Episode 252 - All I Want is Pizza

[00:00:04] It's time to feel the rage Welcome to filmrage where we talk movies in theaters through classic blah blah blah In theaters streaming classic films as well. That's what it is. I don't need no stinking script put it away. Apparently you do

[00:00:23] Directors and actors beware as you cannot hide from the rage. My name is Bryson I'm part of part of part of the Film rage fire part of the filmrage crew which also includes Jim. Hey there Jim

[00:00:36] All I want you to shut up and also we have the merman flying the filmrage colors again I like when you're doing that merman shows the solidarity. That's what we're about one unit We is one if we just work together we can accomplish so much

[00:00:53] Thank you for showing up merman. Yeah, well and being prepared unlike Whatever so with the introductions out of the way Let's rage on Thanks to all have been supporting us if you love our independent podcast or in this in the case of this week

[00:01:17] Even if you just can barely stand it because obviously we're on our roll today But if you like our independent pod clap pod clasp pod class Crasping subscribe share give us a five-star rating on your listening platform or maybe on this episode

[00:01:35] Maybe just a four what be happy with a fort just don't turn us off or support us Join the filmrage community by joining our membership at buy me a coffee calm Ford slash film rage yyc if you cannot commit to a membership

[00:01:47] You can still buy us a movie rental and dare us to see a terrible film And we'll watch it if it played anywhere in a cinema in the world. It's not a kid's movie and

[00:01:58] It's anything else is that it I don't know if you're still listening just turn it off. It's not gonna get any better On that note let's get to raging Oh standing hmm. Oh, you know what this strains out everything do your thing? Swim Murray kids longer every week

[00:02:45] Swim Murray Done swim Murray swim Murray Swim swim swim swim Murray Shut up I'm gonna make this short what? Rage rage rage rage done What for everything you didn't even tell everything you didn't tell everybody what we saw doesn't matter. We'll find out in a minute

[00:03:11] That's how you do that prepared my ass All right, so we did see two movies did you did yeah Bryce and I saw two I Saw one. I protested against the other one he did Mmm, and the first one that we saw is called bad boys

[00:03:37] Run or die or die Mmm, and I just don't know why they just won't die did they die Nobody know somebody died. No, but they did my heart didn't my heart. I know what's the point of seeing it. I know

[00:03:51] Yeah, it was yeah. So yeah, what was this movie called bad boys ride? or die So I thought that this was a this must be the fifth one because the last one was bad boys for life So when that before and this would be the fifth one

[00:04:08] I thought there was not how they do things three if they if it wasn't then they should have made this one bad boys for Life, so there's there. They missed the boat immediately You're trying to apply logic which doesn't work. Yeah, they're this whole this whole

[00:04:23] Franchise like all the like all the names they give for all the fast enough here is movies that make no Okay, so here we go. There's bad boys Yeah, 1983 bad boys to bad boys to from 2003 yeah bad boys for life

[00:04:43] From 2020. So why would they make bad? Why wouldn't bad boys for life be the fourth one? Why wouldn't they save that title? But then there's another movie called bad boys from 1995 Oh wait bad boys from 1983 is Sean Penn. Yeah

[00:04:56] Bad boys from 1980 movie. That's actually pretty good movie. That's an excellent. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. That's a pretty good movie So there's only four that I can see that's what I'm saying Why did they why would they call the all to die?

[00:05:09] Why would why wouldn't they save bad boys for life till the fourth movie so they could call it for life? Here's a Here's a hint for you know cuz these fucking movies are stupid. Can I just make a statement?

[00:05:22] I am I am 100% convinced. Yes that this movie was not written by a human being I think this was chat GPC or GPT or GG whatever it's called

[00:05:34] I think this was a this was a computer generated script because there is there is no depth to anything that goes on There's nothing that's like there's no complexity. There's nothing everything's just superficial

[00:05:49] And I am convinced even the humor is that all the attempts at humor are just so benign That there's no way that anything but a computer program came up with this script. They have two guys listed as the writers

[00:06:03] There's no way that a human being wrote this script. This is the most bland garbage It's like okay. This is what an action movie is here are your two characters? We're gonna plug in the plots from the first three. Okay, go computer program

[00:06:17] See what you spit out. I'm convinced it's gotta be well Well who did who got the credit for this cuz that's that's kind of what I'm most curious about

[00:06:26] Well, who would want the credit? I don't think these people I would like to see a picture of these people cuz I don't think They exist. Well, there's three this is what they're not that there was two Okay, so Chris Bremner Will Beale and George Gallo

[00:06:43] Yeah, those three look like they'd get together in a room and write a script G-C-W almost GPT Anyways with that out of the way. This was more just garbage Like this franchise should have died a long time ago

[00:07:01] Detectives Lowry and Burnett. I don't understand how they're detective nothing. They do makes any sense You're gonna probably bring up the fact that detective Lowry what does he drive some some

[00:07:13] Some ridiculous Porsche. It's got to be worth more than he would make in two years. Yeah, so like I Did it everything so stupid? Where does it even take place is Miami? Yeah. Yeah, it's Miami. I believe it's Florida. Yeah, okay Every single person in this is awful

[00:07:32] Like every single person in this even your girl Tiff even my girl Tiff was unwatchable Yeah, I'm glad I protested this movie then well, she's not the only reason why you should have it

[00:07:43] She would be reason number three. I wouldn't see it. You know what? I didn't mind our mom Mondo that Armando is his his his bastard kid Yeah, Armando like as I walk down to this like guy has as a Mexican kid

[00:07:59] Yeah, yes Spanish kid or yeah, he's Puerto Rican whatever Cuban yeah, yeah, yeah Spanish or as apparently in one of these movies before he had relations with yeah There you go, then they and apparently this guy was in the like I don't remember any of these movies

[00:08:14] Well because I wasn't forgettable. I have never seen one We've seen we've seen all of them and we've seen them all in cinemas But what it is is that the moment that you walk out of these movies because there's no substance to any of them

[00:08:29] You instantly forget everything I've seen like there's nothing and there's this this is actually the least of them Like they're all terrible. Don't get me wrong, but this one like it is so unmemorable

[00:08:41] I'm having a tough time even talking about it because I don't know what I just want All I know is that I'm convinced that it was written by a computer Because there is there is it is devoid of any emotion whatsoever and

[00:08:55] The only thing that what there was one funny part in it that what absolutely I don't think was meant to be funny But it's just so ridiculous that it made me laugh in the first 15 minutes once and how was the end?

[00:09:06] I enjoyed this movie laughing at it. We were laughing at it, but there was still some enjoyment there Yeah, but the enjoyment just went away. There wasn't even anything to laugh like there's no so bad. It's funny

[00:09:15] There's just it's just bad and it's got to stop it was like and Martin Lawrence He's on our repulsive list obviously, right? Yeah He is maybe one of the only ones that's on both lists

[00:09:30] I mean there's got there's a reason why the only thing he does these days is bad boys movies because Apparently Will Smith has got to be buddies with him And I think that he's just making these movies so Martin Lawrence can eat that's that's my theory

[00:09:44] I think in this case is probably the case of Martin Lawrence agreed to come back and do this because Will Smith is basically bombing at the box obviously needed a hit Yeah, probably but His character

[00:09:58] Yeah, yeah, let's not even go well. He's not the only one, but I don't want to go there It's probably that there's no reason to go there cuz the last couple movies. He made yeah, yeah terrible What do you went to them?

[00:10:09] There you go. Hey Joe pants is in this yeah, he's back Even though he died and Khaled who I for the love of God Hey don't understand why that guy acted as a career at the end of the day at least we got a Michael Bay cameo

[00:10:22] Yeah, so we did get that. Yeah, that wasn't directed by him, but he did You directed at least one of the other ones. I looked I looked right at prices as wait a minute Wasn't that Michael Bay? I said yes, it was

[00:10:36] Michael B the actor and a long story short. This was an unbelievable rage. It's total garbage There's no reason for anybody to ever watch this every single character makes you want to gag except for his

[00:10:49] Bastard kid and it was two hours and that whatever was Ronaldo or whatever the other guy's name is that was Martin Lawrence's Son-in-law or something they don't introduce to tell you anything about anybody now

[00:11:03] If you had if you the thing is if you didn't just watch the last ones like right before you went in You're not gonna know anything cuz they're they make these reference and stuff and it's like I have no idea what they're talking about

[00:11:13] Cuz how cuz you can't remember anything from the other movies because they were totally forgettable Well, but also they were far enough away, but at least those were written by human beings But this one was not I'm convinced. This was Chad GBC. I'm on board. I'll sure I

[00:11:30] Yeah, the last one was four years ago. So unless your memory is super good, which you know, it used to be It's not anymore for these movies. Well, let me tell you what I thought of this Mmm, this starts out like the trailer

[00:11:45] For this that I want to say I now have seen probably at least 20 times and Not by choice. I might add it was Because it's been playing it seems in front of every front of every movie

[00:12:00] We have seen for the last three months and you get two versions of it You get the versions where they swear a lot if you go to an R rated movie

[00:12:06] Yeah, and you get the versions where they don't swear a lot if you go to a non R rated Yeah So so this starts out with that one scene like they took the whole scene from the first five minutes

[00:12:19] And that is the fucking that is the trailer. Yeah, so Anywho it starts with a scene that is so annoying and repulsive I actually couldn't believe they would use a clip so awful as their trailer

[00:12:35] But then I realized this is part of the absolute worst franchise that has ever been created So what would I expect? There's not like they could find a clip in this what would make me go Wow

[00:12:46] Maybe this is gonna be different. Maybe this is gonna be the bad boys that I've been hoping for my whole life cops that drive Porsches Dialogue that is apparently written by idiots or in your your belief, which I'm coming on board with chat GPT

[00:13:01] Martin Lawrence is unwatchable and I I did not think this was possible But he is more repulsive in this film than any film He's ever appeared in and again This film follows the model set by these two self-absorbed narcissistic assholes

[00:13:19] Where they do stupid things for laughs or at least attempts at laughs? For some stupid reason that either kills people or almost kills people and it's hilarious, but not only that Do they do these things? But the rest of their team is now also doing it

[00:13:36] So, you know, it's okay when the bad guy is getting away with a person you hired to help you to just Shoot them out of the sky cuz catching criminals is way more important than people's lives, right? In bad boys world it is

[00:13:56] No, I mean this is one of their employees. Yeah, and they're just gonna shoot him out of the sky He's driving a helicopter and she's like, you know, I'm gonna go. I can't let that guy get away Damage he's a bad

[00:14:11] Collateral better shoot the my employee out of the sky and kill them both but at least you got the bad guy It's collateral damage This is ride or die it's it's so it was it was die in his case. Yes or Martin Lors

[00:14:33] Thinks it's funny to walk backwards into traffic Not looking where he's going to prove his trip to and I'm putting this in heavy quotes heaven Was right and that he can't die all the while causing people on the highway to crash their cars and then

[00:14:53] Traumatize them for life or perhaps even die because it's funny, right? He's walking backwards into traffic cuz he's proving he can't die So it's funny. Yes, cuz all these people just almost died some of them possibly did of heart attack or shock or

[00:15:10] Whatever seeing this man walk backwards into into traffic I don't get it. It's funny. Plus, I'm not sure If this franchise thing but he he keeps making a joke that everyone is racist Like was that in the other ones too?

[00:15:32] I don't understand if that was a joke or something like I don't understand what the joke was He even makes a joke that an albino alligator is a racist I'm like, yeah who is who is like what why is that funny?

[00:15:45] I don't get it and what is it supposed to mean? I don't I don't understand But also where physics and reality don't matter in every sink in every single scene in this movie This movie proves my point about the state of what is wrong

[00:16:00] With not only our society but puts these two awful humans on a pedestal But that again holly weird or holly awful Whatever you want to call that continues to make terrible films that apparently the ilk that go to these find them escapism from I have no

[00:16:20] Understanding of why these franchise even exists this franchise is almost like playing the video game Grand Theft Auto except this has Martin Lawrence in it which could explain why it might make you want to slap people It's horrible. The film is probably one of the worst films

[00:16:37] I've ever seen in my life and I know I keep saying that but it's because movies just keep getting worse I know what if I said this two months ago that it was the worst movie I'd ever seen at that point It was but then they keep

[00:16:50] Releasing more films that are just completely Horrible, I know say this a lot. But apparently it can't get any worse could it? They could make another one This is literally the worst But I have a list of things that I also wanted to bring up nothing makes sense

[00:17:14] Everything connected is like children with special needs wrote this or in your case chat GPT same thing a Heart attack patients becomes a Superman two weeks after his heart attack. Mm-hmm. The helicopter crash Was ridiculous the whole mission impossible concept ultimately this is

[00:17:36] Everything wrong with every action comedy movie all rolled up into one Net but then they throw Jurassic Park in for good measure and they even reference Jurassic Park in this and then they turn it up to 11 and then they 11 I and we're gonna talk about this later

[00:17:53] But stick a pin in this movie for a little bit because I got other things to say about this But I we got to move on because I don't want to talk about I don't want to give this any more real estate Yeah, it was awful

[00:18:04] Just so so bad shocker. Yeah, no shock there the watchers Yeah, if we could hold that and just keep it playing it would have been three if I actually involved in to see oh god Yeah, you could you might you don't know that you might have loved it

[00:18:23] You might have thought you might have thought Martin Lawrence buying a hotdog and and skittles Was hilarious and then they just shoot some random guy It's funny he's gonna die funny. Yeah, so the watchers I

[00:18:39] Love fantasy films and although this is kind of marketed as a horror film It is ultimately a fantasy by the time we reach the end of this with these types of films Details matter if you create a universe we are supposed to believe exists

[00:18:56] Then you have to follow these rules now I know this is normally a Bryce thing But when it comes to certain types of movies and in particular Shyamalan movies

[00:19:05] They this is a thing that what bothers me is that if you're gonna make rules and and try and be detail-oriented In one place then you have to be in others and just like her daddy M. Night senior Junior in her first directorial debut has the same problems

[00:19:21] Her dad has in regards to details at no point when our hero played by Dakota Fanning Starts her way out on her journey with her bird Delivery does it make any sense that she goes into the woods and gets lost there is absolutely

[00:19:37] She she has a phone. Yeah takes her on a map So well, no, I mean they look they I get they lose the reception in the middle of the forest They do but but this is a road Car died too. Yeah, which means there was something supernatural

[00:19:52] Did you see where how the where the car died the car died in a road that didn't exist anymore Yeah, so if this was the case Every single person that's traveling between the city that she was in going to Dublin would also be lost in this fucking woods

[00:20:07] So the whole right from the very beginning I don't get why she's on this road all because there's major highway That's right. All all they would have had to say is have have her say, you know what?

[00:20:18] Go a slow different way that that the map isn't telling me to go no map no map quest or map Yeah would tell you to drive into a forest that everybody that goes into disappears and if people are disappearing when they go into

[00:20:35] That fucking woods. Why would there not be a giant sign that says don't go into this woods I mean She's literally at a gas station not long before that and then all of a sudden the road disappears

[00:20:46] Goes into this magical woods it. Well, you know it stops it started off being like a paved highway All of a sudden is a dirt trail in the middle of the forest

[00:20:55] Like that would have been in a lot my first indicator like maybe I'm going the wrong way I just turn around and go back. Yeah, so When the movie started out like that, yeah, it it just took me a little bit out of the film and

[00:21:09] It continues to have similar things that took me out of the film like a bunker which would have taken Years to build with resources that are needed to be brought out Into the woods that you can't escape from not if it was just the top level

[00:21:28] Yeah, but they also yes exactly if it was just the top level I agree that could easily be in built you go in there altogether once and then you go in there

[00:21:38] Once and then you build it, but there's so much more, but there's so much more exactly hint hint spoiler spoiler So yeah, there is there's so many things like that that I had problems with I did like the idea of this story

[00:21:52] And what ultimately the plot is about I tried to get over the gaps in logic as I watched But once I was it was lodged in my mind and then they compounded on top of each other I couldn't shake it

[00:22:05] I did love some of the atmosphere and imagery that she created within the woods and I loved all the actors and think they All did a great job, especially Owen I'm gonna screw this up foul Falere

[00:22:18] Who is quickly becoming one of my favorite character actors and you all may remember her from Mandy and she was also in the Northmen I freaking love her. I want to see her in movie or as a black girl It's the old lady with the way

[00:22:32] Yeah, yeah, so she was a pinnacle role in Mandy she was a great role in the Northmen and in this she's outstanding But as I watched this film, I could not help this gnawing feeling as I watched with the compounding problems

[00:22:46] I could not get past so I guess it's a man because I didn't completely hate the film which makes Junior Shyamalan just like her dad of late. It looks like oh we have a family of We were and night Shyamalan

[00:23:02] Do you remember how bad? Oh, you sure you liked old ice I did old also had the same similar problems to this one Mmm old was It was all more real. It was actually a rage to me. This was just a man

[00:23:14] I'd have some unpacking but what do you what do you think who's who's not next? What do you think? I don't have a whole lot to add to that

[00:23:22] In fact that you liked it a lot more better than I did. All right, I'm not really a big fan of Horror type movies, although this wasn't really a horror but I

[00:23:33] Wanted to like it more than I did it was entertaining and few good parts in it. It was slow not in a very satisfying way I mean it barely is based on a book. I guess the book was really good. I

[00:23:48] Definitely recommend reading the book as opposed to go into this and Yeah, I wish I'm a lemon ding-dong baby But he still produced it so I'm sure he had a little bit in put into it

[00:24:00] Yeah, I like Dakota Fanning I liked it better when she was a kid I Did find something curious I don't know if you guys picked up on it, but her name was Mina

[00:24:11] Her sisters twin sister's name was Lucy. Yep. You know who those characters are? Yeah from Dracula Ram stroke or Dracula Yep, they weren't sisters net in that that movie, but they were best friends

[00:24:21] So that was interesting that they named there those characters that I'd know if their mother was a fan of Dracula or what the deal was they're trying to or maybe add an extra kind of drama to this but possibly

[00:24:33] I don't know. Yeah, and again, I don't like fantasy as much as you do and I found the ending was kind of stupid And according to one of the reviews I read a theater that somebody was in watching this

[00:24:44] They all started laughing at that pinnacle moment right at the end there. They just started laughing out loud They thought it was so ridiculous and I totally agree with it That may be something I want to win power. No, it was a rage

[00:24:57] I mean I wanted to like it but I mean I like the Irish countryside till they got to like the trees I mean I grew up around the forest so it doesn't really fit but I mean I like it was a nice

[00:25:07] nice view until she got to the trees and then yeah, it just seemed tired and Took too long to get to the point and yeah, the last third of the movie was way too long They should just resolved it but no it was a rage

[00:25:21] Yeah, well it just it it seemed to just it didn't focus on anything As much as it should have focused on like I yeah And I think that this book probably like I've never read the book

[00:25:34] but I can't imagine that the book is as choppy as the movie and that things happen so quickly and because this all seemed like it happened like Overnight almost like boom boom boom boom. Boom. Everything's just just almost rapid-fire when and in every scene

[00:25:51] it ends and then we're jump into another scene and it's all just Just too too quick. Like you're saying that it moves slow. I think it moved too quick because too much happened and

[00:26:05] The end yeah, and it was just well it went and it goes bonkers at the end Resulted they resolved everything right at the end. So the other giant mistake is There's no reason to reveal the monster as

[00:26:21] Quickly as they did and to and it kind of just completely took me out of it because once I saw it I was like why what and then I didn't I really like the shadows and I liked the way that they

[00:26:33] Did that and it was great was great But it just it just missed on so many levels and I can't help but think that We've had so many directorial debuts that have been amazing lately. Yeah, but you know what all those directors had in common

[00:26:51] They'll made about a half a dozen shorts before they made a feature. Yeah You know what a what a Shan of Shamalans never done. She's never made a short or a movie Yeah, she did direct one episode of a television series apparently

[00:27:06] But that's it. Yeah to Murray's point. I have a feeling that her dad was kind of it was kind of like their project It's yeah, it's this all just this all just seemed number one

[00:27:17] It was she her as a director. This was rushed because she was not ready to direct a movie like this and In that this whole movie seemed rushed to me because it just nothing connected the way that it should It could have been good

[00:27:34] It wasn't yeah, it was a rage I like the atmosphere. Yeah. Yeah, but that wasn't enough to save the movie The only thing that kind of saved it from a rage for me was I loved the atmosphere of the film in there and

[00:27:48] And you like what sir and I and I like I love her. I think she's amazing And I thought Dakota Fanning was okay Dakota fan. Well, that's the thing about Dakota Fanning is she's always okay Yeah, she's okay. Yeah, she's okay. She's fine

[00:28:05] Step over the world where she was most annoying character in the movie So here's some packing I've got was that the Tom Cruise movie Yeah, Tom Cruise. Okay. Yeah, where she unfortunately lives throughout the whole thing where you love Tom screws. Do I?

[00:28:20] Yeah, I don't think that I do I don't know if he does pretty sure I don't know he doesn't so It was it was I found it to tolerate him

[00:28:31] I found it interesting because they've been trying and it was like the three of them have supposedly been there for months Yeah, but then she was also there also four months Yeah, they went because because they went to winter winter winter

[00:28:45] But it just they came out of winter but watching the movie it just didn't feel like that Like no, I know you have that much time go by but it not really feel like any Summer and then it snowed so I saw that Thanks

[00:28:59] Nothing nothing happened. It was just and it was just it's like she she took okay I think she read the book. She said I think this is a poignant scene out of it I think this is a poignant scene out of it

[00:29:11] This should be point. Okay, so I'm gonna make a movie and I'm just gonna have that scene that scene in that scene But to be honest, they don't really tie together very well You gotta have to have stuff in between those scenes to make it all

[00:29:25] It's just there did not flow Yeah, so I thought it was interesting that they could leave so or easy at the end Well, that's all thing. Yeah the whole and that's the other thing that's so annoying about it is the resolution seem

[00:29:38] It's like okay. That's all you had to do to get out of here Yeah, and it took everybody just sat around for years and years and years or whatever I don't know, but they did show months and months and months. I guess they didn't show them all going

[00:29:51] Like they were all trying to still get oh, I know but nobody could then all of a sudden But then all of a sudden they could all get out. Yeah

[00:29:59] That was the person have been something because it took her harder than it seemed took the hurt actually decide Oh, let's mark a trail because no one no one thought that just started to put well shock or whatever on the trees

[00:30:11] I'm like that was her idea. Yeah till then they don't all get lost and they had to go back before dark Because did one of them actually want them to leave who knows no one I'd one of them didn't and then all of a sudden She did

[00:30:25] There's a there's a really weak explanation as to why that's kind of it's almost implied but not like everything was just Not not develop not the details And you know, there's a hundred about a hundred of the creatures because that's about how many you sort of can imagine

[00:30:41] Yeah, I seem like it there. Yeah, and then when the two of them are not in the in the room They can't find them anywhere But when when the forest is vast

[00:30:51] But if one person's not in there they can instantly find them like there's only a hundred of them This forest is like hectares and hectares. Yeah large It's like and they're all they all go to the window in time

[00:31:03] So if the one guy was missing like when you find out that what's her faces husband goes missing and then oh You're just like okay. So soon as it gets dark they instantly find you but then they can't find Dakota fan

[00:31:15] Well, and here's the problem I had with this whole thing is these creatures these mythical creatures Who just want to watch them through their glass there? But if they're caught outside after dark they kill them

[00:31:29] Like why would you kill somebody that you want to watch like cuz you're missing Stupid it's a rule if you kill them all you had nothing to watch gotta follow the rules or you die

[00:31:39] Well, cuz there'll be more that show up. I guess I don't know and the ending. Yeah, the ending is not good. No Yeah, it took away fine Ending was just as good as everything else Well, it's the rage

[00:31:55] Up was a man. Yeah, the ending was a rage the middle was a Beginning was a rage should have raged about it. I probably forgot you like your fantasy stuff Yeah, and I like her so Suffering hmm. All right, then burden. I carry awesome week

[00:32:13] Next week's gonna be even better. Yeah, I saw there's one movie come out in this cartoon There is a couple This week we went to the latest latest Shamalama ding-dong movie Baby technically by baby Shamalama though he produced it

[00:32:35] As usual there were some thrills in the twist ending M nights movies are hit and miss mostly missed days. Mm-hmm, you know what comes next. So here goes Order from worst in order from worst to best what? Oh, let's see if we agree last airbender

[00:32:55] That's the best. Oh, that's the worst Bar it was inspired by an animated series Unfortunately, what worked in animation did not translate into live-action. Yeah, I was pretty bad Everyone's the original was incomprehensible plot

[00:33:10] Horrible acting and detached a joyless direction got a 5% on rotten tomatoes. What's a rotten tomato? It's a website. It's like IMTB but but it's tomato based tomato based Like tomato they throw tomatoes at people. Tomatoes are delicious. Next up your boy Will Smith after earth

[00:33:30] 2013 yeah, that was also terrible This piece of crap is an overblown expensive sci-fi adventure starring Will Smith and his son Jaden the least most talented Smith I liked after Marooned on an alien world James Karen must venture out for supplies and help while

[00:33:47] Will stays by the spaceship because apparently it's horrible. It was pretty good to make it worse It was such a box office disaster that M night stopped making studio films Has been funding his own movies ever since it was alright that was a 12% I give it a

[00:34:05] 58 I give it a rage. I Give them math cuz I don't give it. Oh my god And we have coming up one of the worst ones even I didn't like okay lady in the water I loved Lady in the water thousand and six

[00:34:19] One stars when a Jim's favorite people price Dallas power Mondo At the time this was in Shyamalan's most controversial film It was supposed to be the fourth film in his partnership with Disney

[00:34:32] Yeah, when Disney offered notes on how to fix it. He got so pissed off. He just left the studio Oh, so the movie was really something it bombed financially and critically Plus it had a confusing plot of completely separate stories Mondo. It was barely a man 25% I

[00:34:50] Loved it and again you are wrong Next up we have Bryce's favorite old old. I loved it It was a movie just felt like an overlong Twilight Zone episode. Yeah Back to the details of M night Shyamalan films

[00:35:09] There's not enough detail and the things that are important Monday interesting concept with some scary entertaining sequences But a really bad third act is horrible a ridiculous twist. I like also Unwatchable so good moments of the movie were basically just high camp

[00:35:27] That was 50% which is appropriate for movie. That's half good half bad. No, it's a hundred percent bad We have that happening No, God was a weird end of the world thriller where plants are producing a noxious chemical This is also Mondo for you, but makes humans

[00:35:44] Turn on each other a Horribly miscast group of actors led by a confused Mark Wahlberg. Yeah genius high school science I didn't think he could act then all of a sudden a Mark Wahlberg's a genius I buy it he stumbled through this ridiculous setup

[00:36:04] Pretty good, and that was I'll tell you what's ridiculous and everything Bryce's man The village the village the last film of Shyamalan's movies I like it and the most frustrating it was met set in a remote

[00:36:19] Pennsylvania village in the 19th century with a strict set of rules to keep the villagers safe from the monsters that live in the woods It was a fairly creepy film. Unfortunately, the final twist was just aggravating. Yeah 44%

[00:36:34] Okay, it's not all bad. There were some hits to flashes of brilliance from Shyamalan Knock at the cabin 2023 By all three of us his latest film about two dads and their young daughter whose remote cabin in the woods

[00:36:49] Is invaded by four weirdos led by Dave Bautista. He was great in it Weird and creepy T stuff which was an effective combination though. I didn't like it that much

[00:37:01] Audience of critics did it almost made us think that Shyamalan was back to his former self almost almost. Oh By the way when you originally saw old you gave it a man. Oh, well now I love it. There you go

[00:37:14] You're gonna mondo that up. Yeah, see I was being contrarian. There you go. I'd accept one of my favorite movies Signs probably his most entertaining movie and one of the few I liked with Phoenix in it

[00:37:26] Yeah, I didn't really like it. I just takes the alien invasion concept and focuses on one family and one farmhouse It was also man. It was Low man, I literally met man night show. Yeah, and there you go

[00:37:40] The phenomenal cast led by Mel Gibson as a former priest who lost his faith when his wife died in an accident Joaquin Phoenix Abigail Breslin and Rory Culkin are all the Culkin ader Hulk one of the Culkin aiders

[00:37:53] The only thing that ruins the movie is some uninspired creature designs and a ridiculous twist ending Wham wham I won't ruin for you, but it was just stupid it was meh still a 75% on rock to me is low man

[00:38:06] And probably my favorite was probably his most popular one the sixth sense Yeah, how is that not at the top? It is the top. Oh, I'm going from worst Oh, you're not bringing all those other movies in no, okay 14 movies I listed like 10 of them or 12 of them

[00:38:26] I was hoping we're gonna get the whole list but okay his most famous film and arguably his best one of the last movies that Truly gave me goosebumps. There's good. I get really gave me chills because I love my ghost stories

[00:38:37] Yep, I also think it's Bruce Willis's best film Introduced us actually I introduced us to CLF Haley Joe Osment Unbreakable is probably you know also established M. Night as the love ending guy 86% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, I'd say unbreakable I like more

[00:38:58] You said it was the last one the last one on my list oh I purposely left the trilogy of unbreakable That's what I was wondering because I haven't seen any of them

[00:39:11] People say unbreakable is Shyamalan's best film. It is a two were not as good. That is correct. They're good So you can watch your not as good their man Hopefully baby Shyamalan a ding-dong starts making better movies so glass Unbreakable wasn't there another one? Yes

[00:39:31] Split that I was getting split and splice Messed up in my head, but splice is the alien with a Yes, and split is the the like the four James McAvoy. It's a fourth one, right? It's the third one. It's a fourth one. It's a trilogy

[00:39:48] I mean three but it all stems from all because I think what was the first one Bruce Willis then then the other was No, no, that's splice was the second one with James. Yes, and then glass was the third

[00:39:59] What was the one with it wasn't Jim? Jim Samuel Jackson one of those or was he the first one glass season? Yeah, no, he was in all three of them He was in the first one then the last one brings all the characters together, right?

[00:40:09] It's all yes, that how that works which one was that glass was the last one it was with all three of all Institution that you're glad that I think McAvoy breaks out or something split

[00:40:20] Mm-hmm. I don't know whatever like I didn't see them so I can't I can't rate them I never wrong they're all max up for unbreakable He has two Mondos and the rest of his stuff is max up for a rage. He's mad night glass

[00:40:38] Hold on Mary just wait a sec. Oh, I play that first ready. Yeah I don't know what's going on Okay, God, I'm really drunk That's the best line I have to admit

[00:41:04] That apparently is a commercial plays in the theaters. I had it is still yet to see I know How could you miss it I never go there Stop what? Does the club shut down all he wants is pizza? What does he say though Don't make a play

[00:41:36] You want me to play it again? Yeah, okay Are you ready? Yes It's only gonna play this once okay Okay, this is the greatest song Just wants a pizza all I want is pizza when does the club shut all I want is pizza I just wants the pizza

[00:42:04] Got him really drunk whatever anyway All I want is pizza Yeah, I'm never brought to you by some anonymous pizza place. What's it called Paul's pizza? I wasn't cuz he didn't pay us. I wasn't gonna man. Whatever. I know he gave us the song

[00:42:24] Yeah, he told us he gives a free pizza then yeah, maybe we will all right you ready rising Oh Sweet sweet How I love you so All right well my rage this week is related to the franchise we just saw this week called bad boys

[00:43:17] this franchise in particular I Thought fasten the furious was bad, but this one is so Horrible it enrages me to no end how even one person Makes a conscious decision to pay money they earned with their hard-earned money

[00:43:38] For any reason to go see this is completely beyond me And I know we've talked about this before and I'm positive we made a Pact that we would not have to see these movies anymore. I thought you did I thought we did too

[00:43:54] No, it's okay. We're not making a pact. Okay. I'm gonna watch the next one. Okay, so hear me out Okay, so what I'm telling you is I

[00:44:04] Don't want to see another one of these Sims because if we've taken if we've taken Christian conversion films off our list and Children's movies and rom-coms off our list then we need to take this horrible franchise off our list

[00:44:15] There is no chance the next time that this film is made that it's not gonna be anything but a rage So there's not even a question that we might go. Oh, maybe there's gonna be a point

[00:44:24] We don't go see Christian conversion films because there's not a chance of us getting converted and we don't see kids films because we're Not kids so my my argument is we should not have to see this terrible tripe unless someone dares us to see it In the future

[00:44:39] I do not want to watch another one of these in cinema And if we're gonna if you're gonna say nope, we gotta watch it then we're gonna go watch every fucking Christian conversion film that comes out Okay We can do that. You ready for that? Yeah

[00:44:53] Bring it on It was you that decided not to see the Christian Now it's getting silly if we're gonna but you're right if we can't we can't have our cake and eat it so that's Right. So then we also we also

[00:45:11] I'm in agreement. We're going to have to go see animated films. Absolutely sign me up We're doing them all cool Thank You Jim point taken Check me Jim That's not the result I wanted we're going everything I like it

[00:45:52] Jim's rage made me so happy that I don't know that I've got a rage this week I mean the low-hanging fruit my rage is the fact that Martin Lawrence is still making movies That the bad boys franchise continues to roll on

[00:46:10] But you know it is what it is and I you know at the very least I'll get to watch the next one with my good buddy, Jim So maybe it's not such a rage and you know what if we watch enough Christian conversion films, maybe we'll get converted

[00:46:26] Maybe it'll finally work only one way to find out Jim, right? The question was more Satanic films made I'm done you're done. That's it All right, so We were supposed to Yes, see a movie for this week. Yes, but apparently it wasn't a movie. Yes

[00:47:04] It was a series that pretended it was a movie Which ultimately made it not a movie but a series pilot So we didn't see that in my defense IMDB lists it as a movie an hour and 47 minutes. That's a fucking movie. I know

[00:47:24] New season of the Bears coming out June 27th Um for everybody who watches the bear when you're supposed to be watching movies And now we won't have time I like so many so little series

[00:47:42] Well, you're not gonna have any more time because there's at least two Christian conversion films that come out every week. Oh, yeah Okay, so go to our website film rage yyc.com check out our page called the lists on it You will find five

[00:47:59] Lists you will find the doubted the undoubted the mesmerizing and the repulsive Obviously Martin Lawrence is the only one of the only people that's on both lists of both repulsive and completely doubted But I have some people I want to put you I want to pay some people

[00:48:16] All right, I want to put forward for this pissed. I mean this list. I'm having too much so I saw For the mesmerizing and I also have one for the repulsive Yeah, shoot. So for mesmerizing

[00:48:33] Because I watched a Katherine Hepburn movie last week and then Bryce and I talked about it at the movies And I want to add Katherine Hepburn on as mesmerizing because she is by far the most mesmerizing person That's ever happened pretty good, yeah, she's fucking mesmerizing

[00:48:55] I don't know why you're looking at me. Of course. She's mesmerizing. It's that's a no-brainer. Yeah Watch that for that can murr. Does Katherine rep burn get in? Me I don't know if I think she's been in the last what 40 years. Well if we put

[00:49:10] Henry Fonda on then we'd have to watch on Golden Pond. There you go Henry Fonda He's not on our mesmerized I put forward Henry Fonda. I just watched 12 angry men and holy crap was he good

[00:49:24] And he was was Katherine Hepburn in that too. No, if she wasn't all right, but Jack Klugman was in it Yeah, Jack You watch Quincy who doesn't but yeah The original 12 angry men not the debacle that came

[00:49:41] Later, that's just poopy. Yeah, it's super but the original 12 angry men is an excellent movie I watched about four or five months ago and it's so so good. And yeah, so I'm putting forward Peter Fonda or not Peter

[00:49:54] Peter Fonda is not mesmerizing Henry Fonda. There is Bridget Fonda. No Jane Fonda is also no Henry Fonda and I am saying no because I've seen Henry Fonda in other things He's always mesmerizing no, he's not I like him a lot

[00:50:11] I like him a lot too and in Engalton pond he was almost mesmerizing but he came up against Katherine Hepburn I guess I guess way more mesmerizing. I guess if you're going there then yeah already

[00:50:22] I'm I mean I just listed it so we could have a comparison and then there's nobody that she's ever been in A movie with that can stand five seconds against her now. I feel silly. Yeah, well you are so there you go All right

[00:50:34] So that's one yay and my second one Which we talked about briefly last week because I had to watch that stupid Jennifer Lopez film is that I'm putting up Jennifer Lopez As repulsive absolutely because she is completely repulsive Jennifer Lopez, okay

[00:50:56] Ben Affleck, I have no idea what that who the what who's been athlete? No. No what? How would I know who's married to Ben out like who cares he's your god of acting?

[00:51:07] Yeah, that's right. So what that has nothing like I could care less about his personal life I don't care if he's married to a toad. Yeah. Well, we're not talking about that. We're talking about her acting Okay, so not her singing Can we talk about it too?

[00:51:22] Because it's definitely repulsive. I didn't mind her singing. I just can't listen to it now. I know who she's banging Or was banging. I don't understand. Why does that happen? Can you explain to me what that has to do with anything?

[00:51:34] Okay, Murray's got everybody's guy everybody's got rules they live in you've got stupid rules for things He's got stupid rules for things. I got no Most Objective I okay

[00:51:52] You literally just listed a bunch of M Night Shyamalan movies that were terrible that you said it was a mondo and they're like No, that wasn't a monto So you have beliefs about Shyamalan That's no more

[00:52:05] Weirder than his beliefs about people's personal lives affecting his lady in the water was mondo. It was man, but it's okay You can believe that. Hey, so Jennifer Lopez. Let me just yeah, is she repulsive or not? I you know, I'm just give me a second

[00:52:18] I'm trying to think I can't even think of a Jennifer Lopez movie right now So let me just maybe that one that she was with Owen Wilson You just pull her up on the old internet machine here and let's see What? She's been in

[00:52:36] Jennifer Lopez there she is. Okay, so She's been in 45 movies it says here That's a lot of movies. Okay, so let's just look at recently Okay Atlas I have not seen her you should watch her in that should I yes Okay, greatest love

[00:53:01] Haven't watched much Jennifer Lopez Oh Shotgun wedding Okay hustlers she was she was repulsive I Haven't seen many movies of hers Oh Monster-in-law shoes and oh, yeah, she's a repulsive in that Jersey girl. She was repulsive in that Gili

[00:53:36] You like the movie but she was still repulsive. Yeah Made Manhattan. She was repulsive angel eyes. Oh god. She was repulsive. Can we get past this? We already know Yes, move on this is a no repulsive out of sight repulsive Selena repulsive anaconda she Watch it again

[00:54:04] The cast that she's up against isn't one of those ice guys in that movie. Yeah, there's an ice guy in it I can't can't know I can't tell you're friends in the second one one of them's a cube

[00:54:15] I don't know which one's which I don't think he's in is he in the first one? But he was in the second Honda they made more than one. Yeah Was he oh, yeah. No, I remember the first one. I'm pretty sure ever mind

[00:54:26] Yeah, John Voight was John that's the best part of the movie when John Voight the when the snake like pukes up John Voight Yeah, that's good stuff. Yeah, I really like that and then they had a shot of

[00:54:38] Who is repulsive? I'm gonna watch anaconda real soon here you do that. Okay. Well, you know what? Story start no, I don't have to watch it Jennifer Lopez totally repulsive

[00:54:50] There we go, we got two unanimous decisions is awesome are we putting Fonda on there too. No, no, he was kiboshed No, Henry Fonda was kiboshed

[00:55:00] Yeah, Oh, I gather my burn by me like by him because of Catherine Hepburn and apparently he's been in other stuff that Jim wasn't as great as He has been in 12 angry men. All right, okay

[00:55:13] Maybe it's just it's so fresh in my mind. I'm thinking I like it can be mesmerizing in a film That doesn't make him fully mesmerizing. No, it doesn't there you go. All right then last week Last week on

[00:55:32] Rage or dare the boys were dared by April one of our listeners to see what has been ranked by many as one Of the worst movies ever made no, it's not part of the fast and the furious franchise

[00:55:46] It's Tommy Weasel's 2003 film the room as for this week. We have Another listener dare One of our podcast friends sir Jimbo of England from the podcast cast a role Brought us a movie rental on our site by Mia coffee slash film rage YYC and

[00:56:10] What's this? It's a samurai movie. Oh wait, it's a cop movie No, wait, it's samurai cop from 1991 and Now back to the boys for almost five years and through many dares sent in by our happy little masochists

[00:56:27] They've avoided Tommy Weasel's magnum opus, but now they must enter. Oh Hi, Mark the room Hold up. I'm gonna grab some popcorn Come on Bryce. Oh Jim He done

[00:56:49] He actually did go grab some popcorn and got some popcorn. I thought he was done. No, he was still getting his popcorn Yeah, Tommy was so the room I Don't know what to say about this movie. I let Murray go first Murray actually watch this

[00:57:10] Yeah, tell us what you thought. Yes, Jim made me watch this So so this is the best. This is the best one ever This is the first rage that Murray's partaken in and what a film to partake in

[00:57:21] Jim tempted me with a pro with it with the promise of a free meal. So I watched this with him. Yes How long the movie was seemed like it was about three hours long

[00:57:33] Like an hour and 40. Yeah, but it took us like two and a half hours to watch it So I think you guys saw some sort of edited version. No Jim doesn't We just get all the no no there's like four sex scenes in the first 15 minutes

[00:57:48] It was edited and we saw is it we saw an edited version But I mean, I've seen the original before in theaters when like it when it came out. So Yes, it was absolutely awful one of the worst things I've ever seen I

[00:58:03] Don't know what else I can say about it It's just that between the the bad lip sync like the bad editing Obviously, they didn't matter bother to match the actual dialogue with the people talking And yeah, just the scenes that made no sense

[00:58:18] like they're talking about stuff up on the roof and then then it cuts to like The main dude there planning a tape recorder with a phone to catch his His girlfriend's cheating then they're like planning a wedding

[00:58:36] Then they go back to something else and then they're there they're throwing a football around in their tuxedos Then it goes a lot of football back to his birthday party. I'm like what the hell they play catch

[00:58:48] Like a hallway, I don't know. I didn't understand it. It just it was stupid. Yeah, of course. It was a rage So if if I bought you a dress To have a nap in yeah, would you think I'm boring? No, and if my little kid neighbor

[00:59:06] Like watching us have and I'm putting this in quotes naps together. Is that is that gross? One thing to know no matter what neighbors kids over all Are just gonna stop when you're having naps. You're having naps

[00:59:26] So one thing to know is that everything will be fine. Mm-hmm The best thing about this is that nothing makes sense from one scene to the next but more importantly You're tearing me apart Bryce. Yeah Yeah, but what I need to know is when is the wedding?

[00:59:47] When is the party is mark actually saying no to Lisa and his Denny actually? Graduating but more importantly does he ever get off drugs? I would say These things and many more will be answered on the next episode of the room

[01:00:09] But that would mean anything is actually answered through this entire movie Not one this really is a class on how to not make a movie as much as everything about this film is

[01:00:22] Confusing not connected and completely awful. This is a movie to drink to for many many reasons or laugh at Constantly plus seeing this film with my merman and seeing him experience it for the first time was absolutely priceless This arguably is

[01:00:39] Pretty much one of the most movies worst movies ever made but ha ha ha ha What a story mark And you Bryce leave your stupid Mm-hmm leave your stupid comments in your pocket because this movie is a rage but also a lot of fun

[01:01:04] Especially to see it with a friend. Yeah, I didn't have fun I watched it as I mentioned before I watched as a curiosity many many years ago as many people did and

[01:01:16] At that time I'm like wow, this is this is awful and then I thought well at least I'll never have to watch it again And Lo and behold behold and I was waiting for this like I knew at some point once we did some podcasts

[01:01:29] We had a rage or dare thing that someone was gonna eventually give us the room. Yeah and as you say, I mean the whole movie is so disjointed like the scene on the roof with the

[01:01:40] Drug dealer and it's like what is going on like and nothing comes of it Nothing comes of any scene in the movie nothing happens like and then you know, and then the end Where it's even at the end where they go from?

[01:01:57] He goes from I'm getting out of here, you know, you got what you deserve Then all of a sudden he's back over him all concerned again. Like nothing made sense. It was a very very very strange experience Traumatizing it wasn't traumatized. It's just it's just bad

[01:02:15] No, and I'm I'm actually a little upset that people kind of support this film because There's no reason to support this film. It's not so bad. It's good. It's not so bad. It's funny. It's just awful it's just

[01:02:34] Awful and it shouldn't be watched by anyone cuz it's just awful and I want to make jokes about it and everything But it wasn't funny to me It's just a really bad filmmaker making a really bad film Yeah, and

[01:02:52] Yeah, I guess he's been talking about it for the last 20 years Anybody invites him he goes to talk about yeah Well any any I know what now he's you know, now he's got it to the point where he's like

[01:03:02] Well, I wanted to make the worst movie ever but it you know what dude you didn't know just own it. Yep But apparently he has another movie out here What real soon yeah, he's been that's been saying it's been coming out for years what no the shark movie

[01:03:19] There's a thing I think it's called bite It's actually released maybe Let's see This is big shark big shark. It's already out. There you go. So he's got another movie Three firefighters must save New Orleans and from a shark attack

[01:03:39] Of course, he stars in it. His ego would not allow and he also wrote it. There you go Maybe we'll get to see this on the podcast I really hope not Anyway, is that all we got?

[01:03:52] I think that's it when so we're gonna be watching samurai cop apparently thanks to so Jimbo of England Sir Jimbo of England, that's true. He's been nice That's true he's been knighted

[01:04:08] Thanks ragers for listening and if you made it all the way to the end of this episode you deserve a prize Thanks to extended film rage family who you can find in our show notes

[01:04:17] Thanks to Casey our god of rage from the nerdy photographer for the voice of rage or dare Find us on social media everywhere at film rage yyc check out everything film rage film rage yyc calm Including our merch site for red bubble and tea public

[01:04:31] We're always wanting to make this a raging blast for all listeners So please comment like and subscribe and send us emails to film rage calgary at gmail.com Dare us to see terrible movies to fuel our rage, but no matter what you do

[01:04:43] Please please please pretty please please please. I'll make us a page That's it for this week You