Pastor to Stripper: The Incredible F%cking Story of Nikole Mitchell

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[00:01:32] What is up all my beautiful freaking people welcome back to another episode of Ethamaltalk you guys this episode is fucking wild.

[00:01:41] You will be sat for this entire episode.

[00:01:45] There needs to be no other explanation sit back grab a fucking cup of tea keep the pot boiling and welcome to Ethamaltalk.

[00:01:55] Oh my wait how old would we ever grow?

[00:01:57] 19 people we've actually had.

[00:01:58] This is Gabrielle Stone.

[00:02:00] Good boy.

[00:02:01] He did more 48 hours.

[00:02:05] Yeah but if you see all the bones on our Instagram and this is Ethamaltalk.

[00:02:09] Oh no she didn't.

[00:02:12] Okay y'all my draw was on the floor of this entire episode.

[00:02:16] All you need to know going into this is that Nicole Mitchell is here and she was a pastor turned stripper adult entertainer.

[00:02:26] That's it.

[00:02:27] That's all you need to know.

[00:02:28] It's a shocking as it sounds and if not more we get into the discussion of adult entertainment only fans.

[00:02:35] The money that comes with that leaving the church like it's fucking bananas.

[00:02:41] Here we go.

[00:02:46] Nicole Mitchell welcome to Ethamaltalk and so excited for this conversation.

[00:02:51] Me too thank you for having me.

[00:02:53] It's gonna be so good.

[00:02:54] Oh my god yes I can't wait.

[00:02:57] So I gave everybody a little teaser in the intro but I felt like it would be best for you to really tell your story of how you went

[00:03:07] from one extreme to the other and really give everybody the play by play of what the hell happened.

[00:03:16] Yeah a lot has happened so I went viral as the pastor turned stripper and kind of took the world by storm for I guess the woman for being a woman who prioritizes her pleasure

[00:03:27] and really throughout the shackles of her life long addiction of people pleasing.

[00:03:34] Right like I was always who everyone told me to be.

[00:03:37] I was a good daughter, a good wife, a good mother.

[00:03:40] I was a good girl through and through and it wasn't until at my mid 30s I realized I was queer.

[00:03:47] And when I had that realization it made me begin to question everything because if I don't even know my own sexuality

[00:03:54] what else do I think I'm totally right about that I'm totally wrong about it.

[00:03:59] And so I went on this two year journey of kind of peeling back all the layers unpacking all the indoctrination I was passed out to me and asking, is this my truth or was this a truth I was told to have.

[00:04:11] Right and did it know where it's gonna lead me like it was a very scary journey I left my church.

[00:04:16] I really pulled in hired a life coach to kind of support me that journey because I just knew my community at that time we're not build a whole make through that.

[00:04:24] And led to a very liberated very sexual life that has brought me so much joy given me lots of orgasms has made me a lot of money but that was not the plan.

[00:04:35] I didn't have a plan except to find out what is my truth and that truth ended up setting me free setting me up for a very different lifestyle that completely changed the quality of life for me and my children.

[00:04:48] Wow, okay.

[00:04:51] There's so much to unpack here.

[00:04:53] Okay so the the church that you were a part of what faith was that it was non-genomination with Baptist roots.

[00:05:01] Okay and when you had this realization that you were queer you were a pastor at the time.

[00:05:08] Yes, and at that time the church I think as far as I know the church is not inclusive so I knew that that was something I could never come out with because I would possibly lose my job there.

[00:05:18] Right okay so you have this realization what was there something that brought that awakening on.

[00:05:24] You know I give credit to my church for this because one of the pastors there like actually encourage us like you should spend time with people on the other side right you shouldn't just assume you know what because I believe like you should go get to know them.

[00:05:36] So I got really involved in the LGBTQ community trying to be better ally and better advocate for them.

[00:05:43] And the more I spent time in the LGBTQ spaces like the more I found myself and I felt like this massive attraction to queer people and I kept thinking I'm just a very loving person.

[00:05:55] I just love humans and after enough exposure and like enough time in those spaces is like the coin went through the side of like oh I'm not I'm not just a loving person.

[00:06:04] I'm not straight and that's all I could identify some point I didn't know if I was gay or buy or what I just knew I wasn't straight.

[00:06:13] And that's when everything kind of unraveled from there.

[00:06:16] Yeah, okay so talk to me about I'm sure there was fear that came up with being in the church being a leader of the church and having this realization what was your initial reaction to that.

[00:06:32] Yeah, my initial reaction is oh no I'm going to lose everything and I had this brief moment of I can take it to the grave.

[00:06:41] I look straight I sound straight I had a husband at the time if we have three kids I'm like no one needs to know no one needs to know no one needs to like I was so afraid so I'm going to lose my job my church.

[00:06:52] I'm really terrified of what this means for my marriage.

[00:06:55] I would lose some of my friends at the time my family was not affirming so my I'm going to lose my entire family and it just felt like such a big cost for what I thought was a small part of myself that I can maybe just keep suppressed and never let out.

[00:07:11] Yeah, and how old if you don't mind me asking how old were your kids at the time.

[00:07:16] They were six three and one.

[00:07:18] Okay, so you were like in it parent.

[00:07:22] It was young family days I can't.

[00:07:26] No sleep, bad gent having that fucking realization going through on top of all of the shit.

[00:07:32] Okay, so how did you approach talking to your then husband about this?

[00:07:39] You know, some reason as much fear as I had the only person I was not afraid to tell was my husband.

[00:07:44] Not so much.

[00:07:44] He had always been so supportive of me and I knew he was affirming so I came out to my said hey can I tell you something I really so I self-recently and he's like yeah, and I said I'm not straight.

[00:07:59] And he said that's awesome.

[00:08:01] You know, I'll tell me how you realize this and like I shared it to the story and he said I think that's fully normal and natural and I'm really happy for you and I'm really supportive of what this journey is going to be for you.

[00:08:13] Like incredible person and I actually give him a lot of credit for who I became because he was such a safe space for me to kind of explore and discover all of me including my clearness.

[00:08:25] That's amazing.

[00:08:25] Okay, so you have this realization you hire a life coach or like okay I'm going to pull back from the church.

[00:08:33] Did you give them a reason why you left?

[00:08:36] No, I decided on the last I did this big sermon there one weekend and at the end of it I walked out and he never came back and no one followed up.

[00:08:44] No one inquired.

[00:08:47] No one asked and it was traumatic the silence was traumatic I'd spent 60 years of my life there pouring everything I was there multiple days a week.

[00:08:58] I served in the nursery I spoke to the youth group I taught and preached to the adults like I was very plugged in and I didn't show up and there was nothing and it just kind of echoed what my soul had been saying for a while like this is not the place for you so much that felt like a game or.

[00:09:14] It's so political and I'm like wait I just did put in my life to all of this and no one says anything.

[00:09:22] Why would I ever go back?

[00:09:24] Wow that's wild to me.

[00:09:27] And granted.

[00:09:29] I was saying it's a mega church it's huge so like you don't always notice when staff leave but still not one person.

[00:09:37] No, yeah but and it's I think it's interesting what you said the the silence was traumatic like the nothing.

[00:09:43] Yeah and I can understand that definitely okay so you pull back from the church what we've realized work where.

[00:09:53] How did we go from that realization to stripper right?

[00:09:57] Oh my gosh like now he just fuck women all the time and so best thing ever.

[00:10:02] Oh, take me on that journey because there's so many of us straight women out there that are like when am I going to have my gay awakening I'm so fucking over dealing with men Jesus.

[00:10:13] Everyone.

[00:10:13] Every woman should fuck a woman like every woman yeah so I kind of you know my marriage was still I was still me as time I'm now divorced but was I was still married at the time and he was very supportive of me having experiences and I was too afraid just the realization enough was enough to scare me much just having any kind of relationship with women it was terrifying and I felt very naive.

[00:10:35] Very much like a middle school when it came to women I knew men they were in gear. I did not know how to interact with a woman and a romantic or sexual way but I had a curiosity there and so I just became more and more friends with the LGBTQ community.

[00:10:50] And you know, laid it on the road I learned about only fans about one of the safe space to like express myself sexually and had the chance to make money just on the kind of awesome.

[00:11:00] And as I started in only fans just as a place to practice self expression there is no bigger agenda than that like I just want to post sexy photos.

[00:11:08] I'm too afraid to post an Instagram and Facebook and if people want to pay to see it like that's pretty awesome like I don't have a problem with that.

[00:11:16] To then when you join the only fans space you can join to what extent you're going to be involved in the adult industry and I actually started getting really involved in the adult industry a few years in.

[00:11:25] And that's where I started meeting women that I could have sex with for our content and it was really, really, really healing.

[00:11:36] To finally took me years I realized my career in this in 2016 I had sex to the first time of the woman in 2022.

[00:11:43] So to me six years like work through all my fears and all my hangups and all my blocks and all the indoctrination about how it's bad or your awkward you can't women are complicated like all of the things I had to work through and now I get to have sex with women regularly and it's.

[00:11:59] One of the best parts of my life right now.

[00:12:09] Okay, so you're a totally shit.

[00:12:12] So we're having sex with women but for also for content.

[00:12:17] Yeah, it's crazy my very first time having sex with a woman was actually with two women.

[00:12:22] It was a three to some for a documentary there was a camera crew of four people in that room and I decided laughing inside and like of course the first time I ever get a chance that's up to the woman it's a three some.

[00:12:34] One of them is a professional porn star and it's for a documentary that's can be shared in Europe and it's like my like my life.

[00:12:40] Like I think it's moments like what is my life this is so far from the life I spent most of the time.

[00:12:45] Yeah, man, I mean look that's fucking bananas like.

[00:12:50] Wow, okay, yeah, so when did the divorce come about in this journey?

[00:12:57] Yeah, so I started my only fantasy in 2019 so this was like three years after I realized it in queer and I came out publicly as queer in 2017 I identify as pansexual and.

[00:13:08] And until it was in 19 I started my only fans my husband was very supportive he's one who took all the photos he's one who's by me lingerie.

[00:13:16] Wow, we had a blast and he bought me a bracelet that December of 2019 that said keep fucking going he's like I've never seen you happier like you have to pursue this class so had fears like what am I doing this is really against everything I was taught he's like no like you come alive.

[00:13:31] You're so happy like this is meant for you. Oh my god, you know and then the next month I was gone out of modeling trip I got a phone call from him and everything blew up it was like he was like you will quit everything now you're done with modeling your don't only fans you're done my long she's Ray you're done dressing sexy you're done with social media you will come home you respect me and I will tell you how you can dress and behave it was literally a 180 overnight.

[00:13:56] It's the stories you hear like your your spouse comes home and they're like I wanted to go or it's like that's what it felt like or like everything that I thought to be true came to screeching halt and like wait what is this is sick joke.

[00:14:07] This is not funny he was dead serious and that's when our marriage blew up and I still don't know exactly what happened right then his own journey but my assumption is he was trying so hard to be good husband just like I shouldn't be a good girl and he was trying to be so supportive.

[00:14:23] I think at cost his own true beliefs. I think he had a problem with it but he always wanted me to be happy he always believed in freedom and just reached a breaking point.

[00:14:33] I think he had pushed it down and it all over one day and it came out and our marriage ended shortly after that.

[00:14:41] That's Jarring it's on the site from it was jump that it's like not comfortable but like I do I can put myself in the other position and get trying to like be supportive on this journey and like wanting you to be happy.

[00:14:52] That's crazy okay so the divorce happens have you heard what his opinions are how far you've gone into the adult entertainment industry now.

[00:15:03] But yes he's very against it and it's so funny because when we were married I would always show him they call him my gateway drug to all things liberal because he was more liberal more open minded I came from a very conservative background but like a free spirit so being and he was a safe person for me to question everything.

[00:15:18] And when we were together I always viewed it like I was here he was here and over time I was going closer to him to all the people.

[00:15:25] But when this marriage blew up happen I realized afterwards we were doing this.

[00:15:31] We actually crisscross past I went from conservative to liberal he went from liberal to conservative we both went like we've both changed drastically and it makes sense why I'm marriage was no longer working but I didn't see that coming.

[00:15:43] This whole time I thought he was super liberal and he has become super conservative and I've become super liberal it's almost like it's a joke like what what a thought that would happen to both of us.

[00:15:54] Oh my god that's such I'm like blown away.

[00:15:59] Yeah I'm like trying to take all this in and I'm like it's a lot it's a lot so okay how did the viral moment happen.

[00:16:09] Yeah so I you know my life coach have been a life coach longer than I've been and only fans stripper only fans content creator.

[00:16:17] And I was trying to grow my life coaching business and I knew the fastest way to grow your life coaching businesses through media.

[00:16:23] Get TV radio podcast magazine exposure to the masses and people can find you and what you do so I decided to pitch myself to get more media coverage because I knew I had made these drastic changes in my life and the point was if I can make these drastic changes.

[00:16:37] You can make the change that you need to do and I actually offer you know support as a coach.

[00:16:42] And so I pitched myself because you know you know you have podcasts you have to have it catchy to catch people's attention.

[00:16:49] And so like how can I catch media's attention?

[00:16:51] So I'm the one who came up with the phrase pastor turned stripper because it was the short way could describe what I done gone from good girl to free woman from religious suppression to sexual liberation like it was short,

[00:17:04] and it was not just a big deal.

[00:17:05] So I pitched it to New York Post and they it hooked them the interview me the next day, they posted an article the day after that and it went viral like it took the role by storm and obviously people love me people hated me and it didn't blow up my life coaching business right away.

[00:17:25] It blew up my only fans.

[00:17:28] I was so nice.

[00:17:30] I'm like you planned this news strategize this and like I wish I could give myself for being that credit for being that smart.

[00:17:37] I was so nice of like this is going to get my life coaching business.

[00:17:40] I got it.

[00:17:41] My God.

[00:17:42] And then I'll even people are hiding in quite get told that I only fans now everyone knew in this article that came out.

[00:17:48] I was very open because it was a very open person to a fault in this article I shared how I just agreed to have sex with someone for payment.

[00:17:57] And so now people saw oh no, hold on, doesn't just have and only fans she's like in escort so it just kind of blew up my life in the best and worst way possible and it also made me crap ton of money right so okay.

[00:18:08] It's grateful for that.

[00:18:09] Okay, so what has been your family's response to this like your parents like the people that I mean.

[00:18:18] Because this is like a big I have two FMLers who I know are listening to this episode with their draws on the fucking floor because they were both straight and married to men and they're now in love married to each other as women.

[00:18:32] And so they've navigated the whole like oh, I'm actually not straight but in a much less fucking intense way.

[00:18:40] Then you're describing right now so I can only imagine like what they're feeling listening to this episode and I'm curious how your family.

[00:18:48] We acted to not only like the realization that you were queer but the only fans and the sex and all of that like what was their reaction to this article coming out.

[00:19:01] First I got goosebumps of you telling me about that the your two listeners who are couples so I'm still happy for them. They found it to you.

[00:19:07] Oh yeah, it was so happy. It was brutal.

[00:19:11] I lost my entire family my parents all three of my siblings. I lost all three of my best friends.

[00:19:18] One of the few times in my life I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life because I still feel like Nicole. I'm still the same loving, silly, very sensitive.

[00:19:25] I've always been but now in their eyes I was a monster and I was a villain and I'd lost my way and I was wreaking havoc and destruction on my family and my children.

[00:19:35] And so we were strange for four years and my parents and I just began recognizing a year ago.

[00:19:41] My siblings and I still don't talk to my best friends and I still don't talk one quasi. So there was a big cost that came with my freedom and I'm very real about that.

[00:19:53] And I think that both hand, I both lost people and I've gained everything.

[00:20:00] Right, I gained my true friends, I gained a very loving partner.

[00:20:02] I've gained a very beautiful lifestyle from it, but it was a very, very tough road for a while there.

[00:20:09] And was that predominantly because of you coming out or because of the only fans and the.

[00:20:16] It's all about I like to joke and I don't think this is true, but I thought this is true, especially when I'm parents with the height of our issues is like I became everything they never wanted me to be.

[00:20:26] Right, so first I left the face which like devastated them.

[00:20:30] Then I decided I wanted to be rich, which is kind of immoral and unethical. Right, and then I came out as queer and then I started doing nude modeling then I be in a full on adult content creator and then I got divorced.

[00:20:44] It was everything and it was kind of back to back and it was I get it, it was too much too soon too fast.

[00:20:53] And my people couldn't handle that quick of a metamorphosis and so it caused them to naturally I get it now back then I did not get it but it caused them to pull back it kind of being shock.

[00:21:04] And all I could do is honor my path, my pace and my process.

[00:21:09] Yeah, wow.

[00:21:17] I had an adult entertainer on the show a while back Candace Roberts and she's really wildly like you wildly well spoken so put together so beautiful and vulnerable.

[00:21:31] And she is married with two kids and I asked her this question and I want to ask you to because I'm the mom now and I'm like people have been like, are you ever going to let them read your books and I'm like, well you can't like not let them do things when they get to a certain age.

[00:21:46] It's just about how you're going to introduce that part of yourself to them. So I'm curious this like huge 180 you've taken in your life finding yourself which I think is so empowering and so wonderful.

[00:22:00] Have you thought about how you're going to explain everything to your kids at one point.

[00:22:07] Yeah, I mean one perk of having this all kind of happened when my kids were still my little is they've kind of gone on the journey with me.

[00:22:14] It's different I think if my kids like I'm have a client right now who has older teens and it's harder for her because they've already established beliefs and values and perspectives my kids were still moldable.

[00:22:23] But they remember being in church and like it was really hard my pulled them out of church you know that's our entire community and all of their friends and like we had many conversations about why I decided to do that.

[00:22:33] So I've kind of done that every step of the way. So when we moved from the Midwest to California that was so hard for them because again, I pulled them away from their grandparents or aunts and uncles all of their friends for a chance at a better life.

[00:22:44] And then they saw me start modeling and I have you know tons of lingerie I do photos shoots here so they'll see like my camera man come in as you're heading out to front like I wait to throw all out at the house right with the like,

[00:22:56] Hi, you know I've had several documentaries made they've had crew teams come in here and interview my kids so like they've been on the journey with me and they've had their own phases.

[00:23:05] They've had phases where they have been totally disgusted by it like so gross mom I can't believe you do and there's like some embarrassment there.

[00:23:12] And now they're old enough for me so not that old they're 8 11 and 14 they've seen when we were so we're here on food stamps for almost a decade right and we just bought a multi million dollar home.

[00:23:23] And then we just moved into two weeks ago like they've seen the drastic quality of life change and they know a lot of this has been the result of my work.

[00:23:33] And so now they're at this point where a social and older sector is actually level for space like whoa.

[00:23:39] I remember being for I remember reselling and this is our life now and like and I have so much free time I'm so involved in their lives that I think they've worked through some of their own issues but we're very open when they have issues or problems or

[00:23:53] questions they ask me and I just answer to very age appropriate way for their particular maturity level for sure.

[00:24:01] Okay, I'm going to ask a question that I know everyone at home who is divorced and like have children are wondering what is it like having your ex.

[00:24:13] I'm sure he's not like yeah sure interview them for the documentary about like whatever you're doing. I don't care and involve them in everything.

[00:24:17] How do you handle that it's gotten easier over the years we've been divorced now for four years.

[00:24:25] Yeah, so I can't do any filming without his consent. So I have to be very intentional about how I talked to him how I treat him how I engage with him and he's pretty good about no to he knows we have our issues but we really want to be on a good terms for our kids and so I'd say majority of the time are pretty good co-parents.

[00:24:44] We still have we joke that we have one big fight a year or the kind of builds up for you and I've exposed to fighting and go to therapy which I also to give him credit for we still go to a couple of therapy like co-parenting therapy.

[00:24:55] During our once a year blow up and I love that we're willing to work through things but it's not easy if I didn't have him to work with I would do a lot more a lot more things.

[00:25:04] But I know I have to get his approval or permission on sort of things so I don't walk that road a little more carefully and intentionally with him.

[00:25:10] Yeah, well that's a lot coming for I mean I'm in you know like I'm a step parent so I know different co-parenting dynamics I get fucking more stories from some of my listeners like I can't imagine having those types of conversations with an ex and like meeting the permission and such.

[00:25:28] Okay, I don't know why if you like I can ask you ballsy questions but like never get to something where your like bitch come down like just please let me know.

[00:25:36] I've always been fascinated about how people have monetized only fans and like created these like incredible fucking financial freedom life for themselves.

[00:25:48] Can you talk to me a little bit about what type of money is being made on only fans and like the different tiers that you need to be into and exploring in order to hit those different tiers does that make sense.

[00:26:04] Yeah, totally so yeah only fans took the way I like to tell people is only fans is like any other social media platform.

[00:26:10] It's yours to do whatever you want with you can make it PG you can make it x-rated like if there's a association that's all x-rated but it's actually not.

[00:26:18] You can use it for it every one and just like any other business typically when you start out you only monetize one or two things and then as you get better and more comfortable more confident you start monetizing more more.

[00:26:27] When I started my only fans five years ago I only monetize it she was my subscription you had to subscribe pay to subscribe and that was it and I would just post a photo every day like.

[00:26:38] Just me practicing taking a space I know other tactic now I probably have I know 20 30 40 different tiers of income coming in through only fans.

[00:26:46] I've so many more than I could keep track of because I've had five years to grow into like learning what else I can monetize getting better and better added so I make multiple six figures a year on there.

[00:26:57] And you know it's people who make multiple seven figures a year and for me a key for success is media exposure like when I'm on TV or doing different interviews like that's my way.

[00:27:07] And everyone has it because me that's the that is the most effective way to make money on got that form is getting as many subscribers as you can and everyone has their own tactic mind media.

[00:27:17] Other people try to create funnier viral reals right other people do constant collaboration so they're like borrowing from each other's follow means if you have to find.

[00:27:25] Your pathway and your passion and then once they join your world you have to know how to monetize for me I monetize you through.

[00:27:34] I have a VIP tier you pay an extra $100 every single month on top of my monthly subscription and you get all these perks I offer one of the one video calls I sell photos I sell videos.

[00:27:45] I make tips on all of my life streams and do life streams multiple times a month I sell my underwear.

[00:27:51] I don't know there's so many things but things I've learned how to create more and more along the way so to me that wealth potentials infinite.

[00:28:00] But it requires massive mindset around yeah I have a friend that is an assistant to an adult film star and who's like really really big only fans and she would use to tell me stories about like yeah.

[00:28:14] I went to work today and like packaged 50 pairs of underwear and then I got on to only fans and I was like pretty much sexting with people pretending to be this person as her assistant.

[00:28:28] And I was just like what a fucking life but like doing all of it from your home to the point where you then have to like hire assistance to like keep up with all the stuff like it's.

[00:28:38] It's putting the empowerment back into the individual's hands and if you're feeling liberated and like power doing it then like fucking go for it.

[00:28:50] I love it for that reason there's no middle man outside of like only fans right and they take their cut but outside that's like I decide my hours I decide my rates I decided I'm comfortable with doing not doing I've so much flexibility and.

[00:29:04] Because of my brand I'm a very authentic you know in person I tracked very authentic genuine subscribers so when something has changed last minute I find out a kiddo has a presentation school I didn't know about and have a life stream and some of my guys I'm so sorry I have to cancel I need to go to my kids show they're like don't you dare do a life stream you have to go to your kids show like they're so supportive of.

[00:29:23] The fullness of me not just the slutty version of me and that's what makes it so sustainable is like I get to be slutty I get to be silly I get to be a mom I get to be a dumb like I get to express them all these different sides of me and they love it and so it is genuinely one of my favorite places to hang out at.

[00:29:40] Yeah, what do you think is the biggest thing you've learned about yourself and about the world from this journey.

[00:29:50] Okay, I'm going to skip like a silly but she knew an answer for this one.

[00:29:56] I'm going to say literally one of the number one things only fancy for me is it helps me fall in love with my own pussy.

[00:30:04] I had a lot of body fame a lot of sex fame even though I've always been slim and beautiful and people just assume if you're beautiful you have zero issues within security or whatever.

[00:30:14] But because of my upbringing I had so much shame around my body and my pleasure and around my genitals and I was taught it was bad to look at them it's bad to touch it them like touch them.

[00:30:23] I didn't even know how it worked I didn't understand why my pussy was what sometimes the month I didn't know what my period was for I was so ignorant so I had a lot of shame around it.

[00:30:32] And when I started my only fans I didn't show my pussy for a while and there again I'd shame it always censored I'd always cover it.

[00:30:40] And then I found this random reddit thread oh because someone asked me for a decorating I didn't even know what that was.

[00:30:47] So what is the decorating it pulls up as a reddit thread of decorates all these men posting every kind of dick that exists every.

[00:30:59] And it's the best because every single comment under it was praise and adoration small big hairy hair I was shot I'm like wait people like all types of generals and then I saw comment that led to the vulva.

[00:31:13] And I went to the vulva rating and every type of all that's imaginable is posted there and every single comment from the men was worship and adoration.

[00:31:25] And I was like because I thought it was a lie that men like it I'm like there's no way anyone could like this it's weird it's what like I was so ashamed of it until I saw these reddit threads.

[00:31:35] And so slowly what only fans did for me with these very amazing subscribers is they became a safe space for me to try to open up like metaphorically and literally.

[00:31:44] And I it was such a reclamation of my power.

[00:31:47] A reclamation of my body and a reclamation of my pleasure that I don't know what happened.

[00:31:52] How did not had an only events.

[00:31:54] Wow.

[00:31:55] I love that answer I think that's great.

[00:31:56] Wow. Okay, and this journey that you've been on from the church to where you're at now what have you learned most about the world in your experience.

[00:32:10] I know it's like just a light question and on next time.

[00:32:13] I think it was on that.

[00:32:15] So I like to joke everyone's a slut.

[00:32:18] Just some of us keep it really hidden and some of us come out with it.

[00:32:21] And so just like I kind of joke that everyone's a little bit gay.

[00:32:24] Like I just think we are way more gray and nuanced and multifaceted than we like to believe it.

[00:32:30] I think we're like you think we're very black and white and like I'm good in your pattern.

[00:32:33] And what people like me do and people like you, those of us who live in the gray.

[00:32:38] We cause cognitive dissonance and people and people to like re evaluate like wait.

[00:32:43] I thought sluts look like this and then I'm in the neighborhood like.

[00:32:47] Hi, how's it? How's it work day?

[00:32:48] This cheerful, quirky, friendly mom of five now and it's like like wait.

[00:32:54] And Jesus like they get confused.

[00:32:56] Like dress very slutty like I have this very like slutty dress on right?

[00:33:00] And I'm very friendly and it's confusing for people because we live as a black and white mentality.

[00:33:07] And I think we have this natural default to kind of go and black and white by Mary thinking,

[00:33:12] But I think at the core we're very gray and very fluid and people like me who live in the gray.

[00:33:17] Who are very fluid.

[00:33:19] Actually liberate people to become more of their true selves for somebody triggering them and for some is by inspiring them,

[00:33:26] But either way it feels like it's one of the greatest gifts that he gives the world.

[00:33:30] That's fucking rad and the fact that you just like I've only seen this little box of you this whole time and you are like so cute.

[00:33:39] So like you and then you're like scroll back in your like,

[00:33:42] Tits short red dress. Hey, here I have like I fucking love it. It's so great.

[00:33:47] This has been wildly entertaining and fascinating for me personally.

[00:33:51] I don't really give a shit however video listening feels but I know my effemellers are loving it too.

[00:33:56] I can't say that I have a ton of people that will probably be subscribing to Oldly fans but like I don't fucking know what people do in their spare time.

[00:34:03] You never know what you'd be bad at home or meeting and wanting.

[00:34:07] So if you want to drop that feel free but also for your life coaching business because I mean it's very apparent how well spoken you are and what kind of journey you've been on.

[00:34:18] So I can only imagine like what you have to offer other people so can you just tell everyone like give the whole shield of where they can find you where all the things are.

[00:34:28] Absolutely, you can find all my links at my website Nicole Mitchell dot com Nicole is with the K and I K O L E and I actually had a lot of deems for you.

[00:34:37] I'm a woman saying is okay if I subscribe to your only fans.

[00:34:40] I love it so that's it and I'm always like please like this space is for you if not you know more than for the men and so I have a lot of women who subscribe.

[00:34:49] I actually have my my king is couples I have couples who subscribe obviously a ton of men who subscribe.

[00:34:53] I've clear people who subscribe so like if you're even interested.

[00:34:56] I have a lot of women who come just to see what it's like it's less of all the eroticism and more like what is it like for woman to be this sexually free in front of a big audience.

[00:35:05] And so it's really healing for a lot of women so if that if anyone's listening you're kind of curious it's totally safe to subscribe you can actually keep yourself anonymous you get a random user handle like user one two five seven eight like no one of you are you don't have to have a picture.

[00:35:19] It's very safe to just like I always encourage you and just try it just comment and explore and I always want women to see when I'm super study watch how all the men respond.

[00:35:29] I am deeply respected very respected I'm treated so well by my mail subscribers.

[00:35:36] I think that was one of the biggest healing components for women who subscribe because we're so used to men.

[00:35:43] Cat calling and whistling and making it so gross and creepy none of my fans would ever ever do that.

[00:35:49] And so it really shows that men have the capacity to really worship and rubbish very slutty woman and deeply respect her we don't have to choose one or the other.

[00:36:01] So I will say that I highly encourage them to join that my lieutenant coaching program so you can check that on my website not all of them are listed there like currently I'm teaching a sacred slot program.

[00:36:10] And it is so profound and so powerful and so healing so if you're looking for support in any way support all walks of life and I help with everything reach out to me.

[00:36:20] Can you know like what I have available that might be good for you but come say hi wherever you find me I'm on all the platforms.

[00:36:26] I love it and I also love that you use that word without I feel like it's over the years gotten such a negative connotation that it's meant as like derogatory when you hear it and you've used it in such a freeing way.

[00:36:41] I just this has been wildly entertaining for me so thank you for being here and sharing your truth and like living your best life and I can go and get in your bad girl ever spent.

[00:36:55] Thank you and thank you for I mean for living your truth I found you because of your truth and I like watched your reals and I like read your story and I just I love when I find a woman who has found.

[00:37:05] Usually her deepest healing through her darkest times right and you've come on the other side and you've created so much beauty and love and you've created community in this platform to like.

[00:37:15] Highlight your story and how the stories of others and I just feel like you are a reason for why women are healing and being liberated so just thank you for doing that and just some so bad we've met and got to have this conversation.

[00:37:27] Thank you I so appreciate that yeah for sure.

[00:37:34] Did I lie did I lie when I told you this episode was fucking wild.

[00:37:40] I hope you guys enjoyed this for entertainment purposes as much as I did but I also loved what Nicole said that a lot of her subscribers are women that are coming to just find their comfort levels and find themselves in their sexual liberation.

[00:37:56] I think that's really fucking awesome and really powerful and I hope everybody got a little something different out of this episode today.

[00:38:07] Love you guys see you next week.

[00:38:14] All right FMellers if you don't want to miss an episode make sure to follow on your favorite podcast app and if you're loving the show drop us a five star rating and leave a review.

[00:38:24] You can keep up with me on Instagram at Gabrielle Stone or the podcast page at FML Talk podcast for all the merch and books signed personally by me.

[00:38:34] You can shop the FML line on eat prayfml.com and as always have a fucking self love cocktail on me cheers.

[00:38:51] This podcast has been brought to you by podcast nation.