Overcoming Fear and Embracing Self F%cking Love with Karen Maloney

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[00:01:05] What is up, all of my beautiful freaking people? Welcome back to another episode of FML Talk. Today has a little bit of everything. We've got some healing. We've got a massive FML story. It's a shit storm that turned in to Everything Happens for a Reason per usual on this show. So sit back, grab a cocktail, and welcome to FML Talk.

[00:01:28] Oh my God. Wait, how old was the other girl? 19. Do you believe us?

[00:01:31] Hey, this is Gabrielle Stone.

[00:01:32] The book?

[00:01:33] I've got a checker checker checker.

[00:01:34] Oh!

[00:01:35] He did what?

[00:01:36] 48 hours?

[00:01:37] What a dick.

[00:01:38] Yeah, but have you seen all the bonuses on our Instagram?

[00:01:40] No, no.

[00:01:40] And this is FML Talk.

[00:01:43] Oh no, she didn't.

[00:01:44] You guys, this story is freaking wild, and it is what everybody fears of happening in their life.

[00:01:53] Imagine that you are in a happy, loving relationship for multiple years, and then one day you get an email

[00:02:00] that you are now broken up, and that's that, and you just can't get a hold of that person anymore.

[00:02:10] That is what happened to Karen Maloney, and she turned her shit storm into an incredible healing journey,

[00:02:18] awakening, and she now helps so many amazing people around the world.

[00:02:22] So, let's get into it.

[00:02:28] Karen Maloney, welcome to FML Talk.

[00:02:30] I'm so grateful that you are here today.

[00:02:33] How are you?

[00:02:34] I am amazing, and busy, busy, busy.

[00:02:38] I'm in the middle of a move, so literally to the last second before this call,

[00:02:43] I'm like rubbing hand cream on my hands because they feel raw from all the packing and cleaning,

[00:02:48] but I'm delighted to be here on FML.

[00:02:51] I love it.

[00:02:52] It's finding the balance in all the chaos.

[00:02:55] I am currently in that phase as well, so we will go through it.

[00:02:59] It feels like a moment of centering, of grounding.

[00:03:03] I can just be present.

[00:03:05] Yes, yes.

[00:03:05] And that's so important for today.

[00:03:07] I feel like that's why everybody who tunes in listens to this show is because it's their moment to just tune out and be present,

[00:03:13] whether they're on the treadmill or in the car or doing whatever they're doing.

[00:03:17] So, I love that.

[00:03:17] Yeah.

[00:03:18] We're going to get into all the amazing work that you do,

[00:03:21] but I would love if you would be so kind to take us through your personal journey of what you went through

[00:03:28] to then come to the amazing work that you now do.

[00:03:33] Yeah.

[00:03:34] So, I suppose I've always been kind of the black sheep and quietly curious and into kind of esoteric things,

[00:03:43] and I read all the books and was a total bookworm, still am.

[00:03:47] But that didn't mean I had any kind of practice or that I was conscious and awake and present in my life.

[00:03:55] I can look back and see that I absolutely was not.

[00:03:59] I thought I was because of whatever day and whatever was happening.

[00:04:03] And now I can see that, no, I lived in my mind.

[00:04:08] I was completely and utterly disconnected from my body.

[00:04:12] And I was just hyper independent, vigilant, and crazy overthinker.

[00:04:21] I'm a Virgo, so I have that part of me anyway, but a million times more than the average.

[00:04:28] And, you know, I didn't know any different.

[00:04:31] And it just felt normal to me to kind of feel this way and be constantly overthinking.

[00:04:36] And really, when it came to relationships and that, again, I can look back and see how I was not connected to myself.

[00:04:45] I didn't love myself.

[00:04:46] I didn't believe in myself.

[00:04:48] I really felt not good enough.

[00:04:50] And that's a belief I've carried throughout my life and still crops up.

[00:04:53] You know, we have lots of deep inner beliefs, but I'm aware of it now.

[00:04:58] And I went through a childhood trauma.

[00:05:00] And I think I just kind of really, again, not knowing at the time.

[00:05:06] One, kind of didn't trust me.

[00:05:08] But two, I felt so not good enough that I thought my way of seeking kind of a validation.

[00:05:15] And that was a project to fix someone, to help someone.

[00:05:20] Hi, that's ding, ding, ding, right over here.

[00:05:24] Yeah, not realizing that clearly was my own project.

[00:05:27] But clueless back then.

[00:05:29] So I really didn't attract the best relationships.

[00:05:33] And I mean, not all of them, you know, but I felt I could never be myself.

[00:05:37] I was extremely shy and timid and quiet.

[00:05:42] And yeah, just always trying to kind of help and be that fixer.

[00:05:50] And one of the, well, my big kind of moment was in a relationship when kind of everything fell apart.

[00:05:58] And it really was kind of narcissistic.

[00:06:02] You know, I went the whole hog and didn't see it.

[00:06:06] And yeah, there was a lot going on.

[00:06:08] But anyway, basically it came to a point and he had sent me an email.

[00:06:15] We were living abroad at the time.

[00:06:17] And I was back home in Ireland visiting.

[00:06:21] And he'd sent an email.

[00:06:22] He wasn't from Ireland.

[00:06:23] And he'd sent an email saying, you know, he was breaking up with me.

[00:06:27] He had gone back to his home country.

[00:06:30] He'd have all my stuff shipped from Switzerland where we were living.

[00:06:35] And basically kind of disappeared.

[00:06:38] And even then, like the shock absolutely obliterated me.

[00:06:43] But even then, I went straight to victim.

[00:06:46] And I went straight to blame and self-blame and over-analysing, thinking, oh my God, what

[00:06:52] did I do?

[00:06:53] What did I say?

[00:06:54] I shouldn't have said this.

[00:06:55] Did I push too much on this, this, that and the other?

[00:06:57] Even though when I look back, I can see I wasn't happy in the relationship.

[00:07:02] Right.

[00:07:03] You know, like I was walking on eggshells.

[00:07:05] I was afraid to speak up.

[00:07:07] Like, you know, you couldn't have a conversation or suggest things because you might shut it

[00:07:12] down.

[00:07:12] And it was emotional abuse.

[00:07:15] And I was afraid to be vulnerable.

[00:07:17] So I'd be crying in the bathroom.

[00:07:19] But I had such fear that what if this is my only chance?

[00:07:25] Like fear was running my life up to that point, full stop anyway.

[00:07:30] I feel like so many people are going to resonate with the last sentence you just said.

[00:07:34] I felt like, what if this is my only chance?

[00:07:37] Whether it's they're now married with kids or they're older, whatever they define as older,

[00:07:43] or they haven't had good luck with finding relationships in the past.

[00:07:48] Like we get into these relationships and people are like, well, it's good enough.

[00:07:52] Like he's not hitting me.

[00:07:53] Well, he's not doing this.

[00:07:55] Like it's good enough.

[00:07:56] And yeah, good enough is bullshit.

[00:08:00] Yeah.

[00:08:00] And hope.

[00:08:01] I lived in hope like, oh, things would come back to the way they were.

[00:08:05] Right.

[00:08:05] Right.

[00:08:05] It will change and all this.

[00:08:07] Yeah.

[00:08:08] I can fix it.

[00:08:09] No, really.

[00:08:09] I can.

[00:08:10] Yeah.

[00:08:11] Like it's all going to be fine.

[00:08:12] Yeah.

[00:08:13] But again, I can look back and not that it's blame, but if I was the person I am today,

[00:08:20] I mean, I wouldn't have put up with the bullshit.

[00:08:22] Right.

[00:08:23] Period.

[00:08:23] But I wasn't.

[00:08:26] And, you know, had lessons to learn.

[00:08:28] But we do.

[00:08:29] We do put up.

[00:08:30] How long were you together in that relationship?

[00:08:32] Like almost three years.

[00:08:34] Okay.

[00:08:35] So three year relationship and you wake up one day, no signs of any type of like end

[00:08:41] insight to an email that's like, hey, I don't want to be with you and I'm going to ship all

[00:08:45] of your stuff to you.

[00:08:47] Yep.

[00:08:48] That's fucking wild.

[00:08:49] Like the audacity that people have.

[00:08:52] Yeah.

[00:08:53] And he like completely turned off his phone and didn't reply to my email.

[00:08:57] So like I was just left with this complete shock, this complete out of the blue.

[00:09:03] I'll never forget reading this.

[00:09:04] Like I literally the physical pain in my body was just like I felt like I was obliterated.

[00:09:11] And yeah, like no way of even contacting me.

[00:09:13] No, no way to have a conversation.

[00:09:15] Wait.

[00:09:16] So you have not talked to him since then?

[00:09:17] No.

[00:09:18] Oh, my God.

[00:09:21] Okay.

[00:09:22] I.

[00:09:22] Okay.

[00:09:25] Yeah.

[00:09:25] There's so many.

[00:09:27] Like there's so many levels.

[00:09:29] The biggest question I have is what did you do to get closure from that relationship?

[00:09:34] Because I would have been like, I'm going to fly to wherever, whatever country I think

[00:09:41] you're in and figure out where you are and strap you down to have a goddamn conversation

[00:09:46] with you about why this fucking relationship is over.

[00:09:48] But I also know from my own relationships and my own healing journey that closure does not

[00:09:55] fall on the responsibility of the other person.

[00:09:57] But I'm interested in your situation.

[00:10:00] How did you find closure and like handle the fallout of realizing that you weren't able

[00:10:07] to get in touch with him?

[00:10:08] Yeah.

[00:10:09] I mean, it was tough because, you know, I didn't realize I'd never hear from him at that

[00:10:15] stage.

[00:10:16] You know, I did think clearly at some stage I would hear something.

[00:10:20] So as kind of months and months would go on and there was nothing.

[00:10:23] I was like, okay, this is this is not unreal.

[00:10:29] And I mean, it was months and months as well later when I realized none of my stuff was

[00:10:34] arriving back either.

[00:10:36] So I lost everything.

[00:10:37] But again, I didn't know all of this at the start.

[00:10:40] Right, right.

[00:10:41] It was step by step.

[00:10:44] But yeah, I lost all of my possessions as well that I had moved over there with.

[00:10:49] So the closure wasn't instant.

[00:10:53] It certainly took some time because like that, like I said, I wasn't aware that there wouldn't

[00:10:59] be a conversation or that I wouldn't ever hear from him again.

[00:11:04] But something really interesting happened.

[00:11:08] Like really quick.

[00:11:10] I can't remember timelines, but I would say within three days of me receiving that email.

[00:11:15] And I remember one day being in bed again, because I mean, I was just stuck to the bed

[00:11:20] going through a million and one scenarios and questions and trying to figure out what went

[00:11:24] wrong, where, like what happened?

[00:11:26] Where did this come from all of a sudden?

[00:11:29] And I mean, crying, you know, like a toddler hysterics.

[00:11:32] You can't breathe.

[00:11:33] You're crying so much.

[00:11:34] Those kind of.

[00:11:35] Yeah, been there.

[00:11:36] Convential tears.

[00:11:38] Yeah.

[00:11:38] So I was in that process, which, you know, was normal through something so traumatic.

[00:11:43] And I remember one day I was in bed and again, one of those hysterics like crying and all of

[00:11:50] a sudden this immense.

[00:11:53] Just serenity.

[00:11:55] Peace.

[00:11:55] This came over me out of nowhere.

[00:11:58] And again, it was already quick, but I do remember thinking like, well, I was just bawling

[00:12:04] my eyes at.

[00:12:04] And I heard a voice and it said to me, OK, two options here.

[00:12:08] You stay exactly as you are.

[00:12:10] You're miserable, not talking to anyone, not eating, crying the whole time, not looking

[00:12:14] after yourself, driving yourself insane, trying to figure out what went wrong.

[00:12:19] A million and one different questions and things.

[00:12:21] Or.

[00:12:23] You accept this and you pick yourself up.

[00:12:27] And it was like in that moment, there was such clarity.

[00:12:31] And I was like.

[00:12:33] Oh, yeah, this has happened.

[00:12:36] I can't unhappen it.

[00:12:38] And why should I destroy myself and my life just because of the actions of another person?

[00:12:45] I'm like, OK, this is my piece, because clearly it's not about denial.

[00:12:50] And actually, it was the first time that I ever truly started going into my feelings and

[00:12:55] allowing myself to feel my feelings.

[00:12:57] So that spiritual awakening or whatever it was, not that it was easy from that moment

[00:13:03] forward.

[00:13:04] It wasn't.

[00:13:05] But it gave me such insight and clarity.

[00:13:09] And it also made it really difficult because everyone thought I was in denial because I

[00:13:15] did get up and start to get on with my life.

[00:13:17] And I was like, yeah, this has happened.

[00:13:20] So I need to deal with the pain and the emotional stuff.

[00:13:24] And I started walking in my talk.

[00:13:27] I really started doing the deep inner work.

[00:13:29] And I was like, all these books I've read, all these things I know, none of it that I'm

[00:13:34] using.

[00:13:35] I was like, now it's time to start walking in my talk.

[00:13:38] Mm-hmm.

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[00:14:43] We're all out of the ordinary.

[00:14:50] And I feel like it's remembering that no matter the situation, there is always a choice.

[00:14:55] Even, and I know people are like, that's not true, Gabrielle.

[00:14:58] There's not always a choice.

[00:14:59] But no, yes, there's always a choice.

[00:15:00] Even if the choice is your perspective and how you're going to choose to look at or handle

[00:15:06] the situation, you always have a choice.

[00:15:08] And I run into this all the time.

[00:15:11] And my mother reminds me of this.

[00:15:13] And I roll my eyes and I'm like, okay, but the choices suck ass.

[00:15:16] But there is always a choice.

[00:15:18] So remembering that and that you are in complete control on how you choose to create and react

[00:15:24] to the situations that are happening to you.

[00:15:27] And there is power in that.

[00:15:29] Absolutely.

[00:15:30] That's our whole power.

[00:15:31] I mean, that's it in a nutshell.

[00:15:33] That is our power always.

[00:15:35] And that is something that can never be taken from us.

[00:15:38] But again, I didn't know.

[00:15:40] We don't know.

[00:15:42] So from having that realization as well and taking it step by step, because it literally

[00:15:48] was step by step, moment by moment some days, like because of immense fear and panic

[00:15:55] that would just overwhelm my body at times.

[00:15:59] Yeah.

[00:16:00] I mean, it was immense.

[00:16:01] So it was moment by moment.

[00:16:02] But the more I started, yeah, just kind of taking back my power, realizing that, you know,

[00:16:11] I had a choice.

[00:16:12] And, you know, I always not always, but I've had a very strong kind of faith anyway, not

[00:16:19] religious.

[00:16:19] So I was like, okay, there has to be a reason.

[00:16:22] You know, what can I gain from this?

[00:16:24] So if this has happened and I can't unhappen it, what are the lessons?

[00:16:29] How can I grow?

[00:16:30] What can I learn?

[00:16:31] What do I need to change about myself?

[00:16:34] Because, you know, again, I'm like nobody's 100% to blame because I was there.

[00:16:40] You know, it was my life.

[00:16:41] I'm the common denominator in my life.

[00:16:44] Right.

[00:16:45] Oh God.

[00:16:45] You're like saying exactly what we talk about on this show all the time.

[00:16:48] Like even if a fucked up situation happens to you, you have something within you that

[00:16:53] attracted that, whether it was to learn a lesson or to have the experience, like whatever

[00:16:57] it was.

[00:16:57] And until you take responsibility of that, you're just going to keep attracting bullshit

[00:17:02] to relearn that lesson.

[00:17:04] So what was it that you, when you looked in and you were like, okay, there has to be a

[00:17:10] reason this all happened.

[00:17:11] Like, what is the reason?

[00:17:12] What, what did you end up coming to?

[00:17:14] Well, I think ultimately it's self-love, self-belief, you know, actually really liking myself and

[00:17:23] being kind to myself because, oh my God, I used to tear shreds off myself.

[00:17:29] I was so cruel, so mean because I thought that's how I'd improve.

[00:17:33] I thought if I could like berate myself enough internally, my inner dialogue, I'd improve.

[00:17:40] I get all my dreams.

[00:17:41] I'd be this amazing person.

[00:17:43] And no, anytime we're against ourselves, it never works.

[00:17:47] Right.

[00:17:47] So I think that's, I mean, there's so many lessons along the way, but I think that's

[00:17:51] the ultimate.

[00:17:53] Absolutely.

[00:17:54] And also a gratitude for life.

[00:17:57] Mm.

[00:17:58] You know, I'm like, oh my God, I'm actually so grateful that happened.

[00:18:01] Not that the circumstances are not giving credit to him or whatever, but again, this, this message

[00:18:07] of it's happened.

[00:18:08] I can't unhappen it.

[00:18:09] So, but I can do everything and anything I want with it.

[00:18:13] Yeah.

[00:18:13] And what I've chosen to do with it.

[00:18:15] Oh my God, it's paid dividends again and again and again and again.

[00:18:18] I wouldn't be the person I am today without that experience or without me having taken

[00:18:24] full responsibility and did the deep inner work, self-belief, self-belief, self-belief,

[00:18:31] work, self-love.

[00:18:32] I feel the exact same way about all the stuff that I've been through.

[00:18:35] So I love that was so perfectly put.

[00:18:37] So you are a breath work mindset, energy healing coach.

[00:18:41] Give me like the synopsis of what type of work it is that you do now that after this experience

[00:18:47] kind of like brought you to your inner healing journey.

[00:18:51] Yeah.

[00:18:52] So really all my work is about that kind of self-love, self-belief, self-empowerment.

[00:18:57] It's teaching people that no matter what, you're not helpless, that there's so many choices.

[00:19:03] There's so much you can do.

[00:19:04] And actually that you are at the helm of your life and you can feel empowered and you can

[00:19:10] absolutely rise and create the life that you desire.

[00:19:14] But it does take that leaning into the discomfort.

[00:19:17] It does take that radical responsibility at times.

[00:19:21] It does take, you know, us getting out of our own way and facing ourselves and facing our

[00:19:26] fears and feeling our suppressed pains and trapped emotions and traumas and whatever it is.

[00:19:31] We all have them. We all have a subconscious mind that is running us 24-7, 95% of our lives.

[00:19:38] And there's a lot there that doesn't serve us, that holds us back.

[00:19:41] So through all the different modalities that I use, it's really the intention to help people

[00:19:47] to help themselves, to wake up, to find a beauty in life again, to find that joy and that spark

[00:19:52] and that love and appreciation.

[00:19:53] And really, it is a gift we've been given with all of us.

[00:19:58] But we don't have to be on such a roller coaster.

[00:20:03] Oh, I love that so much.

[00:20:05] Sometimes I call it, I'm like, it's like mental and emotional work, but it's deep, deep inner

[00:20:11] subconscious work, subconscious beliefs.

[00:20:14] And can you walk me through a little, like briefly, because I'm sure it's deep and involved,

[00:20:19] how the breathwork plays into that?

[00:20:21] Yeah. So obviously, breathwork is a general term for all types of breathing.

[00:20:29] But what I trained in as well is somatic or transformational breathwork.

[00:20:36] So they're deep dive journeys.

[00:20:40] So it's not like your praniamic, like the end of yoga or extending your exhale to calm your

[00:20:45] nervous system.

[00:20:46] So we're consciously kind of activating our nervous system so we can go deep into the subconscious.

[00:20:53] We're changing our brainwaves from like beta and alpha, which is kind of meditative.

[00:21:00] Beta is now when we're talking.

[00:21:02] We're going into theta, which is hypnosis.

[00:21:05] So our thinking mind is offline.

[00:21:07] That monkey mind goes when we breathe in this way.

[00:21:10] It's known as a conscious connected breathing pattern.

[00:21:13] And when we do that for an extended period of time, our thinking mind goes offline.

[00:21:20] So we're in the subconscious and lots of feelings.

[00:21:24] It's literally healing through feeling.

[00:21:26] Lots of feelings can come up.

[00:21:28] But our breath is such a powerful super tool.

[00:21:30] Our body is the most incredible piece of technology that we own.

[00:21:35] It knows what to do.

[00:21:37] But again, it needs our support.

[00:21:39] So it's creating a space.

[00:21:41] It's a curated journey.

[00:21:42] It's about an hour and a half, two hours altogether.

[00:21:44] It can be done online.

[00:21:46] There's music.

[00:21:47] There's guidance.

[00:21:48] You know, there's a team.

[00:21:49] We're building up to a screen in the journey as well, which again is a huge somatic release

[00:21:58] for the body.

[00:21:59] Yeah.

[00:21:59] Yeah.

[00:22:00] And, you know, then there's relaxation and rewiring because we're in that hypnotic state.

[00:22:06] So a lot of reprogramming can happen.

[00:22:09] And again, people, I mean, there's so many physical benefits for the body, like detoxing,

[00:22:13] boosting the immune system.

[00:22:15] But mentally as well, like people who have struggled with meditation their whole life after

[00:22:20] one of these journeys have said to me like, oh, my God, this is the quietest my mind has

[00:22:25] ever been.

[00:22:26] Oh, I mean, you sold me just with that statement right there that I need to do that.

[00:22:30] Yeah.

[00:22:31] Emotion.

[00:22:32] Yeah.

[00:22:32] There's emotional aspects.

[00:22:34] We're obviously releasing any trapped emotions because again, everything is energy.

[00:22:38] Yeah.

[00:22:39] Body remembers everything on a cellular level and not just more lifetimes.

[00:22:43] Science has proven up to seven generations past.

[00:22:45] Yeah.

[00:22:46] So we're not even aware of what we hold.

[00:22:49] But if we give our body the space and use our breath as the tool, I call it like our personal

[00:22:55] remote control in a control way like this, this type of breathing or journey just to say

[00:23:01] is not suitable for every day.

[00:23:02] You know, like once a week, twice a month, something like that.

[00:23:06] Amazing.

[00:23:07] Yeah.

[00:23:07] But as a daily practice, no.

[00:23:09] Yeah.

[00:23:09] I mean, you could do five or 10 minutes just as a boost, but the deep, deeper inner work.

[00:23:14] No.

[00:23:15] So a huge emotional release.

[00:23:17] And there's a spiritual aspect to it as well.

[00:23:20] People have had transcendental moments like out of body experiences.

[00:23:24] And again, that's where you can have huge, massive perspective shifts or hearings, lessons,

[00:23:33] insights on life events as well, all in the space of, you know, a couple of hours.

[00:23:40] Not to say that that's exactly what's going to happen on your first go.

[00:23:44] Like everything, it's a practice.

[00:23:45] And I find with the breath work, you know, it really shows me the whole time.

[00:23:53] The, I don't know if you've ever done like plant medicines or any retreats like that, but

[00:23:57] the shamans and all that, they always say like, you are the medicine.

[00:24:00] Right.

[00:24:01] It's not the medicine.

[00:24:02] And again, it's up to us.

[00:24:04] We can block the process or we can allow it.

[00:24:06] And I think with the breath work, it's really like, it is that responsibility.

[00:24:11] It's like, oh, this is on me.

[00:24:13] There's no one here to help me.

[00:24:14] I can not do it properly and I'll just feel nice and relaxed and fine.

[00:24:20] Or if I really want to surrender and do this, I have to put in a bit of effort.

[00:24:27] Yeah.

[00:24:27] It does feel a bit uncomfortable initially because your mind is going busy.

[00:24:31] It's trying to tell you to stop it.

[00:24:33] Again, it's just normal kind of wiring of our brain to keep us in what's familiar.

[00:24:38] So we do have to move through a level of discomfort.

[00:24:43] Yeah.

[00:24:43] To get all the incredible benefits.

[00:24:46] So yeah, I've had so many experiences where I'm like, yeah, you know, if I want this, I

[00:24:52] need to go all in or I can just chill.

[00:25:04] Oh, I'm so intrigued and so interested in doing one of those sessions.

[00:25:08] Can you tell everybody where they can find you and all of the online work you do if they

[00:25:15] are interested in the breath work?

[00:25:16] Like where can they go to get more information on all of that?

[00:25:19] Absolutely.

[00:25:21] So Karen Maloney.com is my website and in the shop section, I'll always have the upcoming

[00:25:27] date for the breath work sessions.

[00:25:30] I do individual ones.

[00:25:32] I also have an online breath work community that is a membership and all previous journeys

[00:25:38] have been saved in there and all the information on instructional videos and there's some shorter

[00:25:44] daily practices and some Theta Healy meditations and all lots of nice stuff there.

[00:25:51] Amazing.

[00:25:52] And my Instagram is probably where I share as well about these things.

[00:25:56] And again, it's just my name at Karen Maloney with a little underscore in the end.

[00:26:01] Oh, Karen, this has been so wonderful.

[00:26:03] I'm so glad that you had this experience to bring you to all of this amazing healing that

[00:26:08] you're doing for other people.

[00:26:09] Now, I have to ask, have you ever like looked up your ex's social media?

[00:26:16] Like, do you know where he is, what he's doing?

[00:26:17] Like, I kind of need some answers.

[00:26:19] I want to go knock on his door and be like, hey, what the fuck?

[00:26:23] Oh my God.

[00:26:25] No, because he was never really active on social media anyway.

[00:26:29] But let me tell you the craziest story in the world.

[00:26:32] The only piece of information that I know through someone I do not know.

[00:26:39] So maybe it could have been a, this story is wild when I look back.

[00:26:45] It could have been, maybe it was a year later.

[00:26:49] It was definitely a good six months, maybe eight months after that initial email.

[00:26:56] And one day this girl reached out to me.

[00:26:58] I had written an article and shared it online in Ireland, in an Irish publication or whatever.

[00:27:04] But this girl had reached out to me on Instagram.

[00:27:08] She, I don't know, was she following me or she'd start?

[00:27:11] Oh, I came up as a suggestion to follow people to follow.

[00:27:16] So she reached out and she was like, oh, I read your article and it really resonated.

[00:27:21] And blah, blah, blah, blah.

[00:27:23] And, you know, I'm sorry you went through it.

[00:27:25] And I've gone through something similar.

[00:27:27] She's like, I even think we're talking about the same person.

[00:27:30] Shut up.

[00:27:31] And I was like, there's no way.

[00:27:33] I was like, I'm not the only person in the world, you know.

[00:27:36] So I just said to her, I was like, very sorry to hear that, you know, kind of thing.

[00:27:41] And I was like, look, I'm certainly not unique.

[00:27:43] I'm sorry you're going through it.

[00:27:45] I think the chances of being the same person is just like literally impossible.

[00:27:50] Anyway, I was like, what would make you think that?

[00:27:55] Anyway, she'd shared.

[00:27:56] I never specifically asked his name at that time.

[00:27:59] And she never shared, even though he probably lied about his name anyway.

[00:28:03] But we were living in Switzerland.

[00:28:06] And I was like, where did she meet?

[00:28:08] And she was like, Switzerland.

[00:28:09] I was like, OK.

[00:28:11] And anyway, turned out it was the same person.

[00:28:16] Shut up.

[00:28:17] And she had been in the apartment where we were living.

[00:28:20] And she said when she was there, there was never sign of anyone else living there.

[00:28:27] Wow.

[00:28:27] And when we had gone to some weddings, like friends of mine in Spain initially, she was told that, I don't know, he was gone to some work conference or whatever.

[00:28:39] And I was like, oh, my God.

[00:28:43] So, yeah, he was cheating and everything.

[00:28:46] And then maybe another six months after that, again, maybe a bit more.

[00:28:52] I had, you know, on my mailing list that I'd sent an email.

[00:28:56] I don't know what I wrote, an update of something.

[00:28:58] But she just replied and was like, oh, hey.

[00:29:03] And she, I think she was German or something.

[00:29:06] I can't remember.

[00:29:07] But she had replied just going, oh, just saying hello.

[00:29:11] Oh, like, you know, I've been kind of following you since.

[00:29:14] Yeah.

[00:29:14] I'm glad to see you doing so well.

[00:29:16] And she had left and she was feeling better and all these kind of things as well.

[00:29:19] And I was like, just out of curiosity, I was like, did you ever hear anything again from him?

[00:29:25] Because it was something similar.

[00:29:26] He disappeared.

[00:29:27] Right.

[00:29:27] But they did meet up for lunch one day in Switzerland.

[00:29:30] So she had a bit of closure, which, again, I just found my own way with that eventually.

[00:29:36] Yeah.

[00:29:36] And then that was that he had said he was gone home to his home country.

[00:29:39] He was from Jordan and that he was gone back there and he was just back in Switzerland getting the last few bits or whatever.

[00:29:47] Blah, blah, blah.

[00:29:47] But then she said maybe six months after that, she saw him in Zurich still in Switzerland with a woman walking down the street.

[00:29:59] And because she still lived there, she started asking questions and this, that and the other.

[00:30:03] And supposedly through the grapevine, she heard that he went back to Jordan and got married.

[00:30:11] Oh, my God.

[00:30:13] Was back with the wife.

[00:30:16] So.

[00:30:17] Wow.

[00:30:18] I don't know.

[00:30:18] And on that note, you're like rejection is protection.

[00:30:23] Thank you for removing that shit storm out of my life.

[00:30:26] Oh, that's exactly what I was saying.

[00:30:28] I was like, Jesus Christ, I am so grateful that we weren't married.

[00:30:33] We didn't have kids.

[00:30:34] Yes.

[00:30:35] All of us like, oh, my God.

[00:30:37] Thank you, universe.

[00:30:38] Thank you.

[00:30:38] Thank you.

[00:30:39] Wow.

[00:30:39] That is wild, girl.

[00:30:41] Oh, my God.

[00:30:42] That's the only thing I've heard, whether it's true or not.

[00:30:46] I have no idea.

[00:30:46] But that's all I know.

[00:30:48] Unbelievable.

[00:30:49] Unbelievable.

[00:30:49] I'm so glad that you have come out the other end of that in such a beautiful way and had

[00:30:55] this wonderful enlightening.

[00:30:57] And now you're able to coach and heal all of these other people on their journeys.

[00:31:01] It's really inspiring.

[00:31:02] It's really beautiful.

[00:31:03] So thank you for being here to share all of the details and your wonderful, beautiful

[00:31:09] story.

[00:31:09] I can't wait to do one of those breathwork sessions for sure.

[00:31:13] Amazing.

[00:31:14] Thank you so much, Gary.

[00:31:15] It's been fun to replay all the craziness and be like, wow, feels like a different person

[00:31:20] in a different lifetime.

[00:31:22] But yeah, but all also so very worth it.

[00:31:25] Completely.

[00:31:26] Thanks, million.

[00:31:31] I want to thank Karen so much for coming on and sharing her wild story.

[00:31:36] And I, for one, am very excited to dive into some of her breathwork stuff.

[00:31:40] I hope you guys will go check it out if today's episode resonated with you.

[00:31:45] I know so many people have spoken so highly of her work and I am happy that she came on

[00:31:51] to share her insane FML story and gift us with the incredible work that it has brought

[00:31:58] to her life and those that are coaching with her.

[00:32:01] I love you guys.

[00:32:03] I will see you next week.

[00:32:04] Cheers.

[00:32:08] All right, FMLers.

[00:32:10] If you don't want to miss an episode, make sure to follow on your favorite podcast app.

[00:32:15] And if you're loving the show, drop us a five-star rating and leave a review.

[00:32:19] You can keep up with me on Instagram at Gabrielle Stone or the podcast page at FML Talk Podcast.

[00:32:26] For all the merch and books signed personally by me, you can shop the FML line on eatpreyfml.com.

[00:32:34] And as always, have a fucking self-love cocktail on me.

[00:32:38] Cheers.

[00:32:47] This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.