Episode 280 - Monkey Handy Fun

[00:00:04] It's time to feel the rage. Welcome to Film Rage where we talk movies in theaters, streaming and classic films as well. Directors and actors beware as you cannot hide from the rage. My name is Bryson, I'm part of the Film Rage crew which also includes Jim. Hey there Jim. Um, hey hey brass. And also we have the Merman, he's sporting an LA Rams. Go Rams!

[00:00:35] Uh, shirt today. What is that? Los Angeles Rams Super Bowl champion. Super Bowl champions. About to happen again. Can they do it again, Murr? I don't know. They've got some momentum. That's right. I'll be honest with you. I know. Minnesota kind of sucks so they were like all smoke and mirrors my friend. I don't know how they had that record because they are not that good. They shot the bed, that's for sure. I felt bad. Yeah, I think the Rams got a shot. Charlie likes the Rams. Let's talk football.

[00:01:05] What fucking is happening right now? Oh yeah. What podcast are we on? Don't worry Jim, in two weeks it'll be over. It's never over. So with the introductions out of the way. Let's rage on. Well, for all who support us, thank you. I don't care about football.

[00:01:25] If you love our independent podcast, apparently about football, please like, subscribe, share and give us five star rating on your listening platform or support us and join the film rage community by joining our membership at buymeacoffee.com forward slash film rage yyc slash football. I'm creating a new page on our website about how many times these fucking idiots talk about football. If you cannot commit to a membership, you can still buy us a movie rental and dares to see a terrible film.

[00:01:53] If it played anywhere in the cinema in the world. Now, let's get to raging. Yes. What an amazing moment. What an amazing moment. They tell us all what Jim and Bryce are at the movies.

[00:02:21] I am all off, but you know what? Kids. Birds coming swimming to you. My timing was like way off on that one. It sure was. It was the worst. We're not done. We haven't gotten the swimmery swim. Swimmery swim. All right. We're done. Okay, then. Well, there was three juicy ones this week. Thankfully, I didn't have to go see.

[00:02:52] I almost went to one of them, but my plans change. So, Den of Thieves 2. I didn't know there was a one, to be honest. There was. You're fortunate you didn't know there was a one. My boy Gerard. Yes. And it seems to be some kind of a heist movie. It's some kind of a heist movie. Yeah. I can't see you guys giving it anything but a rage. Double rage. Even on the Gerard Butler scale? Remember, I rate Gerard Butler movies on a curve now. No, this is straight up.

[00:03:22] No, no. This is straight up. Just put out a man. Oh, just wait. I'll be talking about him later. More on the Gerard Butler curve later. Yeah. So, double rage. Next one is Better Man.

[00:03:50] Now, judging by what these two said, they have no freaking idea who Robbie Williams is. I didn't know what the heck a Robbie Williams is going into. Which I find hard to believe. He's like, according to the records, he's like the biggest selling U.S. artist. U.K. U.K. pop artist of all time. He's beat all those other guys. I'm sure he has. And he was in some boy band, apparently. But yeah. Take that. Take that, Murray. This was a movie about him, except he's played by a monkey. Yeah. So, I know you like your talking monkeys. You know what?

[00:04:20] It's the only monkeys I like. And it's got some music. I like all monkeys. So, let's go double man. I'm pro-monkey. I'm going to go on the record right now. You're pro-monkey? I'm pro-monkey. I'm a little pro-monkey. You're pro-horse, too. Hey, everybody's got something to hide. Except for me and my monkey. There you go. Lost me again. It's the Beatles. It's the Beatles. Yeah, I don't know. Which I find it hard to believe that he's outsold the Beatles. Wait. Hold on a minute. Oh, that's a band. He knows single artists. Oh, soul artists. Really?

[00:04:49] And Murray's- I'll buy it. Murray's surprised that we don't know anything by Robbie Williams. And we're surprised he doesn't know that song by the Beatles. Well, I don't like the Beatles. Okay. Just stop. I barely know like 10 of their songs. I don't even want to talk about this anymore. I don't maybe 10 of their songs. You're making me angry. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so double meh for that one. Double meh. And we got Young Werther. You realize it's a biopic and a musical. And you see double meh?

[00:05:17] And for a guy you've never heard of and music you probably even like. So there you go. And you're still going double meh. There's no way you could model that. No, I thought you'd go double rage. No. You think there's enough care? It's got a talking monkey and it's got music in it. I think maybe you might. All right. I mean, hey. You know what? Murray's putting more time into this. He's like above. Okay. What's the baseball term where he's above? I got to tell you, Murray, if I'm looking at this, I'm going rage, rage for sure.

[00:05:44] But I respect that you've peeled the layers back. Of that banana. But based on the fact you didn't know who he was, I figured maybe you might. There's a snowball chance here. I feel like I know him better now. I know him better. There you go. And the last one, Young Werther, which surprisingly is not about candy. I thought it was. No. Right there, that should make it a rage. I almost went to this one. It's like false advertising. And then I watched the trailer.

[00:06:11] And I watched it degrade from what might be a kooky movie into a rom-com. So it's like, yeah, double rage. Let's just see. Yeah. Let's see. As always, I don't care. I'm kind of excited about this. Rage, rage, man, man, rage, rage. You think that we're going to totally agree? Interesting. I mean, did you see the movies? I saw the movies. Okay. Just so, you know. Well, I don't think we're going to totally agree. Oh, I think we're going to disagree on one. Yeah.

[00:06:41] I'm 100% convinced that we're going to disagree on one. Yes. Because you didn't think it was as fantastic as I thought it was. Yes. Yes. All right. So we're talking Den of Thieves 2, and it had some kind of subtext. What was that subtext? Procreate? Procreation? Progetile? Pantera? Poop Fest? Pantera?

[00:07:10] Pantera the band? No. I think it was Pantera. Pantera. Okay. Wasn't it? Maybe. I wish there was some Pantera in it. Because that makes it better. It would have been way better if there was a Pantera in it. It is. It's Ben of Thieves 2, Pantera. And there wasn't one Pantera song in it. There wasn't even a Pantera song in it. In the whole movie. That's bullcrap. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. That really, man. That's going to change my rating.

[00:07:40] You might have to rage about it now. All right. Well, let me tell you about Den of Thieves 2. Oh, please do. Pantera. Okay. So. Please do. Everybody knows me. Heist films are horrible at the best of times. I'm not a fan either. So how they try and make stealing things from hardworking people and try to make it, and I'm going to put it in heavy quotes here, sexy to be gangster. Yes. Or I don't know what the fuck, how to describe it.

[00:08:10] Like, I don't understand heist films. Gangster sexy. Mostly because I don't understand why watching someone trying to steal money from someone who worked really hard and save their money and buy diamonds or whatever the fuck people are trying to steal from them makes it good. I don't get it. Well, I mean, there's. If they're buying diamonds, they probably have a little bit of money. Yeah. I don't. I don't think I have a problem with that. What are you talking about?

[00:08:39] Like, if someone can't. Someone heisted. When you watch a movie about despicable people, sometimes they're entertaining. So I don't know where you're coming from there, but whatever. But there's no purpose for them. That's all I'm saying. But it happens. And you can still make a good movie if it's. You can make one. Just so that nobody ever has. There can be one movie about it, and then they don't need another one. That's my thoughts. All right. Okay. Anyways, move on. Now, I didn't see Dot One. So prior to watching this, I started watching it.

[00:09:08] Did you see what he did there? Dot. I saw what he did. Yeah. I saw Dot One. That's what that means. Yeah. So I started watching it. I made it 45 minutes into it. Congratulations. And hated every single moment of it. So you can imagine how excited I was to see this. I'm going to guess you weren't excited at all. No surprise. This one was also horrible, but I could not escape because I was already in the cinema. You were in the theater. You paid your money. It was sheer torture. Oh, did we ever pay? Awesome.

[00:09:38] Can't wait to hear about that. Yeah. That may be Bryce's rage this week. That was actually funny that I made it. It was very funny. It was sheer torture watching this bloated and boring portrait of a diamond heist that could not and would not happen in any possible way that they portrayed it. On top of that, everything happens by convenience. And I'm guessing maybe luck, but I don't know if luck is a thing or happenstance or fill in a word.

[00:10:08] Go to chat. Everyone who's listening, just stop the podcast. Go to chat GPT and type in the word convenience and happenstance. And then whatever those words are, that's what happens in this movie. They had, in particular, here's one that I really liked. Yeah. They had two members that was part of their den of thieves that quit. They just quit the gang. Yeah. And they kept the plan exactly the same, Murray. They didn't change the plan.

[00:10:37] They didn't fill it in. So imagine you've got heisters who are all evildoers. All their jobs. And bad guys. And two of them to say, you know what? We're going to quit. Now, what are the chances that them quitting isn't going to come back later in the movie? Probably 0% chance, right? Zero. Yeah. I'm with you. 0%. I'm going 0%, Murray. But then I saw the movie. They always come back. Yeah. Oh, they came back.

[00:11:07] Screw things up at the end. Yeah. And the whole heist itself was so unbelievable and ludicrous. And ludicrous wasn't even in this. I can't even start in on how did this idiotic make-believe heist actually happen? Did I mention it was 2 hours and 24 minutes of sheer, boring, torturous rage? So this was so completely horrible.

[00:11:33] I pray to the movie gods who create movie heist magic to please never revive this piece of shit series. After watching it. But they left it open for a third one. Of course they did. I was wondering where... Gerard always comes back. Oh, God. Does he ever... Yeah. He always comes back. So the thing is, were they trying to create a Fast and the Furious franchise?

[00:11:55] But instead of young, hot people, they use old, overweight, unlikable people with no character development. But an introduction to what seems like every single location in Europe. Yeah, they were in a lot of locations. They went everywhere. They went everywhere in Europe. It was like a tour guy. So that was budget. Yeah. And I have some unpacking.

[00:12:22] But this was so, so, so horrible. And when Bryce and I went and saw Young Werther, which we're going to talk about very closely, I thought there's no way that there's anything this week that we've seen that will come close to that. But Den of Thieves 2 or Dot 2. Oh, so much worse.

[00:12:45] Or Dot 2. Or Dot 2. Oh, so much worse. Gerard Butler. So usually I go into these movies.

[00:13:14] Well, he can. And he used to be able to. I go into these movies. And because I do think that Gerard Butler is a good actor. Has talent. And I think he does have some talent somewhere. I always rate these movies on the Gerard Butler curve. But he is so god-awful in this that the Gerard Butler curve is gone. I'm sorry, Gerard Butler.

[00:13:42] You are in Liam Neeson territory now. And I can't rate you on a curve. And that's why I can't do a Liam Neeson curve now. Because I don't believe he's any good anymore. He's done. What are you talking about? He was great in the last movie we saw him in. I liked his last one. He was fantastic in it. What was he in? He was in that one where he lost his memory. No, he wasn't. What was the last one he did? We liked it. He was losing his memory. He had the girlfriend that was kind of there. We didn't like it.

[00:14:12] Yes, we did. We gave it a map. Both of us. We actually gave a Neeson movie a map. Yes, 100%. It was a good movie. Shocked the hell out of me. It was a very good movie. Okay, so I've got like a mental block when it comes to him. Apparently you do. Anyway, Gerard Butler is so bad in this that the curve is gone. This is nothing but a rage. I could sit here and pile on to what you said, but you covered everything. I mean, there's just so many ridiculous coincidences in this.

[00:14:40] There's one part where they're speeding up the side of this mountain road and like going winding in and out and all over the place. And then they just happen to have an accident at the perfect place where when the bad guys get out of the car, there's some guys just waiting up on top of the mountain and they gun them down. How did they know that that's where this was all going to happen? It's impossible. It's ridiculous. This whole movie was ridiculous.

[00:15:08] And you could go on and on with every single scene. And it's not fun ridiculous. It's infuriating and ridiculous. This was a hard watch because it was so awful. And O'Shea Jackson Jr., I actually thought that you were okay too for the longest time. Don't know who that is. You are awful. No, I mean. He's Ice Cube's son. Oh, okay. I mean in life, who is he? Ice Cube's son. Oh, really? He's his kid. Yeah.

[00:15:38] Legitimately. Okay. And he's an actor apparently. Yes. And he's okay. And he was great in the first movie he was in, the Compton, whatever. Straight Outta Compton. Straight Outta Compton. Yeah, but that was serious. So good in that. But yeah. I think they wanted this because there was no comedy in this. Oh, they were trying. Were they? Oh, yeah. What? Yeah. They were trying to make us laugh, Jim. Not one person in the whole movie. They were trying to make us laugh. The whole movie. And we didn't. Nobody laughed.

[00:16:08] They were trying to give us some tremendous action sequences that would have us on the edge of our seat. And they didn't. They tried. They really did try hard. They just. What? Nobody in this had any talent to actually achieve what they were trying to do. This was an awful movie. It's a hard, hard rage. And it's one of the worst things that I've seen in like two years. Yes. Like if this was released on the last day of 2024, it would have been number.

[00:16:35] It would have, it would have, Bad Boys, Ride or Die was so much better than this. Yes. It was the worst movie I had seen in like two years. No. But not anymore. I'm sorry. Bad Boys. Bad Boys. Every Bad Boys movie is worse than anything else that's ever made. I don't know. Okay. I just have a couple of things I have to say. Okay. So there's a scene where Gerard Butler gets locked into the diamond vault thing or whatever. Yes.

[00:17:04] And he's running all over, running all over the building. And of course, they kind of set you up for, for all this, you know, this is how it's high security and every single thing. It's so high security. Yeah. And everything they do. First off, none of the security is real and none of it would happen like it happened. And it's like, they have this green and red and you can go green and red, but then when he gets loose. Because the cameras only cycle through every few seconds. Yeah. So you just got to time it right. Yes, exactly.

[00:17:31] But then when, when, when Gerard Neeson goes and runs around the facility, it's like, he's just running everywhere. Well, he's running. And then he escapes. Marie, get this. But there's an explanation, Jim. It's because even though they've got the cameras going and the guy can radio to everybody and you go, okay, he's there. The one guy that was looking at the cameras, he left the room. So now there's no one looking at the cameras, telling them where Gerard is.

[00:18:00] But here's the best thing about it. He escaped. Because that makes sense. He jumps, he jumps out of a second floor window. It's like, well, if you can jump out of a second floor window, can't you jump into a second floor? Why didn't they go through all, why did they go through all this? They all should have just jumped out of the second floor window. Exactly. And they'd all run it easy. They would all put him in front. This was such a stupid movie. I hated this. And then they put a love interest in there. And so they've got Gerard Butler. Oh my God.

[00:18:27] They've got Gerard Butler, bloated, greasy. Like he looked like, you know, the greasy strangler? He looked like the greasy strangler. Only he was fat. And grosser. And grosser. So, and then this, in quotes from Gerard Butler, a model. Yeah. She looks like a model. She looks like a model. I don't know. And then they instantly got some love connection. The girl in the trailer? Yeah. I think so. No.

[00:18:57] Yes, Marie. Yes. No. Yeah. But you know what? How they believed a cop was actually on their side because he did drugs with them? That was what convinced them. That's what convinced them. So they knew he was a cop. Yes. But they brought him in on this heist because he did some drugs. And that proved that he wasn't a cop. Because cops would never do drugs. Because they would never do that. No, they would never. Especially if they're undercover. No.

[00:19:24] By the way, there's, spoiler alert, Gerard Butler's like setting this up the whole time. He's not actually part of the heist. He's just setting them up so he can get to the big wig at the end. And I'm telling you this so that you won't go watch this bloody movie. Yes. Don't be like us and support this bloody movie by giving them money. I feel dirty for the fact that I didn't give them like the usual 10 bucks. I gave them like. Well, hold on. Save that for later. All right. I can't wait to hear that one.

[00:19:53] The only thing better is if we would have got to see it in X. There you go. All right. Boy, you nailed that one, Murray. I was waiting for you to stop talking. Yeah. One third of our podcast. I'm terrible. I'm terrible. That really was. It made me so angry that movie. Me too. Imagine that. All right. Better Man. Yes.

[00:20:19] Better Man is the latest project from The Greatest Showman director, Michael Gracie. Didn't you love The Greatest Showman? I didn't. Yes, exactly. You hated it. Didn't like it at all. I'm just saying. Okay. That's who this guy is. Yeah. If you're wondering, who is this Michael Gracie? Where did he come from? The guy that directed this Better Man movie. He's the guy that directed The Greatest Showman. Good thing. So, I mean, in The Greatest Showman, he proved that he can direct spectacle. There's no question of that.

[00:20:48] But, I don't know. Anyways. That movie was all spectacle. It was all spectacle. So, this is the story of Robbie Williams. Now, if you're like me, you might respond, Robbie who? But, apparently, if you're from the UK, he's a well-known pop star.

[00:21:16] He was in a British boy band by the name of Take That. Never heard of them either? All right. But, you know, let's move on. And then, so, we proceed. Apparently, he proceeded to have a successful solo career as well. He wasn't just in the boy band. No. This is all new to me because I didn't know. Of course. Go figure. I don't know any of this. So, the film starts with a voiceover by William stating,

[00:21:43] I want to show you how I really see myself. And, I guess, how he sees himself, apparently, is as a CGI monkey. Which is odd. Why would you see yourself as a CGI monkey? So, we're not really off to a great start. CGI monkeys are pretty evolved. So, more accurately, he is referred to himself as a little less evolved in past interviews. And, hence, sees himself as a performing monkey of sorts.

[00:22:12] And, I guess I can buy that. Now, this premise of taking a pop star and telling his life story reimagined as a talking, singing, dancing monkey sounds like this should be a total disaster. Yes. Like, this is like the worst idea in the history of movies. Remember when we watched the trailer? What we thought? Exactly. And, yet. He had our asses for two hours. He did.

[00:22:42] And, yet, it isn't. Is it ridiculous? Yes. But, so was Robbie. And, the over-the-top visuals set to the overindulgent songs just work.

[00:22:53] The sequence where one of his hits, I guess, I never heard it, rock DJ plays, which I would never listen to it on its own, works tremendously as we watch this boy band take that rise to prominence in the British pop scene all in the confines of this one song. With multiple costume changes and hundreds of dancers and seamless camera work. It is an amazing scene to watch.

[00:23:21] And, it's got an energy like you wouldn't believe. And, and through, um, and while through it all, we should be quite, this Robbie guy, he should be quite unlikable. And, it's, I'll be honest, for some reason it's just hard not to like him as his upfront brashness is a front to the fact that he felt he wasn't meant for or even quite deserved the fame that he garnered.

[00:23:49] And, that kind of makes him a little more human. It kind of makes him more likable. Like, I want to hate him. I think the contrast. But, I didn't. And, I kind of believed the schlep that they were feeding me. I just did. Maybe I was just buying in and I was in a good mood. But, I believe it. Yeah. Well, you know, I think the contrast that they show him. Because, he is pretty much a dick to most people. To everybody. Except his gran. Yeah. And his mom. Exactly.

[00:24:17] And, they show them together a lot too. So, I think that's a good balance. That combined with it all. Because, you see, inside him somewhere there's a good person. He just can't seem to get that in. And, that's the thing about this movie. We kind of see him at his worst. Worst. Whether he's dealing with people. Or, his drug addiction. Or, whatever it may be. But, in seeing him at his worst and its lowest. It almost makes him more of a sympathetic character for me. Especially when we see him at his lowest.

[00:24:45] And, he kind of opens us up in this movie to all the crap. And, he realizes that what a dick he was. So, it's almost a redemption type deal here. Where I'm like, you know what? You're alright. So, I mean, come on. How can you not feel for a guy who's been reduced to snorting lines of coke while crying. And, wearing some weird fat sucking vacuum suit. Yeah. How can you not feel for that guy? I want that suit.

[00:25:16] So, there's so many visuals in this that I've never seen before. I mean, have you ever seen a chimpanzee dressed in human clothes getting a handjob from a groupie? Nope. Nope. I've never seen that in a movie. Sounds fascinating. It really is. So, this story of a monkey boy filled with ambition that transforms into a monkey man whose insecurity is almost his downfall.

[00:25:44] But, in a weird way, fuels his desire to succeed despite his self-perception. All set to extravagance like you've never seen before. Make for one heck of an entertaining film. I love this film. I know you did. It was Mondo. Yeah. I knew you would. I just... Every single scene in this... And, it has an energy like you've never...

[00:26:11] And, it goes from really frenetic energy and then it brings it down when it's got to get a little bit emotional. And, then it goes back up. And, then it brings it back down. And, the way that this movie flowed for me was perfect. I had never heard of this guy before. I do not even like the songs that are in this movie. But, in the movie with what's going on, it all works. I was tremendously entertained. And, it's funny.

[00:26:39] There are so many funny bits in this movie too. This is one of the... This, you know... This... They've reimagined the biopic. I've never seen anything like it in my life. I loved it. This was Mondo. Nice. Well, let me tell you what I thought of. Better. Man. So, there is one good thing about portraying Robbie Williams as a monkey Murray. You can tell which one he is. Yeah. For the whole movie. Yeah, you always know who he is.

[00:27:09] Yep. Yes, I understand there is a point to this. Because, Bryce kept asking me if I understood the point. And, I said... I didn't say I understand the point. I completely understand the point. I can't believe you're saying what you're saying when you know what the point was. Yes, I know. But, otherwise, I found it distracting pretty much the time to see him as a monkey. No. Because, then you couldn't have those awesome scenes where he fights his inner demons. Where he got a handjob as a monkey. Yeah. Hey, I wasn't complaining.

[00:27:38] But, I like handjobs no matter who's getting them. Okay. So, like most biopic picks, this puts a lot of things conveniently together to tell the story. Yes. They are crafting. Yes. Although, at the same time, the story they are telling is interesting. Ties into the film a musical with the dancing and the singing and the choreography. Creating spectacles like dance sequences a few times.

[00:28:04] But, then they slowly remove those. Yes. As the story unfolds, which kind of left me wondering where they went. Or, maybe they ran out of money for more spectacle, which is what I believe. Ah. Because this movie isn't making enough money. They spent $110 million on it to make it. And, if you're going to keep spectacle in the movie. And, I know Bryce may have an argument for this. And, we can talk about it later. No.

[00:28:32] But, if you're going to have spectacle, keep the spectacle. Marie, they had these amazing dance sequences. No. They had two of them. Yes. And, then they just kind of stopped. And, it wasn't when he started to open up. They didn't hold back in the actual language. Nudity. And, all that would make this a rated R film. The dialogue was very natural to what I could imagine for foul-mouthed rock stars to behave.

[00:28:59] There was a bit of a weird balance to the film. In that, at times, it has soul and emotion. And, then at other times, it's trying to be something else. It is a biopic. Or, maybe it's a musical. The answer is yes. It's both. The editing and the transitions from scene to scene was exceptionally well-crafted. And, took us places many times unexpected.

[00:29:24] And, really, those transitions were really what told us what was actually going on inside Robbie's head. Which was mostly self-deprecating and victimizing. I feel if you are a Robbie Williams fan, you will absolutely love this film. Me? I'm not a fan of Robbie Williams. In fact, I maybe had heard one song of his before I saw this movie. Except for the one you tried to play me last week. It was like, this is awful. Turn it off.

[00:29:54] I'm sure you've heard his biggest hit. What's his biggest hit? Angels. That was his first big hit. Yeah. We didn't. I'd never heard Angels. I'm sure it was in the movie at some point. Probably. Yeah. And, I'm still not a fan of his music. But, I did gain more respect for him than I thought I would when I saw the trailer. I felt this film was too long and needed some editing. Oh. But, overall, I actually was very, very, very entertained throughout this film. It's original.

[00:30:20] It really is a musical telling his life tied to it that fit well with the whole story. It's fun. I really, really, really like this. It's a well-crafted piece of cinema. It's a very well-crafted film. It was meh for me because those waves you're talking about with choppiness, I... I thought they were perfect. No. I felt, if you're going to make a spectacle movie... But, it wasn't all spectacle. I know it wasn't all spectacle. So, you can't...

[00:30:49] There's no such thing as all spectacle, Jim. So, okay. It's still his life. No. Okay. So, here's my point. Mm-hmm. When you see musicals... Yes. Okay? And they have singing and dancing numbers in them. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, then have them throughout the whole fucking movie. Okay. Because they took them out. They could have had singing and dancing in a bunch of different scenes. He never did. I think that if you had that, that would have got... Well, then you only needed... I would have been exhausted. Yeah. Exactly. I don't... I want to be exhausted.

[00:31:19] This movie should have exhausted me. No. Stop. Because it was an emotional journey that we went on with Robbie. But, the most important thing about this movie, Marie, is... And I haven't done this in a long time. There is a very best line in this entire movie. And it goes... Yes. Then they all fit snugly in Gary. Because when they were in the boy band... What's the name of the boy band? Is that what the name of the boy band is? All that. All that.

[00:31:49] Was that the name of the boy band? No, take that. Take that. Take that. Something that. So, they had made these babushka dolls. And the guy's explaining it to the guy. There was a lot of double entendres in this movie. That's right. And the humor was really well done. It was a fun movie. I would highly recommend people see this at home and on a big screen. And watch it with an intermission. Because it's two hours and 15 minutes. And it needed to be two hours or less. Totally.

[00:32:20] Do you know what the one problem I had with this? Is ever since we saw it... Yes. I can't get that stupid All Saints song out of my head. Never ever have I ever felt so low. When you gonna take me out of this black hole. Never ever have I ever felt so bad. Was that the number one song? The way I'm feeling. Yes. You got me feeling really bad. Oh, God. See, I never heard of All Saints either. Oh, I heard of them.

[00:32:50] Because that song was big here. Was it? It was. It was very big. Not for me. Another UK group. It was indeed. Well, his girlfriend was one of the bandmates. She was one. Yeah. She ended up marrying an Oasis boy. Of course. It's dead. Is that what happened? Yes. Sure, why not? You didn't see that when she went off with... Was it Liam or whatever the other Gallagher is? Noah? I don't know. What? Yes!

[00:33:20] No, I don't think of a thing. Did she break them up? No. Because they broke up. No, Robbie kind of... Robbie breaks up everything. Yeah, he kind of destroys everything. He's not good at the relationships. Although I have a feeling he's better now. I think he's still married, yeah. Well, I actually have things to unpack, even though I never saw it. Okay. Just a little, you know, because... Because we never knew. Useless tidbits. First of all, yeah, no, I'm not a Robbie Williams fan. I know who he is because I watch UK TV.

[00:33:50] And he was recently on the UK talk show that I watch promoting this, talking about it. And yeah, he said this was basically the worst part of his life. When the movie ends, like whatever the time period is, he became boring after that. And since then, he's been on the straight and narrow. No drinking, no drugs. He's been happily married. He has kids, the whole thing. But this was like the low point of his life. So he chose to make this out of a movie. Yeah.

[00:34:18] He has a net worth of $300 million. He's one of the best-selling British artists of all time. 75 million records worldwide. Once set a world record where he sold 1.6 million Contra tickets in a single day. I'm assuming it wasn't just one venue. And yeah, he's still around. But yeah, he's broken all the records for UK. Which is kind of funny. You would think that this movie would have more people going to it then. Well, UK, I'm pretty sure it probably made a ton of money.

[00:34:48] Yeah, it hasn't. Like worldwide gross, this has not sold a lot of tickets. I don't know if he hasn't come out there yet. But yeah, so whether you like his music or not, granted it's a good movie. You know what? I don't like his music. And I still don't really know any of it. But I would highly recommend people see this. I only know the one song and it was like his biggest hit. Because I hear it all the time. And that's one of those weird things, right? Like normally when we see a biopic or a documentary about a musician, it can turn us on to... Like it's turned us on to some bands we'd never heard of before.

[00:35:17] That's the weird thing about this movie is that it definitely hasn't done that at all. No. But the music in the movie was effective. But it still doesn't make me want to listen to it other than watching them. Like I'll probably watch this movie again at some point. And it's funny because the versions we got in the movie are original for the movie. For the movie, yeah. Because they changed the tone of the songs to fit the movie. So yeah. No, this was a good, good... It was good. I really enjoyed this. Yeah, I did too.

[00:35:47] I can't believe how much I enjoyed it. I did not love it. I liked it a lot. You also can't believe how much you enjoyed it though. I did, yeah. Well, I thought I was going to hate this. I thought you were going to hate it too. You and me both. Like I went in this ready to get my hate on and I was like, wow, this is... I had a raging hate boner on for this until it started. Until it started. I just figured the talking monkey might turn you guys around. Yeah. Apparently you did. Well, a hand job for a monkey turned Bryce around. There you go. I'm just saying, I've never seen that before. Well, I haven't seen someone be a monkey before.

[00:36:15] I've never seen a groupie give a hand job to a monkey. Yeah. Well. And you still have it. Because it was a CGI monkey. Yeah, well. It was a CGI. She was giving a hand job to X's and O's. Probably him. Or Zeros and Ones or whatever they're called. It's probably him in a suit with a CGI. Maybe. I doubt it. I would definitely have put the suit on for that scene. Yeah, I would have wore that suit. Okay, so the last movie we're going to talk about, that we are going to talk about,

[00:36:44] is a movie called Young Werther. And as Murray's already alluded to, it was not about Werther's candies, which would have made it a fantastic movie. This is supposed to be based on an 1877 book. Yeah. It takes place in Toronto. And nothing the characters do or say make any sense through the entire film. It is somewhat a love story, but with all unlikable people doing things that make no sense.

[00:37:13] And I hated everything that happened in this movie. So she can't go to school. She has to take care of her six siblings, Murray, but owns a mansion in downtown Toronto. Her job, I think, is going to board meetings, which we never see her do, that are somewhere. I don't know. Werther is independently wealthy, and his friend Paul is what? Through the whole movie, I'm going,

[00:37:43] what is Paul's purpose? It's just a guy. Yeah. Werther gets a job to impress this girl, and Paul, his friend. So get this. I don't even know the time span this is, but I think it was over the summer. So he gets a job, and his friend Paul comes with him as emotional support. And then his friend Paul doesn't go outside, Murray, because he's a germaphobe. Yes. So the whole movie is following Werther around as he's trying to hit on this girl

[00:38:11] that has a fiance. And ultimately, his friend Paul just sits in the hotel room. And so every once in a while, he'll go back to his hotel room, and you'll see Paul. And you're like, dude, really? You're going to sit here? Paul eventually came out. Yeah. Eventually out, when he got hooked up with a chick. Mm-hmm. So he didn't really come out, come out. He just came out. He just came out of the hotel room. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. So,

[00:38:39] but there's one important part of this story. Oh, there was an important part? That, yeah. When we first started watching this, we're like 15 minutes into this film, Murray. Yes. And we decided to come to an agreement. After seeing Scott Thompson in this. Yes, I saw he was in it. Yes. We decided if this could get all five kids in the hall in this, No. it would definitely make it to Armando. But,

[00:39:08] by the time we got to the end of this movie, there was still only... They haven't done stuff together in a long time. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? They just remade the show. Outside of kids in the hall. Oh. Acting outside of that. Yeah. They only do things together very much. Well, they just released another season of kids in the hall, which was awesome. Yeah. So, so there was one kids in the hall. So five out of five, it would have been if they had five. So, because they only had one kids in the hall, this was like a one out of five,

[00:39:37] which makes it a rage. Of course. I don't even know where to start. I didn't... I'm sorry. All the movies that take a 18th century book and... I guess it would be a... Update it? Yeah. And I... And make it... And they... I didn't... This was just awful. I don't even know what to say. I honestly, I don't even know where to start. It was even .2 awful. I mean, it...

[00:40:06] None of the characters were believable. Yeah. I... I... I just don't understand. Like, it's... The whole concept of this story, I think, should have been left in the 1800s. Yeah. I mean... Because he's not... He's not really likable. No. She's not likable. She's not likable. She can't act. He can't... I mean, the acting was... I didn't need to go see the movie. Yeah. No. The guy who plays Werther is a terrible actor.

[00:40:35] Douglas Booth is not good. He's not entertaining. I heard of him. Alison Pill sometimes is okay, but she was not good in this. No. We got... We got... We got Iris Apatow, though. Yeah. Get to see... The Apatows are still... Apatow's kid. Oh, is that Judd's kid? That's Judd's kid. Yeah. He's old enough to have a kid who acts. Yeah. Well, they were both in that Adam Sandler funny people thing. It's got Adam Sandler. I never saw it. I like Adam Sandler. Trust me.

[00:41:05] Yeah, we know you do. Adam Sandler's kid. I haven't even seen Adam Gill. In dramatic roles? Yes. Dramatic roles. In dramatic roles, he's good, and he's also good. No. No, he's not funny. What about Hubie Halloween? Hubie Halloween is like the worst thing that came out that year. Whatever. If it came into cinemas, it would have made my top five for worst movies that year. Oh, that's harsh. Because it's horrible. Can we talk about Hubie Halloween? It was so much better than this. No, it wasn't. This was equally horrible as Hubie Halloween. You say that Young Werther

[00:41:35] is equally horrible to Hubie Halloween? I liked Young Werther better than Hubie Halloween. Oh, that doesn't even make any sense. No, it's the absolute truth. Because I got Scott Thompson in Young Werther, which was something I liked. It was weird in it. And Steve Buscemi was in Hubie Halloween, and I liked Steve Buscemi in Hubie Halloween. That was the only thing that was good in those two movies. There you go. Well, Scott Thompson wasn't even good in this. He was just Scott. He was the best thing in it. Yeah, that's probably true. There you go. It's not saying much.

[00:42:04] This was a rage. I don't want to talk about it. It's just depressing me. Shut up. Sounds like you guys had fun. Yeah, we did. We did for a bit. All righty. Are you ready? I'm ready for this. I was born ready. Yeah, I don't know if you're ready. You might fall asleep. This is a long one. I'm not talking about the Golden Globes

[00:42:34] because it was so long ago I forgot to even want anything. It was like two weeks ago. So many weeks ago. I hesitated doing this because Jim basically already covered it. Okay. But with 2024's crappiest movies behind us, it's time to look forward to or not all of the heaping piles of dung that Hollywood is going to throw at us this year. It's not all bad, but I have to start at the bottom, of course. Spoiler alert, there are a lot of remakes and sequels.

[00:43:03] So hold on to your butts. That doesn't sound right. That's not what Hollywood does. Hollywood's so original. January's pretty much done, so let's start with February. We have the first big superhero film of the year, the new Captain America with Harrison Ford as the Red Hulk. What is he, 90 now? Is that the name of that character, the Red Hulk? Yeah, it's the Red Hulk. He's like the evil version of the Hulk. I don't know how you pronounce it. And they call it Red Hulk? Red Hulk. He's in the comics. Well, that's dumb. There's also a new Romeo and Juliet with Rebel Wilson.

[00:43:33] Oh, that'll be good. Yeah. And Last Breath. Is James Corden her boyfriend? Maybe. Last Breath is an underwater diver movie with Woody Harrelson and Simu Liu. Yeah, that's right. I saw the trailer. Yeah, it doesn't look great. But we also have Ki-Hu Kwan kicking ass in Love Hurts. Yeah, that might be fun. And a new Paddington movie for Jim. I love Paddington. Finally, there's For me too. An Elijah Wood horror film. What?

[00:44:01] About a possessed toy monkey that kills. Is it like Monkey Shines, a remake? I don't know. I think it's called The Monkey. I don't know. Yeah, no. The Monkey is as Monkey Shines. Yeah. It's the short story The Monkey from Monkey Shines. There you go. Anyway. Oh, so we're going to get your remake of George Romero's Monkey Shines? Sure. It's got Elijah Wood in it. With Elijah Wood? My man? I guess so. March, we have guaranteed horrible Snow White remake with the non-talented non-Caucasian

[00:44:30] Rachel Ziegler. There's also a new Jason Statham action flick where he's a working man. And we also have the spy thriller Black Bag with Cate Blanchett and Michael Fosbacher. Yeah, that's going to be awful. Which might be good. No. Hell, there's a bond in it so you never know. No. But I'm sure the one you guys are looking forward to is Mickey 17. Absolutely. Starring many versions of Robert Pattinson. It's going to be so good.

[00:44:59] Finally, there's the guy from The Boys starring in Novocaine. Yeah, Novocaine looks interesting. Dude who feels no pain except when they kidnap his girl. Yeah, it might be fun. We saw the trailer of that. He's in another movie too. I just don't know from the bulls. That looks okay too. Oh yeah, is he in he's in a movie you skipped companion which I think looks really good. April, we have one of Bryce's most anticipated films of the year. Is it? The Accountant 2. Duh. With his

[00:45:28] finest actor of our generation in quotes. That's true but I bet you Jim's looking forward to it more than I am. That's a hard pass for me. We also have Rami Malek's new film where he plays a man out for revenge in The Amateur. Yeah. Have you seen the trailer? Oh yeah, FYI, he wrote this one too. I think I'm going to have some problems with this one. Then of course there's the Minecraft movie Nobody Asked For with Jason Momoa and Jack Black. Saddle up, kitties. What about

[00:45:58] Final Destination Bloodlines? That's coming. Oh, okay. Sorry. I haven't got there yet. Rounding out the month are a couple horror films. Another exorcism movie with Al Pacino called The Ritual and another Cabin in the Woods type movie called Until Dawn. Who knows what those ones are. Alright, coming to May. Start of the summer movie season. Okay. AKA blockbusters. we have The Final Mission Impossible. Yes!

[00:46:28] Maybe one of us is looking forward to it. I know I am. I sure am not. There's another superhero movie, Thunderbolts. Thunderbolts! With all the sidekicks from the other movies. I think it'll be fun. Final Destinations getting a remake or a sequel whatever it is. I think it's a sequel and it looks awesome. Then there's The New Karate Kid with Daniel-san beating Jackie Chan. Can we just say how terrible the franchise that is Final Destination is? Oh, I love it. After I watched the first one everyone after that

[00:46:57] had diminishing returns. Hey, death has a plan, Jim. That's right. Death has a plan. And you can't stop death. They should have died after the first season. You can't stop death. That's right. It could stop me from seeing this. Okay, and we also have a live action Lilo and Stitch. Mmm. Whoopee. Is that a thing? Yes, it's coming out. It's a live action. Oh, stop it. Wait, is it live action CGI? I don't know. Yes, it is. Finally, for Jim,

[00:47:27] we have Clowns in a Cornfield. That sounds excellent. Starring Will Sasso. Oh! It's listed as a horror film. Nice! Finally, you can't get enough of if you didn't get enough of Pharrell Williams, we also have Golden. More about his life. You know what? No Legos this time, I don't think. Legos. Just give me more Pharrell. Okay, just in time for summer, we have in June the John Wick spin-off ballerina. Mmm. That isn't enough for my boy Jim. There's 28 years later.

[00:47:57] Yes! Yes, I'm looking for that. I am so excited about this. Then there's a new Bruckheimer racing flick about Formula One. Sounds terrible. Brad Pitt. F1. Sounds horrible. And there's a Megan sequel. Megan 2.0. Another live action cartoon, How to Train Your Dragon. Yeah, why? Because they take them all. Stop it! Here we go. In July, the summer sequel, starting with the new Jurassic Park. Rebirth! Same dinosaurs,

[00:48:26] but with ScarJo. I know what you did last summer is back. Why? There's a new Fantastic Four. Yes! Because the last two versions did so well. It's going to be so good. Pretty sure they're only doing it to introduce Robert Downey Jr. as Doctor Doom, which they already did. Robert Downey Jr.? He's Iron Man. Iron Man's dead. Now he's Doctor Doom, apparently. How can he be Doctor Doom when he's already Iron Man? Ask Kevin Feige. Is Iron Man Doctor Doom? Apparently. Apparently. I don't know,

[00:48:55] but he's the new bad guy. How are they going to spring that? I can't wait to watch this to see how Iron Man becomes Doctor Doom. I don't know if he's going to be in this one, but it'll show up eventually. I have no interest in any of this. It does have Pedro Pascal in it as the main dude. You mean Oscar Isaac slash Pedro Pascal? Yeah, one of them. No. You're the only one that mixes them up, Jim. The hair. For the kiddies, we have Rihanna in the Smurfs musical. Smurfs. Yeah, that'll be good. Finally, a movie I want no part of. James Gunn reboots the DCU.

[00:49:25] Yes, Superman. The trailer looks amazing. It looks so good. It's got Nathan Fillion as a Green Lantern. What? This is all over Murray. Nicholas Holt as Luther. This was made for you. Yes. And awesome characters named Mr. Terrific, Metamorpho, and Hawkgirl. Oh, that sounds like us three. But Crypto the dog. So, yeah. No, sorry. No thanks. What? All I need to see was Nathan Fillion's hairdo to turn me off of that. What are you talking about? You love Nathan Fillion. He's your boy.

[00:49:55] But not in this. Okay. Okay. Dog Days of Summer in August starts with a new naked gun featuring Liam Neeser. What? As Frank Drebin. No way. Wait. No way. It's also got That might be the worst idea in the history. It's also got Pamela Anderson. Oh, dear lord. And wrestler Cody Rhodes. Okay. And Busta Rhymes. Busta Rhymes.

[00:50:24] Produced by Seth MacFarlane. Oh, well, then it'll be good. Well, then it's gonna be good. Sure, it's gonna be top notch. Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis are back with Freakier Friday. Yeah, baby. Like 30 years later. I like it. Busta Rhymes. Oh, God. I'm sure it didn't need to be gay. Oh, nobody too might be okay. Does it still have money? Yeah. There's something called Mercy with Chris Pratt. Oh. Which seems like a copy of Minority Report. It's like a cop accused of a crime. Sounds bad.

[00:50:53] Probably. All right. We're into September. I don't want to watch. Season of horror movies. Yeah, I don't want to watch. There's a new Saw. Oh, that I want to watch. We never get enough of those. Every last Saw. And there's more. I have so high expectations going in every time and every time I'm so disappointed. And there's more Conjuring. Yeah, I don't need any more Conjuring. Maggie Gyllenhaal is back with another film, Bride. Okay. About the Bride of Frankenstein. Anything with Maggie Gyllenhaal. The shameless cast includes

[00:51:22] Christian Bale, Penelope Cruz, Jesse Buckley, Annette Bening, and her brother Jake. Jesse Buckley, Christian Bale, and... Penelope Cruz, Annette Bening, and Jake Gyllenhaal. And who was the first one? Maggie. Christian Bale. And Maggie Gyllenhaal. Maggie Gyllenhaal directs it. Okay, this is... Oh, she's just directing it? Yeah, she's directing it. Okay, I'm on board. Sign me up. I don't care that it's... Yeah, no. And if horror isn't your thing, there's Downton Abbey 3. Oh.

[00:51:50] This is also scary. What is happening right now? All right, October. Is this list going to ever end? Something for the range bag. One horror film. The Black Phone 2. I don't even remember The Black Phone. Because it wasn't that good. What's his name? Ethan... Yeah, it's Ethan Hawke. Of course, the real horror in October is the new Tron movie. Oh, fuck me. There's Mortal Kombat 2. Oh, my God. What? And a Michael Jackson film. Oh, my God.

[00:52:21] But what about... There's also a couple of weird ones. First one is called Roof Man with Channing Tatum and Peter Dinklage. Okay, I'm in for that. About a guy who robbed 60 McDonald's by climbing in from the roof and taking people hostage. Roof Man. I've never heard. Sign me up. Yeah. Finally, an R-rated animated film called Animal Friends, which I can't even find a trailer for, with Ryan Reynolds, Jason Momoa, Vince Vaughn, Aubrey Plaza, Maya Rudolph, and Little Rel. Sounds horrible. I'm still not sure about that one, but it's supposed to be

[00:52:49] an R-rated animated movie, so I might go to it. All right. All right, November. Time for the big ones. Of course, the highly anticipated part two of Wicked. What about the other part two that's coming out in October? What did I miss? Isn't it the Batman? No. They got pushed back. Did it? Yeah. Everybody knows that but you. There's a new Running Man with Hollywood's It Boy, Glenn Powell. Fuck. It's directed by Edgar Wright, but still not enough to make me want to ask you. What? Yeah. Why would Edgar Wright

[00:53:20] associate himself with Glenn Powell? He's remaking The Running Man and Glenn Powell is the star of it. Edgar Wright! What are you doing? Don't you remember his last movie wasn't great either? Yes, that's right. Also, a new Predator movie. Oh, dear Lord. But all is not lost for my podcast BFFs. Emma Stone and Yorgos Lanthimos are back again with Begonia. Nice. Jesse Plymouth is also in it. Yes. So at least she's Silverstone. What? She's in it too.

[00:53:50] You must be dating her or something. I don't know. All right. December, Happy Holidays. What about the other sequels supposed to come out in November? These are the important ones. I can't list them all. There's like 200 movies. Yeah, but this one's major. Now you see me three. This segment's already gone on for an hour. Yeah, that's major. Now you see me three. Whatever. Anyway. Plus Zootopia 2 is coming out. Uncle James has a gift for us. Another Avatar. Yes. That is going to be terrible.

[00:54:19] We also have Five Nights at Freddy's 2. Why? Can you stop this? A new Anaconda remake with Paul Rudd and Jack Black. So lots of treats for everyone. No. Of course, there are so many more. Some might be good. Some will suck. But through it all, we will rage about everything. Told you it was going to be long. And that was just a... And agonizing. That was a snippet of what's coming.

[00:54:50] So yeah. Welcome to 2025. That's going to sound pretty good. Temperature rising. Vision blurring. Rage taking over.

[00:55:02] I was going to say... Is your rage my list? Well, okay. Hold on here. I was going to say my rage is that Bryce made me go see Dot 2 in AVX.

[00:55:31] You saw it in AVX? Yes. We sure did. We sure did. It was funny. So he sent me the ticket and he was like, oh, by the way, we're going to AVX. And I went, what? Yeah, baby. So I paid $15 with my disc. Was it $15 or $18? I think it was like $17 or $18. It was more money. So like normal movie prices for everybody else. Yeah. Well, more than that. It was... Yeah. So that was going to be my rage. I paid about $17 at the theater.

[00:56:01] There's no discounts. The rage I really have now is Murray's list because that... I am not looking forward to this. Like... There'll be other stuff. That's not everything. There's a few good ones. Could you not have at least thrown in a couple of Korean films for me to be looking forward to? They weren't on the list. I'm sure they're coming out, but... There's not going to be a Korean sequel coming out. I can tell you that. Because you know what? Bong Joon-ho makes original movies. Mm-hmm. Sure does. That's my rage right there that Bong Joon-ho doesn't direct every movie.

[00:56:31] He needs to direct everything. All right then. And say no to all of the things that come out. Yes. No. No. Just say no. Just say no. Kids.

[00:57:14] This week... I mean, my rage is obviously going to have something to do with Den of Thieves 2 because it was so unbelievably awful. Let's go with the fact that Den of Thieves 2 was number one at the box office last weekend. Somehow, this movie took in $15 million and shame on all of you. me and Jim only went because we had to. What is everybody else's excuse? Yes. Just stop supporting this garbage.

[00:57:42] And if you liked it, what is wrong with you? I don't... I don't get it. This was not entertaining in any way. It's subjective. It's subjective. And I can always look at a movie and go, okay, I understand why you liked it maybe on that level or whatever. Coming from a different, you know, different way of looking at things. And that's fine. But this one, nobody can look at this movie and see anything but garbage. Yet, people do. It's...

[00:58:12] I'm just looking at Rotten Tomatoes right now and it should be like what? 3? 3% maybe? I'm reading it right now. And it's like 61%. I just gave... That's low for Rotten Tomatoes. I just gave it a 1 on IMDb. There you go. And it's still 6.6. Yeah, it makes no sense. On Rotten Tomatoes for the popcorn meter which is like the audience, they've got it at 79%. This should be at like negative 79%.

[00:58:42] At minimum, 4%. This is awful. Like, what are you... Who's watching this and saying that this is good? I've been going to all kinds of crap. Anyways, my rage is that so many bloody people went to this bloody movie that just is not worth seeing. And there's so many movies out there that are worth seeing. And what are you doing at this? Maybe not last weekend. Yeah. What are you doing at this? They should have gone to see Robbie Williams. That's right. They should have. Yep. That one wasn't on the list. I don't even made top five. Nope. It did not do well.

[00:59:11] We got a private screening of it and I couldn't believe it. I was like, what? So, very disappointing. We haven't had the list in a long time. There is one thing I just have to ask because I don't know if Marie has given out Mondo's lately

[00:59:41] to Gerard Butler. Probably not. Because I think Gerard Butler would be doubted. I think you're probably right. I mean, Murray's the only one that's going to Yeah, I don't know if I'd ever give him a rage. But yeah, I probably wouldn't have liked Den of Thieves. But if there was if there was two mehs back to back. Yeah, he says he'd never give him a rage. So that kind of Did I say that? I just said I probably wouldn't. Oh,

[01:00:11] okay. But if he also hasn't seen the movies. If I saw Den of Thieves, I might have given that a rage. We could at least we could at least get him on until Murray sees stuff. So we know Den of Thieves 2 was a rage. It was a rage. Mission Kandahar was the one you guys both gave it meh. Oh, wait. Murray gave Plane a Mondo. I like that one. Yeah, I love Plane. Yeah, he gave Plane a Mondo. Oh, that's it then. That's it. Didn't last long. Oh,

[01:00:40] that was a while ago. I gave Cop Shop a meh. So did I. I think Cop Shop was yeah, we're not saying that he can't make it. Oh, I know. I'm just saying that's the only that's the only that's the only movie that he's made in the last 10 that I gave him meh. No, you gave Mission Kandahar a meh. I think I saw that. Because it was part of the Gerard Butler curve. Oh, right. Mission Kandahar was your first Gerard Butler. I like that. Kandahar would have been a meh because it had that dude in it that I kind of liked. I like the Angel series. The guy on the motorcycle.

[01:01:09] He was cool. I liked him. Yeah. Ali Fazal as Kashi Nasir. He was good. But the movie was horrible. No, the movie was all right. And on the Gerard Butler curve, that makes it well, that makes it all right. But I'm telling you right now, Gerard Butler with your last effort, you no longer get rated on a curve. You're just like everybody else. Sorry, buddy. I thought you were a good actor, but you were not good in that.

[01:01:40] I find him entertaining as hell, but usually when he's being himself, like the interviews, he's a hell of a guy. Or when he's singing. Yeah, like he's singing too. I know you do. Who don't? No, I don't. No, I don't. Yeah, no, I like playing. That was only a couple years ago. That was horrible. That was so, oh God, that was awful. That was a movie where they like, they're shooting at him from like behind a, or they're in a truck and then they're all of a sudden, they're like a hundred yards down. I like, I like to fall in serious

[01:02:10] It's like a Flintstones episode. Yeah, then the thieves too, I probably would have given her. I was really hoping I could get him on the doubted list, but unfortunately not. Never know. Liam Neeson redeemed himself apparently last year, so you never know. In one man. Maybe, maybe Butler can do it too. You never know. He's got a long way to go. Yeah, no, I got nothing else. I'll have to work on something, I guess. I don't even have my list anymore. It disappeared. Along with everything else in this table.

[01:02:40] Yes. My list is somewhere. I don't know where it is. It's not in front of me. All right. Happy New Year, ragers. I know, it's been ages since you were treated to the sweet, angelic tones of your god of rage. It's your main man, Casey, and I'm back, kiddos. What's this? Six months of waiting has finally paid off and Bryce actually did his job and filled his bag of rage? Boy,

[01:03:09] I wonder if his day job allows him to be this unproductive for that long. Oh well, better late than never. Or is it better off dead? Well, that's probably what Jim will be thinking as he pulled the 1982 Kenny Rogers classic, and I ain't talking about chicken, six pack. Either way, I want my two dollars. This week, Jim and Bryce can rage or dare, or Casey. Now, let's check in with Jim and see if Kenny

[01:03:39] can act as well as he sings or as good as his corn muffins taste. My guess is never bet against the gambler, even though Jim may prefer that he stick to cooking. He picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille. The four hungry children and crops in the field. We had some good times. We've had some bad times. Yeah,

[01:04:09] thanks for that, Casey. That song will be stuck in my head. Casey, I love you so much. You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille. Okay, so I made it all the way to the end of this movie and didn't see Kenny Rogers making one piece of fried chicken. No. I thought Kenny Rogers was like Colonel Sanders. Nope. Wasn't he?

[01:04:39] No. White beard, white hair, southern boy makes chicken. That's not... They're the same person. They're not. They're totally the same person. I haven't heard what's his face, Colonel Sanders sing in a while because I think he's dead. I'm pretty sure he's dead. Actually, I think Kenny Rogers is also dead. They got famous acting being Colonel Sanders now. Is Kenny Rogers alive or dead? He's dead. No, he's dead. Really? When did he die? Three or four years ago. All right. So, well, maybe no chicken, but I got,

[01:05:08] and I'm putting in heavy quotes here, acting straight out of TV style acting school with canned music, canned dialogue, and canned everything. Well, it was almost like they wrote the title of this movie after structuring the cannedness of this. See what I did there? Title's called Six Pack. Yeah, cans. They come in cans. I got it. Right? So, Genius gym. You would think with Kenny Rogers' Chicken King,

[01:05:38] who also, I think, is a singer, you might think he might be embarrassed, and I'm putting in heavy quotes here, acting in this with such a horrible music score straight out of the Dukes of Hazzard episode. Hey, this is my Duke. The star is basically Kenny, who I think was a race car driver or was and then wasn't or he might still be, who gets his parts for his car stolen by some juvenile delinquents. Yes. They have a car chase.

[01:06:07] The kid's truck goes into the water. He saves their life, finds out that they're orphans, and the sheriff in town is like Boss Hogg, like in the Dukes of Hazzard. He's a bad guy. Yes. They throw him in jail. Then the kids who threaten to throw, who he threatened to throw them into jail, they break him out of jail for no reason at all. The story, of course, is smashed between some horrible child acting, more horrible soundtrack, more TV-themed music plot

[01:06:37] with Kenny and a six-pack of annoying kids who become his pit crew. Nice. Which is so believable. Where he keeps saying he don't want no kids, but still, they make a new family. The kids decide to leave town with this strange man, and he didn't even offer them cornbread or candy or even fried chicken. So, let's catch up. Kenny Rogers dines and dashes, almost kills six children,

[01:07:07] then breaks them out of, then they break him out of prison after committing valid crimes that he was in prison for, then he kidnaps children, then he goes to Jenny's house and back to his hometown to race cars. Of course, you gotta throw in a love interest because, you know, these kids obviously need a mom. Yes. Ultimately, I had no clue what message they were trying to tell us or how they got from scene to scene without a hard belief in children orphan movie magic.

[01:07:36] Other than, maybe crime pays. Kenny Rogers should stick to making chicken, and the 80s made-for-TV movie Dukes of Hazzard rip-off movies are a horrible, horrible, hard rage. But thank Jebus that one of the kids prayed at the end to help Brewster make it to the track on time, which he did, and they lived happily ever after, and I lived with the knowledge that I never want to see another Kenny Rogers,

[01:08:05] except in a glowing neon sign selling chicken and cornbread. Man, his cornbread is so good, too. Cornbread is so good, but this movie was not good. Yes. It was not good at all. Woo-hoo. Well, I feel you might have enjoyed it more if, say, I was beside you. If you were with me. I was invited. I was not invited. Yeah, so the reason I didn't invite you

[01:08:34] is because my fire stick is having issues, and I tried to down, to see if I could stream it, because you can't buy this anywhere. I imagine. So I'm trying to watch it, and every five seconds it was buffering. So I could, and that's the only way I could watch it. So I was like, I think it felt like seven hours long. I watched, I started watching it at 9 a.m. in the morning, and I finished at like midnight. At midnight.

[01:09:04] Nice. Because of the buffering on it. Well, I told you what to do, Jim, but you're like, I still don't know what I'm doing. So, give me a call while you've got your remote control in your hand, and we can fix it. Usually when I got my remote in my hand, I got my hand on, my other hand on some of the movies. I love these kind of movies, so I know I would have enjoyed it. You probably would have. Probably. You still like Duke some hazards. But Reynolds did what just like and called Stoker. All right, Jim, so what are you going to pick this week? Bryce and I are going to pull from Casey's bag

[01:09:34] of evil remakes. Yeah. I don't want to pull from Casey's bag. I don't like Casey's bag. That's the point. I can't even figure out how to open Casey's bag. It's a Ziploc. I know. Every way you do it, it locks it. Open, Jim. There's an arrow on the bag if you look at it. I'm already confused. Yes, I didn't invest in the high-priced brand name kind. All right, Bryce and I

[01:10:03] will be seeing. Are you ready for this? I am. It's something from 2011. Yes. And it's got a short name because my thumbnail covers up the entire title. Awesome. Oh, God. Book two? No. It is a remake. Surprise, surprise. It's Casey. Of course it's a remake. It's the 2011 version of Arthur. Oh, my God. What is that?

[01:10:33] Like Michael Brand or Russell Brand? That's his name. Michael, Russell, whatever. Russell Brand is Arthur. The original wasn't that great. No, the original was terrible. So this one ought to be good? No. It'll probably be worse. It will be. Nice. I have seen it. I don't particularly remember it, but that doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean it. Russell Brand's funny. Russell Brand can be. I have. No, he can't be. No, he can't be.

[01:11:03] He can be to the Greek. Yeah, whatever. Exactly. You don't have to invite me over for this one. All right. Russell Brand as Arthur in the remake of Arthur. That's very exciting. There you go. This won't be that bad. Yeah, sure. It won't be a six-pack, I can tell you that. No, he won't. Well, thanks, Ragers, for listening. Thanks to the extended Film Rage family you can find in our show notes. Thanks to Casey from the Nerdy Photographer for the voice of Rager Darren, our god of rage.

[01:11:33] Find us on social media everywhere at Film Rage YYC. Check out everything at Film Rage at Film Rage YYC.com including our merch site for Rubble and Tee Public. We're always going to make this a raging blast for all listeners, so please comment, like, subscribe, or send us emails to FilmRageCalgar at gmail.com to see terrible movies to fuel our rage. But no matter what you do, please, please, please, pretty, please, please, please make us rage. That's it for this week. Rage on! Rage on!