Episode 297 - Don't F' with Frendo

[00:00:04] It's time to feel the rage! Welcome to Film Rage where we talk movies in theater streaming and classic films as well. Directors and actors beware as you cannot hide from the rage. My name is Bryce and I'm part of the Film Rage crew which also includes Jim who decided to show up this week. Hey, hey Bryce. Thanks for showing up you loser. And also I don't want to hear anything from you. And also we got the Merman.

[00:00:32] Yo. I hear you were working some heavy metal concert last week. Yeah, I did. I got a lot of heavy metal last week. Nice! Metal! You say there's five bands on the card? Yeah, I couldn't tell you that. Ah, I wish I was there Murr. Why aren't I doing your job? You can do my job. You should have gone. I should have. You could have gone to the show. He knows how to stick things in people's eyes. I don't know what that has to- Oh, Murray does. Excellent. I don't know what that means. So with the introductions out of the way.

[00:01:01] Let's rage on. Well, thanks for all been supporting us. If you love or even like it a little bit, our independent podcast, please like, subscribe, share, and give us a five-star rating on your listening platform. Or support us. Join the Film Rage community by joining our membership at buymeacoffee.com forward slash Film Rage YYC. If you cannot commit to a membership, you can still buy us a movie rental and dare us to see a terrible, terrible, terrible film.

[00:01:27] And we'll watch it if it's played anywhere in a cinema in the world slash universe. Now, let's get to raging. What the amazing moment predict? What the amazing moment predict? Will he predict the rage or will he predict the mondo? Will he tell you all what Jim and Bryce saw at the movies?

[00:01:56] Here he comes now, kids. Better watch your step. Ooh. Cause Mervyn is swimming to you. And you. Swimmery, swimmery. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swimmery. Swimmery, swimmery. Swimmery, swim. Swim all the way to our hearts, our little rage-filled hearts. Swimmery, swimmery. Man, I missed you guys. Uh, yeah, Bryce had just a little trouble singing a little ditty by himself last week. Yeah, it kind of fell apart there.

[00:02:25] I kind of forgot the lyrics. It fell apart big time. You shit the proverbial merman. I kept telling him, feel free not to sing. I had to sing though. You had to. I heard that music and it just, you can't not sing, Murray. It warms the cockles of his cold, dead heart. Even the sub-coccles. It just makes me sad. There's so much sub-coccling going on. Even the sub-coccles are the sub-coccles. All right. Well, once again, we had an evil pentavarate of films. Pentavarate! That's five movies.

[00:02:55] It's also Hail Satan! That's right. Pentavarate, as Mike Myers would say. Um, yeah. So starting with one that we all were supposed to go see. We had tickets for and we all skipped. That's right. That was Clown in the Cornfield. You are correct. I don't know. I was kind of looking forward to it. I might have maybe looked forward to it in a theater with cuff people, but on my own, I'm just not a big horror movie fan, so I didn't go. Okay.

[00:03:24] Uh, but Jim, he loves the horror films. I do! Especially! And it's the guy who did the Dale and Tucker thing. Yes! Versus Evil. Yeah. Who was apparently there and we didn't get to see him, so that's our one. He was there at Chinook the other day? No, he was there at cuff. Oh! We all missed it. Oh! Because I was gonna say, there are only two other people in the theater at Chinook. Maybe he was there watching it. You never know. Maybe! I hope! Well, I hope it wasn't, because that's like one less person. Anyway, uh, yeah, it's a horror movie. It's got clowns in it.

[00:03:53] Lots of blood. Uh, sure Jim, what the hell, Mondo. Nice! Uh, Bryce, maybe he found something stupid about it, so let's go meh. Okay! Okay! Fight or flight. Now, did you see this one? I did see this one yesterday with a bunch of old people. Nice! That's the way I want to watch movies. All movies. Old people. That's why I go with Jim. Exactly! Especially ones who won't shut up. Yes! Just like Jim! What's happening right now?

[00:04:23] What's happening? What'd you miss? I don't know. What did he say? You know what? What did he say? I don't know what it is, but I got so much tolerance for old people in the movie theater. They can talk all they want. Quite often they make the movie better for me. Exactly! That's what I'm saying. Anyway. Uh, yeah. Fight or flight, or as I like to call it, bullet train on a plane. Okay. You're not alone. Um, it's got lots of action. Not much of a story.

[00:04:52] Mm-hmm. And yeah, I saw the bad guy come in about five minutes into the movie, so... Yeah, that's not helpful. Mm-hmm. Uh, double meh. All right. Double meh. And we got the big old Russ. That's right! Rusty! Speaking of cockles. Finally in the years. After like five years of lawsuits and stuff. Yes! I don't know. I didn't even bother watching the trailer. It's a western. It's got Alec Baldwin in it. Let's go double rage. Okay. That seems logical. It does. It does.

[00:05:22] Without even seeing the trailer. Sharp Corner, which I forget what it's about. Yes. But... It's about a sharp corner. And not. It really is. And... No, it is. It is about a sharp corner. It is about a sharp corner. That's not the other action movie. It's about... Is that the other guy trying to kill himself or something? No. Nobody's trying to kill himself. Well, not themselves. But he's trying to kill himself or... No. Uh, anyway. Don't care. Uh... Don't. Let's say Jim, meh, Bryce Mondo. All right. What an interesting take that was, Murray. Okay? Okay. I don't know.

[00:05:52] I saw the trailer like two days ago. Oh, you did? Actually, I saw it on the screen and I forgot what it was about already. Hmm. Uh, Shadow Force. Shadow Force! Shadow Force! Some dude. To be honest... I mean, a hundred movies have been made like it. Yeah. I don't know that Mrs. and Mrs. and Mrs. and Mrs. Smith was one of them. And it was like the second action movie this week.

[00:06:22] Um... I don't know. What the hell? It's, uh... Jim give it a rage and Bryce give it a man. Wow. That's weird. Once again, I don't care. If you're... Your logic should have gone opposite on that. No, it really shouldn't. I should have been the rage and Jim should have been the man. You think? Maybe you're both rage. Who knows? Because I'm more likely to rage an action movie than Jim. It looks stupid anyway. That is kind of... It looked stupid. Yeah. I mean, of us all here, who's looking forward to the next Tom Cruise movie? Uh... Maybe me. Not me. As well as me.

[00:06:51] I do not want to watch that steaming piece of crap. Two weekends from now. I have to suffer through part one. The... And the 9,000 of them that were before it. The American... Everyone has been perfect. The American long shit. Mission Impossible is crap. It's the best series ever made. No, stop it. With the only true superhero that's ever lived. That's true. Pretzels are making me thirsty. Exactly. Alright, well, you know what? We'll transition from that into... Hey, would you wait a second? Talking about clowns. Clown in a cornfield? Yeah. I'll go first.

[00:07:20] Yeah, I'll go first. Okay. Let's alternate this week. What? Yeah, we'll see. Are you sure about this? We'll see what happens. Okay, well... I'm not really prepared, but I'm more prepared than usual. Okay. This is a win for our listeners, I think. Or maybe not. Maybe not. I was prepared last week because I had to be because I didn't have anybody to lean on. I was the only one that saw them. I didn't want them. I didn't want them. You did one of them. You did one of them. But the other two movies no one else saw, so... Alright. Like literally, I think no one else saw because I was the only one in the theater.

[00:07:50] Alright, clown in a cornfield. Take a clown, put him in a cornfield, and then have him kill in various creative ways. Anyone who enters said cornfield. That is a can't-miss concept. Yes! That is not what this was. What? It wasn't that? No! No. But I saw the cornfield. I saw them killing. Yeah, there was a cornfield and there was someone got killed in a cornfield. Technically, the murder you saw, Murray, was outside the cornfield. Yeah, it wasn't in the cornfield. There you go.

[00:08:18] It's a clown in a cornfield. Yeah. It wasn't corn in an adjacent cornfield. Adjacent to a cornfield. So Quinn and her dad move to the sticks from the big city. Quinn falls in with the popular crowd, which includes Cole, who may or may not have been involved in burning down the Bay Pen corn syrup factory, the lifeblood of the town.

[00:08:41] Cole and friends like to make short slasher films involving the beloved Bay Pen corn syrup mascot. Say that five times fast. No kidding. Frendo! Frendo! Frendo! This group of high schoolers are apparently the enemy of everyone in town. So from there, Frendo shows up for realsies and starts picking off our group of delinquents one by one.

[00:09:09] Then eventually there's a big party where things go off the deep end. More teams get killed and we get a giant exposition dump and everything is unconvincingly explained. What? It's like, I'm listening to what you're saying and I'm not buying any of it because that's dumb. I will say most of the kills are fun and some of them are creative, but a few fun kills does not make up for the chasms of awfulness between them.

[00:09:39] I can't believe the dude that directed Tucker and Dale versus evil is the same dude that directed this. This film, sorry, that film was fun from start to finish. This film had 10 minutes of fun and 85 minutes of not fun. Although that scene in the jail where the old dude tells the teens words that we should all live by. Don't fuck with. Frendo! That's right. That was great.

[00:10:09] Still, this film, this film was bad. It just was bad. I was looking forward to this film so much and it was not good. It had every license to be good. It's got a can't miss concept or so I thought and still they started making it overly complicated. I'm like, just keep it simple. Why? Put a corn field with a clown in it. Yeah. And then have people like go into the cornfield and a side. They're just taking off. Leave. That's right. That's the movie. There's all kinds of things that can happen in a cornfield.

[00:10:39] If they were in a corn maze and they would get lost and he would pop out of nowhere and chop off their heads. Also in a cornfield. There you go. Anyways, it was a rage. So what you're saying is I made a good choice of not going to that. In this particular case, yes. However, you know, you are still part of the podcast. It'd be nice to see you every now and then. But I had a choice of one movie out of the five. All right. That was one of them. Okay. Well, you probably made. Well, for you, you made the right choice.

[00:11:07] Do you think we're going to agree on everything this week? I think there's going to be one movie we don't agree on. I think we will. I think we'll 100% agree this movie. Let's see what happens. We'll see. I think one, I think we'll be off on, but we'll see. We'll see. For the first 30 minutes of this. Maybe I'm wrong right off the bat. You're not going to rage. Maybe. Maybe I feel Murray should have seen this one. Maybe. Maybe.

[00:11:34] For the first 30 minutes of this, I was wondering if this was an episode of Dawson Creek or maybe Degrassi Junior. No, sorry. Senior high. Next generation. Now. Oh, next generation. What's the one you said? That's the one with Drake in it. What's the one that you said, Bryce, after I brought up Degrassi? No, no. If this is any Degrassi, it's Degrassi next revolution or something. Oh, Degrassi next generation. The worst of the Degrassi. Okay. That's the one with Drake in a wheelchair.

[00:12:04] Okay. Nice. There we go. I think Jay and Silent Bob show up at one point. They also did, and so does Alanis Morissette. They got all that star power and they still couldn't make a decent show. So yeah, that's what this kind of reminded me of. The third thing is that Joey and Caitlin were still there. All right. You know what? Were they still a thing? They were still a thing. Nice. I've never seen an episode of Degrassi in my entire life. So I don't know what happens. I've seen, I've seen, I've never seen a whole episode, but I've seen pieces. Oh, okay.

[00:12:33] Our buddy, so that's going to kidnap you and make you watch them all. Well, if he, he knows he's a bigger fan than I am. We are, we are called film rage. That's what I will say. So, okay. So I had my usual $20 in $1 bills when I went into this film. Yes. You know, the stack that every time something annoying or stupid or boring or all of the above, I would re I would remove a dollar bill.

[00:12:58] Well, 30 minutes in and I pretty much only had like maybe three singles left until we get to prison. So good. And then the local drunk says, as we've already said, you're right. You're dead. Never fuck with friend. Oh, yes. And then I laughed and I laughed too. Yeah. I think we laughed. We laughed quite a while.

[00:13:25] That we laughed out loud that there were two other people in the theater. They weren't laughing. They were still not really. Probably still not. They're like, no, sorry. That's not enough for us to enjoy this. That's it. And then I'm also reminded that everyone the clown kills up until the point when they went into prison, when he walks away, his big floppy shoes squeak, which also made me laugh. Oh, every time.

[00:13:54] Every time it would happen. I would go tee hee. His shoes are squeaking. He's not sneaking up on anybody. Apparently. Well, he's apparently they weren't squeaking before he kills, but after he turns on the Because he stepped in blood. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. I wasn't questioning this. Doesn't matter, Murray. So, but everything. Looking for some logic here. Oh, stop. Stop. Just stop right now. But everything in this, in regards to the teenagers, including the dialogue, the story, and in

[00:14:23] fact, that everything is predictable and annoying was making me throw loonies faster than when me and Murr go to the strippers in Vegas. But the squeaky shoes and the kills were so cute and funny. Unfortunately. Yeah. They are so far and few between the horrible. And I, when I say horrible, I mean horrible story that is unwinding.

[00:14:49] Plus on top of it, again, we get a bunch of characters that are all completely unlikable. So remember bodies, bodies, bodies, how we were like, we were like, we were like, how come they put movies out that every single person is so unlikable and you want to want them all to die. You can't root for anybody. So I turned to Bryce during this movie as an old person would and said, who are we supposed to be rooting for? The clowns. The clowns. Exactly. And for us, it was the clowns. It was friendo. Friends.

[00:15:19] Friendo. And when I say clowns, I mean clowns, Murray. Yeah. There was multiple. That's right. Clowns. And most of them. Just like screen. They ain't in a cornfield. Oh, they're. Which I am so pro corn in or sorry, clown in a cornfield. I mean, this was what the title of the story was. I was expecting to see clown, not clowns in a cornfield. Yes.

[00:15:48] And as Bryce has already alluded, they had a premise that was golden. And when I say golden, I mean golden syrup, corn syrup that you could have had a motherfucking clown in a motherfucking cornfield for 30 to 90 solid minutes. But instead we got another unlikable scream like script where the only people I was rooting for was the clowns. Sheldon the clowns.

[00:16:15] By the end, I had $2 left on the table and a cornfield full of rage. And I have a couple of things to unpack. What the fuck was this going on? Why are they making these movies with no one that's likable? I don't know. Like even our lead Marie, I guess she's the final girl or something. Yeah. She was so unlikable. And like in the middle of the movie, like things are moving so slow that you're like we should have been falling asleep.

[00:16:45] And there's a scene where she's like, you know what we're going to do right now? I'm going to go fuck this dude in the middle of nowhere where you're like, what? Like what is happening right now? Shit. There was no there's no sexuality happening in this. And all of a sudden, she's like, you know what? Why don't you come with me so I can fuck you in the barn? They've known each other for 12 hours and she had a boyfriend. So I'm like, what? Like just what? Hmm. Yeah. And you get on the reason why I don't like horror movies anymore because they're all like that. Well, that's not true.

[00:17:15] Not all true. Not true. Small sister. Not true. But how boring was this? Screamboat was nothing like that. How boring was this film? It was just really boring and there's no excuse to have a premise of clown in a cornfield to have a boring movie. I mean, there were some flashes because, you know, the kills were genuinely good for the most part. They were good kills. And, but it's just, it, there was just so much awfulness between every kill.

[00:17:43] Like it's, there was no, I don't understand. Nothing you could enjoy. How, how did the guy that had such punchy dialogue and just rapid fire laughs in Tucker versus Dale, how did that same guy make this? Like, I don't get it. But what has he done between those two films? Cause maybe that's, I don't know that he, I don't know that he hasn't worked. And then he was just like, you know what? I better try and make something. The sad thing is, this is probably going to make its money back.

[00:18:11] The budget of this might've been five bucks. I think it was more than five bucks. I don't know how much they spent on the corn syrup. Well, as much. All I know is there was only four of us there there, Jim. Yeah. And also I bet you all four of us raged about this. Well, I guarantee you. I know two of us did. 375 people went to see it at Cuff. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm anxious to know what they all thought about it. No kidding. Cause this was not good. No, it was pretty bad. That's too bad.

[00:18:45] Ray, do you want to talk about this one? I thought you might say that. Nice. I love it when everybody comes prepared. Prepared. Uh, fight or flight, or as I'm fond of calling it, bullet train on a plane. Yep. Meets John wick. Cause it's people who made John wick also made this. So yeah, the basics really John wicky though. No, but it was people who made John wick. So, you know, ramped up action. The producers. Let's not, let's not over. I'm not talking about director.

[00:19:15] I'm talking about producers make a lot of stuff. They made it happen. Yeah. Uh, okay. So to Murray's point, can we talk about bloom house and a 24? I mean, that's a perfectly good example. That's a huge difference. Well, bloom house producing something means it's going to be horrible. And a 24 producing something means it's going to be good. Probably. Right. So used to be 100%. There you go. Now they're at about. Yeah. They're about 99%. Now they're not at 99. I'll talk about that. Pretty close. They make a lot of movies. Uh, basic story.

[00:19:45] They're making a lot now. Josh Hartnett plays this, I don't know, drunken ass. He's playing Brad Pitt from Bulletproof. Exactly. That's what, don't, don't sip on my lip. Brad Pitt light. I'm getting to that. Don't have fun. I'm just doing the intro yet. Uh, yeah. So basically he's hiding out cause apparently everybody wants him dead or something. And then his old boss calls him in to help track down this person on a plane. And then they get on the plane and everybody on the plane is pretty much a killer.

[00:20:14] Like I think there's maybe what? 10 passengers who weren't trying to kill them. Like maybe, I don't know. Uh, yeah, that's was basically the plot for the whole movie. Them on the plane trying to get killed. Yeah. Um, motherfucking killers on a motherfucking plane. That's right. Uh, yeah. Uh, again, I, I had a choice of the five movies. I only see one on the Tuesday. So I chose this one cause it was playing in my local cinema. The other one, other four were not. There you go.

[00:20:42] It means I had to travel across the city, which I'm not fond of doing. Exactly. West Hills isn't that far. Yeah. Well, I would have gone to market mall, but again, I want to go that far. So I went to, to Crowley. He's got no money. That's right. I had no money. I can afford one. So I went to this one. Um, anyway, this stars Josh Hutton, who is becoming quickly the B list Brad Pitt. Yeah. I think baby. Uh, that's right. It was just another movie. Yeah. I had a choice. And since I don't like horror movies, making strides and I had no interest in seeing the

[00:21:12] controversial rust that made the choice easy. Like bullet train. This movie was insane. Just when I thought the action couldn't get any wilder, the dude whips out a chainsaw on an airplane. That's right. Nevermind. How all those bad guys got guns onto a plane through security. They showed how that happened. I don't know. Did I miss that part? Must've. You must've. Cause it was very clear how they got them on the plane. How the hell does a chainsaw get through metal detectors?

[00:21:41] Same way anything goes in a cargo hold. Whatever the reason I was glad to see it. Besides the dreamy Josh Hartn playing a drunken version of John Wick. He is pretty dreamy. We have the plucky Charithra Chandra. Probably screwed that up. Oh, you did pretty good. Sounds good to me. Who plays the secret ghost that everybody is hunting. The ghost. The ghost. The ghost. The ghost. Yeah, they spoil it pretty early. Yeah, they do.

[00:22:08] For somebody that tiny, she kicks some serious ass and punches a few dicks. She does. Yeah. Then there's the trio of the white Lotus and her twin assassins. They were pretty good. Who do some ass kicking too. Thank Kill Bill's sisters. Kill Bill's sisters. Yeah. Except for triplets. Katie Sackhoff, who's been in like everything sci-fi that there ever was, plays the head cheese.

[00:22:35] As much as I enjoyed the action, I did not enjoy the shaky cam footage. What? Every time there was an action scene, it was jumping up and down. Yes. It was making me nauseous. Like, you don't have to take me into the fight scene. I just want to see it from no further back. Sounds like this movie should have been showing you in D-Box. But it was... Yeah, maybe. But it was all enclosed in a plane, Murray. Yeah, but still... So you can't pull back. But the guy in the steady can, this is not jumping up and down. Like... If you were on D-Box, maybe it wouldn't have looked so shaky. Maybe.

[00:23:04] But it was making me nauseous. Just realign your spine. Anyway, still, killing bad guys with a chainsaw makes it all better. All right. I haven't enjoyed a chainsaw kill that much since Ash. Nice. This film reminded me a lot of Bullet Train, which... How could it not? Is a much better film. Did I like it enough to make it a Mondo? Did you? No. Oh. It was a high... Here's a prediction.

[00:23:30] It was a high man, but the predictable storyline and the bad guy that I basically saw coming five minutes into the movie. Yep. Nice. Like, oh, big surprise. Oh, he was actually the... Hey, hey, hey, don't spoil it. Yeah, we've already given enough spoilers for this. Whatever. It was not a Mondo make. So yeah, he was just a man. All right. But it was still fun. Okay.

[00:23:55] Well, this may be a little repetitive from all of us tonight, but see Bullet Train on a plane. I bet you I mentioned Bullet Train too. But I bet you you do. But with pacing that isn't as good, comedy that isn't as funny, and way too much backstory and dialogue that we didn't get from Bullet Train. That's right. Right. The action and the murder and gore were all fun and unique, and Josh Hartnett and his cohort,

[00:24:23] Charithra Chandra, had great, and I mean great, chemistry. They were fun together, as was this film. I have a feeling she'd be fun with almost anybody. I think so. She's kind of awesome. I want to see her in everything now. You know who she'd make a really good buddy movie with? Her and Awkwafina. Oh, God. Wouldn't that be the greatest? That would be so good. Throwing Wanda Sykes in there? Oh, yeah. I don't know what Wanda Sykes would be doing, but just throw her in somewhere. Throw her in there as part of the mix. She could be the boss. Stir it up. She could be the boss. There you go.

[00:24:53] Roll your dice and bam! Love it! Perfect movie. Put him in with a clown in a cornfield, I'm there. Sorry. But this also was a little heavy handed and talky talky, and needed to move this along faster and get more rapid fire. I wasn't that. I didn't think that. Like Bullet Train did. Yeah, I guess. So it was fun and funny and gory. And the music was awesome. The music was, I didn't mention that. But yeah, the music was awesome. And super well placed.

[00:25:22] But not as good as Brad Pitt and Bullet Train. Yeah, that music was awesome too. It was just a notch below in every way, wasn't it? So it was a Josh and Sharithra, man. And now we are completely set up for a TV series or a part two. Well, yeah, apparently they're not done. Yeah. Well, apparently not. So to be honest, at times it kind of did feel like a plot of a TV series. I'm not going to lie. But with way more blood, disembowelments and limb severing.

[00:25:53] But yeah, it's a man. And I have a couple of unpackings. It was a good heart to heart or magnum. It wasn't heart to heart. They weren't dating. Well, they should have been. No. He was 40. She was 25. Let's not. That's the difference. Who cares? He is a guy. So that is kind of a thing. All right. So let's talk about Bullet Train life. Rinse and repeat. Yeah. Let's face it. Fight or flight is a Bullet Train ripoff.

[00:26:21] It's a sort of lower budget version of Bullet Train, but on a plane. And yet it is still entertaining. And Joss Hartnett is becoming a welcome sight these days. I thought his career may be done, but with Christopher Nolan and M. Night Shyamalan recently casting him. Yep. Perhaps he has a second act in store for us. In this, he shows that he is also believable as an action star.

[00:26:47] Hartnett plays Lucas, an ex-mercenary who seems to have a bit of a drinking problem. That ends up being a bit of an advantage later in the film because, you know, in Lucas's words, you can't pickle a pickle. It's true. I've tried. The film is about Lucas getting his life back after being blacklisted after a job that went bad. All he has to do is bring in a passenger that is on the plane into custody.

[00:27:17] Problem is, there are dozens of mercenaries on the plane who are trying to kill said passenger as well as Lucas. So from here we get action sequence after action sequence, occasionally interrupted by some information dumps, but mostly we get bloody action. And I mean bloody. This film was by no means perfect. It was, however, a ton of fun. This was so much fun. It was fun. It was meh. Yeah. Because it was bullet train light. That's right.

[00:27:47] Bullet train light. I think we've all established that. So can we please talk about the best kill scene in the entire film? Which was a... Which is the fireworks lady with the pickaxe in the head. Oh, fireworks lady. When he's like high as a kite. Yeah. I mean this... Okay. He's high as a kite and like fireworks are coming out. Brrrr. And then all of a sudden we see in reality what's actually coming out of her. Brrrr. Is that the one with the sparkly eyes? Yeah.

[00:28:16] She stands and she's a badass the whole movie. You think something serious is going to go down. She stands up, says there are two lines and boom. Brrrr. It's just like... That's beautiful. I love women. Doesn't even get to throw a punch. Bada boom. And the look on the lady beside her's face when she's covered in fireworks. Brrrr. I know you've already mentioned it Murray, but that chainsaw scene. The chainsaw. It's just like... If that wasn't right out of Evil Dead, I don't know what it was. Oh, it totally was. It was like...

[00:28:44] If he would have had no arm and a hand, it would have been just like... No, the fact that he was high the whole time. Like I kept waiting for like unicorns to show up in his absorbed hallucinations, but they never did. Well, the fireworks was pretty close. Yeah. No, it was a lot of fun. But yeah, the story had some problems. I think this is... This is definitely one people should see and see. Oh, absolutely. It's a fun movie. I kind of wish it was... Bring the kiddies. Yeah, bring the kiddies. Bring the six year olds. Like the one horror movie we saw the other week. Yeah.

[00:29:14] They might enjoy this one. They brought a six year old. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So you're going to go? All right. Yeah, sure. Whatever. This is like... This is weird to me. Yeah. This one's not going to be a very long review. I'll warn you. So it's... This is the one I think we're going to disagree on. All right. All right. So Rust. This film is competently made.

[00:29:41] The story is okay as a young boy is on the run after being sentenced to death. Oh, no. After being convicted of murder. He is aided by his estranged grandfather, Harlan Rust, played by... The one and only... Alec Baldwin. Now, Harlan Rust is a rugged old gunfighter with a reputation throughout the land. He is a man to be feared. And I am sorry, but Alec Baldwin is nowhere near good enough an actor to pull that off. Not anymore.

[00:30:10] When he went into his many speeches designed to show that he is a no-nonsense tough old bastard, I found myself giggling. At one point, the boy asks Harlan, who are you? Harlan delivers this line here. This ain't no game, boy. I say we ride, we ride. I say we eat, we eat. I say we sleep, we sleep.

[00:30:38] That's who I am. I'm sure there are many actors that can deliver that line convincingly, but not Baldwin. For that reason, and that reason alone, this whole movie had no chance. The casting of one character sunk the entire project. I cannot buy Alec Baldwin as this tough old bastard gunfighter. Like, it's absolute nonsense.

[00:31:07] He was not convincing in any line he delivered in the whole thing. I just, I was laughing at a movie that's not supposed to be funny. Because Alec Baldwin is ridiculous in this role. Rust is a rage on the back of Baldwin. This is the frickin' role you wanted to go down on? Like, what the hell's going on? Why would you even continue making this piece of crap after all that happened? Because it's not doing you anything.

[00:31:36] Because you can't play this guy! You should not have been in this movie! Somebody else in this movie? I maybe could have taken it seriously. But you are ridiculous, Alec Baldwin. You need to go back to frickin' doing imitations of Trump, playing some frickin' boardroom guy, going in like in Glengarry Glen Ross, giving the old frickin' brass ball speech. Yep. But you gotta not do this.

[00:32:05] This was, this was not awful. But Alec Baldwin made it awful. Rage! No kidding. Okay. And I just spit everywhere I'm so frickin' fired up here. Poor Charlie. I'm sure glad I got mouse poo in my mouth. Covered in spit. You guys missed the conversation before this. Yeah, let's not get into that. Bryce was, you know, using his mouth for inappropriate things. Okay, so, okay, so period piece western buddy film.

[00:32:34] Mm-hmm. Um, and I guess before I'm gonna preface this, I'm not gonna take anything away from what Bryce had to say. Because I agree, Alec Baldwin was not cast properly in this. But, personally, I never thought this would ever even come out with all the controversy over this film. Yeah, I'm surprised at it. But I guess, four years later, here we are. Very respectful final words at the end of the film for our unfortunate cinematographer.

[00:33:04] This is a film about a young man, maybe 13, who's caring for his family homestead in the mid-1800s, due to a series of tragedies that were bestowed upon his parents, followed by him accidentally killing a man, and then he is sentenced to death and is rescued by his estranged grandfather. So, they can try and escape to Mexico. So, there's the story. Mm-hmm. It's a western.

[00:33:30] For the most part, we are introduced to a plethora of bounty hunters and a lawman who are going to capture and bring him and his grandpa to justice. The story is pretty much every western. Bad guys getting chased by good guys, good guys getting chased by bad guys, sort of.

[00:33:54] Except in this case, I did find it a little interesting that we had a kid who was going to hang and what his story was. So, I actually thought the story and the kid was an interesting spin on a western. Also, this is beautifully, and when I say beautifully shot, I mean beautifully shot in New Mexico. But for the most part, it takes place in Wyoming. The characters were all pretty creatively crafted and were, in my opinion, very well developed.

[00:34:23] What was a problem though, was a lot of dialogue and acting from one character in particular, and some of the peripheral cast, and the delivery of lines by some, and some of the editing, and how, although, and I'm putting this in heavy quotes, Rust is supposed to be this great man that cannot be, and I'm putting this in heavy quotes, gotten. He does a lot of stupid things, plus movie western magic of people doing shootouts.

[00:34:52] Please just make the shootouts realistic already. Like, I mean, I think the problem we had here was that because of the death that happens in this film, the editing on this was kind of failed. It's clapped together, yeah. Yeah, I think the editing was also a bit of a downfall on this. I found the kid aspect of this made it way more interesting, and had me connected to this and him. And at no point, and I say through this entire movie, and this is rare when I talk about westerns, was I bored in this film.

[00:35:21] So I guess, as a western, it's probably pretty typical for a western. And there was a ton of things that could have bothered me. But the time I got to the end, I didn't hate this movie. I agree with Bryce, I hated Alec Baldwin's acting. And I think that the rest, most of the cast did a pretty great job. So for me, it was a very low man. I couldn't hate it, because at the end, I thought the kid's story was a good story. And that's the problem I had, is because this actually was a good story, and it was well cast.

[00:35:51] And that one bounty hunter was great. You know, the scene with him, and when he's trying to get the information from that one lady with the kid. That was like, that scene right there was awesome. Oh, totally. There was like so much good in there. And then I'd get to Alec Baldwin, and I'd get angry. And then I'd laugh. And then it would take me out of the movie completely. And I can't get around that. Oh, I- Because there was so much, there was so much good in this movie.

[00:36:21] There really was. Yep. But Alec Baldwin cast as this fricking grizzle gunfighter is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. You might as well have put the fricking clown from Clown in a Cornfield in the role. It would have had the same effect. In fact, he would have been better because it would have been interesting. Well, it might have made us laugh a little more in both of them. What if there was a crossover? It was like Rust in a cornfield with a clown. But, okay, so let's talk about this. All right.

[00:36:49] Let's talk about Will Patton in this role. Yeah. Why not? Could you imagine? Yes. And I would have enjoyed this movie had, I could almost put anybody in it. No, but like when you see the character who could play this role. Will Patton would have been perfect. You know, there's a number of guys that would have been really, really good in this role. There's a lot of guys that wouldn't have been great in this role, but at least wouldn't have sunk the project.

[00:37:15] Like even if they would have stuck some, somebody that I, that I have just can't stand these days. Liam Neeson. Let's say they stuck Liam Neeson in this role. I at least could have bought him. Yeah. You know, I could have bought. Cause he plays the grizzled old guy pretty good. And he wasn't a Western. But Alec Baldwin, I'm sorry. You're not a good enough actor for this role. Well, at least he's not. To pull this role off. Yeah. No, you're not a bad actor. I'm not saying that. Well, but you're not a good enough actor to pull this role off.

[00:37:44] Well, and I think cause so. Yes. I'm not going to disagree with you, but what I'm going to say is I think Alec Baldwin and you kind of already said it is good at certain certain things I've got. And I absolutely agree. And this, but he's just not, shouldn't have been in this like this. Literally the casting of him sunk this movie for me. I'm watching the movie and I'm like, I should be enjoying this. Cause this actually, this is for, I'm not a big duster fan. Yeah.

[00:38:10] But for a duster, this was, this was pretty good until I had to watch Alec Baldwin again. Be an all Alec Baldwin. It's like, dude, you cannot deliver these lines. Like I am giggling right now. And that's, it's taking me out of everything. And I'm, and then I giggle and then you think, okay, he's having a good time. But as soon as I'd start giggling, I get angry because that's not what this should be doing. Why am I giggling? This movie deserves better.

[00:38:40] It did. Anyways, I'm getting, I'm getting a headache. I'm screaming so much about this movie. I am kind of excited about that. So this was the movie I thought we would differ on. And we do. Only because I knew that you'd be bothered by Alec Baldwin. I was so bothered. And for me, I would just, I just, I just get him out of there. Cause I could have watched this on silent. It was so beautiful. So beautifully shot. There was so much good. I'm not like all the stuff that you're saying that was beautiful and all the stuff.

[00:39:08] And there are scenes in this that are, they're fantastic, but it, it, I just can't get around the one. And it's, it's not like it's a bit role. It's not like it's something like, I'm like, uh, he's in there for like 70% of this movie. A lot of this movie. That's 70% of, uh, and 30% of like, Ooh, that's really good. And that adds up to a rage. Cause I was, and, and be, and not only that, like it wasn't bad. It was so bad that the, he was so bad.

[00:39:37] Like I'm as I, I'm not going to repeat myself over and over it, but I literally, I was giggling at every line he was delivering. And then I was getting angry every time afterwards. Cause it's like, I shouldn't be giggling. This movie deserves better. Nice. All right then. Okay. So you know what? We're going to go from there to talking about something. I am pretty sure we're going to agree on probably it's called sharp corner. You know what?

[00:40:06] I just realized I've seen this movie like two years ago. What? I don't know if it was called what it's called, but it was Ben Foster. I remember. Yeah. The corner where all the accidents happen. And yeah, I remember that storyline. There you go. Cause I previewed it for SIF, which they didn't pick it. Oh, but it got released eventually, but it did. Yeah. So I actually, this last weekend, I actually have seen this. All right. I think I enjoyed it. Okay.

[00:40:31] So a couple and their young son by a house that's on a, and I'm putting this in heavy quotes, sharp corner. It's on a sharp corner of a road. Is there a sign? There is a sign. Then it's their own fault when something happens. Ah, the sign's a little obscure. Yeah. Until, until later, but later he, he rectifies that. That's right. And then he does something else. Yes.

[00:40:55] So where it appears that the husband is maybe not completely all together, even from our first introduction to him, the impression is that he is not completely his self. He's kind of failing at his job and maybe suffering from something we still don't know yet. He's got issues. Yeah. It's pretty evident. The first night they move in while they are having sex on the living room floor, the

[00:41:21] first accident happens as a young man crashes his car into their front yard tree where the tire goes through their front window, adding a little, and I want to put spice, maybe to their lovemaking. Maybe. Maybe. I mean, nothing better than a giant tire up your ass and a bunch of sharded glass. I think he was pretty much finished when the tire was. Wasn't the movie crash all about having sex? Yeah, maybe, but I bet you it helps. It certainly helps. Yeah.

[00:41:46] So this starts our lead dad played by Ben Foster on a path of weirdo-ness, creepiness, and kind of all around uncomfortable feelings you get from him. Anytime he's on screen, he starts to become obsessed with things that are happening on his front lawn. And by things, I mean more accidents. He takes first aid and wants to buy a CPR doll to practice on and starts failing even more

[00:42:14] at work and getting more and more creepy. The story really is a slow, slow burn. And through Josh's, and this is Ben Foster's decline, through his obsession, which to be honest, we really have no clue what put him on this path. But to be honest, I didn't care at this point because his character is so calmly drawing us into

[00:42:39] his madness, especially when his obsession slowly starts to become mine as well. I want to see the crashes both in his yard and online where he starts watching them. And when not enough is happening in his front yard and don't forget his death or practicing his CPR on his dummy obsession. God damn it! God damn it! Just watching his weird, quirky essence of a man on screen for two hours made me uneasy and

[00:43:09] my skin crawled to the point that I almost felt itchy. He is like the most calmly punch in the face type person I think I have ever seen in a movie in my entirety. His character gave me, and when I say a huge film boner, I mean a huge film boner. And at the same time as having this giant film boner, I wanted to cut my dick with razor blades.

[00:43:33] I was so obsessed with this character, probably as obsessed as this character was with sharp corners. Mmm. So much that I couldn't give this anything but a huge mondo. I absolutely love this character. I haven't seen anything as good of this in character as we saw with Cillian Murphy from his hanging out with the nuns. Hanging out with the nuns. I think that's what it was called. I think it was called hanging out with the nuns.

[00:44:03] Hanging out with the nuns in Ireland. Some small things or something like this? Small little things or something? Yeah, the, the, the, yeah, small, small things like, no, I don't know. I think it's small little things. Anyway, Bryce, can you believe this is the first feature from this director? Why not? Cause it's so well crafted. Um, so yeah, get ready for a lot of repetition. Um, cause I'm going to say a lot of stuff that you already said there. What?

[00:44:28] So this is a story of a couple with a son who moved to the country into a home they picked up for a really good price. And it does not take long to find out why as a tire smashes through their living room window on their first night in the house. It turns out they live on the corner of a road that is more than a little dangerous as car crashes are a common occurrence. Ben Foster plays the dad, Josh.

[00:44:50] And from this point forward goes on a fascinating journey as he becomes obsessed with the crashes and, and those involved. He crashes a funeral of one of the victims. He stalks them online after their passing. And then he starts to train in preparation for the next crash. He takes a CPR course, buys his own CPR dummy to practice on whenever he has a chance, all while trying to keep all of this from his wife.

[00:45:20] She wants to move on from all this to the point that she just might want to sell that house. His son is also traumatized by the, by these occurrences as he recreates one of the crime scenes with his toys. Um, which, uh, you know, dad cleverly or not so cleverly for whatever reason keeps from the therapist who literally says, you know, we see like sometimes they'll recreate these.

[00:45:50] These things, if it's really disturbing them. And he's like, Oh yeah, no, that's interesting. When he knows that his son just did that. He sure does. But this film is mostly about Josh's journey. His obsession to be the hero is something that is hard to watch and impossible to turn away from. We watch as he sacrifices his family for the opportunity to be said hero.

[00:46:14] This is an expertly made film that invites you into Josh's world as uncomfortable as that may be. I would also like to mention the music in this as it punches home the emotions of every scene it is featured in. Steven McKeon score is brilliant. I loved every frame of this film. It's Mondo. This was such a good movie. I just loved it. My God, where did this come from?

[00:46:43] And how, why did it take two years? It took two years. Yeah. No, I remember watching it two years ago. I, I don't think I modeled it, but I definitely liked it enough that I thought it should be in the festival. But yeah, this was, this was an amazing film. This was, this was truly an amazing film. And Ben Foster, my God, he does good work. He's always good. He does. Can we say though, like this for Jason Buxton to make his first feature film with this out of the gate? Yeah. Like what is in the water in the East coast? Yeah. The East coast is pumping out some good stuff.

[00:47:12] Like we have seen two amazing, I mean, amazing films in the last year. Well, actually it was, um, was the King tide this last year? That was last year. Yeah. Like, uh, all I want to do is see Canadian films made on the East coast. Like that's all I want to see. Yes. And I'll start a Canadian. All thanks to Isla. Yeah. Like what? All thanks to Isla, but I want to know what he's doing next. All right. Hope, hope it's something. I know.

[00:47:41] I'm, I'm not seeing anything particular though. So Jason Buxton, please get your funding so we can see more of your movies. Yes. All I want to see now. All right. So, uh, do you want to talk about shadow force or are you going to leave this to me? Uh, well, I can talk about it cause this, this'll, this'll take even less than roost. Y'all ready for this?

[00:48:11] But Alec Baldwin wasn't in this movie. That's true. He wasn't. All right. Shadow force. A couple of skilled assassins want to leave their shadowy black ops organization, but said organization will not let them out. How original this movie sucks. Kerry Washington and Omar Sy have zero chemistry and are not even a little believable as a couple. We also get an annoying kid in this that torpedoes every scene he is in.

[00:48:37] We also get a supporting cast that is completely wasted in divine joy. Randolph method, man, and Mark strong. Every character is poorly written. The dialogue is eye rollingly awful and the action sequences are poorly executed and unbelievable. This was bad. Real bad. No, this is a rage.

[00:49:01] Like I don't, I could sit here and ad nauseum talk about all sorts of crap in this forever, but I'm going to leave that to you, Jim, because I just, I don't even want to talk about this movie. It was so bad. Like it, it was, go ahead. Okay. So if you think five-year-olds saying Wu Tang clan ain't nothing to fuck with, then this movie may be for you.

[00:49:25] And when I say that the divine, divine joy Randolph, Ruud Randolph was in this, I was actually thinking this can't be bad. She has great taste in films. She's an Oscar winning actress. She would only pick good films and I love her so much.

[00:49:49] Oh, before I go any further, Murray, what do you look for in a spy thriller action film? Is it action? Uh, yeah. Action, intrigue. Okay. What about maybe spy stuff? Spy stuff is really important. Okay. Yeah. Was there none of that? Uh, in, in my case, which happens a lot in this, uh, it's watching a six year old sing Lionel Richie songs. Nice.

[00:50:18] Is that something you think you might like? Was it hello? In a spy. There was every, if you can imagine every Lionel Richie song. I don't know them all. He sang, I think he sang every single one. So when I go to an action film, action spy thriller, I want to see five year olds or six, you know, give or take a year. Singing Lionel Richie songs, which he would literally sing every, the entire song. Every scene. Like they, they filled this with. Jim, Jim, Jim, I don't believe you. It's.

[00:50:46] I don't think that's what you want from an action film. It's 100% what we got in this. I know it is, but I don't think that's what you're looking for. I don't understand the whole premise of this film. And I don't know if there is a film, uh, if this is action or a, a toddler karaoke film,

[00:51:07] um, that I have like, I had to ask as this was playing, I must, I've never been in a movie where I've turned to Bryce as many times and said, what is actually going on right now? I thought you'd said that once I said it at least 50 times in this movie. I'm. Yeah, you did. And not always. I don't know. Cause not always.

[00:51:32] Cause I didn't know, but by the, because the decisions, the characters, the directing was putting us through. It's like, why they are spies that are in love and they get pregnant and have a kid turn on their team for some reason. And so they go into hiding. Well, the dad goes into hiding. The mom is deciding she's going to go kill everyone. Well, she doesn't kill anyone. No, no. So she's gone. No, not at that point. At that point. She hadn't killed anybody.

[00:52:00] It was the one guy for sure. Well, okay. So she's been gone five years and we don't know. She must've killed some of them, but that's the thing. They didn't touch upon it. No, but they talked about like one guy. Yeah. And she's gone for five years, but then a whole bunch of stuff. So at that point, what is there like eight of them? There's like, so it's going to take like 45 years for her to get through. So then apparently, so then she'll be like 70 when she reunites with her family. Was that the plan? I think that, you know what? That's the plan.

[00:52:30] Like I, I, the whole premise of this story, there's just a whole bunch of stuff that doesn't make any sense. Um, it's also annoying and for the most part, unrealistic and it's unbelievable, especially with the two leads and their whole relationship. I'm not sure if this is a romance or a family road trip movie or what it was, but suffice to say, it seemed like it was another Netflix quality film. If you know what I'm saying, when I say that.

[00:52:55] Um, I honestly thought this, I thought for sure this was like a straight to streaming type deal. Like that, this is a type of movie that if you're going to make it, you don't expect it to play in the theaters. Oh no. 100%. Like when I say boring, like I cannot imagine a more boring film than this. And, and we've seen a lot of boring movies. Like, um, we already talked about one today. This was like clown in a cornfield. Clown in a cornfield was awesome compared to this. There wasn't one thing in this movie that I said, you know what?

[00:53:25] That was two and a half minutes of pure joy. It was, there was a two hours of solid boredom followed by Lionel Richie. So bad. It's just, this is horrible. It was not. Whatever the opposite of movie magic is. That's what this, oh yeah. It's called movie rage. This movie was so horrible. It was not good. I don't even get it. Like I don't, I literally don't get what is happening. There's a scene Marie. So they're driving and they're being chased.

[00:53:55] Um, and they've built this car. Supposedly she has this car that stores the kid. Apparently for this reason that if they're ever being chased, which she's, you know, who, she wasn't planning on seeing her spouse and the kid ever again, supposedly. Well, no, she was. Was she? Apparently things were going slowly though. Apparently super slowly. So they're being chased. Everyone's still alive. They're being chased. And then they go flying off a cliff. And when I say flying, they're flying, they're rolling around.

[00:54:25] Um, and he's locked inside the car, the kid and the two of them. And, and then the, it goes into the ocean and it sinks to the bottom. And then the bad guys got to go and find them. And literally they're sitting off on the side, perfectly dry. And you're like, um, they're like saying, Oh, they're going to try and find us. Blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, at what point in that did they get out of the car going, careening down a cliff? Like, I was just like, what? Yeah.

[00:54:53] Like there was so much editing problems with this. It was just like, I think there was another seven hours of this. And they were like, you know what? Let's put the least amount of boring in this movie. Cause I can't imagine what the other seven hours was like. It was awful. It was not a good one. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. Okay. Oh, I'm glad I missed that one too. Cause it looks stupid. You are so glad you picked the right movie this week.

[00:55:23] Apparently out of the five. But you also said you should sharp, saw sharp corners. Are you? But it was a while ago. I forgot. Cause it was two years ago. Yeah. But yeah, I saw the trailer. It didn't mad. Didn't don't didn't click anything. But then when I read the description, I'm like, wait a minute. I saw it. Wait a cotton picking minutes. And yeah, it was literally like, it was two years ago. Cause it wasn't last year. It was like a year before. Yeah. I never got picked for the festival, but yeah, I liked it. It was good.

[00:55:46] But anyway, well, despite the fact it's not on the agenda, I do have a minute. What? I thought I put it on. No, you did not. As I just noticed like, well, if I don't know that, I would just go. I wouldn't even bother. You're right. It's not on there. What was I thinking? Okay. Well, since I only saw one movie in the theaters this week and it didn't involve killer clowns or people killed on movie sets. Mm-hmm.

[00:56:15] It was about killers on a plane. Or as I like to call it, bullet train on a plane. Here then are some other movies about action on a flying bus. What? Hint, one of them might involve mother effing snakes. Nice. Nice. Okay. We got Air Force One starring Harrison Ford as the president of the United States. Yes. The president we all need, not the one that we have currently.

[00:56:43] Uh, it was in this adrenaline pumping action film where he must save his family and the country from terrorists who have hijacked the Air Force One. Gary Oldman with his bad Russian accent as the bad guy. Get off my plane. Pretty much says it all. Then we have airplane. Exclamation mark. Considered one of the funniest movies ever, it was a parody of disaster films with nonstop

[00:57:12] jokes and visual gags from start to finish. And we have Sully, which was referenced in Fighter Flight. And based on a true story, Tom Hanks stars as Sully, an American airline pilot who successfully landed a disabled passenger plane on the Hudson River, saving all the passengers. I never saw it, but I'm sure Hanks was awesome. Then we got, and we have Airport. Before there was airplane, there was the more serious airport and its sequel.

[00:57:42] Yes. This disaster movie from 1970 follows multiple storylines involving the airport staff, passengers and crew during a snowstorm that threatens to ground flights. Die Hard 2. Duh. Definitely the most Christmassy of the Die Hard's, because it was snowing. Okay. John McClain is back, taking place at an airport during Christmas time with terrorists

[00:58:10] attempting to take control of the planes in midair and crash them. Of course he saves the day. Of course he does. But I thought it was the better of the two personally. Executive Decision. What? This action-packed thriller stars Kurt Russell, Halle Berry and John Lacuizamo. It's not thrilling. An elite team led by Kurt Russell must secretly board a hijacked passenger plane and stop terrorists for unleashing nerve gas on U.S. soil.

[00:58:40] Nice. And we have Con Air. Con Air, baby! Come on, you know this movie was going to be on the list. Of course. It's a Nick Cage movie. That's right. And Steve Buscemi movie. Plus John Malkovich, Steve Buscemi and Machete. Machete! 12 year old Bryce loved it. That's right. 50 year old Bryce hates it. Well, that's because 50 year old Bryce is a poopy head. That is, Bryce is a poopy head. Actually, I think it came out after I was 12, but not much after.

[00:59:07] Nick Cage stars as a recently paroled ex-army ranger who must thwart a group of dangerous criminals who have taken over a prisoner transport. Spoiler alert, Nick Cage saves the day. And so does John Cusack. Yes. Memphis Belle. As I mentioned before, I don't really like movies about war. This is one of the exceptions. It tells the true story of a B-17 bomber crew's last mission in World War II as they attempt to complete their 25th bombing.

[00:59:38] This is Matthew Modine, isn't it? Matthew Modine. B-17 bomber. And if they complete 25, they get to go home. So this is their last mission and is the most dangerous one. It was brilliant ensemble cast of Matthew Modine, Eric Stoltz, David Strathairn, John Lithgow, and Harry Connick Jr. B-17 bomber was the first game for the Intellivoice. Sure. From Intellivision when they had the Intellivoice. Now who's old? Facts you may not know.

[01:00:06] It features incredible aerial combat sequences and shows the real stories behind the heroic World War II battles. Spirit of St. Louis. How many of these are you going to list? Every single one that's ever made? No, there was like 30. I cut it down. I hope you cut it down. I did. Okay, Spirit of St. Louis. The Merman Minute. Hey, because turn out it wasn't even scheduled. I can talk as long as I want. Okay, I haven't seen this one, but Jimmy Stewart as Charles Lindbergh. Nice.

[01:00:35] This biopic about his non- Wait, I thought this was action films on planes. No, well not all of them. Oh, it's just movies about planes? Stuff on planes. Okay. Flight Plan. This suspenseful thriller stars Jodie Foster as a grieving widow who has to figure out what happened to her vanished daughter on board an airplane mid-flight. Okay, almost done. In the so-so category, we have Passenger 57.

[01:01:04] Always bet on black. Remember when Wesley Snipes was a big movie star? Yes! This was a classic action flick. While Stallone and Schwarzenegger were out in the jungle, Snipes was on an air as an anti-terrorist consultant stuck on a plane with a bunch of terrorists. One of whom was Elizabeth Hurley. Sexy and dangerous. What is going on right now? Sexy and dangerous. Yeah, I'm talking about Snipes. About as cheesy as they come.

[01:01:34] Ninety minutes of action packed action. Don't worry folks. We have Tom Sizemore to back him up. And don't forget, always bet on black. Yeah, baby. Always bet on black. Finally, we have the hardest working man in Hollywood, Mr. Samuel Jackson, Snakes on a Plane. Motherfucking plane. He plays an FBI agent on a plane with venomous snakes that were released to kill a witness on their way to testify against a mob boss. A whole crate of snakes to kill one person?

[01:02:03] You want to make sure it's done right, Murray? Seems excessive. Shockingly, this movie didn't do that well at the box office. It's gold. Still got the action. Solid gold. Alright, if people kicking ass on an airplane is your thing, check out some of those. Or not, I'd rather travel by automobile. There you go. Alright. I'd rather travel by bike. Automobile. Automobile.

[01:02:25] My rage this week is that, could they not have released Clown in a Cornfield and Shadow Force the week that I was away?

[01:03:04] Mmm. That's my rage. We had five movies this week when I came back. I got to see them all when I could have seen Korean punchy punchy, but instead I had to watch Clown in a Cornfield. Sorry, Clowns outside of a motherfucking cornfield. We were looking forward to that. And Shadow Force when I could have seen that. That's my rage. I got to plan my holidays around the movie movies. That's right, you should check first.

[01:03:31] Well, I mean, you were probably looking forward to Clown in a Cornfield. We were. Until I saw it. Until you saw it. And that is my rage. I mean, it's pretty simple.

[01:03:57] I was really looking forward to Clown in a Cornfield and the disappointment that I felt after watching that movie is my rage this week. I genuinely thought after Tucker and Dale versus Evil that this movie was at least going to be, it's going to have some funny in it. There's going to, you know, there were some, there was some good kills, but I don't understand what happened with the rest of it. When the man made such a good movie prior, I was so looking forward to it.

[01:04:26] And I don't know that I've been more disappointed in the last couple of years in a movie. Um, I can't remember going into a movie having such, you know, high expectations and it just absolutely not even close to meeting them. It was awful. And that, that's, that's my rage. That's saying a lot. Cause you know, that's, that's one of those things when you think of like movie titles, right? Like even just go down our list this week. Mm-hmm.

[01:04:56] Clown in a Cornfield. If we didn't see it, we didn't know anything about it. We all wanted to see it because of the name itself. Yeah. It was a good concept. It has the great concept. Fight or flight. It had a good trailer too. The trailer, the trailer. The trailer was great. Yeah. All of the funny parts are in the trailer. Exactly. Yeah. Um, and then fight, fight or flight. Like you think of fight or flight, you're thinking to yourself, this is going to be a stupid movie. And it was. It's nothing that's going to draw, draw you to it. Rust. It's like, I have no clue what this is about. Yeah. Um, Sharp Corner.

[01:05:25] I don't think that's the best name to draw you to it. I've got no press. And Shadow Force. You just know that that was a made for Netflix film. Honestly, anything that is something force. Exactly. It's going to be awful. Anything with force or bloodlines in it. No, stop it. Anything with bloodlines. No. Bloodlines. It is like, it's one step away. Hellraiser bloodlines was fine. It was in space. Anything but, yes. It's like. Anything in space is good. Leprechaun in space. Excellent.

[01:05:55] Jason X. Yeah. You're wrong. Fast and Furious 9. Excellent. Did you not go to space? No, you like 10. You didn't like that. In a Pontiac Fiero. Not excellent. I don't remember. Point made. You don't remember.

[01:06:12] Last time on Rage or Dare. The boys passed a new rule where individually they will only dare each other, but when they

[01:06:38] are both on the docket, it's fair game to receive rage dares from all sources. Of course, they had to make this whole process more complicated and I'm still not sure what's going on. But anyway, Bryce quickly wished he didn't agree to this new format when he pulled the 2015 film Superfast from Jim's dare bag. This week, it's back to our little Jimbo to, I guess, just rage as there is no option to dare anymore. Okay.

[01:07:08] Let's check back in with Bryce and see if a parody of the Fast and the Furious franchise is better than the real thing itself. Who knows? Maybe they'll be a submarine or they'll go to space or how do you parody a franchise that's already a caricature of itself? Exactly. Good question. All right. So I was tasked with super fast, super fast. All right.

[01:07:36] So these type of spoofs will either land with their humor or they won't. I hated the naked gut, the naked guns. I hated the airplanes. I hated the scary movies and so many more of these types of movies. However, every now and then, you know, you get something like not another teen movie, which I know I probably shouldn't like, but the humor just landed for me for whatever reason.

[01:08:03] And now I can add super fast a list of films that I shouldn't like, but I laughed a lot. All right. So this is a hundred times more entertaining than all of the Fast and the Furious movies put together. Save one. The guy they got to play Toretto is perfect. He delivers his ridiculous lines just like Vin.

[01:08:31] Only his lines are intentionally funny. The guy they got to play the rocks character was perfect. And there are some great scenes in this. The scene where he introduces the gang to the guys he's getting to join them for the big job is priceless. This includes cool Asian guy, model turned actress and rapper cameo. And that is literally the names of these characters.

[01:08:57] If you watch that three minute scene and you don't laugh, then don't bother watching the rest of this movie. But if you're like me and you laughed your way through the entire scene, then give the rest of this film a chance. Don't get me wrong. This was not all gold, but there was enough gold to make it worthwhile. Super fast had a lot of super funny sequences. It was a super math. I couldn't believe like going in.

[01:09:26] I was so sure I was going to hate this. And there are some scenes in this that are funny. Oh, and well written like this. There's some well written stuff. And if you're going to parody a ridiculous move, like, I don't know how you can parody something that seems like it's parodying itself. But they did it and they did it cleverly. And as I say, the guy that got playing Vin Diesel was perfect. The guy that got playing Toretto, absolutely perfect.

[01:09:53] And he literally delivered lines just like Vin. And as I say, sometimes you laughed at Vin too. But this time you were supposed to laugh. And I did. I enjoyed this movie. Oh, that's awesome. You know how much I enjoyed it? I watched it twice. What? Because I watched it like three weeks ago or four weeks ago whenever we started. And I'm like, I got to watch it again because I didn't really write anything down or anything. I like, I got to watch it again just to refresh.

[01:10:20] And I don't mind watching it again because it was funny. And guess what? The second time around, it was still funny. It was mad. Apparently when you parody yourself and you're that bad, then it's, uh, I couldn't believe that. Like I thought, oh, Jim, you got me here, but you didn't. I liked it. I have a feeling you're going to get me because I will be. Oh, I'll get you. I'm telling you, man, this, this bag, I did extra special work on this bag this time around.

[01:10:50] All right. Well, I'll be the judge of that. Youngblood. I love this movie. That's a hockey movie. With Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe. Yeah, I love Rob Lowe. Playing hockey. Playing hockey. I love Rob Lowe. Who doesn't love Rob Lowe? Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe. I did such good on job on this fricking bag, man. Jim is going to absolutely hate every single movie. Well, he doesn't like sports.

[01:11:20] I know that. But I do love Rob Lowe. Yeah. Well, good luck with this. And I like Rob Lowe playing hockey. All right. Well, you have a good time. I mean, I love hockey. If I'm going to watch a sport, it's going to be hockey. There you go. Does he play a native American or is the name confusing? The name's confusing. Okay. It's just young and he's got blood. And he has blood. And his body? And his body. Because to me, it sounds like a native American name. Just saying. I'm kind of looking forward to it. Well, good. This could be the greatest Rob Lowe film. Hockey movie you ever saw? Yeah. Greatest hockey and Rob Lowe film that I've ever seen.

[01:11:50] I have a feeling you're not going to feel that way. It's no mighty docks. All right. Well, thank God I'm back. Thanks, Ragers. Says you. For listening. Thanks to the Extended Film Rage family you can find in our show notes. Thanks to Casey from the Nerdy Photographer, the voice of Rager Darren, our God of Rage. Find us on social media everywhere at FilmRageYYC. Check out everything FilmRage at FilmRageYYC.com, including our merch site for Redbubble and TeePublic. We're always going to make this raging blast for all listeners.

[01:12:19] So please comment, like, subscribe, send us emails to FilmRageCalgary at gmail.com. Dare us to see terrible movies to fuel our rage. But no matter what you do, please, please, please, pretty please, please, please, make us a rage. That's it for this week. Rage on! Rage on! Rage on!