No-Budget Filmmaking Disasters Ep1: Libby Cudmore

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[00:00:10] You are the first in one of 10 side episodes called No Budget Filmmaking Disasters before we get to our main episode. You're a movie hound. I just know you'll be up to the challenge.

[00:01:13] All right, let's smell this. It is exactly as the title says, a no-budget filmmaking experience. You can't opt out of the film and you don't have enough money to settle a contract dispute. Those are pretty much the only rules. So for instance, you can't refuse to get the movie done, but you can hire someone else to get it done. You can fire people or trick them into leaving unless otherwise stated. You can extort money from a mobsterowing producer, for instance, or bribe an actor to do the film, but you can't just straight up be like, I'm out per game rules.

[00:01:44] Okay. Murder is not encouraged, but it's not against the rules. Just saying. Okay, okay. It's all fun and games, guys. Good Lord. This is all improv. So basically, you'll overcome free obstacles based on the decisions you make. Everything else is fair game. Okay. I'm giving you a role of a line producer. For those who don't know, that's the person keeping track of what days to film per budget-ding reasons.

[00:02:10] And you've been given a mystery movie, which needs a bunch of rewrites, has a sexy yet unconvincing cast, and it's slated to be another schlocky Netflix film. Oh boy. Oh boy. That's it. That you can go anywhere you want with it. Okay. Oh boy.

[00:02:37] The mystery sucks. The cast is unconvincing, but they look hot and it's going straight to Netflix. Well, let's narrow down locations. Let's set it in a strip mall. Perfect. Don't have to stop. Actually, I'm going to change that. We're going to set it in an abandoned mall. That way we have interior shots, so we don't have to worry about weather. Wonderful.

[00:03:07] Okay. All right. So production goes pretty well. The director finally gets the actors out of their shell. One of them finally gives a performance that they can't even explain where it came from, but they're feeling comfortable. You've given some rewrites. The production looks great. The cameraman is doing wonders with a very small skill, natural lit set. Sure enough, the property owner finds out what you guys are doing and offers to pitch in.

[00:03:33] So you've got it done ahead of time. You got a little extra money to save. Everyone's finally getting trailers, so they're really happy. Catering is good. Unfortunately, then there's more storms frequently and it starts shattering some of the glass in the studio. What are you going to do? We're going to work it into the film. Because it's a murder, why wouldn't there be shattered glass? Oh, perfect. So you're going to write it in.

[00:03:57] Yep. We're going to write a scene where they chop up some old shelves left behind in an abandoned Macy's and put those up over the shattered windows. But will it be enough? Oh, lovely. To keep out the killer unless the killer is already inside. Perfect. Okay, so production wraps. The director is thanking you uproariously.

[00:04:26] Oh, you saved him or bacon on this one. That's a great change to the plot. I didn't like the original ending anyway, blah, blah, blah. You get to the editing room. He makes the mistake of bringing the ego headed star into the editing room with him. You happen to be there, fortunately that day to fill out all the remaining paperwork. What do you do? I start praising the star for his work.

[00:04:50] And then offer to take him out to some sort of lunch where he'll be seen by paparazzi and can talk up the new work and his new love life. Oh, perfect. The movie gets done ahead of time. You are asked to helm various other made for the Internet, made for TV movies because of the experience.

[00:05:16] Netflix actually asks a lot of the cast and crew to return, giving how it's a rating sensation. And you prevent that you go ahead and starve from fucking up the movie. So perfect. I did it. Conflict management is so important. Yep. Being able to think on one. Can you tell I worked in a community theater? I couldn't tell that, but you definitely had some office management skills where you're like, oh, no, no.

[00:05:44] I'm going to prevent this from becoming a toxic HR meeting. Yep. So I have all the all the skills to do that. Let's see if I can put them to work in real life. You are good at improv. Give yourself a little try. I got it. Awesome. Awesome. First episode of no budget filmmaking disasters. We'll return after these messages.

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