Fame, Loss, Motherhood and F%cking Magic with Jennifer Love Hewitt

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[00:00:50] What is up all of my beautiful freaking people

[00:00:54] Welcome back to another episode of FML Talk

[00:00:57] You guys, we on FML Talk don't always have super famous guests

[00:01:04] That everybody knows and is a household name

[00:01:07] Because I'm really passionate about the actual content

[00:01:11] And healing journeys and fun stories and what people have to say

[00:01:15] This is not necessarily true for this episode

[00:01:19] Because you are going to get all of those things with a household name

[00:01:23] So sit back, grab a cocktail and welcome to FML Talk

[00:01:29] Oh my god

[00:01:30] Wait, how old was the other girl?

[00:01:31] 19, can you believe that she's a...

[00:01:32] Hey, this is Gabrielle Stone

[00:01:34] Good book

[00:01:36] He did what?

[00:01:37] 48 hours?

[00:01:38] What a dick

[00:01:39] Yeah, but have you seen all the photos on her Instagram?

[00:01:42] And this is FML Talk

[00:01:44] Oh no, she didn't

[00:01:46] Oh my god, you guys I'm so excited

[00:01:48] My inner 90s child is like jumping up and down, kicking and screaming

[00:01:52] This fucking interview is so good

[00:01:56] There's a little bit of nostalgia for my 90s babies in my early 2000s

[00:02:01] There is an entire journey and really like just in-depth conversation

[00:02:10] About loss and healing and how to move through that grief

[00:02:14] And how it feels to come out the other side of it

[00:02:17] And the beauty of juggling work and motherhood and all the things

[00:02:20] Because my guest today is none other than the Jennifer Love Hewitt

[00:02:26] I have been a fan of her for so, so, so many years growing up

[00:02:30] From I Know What You Did Last Summer to Party of Five to Heartbreakers

[00:02:35] To like, I mean, the list goes on and on and on

[00:02:39] You could literally spend an entire episode naming this woman's credits

[00:02:43] She is a force to be reckoned with on screen

[00:02:47] And I can now confirm off-screen as well

[00:02:51] She has a new book that's coming out that's now available for pre-order

[00:02:56] We will list all of that info in the show notes

[00:02:59] Called Inheriting Magic that is going to be such a good read

[00:03:05] I can't wait for you guys to hear a little bit about it

[00:03:09] Stay tuned at the end of this episode

[00:03:12] Because offline, before we were officially recording

[00:03:15] We chatted a little bit about the fact that she may or may not

[00:03:23] Have worked with and knows Javier

[00:03:29] And it's going to be a little added bonus of BTS at the end of this episode

[00:03:36] So without further ado, sit back, the motherfucking queen is here

[00:03:41] Jennifer Love Hewitt, I can't believe I just said that

[00:03:48] Welcome to FML Talk, how are you my love?

[00:03:51] I'm so good, thanks for having me

[00:03:53] Oh my god, are you kidding? Thank you for being here

[00:03:55] I mean, I could just like ramble off all of your credits

[00:03:58] But let's just blanket it with your iconic

[00:04:01] Like do you-

[00:04:02] That's really nice

[00:04:03] Yeah, no, it's very much so true

[00:04:06] Like so many of my listeners have grown up on you

[00:04:09] Like when I told my girlfriend Alex, give her a little shout out

[00:04:13] That you were coming on the show, she was like

[00:04:15] I am a fan of no one

[00:04:17] Like I fan girl over no one

[00:04:19] But Jennifer Love, like I used to watch like the Barbie workouts

[00:04:23] That she did as they trial

[00:04:25] Yes

[00:04:26] And I have been following her since then

[00:04:28] She's like, that's ridiculous

[00:04:30] And I'm like, yeah, she's iconic

[00:04:32] You've been in this business for so long

[00:04:34] Oh my gosh, hi Alex, you're the best

[00:04:37] Thanks for that

[00:04:38] I love it, oh my god, she's gonna pass out

[00:04:40] That's great

[00:04:42] Yeah, your mom and I actually have talked about that a lot

[00:04:45] It's like really nice to be in the business

[00:04:48] For a really long time

[00:04:49] And still say that you're here

[00:04:51] I think it's so interesting because we're like

[00:04:53] Such a time in the business where I think everybody's like

[00:04:55] Oh, I want to be famous

[00:04:57] You're like, maybe don't be super famous

[00:05:00] Like don't reach that certain level that burns out at some point

[00:05:03] You know what I mean?

[00:05:04] Be the kind of famous that allows you 35 years later

[00:05:07] Or 50 years later or whatever it is that you want to accomplish

[00:05:11] Because then you get to stick around

[00:05:12] And it doesn't kind of burn out and go away

[00:05:15] Which is really nice

[00:05:16] Yeah, you're like, do you want to be famous

[00:05:18] Or do you want to consistently have a job for a really long time

[00:05:21] Right

[00:05:22] Right

[00:05:23] And get to do what you love

[00:05:24] Yeah, in an industry that's like, yeah

[00:05:27] Like you get to go to work and play pretend every day

[00:05:30] Yeah

[00:05:31] Just before we get into like the good needy stuff

[00:05:34] I have to tell you because I don't even know if I've told my mom this

[00:05:37] But when she was shooting a movie in South Africa

[00:05:42] And we were like flying back and forth

[00:05:44] I think I was in like fourth grade at this time

[00:05:46] The flight is like unbearably long

[00:05:49] And I would watch movies on the plane

[00:05:51] And when my nanny went to sleep

[00:05:54] I discovered the movie can't hardly wait

[00:05:56] And maybe watched it eight times back to back

[00:06:00] And it was like my first like, oh there's like

[00:06:03] Sacks and like party and drugs in this

[00:06:06] And it was my first kind of like more adult movie

[00:06:09] Than I probably should have been watching

[00:06:11] And literally eight or nine times back to back

[00:06:14] Oh my God, I'm so glad you liked it

[00:06:18] I'm so glad I could be there for that moment for you

[00:06:20] Thank you, yeah

[00:06:21] So you like ushered me into my like adult movie face

[00:06:28] Oh my God, you're welcome

[00:06:30] Thank you, thank you

[00:06:31] So besides being an incredible actress

[00:06:34] Who's been working for so long

[00:06:35] You're a mom to how many kids do you have?

[00:06:38] Three

[00:06:39] How are you doing?

[00:06:40] Because I have one and I'm like this is so much

[00:06:44] It's wild

[00:06:46] I mean it's the greatest thing in the entire world

[00:06:50] And it's the most exhausting thing in the entire world

[00:06:52] Because there's just no like vacation day

[00:06:55] For a mom or dad

[00:06:57] And it's just like that's all the time

[00:07:00] So it's wonderful

[00:07:01] I mean it's great

[00:07:02] But I'm definitely at this point with three kids

[00:07:05] Like I go to work and I'm like oh this is so relaxing

[00:07:09] This is so nice

[00:07:11] Oh my God

[00:07:12] You can ask me my question every five seconds

[00:07:14] I love this

[00:07:15] Oh my husband actually laughs at me

[00:07:17] Because I will go to work

[00:07:18] Like if I have a 4 a.m. call

[00:07:20] I'll get there at 3 30

[00:07:22] Or if it's 4 30 I'll get there at 4

[00:07:25] You know you don't have to get there that early

[00:07:26] I'm like oh I know

[00:07:27] I know

[00:07:28] But this is like a half an hour to myself

[00:07:31] With coffee and affirmations

[00:07:33] And like watching the vampire diaries

[00:07:36] If I want to and reruns

[00:07:37] Like whatever it is

[00:07:38] Like it's just anytime

[00:07:39] Oh my God

[00:07:40] So I love that for you

[00:07:42] And it's so funny that like

[00:07:44] And of course you know being like an actress

[00:07:46] We have the privilege to be like

[00:07:48] Oh yes I get to go beyond set for 12 hours

[00:07:50] But like the fact that being on your feet

[00:07:52] For 12 hours

[00:07:53] And you know especially in TV

[00:07:55] When it's like go go go go go

[00:07:56] It's not easy work

[00:07:57] The fact that that's a vacation

[00:07:59] You're like I can't wait

[00:08:01] It's amazing

[00:08:02] Like I just helped my step

[00:08:04] Story of the day with my little Lottie

[00:08:05] Know

[00:08:06] And in one day

[00:08:07] I can do between 22 and 25,000 steps

[00:08:11] In my house

[00:08:12] With like Laundry chasing

[00:08:14] My two and a half year old

[00:08:15] I'm going to the park

[00:08:16] Doing the errands

[00:08:17] Where there's all the things

[00:08:18] When I'm at work

[00:08:20] It's like 10 to 15,000 steps

[00:08:22] Right

[00:08:23] And I'm like how does that make any sense

[00:08:26] Right

[00:08:27] Like it should be

[00:08:28] At work there's all the steps

[00:08:29] But no at home

[00:08:30] It's just like constantly going

[00:08:32] But I do love

[00:08:33] I mean it's the greatest thing in the entire world

[00:08:35] I waited a long time to do it

[00:08:37] I really wanted to do it

[00:08:38] And it's turned out to be even better

[00:08:40] Than I could have imagined

[00:08:41] Yeah

[00:08:42] Did you have fear

[00:08:43] Going into motherhood

[00:08:45] Being like oh is this going to

[00:08:47] Pinder or affect my

[00:08:49] Business and work life too much

[00:08:51] I didn't worry about that so much

[00:08:53] But I did have a lot of questions around like

[00:08:56] What on earth did being an actress

[00:08:58] For my whole life

[00:08:59] Like how did that prepare me for motherhood

[00:09:02] Oh interesting

[00:09:03] Like I was more like

[00:09:05] I am not going to

[00:09:06] Like I'm not going to know

[00:09:07] How to do this right

[00:09:08] I didn't go

[00:09:09] And I worry about it still

[00:09:11] Like thinking about my kids

[00:09:12] Going to high school

[00:09:14] I didn't go to high school

[00:09:15] Like I was on a set

[00:09:17] With like one teacher

[00:09:18] I never went to a high school party

[00:09:20] I didn't have like a boy

[00:09:22] Break up with me

[00:09:23] And then have to like

[00:09:24] Continue my classes for the day

[00:09:26] Or you know go

[00:09:27] And like have girls be meeting

[00:09:29] To me at a party and like

[00:09:30] Crying in the back

[00:09:31] Like I didn't have the camp

[00:09:32] Hardly wait

[00:09:33] Is literally the only high school

[00:09:34] Party I've ever been to

[00:09:35] Stop

[00:09:36] Right

[00:09:37] So it's like

[00:09:38] And that was awesome by the way

[00:09:40] So it was really good

[00:09:41] But so I worried more about

[00:09:43] That stuff and I think

[00:09:45] When my daughter was kind of

[00:09:46] Was like it was sheer panic

[00:09:48] And I write about this a little bit

[00:09:49] In my books that I was like

[00:09:50] I don't know

[00:09:51] You know you hear about all the types of moms

[00:09:53] Which I hate

[00:09:54] Like we shouldn't put moms

[00:09:55] And like types of moms

[00:09:56] We just shouldn't do that to each other

[00:09:57] But you hear about it

[00:09:58] And I was like who am I

[00:10:00] Like what mom title am I going to have

[00:10:03] An entertainer

[00:10:04] Like how does that help me

[00:10:05] And then when my daughter was born

[00:10:07] I was like oh wait

[00:10:08] Like late night shoots

[00:10:10] Like I know how to stand

[00:10:12] All night

[00:10:13] I love it

[00:10:14] Yeah

[00:10:15] It's different

[00:10:16] But like I know how to do that

[00:10:17] I know how to function on four hours sleep

[00:10:19] I know how to

[00:10:21] You know now like the three kids

[00:10:23] And like the schedules and all that stuff

[00:10:25] It's a lot like directing a TV show

[00:10:27] Or like you gotta

[00:10:28] You know you have to AD

[00:10:29] Like your entire life

[00:10:30] Yeah

[00:10:31] And make sure that like

[00:10:32] Everything's going to fit in the schedule

[00:10:33] And sometimes the actors are temperamental

[00:10:36] And you know

[00:10:37] Like whatever it is

[00:10:38] So I've just kind of turned what I know

[00:10:41] Into kind of like being

[00:10:44] Successful as a mom

[00:10:45] Yeah

[00:10:46] I definitely came into

[00:10:48] Being a mom with a lot of fear

[00:10:50] And I still have you know it's weird

[00:10:52] It's like like I said to think about

[00:10:54] As they get older

[00:10:55] Like my husband's just going to have to take a lot

[00:10:57] Because he got like a normal upbringing

[00:10:59] And I didn't

[00:11:00] Right

[00:11:01] Right

[00:11:02] So it's weird for me

[00:11:03] Summer is here and life is not slowing down

[00:11:10] For us anytime soon

[00:11:12] One of the things we have continuously relied on

[00:11:15] Making our lives so much easier

[00:11:17] Is factor meals

[00:11:18] No prep

[00:11:19] No mess

[00:11:20] No clean up meals

[00:11:22] I have really been off the wagon with my eating

[00:11:24] Since having my son

[00:11:25] And for my health

[00:11:27] My wellness and my mental sanity

[00:11:29] I have been switching my dinners to more healthy options

[00:11:32] From factor

[00:11:33] They have 35 different meals

[00:11:35] And more than 60 add-ons

[00:11:37] To choose from every week

[00:11:39] So I never get bored

[00:11:41] And Tay is continuously shocked

[00:11:43] Every time he sits down to eat one

[00:11:44] Because they are so freaking tasty

[00:11:47] They have breakfast, lunches, dinners

[00:11:49] And desserts

[00:11:50] It's a treat to have restaurant quality food

[00:11:53] That is so easy to prepare

[00:11:54] And doesn't come with the insane postmates bill

[00:11:57] Head to factormeals.com

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[00:12:22] Enjoy fmlers

[00:12:47] That's such a good analogy

[00:12:49] I joke all the time with my first marriage

[00:12:54] Like the wedding that we had

[00:12:56] Like I produced the shit out of that wedding

[00:12:58] We just cast the whole lead completely wrong

[00:13:01] But like it's so accurate

[00:13:03] And like doing the schedules now

[00:13:04] I have an 11 year old stepdaughter and my son

[00:13:07] So it's like all of the soccer games

[00:13:09] And the this and the it's wild

[00:13:11] Like schedule it

[00:13:12] And it is exactly like putting the puzzle pieces together on a film set

[00:13:16] Like trying to figure out what the hell we're doing

[00:13:18] It's that's such a great analogy

[00:13:20] I love it

[00:13:21] Yeah, it's just as moms were the casting director

[00:13:23] Or the producer or the director

[00:13:25] And then the kids are the leads

[00:13:27] And like that's just how you have to do it

[00:13:29] Yes, I love it

[00:13:31] Okay, so let's get into a little bit about your book

[00:13:33] Like what prompted you in this moment of your life

[00:13:37] To be like it's time for me to write this

[00:13:40] My mom has a lot of things to do

[00:13:42] I'm not sure if it's a good thing

[00:13:44] But it's like I'm so excited to do this

[00:13:46] And my mom has it will be 12 years in June

[00:13:49] And it was very unexpected

[00:13:52] Just because she had been sick

[00:13:54] But she was like coming out of it

[00:13:56] So it was unexpected in that

[00:13:57] And it just like

[00:13:58] It just wasn't in the cards at that moment

[00:14:00] Or so I didn't think

[00:14:01] And it kind of

[00:14:03] It just rocked my universe

[00:14:04] My mom and I were best friends

[00:14:06] I mean we did the business together

[00:14:08] For all the years that we did it

[00:14:10] She lived across the street from me

[00:14:12] And we had meetings together

[00:14:13] We had dinner at night

[00:14:15] She was my life

[00:14:17] Like really

[00:14:18] So when I lost her it was like

[00:14:20] Whoa

[00:14:21] Like what do I do

[00:14:22] And I think I just needed a really long time

[00:14:25] To process like how to even talk about her

[00:14:29] Or how to you know

[00:14:31] Kind of function

[00:14:32] And then I very quickly became a mom

[00:14:34] So she passed in June

[00:14:36] And the following April

[00:14:37] I found out I was pregnant with my daughter

[00:14:39] And I was in love

[00:14:41] And you know

[00:14:42] Gonna like be with the guy

[00:14:43] That I wanted to be with

[00:14:44] And we were gonna have a baby

[00:14:46] And so I was like in grief

[00:14:48] And hormonal changes

[00:14:50] Like being pregnant

[00:14:51] And then I was postpartum

[00:14:52] And still very much in grief

[00:14:54] And that was a lot

[00:14:55] And then I was like trying

[00:14:56] To go back to work as an actress

[00:14:57] So I just kind of needed the time

[00:14:59] To sort of do it

[00:15:01] But when I started realizing

[00:15:03] Like kind of coming out

[00:15:05] Of sort of the big fog of grief

[00:15:07] I was like

[00:15:08] Oh there's a really

[00:15:09] Interesting thing

[00:15:10] That's happened for me

[00:15:11] Like I've really gotten out of

[00:15:13] Sort of the greatest sadness

[00:15:15] Like the most magical life

[00:15:17] That I could have ever dreamt of

[00:15:19] And I really feel like

[00:15:20] She's brought pieces of that to me

[00:15:22] And then in my kids

[00:15:23] Asking about her all the time

[00:15:26] And trying to very much

[00:15:27] Like kind of keep her alive

[00:15:28] In our lives

[00:15:29] I was like

[00:15:30] Maybe this would be helpful

[00:15:32] To other people

[00:15:33] Like maybe this thing

[00:15:34] So I kind of sat down

[00:15:35] And I was like

[00:15:36] What was that moment for me

[00:15:37] And my mom was

[00:15:39] A lot like your mom

[00:15:41] In that way

[00:15:42] She was a magical person

[00:15:43] Like she believed in the universe

[00:15:45] And like magic and you know

[00:15:47] Kind of creating just good memories

[00:15:50] And she was always there for me

[00:15:52] And so I like tried to give that

[00:15:53] To my children

[00:15:54] And when she passed

[00:15:55] I remember the first thought

[00:15:56] That I had was like

[00:15:57] Oh my god

[00:15:58] All the magic I've ever known

[00:15:59] In my life is gone

[00:16:00] I'll never know anything about it

[00:16:02] And it crushed me

[00:16:04] And then after my daughter

[00:16:05] Was born

[00:16:06] And I was like

[00:16:07] No you got to get yourself

[00:16:08] Out of this

[00:16:09] I found comfort in creating magic

[00:16:12] For my kids and my family

[00:16:14] In like planning little fun

[00:16:16] Gatherings and parties

[00:16:18] And just fun dinners for us

[00:16:20] And you know kind of

[00:16:21] Making magical decorations

[00:16:23] Like all year long in our house

[00:16:25] And then I realized

[00:16:27] That I had inherited magic from her

[00:16:29] And so that's kind of where

[00:16:30] The book title came from

[00:16:32] Inheriting magic

[00:16:33] And through doing it

[00:16:35] I was like

[00:16:36] I had the strength to create magic

[00:16:38] And through doing these

[00:16:40] Things for my family

[00:16:41] And like taking the things

[00:16:43] That she taught me

[00:16:44] She's more with me

[00:16:45] Than I could have ever imagined

[00:16:47] And so I felt

[00:16:49] Silled enough to sit down

[00:16:51] And write about it

[00:16:52] This is a very long answer

[00:16:53] You know like stop talking

[00:16:54] No please I love that

[00:16:55] I felt like

[00:16:56] I felt like

[00:16:57] Silled enough to actually

[00:16:58] Write about it

[00:16:59] But I also felt like

[00:17:00] Writing it now

[00:17:01] Would kind of push me

[00:17:03] Into that next level

[00:17:04] Of healing

[00:17:05] And it's really hard to write

[00:17:06] The first part of the book

[00:17:07] But I like

[00:17:09] Cried and sobbed

[00:17:10] And sat in it

[00:17:12] And yeah

[00:17:13] I just spoke closer to her

[00:17:14] Than ever now

[00:17:16] Which is really nice

[00:17:18] I can't imagine

[00:17:20] Like the timing

[00:17:21] Of all of that

[00:17:22] That you went through

[00:17:23] Like I've always morbidly

[00:17:25] Joked because

[00:17:26] I've dealt with so much

[00:17:27] Grief in my life

[00:17:28] Like when my mom does go

[00:17:29] Like I have to be happily

[00:17:30] Married with a kid

[00:17:32] Which I am now

[00:17:33] Because like I don't

[00:17:34] I always said I don't know

[00:17:35] If I'll make it through that

[00:17:36] Because since my dad passed

[00:17:37] When I was young

[00:17:38] Like she's been my one constant

[00:17:40] For life

[00:17:41] Like all of the

[00:17:42] Shit I've gone through

[00:17:43] Like she's always been

[00:17:45] The one kind of like

[00:17:46] Lighthouse in my life

[00:17:48] So I so

[00:17:49] Cannot imagine like

[00:17:51] Losing a mom

[00:17:52] And then

[00:17:53] Going on that journey

[00:17:54] Of becoming a mom

[00:17:55] Which of course

[00:17:56] You like want

[00:17:57] Your person to be there

[00:17:58] To like

[00:17:59] Walk you through that

[00:18:00] And like all the questions

[00:18:01] That come up

[00:18:02] And like what you touched on

[00:18:04] Like the grief with the joy

[00:18:06] That was happening simultaneously

[00:18:08] Is like really a lot

[00:18:10] And confusing

[00:18:11] Yeah it was very complicated

[00:18:13] Because so my mother-in-law

[00:18:15] Is amazing

[00:18:16] I mean I always call her

[00:18:17] St. Margo

[00:18:18] Like she's really

[00:18:19] She's an amazing woman

[00:18:20] And my husband was

[00:18:22] I mean we essentially

[00:18:23] Like we're dating

[00:18:24] And kind of fell in love

[00:18:26] In my grief

[00:18:27] Which was so weird

[00:18:28] Because I was so not

[00:18:30] Myself you know what I mean

[00:18:32] Right

[00:18:33] But he was beautiful

[00:18:34] In like giving space

[00:18:36] And being there

[00:18:37] And I mean he helped me

[00:18:39] Pack up my mother's entire house

[00:18:41] And that's how he got to know her

[00:18:42] He had only met her once

[00:18:43] Before she passed

[00:18:44] And he really got to know her

[00:18:45] By kind of like

[00:18:46] Putting her things in boxes

[00:18:47] And deciding what we were going

[00:18:48] To keep and not keep

[00:18:49] Which is such a

[00:18:50] Complicated weird thing

[00:18:51] But when we had

[00:18:52] Our daughter remember this

[00:18:53] Very distinct feeling

[00:18:54] Of like oh my gosh

[00:18:55] I'm so happy that

[00:18:56] Brian's mom gets to be here

[00:18:57] With her

[00:18:58] And I am so angry

[00:18:59] That my mom is not here

[00:19:01] It was so weird

[00:19:03] And I just like

[00:19:04] Even in birth

[00:19:05] With my daughter

[00:19:06] I just remember feeling

[00:19:07] Like I just want to do this

[00:19:08] By myself because that's

[00:19:09] What I have to do

[00:19:10] And I did not feel

[00:19:12] My mom in that labor

[00:19:13] I did not feel her with me

[00:19:14] Like at all

[00:19:15] But my brother was

[00:19:16] Wonderful

[00:19:17] Like sent me messages

[00:19:18] And was there

[00:19:19] You know I had

[00:19:20] Supported friends

[00:19:21] And all of that stuff

[00:19:22] But it just was not

[00:19:23] It was not the same

[00:19:24] It was not the same

[00:19:25] It was not the same

[00:19:26] It was not what I

[00:19:27] I needed or wanted

[00:19:28] In that time

[00:19:29] And then after

[00:19:30] Bringing my daughter home

[00:19:31] It was like

[00:19:32] People would come and visit

[00:19:33] And family members

[00:19:34] Would want to see her

[00:19:35] And I was like this is great

[00:19:37] But my mom's never going

[00:19:38] To walk through my front door

[00:19:39] She's never going to meet

[00:19:40] My daughter

[00:19:41] She's never going to see

[00:19:42] How beautiful she is

[00:19:43] She's never going to know

[00:19:44] How proud she should be

[00:19:46] Of how I got through it

[00:19:47] And did it

[00:19:48] And it really complicated

[00:19:49] I think

[00:19:50] Most part of them for me

[00:19:51] And I just remember

[00:19:52] That I was so happy

[00:19:53] That I was so happy

[00:19:54] That you got this

[00:19:58] And I was walking

[00:19:59] Postpartum for me

[00:20:00] And people were like

[00:20:01] Oh did you get

[00:20:02] Postpartum with autumn

[00:20:03] And I was like

[00:20:04] Post-grief

[00:20:05] It's a really weird

[00:20:06] Combination of the two

[00:20:07] So yeah

[00:20:08] It was complicated

[00:20:09] But

[00:20:10] Having babies

[00:20:11] Is your blessing

[00:20:12] And my daughter

[00:20:13] Was magical

[00:20:14] And I really think

[00:20:15] That she

[00:20:16] She was medicine

[00:20:17] For me

[00:20:18] In those early days

[00:20:19] And I think that's

[00:20:20] Why it was hard

[00:20:21] To go back to work

[00:20:22] A lot of people

[00:20:23] I just want to go right back to work and I was like, I'm healing.

[00:20:27] Yeah.

[00:20:27] And I wouldn't even know how to do that right now.

[00:20:29] So I just needed a minute, you know, it's fine.

[00:20:32] And then when my son was born, I had grief again.

[00:20:35] And then what was beautiful about my third is I was so far pasted at that point

[00:20:39] that that was the birth I felt her in the most because I think I was ready

[00:20:43] to like be open to that.

[00:20:45] And so I didn't have that grief after he was born.

[00:20:48] It was just kind of like, oh, here we are, you know?

[00:20:50] Yeah.

[00:20:51] So yeah, they were it was interesting

[00:20:53] for sure.

[00:20:54] OK, first of all, I love that people are like, why isn't she ready to go back to work?

[00:20:57] Like as if having a baby isn't enough to like want to just pill and take some time

[00:21:03] in motherhood, it's like I've just gone through two big life altering, you know,

[00:21:09] events. One was a trauma.

[00:21:11] Like give me a beat.

[00:21:13] Hey, yeah, I wonder now that you're a little bit more removed

[00:21:17] from the grief and on your healing journey.

[00:21:21] Do you look back now because you were like, I she's never going to be able

[00:21:24] to meet her and see how proud she should be and like all the things.

[00:21:28] Do you feel differently about that now?

[00:21:30] Like, do you know that she's been able to see and experience that in a different way?

[00:21:35] I do. I do.

[00:21:36] And I really feel like, I mean, it's, you know, I've had two boys since having my girl.

[00:21:41] There is no doubt in my mind that that girl first came to me from my mom

[00:21:47] to show me all the things she had always explained to me.

[00:21:50] She was like, one day you're going to have a little girl and you're going to

[00:21:52] understand why I've loved so hard or why I've done this or why I've done that.

[00:21:56] And I was like, okay, you know, as we do.

[00:21:59] So yeah, no, I definitely feel differently about it now, but I think it was,

[00:22:04] it was such a raw thing.

[00:22:06] And I was a person really before my mom passed.

[00:22:09] I really had a hard time with change.

[00:22:11] I was not a changed person.

[00:22:12] I wanted everything to be like even from the time that I was a kid,

[00:22:16] I needed all my stuff, the animals.

[00:22:17] I needed all my family.

[00:22:19] I need all my stuff and I wanted everybody to just surround and nobody to change.

[00:22:23] You know, and I think in her passing, I really learned that sometimes

[00:22:27] change can be profound and it could be good for us and it can push you into

[00:22:33] you know, places in your life that maybe you're afraid of.

[00:22:35] Yeah.

[00:22:36] So I really learned a lot from her passing that was beautiful.

[00:22:39] It just took me, just took me a minute to get there.

[00:22:43] But yeah, no, I know she was there and I know she was watching.

[00:22:46] And I know that my daughter is from her and my daughter is so much like her.

[00:22:51] It's wild.

[00:22:52] She says things and does things.

[00:22:53] And I'm like, what?

[00:22:55] That is my mom.

[00:22:56] I love that.

[00:22:57] I always, I was like, so sure I was going to have a girl.

[00:23:01] Like I've had mediums tell me, like I was like, we don't even need to

[00:23:05] get a test, like gender reveal.

[00:23:07] What?

[00:23:07] Like it's a girl.

[00:23:08] My mom was like, yeah, we know, like 100%.

[00:23:10] It's a girl.

[00:23:11] And when we did the gender cupcake and it was blue, mine and my

[00:23:16] mom's face were like the shock of the century.

[00:23:19] And then immediately after, cause we did it at our wedding, I was like

[00:23:22] two or three months pregnant when we like actually had our wedding a couple

[00:23:26] minutes after the man who is my son's godfather came up to me and he's like,

[00:23:31] you're really surprised.

[00:23:33] You really think that your dad was going to not send you a boy?

[00:23:37] Like what?

[00:23:39] And I was like, yeah.

[00:23:41] Okay.

[00:23:42] That tracks like, I guess that makes sense.

[00:23:46] And it's, it's been so healing for all of the trauma that I've experienced with

[00:23:54] men specifically, like my dad passing.

[00:23:56] I lost my high school sweetheart when I was 18 and just like the heart

[00:24:00] breaks that I've endured to now have this little baby boy.

[00:24:05] It like almost has redefined how like the lens that I look at other

[00:24:12] men that have affected my life.

[00:24:14] And I'm like, Oh, maybe they didn't have like that mom that protected

[00:24:18] them so fiercely or like someone to like teach them or keep them safe.

[00:24:23] And it like gives you this like beautiful forgiveness in the

[00:24:26] vulnerability of how little they once were.

[00:24:30] And you forget that when you're dealing with them on an adult basis.

[00:24:35] Yeah.

[00:24:36] That's beautiful that you got that.

[00:24:38] So it's really amazing what happens and what we're sent.

[00:24:42] And I, and I really do believe we are sent the parts of us that either

[00:24:46] need to remember or the parts of this that are broken and need to heal.

[00:24:50] And we're sent that in our children to, to look deeper at it and to grow

[00:24:57] from it and to feel better inside.

[00:25:00] It's really, it's really special that way.

[00:25:03] I'm glad that you got that.

[00:25:04] And I'm sorry for all of your loss.

[00:25:06] Oh, thank you.

[00:25:07] I know.

[00:25:08] I feel like it, as much as we know, like it's part of life and it makes us

[00:25:12] who we are and it allows us to grow and heal and redefine ourselves in

[00:25:18] different ways.

[00:25:18] It never makes it easy, but it shapes us into, I mean, I feel for me personally,

[00:25:23] it's shaped me into the woman that I am today and why I can show up as

[00:25:27] like the mother that I am and the business woman that I am because I've

[00:25:31] gone through all that stuff and I'm sure you feel much of the same in

[00:25:33] that respect.

[00:25:35] Yeah.

[00:25:35] I agree.

[00:25:36] Totally.

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[00:26:53] So take me through like what really the book like covers.

[00:26:58] It's obviously your journey through losing your mom and like having the

[00:27:01] kids, but what can people kind of expect to get from it?

[00:27:05] Is it a traditional memoir or is it a traditional book?

[00:27:08] Is it more like you just wanted to kind of let a specific part of your life out?

[00:27:14] So I wanted to kind of tell the story of my mom because I just really haven't.

[00:27:18] It's been very private for me, that part of it.

[00:27:21] And because it'd been such a public person, my whole life, it felt

[00:27:26] weird to like not say anything about it, you know.

[00:27:29] And again, in sort of realizing that I inherited magic, I kind of like

[00:27:33] spun me into this new version of myself.

[00:27:36] And so I'm like in the process and sort of recently have started this

[00:27:40] brand called Holiday Jumpy.

[00:27:42] And it's sort of my love of all the holidays, but specifically like just

[00:27:47] creating moments with your for yourself, for your friends, for your kids,

[00:27:53] for your marriage, for just everything in life, just like trying to infuse it

[00:27:57] with a little bit more magic and trying to just give it a little bit more

[00:28:00] thought so that when your children look back and when the people in your

[00:28:04] life look back, it feels special.

[00:28:07] Like that time with you feels extra maybe, but like, but special.

[00:28:13] Yeah.

[00:28:13] So the book kind of goes from my mom passing to sort of me having my

[00:28:19] family and my kids sort of learning how to like create magic for us.

[00:28:23] And then it kind of goes into what I call everyday magic and the sort

[00:28:28] of like stuff that we do in our families that we do these dinners

[00:28:31] around the world just to basically get our kids to like eat other foods

[00:28:35] and like bacon and french fries and chicken fingers where we will, you

[00:28:38] know, dress up from make the table feel like it's Paris.

[00:28:42] And so they get to have like steak frets or, you know, we'll do boba and

[00:28:46] dumplings or, you know, whatever it is, we'll travel to England and

[00:28:50] efficient chips and, you know, whatever just to kind of like get

[00:28:53] them to do fun things.

[00:28:54] But again, it feels like magical.

[00:28:56] Like I did a glow in the dark dinner for my kids where it was

[00:29:00] literally just pizza like on plates, but I did our whole room in

[00:29:03] our house and all glow in the dark stuff.

[00:29:05] Oh my God.

[00:29:06] We got to have fun.

[00:29:07] The glow sticks in it.

[00:29:09] You know that kind of stuff.

[00:29:10] And then the birthday parties for my kids is such a big thing.

[00:29:15] And I live in LA where it's like a giant thing.

[00:29:18] And I was like, how do I not spend a million dollars every

[00:29:21] birthday party?

[00:29:23] I'm like literally have no savings for anyone in our family.

[00:29:26] Yeah.

[00:29:26] But like try to feel like I'm competing with these moms out

[00:29:29] there who do these extraordinary things, you know.

[00:29:31] So I was like, I kind of have to make it my own.

[00:29:34] And so yeah, in that everyday magic section, it's like kind of

[00:29:38] how we infuse everyday magic into sort of our lives, but

[00:29:41] also how like I learned kind of in doing the birthday parties,

[00:29:45] how to sort of do that stuff.

[00:29:47] And then the final part of the book is the holiday junkie

[00:29:49] section.

[00:29:50] It's really just about how complicated Christmas can be

[00:29:54] when you miss someone or you miss a lot of people.

[00:29:58] And kind of being sensitive to people sort of feeling that

[00:30:02] sadness and that joy at the same time.

[00:30:04] And just like creating our own traditions and making things

[00:30:08] special, but also using them with stuff from my family

[00:30:10] and things that you know, my mom maybe did for me.

[00:30:13] And so that's kind of the book.

[00:30:15] It's sort of like I tell people a little bit about me

[00:30:19] and kind of how I found myself in this way, how I

[00:30:22] sort of learned to use my mom's magic and now how

[00:30:25] I've kind of taken it and made it my own.

[00:30:27] Oh my God, I love that.

[00:30:28] It's a memoir-ish, I would say.

[00:30:30] Yeah.

[00:30:31] Oh my God, that's so beautiful.

[00:30:33] And I think it's going to really resonate and connect with

[00:30:37] people who have not only lost their mom, but lost any

[00:30:40] prominent figure in their life because there's so many

[00:30:44] times like at Thanksgiving or any like major holiday when

[00:30:48] you see those little memes get posted around that are

[00:30:51] like I'm sending love to anyone who like doesn't

[00:30:54] have the family around or does miss someone.

[00:30:56] And that's so very real.

[00:31:00] It really is this weird mix of like joy and grief.

[00:31:04] And I have to put on a face and show up for my kids

[00:31:06] and all of the different complicated emotions that

[00:31:09] happen all in one.

[00:31:11] And I totally see why you and my mom clicked because

[00:31:14] like she literally, the other day texted me and was

[00:31:17] like 285 days until Christmas.

[00:31:20] And I was like, you're actually insane.

[00:31:23] I sent that text to my friends.

[00:31:24] I was like, guys, I'm so excited.

[00:31:27] Somebody sent me a thing saying it's like 12 Fridays

[00:31:29] to Halloween and I literally was like vibrating.

[00:31:32] I was like, oh, it's coming.

[00:31:35] I'm so excited.

[00:31:37] Wait, that's also so terrifying to hear.

[00:31:39] Like how has the year gone by that fast?

[00:31:42] What do you mean 12 Friday until Halloween?

[00:31:44] I have to slow down.

[00:31:45] No, truly.

[00:31:46] Now I think it's less because I think that was like a

[00:31:48] couple of weeks ago.

[00:31:49] Yeah.

[00:31:50] No, it's crazy.

[00:31:51] It's crazy.

[00:31:51] But I love it.

[00:31:52] And like the holiday stuff really just it just like it

[00:31:57] expands my heart and my kids loving my son, Aiden, the

[00:32:02] baby because he was born in August.

[00:32:04] That's really like fall for me.

[00:32:06] Like I'm into fall and magic falls.

[00:32:10] And I'm like way before Starbucks.

[00:32:11] Like Starbucks is late on the pumpkin latte at all

[00:32:14] in my opinion.

[00:32:15] So I'm like already into that.

[00:32:17] And from the day he was like, he came home from

[00:32:19] the hospital and they were already like pumpkins and

[00:32:22] oh my God placement, you know, all the things like out.

[00:32:26] And his favorite song to fall asleep to is it's

[00:32:29] beginning to look a lot like Christmas for my

[00:32:30] family because every time he would like go to sleep or

[00:32:34] wake up in the time the other things were there was

[00:32:36] always something holiday and he would let it be

[00:32:38] joking.

[00:32:39] He would like take an app and he would wake up at

[00:32:40] a brand new holiday in our house.

[00:32:42] Like some new deck had been added and my kids

[00:32:45] love it.

[00:32:45] And like my daughter had a little like sleep over

[00:32:48] the other day and she made a charcuterie board and

[00:32:51] like had the theme for the party like her little

[00:32:54] summer party thing.

[00:32:55] And she decorated it and I was like, I'm so proud.

[00:32:58] Yeah.

[00:32:59] I'm so good.

[00:33:00] Oh yes.

[00:33:01] Yeah.

[00:33:02] I have magic in them and my son Aiden walks around

[00:33:05] with Juan all the time and he's like, Mommy's

[00:33:06] magic, Mommy's magic.

[00:33:07] And he loves it.

[00:33:08] And it's just it's great and it fills my heart

[00:33:11] and it's like the magic that I create from

[00:33:13] them now really is my own.

[00:33:14] Like it's different from what my mom used to

[00:33:16] do for me, but it's so inspired by her.

[00:33:19] Yeah.

[00:33:20] That's great.

[00:33:21] Oh my God, I love that so much.

[00:33:22] That gave me chills.

[00:33:23] What made you decide to have them on the

[00:33:27] cover?

[00:33:27] I mean, it's obviously not a real traditional

[00:33:30] photo, but it's a beautiful image.

[00:33:33] I love the whole aspect of it and what

[00:33:36] inspired you to want to do that?

[00:33:38] So they're all throughout the book.

[00:33:40] You'll see them at their birthday parties.

[00:33:42] You'll see them at Christmas as babies is

[00:33:45] getting older.

[00:33:46] And we've been really careful about our kids.

[00:33:49] I mean, I truly think this is the first time

[00:33:51] anybody's seen their face.

[00:33:52] So it's like a random paparazzi shot of us

[00:33:55] at the farmers market, which are like, oh, why?

[00:33:58] So it was really daunting for me and even

[00:34:01] more than like releasing the book, I think

[00:34:03] this thing that I was most nervous about

[00:34:04] is people seeing our kids.

[00:34:06] And like it's beautiful.

[00:34:06] I love them and like it wasn't about them,

[00:34:08] but it was just about kind of opening up

[00:34:10] some opinions about that, you know, God

[00:34:13] I've never been some like hater out there

[00:34:14] saying something about anything, but I couldn't

[00:34:18] like the book is so who I am and so much

[00:34:23] about my family that my husband and I were like,

[00:34:26] we can't like put bars over their face.

[00:34:29] Like we can't not show them.

[00:34:30] They are the magic and the book is really for them.

[00:34:34] It's for them to see like, it's the first time

[00:34:38] that they've heard that I was sad about losing my mom

[00:34:41] and when I wrote about, you know,

[00:34:43] I've read them everything that's in the book

[00:34:45] as I wrote it.

[00:34:46] And it was the first time they knew how my mom passed away

[00:34:49] and like, you know, how I missed her

[00:34:51] and that it was difficult for me when I had them,

[00:34:53] but like they were my medicine.

[00:34:55] And so it just was so important to me

[00:34:58] that if I was going to tell the whole story

[00:35:00] they had to be seen and they had to be in it

[00:35:02] because they are a story.

[00:35:03] And I want them to take the book proudly

[00:35:05] and know that it's who our family is

[00:35:08] and we're proud of that.

[00:35:10] And they're really excited about it.

[00:35:13] They, my daughter was like, guys, I'm on the gram.

[00:35:17] I'm officially on the gram.

[00:35:19] Oh my God, I'm dead.

[00:35:20] And I was like, you cannot have the gram.

[00:35:22] You cannot have the gram, but you are on the gram.

[00:35:25] Oh my God.

[00:35:26] So I was really excited.

[00:35:26] My daughter was like, is there a red carpet

[00:35:28] that I'm going to walk for something?

[00:35:29] Because I feel like people are going to want to see me.

[00:35:31] I'm like, no, calm down, go to school.

[00:35:33] Oh my God, I'm dead.

[00:35:35] And my middle son is like, I'm going to baseball.

[00:35:38] I can hear less about this book and this whole whatever this is.

[00:35:41] And the baby of course has no idea what's going on,

[00:35:44] but my daughter was very into it.

[00:35:45] She was so excited.

[00:35:46] Oh my God.

[00:35:47] And how old is your daughter?

[00:35:48] She's 10.

[00:35:49] Oh my God, I love it.

[00:35:50] She's at that age.

[00:35:52] Oh yeah.

[00:35:53] So she liked them and was telling everybody.

[00:35:55] So it was cute, but they're not soaked up in it.

[00:35:59] They're not taking it for more than what it is,

[00:36:02] which is good so far.

[00:36:03] But it's been fun for them.

[00:36:05] Yeah, it's made them feel,

[00:36:07] which I wasn't expecting really,

[00:36:09] but my daughter was like, I feel important to you.

[00:36:12] It was like, you are important to me.

[00:36:14] I was like, you're not important to me

[00:36:15] because you're on the book.

[00:36:16] You're important to me because you're my kid.

[00:36:19] And she was like, I know what she said,

[00:36:20] but it feels important to be shared in Mimi's story,

[00:36:24] which is what they would have called my mom.

[00:36:26] And so it makes me happy.

[00:36:28] That's really awesome.

[00:36:30] I made the gram, I cannot.

[00:36:32] I made the gram.

[00:36:33] Oh my God.

[00:36:34] It's really funny because my stepdaughter

[00:36:36] is written about in my second book and I changed her name.

[00:36:40] But when we were traveling,

[00:36:43] I had this one FMLR that recognized this

[00:36:46] and came up to me and introduced herself.

[00:36:49] It was very sweet.

[00:36:50] And she was like, oh my God, is that blue?

[00:36:52] And that's her name in the book.

[00:36:54] And she was just like, oh my God, I'm famous.

[00:36:58] It was like this.

[00:36:59] You saw it happen.

[00:37:01] And she was like, wait, people don't know me.

[00:37:03] I was like, oh here we go.

[00:37:05] Down around it.

[00:37:07] I was like also you cannot read either of these books

[00:37:09] until you're over 18.

[00:37:10] So just like pump the brakes, child.

[00:37:14] It's cute though when they have that moment.

[00:37:16] That was exactly how my daughter, she's like,

[00:37:18] she's thought, oh well people are gonna be,

[00:37:20] I was like nobody's talked about any of us.

[00:37:22] They just looked at the cover and they liked it.

[00:37:24] But I love that.

[00:37:26] I love that.

[00:37:27] Do you have any feelings around

[00:37:30] like if any of your kids would ever want to go

[00:37:33] into the industry, are you one of the people that's like,

[00:37:36] we're not gonna do that?

[00:37:37] Or are you more like, whatever your passion is,

[00:37:40] like we'll do it when the time is right.

[00:37:42] It's interesting.

[00:37:44] I just had this conversation with my son, Atticus yesterday.

[00:37:47] Because he was like, he said,

[00:37:49] are you gonna be mad at me if I don't wanna be an actor?

[00:37:52] And I was like-

[00:37:53] What an interesting question.

[00:37:54] Yeah, I was like no.

[00:37:55] And I was like where is that coming from?

[00:37:57] And he said well, now that we're on the book cover,

[00:37:59] it was like people might think that I wanted to follow

[00:38:02] in your footsteps.

[00:38:03] And I was like footsteps.

[00:38:04] I was like no.

[00:38:06] It's like, I don't, I want you to be happy.

[00:38:08] And I was like, I want you to do whatever it is

[00:38:10] you wanna do and he's like great

[00:38:11] because I don't wanna do anything like that.

[00:38:14] And I was like, okay, awesome.

[00:38:15] And he said, but daddy does it and you do it.

[00:38:17] So I just didn't want you to get mad.

[00:38:20] And I was like not mad, find your joy,

[00:38:23] do whatever you want.

[00:38:24] And my daughter piped it and she was like,

[00:38:25] well, I'm gonna do it.

[00:38:27] And I was like, okay.

[00:38:28] And she said no, but for real, she was like,

[00:38:30] I really wanna be an actress.

[00:38:32] I really wanna do this.

[00:38:33] I really wanna give it a try.

[00:38:35] And I was like, okay.

[00:38:36] I said, I think that's great.

[00:38:38] We can do that.

[00:38:39] I said, when are you thinking?

[00:38:40] And she was like, well now,

[00:38:42] I'd love to be on a Disney show or something.

[00:38:45] And I was like, well, okay.

[00:38:48] You're like let me just pick up the phone for you child.

[00:38:50] Yeah.

[00:38:51] Like at first time I'm hearing about this

[00:38:52] and I was like, well, you know,

[00:38:53] a lot goes into this,

[00:38:54] if there's a lot that you would have to give up

[00:38:57] to do it and you'd have to really think about that.

[00:39:00] I was like, but if it's something

[00:39:01] that you really wanna do,

[00:39:04] we can talk about it.

[00:39:05] I said, let's maybe give it a year

[00:39:07] and see how we feel.

[00:39:08] And I was like, if in a year's time

[00:39:10] it's something that you still wanna do,

[00:39:11] maybe we'll start with like voiceover stuff

[00:39:14] or if I do a project,

[00:39:16] she was on an episode of 911.

[00:39:18] She was in one scene.

[00:39:19] My husband guested on the show.

[00:39:21] Oh, fun.

[00:39:22] I was in the scene.

[00:39:23] She played our daughter like in a dream sequence

[00:39:25] and she didn't- Oh my God, so cute.

[00:39:27] Yeah, all she had to do was say hi

[00:39:28] and she was like, but she loved it and she had fun.

[00:39:30] And I was like, you can do little things like that.

[00:39:32] Like you could pop in and kind of whatever.

[00:39:35] I was like, but before you make it a career

[00:39:36] let's just take a beat.

[00:39:38] Yeah, smart.

[00:39:38] So, you know, for me when I was a kid,

[00:39:42] I was the driving force.

[00:39:43] Like my mom was a school teacher.

[00:39:45] She was a totally normal woman

[00:39:47] who knew nothing about the industry.

[00:39:51] And I was like, this is what I wanna do.

[00:39:54] We're doing it.

[00:39:56] Can we give it a try?

[00:39:56] And so I was like, let's go.

[00:39:58] And she beautifully and, you know,

[00:40:01] graciously like changed her whole existence

[00:40:04] to kind of try to fit that in.

[00:40:05] And it worked out for us, which thank God.

[00:40:08] So it was okay.

[00:40:09] If my kids were like that with me

[00:40:11] then I think I'd have to go with it

[00:40:13] and I would know how to do it.

[00:40:14] Like I've been a kid actor

[00:40:15] so I could definitely guide one of them

[00:40:18] and kind of do that.

[00:40:19] But I think for now,

[00:40:22] I would like them to hold off on it just a little bit.

[00:40:25] I think that's a really the whole give it a year.

[00:40:28] And if it's still like a passion that's burning,

[00:40:31] then we'll cross that bridge.

[00:40:32] That's a really smart way of looking at it.

[00:40:35] Yeah, cause I think, you know,

[00:40:37] she's gonna be 11 in November

[00:40:39] and she's gonna be heading towards being a teenager.

[00:40:42] And that's a hard time.

[00:40:44] And I just don't know

[00:40:45] that she's gonna still feel that way.

[00:40:46] But if she can call up to the Disney channel

[00:40:49] and see what they find.

[00:40:51] She's like, I just liked a star in a Disney show.

[00:40:53] No bigs, like whatever.

[00:40:55] It's like I'm on the ground.

[00:40:56] Can I be in a Disney show?

[00:40:59] Hello.

[00:40:59] Oh my God, I love it.

[00:41:01] Okay, so if you can tell people that are listening

[00:41:03] from writing this book

[00:41:04] that are in the middle of their grief journey

[00:41:07] and I feel really grief is like such a broad scale.

[00:41:11] It's not only from losing someone.

[00:41:13] It can be from a heartbreak

[00:41:15] or a loss of any kind

[00:41:17] like a person or a dream

[00:41:19] like any type of grief comes

[00:41:21] in so many different shapes and forms.

[00:41:23] What is one thing you can give them

[00:41:26] that shows a little bit of light

[00:41:27] at the end of the tunnel

[00:41:28] that you might touch on in your book?

[00:41:31] I think that when we are in the middle

[00:41:34] of any kind of deep pain

[00:41:37] it's hard to imagine a time

[00:41:41] where like that hole closes

[00:41:44] or that like ache

[00:41:46] that you feel when you wake up

[00:41:47] and like it's just effort

[00:41:49] to like take a deep breath in the morning.

[00:41:51] We feel like that's just never gonna go away.

[00:41:54] Like you feel like that couldn't possibly turn

[00:41:58] into joy or magic

[00:42:02] or like profound healing of any kind.

[00:42:06] And I truly got like,

[00:42:09] I mean the rug just like swept out from underneath me

[00:42:13] and I really didn't when my mom passed

[00:42:16] know if I would be okay.

[00:42:17] Like I truly didn't.

[00:42:19] And I kind of sitting in grief

[00:42:22] and allowing it to sort of wash over me

[00:42:25] in all the ways that it did.

[00:42:27] I live an extraordinary life.

[00:42:29] Like I have such a deep sense of gratitude now.

[00:42:33] I feel such a deep joy.

[00:42:36] When I cry about her,

[00:42:37] I cry about her deeply

[00:42:38] but I now able to just cry from like

[00:42:42] how lucky lucky I was that that was my mom.

[00:42:46] Like how cool is it that that woman was my mom?

[00:42:49] And I am so thankful for my grief.

[00:42:53] Like I really am thankful for it.

[00:42:55] It changed me in ways

[00:42:57] that I would have never been changed had I not had it.

[00:43:00] And so I would just say to people

[00:43:02] with like any kind of pain,

[00:43:04] it's an odd gift but it's a gift

[00:43:07] and it really is like a portal

[00:43:09] to the next thing that you can be

[00:43:12] and the next like extreme amount of joy

[00:43:15] that you can find and pride in yourself.

[00:43:17] I'm so proud of myself for coming through it

[00:43:21] and like being able to fall in love with my husband

[00:43:24] and get married and have kids

[00:43:27] and like write about her and talk about her,

[00:43:30] you know, in this way without breaking down.

[00:43:34] You know, into tears,

[00:43:35] which I honestly didn't know if I'd be able to do.

[00:43:37] And yeah, it's just, I hope the book

[00:43:41] and I hope what I wanted to do in writing

[00:43:43] it was to give people hope and to say that it's messy

[00:43:48] and it's awful, but it is, there's so much good.

[00:43:51] There's so much good

[00:43:52] and that the people that leave us,

[00:43:54] they don't really leave us.

[00:43:55] They just go behind a curtain we can't see

[00:43:58] but they don't leave us.

[00:44:00] Oh my God.

[00:44:01] And then what they leave with us is profound.

[00:44:04] Monumental, yeah.

[00:44:05] Oh my God, what a great fucking answer.

[00:44:07] I'm so glad I asked you that question.

[00:44:08] That was really beautifully said.

[00:44:10] Oh thanks.

[00:44:11] I can't wait for people to read this book.

[00:44:12] It's available for pre-order right now.

[00:44:15] You can go to Jennifer.

[00:44:17] I have a link in my bio, yeah.

[00:44:18] Yeah, which is at Jennifer Love Hewitt on the gram.

[00:44:23] On the gram, she checked me out on the gram.

[00:44:24] The link is in my bio.

[00:44:26] I had to ask five people how to make a link in my bio.

[00:44:29] I was like, guys, how do you make a link in your bio?

[00:44:31] Dad, don't worry.

[00:44:32] My mom doesn't even run her Instagram.

[00:44:34] She's like, Gabrielle, can you post this for me?

[00:44:36] I'm like, I'm not doing 50 other million things.

[00:44:38] Okay, mom.

[00:44:39] So I'm right there with you.

[00:44:40] Okay, four my listeners that are in my age demographic,

[00:44:44] my 90s babies, they would kill me

[00:44:46] if I didn't do some form of like little rapid fire with you.

[00:44:50] Oh yeah.

[00:44:51] So we'll end on that fun little note.

[00:44:54] Okay, favorite 90s movie that you did or one of

[00:45:00] or early 2000s?

[00:45:02] I know we did that somewhere.

[00:45:03] Okay, great.

[00:45:04] Number one.

[00:45:06] Yeah.

[00:45:07] Okay.

[00:45:08] I would say that was number one.

[00:45:09] Favorite co-star you've ever had?

[00:45:11] I mean, right now Kenny Joy.

[00:45:14] Aw, yeah.

[00:45:17] Love that.

[00:45:18] He's the best.

[00:45:19] And most challenging role that you've ever played

[00:45:24] in your career?

[00:45:25] I mean, I would say maybe Maddie is the character

[00:45:27] that I play now.

[00:45:28] She's been through a lot.

[00:45:30] She's had postpartum, she was pregnant during COVID.

[00:45:33] She came into the show in like a 10 year

[00:45:36] very abusive physically and emotionally relationship.

[00:45:39] She's had a typical relationship

[00:45:41] with her parents on the show.

[00:45:43] So I would say she's been, it's also been

[00:45:46] because I'm aging on camera, which is weird.

[00:45:50] I'm working a lot while being a mom

[00:45:52] and feeling like that kind of pole.

[00:45:55] So I would say that yeah, it's been challenging

[00:45:58] but it's also been great.

[00:45:59] I love that.

[00:46:00] Okay.

[00:46:01] And in closing, can you give me a little fun memory

[00:46:05] or story from Heartbreakers?

[00:46:08] Oh my gosh, yes.

[00:46:09] So my very first day of work having to bend over

[00:46:14] and show my butt cheeks in front of Ray Leota.

[00:46:17] He was the most wonderful kind appropriate,

[00:46:21] let me just say, lovely man,

[00:46:24] which is very important because we hear other stories.

[00:46:26] So he was the greatest and I loved him

[00:46:29] but my mother and my grandmother

[00:46:31] was in town visiting decided to go with me.

[00:46:34] Not that day for this big thing.

[00:46:36] So all I hear is my grandmother going,

[00:46:38] is she gonna bend over further than that?

[00:46:40] Like at the monitor and my mom going, another butt shot?

[00:46:45] Like another butt shot?

[00:46:46] It was hilarious.

[00:46:47] So that was my first Heartbreakers.

[00:46:50] And then the second one was that I was 23 or 22,

[00:46:53] yeah, 22, 23, went to the movie

[00:46:55] and I had to wear a very small clothing

[00:46:59] and my character's because we were sexy.

[00:47:02] And I was like a nerd.

[00:47:03] Like I had no idea what to do.

[00:47:05] And so our director was like,

[00:47:07] I need you to like kick the door down,

[00:47:09] walk in, just all of it in your mouth like seductively.

[00:47:12] And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about.

[00:47:15] Like I don't know how to do this.

[00:47:17] So for the entire Heartbreakers movie,

[00:47:19] everything that I had to do to be sexy,

[00:47:21] the male director would have to do first.

[00:47:24] Stop.

[00:47:24] To show me how to be seductive.

[00:47:27] I was like, oh, and he's like, no, too much shoulders.

[00:47:33] Stop it.

[00:47:34] That's not sexy at all.

[00:47:35] He's like, stop doing this.

[00:47:37] I wish that there were like deep behind the scenes footage

[00:47:41] of the Heartbreakers movie.

[00:47:42] So you can see first of all,

[00:47:44] this grown man trying to teach me how to be sexy, right?

[00:47:47] And then second of all,

[00:47:49] the takes before I figured it out were terrible.

[00:47:52] I mean, like I would not have seduced a fly.

[00:47:55] Let alone.

[00:47:56] Oh my God.

[00:47:57] It was cool to see what is the laugh at me.

[00:48:00] First of all, I'm so thankful I just asked that question.

[00:48:03] Secondly, for what it's worth,

[00:48:05] that film I can't even remember how it was

[00:48:08] when I first saw it was one of my favorites.

[00:48:10] And I 100% was like, that's who I want to be.

[00:48:15] I am going to go into this world

[00:48:16] seducing men like Jennifer LePuet.

[00:48:18] So it worked.

[00:48:19] You got it.

[00:48:20] Well, just so you know,

[00:48:21] I had no clue what it was doing.

[00:48:24] Oh my God.

[00:48:26] I love it.

[00:48:27] That's so brilliant.

[00:48:28] Jennifer, thank you so much for being here

[00:48:30] and like being vulnerable

[00:48:31] and sharing all of this goodness with us.

[00:48:33] I can't wait for people to read your book.

[00:48:34] This has been such an absolute joy

[00:48:37] and sending you all the love and all the good things.

[00:48:40] You are the best.

[00:48:41] Congratulations on everything.

[00:48:44] Keep being a great mom.

[00:48:45] A hero great mom you are from your mom.

[00:48:47] Yeah.

[00:48:48] And hold onto your mom tight.

[00:48:50] I will.

[00:48:51] Thank you.

[00:48:55] I want to thank Jennifer so much for taking the time

[00:48:58] to come on FML Talk.

[00:48:59] What a freaking light she is in this world.

[00:49:02] A mom of three killing it as a TV star right now.

[00:49:06] Like all of the things like it's very inspiring.

[00:49:10] She is wonderful and like creating all the magic

[00:49:14] like the inspo that I got from this episode

[00:49:18] on how to create those little magical moments

[00:49:21] for our loved ones.

[00:49:22] And for ourselves really is just the biggest takeaway

[00:49:26] from this episode for me.

[00:49:29] I'm so thankful that she decided to come on

[00:49:32] and share her journey with us.

[00:49:34] Please go pre-order her book.

[00:49:37] The link is in the show notes.

[00:49:38] It's called Inheriting Magic.

[00:49:40] I cannot wait to get my hands on it

[00:49:43] and give it a read.

[00:49:45] Okay, I promised you guys a little bit of tea

[00:49:47] at the end of this episode.

[00:49:48] We obviously had to go through and edit

[00:49:51] when I actually like reveal who this is

[00:49:54] because she was like, you can't not tell me.

[00:49:57] So here's a little TBTS of her putting together

[00:50:02] the pieces of who one of the men in Eat Pravemmelis.

[00:50:06] So the book that I wrote is based kind of like

[00:50:10] on my life and such.

[00:50:12] And like my whole audience is like very invested in it.

[00:50:15] And the X that broke my heart

[00:50:19] before this like grand Europe trip

[00:50:20] that I ended up taking that like a lot of the book revolves

[00:50:23] around you actually know quite well from a show

[00:50:26] that you guys did together.

[00:50:29] Dumb.

[00:50:29] Yeah, so when my mom was like,

[00:50:31] oh, I'm working with Jennifer Love, I was like,

[00:50:33] uh!

[00:50:33] Uh!

[00:50:34] Ha ha ha!

[00:50:36] Yeah.

[00:50:36] Who is it?

[00:50:38] It, it's

[00:50:39] Oh!

[00:50:42] Stop it!

[00:50:44] Stop it.

[00:50:47] And what's so crazy is that in the book

[00:50:50] we like randomly had this like two night go out dancing

[00:50:54] like casual thing.

[00:50:55] And then I met my husband, got married, got divorced

[00:50:58] had all of that happened.

[00:50:59] And then he like re came into my life.

[00:51:01] But when he originally, when we like had dated casually

[00:51:05] was when he was like working with you.

[00:51:07] And I was, I just remember being like, oh my God.

[00:51:11] When my mom told me, I was like, oh my God,

[00:51:13] it's so full circle, it's ridiculous.

[00:51:15] Oh my God.

[00:51:16] That is wild.

[00:51:17] Yeah.

[00:51:18] Wow.

[00:51:19] Yeah.

[00:51:20] All right, you guys, I love you so very much.

[00:51:23] I hope you enjoyed today's episode.

[00:51:25] Please give Jennifer a follow on the gram

[00:51:29] and go place a pre-order copy for her book.

[00:51:32] I love you.

[00:51:33] I will see you next week.

[00:51:34] Cheers.

[00:51:39] All right, FMLers.

[00:51:40] If you don't want to miss an episode,

[00:51:42] make sure to follow on your favorite podcast app.

[00:51:45] And if you're loving the show,

[00:51:47] drop us a five star rating and leave a review.

[00:51:50] You can keep up with me on Instagram

[00:51:52] at Gabrielle Stone or the podcast page at FML Talk podcast.

[00:51:56] For all the merch and books signed personally by me,

[00:51:59] you can shop the FML line on eatprefml.com.

[00:52:04] And as always, have a fucking self-love cocktail on me.

[00:52:09] Cheers.

[00:52:09] Welcome to As A Woman, Fertility Hormones and Beyond.

[00:52:26] I'm your host, Dr. Natalie Crawford,

[00:52:27] and I am a fertility physician

[00:52:29] and co-founder of Fora Fertility in Austin, Texas.

[00:52:32] We will talk about a wide range of topics,

[00:52:35] including the menstrual cycle, your hormones,

[00:52:37] infertility, IVF, mental health and well beyond.

[00:52:42] So join us and become part of the community of collaboration

[00:52:45] that amplifies others as a woman.

[00:52:50] This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.