.

[00:42:25] The guys from Monty Python. Check. And Vikings. Yeah. I figured, how bad could it be? As it turned out, very bad. What are you talking about? Oh my god, it was so bad. Uh, the basic premise of this film is Robbins as a Viking who doesn't like to plunder, pillage, killer race. Yes. As is the Viking custom. Mickey Rooney, as his grandfather, is very disappointed in him.

[00:42:54] So he decides to go visit Eartha Kitt, the witch. Yes! For guidance. Anything with Eartha Kitt is a mondo. I'm saying that right now. She sends him on a quest. Find a magic horn. Go to Valhalla. Awaken the gods. Yes! And bring sunshine to the endless winter of Scandinavia. Yes! Of course, along the way, there's a dragon. Yep. And the evil John Cleese to stop them. Simple, right?

[00:43:24] It's so good. I get what this film was supposed to be. It's basically a holy grail rip-off. Written and directed and starring Terry Jones. Yep. Problem is, it wasn't that funny. What? Not to somebody with Viking blood in their veins who lives for this stuff. Yeah, they got some of this stuff right. The legend, they did their research. There were some funny bits. Yes.

[00:43:52] Like the ragtag bunch of useless Vikings all fighting over who's going to sit where in the boat before they leave. Yes. Terry Jones as the clueless Caesar-type leader of a Shangri-La place who refuses to believe his perfect island is sinking until it actually does. And for some reason, who can't see a naked Eric the Viking in his daughter's bedroom, even though he's standing right in front of him.

[00:44:20] Unfortunately, this film seems to take itself too seriously. And it's not a serious film by any stretch of the imagination. Yeah, disappointing, but it was definitely a rage. I didn't like it at all. Huh. I was hoping I would, because, you know, Vikings, but no. You know Vikings. Didn't do it. Didn't do it for me. Oh, that's disappointing. I know. It's a fun romp. Yeah, I don't know about that. Fun is a relative term. Temperature rising.

[00:44:52] Vision blurring. Rage taking over.

[00:45:23] Anytime, Jim. Okay, my rage this week is, can we please stop making horrible horror movies? Like, just, I don't understand it, because you hear these directors, and they're like, oh, I'm a horror fan. I love horror. It's like, how can you make a terrible horror movie if you're a horror fan? I don't get it. It doesn't make any sense to me.

[00:45:52] Like, I mean, there's obviously a lot of different horror fans, and, you know, I haven't even looked up what other people are thinking about this Invisible Man reimagining wolfy version, but these, there's just way too many crappy horror movies. Is there the only things that are, well, this one's a remake, too. Never mind. I was going to say, at least some of the horror movies we're getting are original content. There are some original ones coming out.

[00:46:22] There is, yeah, there's some original content. But when Blumhouse gets a hold of it, or apparently Universal, it's like, they're just horrible. I'm just so sad. That's my rage. Stop making bad horror movies. Especially remakes of movies that, do we need another Wolfman movie? We need a better one. Do we need this stuff? Like, just Nosferatu.

[00:46:52] Like, come on. Like, just write some original content. Dean Koontz and Stephen King, and these are just two horror names that are big. Like, we haven't even seen half of Dean Koontz's stuff, and he's written a ton of original content. There's so much original content in books that are fantastic. Get them into fucking movies already.

[00:47:14] Yeah, my rage is very similar to Jim's, but it's more focused on the Universal Monsters period. If you were going to bring them back, I wish you would have done it right. I'm very disappointed in every single film so far.

[00:47:45] And maybe that was inevitable because I've got such admiration for the originals. They were all ahead of their time. If you go back and watch, like, the original Dracula, some of the camera work in that movie would hold up today. The performances were so good in a lot of those movies as well. Well, I just, you know, Lon Chaney and Wolfman, so, so good.

[00:48:11] I'm just very disappointed in the direction that this whole reboot or whatever you want to call it has taken, especially with movies that I absolutely love, love, love. I own them all. I watch them semi-regularly. I just very disheartened with these portrayals of these beloved characters. So, that's my rage.

[00:48:57] Last time on Rage or Dare, the boys obviously missed their god of rage over the holidays because they quickly skinny-dipped into the rage pool that is my overly chlorinated bag of evil remakes, where they pulled the 2011 remake, Arthur. This week, it's Bryce's turn to rage or dare, even though we know what he'll say. Come on, Bryce. Now, let's check in with the crew and see if Russell Brand, as a drunk idiot pianist,

[00:49:26] does a better job than Dudley Moore. And I will just say this before they get started. He can't. It can't be done. I race cars. I play tennis. I seduce women. But I have my weekends off. And I am my own boss. When you come between the moon and New York City. You know what's crazy? But it's true. All right, then. I thought he was going to start singing the theme song.

[00:49:57] So, Arthur. The, what, 2011 remake? Is that what this is? Yeah, I think so. Something like that. I'm not going to be very popular. I can just tell with what I thought of this movie. Russell Brand plays super rich Playboy Arthur Bach. It's the remake of the 1981 Dudley Moore vehicle. I actually enjoyed it much more than I enjoyed the original. I thought the original was terrible. I never liked it.

[00:50:27] I still don't. I tried to watch it again. I could only make it through both through half of it. And I'm like, I'm the guy that will sit through anything. And after half of the original Arthur, I was done. Russell Brand is absolutely, this is the role he was born for. This is the least annoying he's ever been in any movie ever. I loved Helen Mirren playing the role of Hobson.

[00:50:55] She doesn't do it better than John Gielgud from the original. But she does it just as effectively and just as good. And I'm sorry, any movie where I've got Luis Guzman on screen, I'm going to enjoy every single scene. Luis Guzman can be in anything. He is pretty good. And I will enjoy it every single time.

[00:51:19] Every second that that man is on screen is a second worth experiencing, no matter what he's in. And I will say that Greta Gerwig was as likable as she's ever been. And she's a very likable actress to begin with. Actor. But she was, once again, she was very likable in this. Jennifer Garner was terrible. She's always terrible.

[00:51:48] She's the only thing in this that I absolutely hated, though. There's one thing in this movie that I hated. And about nine things that I either liked or really liked. I mean, Luis Guzman, I love this guy, man. He's so good. I had no problem with this movie. I liked it better than the original. It had a certain something. I can't say. I can say that I probably laughed a dozen times in this movie. And I don't laugh in comedies that often.

[00:52:17] I literally, there was one, and there was one where I actually laughed out loud. I wish I could remember the scene. But there was one scene that I laughed out loud. This was not a horrible movie. And for a remake, it was better than the original. So it was a meh. It was a low meh. But it was a meh. I didn't hate this. I'm kind of glad I watched it again. Because I actually remembered not liking it as much as I ended up liking it. Yeah.

[00:52:48] No, I hated the original too. Yeah. The original was awful. I tried to rewatch it too. And I do think this one was better than the original. Yeah. But this also did not need to be made. Didn't need to be made. And I'm going to completely disagree with you. Russell Brandt can't act. Like, he just can't. Nope. In this movie, he had scenes in it that he could act.

[00:53:15] But when you look at his first, the first half of this movie, it was like, he's horrible in this. Just horrible. Disagree. And it was so apparent in this movie. He's a moron in this. This is just a rom-com dressed up as a rom-com, which, as per usual, you have an idiot. Same as usual.

[00:53:39] In this case, it's a man who falls in love with a woman who apparently is also a complete idiot, who also has low self-esteem. It's nice that two idiots can find each other. Because why else would you fall for a completely annoying, idiotic moron? Did the most part, this was all completely annoying. Although, I have to admit, I liked Helen Mirren.

[00:54:05] And as you mentioned, Luis Guzman is freaking brilliant. But otherwise, it's another rich person who's torn between having money and being an alcoholic and being the person he loves. I didn't feel anything for anybody in this movie. I didn't think it was funny. I found it annoying and unbelievable. And I hated it. This movie was horrible. I don't even... Again, here's a case where...

[00:54:34] It's fine. You're liking some of the performances, but the movie on itself, it was not good. The only... There was no reason. Here's the only thing I... The only thing I had a problem with was the Grand Central Station scene where they cleared out the whole thing because there's no way on earth that would ever happen. No matter how many billions of dollars you have. That kind of annoyed me. But everything else was fine. None of this made any sense. The movie was... It's a comedy. It doesn't have to make sense.

[00:55:04] It just has to make you smile. And it did. He was annoying. He was annoying. Yeah, this is the best he's ever been. I find him annoying in everything. And I thought... And I thought... I thought he fit this role to a tee. This was the one... This was the role he was born to play. Yeah, no. I don't think he was born to play any role. I'm not going to disagree with you. This is the best he's ever been, but he was horrible in this. And he's horrible in everything. So, no. No.

[00:55:33] And yet, I think he does a really good podcast. So, I watch him on YouTube. He's pretty good in the YouTube. And he's funny on his YouTube channel. This was totally meh. No, this movie's terrible. Nah, it was meh. You're a dumbass. All right. Well, let's see what you've got to watch for next week. Okay. Sorry. What am I doing? I'm pulling something for you to watch next week. Something that you will be watching next week. I don't think it's my turn, though.

[00:56:03] It was your turn. Both of your guys' last week. So, yeah. It was one of you this week. Yeah. It's Bryce's turn. It was six-pack. And then we were there. Yeah, he had six-pack. Two weeks ago. And now it's your turn. So, buckle up. You sure six-pack wasn't a few weeks ago? No. It was two weeks ago. But, yeah. All right. Whatever. What am I pulling? Who do you want me to pull from? Anything but yours. No, there's no way I'm pulling from mine. Let me tell you that right now. That's the one your hand is on. I got Jim's bag in my hand. Nice.

[00:56:32] I almost want to pull from Casey because Casey just gave me a winner. I want you to pull from mine because I want you to pull El Conte so we can talk about it. You're so silly. Unlike you, I'm giving you a... It's the only way I'm going to get you to see that movie. No, it's on my list to see. You don't have to put it in the bag. I'm definitely going to watch it. It'll be a surprise one day. You'll be just like, oh, now I actually have to watch it. Okay. So, I have pulled something.

[00:57:00] You got a lot of movies in there, man. Yeah. I put the work in, bitch. I also put the work in. Once. I don't even think this is a movie. What's it say? In the name of the king, a dungeon siege tale. What in the hell is that? That's not a movie. That's a movie. Sounds like Dungeons and Dragons. That's not a movie.

[00:57:31] Where the hell am I going to watch this? That's a good question. Everywhere. Don't you have like... I've seen this. Oh, you dirty, dirty, rotten bastard. Can you want to repeat this again? It's called In the Name of the King, a dungeon siege tale. That's what it's called. Hey, Statham's in it. Oh, yeah. It's an Uwe Bull classic. There you go. 3.8 out of 10 per night.

[00:58:01] I don't know how he gets all these people to be in his movies. Ray Liotta's in it. Ray Liotta, Jason Statham. Jonathan Rhys-Davies. Matthew Lillard. I mean, it's got a lot of people in it. One of the Terminators is in it. Oh, dear Lord. There you go. Hey, Kurt Reynolds is in it. He plays the king. Yeah. Oh, God. All right. Good luck with that. This is how we're going to play it, eh? We're going to have Uwe Bull in our bags. Okay, I'm going to remember that.

[00:58:32] That is something worth remembering. All right. You gave me motherfucking Kenny Rogers, and he was not eating chicken. No, he wasn't. No, he wasn't. He wasn't playing cards either. All right. Well, me and Baxter, my boy, are going to watch some Jason Statham tonight.

[00:59:26] All right. Please, please, please, pretty please, please, please, please make us a rage. That's it for this week. Rage on. Rage on.