Mystery Movie Double Feature Minisode: The Crimson Rivers 1 & 2 starring Jean Reno!

[00:00:00] This podcast is a production of Unfiltered Studios. If you would like to know more about joining Unfiltered Studios, please visit our website at unfpod.com for more information.

[00:00:57] So we're getting into some other mini-sodes and I have yet to see anybody take these on and hence why we're basically a cult movie, TV, book, and comic, podcast, even video games. But yeah, I thought I'd go into even deeper cuts by discussing the Crimson Rivers movies.

[00:01:21] They're based on a book and like many movies, they owed so much to other Hollywood serial killer films like Silence of the Lambs and Seven.

[00:01:34] The first one especially was even noted by many critics as being similar to the original version of Insomnia, as well as having some adventure sequences that felt like they belonged in something like Cliffhanger or the River Wild.

[00:01:54] The first one was pretty much the crowd pleaser. It had two detectives both played by Vincent Castle, who's playing a good guy for once, and Jean Reno, who's playing a good guy for once as opposed to the anti-hero or the military guy or douchebag, you know. And they were just hard-boiled, they were slow burn, well acted. They had some plot holes and some people complained that the fight scenes weren't necessarily realistic, but it didn't matter.

[00:02:24] It just, Matthew Kosovitz, who had acted in movies like Emily and Munich and had originally achieved some fame with doing the excellent 90s crime drama Lahain, which stands for hate.

[00:02:42] He's done some other movies as well, which I need to play on my Regent Free Player one of these days, but he kind of gets a bad rap just because he tried a few movies in the States that weren't well received like Babylon AD and, uh, just, you know, Gothica. But yeah, I think for the most part, he's a pretty well-liked guy just because his movies are just so compelling.

[00:03:12] Like, they make use of their small budget and seem bigger than they actually are. And he adapted this book that was, that translated to Blood Red Rivers by Jean-Christophe Grange, who was a journalist before setting up his own press agency and authoring all kinds of books.

[00:03:33] And, uh, but yeah, I only knew about this because, you know, uh, later on they became, they were produced by Jean-Luc Besson's company. Uh, we'll get more onto that later, but, uh, I figured it was time to do this just cause now there's a TV show that's had a few seasons now and it's being compared to X-Files and Criminal Minds just cause it has a lot of creepier visions.

[00:03:58] And it's probably, you can probably find it airing on your local PBS right now, but I haven't gotten into that yet and that'll be a review for another day. Uh, but yeah, I mean, the first movie, all I can say is it's rightfully gotten a Blu-ray treatment. It is a gorgeous looking film about ugly subject matter and it's just a very taut and rewarding real ride. Just case closed. No one is missing it.

[00:04:30] And apparently, uh, Vincent Castle has been quoted. The actor is saying he can't even explain the film because a lot of the exposition was cut out. Uh, according to the director who found it boring. And I guess he's alone. I found the movie pretty self-explanatory. Uh, but. Hey, teach their own.

[00:04:55] So, it came out with a sequel and, you know, the original was in 2000 and the sequel came out in 2004. And it was called, you know, Crimson Rivers 2 Angels of the Apocalypse. And this, I unfortunately saw this first. Uh, Luc Besson was also responsible for writing it.

[00:05:17] Uh, I think just whoever the director, Olivier Dahan, who, despite doing a great job with Levy and Rose, the period drama award-winning movie. Uh, he's apparently done some other promising films, but, uh, yeah. I, I don't know, man.

[00:05:44] Like, this felt like a poorly done, like, Michael Bay produced or lesser Tony Scott film. I know he's done other, the director's done other stuff like the period drama of Grayson Monaco, which is very awful. So, uh, I will give him some more chances, but, man, it was rough.

[00:06:03] And, uh, I think the reason was it's just, it showed, I have nothing wrong with violence, but, like, it showed it in a way where it was, like, it felt like, you know, much like 8mm was, like, a lesser version of 7, it kind of was, like, one of the lesser 7 knockoffs. Like, it just showed you all these morbid, gratuitous crime scenes. It was like, see, look at it, can you believe what you're seeing? And it was just one of those, like, uh, no thank you.

[00:06:33] I don't, I don't need to see this. It's not shocking, it's not taught, it's not getting me riled up to root for the heroes to take down the awful, you know, serial killers. And due to Bassan's involvement, it just feels like one of his other kung fu movies. So, you know, Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen, it does not mix at all, the fight scenes are lame,

[00:06:58] they're just too shaky, and nothing against the leading man, uh, Bennett, uh, Majamel. He was doing his best job. Um, he's apparently done a lot of other French movies, uh, like The Piano Teacher, which is an erotic psychological drama from a line. He's done all kinds of other, uh, TV. Even has dubbed the Kindle in Pixar's Toy Story 3.

[00:07:25] Uh, he was in Special Forces, the 2011 war movie with Diane Kruger and Jamal Hanzhou. So, he's done some other stuff. He's exploding. Uh, but yeah, this is the first thing I saw him in, and I could just tell, like, they just wanted him to be a handsome detective who kicks ass for no reason. We don't know why he has his special sets of skills. It was... John Reno was pretty much anchoring the movie, even though it let him down.

[00:07:51] He had just generic dialogue to shout out, and the action just sucked. Like, the car chases were just there just because they needed to pan out the movie, not because it was moving the story along and earning the excitement. So, long story short, it was almost... Before you can say, holy, you know, Da Vinci Code, it's just involving all these monks who are, like, serial killers and no kung fu, and they form this secretive cult. They're searching for a treasure hidden by King Lothair II.

[00:08:21] That's right. I love the ring thing. Ah, I can't fucking pronounce the date. And Christopher Lee was the main European bad guy, and so he's pretty much back in James Bond mode. But I was intrigued. I'm like, oh my god, you know, everyone's favorite villain actor. You know, Dracula, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings. And it's like, nope, they didn't give him anything good to do.

[00:08:47] He kills himself just because, like, he's making this part of the sacrifice. It just felt like they had watched too many comic book movies like X-Men or Blade. You know, the fun, you know, pre-MCU phase. And I just never added up together. And they had a religious specialist. Crap, crap, crap. It was bad. It was absolutely one of the worst movies I've seen.

[00:09:17] Just because, again, just nothing is earned. It's just hackneyed. The music video style editing isn't even cool. It's just... This river did not flow, so to speak. So, now that you've got my lame dad joke. Yeah. But if there's any good compliment I can say about it, it got me into the original movie. So, there you got it.

[00:09:45] It made me aware of that other movie's existence. And I don't know why the other movie does not get aired all that much on TV. Because it would have been... You know, it would keep finding an audience if it were on something like Shudder, 2B, Prime, Screenbox, anything. So, shame on them for not redistributing it. Like, it is a must-see movie, the first one.

[00:10:13] The second one they should just put up, just so I don't have to make these movies be such a mystery. But, yeah. It was bad. I would... I don't know if... I think they used to have a two-pack of them. But, yeah. Check out the first one. And... Use the second one as a sleeping pill. Other than that, yeah. That's pretty much all to be said.

[00:10:44] And I will definitely check out the TV show at some point in the future. And thank you all for listening. We'll return after these messages. If you like small-town mystery, crazy news, and wild history, then the Florida Men on Florida Man podcast is for you.

[00:11:10] Each week, Josh Mills and Wayne McCarty bring you the absolute best Florida has to offer. So, if you're looking for a show that's safe for the family, but funny enough to help you escape everyday life, then listen to the Florida Men on Florida Man podcast. That's Florida Men, plural, on Florida Man podcast. Hey, it's Brent Pope, the host of Breakfast with Brent Pope. You've seen me on some of your favorite TV shows saying things like, Give it up, Jimmy. You've got to sink this putt to win. On Breakfast with Brent Pope, I sit down with guests from the entertainment world,

[00:11:39] and we do it all over breakfast. Or should I say, Brent-fist? Every week on Brent-fist, you get inside Hollywood info and tips, great breakfast wrecks and booty debates. Most of all, you get the most delightful 30 minutes of your week. So, dig in. It's Brent-fist time. Listen at Brent-fist.com, Apple Podcasts, or wherever fine podcasts are found. Follow us on the web on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

[00:12:07] The podcast is available on Podbean, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Anchor, Apple, and anywhere else podcasts are available. Feel free to review our show and leave comments on any of those sites. Thanks a million for listening.