F%cking Thriving with Carlie Craig

[00:00:00] This episode is brought to you by Bumble. So, you want to find someone you're compatible

[00:00:05] with? Specifically someone who's ready for a series connection, totally open to having

[00:00:10] kids in the future, is a tall rock climbing Libra and loves Ron Combs with bacon pizzas

[00:00:16] on Tuesdays just as much as you do. Bumble knows that you know exactly what's right for you.

[00:00:21] So whatever it is you're looking for, Bumble's features can help you find it.

[00:00:26] Right now on Bumble.

[00:00:28] Hello, hello, all of my beautiful freaking people. Welcome back to another episode of FML Talk.

[00:00:36] Y'all are in for a treat today because Carly Craig has making her return so step back

[00:00:44] to Gravacocktail and welcome to FML Talk. Oh my god, how old was the other girl? 19,

[00:00:50] people leave us. Hey, this is Gabrielle Stone.

[00:00:52] Good boy. He did 48 hours. What's that? Yeah, but have you seen all the photos on her Instagram?

[00:01:00] And this is FML Talk. Oh no she didn't.

[00:01:04] Alright y'all, the last time you guys heard from Miss Carly Craig on the main show at

[00:01:10] least she's done a couple episodes of the minis with me was her very dramatic, very intense,

[00:01:16] very teethelled two-part episode a couple seasons back. If you have not heard that pause,

[00:01:23] go down the rabbit hole. It is one of the juiciest episodes we have done on this show.

[00:01:28] We did it in two parts because there was so much to dissect about her finding out her

[00:01:36] ex was living a double life. All of the insane shit that happened how manipulated she was

[00:01:45] and abused she was and really her coming out the other end of it to carry on with her life

[00:01:51] and move forward and become a fucking little superhuman woman which she has done. She is back,

[00:01:58] she is thriving, she is healed. I'm so proud of the woman that she has become, the changes she

[00:02:04] has made in her life. We are going to get into what she's been up to, how she healed, how she

[00:02:09] recovered from such an incredibly abusive, narcissistic relationship and we are going to hit you

[00:02:15] with one of her recent FML stories. It is a fun fucking episode you guys. I hope you enjoy. Here we go.

[00:02:23] Carly Mother fucking Craig welcome back to FML talk. Bitch, it's been a while. I'm so psyched that

[00:02:35] you're here right now. It has been a minute and I think I should officially change my IMDB name to

[00:02:40] Carly Mother fucking Craig. I know and I think it needs to be sung like it's Carly Mother fucking Craig.

[00:02:48] There it is. I love you, I miss you. I love you, I miss you too. You're in New York now,

[00:02:54] you're thriving. I feel like the only way I ever get to talk to you is if we schedule a podcast

[00:02:58] together so I'm like just to be doing this today. We haven't had you on since like I mean pretty much

[00:03:06] for lack of better terms your life fucking exploded in front of your face and we had a really

[00:03:10] dramatic two-part episode and a lot of people still do you have me about it that go back and

[00:03:17] listen to it and discover it or relisten to it because your journey was so relatable in like

[00:03:24] a very fucked up way but the way that you carried yourself through it was like one for the books man.

[00:03:31] Like everyone was very, very proud of you. Thank you. It's really funny. I haven't gone back often

[00:03:38] to watch that episode or look at it but you know if I see a tweet pop up or something I get curious and

[00:03:47] it's funny how much has changed since then and how much life has happened and how distant those

[00:03:53] memories are now that it's really funny to watch myself in that state and in that podcast because

[00:04:02] I hadn't even done my musical yet that put it all out there and that was such a massive step for me

[00:04:10] so I almost look at that podcast episode as a little time capsule of like before she snapped you

[00:04:16] know before she came out and did and did the emotional roller coaster thing so it's special to kind

[00:04:22] of look back on that and kind of see it as that sort of moment in time. Yeah I feel like I just did

[00:04:28] an episode with Morgan Willett and her first episode on FML talk we actually recorded the same day

[00:04:34] you did you guys were both in studio at the same time and she listened to your episode and was like oh my

[00:04:39] god girl and she too like came on very kind of like timid this is the first time I'm telling my

[00:04:46] story like still very much in the trenches of like the healing process and to see both of you start out

[00:04:53] in that first episode on the show now to being like these like fucking healed queens that are just

[00:05:00] like thriving and living life it makes my heart so very happy and you are such a huge part of that I

[00:05:06] mean I don't know how close you and Morgan are but obviously I was living in your guest house when

[00:05:11] I was in the thick of it all so I can't thank you enough because I you know I would have to be here

[00:05:18] without you. No I love you I mean you would you would have found your way but I'm happy that

[00:05:23] Tay and I were able to be a support and a part of it. Let's get into what has been going on since then

[00:05:33] and how have you like taken control back of your life because I know that when anyone goes through

[00:05:38] a narcissistic situation like that where there's manipulation and control you kind of have to

[00:05:44] like rediscover yourself to kind of get your footing back how did you go about doing that kind of

[00:05:51] take me on like that journey of what that looked like for you. A huge part of it was taking that

[00:05:56] year off of alcohol so from October 2021 to October 2022 I chose to take time off alcohol originally

[00:06:08] it was just going to be up until my show in April and then up until my show in July in New York

[00:06:15] and it was like I got to the show in LA and thought okay well I made it this far I might as well

[00:06:20] keep going and then I got to the July show and then I was like well I'm already here I might as

[00:06:25] well go to you know October so that was actually a huge part of figuring out and having the clarity

[00:06:33] to say I'm not happy in LA anymore. You know I tried to get happy and I tried to make it work

[00:06:39] and I had been there for about nine years at that point living there and having that solitude

[00:06:46] and peacefulness within myself or being able to listen to myself and think okay what does Carly

[00:06:53] want. I don't know if I would have had that clarity had I not taken that break and it really was

[00:06:58] prompted because the panic attacks were really bad and I needed to just start from scratch and

[00:07:05] just try to figure out get my body chemistry back at zero and leveled out so that was a big part of

[00:07:12] it. I mean I always continue to go back to that when people ask me about my healing journey I say well

[00:07:18] I don't know that I would be this far along had I not taken that break from booze to get re-centered.

[00:07:25] Do you think that you were using alcohol as like a numbing tool to stop kind of feeling certain feelings?

[00:07:33] Yeah and I don't think that it was conscious or maybe it was a little conscious but

[00:07:41] it was certainly a numbing tool and it was on the heels of COVID so I had developed Carly's

[00:07:47] cocktails and that was my whole thing that I was doing. So when I went to Florida and I'm healing

[00:07:52] in a teaky hut at my parents house it's like you know they weren't necessarily not enabling me either

[00:07:58] by being like okay our bartenders home you know we were having a drink at five and it was just

[00:08:04] this cycle of okay I'm gonna have some whiskey at night and then I wake up and have a coffee and

[00:08:10] then I'm playing tennis and I was even though I was doing healing activities I wasn't really making

[00:08:16] as much progress as I wanted and then when the PTSD started I was like yo I'm using this as a

[00:08:24] band-aid I'm not spending my evenings working on myself or my healing I'm totally numbing the

[00:08:32] pains so yeah I mean it was totally a crutch in that sense. Yeah so once you removed the alcohol

[00:08:41] what kind of like came forward as to like okay these are the things that I need to work on

[00:08:49] to get back to a place of myself. A big one was that I and what I didn't really realize until

[00:08:55] that point was that I didn't know how to be alone I had spent you know even before the relationship

[00:09:02] with the narcissist I was in a relationship with my college boyfriend for five and a half years

[00:09:08] and I think I only maybe had nine months to myself in between the two and so I realized I had

[00:09:16] spent so much of my time busying myself with taking care of my partner and so much

[00:09:22] co-dependence was woven into that that I couldn't sit still like I was I remember getting my first

[00:09:29] place after I moved out of your guesthouse and I was like how do I sit on a couch and watch a

[00:09:37] TV show by myself. I don't even know how to do that so that was a hurdle I didn't know I had

[00:09:42] overcome until I forced myself into that position and yeah I mean that was probably the biggest

[00:09:50] challenge that I had to overcome was learning how to be still and how to honor my own mind and my

[00:09:57] body and my thoughts and be okay. Mm-hmm yeah I think so many times people are like oh I don't know

[00:10:04] how to be alone if they associate that just with being in a relationship and while that's true

[00:10:09] because like hello you're like looking at someone that definitely identified with that it's also

[00:10:14] being with yourself so as being able to be physically by yourself and not have to be scrolling on

[00:10:22] TikTok watching Netflix and like texting three different people at the same time when I was on my

[00:10:26] Europe trip I was at a solo dinner but I was texting four different people and like you know also

[00:10:33] on social media and also writing in my journal so it was like are you really actually being alone or

[00:10:38] you're really actually being with yourself and that's such a big thing once you learn how to do it

[00:10:44] it becomes something you crave in my opinion at least like now I'm like give me a fucking like TV

[00:10:50] show and like myself give me like a morning walk where I can like listen to a podcast or like do a

[00:10:57] gratitude like very much so like let me just veg and be alone and that's so invaluable for people.

[00:11:05] Yeah I definitely am addicted to it to the point where I had a sort of aha moment with my

[00:11:11] therapist the other day where originally when I was back in that relationship and I was in therapy

[00:11:17] with her because she saw me through the entire breakdown of everything. I was with her and talking

[00:11:24] about okay what's your safe space and back then my safe space was being on stage I hadn't been on

[00:11:30] stage in a while and we would do these visualizations and it was all about okay you're on the stage

[00:11:36] and the lights are on you and you're at absolute peace where recently she was asking again

[00:11:42] where my safe space was and I said with myself. I was like wow that is I mean how fucking far have

[00:11:51] I cut it almost makes me emotional because it's like the pendulum has swung the complete opposite

[00:11:56] direction and I knew I would land here eventually but not to this extent where now I'm so hell

[00:12:04] been on. I really don't want a partner right now I really am so centered on what Carly wants

[00:12:11] and I was telling you a bit about this when I came to visit for Thanksgiving but you know I'm

[00:12:17] very much in the space of I used to be so centered around you know wanting to be of mom or wanting

[00:12:24] to be you know all the things that I feel like maybe society was telling me without ever sort of

[00:12:29] discovering my own autonomy and my own wants and desires and now that the relationship part of it

[00:12:37] is out of the equation and I've fallen into the practice of listening to what Carly wants

[00:12:43] I'm in the space of like huh I can really choose whatever the hell I want to do and nobody can

[00:12:50] you know tell me otherwise so it's really a night and day type of shift coming out of the healing

[00:12:56] journey and now I'm about three years out from the great explosion. Yeah I want people to hear that

[00:13:03] because I get so many DMs of like well I'm just ready to heal and like how do I do it and like what's

[00:13:10] the step-by-step process like it took me a solid two and a half years after Europe to like land

[00:13:17] in a place where I felt like calm and like I was through the shit like you you know saying

[00:13:23] that was three years ago granted like you've been doing really well for some time now but like

[00:13:29] it took years like it's not an overnight process and that's what everybody look it sucks it sucks

[00:13:36] for us too it was not a fun couple of years but like everyone wants it to just be a fix it

[00:13:42] and time really is like the biggest ingredient you need while you're going through the shit it's

[00:13:51] like it takes time I wish I could say I am a superwoman and on top of all that I do cook every night

[00:14:01] but that is simply not the case our time is so freaking limited now with the baby and my bonus

[00:14:07] daughter and factor meals has been an absolute lifesaver for Tay and I you get chef prepared meals

[00:14:14] on the table in two minutes with factors ready to eat meals so you can focus on the more important

[00:14:19] stuff you've got going on in your life no prep no mess no cleanup without sacrificing the flavor

[00:14:26] and the variety of eating at a restaurant you can customize your meals weekly and get as much or

[00:14:32] as little as you need as well as pause or reschedule deliveries to suit whatever your lifestyle is

[00:14:38] seriously you guys factor meals are delicious I talk about them all the time and they have truly

[00:14:43] taken so much stress out of our lives head to factor meals dot com slash FML talk 50 and use code

[00:14:50] FML talk 50 to get 50% off your first month plus 20% off your next month that's code FML talk 50

[00:14:59] at factor meals dot com slash FML talk to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next box

[00:15:08] while your subscription is active if you ask Tay if he could only eat one thing for the rest of his

[00:15:14] life the answer would be cereal whole disclosure I was first influenced by Miss Morgan will let to try

[00:15:20] magic spoon cereal so when I found out I was going to get to offer you guys a deal on it I was so

[00:15:26] excited because it is so freaking good magic spoon has zero sugar so we can not only have it for

[00:15:33] breakfast but late night snacks and it's perfect for the kiddos to get them a healthy meal without

[00:15:38] the sugar crash I love their variety pack four flavors are cocoa fruity frosted and peanut butter

[00:15:46] this pack has zero grams of sugar 13 to 14 grams of protein and 4 to 5 grams of net carbs per serving

[00:15:54] made with wholesome ingredients and no artificial flavors or dies big yay it is high in protein gluten-free

[00:16:02] grain free and soy free Tay and my bonus daughter are cereal connoisseurs and they are in love with

[00:16:08] magic spoon and cannot believe it's packed with as much goodness as it is go to grab a variety pack

[00:16:14] and try it today I promise you guys will not be disappointed and be sure to use our promo code at

[00:16:20] checkout to save five dollars off your order and magic spoon is so confident in their product

[00:16:26] it's backed with a hundred percent happiness guarantee so if you don't like it for any reason

[00:16:30] they'll refund your money no questions asked try a delicious bowl of magic spoon cereal today at

[00:16:36] magic spoon dot com slash fml talk and use the code fml talk to save five dollars thank you magic

[00:16:44] spoon for sponsoring this episode I remember when I was in the thick of it all at the guest house and

[00:16:56] you were like it just takes time and i'm like thanks Gabrielle love you but like can you give me a

[00:17:01] better answer like if it's time i'm like if it's time all i want to do is hit fast forward

[00:17:08] and i think what's been so powerful for me is reflecting upon that specific time to say okay

[00:17:17] i am now at the place where i would have hit fast forward to land on and so i wake up every day

[00:17:24] just so excited that it's all behind me and just so happy that i'm only looking at what's in front

[00:17:30] of me and not in my rear view and the more memories that i build waking up every day the further and

[00:17:37] further in the you know in the distance it becomes and it's so true it's like you just have to

[00:17:44] give yourself grace and be patient it's so hard but it's it's really worth it yeah oh my god i

[00:17:51] so agreed do you feel because i whenever i get asked in interviews about all the stuff that i

[00:17:56] went through i'm like look i would do it ten times over to end up where i am now do you feel

[00:18:02] the same or are you like i could have skipped out on that section of life and been just fine and

[00:18:08] found my way to self-love and discovery a different way or are you like at a place where you're like

[00:18:14] i get all the lessons i get why i had to go through it and like i'm at peace with it

[00:18:20] i'm definitely in the place of that needed to happen on so many levels mostly when we're

[00:18:29] talking about self-love i had so much insecurity around my mental health and i would have continued

[00:18:36] to fall in a coat of pendant relationship it had i not had the PTSD where i had to start to understand

[00:18:42] my brain in order to heal it and if i hadn't dealt with all that i mean i'm not wishing PTSD upon

[00:18:50] anyone it was absolutely the worst thing i've ever had to experience physiologically and just

[00:18:58] in life in general but i would not have landed in this place had i not gone through it and had

[00:19:06] i not dissected all the things that were up with carly that carly would have never dug up without

[00:19:14] like now i listen i've dug everything that needs to be dug i i have excavated i am a paleontologist

[00:19:20] for all i'm concerned of emotional health i feel like i'm an expert on how to dig through your

[00:19:27] shit and i now kind of find myself and i'm sure you can feel this way too as an advisor to other people

[00:19:34] that are like i have this one thing about me that i just this seems like it's a looming problem

[00:19:40] and i seem to be in these patterns and i'm like oh i know the remedy for that here i mean there is

[00:19:45] this meditation here's you know go see a therapist here's all the things that i did and

[00:19:50] the self-care stuff and yeah i mean i'm definitely out of place of peace especially now being in

[00:19:57] this new chapter and knowing myself this well is allowing me to be a great teacher allowing me to

[00:20:03] be a great creative and to respect myself yeah for sure oh yes i resonate with that big time

[00:20:11] the episode that i did last month with morgan we got into you know she has an ex that she broke up

[00:20:18] with that they broke up on reality tv and it was pretty public and one of the listeners wrote in

[00:20:25] and asked a really interesting question they actually ended up bringing you up in that episode

[00:20:30] because i resonated with it and it was do you ever get pissed off that your friends that are on

[00:20:37] reality tv are supporting your ex and are like pretty much like excusing what he did to you

[00:20:44] and i was like me call on me raise my hand i was like well my friend karlie krack we all you know

[00:20:51] ran in similar circles and for me personally i i mean you know this but like for people that are

[00:20:57] listening i have cut ties to certain relationships because i had friends that are still in you know

[00:21:05] communication and support of your ex and after everything that went down i was like i just can't

[00:21:11] support people who think that that's excusable or okay so i'm interested to get your perspective on

[00:21:20] when you're going through for the people that are going through toxic relationships are trying to get

[00:21:24] out of them where do you fall on other people that might be in your circles or in friend groups that

[00:21:33] don't you know ditch the person who did all of the bad things and how did you handle that and

[00:21:40] navigate that i mean i can really only speak to my experience because with that particular situation

[00:21:47] it was blatant psychological abuse you know it was really severe it was intentional and there was no

[00:21:56] it was very black and white you know i think it's definitely case by case because you know there's

[00:22:02] two sides to every story or you know there's so many variables at play but what was tricky for me

[00:22:10] was that because all the facts were out there and because you gave me the platform to explain everything

[00:22:19] you know a to z all the way through i think both of us were really disheartened like how can you hear

[00:22:27] all the facts and then not you'll choose the wrong side yeah and so i think if you are in the middle

[00:22:35] of a toxic relationship and you have friends in the similar circles i think it's a matter of if

[00:22:41] they're willing to hear your side or listen to you you know it's almost like i also feel that

[00:22:48] i did your podcast and you know the people that you had to end up cutting off i don't think

[00:22:54] that they ever made an effort to hear my side directly outside of the podcast or you know

[00:23:01] they just chose the wrong side and i think whatever it's neither here nor there but i think when

[00:23:08] you face these types of moments when you're telling your truth you'll really learn who are

[00:23:16] the real ones and who are the ones that would rather turn to blind eye and i think that that just

[00:23:22] speaks to people's character so when you face adversity in any circumstance relationship wise

[00:23:29] or not i think it shows you who your real friends are and i i think that that's sort of the blessing

[00:23:35] in it all is yeah you know you can cut people out that maybe you should have cut out a little sooner

[00:23:40] and just didn't see the signs because you weren't faced with any hardships back then yeah i also

[00:23:46] think the older we get it's like why are we keeping people around that aren't like filling our cup

[00:23:51] and you know reciprocating a healthy relationship it's like we have enough friends you and i are

[00:23:58] both very similar in the sense of like we are like i'll just block them they just no longer exist um

[00:24:05] and i know that there was someone in particular that you chose to do that with and i ended up speaking

[00:24:13] with them and i was like girl it's nothing personal like it's literally just like to protect

[00:24:18] her mental health like it's very simple and like sometimes people take it so personally and

[00:24:25] and it's like you got to understand like whatever you need to do when you're dealing with a situation

[00:24:30] that's toxic in any capacity like that's what you have to do if people are sad about it if people

[00:24:36] are like disgruntled about it it's like that's their own shit showing up being reflected to them it

[00:24:42] has nothing to do with you and i think it's a maturity thing i think that the people that know you

[00:24:49] best will understand when you have to put up those boundaries or when you have to you know protect

[00:24:55] yourself and in that particular circumstance i was accidentally seeing pictures of my ex and it

[00:25:01] was sending me into full-blown panic attack and panic episodes and it wasn't personal and i think

[00:25:08] that you know on a certain level there has to be a certain level of maturity that picks in on the

[00:25:14] other side to say oh okay well i don't want her having panic attacks but some people aren't in

[00:25:20] that space and that's okay but you just have to do what you need to do for you amen girl

[00:25:26] all right let's get out of the narcissistic ex-pulship but i know everybody needed that little update

[00:25:30] to know how much Carly has been fucking thriving lately since we talked about you taking your year

[00:25:37] of sobriety which i was so proud of you for doing can we talk about your first drink that you had

[00:25:41] and who it was with in that night it was with the one and only deke you all is uh no one likes a

[00:25:49] great beer sobriety with other than fucking mama Wallace it was so funny because i was trying to

[00:25:55] plan like my big rooftop moment and then de hit me up that she was gonna be in town and invited me

[00:26:00] to go see the music man and i was like well i mean i think i'm just gonna have to push it up a day

[00:26:06] because because dewe all is coming to town yeah so we had a we had a celebratory martini and

[00:26:13] that was such a great moment and i felt like i really earned that martini i had worked so hard

[00:26:19] that year and i grew my TikTok following and i had you know mounted the musical in both cities

[00:26:28] and they were both sold out and i i was just so proud of myself because i also more than anything

[00:26:34] had put everything out there and i again don't think i would have gotten to that place without

[00:26:41] being sober or off booze because i was so clear headed about it and focused yeah for sure

[00:26:48] i will never forget you texting me when you were out with my mom and you sent me like a picture of

[00:26:53] you guys at the music man which was obviously starring oh my god his name is gonna escape me right now

[00:26:59] you jackman thank you i wanted to say you grand i'm like that's not right and my mom is obsessed

[00:27:03] with him and gaharley text me and she's like i'm sitting at intermission with your mom and she's

[00:27:08] like god i would do him so hard like i believe in the exact quote was i would so do him

[00:27:16] she's gonna fucking kill me for sure it's publicly it's so funny i'm like mom i text you all when

[00:27:22] with you jackman i know i know i texted her when uh his divorce news broke and i was like

[00:27:29] mom just saying we love landing but you know it's like it's you jackman that's like hall pass

[00:27:37] stop it

[00:27:45] okay before we jump into like a kind of update on like what you're doing now and all of the fun things

[00:27:50] i'm gonna hit you with a couple listener questions okay and the first one because everybody always

[00:27:57] wants to know about relationships is are you dating harley i'm not really actually i you know

[00:28:06] was trying to date i was you know i'm in new york and it's a little difficult

[00:28:13] to date here for whatever reason i don't know if it's the pool of people i also was working a full time

[00:28:19] job all year last year where i had minimal time to myself and i tried i had a few bad experiences

[00:28:27] and it just made me more hellbent on staying focused on my goals so yeah right now i mean i'm

[00:28:33] remaining open i'm about to move to a new neighborhood so who knows i could beat somebody there but

[00:28:38] i'm not explicitly seeking out anything you're very focused on my goals yeah i love not to put

[00:28:46] you on blast but i loved what you said to me when you came out for Thanksgiving and you were like

[00:28:51] you know if it doesn't happen in the immediate future and like i decide i want to have a kid i can

[00:28:58] adopt like there's so many different like avenues that you can like take now as a woman you can do

[00:29:03] it yourself and i think that's really important for people to hear because we are taught growing up

[00:29:09] as little girls it's like you find the man of your dreams you get married you have a little cute baby

[00:29:15] you have the white picket fence and there's so many different ways to go about doing that now

[00:29:20] tay and i were discussing the other day about how lucky we are to be in the relationship that we're

[00:29:26] in and a few other people that we know that are in relationships that they fucking hate right now

[00:29:31] and i was like yeah dude but like we're on round two like we fucked up the first time too like we're

[00:29:36] on our second do over two so like give them a little bit of time they'll probably figure it out

[00:29:40] like maybe the second one will be better but i thought it was so great that you were just kind of like

[00:29:45] yeah it's like i'm the number one priority and like if i decide i want to like take different jumps

[00:29:51] or different routes in my life like i don't need a partner to do that necessarily yeah and i

[00:29:56] i feel like there's even in 2024 there's still that family pressure there's still all of those

[00:30:03] things and those little whiskers you know oh i think your brother's gonna beat you to the aisle or

[00:30:08] whatever and i'm just like i'm just not here for it at all because i spent a decade my entire

[00:30:15] 20s of my life focused around being someone's wife being good at it and making that everything

[00:30:22] that i was and now that i'm free of that and those expectations i don't necessarily feel like

[00:30:31] hellbent on needing a partner or needing somebody in my life yes i love companionship and i think

[00:30:39] that's amazing but i'm really enjoying my freedom understanding what it's like to be completely

[00:30:46] independent make my own money be you know getting my own place and i'm just really happy and

[00:30:54] i think logistically especially because i'm in a neighborhood with a bunch of young families

[00:30:59] and everything and i think i'm just not there yet and that's okay and i don't have to be so stressed

[00:31:06] about my biological clock i'm like listen if the eggs dry up then whatever like i'll just all

[00:31:12] adopt a child that needs a family you know i i'm not so adamant about having a little

[00:31:19] carly running around i'm more so like okay if i really want to take on that role of being a parent

[00:31:27] then i'll do it when i'm ready i love that fuck yes i'm so glad that you're openly speaking about

[00:31:33] that because i think it's so important for women to hear that okay this is an interesting question

[00:31:39] because i get it all the time based on my books did you receive any pushback after your show or was

[00:31:45] there any drama around the fact that you put out a full-ass musical about what you went through with

[00:31:52] your ex even if there was i really can't remember because the positive response

[00:32:04] was so overwhelming that even if there was any drama and also my ex had been cut out of my life

[00:32:11] for almost a year at that point so if there was drama i heard maybe some whispers but the

[00:32:19] unbelievable amount of people that were texting me after the performances saying oh my god

[00:32:27] i've never felt more seen oh my god there are parallels in a relationship i was in you know your

[00:32:34] the show was equally part funny and tragic and that made me just feel so not even vindicated it

[00:32:43] just warmed my heart because it was a very scary thing to do and it was just one of those things

[00:32:49] you know i'm pretty spiritual but i just knew i had to do it i didn't know why i just was being

[00:32:55] guided by something some bigger force was at play where i just knew i had to do it and so even if

[00:33:01] there was drama it didn't really matter because i was so pleased and humbled by the response

[00:33:10] yeah never let fear of what someone's reactions are going to be deter you from doing what you know

[00:33:16] you're supposed to do they might shut down your instagram accounts they might talk some shit

[00:33:21] to their friends but like all in all the amount of people it will help and the positive response is

[00:33:27] going to be so fucking worth it so always do it yeah yeah so no real drama that got to me

[00:33:36] yeah which is all that which is all that matters yeah any new songs on the horizon you know

[00:33:44] i have been writing a lot i am currently in the process of working on some tv projects and

[00:33:52] i came to New York to really focus on my songwriting and that was a big part of the feedback too

[00:33:58] was i had always done musical comedy strictly and then when i made it a bit more vulnerable people were

[00:34:04] giving me the feedback you know you should maybe put more energy into writing real songs and so

[00:34:09] i've really made a commitment to myself in the new year to let go because i think a lot of last

[00:34:16] year was spent writing songs being like where am i going to put it in is it going to go in a new musical

[00:34:20] it's it going to go in a pop album it's you know i was so worried about the result of where it would

[00:34:25] land so i'm really trying this year to just create freely but i do have quite a bit a little

[00:34:31] collection of new material it's just going to be a matter of where it ends up landing but i'm

[00:34:37] i'm sort of leaving that up to the universe to figure out i love that that's a great way to approach

[00:34:42] any creativity because we're always so worried about the outcome to just do it for the love of it

[00:34:48] it always ends up finding its place in a better and bigger way anyways so i'm very here for that

[00:34:53] give us a little update about what is going on in new york life what's coming up what are all the

[00:34:59] exciting things sure so my main well the first thing is i need to find an apartment in the next

[00:35:07] month so i'm right now in the thick of apartment hunting but i'm really excited because i worked

[00:35:12] super hard last year so i'm really proud of myself for setting myself up to find a great place and

[00:35:18] start a new chapter i've been living with my brother which has been nice but like in our 30s and

[00:35:23] 18 month you know cutoff is probably healthy but we get a long grade it's been really nice to

[00:35:30] be here and to come into a safe environment to start my life here i am again focused a lot on

[00:35:38] songwriting and i am a comedy teacher so i have a comedy crew for kids in new jersey i'm with them

[00:35:46] every weekend and we develop original material original characters and i'll be working on their

[00:35:52] showcase over the next month and it's just been the greatest joy of my life to take all of my

[00:36:00] acting knowledge and energy and passion for comedy and put it into these young performers to

[00:36:06] allow to them are young professionals so on the topic of what i do it all over again i just keep

[00:36:13] saying you know if i had to go through everything i went through to end up with these particular kids

[00:36:19] it's so worth it they're just such a joy and i am finding i didn't know that this was

[00:36:27] part of my path i didn't see this coming they're such a blessing to me and i'm

[00:36:32] fully present with them every time i'm with them and that's a really cool feeling

[00:36:37] i fucking love that so much yes parley crag yes okay so it wouldn't be a fun

[00:36:43] parley crag reunion episode without a wild fml story i've had you want to talk about episodes of

[00:36:49] the minis and if people have not subscribed to the patreon minis you don't know what the fuck you're

[00:36:55] missing because the stories that you have told on the minis are wah i hold and hilarious i would maybe

[00:37:02] so i was like parley we got to do an fml story obviously so many of your songs that are like

[00:37:08] the classics now to me and all the good times titty girl like there's so many that are just like

[00:37:15] really big hits in our household and i know that what your fml story might revolve around

[00:37:21] the birth of one of those songs so can you please take us through that if you would

[00:37:26] yes ma'am so i played i played a show in april and i kind of recontextualized my show i it was

[00:37:36] becoming sort of not unhealthy but i needed to put the emotional roller coaster project down for a while

[00:37:43] just to start my new life everything so i rewrote the show i wrote it on entirely a new show basically

[00:37:50] that took those same songs but put them in the context of you know if i was a child her former and

[00:37:56] adolescent show woman that was raised in a traveling circus and you know she became the world's first

[00:38:01] comedic pop star so you know we'll start there uh but i i performed the song titty girl in the show

[00:38:08] and actually my drummer was somebody that i took to and i thought he was very handsome he asked me out

[00:38:15] after the show and we start talking and then it became very obvious that well i should

[00:38:23] preface this by saying titty girl is a song i was inspired by showing my titties for pizza and

[00:38:28] college you know i did it once in college those telehazzy nights so i sang this song in the show all

[00:38:36] the things so i started talking to my drummer we're getting along great all these things and we got

[00:38:41] into a couple little tips about gender roles and one day we were having good conversation on the phone

[00:38:49] and i was talking about marty go bra and i said something like oh yeah you know i

[00:38:55] i loved new orlands and marty grow was such a blast you know i got so many beads because you know

[00:39:00] i was showing my titties whatever i'm not thinking much of it because i'm a florida girl like we all do

[00:39:05] it you know maybe it's an exclusive florida thing i don't know but whatever it's very normal

[00:39:11] so so he goes wow you did that and he said yeah after he had played the song titty girl in my show

[00:39:22] right and i go yeah you know like the song titty girl where i did it in telehazzy he goes i

[00:39:31] thought that was made up wow i am disgusted and i was like wait are you serious like you know

[00:39:38] like i'm a teacher inspiring the youth you know that i wrote all my music by myself you know

[00:39:43] all these great things about me that is gonna shatter your image of me that's the deal breaker

[00:39:50] is wow i'm really gonna have to think about that and i said well this has been fun

[00:39:58] you're like let me think about that for you goodbye let me think about that for you i hope

[00:40:03] you find the woman you're looking for and it's going to be probably hard to find someone that

[00:40:07] hasn't shown their nipples at least once when they were drunk but you know maybe they're out there

[00:40:12] they're out there i'm sure they just probably aren't from florida oh my god but was the pizza worth it

[00:40:20] dude it's the best pizza i've ever tasted i think with this like garlic butter on it

[00:40:26] ranch marinara sauce uh yeah you're like that's a whole last meal in college and i would do it again

[00:40:33] i would i would and i did it a couple times but you know what it's neither here nor there it was

[00:40:38] a very long time ago at this point but i was astounded i couldn't believe that he was so judgmental

[00:40:46] especially because he had played my show and then i was like so what do you think about and all the good

[00:40:52] times because that's the other you're like f-y-i none of this was made up this was all based on reality

[00:41:02] yeah and i think he was confused because i had recontextualized it all and it was like this

[00:41:08] character right but yeah he was very uh blindsided by that fact and so you know he looks to say he and

[00:41:15] i are are no longer in communication just for any of the men listening you can show your titties

[00:41:20] and do anal and still be like a fucking bad bitch that's like keep coaching kids making everything

[00:41:28] in the world better like come on guys it's 2024 i get with it yeah with that come on hello hello

[00:41:33] hello okay last thing to end on what is the biggest gift slash lesson you learned over the past three

[00:41:44] years on your healing journey that you can offer to other people who might be going through something

[00:41:50] along those lines it's too fold i would say it's equal parts trust your guy and don't listen to

[00:42:02] what people tell you you're supposed to be doing if i had listened to all the people that told me

[00:42:09] not to tell my story on the podcast told me not to put my story into a musical you know judged

[00:42:17] me for taking a year off alcohol or ashamed me sort of made me feel like oh well you must have

[00:42:23] a really serious problem then you know i didn't listen to any of that and i think that came out of

[00:42:30] years of being a people pleaser and years of tiptoeing around other people's needs

[00:42:36] and the second that i started trusting my gut and honoring my own needs that's when the world

[00:42:42] just started opening up for me and the door started flying open and through that trust and that

[00:42:50] unapologetic vulnerability it drew the people into my life that are now my closest friends

[00:42:57] and in my tightest circles so i would say that's the biggest piece of advice is just heal your way

[00:43:03] and don't listen to the naysayers and the people that don't understand what you've gone through

[00:43:10] fuck yeah i'll cry cry on that note i know you're taking a break off of social media which i

[00:43:16] love for you and i'm a bit jealous of on the inside but if people want to come stock all of your

[00:43:22] wonderful content that has been posted in the past do you want to give them your your handles

[00:43:27] sure you can visit me on instagram actually both instagram and tiktok is carly crags ca r li e c r a i g

[00:43:35] we love you we're so fucking proud of you i'm so glad to see just how absolutely wonderful

[00:43:41] you're doing and uh we can't wait to have anti-carly back in california at some point

[00:43:46] i know a little baby so sweet just i know your listeners probably don't know what he looks like but

[00:43:53] he's really cute but he really is man so sweet i look at him every day and i'm like

[00:44:00] yes i got we made you look how fucking cute you are we did good i feel i feel the same way when

[00:44:05] i look at a little Oliver because he thinks i birthed him but i know it's totally different oh my god

[00:44:10] i love it it's not i mean dog dog baby real baby whatever it's fine whatever it's all the same i love

[00:44:17] you thank you for being here thank you for always being so authentic and vulnerable and i know

[00:44:21] how many people you inspire with your journey and your story so we appreciate you coming back on

[00:44:26] to share it i love you babe thank you for having me

[00:44:33] i want to thank carly so much for coming back on and gracing us with her presence if you guys

[00:44:40] need to laugh go find her tiktok do a deep dive youtube her look up some of the clips from her

[00:44:48] musical comedy shows that she did um about her emotional roller coaster of getting out of a

[00:44:55] narcissistic relationship they're fucking hilarious and make sure you go back and revisit that two

[00:45:01] part episode that we did um back in season three because there's a lot of really good stuff in there um

[00:45:09] to really get you through toxic shitty relationships it's also just like watching a fucking

[00:45:15] Netflix show because the drama was wild i love you guys i hope you enjoyed having this carly

[00:45:22] mother fucking craig back on the episode today um i love you and i will see you next week

[00:45:31] all right fmellors if you don't want to miss an episode make sure to follow on your favorite

[00:45:36] podcast app and if you're loving the show drop us a five star rating and leave a review you can

[00:45:42] keep up with me on instagram at gabriel stone or the podcast page at fml talk podcast for all the

[00:45:49] merch and books signed personally by me you can shop the fml line on eat prey fml.com and as always

[00:45:57] have a fucking self love cocktail on me cheers

[00:46:01] this podcast has been brought to you by podcast nation