Living the dream with stress and anxiety expert Daniel Packard

Welcome, um, to the living the dream podcast with curveball. Um, if you believe you can achieve cheat, cheat. Welcome, um, to the living the dream with curveball podcast, a show where I interview guests that teach, motivate, and inspire. Today, we're going to be talking about a solution to anxiety, as I'm joined by standup comedian and anxiety solution engineer, Daniel Packard. Daniel is an engineer, and instead of him, um, engineering products and doing the regular engineering that we all know, his passion now is engineering a solution to anxiety with the company that he started. So, let's roll. Let's get into it. Daniel, thank you so much for joining me today.

So great to be here, and thank you for that intro. And between your kind words and your velvety smooth pipes, I just wish everybody got an intro like that every day. I love being in purpose, but part of being on podcast is I get introduced by lovely people like you, and I just wish everybody could start their day with an intro. Just people could wake up in the morning and be like, come into the world. Now is you. You are excellent at showering and not only inhaling and exhaling. Let's give it up for you. I just wish everybody had an intro in the morning. What do you think, Curtis?

Absolutely. That's what we aim to do on this show. So why don't you tell the listeners a little bit about yourself?

Well, what I do that I think your audience would appreciate, um, is you pointed to it. But essentially, what we spent eight years developing was a system. And the keyword is a system, uh, because we found that for people that struggle with fear and anxiety, there's tips, there's tools, there's tricks, there's bandaids, there's insights, but it was leaving people just managing it all the time. It was just a lot of band aids and management, which is better than nothing. But people are in a lot of pain with fear and anxiety. It keeps people from their dreams. It keeps people from doing what they love. It keeps people from showing up for the people they care about and being open hearted and present. I mean, fear and anxiety, uh, it's just so limiting. And the best the experts could provide, we saw, was just management, but people were still in a lot of pain. And I'll tell a bit of my story later, but basically, we spent eight years to develop a system. And the system allows people to be free of fear and anxiety, uh, permanently. And what that means is you're free of it, which means you wake up every morning and you just feel calm and centered and grounded, and it just allows you to just live that life you're meant to live, be that person you want to be. And so that's just not typically how people approach fear and anxiety. It's usually tips and tools to manage it, man. But I'm done with that. I had fear and anxiety. I'm done with management. We want people to be free. That is our passion is helping people be free of this so they can really follow their dreams fully. That's what we're about. And the way that we got there was, well, um, I was talking to a client the other day and I said, we have this system. And the beauty of the system is that it's effective, but also that it's very simple. But it took eight years to figure out how to do it. And this person said, wow, that must have been a lot of work. And I said, yeah, it was my whole life. For eight years, I lived on five different continents. We worked with 3000 people. I worked with addicts in South Africa, I worked with monks in India, I worked with business people in the US. Just everything. And he asked me, what motivated you to do that? And I really thought about it, where that came from. Not to figure out how to help people with anxiety. A lot of people, it's to make it simple. And it was simple because, well, growing up, uh, my dad just wasn't. He loved me the best he could. They provided for me logistically, but emotionally, he just wasn't one of those I love you, I'm proud of you kind of dads. I'm sure I'm the only kid out there. Can you relate, Curtis?

Yeah. I understand they showed their love the best they could, but it wasn't, uh, necessarily what you needed or was looking for.

Very well said, very compassionately said. But I couldn't get the I'm proud of you. Atta boys. And so, like any little kid, I start trying to get my parents approval. And now I know that my dad just couldn't do it. Now I know that, but back then, I'm still looking for it. And I remember at one point I actively went out of my way to get his approval. My parents were very into college applications and I knew if I could be class president, it would look good on the college application. So the plan was to run for class president, win, tell my dad. Then he would say good job, and I would know he loved me and that would be that. So I run for class president, Curtis, and I win. And I'm all excited with my plan of like, okay, I'm going to go home. I'm going to tell my dad about class president. He's going to say, good job, and that'll be that. So I walk in the door, uh, and I see my dad there with all this youthful exuberance and pride of my plan. I said, hey, dad, guess who's class president? And he said, don't let it interfere with your homework. And I was like, ouch. Come on, man. That was a softball pitch. All you had to say was, good job. So it was really painful and scary, and I started crying, like, really crying in pain. And I had one last ditch of sort of youthful vulnerability, and I just said to him, why the heck can't you just tell me you're proud of me? And, uh, he just said, it's my job to tell you when you mess up. And I was like, ouch. So I just gave up. I just gave up trying to get his approval. Um, but I got it once. I got it once, maybe twice, but once I really remembered. And it has to do with what we're doing right now with anxiety. My dad had a boat, nothing fancy, but it was all right. And the heating system on the boat stopped working. And my dad's a really smart guy. He's a physicist, and he knows boats and he knows heating systems, and he couldn't fix it. Curtis. And he was getting really frustrated, and I was 13, and I said, well, maybe I can fix it. And, I mean, he just looked at me like, come on, kid. Um, I'm, um, a physicist. You can't fix this. So I said, let me try. So I go down into the bottom of the boat where the heating system is, and I said, I think I can fix it. And he said, you can't fix it. How are you going to fix it? And I. They'd hand me a zip tie, those little nylon, um, plasticky things that create a loop and attach things. So I said, hand me a zip tie. He said, how many zip ties you need? I said, just one. He said, you're going to fix it with one zip tie? And I said, I mean, I think so. I think it's simple. So he hands me one zip tie. I'm down there for, like, 15 minutes pigeoning around. Then I go upstairs, and I say, all right, turn the heater on. He turns the heater on, and it works. And it got him. He looked at me, and I remember it because, uh, uh, he appreciated me. He said, wow, you fixed it. And it felt so good. I was like, oh, wow. Finally I did something, and he said, and it was simple. I like what you did, because the fix was simple. And that word simple stuck with me, Curtis. And because it was such an impressionable moment, here's what I took away from that moment was two things. One is sometimes the smartest people who know the most, in this case, my dad. Sometimes they miss things. They miss simple things because it's like they're so smart, they miss simple things. But I also saw in that moment that maybe I had a talent for looking at problems that experts can't solve, and maybe I could solve it in a way that's simple. And the reason that stuck with me is because in my thirty s, I fell in love with this woman. And the, uh, relationship turned really unhealthy and toxic, and I was too insecure and codependent to leave. So I made a mistake that I know nobody in your audience would ever do. I stayed in an unhealthy relationship way too long. And when the relationship was over, I had just crippling anxiety and complex PTSD. It was complications of being basically emotionally and psychologically and verbally abused for a couple of years. And it was so scary. It was so painful, it was terrifying. And like your audience, who struggles with fear, anxiety, overwhelm, panic attacks, PTSD, I went looking for help. And I went to therapists and psychologists and spiritual teachers, religious leaders. I, uh, did the apps, I did the videos, I did retreats, I did meditations, I did all the CBT and CGT and EMDR and EFT and M did. I tried everything. I did the retreat, I did everything, Curtis. And none of it got rid of it. It was still there. Sometimes it would get worse. And my friends and family walked away from me because they didn't want to be around somebody in pain, which just left me feeling even more kind of broken and alone. And I wouldn't have taken my own life, but I saw why people do, Curtis. I saw it. I got it. Because when you are just miserable and not living a life, but you've tried to fix it and you can't, you feel trapped and you start to lose hope. And when you lose hope, man, that's a dangerous place to be. And I was losing hope, and I kind of had a rock bottom moment where I was just so broken and scared and trapped, and I just looked up to the sky and just said, like, hey, God, what do you want from me, man? I've been trying to figure this out for a year, ten years, and I'm still trapped here. I know this is a test. What do you want me to do? What do you want from me? And in that moment, I kind of got this clarity that maybe all the experts that I'd gone to couldn't fix it, but maybe there was a fix, and maybe it was simple, and maybe because I had this little ability to see simple things, maybe I could figure it out. I didn't know if I could, Curtis, but I just knew I was in a lot of pain. I knew millions of people were in a lot of pain with no solution. And I thought, maybe I can find a solution to this, and it could be simple. And it was not easy. It was seven days a week for years, doing research, working with thousands of people, seeing what worked, what didn't work, um, and really trying to understand the root cause of it, to solve it. And I was one of the first test cases that got results. I remember waking up one morning after years of crippling anxiety and PTSD, and I woke up one morning, and I just felt calm, and it was weird. And now I thought it would be temporary. I thought, there's no way this is permanent. But it was permanent, Curtis. It was gone. It's been ten years now. I've been chill as a cucumber. I'm calm, content, free, happy, joyful, purposeful. And when my team saw that and saw the results, they said, daniel, we did it. We figured it out. And I said, no, we figured it out for me, but we got to get it to more people. We got to get this system out to people, and we've got to make it a system. We got to take the guesswork out. We got to make it simple, where there's steps and instructions, because I don't want people to try and fail. So we spent another four years testing and optimizing the systems to make sure that no matter what type of fear and anxiety you have, this is going to work for you. And it's easy to do. We have a 90% success rate because, uh, it's a system where, if you work the steps, you get the results, which is to be free of this. And because this matters so much to us, when people work with us, they don't pay in the beginning because we haven't done anything yet. You don't pay in the beginning of the program. You pay at the very end. It's six weeks long. You pay at the very end. Once your fear and anxiety is completely gone, when we have real data that it's gone and you're free and happy, that's when you pay. And we do that partly because people are so skeptical of what we're doing, it sounds too good to be true. So we say, okay, well, try it, see for yourself. But also, we're here to help people, and if we can't help you, we're not charging you. It's not right. A lot of people take your money and not deliver, but that's not us. Uh, we help people, and if we can't help you, we're not going to charge you because it's not right. It's not fair to take advantage of people. So that's my story, and that's what we're doing. Curtis.

Well, tell us about the, uh, biggest misconception that listeners have about know people in general have about anxiety.

Oh, man, there's so many. There's so really, I'll give a couple. But just that question that you had, and it's an excellent question, which you said, misconception. And, uh, I want to bring up a point to your audience. For anybody that's dealt, this isn't just about anxiety. It's fear. It's overwhelm, it's worry. Anything that's fear, that's holding you back, that you've tried to address and you can't. I want you to understand why you still have it. And the reason you still have it is because the experts that you trusted, the therapists, the psychologists, the doctors, even the religious leaders, the spiritual teachers, the apps, the videos, they were well intentioned people, but they had an incomplete understanding of what anxiety is. And so what they put out was information that left people confused. There's so many theories on, uh, what is anxiety? What isn't anxiety? Should you have anxiety is a little bit of anxiety. There's all these strategies, try this, try that, do this, do that, and none of it solves anything. And it leaves people feeling so confused. Every day I talk to people on calls. This happened three months ago. This guy reaches out to us with crippling anxiety and panic attacks. He's had it his whole life. And he said to me, not only has this ruined my life, not only am I not the father I want to be and the husband I want to be, but from going to experts, I'm even more confused, which just makes me feel worse and more trapped. And what I told him, and I want to tell your audience is, this isn't your fault that you're so confused. It's the fault of the experts that don't know as much as they claim, and they're confusing you. And those confusions not only keep you trapped and confused and from a simple solution. But also then people start to blame themselves and think it's your fault or it's my fault, or, um, I'm broken or trapped. And I just want to let your audience know. You having fear and anxiety and not being able to get rid of it is not your fault. It's really the fault of the people you trusted to help you. They weren't able to help you, and in some ways, they learned you worse off. So I'm going to give you some clarity about anxiety so that you can see this isn't your fault and that this isn't complicated or confusing and that it's actually simple. How's that sound, Curtis?

That sounds great. And, uh, again, like I told you in the green room, it's a good thing that you're doing this. Next question is for parents with, uh, kids that are struggling with anxiety. Uh, young people are more anxious than ever. And people say, oh, it's because of social media, but you say that's not true. And why do you say that? And give some tips for parents to be able to help their children struggling with.

Going to. That's a great question. A lot of the people that we help, um, I mean, this happened three months ago. A woman, Cheryl, um, from DC, reached out and she know not only am I horribly anxious, but now I'm, um, making my own child anxious and I know I'm doing it and I don't know how to stop. Said, you know, my parents were anxious, they passed it on to me. I know I'm passing on to my child and there's nothing I can do and I don't know what to do or how to stop it. And I know why because very few people understand anxiety and they're accidentally passing it on. So what I showed Cheryl and told her is I said, look, I'm going to give you an understanding of anxiety that allows you to make small daily adjustments to your life. And when you do that, the result is that you're going to feel safe. In our system, it's not about anxiety or fear. We allow people to heal, uh, from within such that they feel safe from the inside out. If you look at your life and you look at a lot of the ways that we struggle as humans, whether you call it anxiety, stress, worry, panic. Can you see, Curtis, like, deep down underneath it all really just people don't feel safe from within. Can you kind of see that that's.

Where it all starts, within you can ah, do and help others if you're not safe or you're not confident or whatever it is within.

Exactly. So what we saw in our research is that people just don't feel safe from within. They're not stable. They're not solid. So then when life pushes on you, you can't handle the pressure of life. It sort of knocks you over. It destabilizes you. If you have a solid foundation, life can push on you, but it doesn't knock you over. It doesn't affect you as much. Does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense, Ben, but don't break.

Exactly. So the thing is, people don't really get this meaning deep down, everybody is walking around, including our teens, and they don't have a solid foundation of feeling safe from within. Now, uh, that's what our program gives you, but most people don't have that. So then social media comes along, and social media is like a pressure. It makes life hard. It's challenging. No doubt. I get it. And then people get knocked over, and they feel horrible pain and anxiety and stress and hurt. Now it looks kind of like it's the social media. Because the social media is happening. We see it's not good. Then we see our teens. The number three cause, uh, of death amongst American teens is suicide. And we think, oh, it's the social media. No. SocIal media is what MAkes life challenging. But if you feel safe from within, you can feel social media. You can be challenged by it, but it won't affect you so much. How do I know this? I told this woman, cheryl, I said, I'm going to show you how to feel safe from within, and then you're going to be able to model behavior, and your child will see that, and they'll be able to handle life better. And she said, if you could do that, that would be the most incredible Thing ever. And so Cheryl went through the program, and about three weeks in, we knew from her results, because we're tracking her results as she goes through the program, we knew her anxiety was about down by about 50%. Um, it wasn't fully gone yet, but she was only halfway through the program. But she reached out to us and she said, I can't thank you enough. And we said, oh, why? And she said, well, yeah, I am feeling calmer and safer. She said, but more importantly, my teenager came home from school today. My teenager, who in the past had been crippled by bullying. And when my teenager came home from school today, I said, how was school today? And my teenager said, well, I got bullied today. And I didn't like it, but I don't know. It just didn't bother me as much. And Cheryl asked her, wait, why didn't it affect you? And her teenager told Cheryl, basically, I've been watching what you're doing. And I started doing it, so I just feel less affected by it. And so the gift of what we're doing is not only are we allowing parents to feel safe and handle the pressures of life, but then they're able to pass it on to their children so that they can handle the pressures of life. And it's all because we're not dealing with the symptom. We're dealing with the root cause, which is to help people feel just safe from within.

Well, man, you're not even a trained therapist or psychologist, and you're getting a, uh, 90% success rate with everybody being different. How is that the case?

Well, it's a good question because a lot of people I've spoken at conferences where there are mental health professionals, and they'll walk up to me. And, uh, one, I'm basically calling them out because, uh, I'm trying to wake people up to say mental health professionals mean well, but they don't understand this well enough to solve it. Anxiety is on the rise. Depression is on the rise. Suicide is on the rise. Addiction is on the rise. And we keep trusting these experts blindly, not seeing. Maybe they don't know enough to get the job done. And the reason we were able to solve this, I believe, when the experts couldn't, is because we weren't experts. Because experts, and that's what my dad showed me, can sometimes know so much. They miss things because they're stuck in their old paradigms. There's this story that my mom told me growing up about this nurse, uh, called Florence Nightingale. And she was this nurse in the 1850s who saw that more soldiers were dying in recovery than in battle. And she had a problem with this. So she went to the experts, she went to the generals and the doctors and said, hey, this is a serious issue. We got to do something about it. And the doctors basically said, there's nothing we can do about it. This is just part of war. Get back to work. But she wasn't a quote unquote expert. She just really cared, and she just paid attention. And she was the one that discovered the importance of hygiene in recovery so that the wounds didn't get infected. She was the one that discovered, if you change the bandages, if you have better ventilation, if you move the soldiers away from the toilets, that simple thing dropped the death rate by 99% because the experts missed it. And she saw something simple that the experts missed. And in their arrogance and their expertness, they didn't care. They just accepted it. So sometimes therapists will say, you're not certified. You don't have credentials. Who are you? And I don't say this to their face because it's not my place, but basically I say, look, I don't have credentials, but your credentials aren't getting results. We're at least getting results. And we're getting results, I believe, because we are challenging and not accepting what the experts are getting us, which is just basically band Aids. And the reason we're able to do this is because our approach is simple. It's dead simple, and it's mechanical. And, uh, the reason mechanical means is it explains why we're able to help so many people in so many different ways. Most people, when they go looking for help with anxiety, fear, panic attacks, trauma, most help that they get is either spiritual or psychological. And spiritual and psychological. They're perspectives and ways of understanding what's going on. And it's helpful. It's like a map. It's sort of a mirror to sort of understand what's going on. And different people respond to different theories of what's going on. But the problem with spiritual and psychological is it's not simple and it's not enough to solve anything. So what do I mean by so? All right, let's say, curtis, you're in a restaurant, and all of a sudden you start choking. I hope you never choke, but let's just say you're choking. And to your listener, imagine you're choking, and two people walk up to you. One person walks up to you and says, oh, well, let's look at this problem. Maybe the fact that when you were younger at the dinner table, you had a lot of fear, and so you ate your food too quickly, and that's causing a problem. Or maybe you have a scarcity mindset about breathing. What if you're just focusing on the lack of breath you have instead of the abundance of breath out there? And what if you're really attached to living and that's stressing you out and making it worse? Or another person walks up and says, hey, look, here's the deal. You have a piece of food mechanically lodged in your airway and you are feeling the fear, uh, because you're about to die. I'm going to put mechanical pressure on your stomach. That's going to put mechanical pressure behind the blockage and hopefully pop it out and then air will be able to get mechanically into your lungs, and you'll live. If you're in that situation and you need a fast, simple solution that works, do you want an understanding of your problem that's spiritual, psychological or mechanical?

You need mechanical at that time, quickly.

Yeah. And why? If you want to solve something quickly, why is mechanical a good idea?

Because mechanical gets it done and psychologically thinks through it and figures how to get it done.

Exactly. Mechanical gets it done. And if the mechanics that you're using, usually there's a lot of mechanics that apply to everybody. See, psychology and spirituality, different beliefs and ways of descriptions will resonate with different people. Different religions resonate with different people, different perspectives. But humans, especially in the body, we're mechanical. We all have skeletons and arteries and ligaments and hearts. It's all mechanical. And it's the same mechanics for every single person. If you take 1000 people and you drop them off a six story building, a lot of those people are going to end up with a broken leg, because that's a mechanical problem. But then if you take those thousand people with a broken leg and, uh, 1000 people, you put a cast on, 1000 people are going to be able to walk again. Because the problem and the solution is mechanical and applies to everybody. Can you see that?

Be it? 100% right.

So people ask me, Daniel, everyone's different. Uh, you don't understand my past. You don't understand my future. No, psychologically, that may come into play. But we saw that anxiety was mechanical. It's a mechanical issue in the body, specifically, your nervous system. Basically, you got the whole world walking around feeling extra nervous. Little bit of nervousness you could call worry. A lot of nervousness you could call anxiety. A lot, a lot, a lot of nervousness you could call a panic attack. So can you see that on some level, everybody's walking around feeling various degrees of nervous? And so our research showed, oh, there's a system in the body, literally called the nervous system. It's got the word nervous right in there. And we saw that all these different degrees of nervousness that people are feeling is making everybody feel nervous. So the value of that is the nervous system is just another system in the body. And systems in the body are mechanical. And, uh, systems in the body can break down, but systems in the body can be repaired. So the reason we can help pretty much everybody is because this isn't psychological, it's mechanical, and it's simple. Now, the downside is most people don't see it this way, and so they spent their whole lives trying to clear up this fear and anxiety, and it's just leaving them feeling more confused and trapped. But we're trying to give people hope by saying, no, this is not complicated. It's not in your mind. It's in your body, specifically, your nervous system. Your nervous system is malfunctioning, and it's making you feel unsafe. But we have a system, a step by step system that repairs your nervous system so that you can just feel safe. And when you feel safe, the symptom, the fear and the anxiety, goes away and doesn't come back. And it's not just effective. It's simple. Can you tell I'm, um, passionate about this word, simple, Curtis?

Oh, you're definitely passionate about everything you do.

Thank you.

So, tell us about, uh, the biggest challenges that you are seeing in helping people with.

You. Uh, know, it's funny. When we started to develop this system, uh, we thought the biggest challenge would be to figure it out, and that was not easy. Like I said, it was eight years, man, figuring out a system, the steps in just the right order, in just the right sequence, in just the right timing, testing it with people to make sure it worked, making sure there was instructions, and making sure people couldn't fail, that took so much time and energy. And when we figured it out and when we told people, look, pay, at the end, when it works, we thought we were going to help so many people. And we're helping some people, but we're not helping nearly as many people as we could. And that's because almost the bigger challenge is not figuring out how to solve anxiety. It's how skeptical people are. They're so skeptical, and I understand it. I get it, because people have been the experts have left people so hopeless and trapped and confused that when we come along with a system that actually is simple, people just don't believe it, and they're skeptical. And there's a lot of stuff out there that takes advantage of anxious people and over promises and under deliver. So, every day, I talk to people who find out about the work that we do, and they want to work with us, and logically, they want to be free of fear and anxiety. But because they've been so confused and feeling like it's their fault and like they're broken, they've lost hope, and they're skeptical it'll work, and we can't help them. And that's the biggest challenge. And so I'm, um, going on these podcasts, trying to just give people an understanding of, uh, why this is possible to give them hope. Because without hope, what's the point? And the way that we give people hope is to give people an experience that their anxiety really is simple. I mean, if I just say it's simple, that sounds good. But anxiety and fear feels complicated. At least it felt that way to me before I figured this out. So to help skeptical people, I like to give people an experience so they can actually feel that it's simple. It's not the same as doing our program, but it'll give them, like, a sample of the simplicity. So what if I do that right now? How's that sound?

Go right ahead.

Okay. So, again, the whole program is six weeks. And when you do the program, you'll see this will make more sense. But we don't have six weeks. So I want to just give you, like, a condensed little crash course on the fact that your fear and anxiety is mechanical and could be simple to solve. And if it's simple, it'll maybe give your listeners hope. So, first, inner mechanics. Lesson number one. Uh, I already pointed out, which is that the experts tell us that it's a problem of the mind. It's called mental health. It's got the word mental right in there. It's not mental. If it was mental and that was the root cause, you would have solved it. Your mind is a symptom of where your anxiety is actually coming from, which is your body, specifically, the nervous system. Everyone's feeling extra nervous. It's your nervous system. So, inner mechanics lesson number one is it's not your mind, it's your body. Where this is coming from. Your listeners probably know that. Ah, because nobody says, I think anxious, I feel anxious. But then the question is, well, why is the body feeling anxious? Well, nobody has anxiety. Nobody has panic attacks. You don't have a disorder. What you're experiencing, the spinning mind, the scared body, all these symptoms are symptoms because in your body, you don't feel safe. I mentioned it earlier. Can you see if you don't feel safe from within, you'll then experience symptoms like anxiety, fear, worry, panic attacks, and spinning mind. Can you see that, Curtis?

Most definitely, yeah.

So you don't have anxiety, you don't have spinning thoughts, you don't have a crazy mind. Those are just symptoms of not feeling safe. Now, the question is, why do you feel unsafe? So I'm going to show you again, like, in a real simple way, that there's a mechanical reason we don't feel safe. And to do this, I'm going to do, like, a little role play. And in this role play, uh, well, I feel like we're friends, Curtis, but in this one, we're long term friends. So in this role play, I'm gonna treat you like a friend, Curtis, which we are. And when I say the word you, I'm talking to you, Curtis, but also your listeners, so that they can kind of play along and experience this. Okay, so let's say we're friends. Know for a long time, I've been a really good friend to you. I'm there for you. You can rely on me. I'm trustworthy. When you need me, I'm there for you. I'm considerate. I'm careful. I know what you need. And I go out of my way to get you what you need. So you feel trusting. If I treat you that way, is that going to leave you feeling safe, uh, and calm or unsafe and anxious?

Safe and calm.

Yeah. Boom. Simple, mechanical. If I treat you that way, mechanically, meaning it's almost like a reflex, your body will feel safe and calm. Okay. So now let's say for some reason you don't understand, all of a sudden, I start being really horrible to you. And I'm mean to you, and I'm unkind to you. I know what you need, but I don't care. I put everybody else ahead of you. When you're in real need, I don't care because I'm focused on what everybody else wants. When I hurt you, it doesn't matter to me. And when you really need me, I'm not there for you. If I treat you that way for a long time, is that going to leave you feeling safe and calm or unsafe and anxious? Unsafe.

Um, and anxious.

Yes. Boom. Simple. Mechanical. Okay. So now let's say you tell me. On the count of three, I want you to tell me. On the count of three, I want you to say, the way you're treating me leaves me feeling, uh, unsafe. Okay. On the count of three, say to me. The way you're treating me leaves me feeling unsafe. One, two, three.

The way you're treating me leaves me to feel unsafe.

What is wrong with you? Why are you telling me this? Everything is fine, and you're freaking out. There's something wrong with you is the issue. And also, why are you bringing this to me? I'm trying to have a happy life, and you're getting in the way of my life. So whatever you're dealing with, whatever this is, there's something wrong with you. It's not my fault. It's your fault. And I need you to get it away from me because you are on your own. Does that leave you feeling safe and calm or unsafe and anxious? Unsafe.

Um, and anxious.

Boom. And can you sort of see that it's simple and almost mechanical?

Absolutely, yeah.

Now, I would never treat you like this. I love you, Curtis. I love you. Audience member I'm doing it for the sake of science, but I want to show you that this might be simple and mechanical. Now, the neat thing about mechanics, if you understand the mechanics of something, you can move something in one direction. You can also move something in the other direction. For instance, if you know the mechanics of how to lose weight, which is to burn more calories than you eat, can you see that? You also understand how to gain weight, which is to eat more calories than you burn. Can you see that?

Absolutely right.

So that's the beauty, um, of mechanics. If you can move something in one direction, I can make you feel unsafe. Then the very same mechanical understanding can help you feel safe. So now, on the count of three, I want you to say the same thing I want you to say, the way you're treating me leaves me feeling unsafe. On the count of three, say, the way you're treating me leaves me feeling unsafe. On the count of 3123, the way.

You'Re treating me leaves me to feel unsafe.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for telling me. Oh, man, you're so right. There's nothing wrong with you. There's something wrong with your feeling. This way makes a lot of sense, given how I've treated you and how I've broken your trust. And I'm glad you told me, because it's an opportunity for me to treat you better and repair this trust. And it'll take me time to repair trust so that you feel good around me. But in the meantime, I just want to tell you thank you so much for telling me. I know that wasn't easy, and, uh, I'm sorry, and I'm going to do better. Does that leave you feeling safe and calm or unsafe and anxious?

Safe and calm.

Boom. You see that? Mechanical.

Absolutely.

Now, in this role play, this is m sort, um, of an overly simplified friend relationship. But on some level, we're in a relationship with yourself. And if a friend treats you poorly, you will mechanically feel unsafe within your own body, and then thus, you will feel fear and anxious. But we're in a relationship with ourself. And can you see that sometimes, Curtis, we're not always a good, loving friend to ourselves?

Absolutely.

Can you see that?

We got to be good to ourselves. So we can be good to, uh, others.

We got to be good to ourselves, but we're not always good to ourselves. So, in the same way, and this is what the data showed, is that ten to 30 times a day, the average person, completely unknowingly, meaning you don't even know you're doing it, you're basically not taking very good care of yourself. And over time, that leaves your nervous system feeling unsafe. And then you feel this fear, and you call it anxiety. Now, the downside is that very few people understand this. They don't understand that it's simple. They don't understand that it's mechanical. They don't understand that a lot of it is related to how you are treating yourself. That's the downside. But the good news is, we figured this out. And the way that we're able to solve this permanently is to help people make five times a day, they do an exercise from themselves to themselves. And what that does is through the system and the steps in just the right order and sequence and timing, is it leaves you feeling safe from within. And then when you feel safe from within, the symptom, meaning the fear, the worry, the anxiety, the overwhelm, the panic attacks, the trauma, basically goes away and doesn't come back. And so you're free of it. You're not managing it. You're just free to feel confident and open hearted and to do what you. I mean, Curtis, imagine how your life would be different and the world would be different if everybody, including our children, could wake up every morning just feeling safe from within. Can you see the power of that?

Absolutely. The world will be a better place.

Yes, it is. And that's why this matters so much to us, is, yes, we're helping people with anxiety, but that's because that's the pain that gets people to reach out for help. But what we're really doing is giving people what everybody wants, which is to feel free and to feel safe. And from that place of freedom and safety, man, you can be confident, you can be authentic, you can be present, you can be focused. You get so much more work done, you're a better leader in your community, you're a better surfing and steward. You're just a happier person. And so, in the same way, that hurt people, hurt people, healed people, heal people. And so we really see that the work that we're doing and why it matters so much to us is because we're trying to heal the world in our own way. And the way we're doing it is through this thing that people need, which is a system. The reason people have failed in the past is because when they went to get help, they usually got, like, an individual tip or a tool or a technique. But we saw that doesn't get the job done. You need a set of tools that are designed to work together, and you need a system, meaning, like, the order that you do things in and the sequence and timing, that's what's needed to heal this. And so the problem is people don't have a system. They have tools, like one or two techniques, and then they try and they fail, and they feel worse about themselves. It would be like if you went to a car mechanic and said, hey, can you help me fix my car? And they just handed you a wrench and a screwdriver and said, good luck. Can you see if they just hand you two tools, but no instructions, no steps, no sequence, you wouldn't be able to repair your car.

Absolutely right.

And that's why people are failing. It's like they have a root canal. They go to the dentist, and the dentist says, hey, here's some dental floss and a toothbrush. Like it's a tool, but it's not enough to get the job done. It doesn't go deep enough. It doesn't address the root cause. If you want to repair a car or you want to repair a home or a garden, you need to understand a system, which means the steps, even just when you bake. When we bake, we have instructions. Most baking is like the same ingredients. It's sugar, water, flour, yeast, bit of eggs. But, of course, if you want to make a cookie and someone just hands you flour, sugar, salt, yeast, and water and eggs, but no instructions, no explanation. Can you make a cookie?

No, you cannot.

Why not?

Because you got to know what you're doing. That's what. Anything in life, even on jobs, you got to have job training. Even if you have the experience, if you're going for it, you got to have a training.

You got to have the training, the instructions, what do you do when and how? And people don't get that from therapists and spiritual teachers. They say, here's an insight. Here's a till. Good luck. And that's just setting people up for failure. And that's why your audience has failed at this. And then they blame themselves. This is not your fault. You were set up for failure. And so the secret sauce of what we do, man, it's this system that we spent all this love and care so that if there's instructions. You don't have to wonder and guess. You know what to do on what day and when to do it. It makes sure that you stay accountable and you're consistent. We have all these support materials so that if you have questions, your questions get answers. The way we get 90% success rate. And the reason we can only charge at the end is because it's the system that does the heavy lifting and that takes the burden off of the people. So all they have to do is be courageous and show up. It's built like an inner gym. Instead of doing daily cardio, you do daily cardio, where you're learning to take care of yourself. So if you've ever done a diet, if you've ever gone to the gym, if you can repeat steps, you can be free of fear and anxiety. If you can work the steps, you get the results, which is to be free. And that's our passion, is the system.

So we got about three minutes left. In these three minutes, tell us about any upcoming projects you're working on that people need to know about, and throw out your contact info. So if people want to take advantage of your program or check it out.

Well, the biggest thing we do is it's this program. It's the system that we've just, with so much love and care built. And while the beauty is that it works for everybody, pretty much, because it's so simple and mechanical, it's not for everybody. Because even though logically, people don't want to have fear and anxiety, sometimes they just, deep down, feel so broken and undeserving that they almost just settle. They're like, this is just my, I don't deserve better. Also, people are afraid to let this stuff go. They've had it for so long that the idea of letting it go, uh, is scary to them. And when you're anxious person, the last thing you want to do is be afraid. And so the people that work with us, they're motivated. They are motivated to get rid of this. They are motivated and courageous and have a brave, open mind to try something better. If that's you, if you're listening to this and you're tired of living like this, you want your life back, you want to be free, you want to feel safe so you can just enjoy life more. If that sounds good to you, if the fact that you only pay at the end when it works sounds good to you, then you go to my website. Um, my name is Daniel Packard. So I like things simple. Go to danielpackard.com. You can see testimonials of people who were in a lot of pain and now are free and happy and joyful. You can learn about the program. You can, uh, get the price of the program, which we've worked really hard to make it very affordable. Um, but also, if you're really struggling with money, um, we don't want money to keep you from happiness. So we do have scholarships where we give the program away at no charge. Uh, you can also learn more about me. There's a video of me entering a dance competition because I am a surprisingly good dancer. You wouldn't guess it, but I don't know where it comes from, but I can move, and you can see that. And then if you want to see how we can help you, you just book a free call with me, a free 15 minutes call with me, and you can tell me more about your life and how anxiety has shown up in your life and what you've tried that hasn't worked. And I'll give you some more insights, and I'll explain to you how we can help you, make sure we can help you. And if you want our help, great. If not, that's okay, too. We're not here to pressure anybody. If you want to do this, it's got to come from you. So, if you're curious, you want to see the testimonials, learn about the program, get the price, see me dancing, and why they call me James light Brown. And if you're interested to book a free call with me so that I can help you be free of this and be a happier, best version of yourself. If that sounds good to you, then, uh, just go to danielpackard.com.

Wow. There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Danielpackard.com Follow rate Review Share this episode to anybody who might be struggling with anxiety that Daniel can help. If you have any guests or suggestion topics, CJackson 102 at Cox. Net is the place to send them. As always, thank you for listening and supporting the show. And Daniel, thank you for joining us. I've had, uh, several people on talking about anxiety, but I've never had it presented in the way that you just done it. Thank you.

You are so welcome. It was my honor to help your audience, Curtis.

For more information on the living the Dream podcast, visit visit www.djcurveball.com. Until next time M stay focused on living the dream. Dream.