Celebrating September 4th: Healing, Empowerment and Opening F%cking Doors

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: What is up? All in my beautiful freaking people welcome back to another episode of FML Talk.

[00:00:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, everyone it's Wednesday. Today it is also September and it happens to be Wednesday.

[00:00:19] [SPEAKER_00]: September, Motherfucking 4th everybody. So that means on this show at least in my life we are celebrating

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00]: So sit back, pop a bottle of champagne and welcome to FML Talk.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my, wait how old will we ever grow?

[00:00:34] [SPEAKER_00]: 19 people we've actually had. Hey, this is Gabrielle Stone.

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Good book.

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a couple of seconds.

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_00]: He's in 1, 48 hours.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_00]: What a dick.

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but did you see all the photos on our Instagram?

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And this is FML Talk.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no she didn't.

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. So you all know that I celebrate September 4th.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00]: It was the day of my first wedding which obviously ended in Fcking flames and became shitty day

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_00]: For me and then it was the day I left on my eat prayer for Meldtrip.

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_00]: So it became an epic iconic day in my life.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I celebrated we always choose somewhere to either go or to do a dinner, but like it's a holiday in my life.

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, what am I going to talk about on the September 4th episode today?

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm recording this spoiler alert on August 30th probably a week after I reported mine in Taze monthly episode that we aired and I was kind of nervous to air that episode

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_00]: because you know, Judgeman like all the bullshit and I didn't want people to be like, oh boohoo, you have your career and your mom to a healthy baby.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_00]: And like, you know, you have help and your tired and like all the things.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Let me tell you, I got so many messages from that episode airing from FMLers just you guys listened to the show from old friends who I had no idea

[00:02:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I listened to the show back to old friends who don't listen to the show but saw me post like, hey, I'm not okay. And this is where I've been and they just like wanted the tea.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: But so many people resonated with it and a good friend of mine sent me a voice note and was like, girl, I resonate so hard with what you were saying because I feel so guilty for feeling these feelings when I have

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_00]: healthy kids and everything's pretty okay and on the outside looking in like it seems like sunshine and rainbows, like an eye go on Instagram and I see these fucking moms that's like I'm the CEO of my household.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00]: And I fucking kick ass and I drop everyone at different sports practices and then I come home and I cook a home cooked meal and that is you fucking round of applause standing ovation.

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_00]: I salute you. But if that's you and you're fucking miserable on the inside, you don't want to tell anybody about it. So many of these messages were like, oh my god, I'm so burnout. I have no time for me or I feel like I've lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore and I really want to just tell everybody that's listening to this. If you were one of those people that resonated with it, whether it's kids or something else like you've had another big life change or you've gone through a really gnarly breakup.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And in some way, you feel like you have lost a little bit of who you are and can't find or figure out how to get back to that person. What I want to tell you is this week I've taught today specifically oddly enough. I've talked to multiple different people about my current frustrations, my current situation and like the thing I keep coming back to is it's okay to be in that unknown area.

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to not have the roadmap or the answer or the directions on how the fuck you're going to get there.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Having the faith and knowing that you're going to eventually get there, but not needing to necessarily know how it's going to happen.

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_00]: So the first person I talked to today. By the way, when I sat down to do this, I was like what the fuck am I gonna say? Like I have no, I don't listen to one of Morgan Wolets episodes.

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: The other day, and she was like okay it's a solo so I made notes and done it up. I'm like oh my god, I really do the bare minimum. I get on here and I just say whatever the fuck I'm feeling.

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Like there's no plan. Sometimes it turns out really well and sometimes I end up crying but here we are.

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_00]: So the first person I talked to today that's weird. Just texted me was my good friend Christopher McNeely who if you are part of the Patreon subscription.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: He was on the most recent season of the Minis. He is a dear friend really just spiritual and guided and just good vibes. He's also my son's godfather.

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_00]: So he's also been on the main episode. You guys heard him back in season three. Anyways Christopher McNeely, wonderful human. And I was speaking to him and he reminded me that I kept saying like you know because the person I had talked to you before that was my mom.

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: And we had done some healing work and gotten to some big stuff that at the core of it was like you just have to stand top of your thoughts and go back to your love place and edit it at that. And I was venting to Christopher and I was like sometimes I don't know how to get back to my love place because I'm exhausted or I'm frustrated or I miss.

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_00]: And he reminded me that you don't always have to be in like the sunshine and like rainbows shooting out your ass place. It's okay to be in the different energies as long as you feel that they're empowering you. So you can be exhausted but be in alignment and okay with being exhausted. Like give yourself brace with being exhausted or be frustrated.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And you're really excited at the team in your workplace and want to come in and really lay down the lob but be an alignment with doing that and know that it's coming from a place of authenticity and power.

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't be acting out of fear and that really resonated with me. I then got on a call with Natalie Lucia if you guys are looking for any type of I mean she's a wonderful medium that talks to the other side but I meet with her more for like kind of guidance and reassurance.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I believe her website is Natalie Lucia medium.com but she's phenomenal and then I met with her and she basically reiterated everything that I had just spoken about with my mom and just spoken about with Christopher.

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_00]: But it gave me a really powerful image that I want to share with you today. She was like I feel like there's a door because a lot of times mediums and spiritual guides they'll see like images and then they'll reiterate those images to you and like try and help you decipher them so she's like I feel like I'm at a door and what we want and need is on the other side of the door but there's something.

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Or someone that's keeping the door shut and it's not just like it's not a person and like we started like talking about it and then it hit her and she was like I feel like it's actually fear that's holding the door closed and I of course like laughed ironically because what I had gotten to with my mom earlier really like centered around that.

[00:07:56] [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to try and cryptically break this down for you. If you guys are on the minis listening to the Patreon seasons then you know kind of like behind the scenes what exactly is going on.

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're not sorry, this is the cryptic version but you'll still get the point out of it. And if you want to come hang with us on Patreon there are 13 mini bonus seasons that are so much fun and you also get added to my close friends Instagram story and to the Facebook group and like it's a whole fucking party and it's $10 a month.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Like you spend that on a venti Starbucks if you tip like a good person and if you want to do that you can go to patreon.com slash FML talk, but if you sign up please DM me so I can add you to the close friends.

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_00]: That is on the welcome email but a lot of people don't follow instructions anyways I digress.

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[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_00]: My mom apart from being a healer is an actress and at one point in her career some shady shit happened and she felt like her career was taken away from her.

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_00]: She's a resilient little firecracker from Kansas and has continued working since then and redefined a lot of her life through her healing work, but as a little girl.

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I subconsciously witnessed her go through that whether she like put it on display for me or you know my subconscious picked it up.

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I witnessed her get to this big goal.

[00:11:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I've finally made it I'm on the top of the mountain fucking sticking the flag in and like shouting her a piece of her career and then.

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody elbowed her and was like, psych bitch actually you're going to roll down the mountain and then like trying to climb back up so that's what my little girl saw was when you get to the top and when you get to that.

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Fuck yeah, I made it place like shit's going to go south and you're going to get fucked and people are going to hurt you and like blah blah blah.

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_00]: And so me right now personally with the career ventures that I'm currently on I have done all this stuff and like so many things have come together in like the weirdest universal way and I've been like.

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Sent different pieces of the puzzle and it's like we've gotten like up to the door if you will that leads to the top of the mountain.

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_00]: And lately for a couple months now I feel like every time I come to the door to try and open it it's locked and I'm like okay what about this key what about this key and the door is laughing and going no bitch none of those keys work thank you come again and.

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_00]: And so when Natalie was describing this door she was like it's fear that's keeping it locked it all made sense to me because my little girl inside was panicking.

[00:12:32] [SPEAKER_00]: And going no no no no no no no no no no if we open that door I know what happens we get to go to the top of the mountain and then somebody elbows us off and we like roll all the way down and it really sucks in it hurts and like I don't want to do that.

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_00]: So while conscious adult entrepreneurial like badass Gabrielle has been walking around going let's fucking get the show on the road do this little gap in there.

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Such cute little girl is like I don't look a little bit maybe no maybe maybe let's not.

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_00]: And obviously that has been a conflicting energy.

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_00]: So people like okay great now you figured out this big a homo and what do you do with it and by people I mean me I'm always one rolling my eyes I literally every time my mom does work for me I'm like I feel like I've like gotten to this and we've heard this and she's like yeah Gabrielle it's like an onion like you just have to keep like going in and doing the work and I'm like okay.

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_00]: But I want to stay I'm over.

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Fuck the onion.

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_00]: So once you get to what that is getting to it is a big part of it bringing it into your consciousness and understanding that it's okay this is a thing and I'm going to choose to let it go and direct.

[00:13:45] [SPEAKER_00]: The energy to rebalance and focus on the positive flip of that A and B I'm going to continuously talk to my little my little Gabby inside and remind her that we don't have to repeat the shit that our parents have done.

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's all take a collective breath because I know you're probably triggered in some way shape or form.

[00:14:09] [SPEAKER_00]: We don't have to repeat the bullshit our parents have done.

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Whether that's financial, whether that's career, whether that's love and dating the same fucking assholes over and over.

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Whether that it doesn't matter like you you can be the person that breaks.

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever cycle has gone on in your family in your lineage in your generations it can stop with you.

[00:14:38] [SPEAKER_00]: So reminding my little girl consistently that we can open the door and climb to the top of the mountain easily and once we get to the top of the mountain we can just chill up their impartie for the rest of our lives and everybody can come with us and everybody thrives.

[00:14:54] [SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I am choosing to work on and focus on and know moving forward.

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_00]: And what I am going to choose to celebrate on September 4th.

[00:15:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if you guys will resonate with this but there's a frustration that comes with knowing a destiny like knowing it in your soul and knowing that it's super close and then just having to like chill.

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_00]: And wait.

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm like but can we get a schedule of how we're chilling like don't get me wrong I can sit and binge watch shows till the cows come home if you say hey guess what you have a week to do fucking nothing just sit on your ass orders and postmates binge whatever shows you want I will do that so well.

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_00]: But like I got to know when the when the shit's gonna have.

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Like I got up a plan so it's wildly frustrating sometimes when you are that type a person and you have that ambition and you're like okay but I'm ready for it now.

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_00]: And I keep reminding myself that the universe always has your back and always has a plan as long as you are directing the energy towards what you want and what you know and what you're creating.

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_00]: And you have put the order in I can't tell you how many times on this specific process that I'm being super cryptic about people have been like well it's just.

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_00]: This is difficult right now or this is a not a good time or this is why it's not working for other people.

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_00]: And then some weird shit happens and it just magically does work and does move forward and something does happen you don't need to know.

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_00]: How it's going to come you just have to put the order in and know it's going to show up in the biggest and best way possible and yes there is some imposters and I'm going on in me right now because an hour before this I was on the phone with Christopher crying.

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_00]: And now I'm talking to you and preaching about it like I'm fucking no exactly what I'm talking about and everything's totally fine nobody actually knows what the fuck they're doing we're just regurgitating information that has impacted us on our journey.

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Friendly reminder I'm not a life coach I never went to school I like got my fucking heart ripped out and went on a solo trip where I like drank too much alcohol didn't sleep enough and like you know did some fucking soul searching and wrote a book about it and like now I just talked to people about my experiences I'm like not actually.

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I was never appointed this place so just staying real with you all if you're in that space of like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or what's coming next.

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Or if you're in this space of like I don't even know what I'm supposed to create I don't know what I want to create choose a feeling and focus on that.

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Make it broad to start I want to have so much money that like I never have to even think about where I'm going to dinner or who I'm going to go out with or what I need to buy or what supplies I need to get.

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I want to have so much love in my life that I never feel anxious in my relationship or.

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Never have to second guess things and I always feel heard and I always feel taken care of like start broad if you don't know what the fuck you want and if you really don't know what the fuck you want like.

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I just want to be happy and like let let some surprising shit come in you know what am my favorite things to do is go to a restaurant and be like just bring us what you think is best.

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_00]: And you're totally surprised and just allow someone to like place shit in front of you and you're like oh this is epic that's eat.

[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_00]: When I keep coming back to when you place your order at a restaurant.

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_00]: You don't ever start looking at your watch and you might well it's been 30 minutes do you think it's coming do you think they forgot do you think like they ran out of the chicken like no it's coming it's just epic and they're preparing it and they're making it really well.

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_00]: You just wait in confidence and drink your wine until it arrives.

[00:19:13] [SPEAKER_00]: So what I'm saying is go get drunk until your bad affections show up I'm kidding be confident in the order you have put in and allow it to be delivered to you.

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're listening to this on September 4th post a photo of yourself and tag me and say happy September 4th and show me what you're doing and higher celebrating and have a drink with me because that's what the fuck I will be doing and celebrating.

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_00]: That my life took a huge fucking turn in 2017 and was changed in 2019 and 2020 when this book came out and blew up.

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_00]: And the fact that I get to be here with all of you and that you guys have my back and so many fucking ways even when I show up and cry and say I don't really want to fucking do this anymore.

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I love you for that.

[00:20:08] [SPEAKER_00]: And I appreciate you for that before we get into this effemil story.

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And if you are wanting to come meet me in person and you're one of those people that's like always been asking me to do a meet and greet there's never going to talk to you never say never.

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_00]: There's not time in my life at the moment to travel around the country and do like a fun live podcast type thing but you can come travel with me and a bunch of effemilers and have the best bonding experience travel trip of your life.

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're like oh my god, I need to do a solo trip like Gabriel make it a solo trip where you go meet a bunch of other bad guys women and come travel with me.

[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_00]: We are going to to loom we are going to Columbia we are going to Costa Rica the to loom trip is this year.

[00:21:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And it's coming up in a couple months there's only two spots from people that had dropped out if you want to snag one of those please DM me and I will make sure you get it listed because it is not public anymore.

[00:21:16] [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be epic the guest that is coming on that trip is just chest kiss like the to loom girls are fucking lucky.

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_00]: And then we have Columbia which is in April it's a four day trip three nights so you can sneak away from work it's less paid time off that you'll need to have to like get away from and the Columbia itineraries awesome there's like a dance class we take a boat and like go around these like crystal clear water islands and do this walking food to our it's.

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_00]: phenomenal and a lot of the Portugal girls that came to Portugal are coming on that trip with us and there's a handful of spots left on that and then in April.

[00:21:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I say that right Columbia is in March.

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_00]: This is why I should take notes like Morgan and then in April is Costa Rica that's probably one of the itineraries I'm most excited for it's a week long there's like zip lining and fucking like we go to an organic farm to like cook a lunch and visit we go to like the hot springs it's and we ended up beach it's like pretty epic and we have I think.

[00:22:24] [SPEAKER_00]: five to seven spots open on that still so if you're wanting to come.

[00:22:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Have an epic experience you can do payment plans you can go to trova trip dot com search my name all the trips will come up or you can d and me and be like I want to come to this place with you and I will just shoot you the link it's pretty life changing I can't wait to meet more of you guys and do those trips okay here we go let's get into your FML story.

[00:22:56] [SPEAKER_00]: I get real I feel called to share my story with you.

[00:23:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I want to title I want to title this eat pray fuck baby daddy let's dive in Joey in May of 2023 I was shopping for Mother's Day at a local boutique and it comes a very attractive man recently divorced with his daughter shopping for his mom.

[00:23:16] [SPEAKER_00]: The owner of the store spoke very highly of him and he was so sweet with his daughter we ended up exchanging numbers and seeing each other for a few months.

[00:23:25] [SPEAKER_00]: In August of 2023 I found out I was pregnant I called him right away and asked him to come over so we could talk below is the series of seriously fucked up events.

[00:23:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I got pregnant on purpose tries to convince me to get an abortion I said no said it is as much as his decision as it is mine.

[00:23:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Tells me we will talk again in two weeks and he hopes I change my mind fast forward two weeks.

[00:23:51] [SPEAKER_00]: We sit down to talk for a second time and he explained that he has a lot going on I said yeah buddy I'm the one who's pregnant I get it.

[00:23:58] [SPEAKER_00]: When I asked him what could possibly be more important than this he went on to tell me that his neck has really been bothering him and he has nervous to go to the chiropractor for the first time.

[00:24:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh god it's so good my jaw dropped on the floor to make matters worse he informed me he just hasn't have time for another kid and could only see it the child on Mondays because his schedule is so busy.

[00:24:23] [SPEAKER_00]: After hearing all of his bullshit I told him that he needs to tell me straight up if he wants to be in this child's life or not and he said no.

[00:24:30] [SPEAKER_00]: My beautiful baby boy was born April 30th 2024 and his father still has not reached out.

[00:24:37] [SPEAKER_00]: His daughter has a step brother she knows nothing about and his mother has a grandson she knows nothing about and to continue the incredibly fucked up saga both him and his parents live in the same community as me.

[00:24:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I will be terminating his parental rights as soon as the state of PA says I am legally able.

[00:24:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't change the way things went for the world because I am so incredibly in love with my little boy and have an amazing family to love and support me through it all.

[00:25:03] [SPEAKER_00]: And with that let's all agree.

[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Eat, pray, fuck baby daddy and thank you for reading Amanda.

[00:25:10] [SPEAKER_00]: What a great story that made me smile and I feel like that was very appropriate for our September 4th episode.

[00:25:16] [SPEAKER_00]: It makes me sad to know that his daughter doesn't know about her step brother because I know how much or really half brother right I know how much my step daughter loves her brother like their bond even though their 12 years apart is or 11 years apart is so sweet how they love each other.

[00:25:38] [SPEAKER_00]: So that makes me sad and I know that the grandparents would probably like want to know that so yeah, probably fuck baby daddy you're a dick bro if you're listening to this.

[00:25:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I am sorry that you had to go through that but I do wholeheartedly believe that children come to heal and come at the time they're supposed to arrive and I have no doubt that you and your little man are going to do amazing amazing things in this world.

[00:26:07] [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you for sharing that story with us. I love you guys happy mother fucking September 4th go out celebrate do something for yourself tonight pick an ingredient for yourself love cocktail.

[00:26:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Know that the door can be opened and you can be on the other side in all your fucking glory. I love you. I will see you next week cheers.

[00:26:31] [SPEAKER_00]: All right, FMellers if you don't want to miss an episode make sure to follow on your favorite podcast app.

[00:26:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're loving the show drop us a five star rating and leave a review. You can keep up with me on Instagram at Gabrielle Stone or the podcast page at FMell talk podcast for all the merch and books signed personally by me. You can shop the FML line on eat pray FML dot com and as always have a fucking self love cocktail on me cheers.

[00:27:09] [SPEAKER_00]: This podcast has been brought to you by podcast nation.