The Good, The Bad, and the F%cking Crazy with Rory Uphold

[00:00:00] What is up all of my beautiful freaking people welcome back to another episode of FML Talk You guys are in for a good one today. I know you love your girl talk episodes I know you love when we just shoot the shit and laugh

[00:00:15] My girl Rory Uphold is here today And it is all of your girl talk episode dreams come true with a bit of healing a lot of fucking tea So sit back grab a motherfucking cocktail and welcome to FML Talk Hey, this is Gabrielle Stone

[00:00:43] And this is FML Talk. Oh, no she didn't. Oh my god you guys today's episode is so fun. I went on Rory's podcast Back in like early 2023 Crimes of the heart such a great fun show and I just absolutely fell in love with her

[00:01:02] I knew I wanted to bring her on because she has been fucking Through the ringer y'all if you think my life was an FML story Wait till you hear some of the shit that she is about to drop on the podcast today

[00:01:16] But really what this episode became because I knew I was just gonna invite her over and we're gonna shoot the shit What this episode became was how going through all the bullshit in life teaches you what you need to

[00:01:30] Really know and learn about yourself to start attracting the good shit in the future and how it's all fucking worth it But we're gonna get to how it's all worth it and get to all the lessons

[00:01:41] Which there will be plenty of in this episode by going through all the trauma and the bullshit That we have both been through it's fun you're gonna laugh there's so much goodness in it, but there will be some really good

[00:01:55] Golden nuggets of information for your healing journeys as we always have here on FML talk I want to give a little bit of a trigger warning There is a situation that she talks about where the asshole that she was involved with

[00:02:09] Ended up getting in trouble in the me too movement for sexual assault So we do talk about that there is a pretty Heavy revelation that she has around that but if you do have a trigger around this

[00:02:24] I I feel like this is one of the episodes that it will Help you to hear what she has to say around it I also want to point out that the person that we do talk about who ended up being named publicly

[00:02:39] We don't talk about his name on the show But when we stopped recording she told me after and my fucking jaw hit the floor Not that I know who he is, but I know who he's married to and I was like blown away

[00:02:52] We'll just leave it at that. I know my fml errs do their their investigative skills So I'm sure if you go down a fucking rabbit hole, you can find it on your own on the glorious interweb But

[00:03:06] This episode just ended up being so good. So fun. It's a little bit longer than we normally go on fml talk So I hope you guys sit back relax sip on your fucking cocktails and enjoy Rory uphold

[00:03:30] Welcome welcome. Thank you for having me. I'm stoked. We're already having a blast I was like we have to shut the fuck up and actually hit record because We've already like gone through so much shit since you've walked into my house

[00:03:42] It is rare that I go on someone's podcast and I'm like this person's fucking rad I have to have them on fml talk and you are one of those people. Thank you I feel like I also inserted myself into your life

[00:03:54] I was like, I'm a fan and I like you and you're my friend now and I'm not deal with it Yeah, it's like this is not a negotiable thing

[00:04:01] But lo and behold we attract people into our life for a reason and we sat down and started talking on your show and I Was like, oh we have odd similarities in our lives. We do with that capital T and little t trauma All the trauma. Yeah

[00:04:16] So today we're really gonna dive into The shit show that is your life Which is so nice for me to say cuz normally it's the shit show that my life has been

[00:04:24] But you like there are not many people where I'm like this person might one-up me on their fml story I feel like you have taken that place. I don't know if that's a good

[00:04:38] I was thinking I was like, that's like a badge of honor. That's made out of shit You're like, thank you, but also like fuck my life. Yeah, truly fml. Yes

[00:04:47] So I like where do we even start? I mean, I thought I was gonna marry a man and he called me On the phone and just said hey, babe He started with hey, babe. Yeah, I

[00:05:00] Got the so he was in grad school at the time and he was like I got the internship that I really wanted and I was Like that's amazing. And he was like yeah, and Then I said wait what's going on? Like why aren't you so excited?

[00:05:13] Right is I think we should take a break the internship doesn't include you and I said mmm breaks aren't real We both know breaks aren't real right what's happening? And then he was like we should break up and I was like But we have tickets to Africa

[00:05:28] Why do we always have tickets somewhere? But what like we had What I did I was so shocked and all I could think about was that my

[00:05:39] 89 year old grandmother was sitting next to me and if she saw me cry the way that I needed to cry like I could Maybe give her a heart attack. So I held it together. I'm dead serious But it's funny, oh, it's hilarious. It's hilarious

[00:05:51] I held it together and he hung up and that was like the last time I talked to him Oh my god, and then he started signing things like best and we'll just call him mark That's not his name best mark and it was so cold

[00:06:07] And the only time he ever spoke to me was I tweeted something out like a joke and this Twitter wasn't even big then right, he was like something about being cheated on and

[00:06:17] He freaked out like freaked out and that was the only time we ever zoomed and he was so worried about his reputation I'm like reputation bro. You got 35 followers Because 364 days later he celebrated his one-year anniversary with his new girlfriend stop

[00:06:35] Uh-huh. Isn't it always funny how like the timelines track out? So Daniel who obviously is my ex-husband in the book he Put out this YouTube video with the 19 year old which was so unfortunately sent to me by so many people

[00:06:52] I will say that like my friends knew that like I just didn't give a shit Like it was like I was like happy to be out of that situation and like through over the body

[00:07:00] That to me I think is the takeaway what when you can be happy you're out of a situation Yes, that's when you know, you're gonna be okay. Yeah 100% You're like even though this sucks right now, like it's a big fucking blessing. Yes. I just dodged

[00:07:14] An army of fucking snipers hundred totally so over the years we've like laughed at like the content that's come out like it's been like a comedy show like my Girlfriends will send it to me and be like have you fucking seen this like what's happening?

[00:07:25] But they put out a YouTube video that was like answering questions about their relationship I'm like, I don't know their followers there. No, whatever and One of them was like when's your guys's anniversary?

[00:07:38] And like the date she answered with was when we were fully still together before I had like any Inkling of an affair. Whoa. I was like, oh interesting like that's like when we were living in our home That is that's Stupid well stupid

[00:07:59] It's really wild how that happens Also, I just as you were talking was like I say this to people all the time And I'm gonna say it to you now because I realized this is how we connect our superpower as we find out the truth

[00:08:10] Oh my god. Yeah, like that is my superpower. I've always said I will always find out the yes What sign are you Sag? Oh, okay with a cancer rising and a Scorpio moon Scorpio moon is why I'm crazy

[00:08:22] Okay. Yeah, I'm a Scorpio and that's how we yeah with an Aries moon And a Libra rising way go Yeah, that makes a lot of sense I'm also in the rising is the only reason why you haven't burned houses down 100% 100%

[00:08:39] My stepdaughter made a joke because her and my son are both going to be Leo's Obviously you guys were recording this before I've given birth I'm very fucking pregnant right now, but you will be listening to this once he has already made his entrance

[00:08:52] But so we love him. We love him. He's wonderful But she was like, oh you're gonna have two Leos in the house Watch out and I looks at her straight in the face as like girl. I'm a Scorpio

[00:09:01] I'm the one sign that can handle any fucking yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like and your dad's a Gemini So technically there's three parents in this house, dude. Chill That's amazing. Oh my gosh, that's amazing

[00:09:13] Actually, like that should be merch. I have three parents. I have three parents ones a Gemini It's summer and somehow I am busier than before and I really want to feel good in my post pregnancy

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[00:10:41] Okay, so after you find out and there's like no closure in a situation like that so that is actually Yeah, that was really really hard for me and I look back on it and I think man

[00:10:56] I was so strong because I never got any closure. I literally never got any closure. How long were you guys together? Close to three years. That's a long fucking time to just like my phone call son The thing is he was a senior when I was a freshman

[00:11:15] Mm-hmm, so it wasn't and then we had gone apart and then he contacted me and you want to know something really fucking crazy I do I always do Lay it on me so

[00:11:26] He hits me up and he's like what is it's complicated mean because this was like back when Facebook was more of a thing, right? And we all needed to display that it was complicated

[00:11:36] Yeah, I said it's complicated because he's gay and I'm his beard like you DM to me Like what's what's the deal with this guy? And he was like cool Well, I moving back to LA and I want to take you out on a date

[00:11:46] We went out on a date and we were together ever since and so it was like I knew this person, too So it wasn't just like three years with a stranger. It was three years with somebody that I knew his family

[00:11:57] I knew his sister. I knew the background and We were really really close and I truly like I'll never forget it the last time So he made my entire family go to his mom's surprise

[00:12:08] 60th birthday party, which is crazy because he was cheating on me at the time And then I never ever heard from him again as I'm going through this breakup

[00:12:17] This girl enters my friend group and I will call her Megan I love the fake names. Yeah, Mark and Megan Mark and Megan and Megan was also from the place that he was moving from and she was the cousin of one of a girl in my

[00:12:35] Friend group who really wasn't very nice to me and I couldn't figure out why Now this is like about ten years ago. So at this point, I'm now friends with this girl and I shit you not this year ten years after the fact

[00:12:47] I found out that the reason people weren't nice to me is because I Was the girl he was cheating on her with and no one told me because they thought that I knew because when I said

[00:13:00] Mark was cheating on me, right? They thought they were like, well you lose him how you get him No, they thought that I'm I was aware of the Megan situation And

[00:13:12] So this year I sent Megan a message like on Instagram was like, I know that this was like so long ago I just need you to know I had no idea

[00:13:20] I'm today years old like I feel so bad and there's no world in which I ever would have done that right But it is crazy. God. Yeah, like men man. It is wild Why do men but I will say this that breakup I?

[00:13:34] Channeled all the way I got through it was I like made content from it. Like I made my first short film about it Yeah, and I realized like oh I can take all of this pain and channel it into something

[00:13:44] And even if you're not an artist, I think you can do that Yeah, you can channel it into becoming a better person because I went to therapist and I was like, how do you get over death?

[00:13:52] Mm-hmm, cuz this person just died. Yeah, he literally exited my life. Like how do I yeah Remove like eternal sunshine spotless mind. Like how do I get him out of me? Yeah, and nobody had answers

[00:14:04] Mm-hmm, and so it was it was painful and I mean, I just never he also his his new girlfriend Accidentally liked one of my Instagrams They would pocket dial me while they were together It's not to a point where it felt like it was really just like mean

[00:14:19] Yeah, it was pretty awful. Oh my god, that's ridiculous But I did get the last laugh because I sold a show to FX and it was about a different situation

[00:14:27] Where I found out that my boyfriend at the time had another girlfriend and I became best friends with the girl He was cheating with me on because she also didn't know and she's still her name's Alana She's still one of my really love it

[00:14:38] I sold that to FX and I texted mark and I just said hey mark. I really want to thank you. You were right Breaking up with me was the greatest gift you ever gave me and he was like, huh?

[00:14:52] He was like, I often wondered if we would ever talk again like Was like I there's so many things I wanted to say to you about that time. I think Misinformation or whatever I just said no. No, I still think you're an asshole

[00:15:09] I cannot I feel like the most shitty circumstances in our lives often become Whether it's art whether it's like selling a TV show writing a book like whatever it is It often becomes like the catalyst. Yeah, like us moving into our power. I

[00:15:29] Pain is a platform you get to choose if it's going to destroy you or propel you. Yes, but it is energy Yes, so are you gonna harness that energy and let it push you into the next chapter or is it going to bury you?

[00:15:42] Yeah, you get to decide hundred percent I watch a lot of people get buried by it and I just so badly want to encourage people like grab it Hold it use it. It will like it will move you and we're both creative

[00:15:54] So obviously it gets channeled in that way, but maybe that's you quitting a toxic job Maybe it's branching out into new friendships. Maybe it's getting the body that you've always wanted Yeah It's going on a solo trip like exactly how I like your healing like whatever it is

[00:16:10] Like use it because you said something really interesting that I've I've said on the show before Like grief and heartbreak are in the same fucking family. They hang out Yeah for me

[00:16:22] Who I feel like I can speak on this because I've dealt with a lot of multiple deaths in my life and really bad heartbreak Sometimes the heartbreak can be even harder. Yeah, because you're grieving someone that's still alive that has chosen to not fuck with you

[00:16:38] Like they're still out existing on this planet They just want nothing to fucking do with you hundred percent and at least in death There's some like finality in it and you're like, okay, this is what happened. They didn't choose it No

[00:16:49] this is the reason like and now I can like grieve it and accept it and move on from it and I think a lot Of times we got stuck in this loop In the heartbreak because it's like but they're still here

[00:17:02] They chose that like what how could I have manipulated this to make it a different situation or a different outcome? Yeah, instead of being able to accept it and grieve it and move on. That's so real

[00:17:11] I think because that breakup is I believe when my core belief of me not being good enough. Yep was born Mm-hmm. I think part of what you're saying is true is because when people exit your life they reaffirm

[00:17:25] That inkling that you're too much. You're not enough. You are destined to be abandoned Yeah, whatever like we all have that Narrative. Yeah that personal it's like the monster side of our brain. Yeah that wants to just like tear us down and

[00:17:41] Like we loop it. Yeah. Well and we're attracting it subconsciously. Of course because we're like, okay, I'm not good enough Okay, I'm always gonna be abandoned. Okay. This is my story So then we're attracting people that appear to be like great new relationships

[00:17:55] But will play out that scenario so your brain can be like see bitch I told you you're always gonna be abandoned You're not enough like yeah, you're right and we have to like change that belief within ourself before we can attract better people

[00:18:07] You want to know it's so weird. Okay, so after that breakup with mark, I did heal properly and then I upgraded to like Marcus Those and I used to always say like I upgraded within us

[00:18:20] Obviously, it's not mark and Marcus. It's it's but I did do that with it with the person that I dated and What was so beautiful about it is, you know I had made this movie about my breakup and then I met him on the film festival circuit

[00:18:33] Oh nice It was great and that relationship was like loving and amazing and then when we broke up I did not heal properly hmm, and I jumped into a relationship and that's when I met the guy who We did it for eight months and for four of them

[00:18:46] he had a secret girlfriend who is now one of my close friends and Then I just I didn't really heal like I was just kind of trying to run away Yeah from the pain and I was also really what I was running away from was like I

[00:18:58] Have to prove that I am enough, right? Like I have to prove that I am worthy and that someone does love me and that like I can do this Yeah, and I also wanted it

[00:19:08] And so I think it's so fascinating because I can go back and look at that relationship with mark and say oh wow That's like when the core wound developed and yet I had the foresight as this, you know young child Sit here with my Walker

[00:19:23] And like I handled that well and then as I got older and more mature man I mean I told you I just was like daisy-chaining from dick to dick. Yeah, just trying to

[00:19:34] That should be on a fucking shirt daisy-chaining from dick to dick. I truly it was like monkey bars, you know Oh my god the visual Okay, yeah

[00:19:47] It's so interesting to me that you can track it back and like recognize the pattern and I think if people sit down and like Look at their past relationship history, like everyone can do that. Yeah, like mines with the abandonment stuff

[00:20:01] You know, like I my ex-husband like abandoned me in like the most heinous shitty way possible Javier abandoned me like quite literally before we're getting on a plane to Europe like it's like You said that on when you did my show and you broke it down

[00:20:14] You were like first my dad then my ex-husband yeah, then the man that I thought was swooping in to be like my knight in shining armor and

[00:20:21] I remember the way that you said that I was like how that's so real and sinked and like of course it just I mean literally abandoning you right before you got on the plane. Yeah, like it's not almost comical when you look at it

[00:20:36] Yeah to be like the universe was like, okay it like guess she didn't get it with like the ex-husband So maybe if we like actually like make him be like peace out bitch right before they get on the plane. It'll click

[00:20:49] It did thankfully but yeah, like it's hard to recognize those patterns But when you can do that, it's the biggest key into what you need to fix in your own shit To attract the better people. Yeah future

[00:21:04] I think for me the unlock was yes that and then also just realizing like I needed to be happy with myself by Myself. Mm-hmm. Well, yeah, and when your confidence is so rock-solid it really doesn't matter

[00:21:17] Like I truly don't care. I got set up on a blind date with this guy and it went well I but I don't fall in love after the first date anymore. Like I don't it's really hard to win me now

[00:21:29] Right, and I'm not saying that from the place of an avoidant I'm saying that where it's like I truly believe I am so worthy and I know I'm about to upgrade whoever I End up partnering with your life is gonna get an upgrade. Yeah, so you

[00:21:45] For free yeah You need to put in effort and I also am like such a mirror. I was explaining this to a guy last night I was like no no mirror. Mm-hmm with everyone your friends your work

[00:21:58] The romantic partners if people aren't giving you the love and the respect that you deserve that's fine Yeah, don't bend over backwards for those people. Yeah, unless maybe they're your parents or your children like this

[00:22:10] Yeah, there are and even then like I can tell them to set up Okay, so what the fuck happened when with the guy after who you were with for eight months and four months in

[00:22:29] Or for four months of that he was he had a secret girlfriend. So this is crazy So basically I was dating Marcus and we had bed death the sex died and then the relationship wait I've never heard the term bed death bed death. Yes

[00:22:44] that's when the sex dries up and then the relationship dies and the truth of the matter was is that I Wasn't confident enough in my sexuality at that point to say to him like hey I need more foreplay or like I'm not really getting off

[00:22:58] I'm not enjoying our sex. I just didn't want to have this ex right and I loved our life together So we really truly like we went to Italy together didn't have sex we dated for yeah Wow

[00:23:10] it was months and months and months and then he broke up with me and I was like yes because it was Clear that we were more like it was more of a roommate right? And to this day. We're still friends like I adore him

[00:23:21] He's such an incredible person like the guy that had a secret girlfriend for four. No, no, this is This is This is the guy before that like yeah, got it. Okay, so So when I met the next guy two weeks later, I didn't want to hurt Marcus's feelings

[00:23:38] Mm-hmm, and I had been working with this guy for Like three months on a show that I was making for his company Okay, and so the show was already made so it would have looked and I got flown out for new friends

[00:23:52] So it was going to look very sketchy and I have no problem admitting I mean, I've just admitted so many pathetic things about me Like I have no if I was if I truly felt like I had seen this guy in a different like no

[00:24:03] I went to new friends. I looked at him and I was like is Josh hot like Sorry, like how come nobody told me this and we started dating and I said to him. Hey two things

[00:24:15] I don't want people to think I got my job because we're dating or because this is long in the works Yeah, and I don't want to hurt Marcus's feelings. So let's keep our relationship private Mmm, girl, you think that didn't bite me in the ass?

[00:24:31] Which it but is valid coming from where you were at the time. Yes Yeah, but there are no photos of me on his Instagram. There's no photos of him on my Instagram

[00:24:41] There's no like documented proof, right? We start an area for people to be shady an area for people to be shady So we start dating and then four months in he's sitting next to a girl on an airplane

[00:24:55] Which is absolutely romantic unless I'm the one being cheated on What a love story, oh wait, no, no, you're actually my boyfriend And he pursued her and they dated for Eight months and at one point one person said to her. Hey, he has a girlfriend named Rory

[00:25:18] Mm-hmm, and she confronted him and he said no no God that girl. She is a psycho She is stopping me. We briefly dated I broke up with her She just like can't get over it got his best friend

[00:25:32] Who I knew and it spent time with him and his wife to vouch for me and another person at the company Oh my god, I hate people men will men again. Why do men it's crazy?

[00:25:45] So, okay just to be clear if you're a guy listening to this we know women do this too We're batshit crazy as well. But like for the circumstance being presented right now. Why do men? Yes Here's the thing

[00:25:57] Am I still trying to find a man a hundred percent? Still love you. I'm like kids mental illness without men, but also can't spell it without me I'm dead So then She goes and tries to find evidence online and there's I'm a ghost right?

[00:26:17] And so she believes him. Yeah, and then You want to take a guess at how I found out? Oh god. Oh God, okay, so he was ugly. Okay. Okay. Is that supposed to help me guess? Yeah

[00:26:31] So here's the thing about like dating that ugly man or an unphotogenic man, okay You will find a photo of them where they look good. Yeah, we'll cherish it right because there's one maybe two

[00:26:43] And in this man's case, it was in the tagged photos a couple years back So I would always look at the tag photos to be like, oh, that's my boo. Right? You know that tick-tock

[00:26:52] This is your man. Yes, and he should like yeah, I'm like that was me with Josh Like he looks like my left foot. Oh my god. Actually looks like he looks like sad. Where's Waldo? Oh, wow

[00:27:04] What a what a good description. I feel like I can really visualize him now. Yeah, you're like Wait, I know that is wildly accurate. You're like, oh, I know his real name

[00:27:13] So I went to the tagged photos and tell me why at the top of the tag photos My boyfriend was in a hotel room with his arms around another woman and there were 13 hearts as the caption 13 yeah Wow, I know my heart fell out of my asshole

[00:27:30] I was like what the actual fuck and once I got over there like Barney of the other girl. She didn't know well No, I know but that's ballsy to just like post a picture

[00:27:41] I mean were they like in an actual relationship at the warm on sin? Oh, okay. So it's like not that ballsy It's like no normal. It's like normal. Oh I see it and I'm like Oh Like like yeah, I don't know

[00:27:55] I mean when you could cheat it on I feel like I've like described it is like jumping into really freezing cold water Yeah, it's like on the one hand. You have the most adrenaline but then on the other hand you're like paralyzed Yeah

[00:28:05] I describe it as the surge in my book and it's like when your heart drops out of your ass like when you get called To the principal's office. Yes. Yes So I'm just spiral panicking because he's supposed to be at a wedding

[00:28:18] And now I've seen this photo and I screenshot it and they sent it to him and you know what he did He untags himself. Stop it Thank you that fixed the problem

[00:28:28] I was like, like I don't have the screenshot one like to like I didn't count the number of hearts There were 13 13 is not casual. Yeah, I mean one's not casual but 13 says like 13 is excessive I mean, I know which is so fun caption

[00:28:42] Constantly like make fun of her for that So bad so he untags himself and then we go through the next like four or five days of him trying to be like I'm so in love with you. Like she means nothing. I'm using her for her contacts, too

[00:28:57] I'm definitely in love with her and like we're not even dating. I'm like what we're not dating. Could you scroll up? Seven texts. Yeah, where you said you loved me on Tuesday. Like what are you it was crazy Wow He was not a good gaslighter

[00:29:13] I have some I have some notes for you Let me teach you what you're trying to do. I'm like there are other guys who have done it this better Yeah, so then we break up. It was awful. I

[00:29:25] weighed the decision as to whether or not to tell her I Stalked the shit out of her like I knew everything about this girl and I became obsessed with her in such an unhealthy way And I think part of the reason why we're really good friends now

[00:29:39] Is that this whole relationship and my relationship with Alana really taught me like the other woman is not your enemy No, like all of the stuff that I was projecting at her insecurities on my own

[00:29:50] and so like I feel so grateful that that was the lesson that came into my life because now if I Met a man and was happily in love but some woman came and quote-unquote seduced him and he left me not mad at her

[00:30:04] Yeah, she is not my enemy and he's the one that broke the promise. Yeah, not her like true Yeah, I think this is like been such a hot debate on tik-tok with like all the cheating scandals that come out

[00:30:16] I think there's a middle ground because I'm in total agreement with you Like I never when I found out about everything wasn't like fuck this girl Like it's her fault that and there were like so many others that I didn't write about in the book

[00:30:30] Sure. Yeah, there's never it's never one that came to light like after the book went viral and stuff There's a long list of women I ended up talking to and I do think that when the other woman has knowledge That they're in a relationship

[00:30:48] Then it becomes like you guys are both shitty people and the and honestly still what I care Yeah, and it's like I still I'm not going to blame you necessarily But like you're you both suck at that point

[00:31:01] Because you're both like making the conscious choice to like do this in like a not great way for someone else Is it his relationship to protect and his fault? Ultimately, of course. Yeah, but like if both people are in the know you both suck

[00:31:15] Yes, but then I'm so grateful that you found each other Yeah, and like you can have really truly right off into the trash out for me I will be over here trash will always take itself out. Yeah, I yes could not be in more agreement like

[00:31:28] Then match made in hell. Yeah, love it. And I love that you guys are like BFFs now well to make a long story very short I Around Cinco de Mayo, which was when I broke up with Mark the original. Mm-hmm, or he called me

[00:31:43] Breakup makes it sound like I had anything Yeah, when mark called me and I had a like a total meltdown So Cinco de Mayo is like this really kind of important

[00:31:53] holiday for me that makes me like reflect back on my life and my love life and all these things and I was so obsessed With this girl in this relationship and like why couldn't I let it go?

[00:32:00] And this is very like woo-woo, but so we get woo-woo on this show. It's fine I felt like there was this energy connecting us. I think two things were happening one I was replaying out the unworthiness trauma that

[00:32:14] Mark had like given me right or I inherited and then two I didn't realize that I was being invoked all the time in their relationship I Will see you go back to this. Okay, so it's Cinco de Mayo

[00:32:27] I'm like finding myself obsessing she's supposed to move to LA and I'm having this meltdown thinking. Oh my god She's gonna move to LA like she's gonna be in my group of friends

[00:32:37] Like she's gonna steal my life like ah, like crazy crazy thinking right and when I started to say those things out loud I like meditated journaled. I wrote them letters. I like said release me like I I

[00:32:48] Don't want to give you love. Yeah, I don't want this anymore Went to bed woke up less than 12 hours later. I get a call from an unknown number And I knew it was her and she called me on my cell phone

[00:33:01] Hysterically crying. Oh, she's like, I'm so sorry. I just found out about you. Oh my god. There was a third woman. Oh And when the third woman emailed her screenshots of like hey, I'm a fan of yours because she was also a public person

[00:33:14] I'm a fan of yours And I've been talking to your boyfriend on Bumble and like sorry I took it further because I wanted to prove to you that this guy's a piece of shit and you just wow

[00:33:22] Sent it to her. She was like she immediately knew that I had to be real and is such a gangster She held his computer eight stories like over a balcony and was like you give me the password or I'm dropping this computer

[00:33:34] And yes, bitch, he didn't want to lose his computer, but he lost his girlfriend that day Oh my god Put it in found my name found everything got my phone number called me and was in LA two days later

[00:33:44] And that's how we got together and became like really good friends and she said We would fight about you Mmm, because it just I didn't understand why this guy had told me that he had a girlfriend and like why did right you get

[00:33:57] Brought up so like we would fight about you Why would someone make that up? Like I felt like she was like, I think a part of me knew it was true and I was resisting it Yeah, and I couldn't find a shred of evidence

[00:34:11] But yeah, your name would come up. And so I think that's also part of the reason why I had a hard time Cutting that cord right and I just don't think it's an accident the day that I did it was the day after she called me

[00:34:24] Yeah, I found out no, it was like the energy needed to be completed in some. Yeah in some weird way Oh, I know. Oh my god. Why what a piece of work? Yeah, do we know where he is now?

[00:34:36] Yeah, he still works in media. He's still so ugly Still He's still a left foot and the girl after Like fucking five bitches they're juggling at once So the funny thing is is like guys that I have I've dated or my guy friends

[00:34:56] They'll always just be like, I don't understand like how this guy got all these babes and I'm like Yeah, it really is a manipulation thing. Oh, yeah Like my ex-husband, I wouldn't call him ugly but like Come on, like he was not the one

[00:35:15] Instagram models, no, sir. No Totally. Yeah. No, it's it's there is a niche sort of pain that comes when you get Rejected or cheated on by a man you lowered your standards for fucking a yes

[00:35:32] Yes, which is why I refuse yeah no longer and it's so funny too because when I look back on my relationship with my ex-husband like He was the one like I had always dated the guys that were like kind of the bad boys

[00:35:44] You needed to fix and it was like I fixed the shit out of them. They're all fucking great now leveled. You're welcome but like I Remember when we started dating all of my friends and family were like, oh he's like the nice guy

[00:35:57] Like he's the guy that like you don't really need to like fix or do anything a lot of people after everything happened We're like, yeah, we kind of didn't love him at the first but like he car salesman us into us loving him

[00:36:09] And I'm like cool next time tell me that beforehand Yes, but yeah Like that he was definitely someone that like if you lined up the people I had dated in the past like he didn't really fit In yeah. Oh, I fully agree with this

[00:36:23] I think that they there's something about safe guys Mm-hmm, and if you've ever been cheated on or rejected or you have abandonment issues I do think it's not uncommon to go to somebody that feels safe because you go this man would never leave me like the math

[00:36:36] Does not math on this right? He is clearly dating up by right marrying you or dating me Yes, and then when they do it really is such a it shatters Yeah, it's a shock to the system. Yeah, you're like wait. No this

[00:36:52] This was not in the game plan totally. Yeah, why I pivoted in the first God yeah. No, so I refuse to date ugly men now. Yeah, I mean guys like a Sorry I said no

[00:37:07] I say this all the time that like if you look at like the past three men I've been with going from like I'm in the past like actual relationships not like the people that were in between Yeah, but like my ex-husband flyover states

[00:37:21] Love that my ex-husband to Javier to Tay It's like we upgraded and we upgraded an age we upgraded and looks we upgraded in like caliber big time caliber character fucking like everything Yes

[00:37:35] And like I consider myself and I know a lot of people that like thirst over him on the internet too So shout out. Oh, yeah Like I consider him the hottest guy I've ever dated and Ben with as you should as he considers me

[00:37:51] I love that for me, too You know and like we're stupid and like laugh together and like it's so crazy to me This is like TMI guys Sorry

[00:37:59] but like looking back on it and I've said this out loud today because like we're just like we just don't really care like well He'll be in the shower. I'll take a shit in the same bathroom

[00:38:08] Like it just is what it is and like nobody cares. We still have hot wonderful sex I mean, I'm not the gold the dream Absolute but the thought of ever having to take a shit or fart in front of Javier or with him like

[00:38:22] Potentially hearing I'm like, I would have never gotten to that point I would have never gotten to that point to be a comfortable enough and relaxed enough in my own skin To be like that in front of him

[00:38:32] So it's like when you're with the right fucking person like all the shit starts to make sense and add up. Yeah Yeah, oh man all the shit No pun intended

[00:38:44] Everyone is gonna listen to this episode be like Wow Gabrielle. We like didn't really go there. We're like not drunk but drunk, right? She's definitely not drinking. That's definitely not drinking. Right? Um, yeah, that's I love that so much I think

[00:39:00] Man to be able to be like fully naked with another person and be seen and accepted Yes, we I think it's why do we have that with our girlfriends, right? Right or whatever peers like our people tonic relationships we can do that then

[00:39:17] Romantic relationships. It's just so much harder Yeah, I agree and like there's of course the argument of like well you have to keep the mystery alive and like you have and it's like

[00:39:26] Or we can just like love and accept the person like we're with and I'm a mystery, right? I've been with myself for 30 years and I still don't fucking get it So like I'm not really worried about that

[00:39:38] and it's like but you can have like those times and places like there are times where Tay and I are hysterically laughing to the point where we're like

[00:39:46] Crying and those are like our favorite moments to look back on if you're not like fully comfortable. You can't like get to that place Yeah, you know and it's out

[00:39:55] It's so special and that doesn't mean that that that means you can't have those like super sexual or like romantic Moments like there's times and places for like all of those to exist at one time Do you think part of that is also though that you?

[00:40:09] Really healed a lot of those wounds that prevented you from being your authentic self or prevented you from being as vulnerable Yes, I do. And I think that's a great point and question like it wasn't till I

[00:40:24] Went through the bullshit and the heartbreaks and the cheating and was like fuck everybody like I'm done That I was like really tired of like because like obviously if I wasn't my full

[00:40:35] authentic self with the person that cheated on me or the person that loved bomb me and abandoned me like That obviously wasn't working Yeah, so like why am I fucking trying to make myself into this dream person for these people that are gonna fuck me over

[00:40:49] Anyways, yeah, great question. Yes. Why do we do that? Why do we do that? I think media I think wanting so badly to be accepted and to be loved because we've all are taught like things look a certain way

[00:41:02] Right and because it's so scary to be like what if I'm going to get rejected again? Yeah. Yeah So did after the left foot No Did the daisy chain of dicks cease or were we monkey barring on to another penis?

[00:41:19] We really really monkey barred. I went through like a string of Dates that would like I would date people for a couple weeks or I'll never forget this this one guy He told me on Friday. He was like, yes. Well, let's be exclusive

[00:41:34] I want to do this and then on Monday I got like a four paragraph text that ended up being in playboy like the next month It was like don't ghost just lie and it was like verbatim what he had sent me

[00:41:44] Hilarious and it was like I recently reconnected with an ex and I need to see where it goes And but it was wild. I was like what happened this weekend? Yeah on Friday We were good and now on Monday you're like not in it, right?

[00:41:57] Although to be fair that guy had never had sex with any woman on her period I don't know. That just seems like a red flag to me. No pun intended a giant red flag Like why are you grossed out by bodily? Yeah fluids. Yeah

[00:42:10] That's like a one fun takeaway that I took away from that where I was like, man I'm gonna add that to my list of like can't do that Well, yeah Cuz it's like I'm never gonna want to give birth in front of someone that can't like do

[00:42:21] That period so weird absolutely not So I was like little mini rejections like that and then do you know what a flying monkey is? No Okay, flying monkeys are girls that enable narcissists. Wait, I'm sorry. Is this an actual term? Yes, you're kidding

[00:42:36] No, I'm not kidding. How have I never heard this? I don't know. Oh my god teach you of all people. Yeah, I know Wait, what? Yeah flying monkeys are like in the arsenal of narcissists abusers

[00:42:45] And they're like the I'm gonna pronounce her name wrong, but like the Ghislaine Maxwell's of the world Okay, or Ghislaine is a glint Gillian Gillian Girl, yeah woman. So they enable predators. Okay, like consciously like are they consciously flying monkeys? They can be both. Okay, got it Okay

[00:43:05] They benefit from being the girl that doesn't get like they get all of the like what did she get from it, right? She got money, but she also got the clout of being the one woman in his orbit. There's a power. There's a control

[00:43:18] They're like, oh, he's a nice guy to me. That's weird. I've never seen that and it's like, okay But yeah, you've also never dated or fucked this person, right? Okay, so

[00:43:26] This girl at the time sets me up with this guy. This guy's now been me too. So, you know, right for I thought He was a good guy

[00:43:35] I went in with the knowledge that this guy was great great for me and was looking for all the same things I was looking for so I didn't go in looking for red flags

[00:43:45] Huge mistake. I was also coming off the heels of that breakup. He knew all of this and this man Was a predator so he preyed on that and he literally was like I've been cheated on like I've had it so much worse

[00:43:59] Like it were like we're in the same boat, right? He out of the gate on the first date Oh, this is so dark brace yourself listeners he said to me I Was molested as a child Which I now know is a lie God, I hate people now

[00:44:18] There is not a world in which I would ever ever question somebody. Oh, he made me listen to podcasts He made me listen read books on it Oh my god

[00:44:28] And because of that he said I can only have like consensual monogamous sex and it takes me a really long time Yeah Oh god the commitment the commitment to this lie shit lie. Oh my god It's so cringe so cringe

[00:44:42] and then I had a lot of weird rules when we were dating like I could only keep my phone face up because he said If it was face down, it would trigger him to think that I was like cheating on him

[00:44:52] He told me all of these wild stories I now know because I've met a lot of these women that those stories are all true. He just reversed it, right? He wasn't surprised with the threesome he surprised another woman with a threesome with a sex worker

[00:45:05] yeah, which is not a thing not a thing like there were just so many and I was so I Love that person. Like I love me in that moment. I feel so bad for her

[00:45:17] I really bottomed out in so many ways and I wish I could just like hug that version of myself Mm-hmm, but I also my girl you were so pathetic Like this was such pathetic behavior like what I was doing

[00:45:30] I went crazy like my body was not right. My friends were like you're not acting normal Not one of my friends liked him. Hmm, like my good long-term friends were like we don't like him

[00:45:43] I was like, no, no, no, but you just don't know him like so many excuses on my part bending over backwards Just doing everything for him He breaks up with me the details are not important

[00:45:57] I mean, well actually, you know what the details are really important that's my flying monkey. Mm-hmm so we eventually he makes me wait forever to have sex with him and He would do things where we would like kiss for the first time and he would be like wow

[00:46:09] This is just really hard for me because like you're the first person I've kissed since my ex and then it would be like the next Thing it's like oh you're the first person that's like Seen me naked since my like there were all these conversations

[00:46:22] Everything was like a big deal and now looking back knowing that he was like raw dogging chicks five minutes before I would show up Oh my god, it's like it's crazy. Like the yeah, like the psychosis that that person must have been in

[00:46:35] I know wonder I felt crazy. Like I was yeah, totally detached from my body. That's terrifying. It's terrifying Jesus what it gets worse Because I've met two of the women that I've met have now told me that he assaulted them and

[00:46:51] One of them happened while I was with him. Yeah. Oh my god. I don't want to cry it's an idea that like I was with like a man who Took advantage of someone and then slept with me is like really like yes, it messes with me

[00:47:08] I'm like no wonder I wasn't okay Do you know what? I mean like no wonder just even like the way if you believe in energy or anything like no wonder I felt crazy Yeah, well cuz there's a part of your energy that's like picking up on that

[00:47:22] Subconsciously and trying to block that from yourself. Yes. Yes and like but then wanting so badly to believe that he was a good guy because I didn't want to Believe that I had been conned or that I'd missed the red flags

[00:47:36] Like if he really wasn't the good part that I could see Yeah, then that meant I was really really broken Yeah, and I was and I really didn't want to believe that I was broken. I Really wanted to believe that I could trust myself

[00:47:52] Yeah, because if he wasn't the guy that I believed he was it meant that like I was no longer a trustworthy Source. Mm-hmm. And that's a really scary place to be like in your body going like

[00:48:05] How am I being abused? Like how am I in this toxic relationship? I'm this strong Independent woman that is smart, you know Like I have everything like people look at my life and they want what I have

[00:48:17] Like how did I end up in this and that's why it has forever changed? My opinion of people who end up in cults and my opinion who end up in abusive relationships whether it's emotional Verbal physical like I get it. I fully understand

[00:48:30] It's like sunk cost effect the longer you're in it the harder it is to get out Yeah, and the flying monkey one day basically That girl said You know, I I hate to be the one to do this. I'm like no no she got off on it

[00:48:46] She sent me screenshots of him DM in another woman and if they were time-stamped so I knew he was in my bed at the time, hmm and The sad part was I wasn't even going to like break up with him

[00:49:00] I was going to like have a conversation and I don't even remember The argument hmm because I was so Gaslit and yelled at and like manipulated in such a way that I fully disassociated from my body

[00:49:13] Like I know that I apologized. I know that I left apologizing and I know that I left wanting to make it work, right? That's all I know right which like from an outrageous perspective is insane. Yeah, that shit crazy It's a typical for of course Yeah

[00:49:28] And then I went on vacation because it was happening over Christmas and it was my birthday and he didn't talk to me and Then he was posting a different girl on social media and immediately moved on and I had to start going to therapy twice a week

[00:49:40] And I literally was like, I'm losing my mind. Like I'm not okay and I just started to do the work and Six months out. I felt Strong enough trying to go get my stuff from his house and I'll never forget it

[00:49:54] he tried to make a move on me and I still like six months after was like No, let's be friends first. It's not that I didn't want it I still wanted it because it's I still wanted to prove it to my ego

[00:50:08] yeah, like like my Freudian ego not like ego ego and Then it was pretty clear that he didn't want to be my friend. He just wanted to like yeah, I'm Gurmey he just wanted to like have sex and just prove that he could still control me and

[00:50:21] That's when again my superpower I got a call from a friend who asked me to come to set I turned my car around I said I only have two hours and I showed up on set. I randomly started speaking to a woman. I had never met before

[00:50:35] Had literally no mutuals with her except for one him hmm and She made a comment about him and then was like, yeah That's like I dated him and I dated him in the fall of whatever and she she goes. Oh my god

[00:50:51] Are you okay? And she watched the color like drain from my face. Mm-hmm, and I was like I dated him then and We pulled out our phone. Oh my god matched all of the times

[00:51:04] And then I was at a dinner party like three months after that and I met a woman he assaulted in college Jesus dude, and It would just it would be like that for a very long time and then when he got called out there were women that

[00:51:17] came forward but there was like 20 women who DM does privately Wow or texted and You know, I he got called out for a lot of things because he was just a bad person like 365

[00:51:28] so like that was great that I didn't have to really get into detail about what had happened to me or the All of the nitty-gritty and none of the women that were assaulted came forward which by the way, like I fully fully fully support because

[00:51:43] It's really like not a safe environment You know Like I was getting dragged in headlines on the gossip sites and stuff and just has his name been released publicly Mm-hmm. Yeah So it's like a yeah, it's just not it's not a great

[00:51:58] It took me a long time to come back from that. I'm ultimately like really grateful I feel like it's given me such an insight into Helping other people and relationships. I see how it happened. I consider myself Extremely extremely lucky that it was as short as it was

[00:52:17] I feel so grateful for the friends in my life that warned me I like there's a you know, there's a lot of really bad things that happen from that Yeah, I wish I could have avoided but like to circle back to what we said

[00:52:31] I mean pain is a platform that you either are going to jump off of and Sail up level or it's gonna bury you. Yeah, and I have chosen to take that moment and really like

[00:52:44] Make myself better. And so I am grateful for it. Yeah, I really do think that it informed so much of my growth and my healing and who I am today and If there's anybody that's like in a situation like it does get better

[00:52:58] Like you can absolutely heal and you can bounce back better and you will and you're not stupid and you're not alone unfortunately, like you know My story is very specific But when I read your book the things you talked about with your ex-husband felt very relatable to me

[00:53:14] Yeah The way that he would pick apart at your body or your success or lack of success just your job like all of that I really related to that. Yeah, and that's you know, like again with what you're saying

[00:53:27] I was the same way. Like I was a strong-ass bitch. You still are But even in that relationship I was like a strong chick so like I still fell into Excusing that behavior. Yeah, so yeah, definitely

[00:53:41] Don't feel stupid if you've experienced something like that if you are experiencing something like that Like we are both walking examples of how far you can come on the other side once you start demanding your worth Yeah, I mean Gosh, yeah

[00:53:55] And it all it made me really have to confront the fact that like I actually can give myself worthiness Mm-hmm. I do not need men to give me worthiness or romantic partners, you know

[00:54:07] There's something that like I try to tell people when they're going through breakups or heartache, you know There's the emotional side of things and then that's confidence like confidence is about keeping promises to yourself

[00:54:18] So even if it's I'm going to drink a liter of water every day this week The inverse of that is and I'm using this as an example because it's so common and relatable not because I love Bringing things back to diet. I actually hate diet culture

[00:54:33] but if you say I'm starting my diet tomorrow and then you don't and you're like I'm starting my diet tomorrow and you don't and you do that for a week or two weeks You start to feel really bad about yourself. Yeah, but if you say I'm going to

[00:54:45] Meditate every day this week and then you do it you start to realize. Oh when I tell myself I'm gonna do things Mm-hmm, I do them I can trust myself. Yeah, you start to build that confidence back in yourself

[00:54:57] Yeah, it's the same as what I talked about like is the self-love cocktail. Yes Yes, like commit to showing up for yourself and then do things that make you experience loving yourself. Yeah, I loved I loved that

[00:55:07] I mean, I think that you really really have dialed in kind of how to attack that and I did that sort of instinctually or intuitively and Now I know when I'm feeling bad about myself

[00:55:22] I just kind of isolate and I say like okay where in my body do I feel this right? And what does it kind of look like and really what is the story? Yeah, and it never has to do with Whatever the thing is, you know

[00:55:35] Maybe it's I got rejected from Like a studio is like not they're passing or a guy that I'm into is ghosting me or whatever if I take those things and it goes into

[00:55:47] Yeah, see, um, I never get what I want and I'm gonna die alone or I'm just yeah Like I'm not lucky or I'm not talented. Whatever. That's like that hyperbolic thinking. I just have to be like stop

[00:56:00] That's the narrative that's the movie we don't do that here like actually you're incredible you're amazing You're doing everything you need to do. Like do you need to give yourself some self-love some self-care today, right?

[00:56:12] Do we need to like put on a movie that we like or what? What do we need to do and then course correct? Yes, but I don't know that I ever would have had that With knowledge without going through being broken. Yeah, so

[00:56:24] You've acknowledged that like you attracted really similar patterns Into your life and relationships like with the cheating with the always like, you know DMing other people like those were like multiple examples of like the same story playing out. Yeah different ways

[00:56:40] So once you recognize that it was around not feeling worthy What did you do to change that moving forward? So you weren't attracting the same assholes? Well, I got into therapy so there was that always the first step

[00:56:57] Yeah, I've like my relationship with therapy is like a tango like we like go apart. We come back together We go apart we come back together like totally like spin me out bring me back Actually, I don't even know if that's tango. Is that tango? No, whatever

[00:57:12] So therapy I think it was giving myself Like changing my environment and by my environment. I meant like Purging my home life starting new habits and then not dating I had to put a little kibosh on that. Yeah, and I had to start writing myself letters

[00:57:29] I had to start thinking about like what I actually wanted the future to look like and Going. Okay. Well, what's the distance between future me and now me and like how do we get myself there? I love that and being patient with myself

[00:57:42] yeah, and feeling like when I started to spiral stopping that like stopping those neural pathways that were negative and Were the story about like not being good enough and creating new ones Yeah, and I didn't do like ketamine or any of that kind of stuff

[00:57:57] Although I know that that is some people do do that my creating those neural pathways for me It was truly like I have mantras Like I will write them in my phone

[00:58:05] And it can be as simple as like I am worthy of the love that I want and I'm going to get it Well, I'm I'm actively getting it. Yeah and repeating that and sometimes I would have to repeat that to myself like a hundred times a day

[00:58:16] Mm-hmm. Yeah sounds it up on your mirror like all the places you're gonna see it in your car. Yes. Yes and Truly believing it and doing things that refilled my cup Mm-hmm and got me deeper in touch with the things that like I loved and wanted

[00:58:31] Yeah, you know for some people that's gonna be nature for some people that's gonna be going to art museums for some people It's gonna be with your friends I also did reinvest in my friendships and you know what I have not done ever again is ignore those

[00:58:43] Yeah, I don't care if I meet well, I don't really believe in like Prince Charming But like if the night in shining whatever yeah Waltzes into my life and whisks me off my feet. I am never ever ever ignoring those relationships with my friends. Yeah

[00:59:00] Ever because those are the people that are gonna hold me down no matter what right and I am also like constantly expanding that group Mm-hmm

[00:59:10] What a good fucking lesson though, because I I think a lot of people will relate to when they get into a relationship kind of like Allowing that to of course succumb like their whole identity and that's so fun. Oh, and it's so unhealthy Yes

[00:59:25] So fun to be like yes I'm in a couple and we're gonna do things and it's the we have it all and to just spend every waking moment together No, yeah forever is a really long time. Yeah, you can do everything you want to do

[00:59:39] You don't have to do it in the first, you know month week year would day whatever, you know Yeah, so yeah, and and also this is the thing for me personally like not pushing my goals aside. Mm-hmm

[00:59:51] For other people. Yeah, like committing to I think when you're a writer It's really easy to be like, I just won't write today, right? I want to do this thing or I need to be there for him or whatever. No, no

[01:00:01] No, yeah, you will never come between me and my goals now. Yeah show up for yourself showing up for myself Yeah, and what's cool about that is like once you establish those boundaries So in like any kind of crypto bro or tech bro that has a podcast

[01:00:16] Which I've I've heard I mean, I don't I'm not a regular listener of strongest frame wins so like if you go into negotiations the strongest frame wins meaning like whoever knows what their limits are and

[01:00:29] Refuses to like kind of back down right? It's going to come out with the strongest deal And I feel like that is where I'm at in my personal life. Yeah, I have real non-negotiables about My work life my health My friend life. Yeah, and so I no longer

[01:00:47] Take the ticket take the ride. I also loved the journey. Like I have so many Like oh, we're going out on a first date and you want to drop Molly at like midnight and just see what happens Like yeah, I've done that

[01:00:59] You know what I mean like I have I gotten in a car and gone on a road trip with a virtual stranger because it Just sounds fun. Yes I'm glad you're not dead by the way

[01:01:12] There were times we came I mean no, I'm I look back and I'm like I'm so lucky. I was protected by the divine And I'm also like this is why my parents were worried, right? Like yeah, cuz we do crazy stuff. Yeah, but I loved the adventure

[01:01:27] I loved the story, you know like Hopping on an airplane to go meet a drummer in a band and having like a crazy weekend out on a lake house Like yeah and having that I would I would do that. But now I no longer

[01:01:40] I've had those stories. I've had those experiences I'm not saying that I'm like boring but I mean it's like knowing what your priorities are. Yeah Yeah, and like oddly thankful for all the bullshit that you've gone through because what a gift

[01:01:54] Yeah to be able to stand in your power in that sense and be like this is what I'm worth This is what I deserve and this is what I'm not settling for less than a hundred percent. I mean like God, I wish I could give that to every

[01:02:06] Everyone everyone like I'm going to go through it to get there for yourself Oh, I think everybody has to go Yeah Like I look back at myself before heartbreak and who I am now is closer to who I was before I ever fell in love

[01:02:19] Yeah, but I think I'm better now like the heartbreak definitely I don't know. They say like diamond is pressurized carbon. Yeah, or like how Stones get shined by like being weathered like I definitely relate to that. Yeah, same girl This has been such a fun episode

[01:02:38] I feel like we like laughed got really great tea and then also got serious and like gave some healing This is very well-rounded. It's weird because there is a microphone in front of me

[01:02:52] Now I'm like wait, what did I just say what did I just spill no, it was all we used fake names It was all wonderful. I expected nothing less in having you on the show Can you please tell everyone where they can find your podcast which I love

[01:03:08] Your episode is so good. It was a lot of fun. I have a podcast called crimes of the heart It's a love and dating podcast that also takes like the most kind of insane stories

[01:03:17] And I turn them into true crime reenactments that my guests and I listen to and then just discuss it's so fun I'm at I could be blonder My am name when I was 12 on Instagram and then at Rory uphold on tick-tock. Yeah, you post some great shit

[01:03:31] I a lot of license plates Unhinged selfies Unhinged Rory, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your crazy roller coaster of a journey That has has led you into being the badass that you are. Thank you for being you

[01:03:47] Thank you for creating the stuff that you have I I'm so glad that I found you and I honestly I can't wait to see what you do next because I know that you're just Getting started ditto girl happy to know. Yeah. Yeah I

[01:04:02] Want to thank Rory so much for coming on today. I Absolutely adore her I hope you guys go check out her podcast it's wildly fun what she does on that show and she's just all around a good fucking human and I appreciate her candor and her vulnerability and

[01:04:20] Shooting the shit with me today. I had so much fun Recording this in person with her and I hope you guys enjoyed it just as much as I did. I love you all so much watch out for those fucking flying monkeys and keep

[01:04:36] Yourself safe from the narcs out there guys. I love you. I will see you next week All right FM L'ers if you don't want to miss an episode make sure to follow on your favorite podcast app and if you're loving the show

[01:04:52] Drop us a 5 star rating and leave a review You can keep up with me on instagram at Gabrielle stone or the podcast page at fml talk Podcast for all the merch and books signed personally by me You can shop the FML line on eat pray fml

[01:05:09] Calm and as always have a fucking self-love cocktail on me. Cheers This podcast has been brought to you by podcast nation