Q&A with Fitness Coach, Athlete & Author Amber Dobecka

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_04]: This podcast is a production of Unfiltered Studios. If you would like to know more about joining Unfiltered

[00:00:04] [SPEAKER_04]: Studios, please visit our website at UNFPod.com for more information.

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_05]: The link is on there like every day when I'm schooled for stories. So, Kudos to you guys. You have bigger

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_08]: than you know. Oh, me! I am so glad to hear that because there's so much more to do.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_05]: You never know how they're going to take off. Yeah. Instagram seems to have figured it out better

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_05]: because you would see that with Facebook and you're like okay that barely lasted a day compared to what you said it would.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_09]: Yeah exactly. Going on here. Yeah. I told the same size. I feel like I'm just getting started.

[00:01:32] [SPEAKER_09]: I don't really have anything to figure it out just taking it one day at a time.

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_05]: I figured you had a story to tell since I'm a biohacker myself and I was just like fit forever. It was a

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_09]: wonderful read. So, oh, be a finish it? Yes. Wow! Thanks for reading. Thanks for sharing that with me.

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_05]: I appreciate it. Anytime tonight guys we got a wonderful author, wellness coach and fitness instructor.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_05]: We got Amber Debeca here on the show tonight. Here to talk about her book fit forever as well as

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_05]: share other tips and tricks. Yeah. There's so many great quotes in this book. One that really hit me was

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_05]: just because it's you're going for like a spiritual wellness doesn't mean it has to look or sound

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_05]: spiritual. There was another one that also hit me which was 85% into the book. You really started

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_05]: talking more about physical science is not rocket science. I'm like see that's the magic keyword,

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_05]: I think. Because it's already pain as it is to tell ourselves I can't do this and then

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_05]: have to you pretty much hit on rewarding it multiple different ways. It's like whatever I got

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_09]: to say to tell you it's not impossible. Yeah exactly. It's so much more simple than we think it is.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_09]: And I think the world we live in complicates it because there's money and complicated it

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_09]: is everyone wants to sell you something or tell you it's this way and all the other ways are stupid

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_09]: and you're an idiot if you do it that way. So come on. Right away and unfortunately we get stuff

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_09]: in this decision fatigue and this here of not doing the right thing so then we don't do anything at all.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we we've reasoned our tracks which is just as bad as letting the volcano erupt on us, you know.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. I love my folks and my father is always helping me out and he's like he jumped with

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_05]: me like yesterday is like yeah I'm just bought a new car because the old one flooded and he's so funny.

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_05]: He's like I just threw away about the billion fear mongered you know add saying sign up for this

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_05]: because they use certain words like open now and it's just order line illegal and it's like,

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_09]: no, I'm not going to open that. It's so hard even when we are aware that we're being sold or

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_09]: we're aware that this is not and I'm not going to fall for it. I mean I'll be the first one to tell you.

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_09]: I still I'm like I want to do it so bad. We're really curious even though it's the same way

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_09]: and we're helpful right like we want I think maybe some of us more than others we are we see

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_09]: potential in something and we want to trust that it's going to work is we're so hungry for the answer

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_09]: we're so hungry for whatever it is that we're being told we could possibly get and therefore we're

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_09]: willing to just give something a chance even though we know as risky. So yeah it's too good to be true

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_05]: and that we're still curious and I actually did six therapy sessions last year but that was okay

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_05]: that was a big break for it because usually first that goes back to your first point first we

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_05]: hide behind the money excuse oh it's going to be you know fifty eighty dollars per session guide i

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_05]: you out of and then I was like I don't need help which is already a lie yes you you got to talk

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_05]: about something and if family members or friends are driving you crazy talk about with some licensed

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_05]: person who's already going to find repeated back to you and have it make better sense and I was just

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_05]: like okay from zoom I have you know I've already fought in some of you and bunch of other stuff

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_05]: skill for it just tried out and it was wonderful because basically one thing that all of them use

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_05]: and I'm this plays into everything mental health fitness everything a certain communication

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_09]: yeah i don't i don't know if you've heard of that one yeah okay i mean i think i can follow you

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_05]: you're saying and you get you give everyone a win basically so hey i can't reach out the gym this

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_05]: one's day hey but i can do it next one's day or hey i can help you with the wedding but i'm

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_05]: i can't be the best man or something like that you know just give you half a win instead of

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_05]: a white lie instead of a half truth or uh or just an excuse saying no you know without a reason

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_05]: right yeah being unloving or behind yeah i can't uh or like i can do this but i can't do that or

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_05]: like hey i know you want me to eat at this restaurant with you i don't eat that kind of food anymore

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_05]: have it with try this one hey i i don't have time to you know go to that one contest your

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_09]: but i can babysit your pets this coming you know yeah that's no that's very good i i definitely

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_09]: i'm gonna take that point home with me because i think it's something we can always practice

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_09]: with better or more clear boundaries in the way we say yeah instead of you know so lie you don't

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_09]: have to explain your know necessarily but just clearly communicate i i've got stuff always

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_09]: explaining my know because that was part of my people pleasing nature and i was so

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_09]: hit on at a button somebody yeah i do it's not the butt of that part but we all relate i

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_05]: that's why i think it's such a relatable book you know it's just having to explain the frustrations

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_05]: and then having to explain hey i'm not angry but i i'm still trying to get through you and i

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_05]: don't feel like you're and this is where it gets even harder it's like well

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_05]: i don't want to be damned if i do damned if i don't but at the same time like hey i need to let you know

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_05]: i am i am trying on my end yes for sure yeah so you've built up your template on how to

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_05]: organize all your tips and tricks it's very digestible and you've gotten rid of all the common

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_05]: uh uninformed or miss and all that but so why do you think i'll reword this a bit

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_05]: well what do you think you're able to structure this advice for others um well you know a lot of it

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_09]: is a lot of it is me sharing number one from my past experience and things that

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_09]: i've tried and failed at or tried and learned from i've always tried to take the perspective of

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_09]: whatever i do and when i learn from something and i think that that is the implementation of

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_09]: gross you know being able to grow from something um you know my background in history which i

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_09]: share quite a bit about in my book affords me a lot of failure and um you know if you fail at something

[00:08:39] [SPEAKER_09]: or when something doesn't work out the way that you plan and just from sheer disappointment even

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_09]: even things that are not necessarily your fault you have two options you can sit in that pain

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_09]: or you can grow from it and so i will say that that's one thing that i've always tried to do is

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_09]: what can i learn from this how can i improve um aside note if your um listeners are interested in

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_09]: like self development things there's this pest called these well it's a street it's a strength

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_09]: finders pest it's like the clifton i have to find out the exact name but it's like the clifton

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_09]: strength kind string spinder pest and it's really good so it showed me when i took it um just like a

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_09]: couple years ago i took it in a leadership class it showed me my number one strength is improvement

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_09]: and inputs and first at first i was like what does that even mean like that is that kind of

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_09]: gathering information whether that's gathering information from my mistakes or things that

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_09]: disappoint me like figuring out what i can do to improve and not do that again unfortunately

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_09]: in the dysfunctional way of having that nature or that personality that makes me a perfectionist

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_09]: and i'm always trying to do better and therefore i never celebrate and i'm never content with just

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_09]: being wherever i'm at so i think learning from that um all those experiences over years and a

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_09]: little bit of wisdom coming from that obviously a lot of Jesus in my life a lot of healing going on

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_09]: in my spiritual life and getting closer to God and understanding that i was never meant to be perfect

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_09]: i was never meant to have it all figured out in that god is not grown off by my failures in fact he

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_09]: expects it and so why do i expect myself to be not fail or to not um to not best up and so

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_09]: as i had these revelations over years i just felt so strongly about sharing these stories with

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_09]: people because i mean what is the purpose of me getting better if i'm not helping others get better

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_09]: and of course as i was practicing this in my my career you know as a fitness instructor we can help

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_09]: as fitness instructor we can help people become physically better but i was learning over years of

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_09]: trying to help people transform physically that they they were there was such a cap that they could really

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_09]: only transform physically as much as they were willing to transform mentally spiritually emotionally

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_09]: emotionally and until we addressed those issues they were never going to succeed because the thing

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_09]: is there's an abundance of information out there about meal plans and workout plans and you can go on

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_09]: Pinterest or Instagram and find perfect cookie cutter you know plan and and you could try to follow it

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_09]: but if it was that easy everybody would be super fit and nobody has issues the problem is

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_09]: our mind gets in the way our habits our lifestyle our relationships are the way that we think about

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_09]: other people so all of those things have to be addressed if we want to have any sort of progress

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_09]: physically which is usually where people that's what people think they want right they think they want

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_09]: to lose weight or they think they want to look better or a peer better or even i mean even a step

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_09]: deeper is a lot of people are like like i want to feel better i want to feel more energetic i want to feel

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_09]: i don't want to feel sick anymore i want to get off these medications and that's closer to it but

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_09]: it's still deeper than that it's i want to be able to walk in a room and not immediately compare

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_09]: myself to everyone else not immediately find the slog and everybody else to see where i size up or

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_09]: I size down and i want to i don't want to be thinking about myself i want to be able to serve other people i

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_09]: be able to serve need that person's needs it compliment this person and celebrate that person's

[00:12:44] [SPEAKER_09]: wins without thinking about how it affects me and the only way we can arrive at that point is being

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_09]: confident enough in who we are that we're not thinking about ourselves so much i that is golden right there yeah

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_05]: because i do this when i find a gift i try to find a good deal and i try to find it earlier

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_05]: and even go to the extra mile that you're something that no one else even does in today's world right

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_05]: right a letter and all that my sister loves to mix in her love of arts and crafts and

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_05]: work it into sewing and doingst making original clothing for other friends but yeah no that is so true

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_05]: how and you you hit on in the book a lot as like the selfless journey while still

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_05]: you know finding new things each year and yeah you're training yourself so you're about yourself

[00:13:41] [SPEAKER_05]: right and it seems like it's time you read a poll there's people who you know have been to

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_05]: call you're something as soon as I've learned it all i don't have to keep growing and it's like

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_05]: oh there's always something you know your professors don't know everything they know a good

[00:13:56] [SPEAKER_09]: young good what you major my being but yeah i think the point that you that you think that you

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_09]: you know it all or even um you might not you might not admit that and using those words but you might

[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_09]: think of a right on a word it yeah like this is a good thing even yeah it's like even if you were to say

[00:14:19] [SPEAKER_09]: this is good as it gets and this is my life or even not improving from here like it's just who I am

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_09]: this even like from a spiritual side even people that's her talk this is who how God made me be with

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_09]: it and no yeah we are made to change and made to adapt and develop and become keep on the

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_09]: coming like we're supposed to keep on developing and keep on becoming and I think like that's what

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_09]: has me personally hooked on fitness is because there's constantly something just beyond my reach

[00:14:52] [SPEAKER_09]: like a skill or you know for me lifting you know once you hit this weight then it's like okay

[00:14:58] [SPEAKER_09]: now you get to this weight you know there's always something yeah there's always ways to improve

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_09]: and you know when not when I start to think those ways in physical fitness I have to learn how to

[00:15:10] [SPEAKER_09]: insulate that into all the other areas of my life and that's what keeps you moving forward

[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_09]: and keeps that beneficial and keeps me becoming not just a better athlete not just a better fitness

[00:15:21] [SPEAKER_05]: trainer but a better person. I love that. What myth do you feel like you've had to kind of

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_05]: dispel the most because it like you say you know sometimes it's a mixture of people who've been

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_05]: bad in formation versus they mean no harm but they they're still kind of expecting kind of like

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_05]: a magic trick and it's all good or a few sessions and they move on you know. Yeah that's that's a

[00:15:51] [SPEAKER_09]: great question honestly I think one of the first things that comes to mind is it kind of it

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_09]: kind of ties into at the very beginning of our conversation we talked about like thin narrative

[00:16:05] [SPEAKER_09]: that we tell ourselves I think a lot of it a people are afraid to be honest with themselves

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_09]: and so they paint this picture of who they are and it's so it's so different from the reality

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_09]: for example and I'm gonna give some background to this but I get a lot of inquiries from

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_09]: people who want to work with me one-on-one with coaching and I ask very detailed questions because

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_09]: the more I know about their current state of fitness and their lifestyle the better I can be able

[00:16:39] [SPEAKER_09]: to say okay this is what we should do moving forward and yeah yeah well a lot of the times

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_09]: people will tell me that you know they say it's like I'm five two I'm 200 plus pounds I'm a woman

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_09]: and all I eat is chicken and broccoli and I'm like and I work out five times a week and I'm like

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_09]: something is not right you know if that's the truth then you shouldn't weigh that much or that

[00:17:08] [SPEAKER_09]: like you shouldn't be in need of fitness and nutrition counseling or coaching here is what you're

[00:17:13] [SPEAKER_09]: telling me is the reality and and of course that usually that's the surface level so I think the myth

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_09]: is we we have gotten so used to presenting ourselves in a light and I think a lot of it has to

[00:17:27] [SPEAKER_09]: be with being on social media having this virtual representation of ourselves this life that we

[00:17:34] [SPEAKER_09]: present to others and unfortunately it's trained us to not think intrinsically to not think about

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_09]: what we're thinking about to not ask ourselves those part questions of am I following through with what I

[00:17:49] [SPEAKER_09]: said am I successful with what I say I want because if I say I want to be fit or if I want to have

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_09]: these three goals met am I being truthful with saying that I'm willing to do at Y and Z

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_09]: I don't know if that constitutes as a myth but I would say that that is a problem and like this

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_09]: it puts a limit I guess on maybe I'm how far people can go until you're willing to be honest with

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_09]: yourself and you know if you're working with the coach which I think if you're willing to work with

[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_09]: the coach then you then you they you've taken the first step forward you already have to be

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_05]: person what they have to say yeah especially if you're there every day and you're on time so that's

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_05]: already a good start yes let's just say for whatever's the best scenario and one thing I often

[00:18:49] [SPEAKER_05]: hear and this is not to be organized anyone or anything but it's kind of goes back into kind

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_05]: of nervousness and everything we will hear a few different other excuses like oh I'm just an

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_05]: average Joe I can't do this like well what do you want to do let's split it around yeah have you ever

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_05]: had to kind of just say okay you know like think of this as your cutoff point how far you will

[00:19:19] [SPEAKER_05]: go like I even look at it as I hate to bring money into this but like let's say I'm on eBay how

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_05]: high am I willing to bid okay no more than 50 you know so I'm gonna get this kind of product

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_05]: this is what I think it's worth and it seems like a lot of people don't put a number on something

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_09]: they just kind of go well you're guessing that's my mind no I think that that is a really good point

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_09]: so if you can see better I think people are unwilling to even talk about the cost that it's going

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_09]: to take yes yeah yeah again I hate to keep talking about social media as a problem because I'm

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_09]: on there a lot and I think it's a solution in so many ways and I can bring there are so many benefits

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_09]: to it right there are some problems and there are some problems to it and one of them being

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_09]: I think that people get on there in the people saying it's so easy all you got to do is do this

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_09]: and this and then people tries whatever it is and they fail and they're disappointed

[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_09]: and they think well what's wrong with me I must be a failure because it wasn't easy and they told

[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_09]: me it was going to be easy instead if all I if all I did was this is this that I would be successful

[00:20:40] [SPEAKER_09]: and then it's not that easy that's what I like for review yes it's like okay did they do their

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_05]: homework or they cutting some corners or they only tried out the trial you know and I would do

[00:20:54] [SPEAKER_05]: that on rate my professor I would look at the reviews of who was I put in the time and effort

[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_05]: and it which was the common trend okay the study materials don't have anything to do with the

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_05]: exam okay that's a problem versus this person was saying I don't like the the person's face will

[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_05]: that has nothing to do with that I'm sorry you don't like their face and you can't be constructive

[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_05]: enough to say what's wrong with the class yeah and of course every other professor hated it

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_05]: because they're like oh it's he's here say I'm like well there's a reason the sight exists it's

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_05]: people who want to share certain professors that are active and see if they're they recommend

[00:21:38] [SPEAKER_05]: the class or not but I mean you could go to the back of Amazon reviews which ones are a corporate

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_05]: one five stars not much detail versus one that's like a free or four out of five given some detail

[00:21:51] [SPEAKER_05]: yes yeah it it it seems like but to your earlier point it does seem like many like to just go

[00:21:59] [SPEAKER_05]: yes or no you know like you got to pick a team and say well sometimes there's the in between

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_05]: you know and we get that even with commitment like let's say let's say you want to have a

[00:22:14] [SPEAKER_05]: charity run you know and you're looking for volunteers at this point there's yes and there's

[00:22:20] [SPEAKER_05]: everything else yeah if you get a maybe that's still not a yes right exactly yeah I think we have

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_09]: one of the myths is that people can people can become fit or and that's what I'm using because

[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_09]: that's the realm in the industry that I'm in but or people can become successful and it's not

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_09]: and it's not gonna cost them anything I think that's the biggest myth that I deal with and probably

[00:22:49] [SPEAKER_09]: is most relatable to anyone in any industry is that I can get what I want for nothing and I love that

[00:22:58] [SPEAKER_09]: is very cool yeah it's not cost me my it just never works it's not a might it's not in fact it's

[00:23:06] [SPEAKER_09]: gonna cost you everything like literally everything and you know that we live in a world once again

[00:23:12] [SPEAKER_09]: that glamorizes and defines success with all the things and you know even certain not

[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_09]: followers on social media and you have these this paid partnerships and things like that

[00:23:26] [SPEAKER_09]: outside of just having things and they causes it cars yes the looks no variety it's yes it's the

[00:23:34] [SPEAKER_09]: yeah it's the cloud what I when I when I find myself getting caught because we're all human

[00:23:41] [SPEAKER_09]: and we all start to fall into that trap of measuring your success based on the wrong standards

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_09]: I try to redefine what I'm after and I discover that when I pursue significance

[00:23:56] [SPEAKER_09]: and influence and impact over what I would describe its success then I can usually

[00:24:05] [SPEAKER_09]: see that I'm making a difference in a lot of ways and that I'm making progress in the ways that I want

[00:24:10] [SPEAKER_09]: to make more so than if I just look at well with like successful today like yeah actually with

[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_09]: I think that I have significant conversation with somebody was I able to have an influence over

[00:24:23] [SPEAKER_09]: anyone even at the end of the day for me it might even just be me and my three little kids like

[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_09]: I can usually find some way that I had some influence had some significance over them

[00:24:35] [SPEAKER_09]: and yeah if I answer that question then I'm able to continue building moments in

[00:24:44] [SPEAKER_09]: gross and through progress and in development and I don't get stuck in this cycle of shame

[00:24:49] [SPEAKER_09]: and feeling like I'm not even making a difference so what is a matter I'm just going to give

[00:24:55] [SPEAKER_05]: up it's so easy to want to I mean I've had a zoom chat where

[00:25:01] [SPEAKER_05]: I wasn't ready to moderate and the panelists were kind of arguing with each other and I just

[00:25:06] [SPEAKER_05]: had to I was like this is too much trouble that it's worth because it was like the third time

[00:25:10] [SPEAKER_05]: to explore my face you know all this on welcome and so I had to say okay I'm just going to send out

[00:25:18] [SPEAKER_05]: some just like a paragraph and email don't treat anyone as hostile as to say hey guys you know

[00:25:24] [SPEAKER_05]: it's not easy editing a bunch of arguments yeah I don't think anyone wants to hear this

[00:25:31] [SPEAKER_05]: don't give me wrong there's someone out there but it's probably not us just

[00:25:35] [SPEAKER_09]: yeah especially the name of the other you will be muted

[00:25:41] [SPEAKER_05]: right I could have even worded it that way I could have said hey you will be thrown out next

[00:25:46] [SPEAKER_05]: time I said you know I'm just going to say well how about we try something different and

[00:25:52] [SPEAKER_05]: the ones who got it got it the others who kind of were used to just kind of

[00:25:58] [SPEAKER_05]: joking around or going too far eventually they eventually they went somewhere else so I was like okay

[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_05]: no one got hurt but no that's true it and in fact we can kind of go a step further instead of

[00:26:17] [SPEAKER_05]: put a number on it put a limit on it yeah and it does seem like for all the excuses we run into

[00:26:28] [SPEAKER_05]: for all the conflict that we try to avoid is like well instead of just having shields up

[00:26:36] [SPEAKER_05]: all the time one at just buying five different alternate roads like in order to fight mine

[00:26:46] [SPEAKER_05]: so I'm the now I always have a workout plan figured out it was like okay gyms not open so today

[00:26:52] [SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to move the one instead yeah that's a dope and great yeah sure but that took two years

[00:26:58] [SPEAKER_05]: to figure that out and uh I'm glad I did but yeah most people would have said oh for good it

[00:27:06] [SPEAKER_09]: yeah it's just like yeah or shirt yes that's a perfect example of learning how to like okay

[00:27:13] [SPEAKER_09]: we want to work out because not only do we want to you know strengthen our bodies but we want to do

[00:27:18] [SPEAKER_09]: something productive yes so being able to find a way that you can be productive and do away

[00:27:26] [SPEAKER_09]: because you're still still exercise um and and then getting something done I think that's great

[00:27:33] [SPEAKER_09]: and the fact that you had to you know you said it took you trial and error to give years to figure out

[00:27:38] [SPEAKER_09]: like even get to the point where you can make that decision but now you're so much more relatable

[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_09]: for somebody who you might need and now you have a way to be like you have empathy for that person who

[00:27:49] [SPEAKER_09]: do you been there and you also can represent hope for that person because they say you know they see

[00:27:57] [SPEAKER_09]: you and you've been there but now you're not there and they're like okay it can happen absolutely

[00:28:02] [SPEAKER_05]: whenever I'm nearby the store I'll send a text and tell people hey you want this or that they got

[00:28:09] [SPEAKER_05]: good deal on this and people say oh it's your money you don't have to do that I'm like well you're not

[00:28:15] [SPEAKER_05]: gonna go to the store anytime soon I'm happy to help out but I think we're also also

[00:28:21] [SPEAKER_05]: just for Peter that we're we're still we kind of much like we have barriers put up that again they

[00:28:29] [SPEAKER_05]: don't mean any harm but it's easy to be reluctant I think it's also we we kind of do this like every

[00:28:36] [SPEAKER_05]: you don't have to get me anything yeah it's like well what do you say that is it because

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_05]: you're used to getting something you have no use for or is it because you're afraid you know

[00:28:47] [SPEAKER_05]: they're not they're overspending or something and can be a bit of boat but

[00:28:51] [SPEAKER_09]: yeah that is a huge indicator that something is going on so I that's something I struggled with

[00:28:58] [SPEAKER_09]: for a good while was being able to receive help receive gifts without without the constant

[00:29:05] [SPEAKER_09]: nagging feeling this I was on work like on worthy of it so while it's always in the form

[00:29:12] [SPEAKER_05]: of a nagg like what are it's something we're telling ourselves like we're not worthy of this

[00:29:17] [SPEAKER_05]: or you don't have to do that you're overthinking it I would do the whole oh and sometimes

[00:29:23] [SPEAKER_05]: it's easy to be we can be a little more hostile to ourselves we can do the whole oh you idiot

[00:29:28] [SPEAKER_05]: it's like well hold on we don't have to name call ourselves that's only

[00:29:31] [SPEAKER_09]: for luring our frustration yeah so something that was transformative for me and this so almost

[00:29:39] [SPEAKER_09]: a year exactly ago like next week will be a year exactly ago my little girl

[00:29:47] [SPEAKER_09]: she was one at the time she had a stroke which is like very rare we went we ended up being in the

[00:30:01] [SPEAKER_09]: therapy it was a huge traumatic experience for our whole family but so there's a lot of

[00:30:10] [SPEAKER_09]: healing and stuff and growth that took place through that experience but one of the things that

[00:30:15] [SPEAKER_09]: I can say changed in the it was the ability to receive help I was so desperate we were stuck in the

[00:30:23] [SPEAKER_09]: hospital I have two other kids I have three kids total my other two kids my husband and I would

[00:30:29] [SPEAKER_09]: just switch and take turns one of us staying at the hospital with our daughter and the other one

[00:30:33] [SPEAKER_09]: taking care of our other two kids you know and of course it was like the beginning of school last

[00:30:38] [SPEAKER_09]: year and it was my other one of my sons first day at school and we could not get our craft together

[00:30:45] [SPEAKER_09]: and have not been for friends and family that came alongside and blessed us with meals and

[00:30:52] [SPEAKER_09]: you know taking helping like harmful our kids and so and I was so overwhelmed with gratitude

[00:30:59] [SPEAKER_09]: it was like I could never have the thought of it maybe feel like I could never repay these people

[00:31:06] [SPEAKER_09]: like I can this is too much I could never it made me realize that in the past anytime somebody

[00:31:12] [SPEAKER_09]: was to do something nice for me it's almost like I was keeping score like I was like I need to go

[00:31:18] [SPEAKER_09]: do something nice with it and honestly that wasn't that's not that's not me expressing gratitude

[00:31:24] [SPEAKER_09]: like expressing that type of gratitude is I will never be able to repay you and I am so thankful

[00:31:32] [SPEAKER_09]: that you are blessing me this way like it was just a new level of instead of I owe you or

[00:31:38] [SPEAKER_09]: square it's yeah exactly you you're the person you can't do that like yeah like you can't you can't

[00:31:46] [SPEAKER_09]: keep up with this this extreme generosity that you are experiencing you'll never be able to meet

[00:31:54] [SPEAKER_09]: that standard because you know I had we had people praying for us that we don't even know

[00:31:59] [SPEAKER_09]: like sweet message just sweet yes and I just I still like I don't have the words to describe

[00:32:07] [SPEAKER_09]: the level of gratitude that I felt and then I still feel to this day you know

[00:32:13] [SPEAKER_05]: I'm glad you brought that up because I do feel like again that that is another avenue where

[00:32:17] [SPEAKER_05]: everyone likes to go oh I'm admitting defeat is like well let's no we're being realistic here

[00:32:24] [SPEAKER_05]: yeah I've helped out friends who weren't taking advantage of me who were like hey I really need

[00:32:29] [SPEAKER_05]: help with the rent and so I was helping to move out I was helping them and I just thought I'd said

[00:32:35] [SPEAKER_05]: you don't owe me a quarter you don't owe me anything you're not you're you're making as much as

[00:32:41] [SPEAKER_05]: your spending just you don't owe me anything yeah because it's a gift to the person giving when

[00:32:48] [SPEAKER_09]: you're generous you know I think we can all testify to that but it it's still good to be able to

[00:32:54] [SPEAKER_09]: deposit goodness to others right without without feeling like they're gonna just give it right back

[00:33:01] [SPEAKER_05]: yeah absolutely it's it's not the same as hey I'm paying for royalties like no no no no no

[00:33:09] [SPEAKER_05]: not at all this is not that no hold bar this is just you were in a bind you needed help you know

[00:33:17] [SPEAKER_05]: yeah yeah but at the same time what would you say yeah we we mentioned money a lot

[00:33:24] [SPEAKER_05]: uh would you say people sometimes don't know how to budget certain courses like how much

[00:33:31] [SPEAKER_05]: sort of willing to spend versus how much they're willing to pay for certain

[00:33:36] [SPEAKER_09]: instruction on fitness yeah I would definitely say that I think people will there's a lot

[00:33:43] [SPEAKER_09]: competition if it is yes like what I do I provide I try to at least that's my intention

[00:33:50] [SPEAKER_09]: if that I provide elements of the accountability elements of customization personalization

[00:33:56] [SPEAKER_09]: that you're not gonna get by just joining a gym for $25 a month you know and it's so I think

[00:34:05] [SPEAKER_09]: people are maybe sometimes throw enough by that the idea like well why would I hire you

[00:34:11] [SPEAKER_09]: yes like when I could just go do this and you know and if I if somebody mentioned that to me

[00:34:17] [SPEAKER_09]: for example in an inquiry or you know some sort of strategy session that I have with them I know

[00:34:22] [SPEAKER_09]: that they're just not ready to work with me they're not my ideal client because my ideal client

[00:34:27] [SPEAKER_09]: it's hungry for change they they understand that I've been there done that I tried it I tried to do it

[00:34:32] [SPEAKER_09]: on my own and I've been unsuccessful before and I'm ready like ready to do whatever you say

[00:34:37] [SPEAKER_09]: not in the sense that I'm gonna just be authoritative but but basically they are each of them

[00:34:43] [SPEAKER_09]: and humble enough yes I think a lot of times people once again are unwilling to admit that

[00:34:49] [SPEAKER_09]: they don't know everything and really down deep I think they're just fearful of being screwed over

[00:34:55] [SPEAKER_09]: or scams and probably because they have been before we'll return after these messages

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[00:36:23] [SPEAKER_05]: hey I'm a desk in the five meds questions but like you said sometimes it can be a little in your face like

[00:36:29] [SPEAKER_09]: oh okay yes I try to make it I try to make it like doable for people I offer installments and

[00:36:38] [SPEAKER_09]: everything and I understand it isn't investment but I want to be able to deliver on that investment

[00:36:45] [SPEAKER_09]: and I will be cap is a coach if the person is not willing to take the investment and make the

[00:36:54] [SPEAKER_09]: investment to themselves because I can tell them tell them what they're supposed to do but if they

[00:36:58] [SPEAKER_05]: don't do it it's not gonna work you know it's almost we just say it's almost kind of like being

[00:37:05] [SPEAKER_05]: a professor is like okay I'm gonna spend more time on the one who did the extra credit versus

[00:37:10] [SPEAKER_05]: you know or ask me five questions versus there are always in the back disinterested.

[00:37:17] [SPEAKER_09]: very sure that's yeah that's exactly how it is I mean the person who wants to learn

[00:37:22] [SPEAKER_09]: I want to work with that person the person who's hungry for information the person who's hungry for

[00:37:27] [SPEAKER_09]: feed back who's I mean I even use that sometimes like I would say it's not as intentional

[00:37:36] [SPEAKER_09]: it wasn't as intentional in the beginning as I see it now happening in my in my settings or like my

[00:37:44] [SPEAKER_09]: process so my process has like I need you to watch this video and then respond

[00:37:51] [SPEAKER_09]: doing like respond to these questions and if people can't even watch that out of the video

[00:37:57] [SPEAKER_09]: and respond to the question well I happen this is only gonna work if we're communicating you know it's like

[00:38:04] [SPEAKER_09]: this isn't gonna work if you don't respond to the question because power we're supposed to have

[00:38:08] [SPEAKER_09]: a conversation how am I supposed to help keep you accountable you know and I will say that that's

[00:38:12] [SPEAKER_09]: part of what is part about working with people virtually are online only when I see you at a

[00:38:20] [SPEAKER_09]: personal training session or I see you in a class that I'm teaching it's a lot easier to

[00:38:25] [SPEAKER_09]: establish that rapport and our relationship with that person but I mean yeah that is a limited

[00:38:34] [SPEAKER_05]: uh speaking of lunch what do you think if you were to just break it this down right now

[00:38:41] [SPEAKER_05]: is what are free things we should just always eliminate when beginning any kind of workout session

[00:38:54] [SPEAKER_09]: okay are you talking like practically like like foods too limited or like mind that

[00:39:05] [SPEAKER_05]: definitely more of a mindset like let's just say something that affects any workout session

[00:39:13] [SPEAKER_09]: um a little bit of a smile that's okay number one I would say get rid of the perfectionism

[00:39:22] [SPEAKER_09]: standard don't be a perfectionist um nobody is perfect and although that's said over and over again

[00:39:33] [SPEAKER_09]: it's we've all heard of that saying and that phrase and we we know that we don't believe that a lot

[00:39:41] [SPEAKER_09]: of the times yeah I will say you know I'll write I'll be the first one to raise my hand it says me

[00:39:46] [SPEAKER_09]: because a lot of the times I believe that I can be perfect and then when I'm not I'm disappointed so

[00:39:53] [SPEAKER_09]: not that you need to have a very low self image but don't expect yourself to be perfect

[00:40:02] [SPEAKER_09]: then therefore when you do have these successes you can actually celebrate so I'll say the second one

[00:40:11] [SPEAKER_09]: would be don't compare yourself to others eliminate this need to compare yourself to anyone around you

[00:40:21] [SPEAKER_09]: which is so hard to break it's a daily struggle I don't know I don't know it's I'm sure

[00:40:29] [SPEAKER_09]: it's for all of us men and women but I think women especially like for whatever reason

[00:40:35] [SPEAKER_09]: we size each other up all day every day and it's just ridiculous um so getting around people who

[00:40:43] [SPEAKER_09]: are true I call them true blue friends like people who are gonna be your friends who are going to tell you

[00:40:47] [SPEAKER_09]: the truth who you can have the conversations with and share these vulnerabilities even like

[00:40:55] [SPEAKER_09]: even being able to say like I struggle with comparing myself to you and to Agro over there you know

[00:41:01] [SPEAKER_09]: this girl on Instagram or whatever even being able to admit it to somebody is that's a good step

[00:41:07] [SPEAKER_09]: forward but getting rid of this idea that you need to compare yourself to anyone because here's the thing

[00:41:11] [SPEAKER_09]: comparison either in slate your self image where you go I'm better than her or I'm better than her

[00:41:17] [SPEAKER_09]: or it does the opposite and you go she's like I suck and I'm fat and ugly and all these things or

[00:41:25] [SPEAKER_09]: it's like it does no good um and I would say there's probably more but the next the next thing so

[00:41:33] [SPEAKER_09]: the third thing would be don't also don't compare yourself to a former version of you and I had to

[00:41:40] [SPEAKER_09]: learn this in different seasons of my life because um so I come from a bodybuilding background so

[00:41:46] [SPEAKER_09]: I did bodybuilding competitions and I mean we're I was maintaining like three to six percent body

[00:41:52] [SPEAKER_09]: and it was ridiculous and actually I wasn't very healthy at all because you're just nobody's

[00:41:58] [SPEAKER_09]: really that healthy when you are a woman at that low low body fat percentage but a lot of the time

[00:42:05] [SPEAKER_09]: then I had three babies so then not only has it been 10 years after that but three babies on top of

[00:42:11] [SPEAKER_09]: that my body is different and so instead of comparing myself to my wife back then as like this

[00:42:18] [SPEAKER_09]: was a misunderstanding or a fitness I have to like almost have a measet like volunteerly

[00:42:25] [SPEAKER_09]: forget what I used to think fitness looks like and what I used to think fitness success looks like

[00:42:32] [SPEAKER_09]: and redefine what that means to me. Am I stronger you know look checking your physical

[00:42:40] [SPEAKER_09]: performance am I able to perform it think am I improving certain movements or if I'm running you know

[00:42:46] [SPEAKER_09]: endurance and distances am I um do I feel better do my clothes fit well um do I like the way I look

[00:42:55] [SPEAKER_09]: in pictures you know things like that and again if you're gonna have yes to all those questions

[00:43:02] [SPEAKER_09]: then you also have to address that fitness and I'm going to add a bonus one to this but like the other

[00:43:07] [SPEAKER_09]: mindset I would say you have to eliminate is that success and fitness is is only

[00:43:17] [SPEAKER_09]: aesthetic and it's that is got to be out out there because the only success in fitness that you have

[00:43:25] [SPEAKER_09]: is actually doesn't make you a better human being. So one day your body is in a fail

[00:43:32] [SPEAKER_09]: and die and nobody's gonna remember how good your butt looked or how much you could then stress

[00:43:40] [SPEAKER_09]: they're gonna remember how they mean how you made them feel and the influence that

[00:43:45] [SPEAKER_05]: you had beyond your fitness capacity. There you go I have some scientists in my family and they're all

[00:43:51] [SPEAKER_05]: like hey you know even if you did live to the official age you know it's more you're

[00:44:01] [SPEAKER_05]: yourselves eventually will develop some kind of cancer just because you know the body has a limit

[00:44:07] [SPEAKER_05]: we're just about living the best possible life instead of you know eating stuff that we know

[00:44:14] [SPEAKER_05]: isn't great but we keep eating it anyway you know so but but that is also what I really adored when

[00:44:22] [SPEAKER_05]: I want to your website and it's like wow you're you're taking away the personal image but you

[00:44:30] [SPEAKER_05]: really hitting home on that and it's like okay if this is the part of the workout that you're going

[00:44:34] [SPEAKER_05]: for we can work on this versus you know other day-to-day stuff you can sneak in. I take it you've

[00:44:43] [SPEAKER_05]: of high-intensity training. Yes. Yeah it's such a time savers and that you know. Yes oh absolutely it is.

[00:44:51] [SPEAKER_05]: Especially in the holidays where you're like I need to get a workout and before we sit down for

[00:44:56] [SPEAKER_08]: Thanksgiving you know. Yeah yeah very true. I'm thankful that I didn't so well. Yeah yeah.

[00:45:05] [SPEAKER_09]: Oh yeah I just want to say thank you for noticing that about my content because I try really hard

[00:45:12] [SPEAKER_09]: to use that that is what I'm most passionate about you know obviously I love working out

[00:45:19] [SPEAKER_09]: but beyond that I want my workouts to mean more than just some good information.

[00:45:26] [SPEAKER_09]: Hey do this workout. Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:45:29] [SPEAKER_05]: Oh my um so when making a website like this what what tips would you have on where people need to

[00:45:39] [SPEAKER_05]: spend more time on you know should they spend more time on building the side versus making sure

[00:45:47] [SPEAKER_05]: the messages crystal clear. It's a bit of both but like what do you think is yeah a little more.

[00:45:54] [SPEAKER_09]: Okay definitely well the things on what you wanted to right like if you wanted wanting to be a coach

[00:46:01] [SPEAKER_09]: then there's probably I probably have a different hands-bere versus somebody who just wants to be

[00:46:06] [SPEAKER_09]: a coach or media or you know just be an influencer or and then somebody who you know you

[00:46:14] [SPEAKER_09]: just want to write like I'm also just an I'm an author so for me it's been difficult because

[00:46:21] [SPEAKER_09]: I've done little bits of work in presenting myself and you know you only have the

[00:46:28] [SPEAKER_09]: X amount of energy and time and so I feel like sometimes I'll pour a lot of my energy into my social

[00:46:33] [SPEAKER_09]: media and that takes away from my energy and coaching the clients I have and then that takes away

[00:46:39] [SPEAKER_09]: the energy from promoting my book or even writing other content. And so

[00:46:44] [SPEAKER_09]: I would say that probably and I don't I'm not the technology

[00:46:50] [SPEAKER_09]: and digital creation expert at all but my

[00:46:56] [SPEAKER_09]: experience in my speculation is that the website is less important than

[00:47:03] [SPEAKER_09]: the conversation platforms you have. So however you can get in front of people and again I don't know

[00:47:12] [SPEAKER_09]: if this is the fact but I feel like less and less people are actually going to people's websites

[00:47:18] [SPEAKER_09]: and you're more or so yeah connecting with people either on social media or I mean honestly yeah it's

[00:47:29] [SPEAKER_09]: all the link trees like you can just yes directly from there even YouTube.

[00:47:35] [SPEAKER_05]: If you click on any of the five it's a win but yeah it's a it's a waste they don't get it or

[00:47:43] [SPEAKER_09]: don't get it yeah I mean I have my website on my social media and I don't know I've been a lot

[00:47:49] [SPEAKER_09]: of time trying to develop and I think it looks good I pay somebody to help me I started making my

[00:47:55] [SPEAKER_09]: website and then realized I do not have the mental capacity to learn all this so I hired someone

[00:48:00] [SPEAKER_09]: to finish it and I'm so thankful that I did because I think it works and looks well and professional

[00:48:07] [SPEAKER_09]: but I'm almost like you put a limit on yeah I probably don't need it

[00:48:12] [SPEAKER_09]: I mean I like it because people can clearly see everything that I offer

[00:48:18] [SPEAKER_09]: but I don't need it. It's five different species. Yeah yeah you can learn a lot about me

[00:48:30] [SPEAKER_05]: it'll definitely make it easier for if someone books you at a conference is like they can already

[00:48:35] [SPEAKER_09]: copy paste the parts they like yeah that's true and you know part of them and then this is me

[00:48:41] [SPEAKER_09]: seeing the value in the process always even if I look back and retrospect and I go hey I probably shouldn't

[00:48:48] [SPEAKER_09]: always value it because even as I was building out of sight having to think about okay what

[00:48:56] [SPEAKER_09]: do I do how do I help people and having to write it down and write it concisely and is it

[00:49:04] [SPEAKER_09]: digestible for people like do they will they understand it and so there's value in that because

[00:49:09] [SPEAKER_09]: then you're having to once again decide who you want to be you know and and re-implement and keep

[00:49:18] [SPEAKER_09]: hammering away at who you are and that just defines everything. I feel like that's also kind of what

[00:49:26] [SPEAKER_05]: it is is people don't know how to define what they want you do. It seems like

[00:49:37] [SPEAKER_09]: no but that's huge that's exactly people don't know what about lining yeah people don't know what they want

[00:49:45] [SPEAKER_09]: because they don't they don't know who they are and I think they've been so used to being told

[00:49:54] [SPEAKER_09]: what they should want and who they think they should be because the world tells us and I mean

[00:50:03] [SPEAKER_09]: if you've read my book you know like that's it for me is I have to know who I am

[00:50:09] [SPEAKER_09]: before so that I don't allow the world to tell me who I am because otherwise I'll start believing

[00:50:16] [SPEAKER_05]: whatever the world's telling me. Perfect yeah don't kind of even goes back to the social media thing

[00:50:24] [SPEAKER_05]: be on there when you need to be when I don't need to be goodnight well yes yes.

[00:50:33] [SPEAKER_05]: Oh that this has been a delight this has been just nothing but positivity which but even then

[00:50:40] [SPEAKER_05]: I was actually not even positivity but like we went even beyond the thickest because

[00:50:43] [SPEAKER_05]: oh I so glad to hear that. Well and much like positivity costs nothing a lot of people are kind of just

[00:50:51] [SPEAKER_05]: afraid to kind of end in an opposition note it's like what we're not saying lighter yourselves

[00:50:57] [SPEAKER_05]: but you know like any bit of progress you made you know that's a good day you know.

[00:51:03] [SPEAKER_09]: Yes yes you have to you have to learn how to spin things.

[00:51:09] [SPEAKER_09]: Yes and again yeah it's not about lying to yourself you have to do one good no no yeah

[00:51:14] [SPEAKER_05]: you're what that should come out as your closer to the end of the tunnel.

[00:51:19] [SPEAKER_09]: Yeah actually you failed miserably and don't ever do that again.

[00:51:23] [SPEAKER_09]: Yeah there you go. That's how that we can learn from that. You won't be repeating this day that's a

[00:51:28] [SPEAKER_05]: way. Yeah exactly. And and I guess just back to the whole deal of you know fitness is

[00:51:38] [SPEAKER_05]: there to just help you just do better in your world sure it's annoying to have to work it in with

[00:51:43] [SPEAKER_05]: all the other stuff you got scheduled whatever that might be renewing your driver's license

[00:51:47] [SPEAKER_05]: have a good conference you know working with second job but in the end you're glad you're doing it

[00:51:54] [SPEAKER_09]: you know because yeah I mean I think it's like if you want to be excellent which I think

[00:52:02] [SPEAKER_09]: we were designed and we were created by God to be excellent like it doesn't matter you can

[00:52:08] [SPEAKER_09]: have somebody say I don't know like here I'm happy with who I am or I'm content with my life

[00:52:13] [SPEAKER_09]: but I don't believe people when they say that. I believe that was I believe everybody has something

[00:52:19] [SPEAKER_09]: in them that wants to be significant and in order to be significant you have to pursue

[00:52:28] [SPEAKER_09]: excellence and in order to pursue excellence you have to train yourself like you have it takes practice

[00:52:34] [SPEAKER_09]: or not we're born like completely dependent and miserable little beings that depend on our

[00:52:41] [SPEAKER_09]: bodies for everything and on somebody else to take care of us and we have to it's like I have

[00:52:47] [SPEAKER_09]: to train my kids on how to be healthy adults. I have to train myself that training doesn't

[00:52:54] [SPEAKER_09]: end with when they become adults they have to therefore take on that role of now they're training

[00:52:59] [SPEAKER_09]: themselves on how to be responsible on how to be selfless and not selfish which is what comes natural

[00:53:07] [SPEAKER_09]: I don't feel like it. I think of others yeah. Why don't you feel like it? Exactly you have to

[00:53:14] [SPEAKER_09]: train yourself to be generous instead of stingy and we all have things that we have to work harder

[00:53:19] [SPEAKER_09]: at based on our environment when we were little or our current job, our personalities like there are

[00:53:26] [SPEAKER_09]: things like my husband is just naturally very generous like he doesn't really even I mean I shouldn't

[00:53:32] [SPEAKER_09]: say it isn't worried about money but it doesn't stress him out like when I think it should be

[00:53:37] [SPEAKER_09]: should be doing him out it doesn't but for me it does and that's partly because of my personality

[00:53:43] [SPEAKER_09]: and partly because of my history growing up I always like we never we were told we never had enough

[00:53:49] [SPEAKER_05]: so yeah naturally stress don't expect much if you want to ever have this appointment and the book

[00:53:56] [SPEAKER_05]: does a good job of saying don't resort to any kind of disappointment just resort to just again just

[00:54:04] [SPEAKER_05]: progress every day and I'm had to do this with so many things like hey I don't use this kind of

[00:54:10] [SPEAKER_05]: insurance how about I try this insurance hey I'm not doing much at this after school program or at

[00:54:16] [SPEAKER_05]: this church maybe I should try this group instead might be better to you know instead it just

[00:54:22] [SPEAKER_05]: well I'm gonna just stop going I don't need it in my life anymore is like and then months go by

[00:54:29] [SPEAKER_09]: I kind of need that back yes yeah that comes back to eliminating that perfectionistic mindset

[00:54:37] [SPEAKER_09]: because you're not trying to be perfect you're just trying to be a little bit better like there's

[00:54:42] [SPEAKER_09]: a mantra that I speak to myself when I'm dying in my workouts and in particular like um on my long

[00:54:49] [SPEAKER_09]: runs and there's always a point in my run where I'm like oh I just be doing it like it's like

[00:54:55] [SPEAKER_09]: just a little more just a little more and it's like instead of thinking to myself no you

[00:55:04] [SPEAKER_09]: have to actually do like three more miles because you're stupid and you ran off and now the only

[00:55:08] [SPEAKER_09]: way to get home is three more you know like whatever I just think okay just make it to that tree

[00:55:13] [SPEAKER_09]: okay now you've made it to that tree okay just make it to that light you know it's like

[00:55:16] [SPEAKER_09]: just take it in little pieces and just take it a little bit more instead of thinking you have

[00:55:21] [SPEAKER_09]: all this road to go you have a little bit more there you go there you go there you go and

[00:55:31] [SPEAKER_05]: yes it's always your said then done but at the same time it isn't if that's also makes sense like this yeah

[00:55:37] [SPEAKER_09]: and it's okay that it isn't it's okay that it's okay that it's hard it doesn't mean it's wrong

[00:55:46] [SPEAKER_05]: yes again yeah no don't kill a nice it don't yeah I'm saying it's impossible and at the same time

[00:55:53] [SPEAKER_05]: like we're doing more than just saying hey man I can do this it's also you know whatever will make

[00:56:02] [SPEAKER_05]: those minutes go by faster you know this and well once again just lovely chat very engaging I

[00:56:13] [SPEAKER_05]: um well let's okay for airdate how about we go for third week of September does that sound good

[00:56:25] [SPEAKER_05]: yeah whatever whatever original authors would yeah okay cool but we're all right show so we have a

[00:56:33] [SPEAKER_09]: bit of stuff for everybody but yeah that's awesome well I really appreciate you

[00:56:38] [SPEAKER_05]: reaching out to me and encouraging you thanks again for Instagram like it was on fun

[00:56:44] [SPEAKER_05]: I'm like I should talk to this person oh thank you oh my lovely and

[00:56:52] [SPEAKER_05]: you know again you know like with any of these chats anyone who just wants to be like

[00:57:06] [SPEAKER_05]: with anyone let them know what you're thinking um my brother teaches for the Arizona Brewers

[00:57:12] [SPEAKER_05]: and he has kind of a similar deal where he he has to help them develop their own formula

[00:57:18] [SPEAKER_05]: maybe between game time versus personal life and yeah he gets plenty of the ones

[00:57:24] [SPEAKER_05]: and that's don't really have a game plan so he's like well do you want to develop a game plan

[00:57:31] [SPEAKER_05]: yeah and but he didn't find that overnight you know like used to teach for the Texans

[00:57:36] [SPEAKER_05]: Rangers and Oxford short that team was like we no longer want your expertise we got a different staff

[00:57:43] [SPEAKER_05]: with a person who hired you is no longer working here so the entire staff has to go

[00:57:48] [SPEAKER_05]: another personal and that hurt because he's not okay but then that made him go I need to

[00:57:56] [SPEAKER_05]: list I'm getting comfortable and more time working on my brand what I can offer the other team

[00:58:03] [SPEAKER_05]: who does want me and yeah so really what it was was a few weeks of crying and then

[00:58:10] [SPEAKER_09]: figuring it out I'm like yeah I'm impressed there you go yeah that's awesome what a cool deal

[00:58:16] [SPEAKER_05]: yeah and other people would have been like you know I need to get out of this place while I'm

[00:58:21] [SPEAKER_05]: still ahead it's like no that's not yeah stop stop waiting for a reason to exist

[00:58:33] [SPEAKER_09]: yeah well do you need anything else from me or we got a

[00:58:40] [SPEAKER_05]: yeah so we we we got all the links we got a cool promo image everything I think we're good to go

[00:58:46] [SPEAKER_05]: on this end thank you thanks a million and thank you for your questions and saying this all up

[00:58:52] [SPEAKER_05]: yeah I appreciate you thanks Pam absolutely Mr. Becca and once again you have a wonderful

[00:58:58] [SPEAKER_05]: rest of the year and here's the positivity yeah sounds good okay let's pause the

[00:59:04] [SPEAKER_08]: video yeah yeah all right you say about there thank you