Episode 285 - Never ending MCU soap opera rolls on

[00:00:04] It's time to feel the rage. Welcome to Film Rage where we talk movies in theaters, streaming and classic films as well. Directors and actors beware as you cannot hide from the rage. My name is Bryson, I'm part of the Film Rage crew which also includes Jim. Hey there Jim. Hey hey Bryce. And we also got The Merman. How many movies did you see this week Merman? That would be one. What? Nice.

[00:00:33] You didn't go to Paddington? Uh, no. Plus it was like frickin' minus 30 all weekend. Don't you like Olivia Colman? She loves it. She's fine in a regular movie with humans. There's humans in this movie. Not enough of them. There's so many humans. It is like 99% humans. There's also a CGI bear. Okay maybe not 99 but it is 65% humans. And it's a kids movie. It's got Antonio Banderas. It doesn't matter. It's a kids movie.

[00:01:02] Alright. I hate Mary. Mary draws the line. Alright. So with the introductions out of the way, let's rage on. Well, thanks for all being supporting us. If you love our independent podcast, please like, subscribe, share and give us a 5 star rating on your listening platform. Or, support us and join the Film Rage community at buymeacoffee.com forward slash Film Rage YYC. If you cannot commit to a membership, you can still buy us a movie rental and dare us to see a terrible film.

[00:01:32] And we'll watch it if we play it anywhere in the world. Now, let's get to Rage Yen! MEN! MAMMY predict! What's amazing MAMMY predict? Will he predict the major? Will he predict the mondo? Will he tell us all what Jim and Bryce saw at the movies?

[00:01:59] Better watch out kids, cause here he comes. He's coming swimming to you. And you. Swimmery, swimmery. Swimmery, swim. Swimmery, swimmery. Swimmery, swim. Swim all the way to our hearts, our little hearts, hearts, hearts. Yeah. Okay. Rest stroke. So three movies this week.

[00:02:28] Once again, I only went to one because I didn't feel like seeing those two. Apparently not. Plus it's too freaking cold to go outside. Let's start with the big one. Captain America. Captain Mirka. Three new worlds. Of course, since Steve Rogers is now retired or dead. He's old. He's old because he lived the life. Yep. They had the black dude, Sam Wilson, who was the Falcon. Yes.

[00:02:58] And what makes him Captain America? Well, the shield. Oh, well. It was handed down. Handed down. Passed down to a generation. He was hand-picked, Murr. Yeah. No, actually somebody else was hand-picked and then they went and killed somebody. So then he got the shield. So anyway, yeah, let's go on a limb here and go for a triple rage. Triple rage. Because I am a part of that.

[00:03:28] He's throwing his hat into the ring. Paddington in Peru, which I guess is a bear. It is a bear. You know Paddington. I know Winnie. You know Paddington. I don't know Paddington. Oh, come on. I grew up with Winnie. The only. With Winnie. With the only bear. With the poo. I actually watched some Paddington real recently. Not just a movie. And man, I tell you, that is some cool.

[00:03:55] They combine stop motion animation with the regular. It's like such a cool. Paddington is. It is like the bomb, man. I know the Brits love them. I know. The Brits love their Paddington. I know what Jim thinks of CGI bears in kids' movies and stuff. So let's go with the Mondo. And Bryce. A Mondo? Bryce, I think, is going to be a man. Yeah. Wow.

[00:04:22] And we have Bring Them Down, which I had never even heard of. I've been waiting for this movie for months. You guys found it's some obscure theater somewhere. Under a rock. But yeah, Barry Keegan. Yep. But it looks like more of an action flick than it really is a, you know. No. Walkie talkie drama. So let's go with Double Man. All right. Double Man. All right. Okay. Interesting. It is interesting.

[00:04:50] I think you might have been right on some of it. That's right. I don't know. You know what? The big question is, did he predict himself correctly? Did I pick myself? That's right. Did I change my mind? That is the question, isn't it? That is the big one. And then he comes out and at the end of it, he goes, meh. No, it's Mondo. It's Mondo. It's like, what? He predicted a triple raise. All right. On that note, I guess we're talking about Captain America Brave New World. Let's start off hot. Yes.

[00:05:20] Captain America Brave New World is the latest Marvel abomination with Anthony Mackie as the new Cap. It is a strange film as Captain America seems to follow orders and team up with folks that he knows are corrupt. Not sure why he does that. Then we get Harrison Ford as President of the United States, Thaddeus Thunderbolt Ross, who you may remember as William Hurt in the Hulk movie from all those years ago. Yes.

[00:05:46] I wondered why Hurt was not in the role again, and I was told it's because he is dead. He died. That's right. That is a really good reason. That is a good reason. He would rather die than being in another Avengers movie. And it's also kind of a bummer, though. Why didn't anybody tell me that William Hurt was dead? I mean, it was on the news, so I guess, you know. I'm stuck. You don't really watch the news. I was kind of sad when I heard that. You know Prince is dead, too, right? I did know that. What about Bowie?

[00:06:15] Did you know Bowie was dead? I did know that as well. Michael Jackson, he's also dead. Is he? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. MJ's dead. Damn. Yeah. Elvis may or may not be dead. Yeah, that's the one we're still not sure about. That one has an asterisk. That's right. So Captain America decides to work for President Thunderbolt, who may be reuniting the Avengers, even though he does not trust or agree with Thunderbolt's policies. So I don't know why he's deciding that he's going to team up with this guy.

[00:06:44] But before this doomed partnership is formed, there is an assassination attempt by one of Cap's buddies, and Thunderbolt decides to completely change his mind about the partnership. This all kind of happens really quickly. It does. Nothing's developed at all, and it's stupid. Another returning character also joins the fray as Tim Blake Nelson returns as Samuel Stearns, who is one of the more insipid villains in the history of this never-ending soap opera known as the Marvel Universe.

[00:07:13] The always reliable Giancarlo Esposito is also completely wasted in this crap fest. The action sequences are nauseating and unconvincing. The fact that Cap doesn't take the super serum and survives the Red Hulk is as silly as the fact that this Captain America seems to have faith in this universe's US government, even though there seems to be corruption at every turn. Why would he ever want to be a part of that? Don't know, because it's never really touched upon. And what else?

[00:07:40] Or, and what was with the ending? For what reason? What reason on Earth would we have made Thunderbolt a sympathetic character? He is not the victim in this story. It is the audience that is the real victim. This was a rage. Nice! Awesome. Well, there's one you predicted. Yeah. All right. So, Marvel's back to making TV movie versions of films, I think, in this one.

[00:08:09] Uh, the good thing about this one, though. The good thing. Is that at least it's a TV show that I felt that I actually liked in the first place. Okay. You didn't like the Captain America Winter Soldier? It was okay. I actually didn't mind it. Yeah. I liked it too. Not that there still was not some issues with some of the story and the convenience factor. So much convenience.

[00:08:39] Be it the president's little security lead apparently can't hear music when the bad guys play the secret brainwash song. For that matter, neither does Captain or Falcon. Because when they're playing the brainwash song, shouldn't everybody get brainwashed? No. I don't know. I don't know how that works, Jim. It's the brainwash song. Everybody listens to it. All the people that were there were brainwashed.

[00:09:09] I didn't think that was... Except for the three people. I thought that that was... I don't think they target you. I thought they would have to... They just play the music. I thought they would have to be brainwashed in the first place though with that music. Yeah. I think you gotta... Don't you? No. It's just... You know what? Just random. There's the... Okay. So at this point... There's the cracks. By the way, at this point, if you give this anything but a rage, you're an idiot. You've already explained why this has to be a rage. I'm not done yet. But keep on going, Jim. I'm not done yet. I have a feeling that for some reason you may not... Just keep on going.

[00:09:38] I don't... This is stupid. I know how you start reviews and where you go from there. And I have a feeling that I'm gonna be calling you a complete nimbus at the end of this. Well, let me tell you. So, they can't hear the music when the bad guy's playing the secret brainwash song. Yeah. For that matter, as we already said, neither does our heroes, quote unquote.

[00:10:03] And our bad guy is apparently knowing everything always. And by all rights, should not get caught. Or even want to get caught. He kind of gets caught pretty easily. Yeah. Because he lets himself get caught. Which absolutely made zero sense. I'm like watching it and I'm like, what? What? You could probably be more effective if you weren't caught. What? Yeah.

[00:10:32] Well, I don't even... Like, that was just like, okay, he had to go and meet... Yeah. It's completely dumb. And then he's like, the what? Ugh. Okay. And so, if you have never seen any Marvel movies before, we really don't know who he is or what their story is. I never saw that. Because nothing in this whole thing is explained. I had no idea who he was. Ultimately, you don't know anybody. So, this goes back to...

[00:11:01] If you remember talking about the Marvelettes or whatever they're called. The Marvelettes where you had to have seen every Marvel episode that's ever been created. Yeah, no. I never saw this movie. Ms. Marvel. I had no idea who this guy was. No clue. I had to look him up. I'm like, oh, okay. He's from that movie. The one I didn't see. Yeah. You didn't see that movie? Never saw it because I freaking had Ed. I had Ed Norton. And I love him. And I think he's probably the best Hulk ever. He's the best Marvel character ever.

[00:11:30] He's the best Marvel character ever. Exactly. And finally, they have these super wingsuits when they already have tech designed by Tony Stark. So, here's the thing I don't get. Yeah. The wingsuit's kind of dumb. The wingsuits are dumb. Like, here we've got, like, he's an Avenger. Yeah. Tony Stark is an Avenger. Yeah. And we've got these super wingsuits. For what reason?

[00:11:59] Tony Stark, although Tony's dead. But his wife is still running a very viable business. Yeah, but his other... There's no reason why. And why isn't it? Why isn't it? Anybody that doesn't have the super serum should be in a freaking Iron Man get up, man. Like, why wouldn't you be? I 100% everybody! We should have 20,000 Iron Men running around. It's like Iron Man, yeah. So, you know what? No. You know what? Iron Man's...

[00:12:26] Because, like, Tony Stark, he produced an entire army of, like, just robot Iron Men. Yeah. With no humans inside. Yeah, well, that has its own issues. Yeah, but what's his name? I've seen that movie before. Yeah, we've kind of seen that movie. They solved that issue, though. Okay, so let's continue on this. I haven't finished yet. So, and then on top of that, like, they've created a whole universe of Wakanda where you

[00:12:51] have a bunch of genius people, including Black Panther's sister, who is a super genius. She's the new Black Panther. White Panther, right? She's a new science officer from Star Trek or whatever. A little skinny chick. And there's no way that she couldn't help the Red Hulk's heart. I guess not. Yeah, but he hates the Avengers. He would never ask any of them. He hates everybody. Oh, that's the point. Yeah.

[00:13:20] I did also think, though, that this played into the detective story feel. Now, I don't think it was a great detective story. No. But I like the fact that it was still following the whole Captain America Winter Soldier thing. Okay. So, even though I'm tired of superheroes and all the needing me to buy into this Marvel

[00:13:47] Force stuff, I really like Anthony Mackie and this character they have developed. So, for that reason, if I was Bryce, I would say this would be a man. But in this case, because I am not and I really do like Anthony Mackie. By the way, that's not true. What? You don't think I like Anthony Mackie? No. Just because I like someone in a movie doesn't... You've literally go back two episodes ago. Oh, stop it. You're like, yeah, I really like these characters, so I didn't hate it. Oh, stop it.

[00:14:17] So, it was a man. The stories... I give my review based on the entire movie there, my friend. This... This... The thing that was the worst about this movie, in all honesty, was they cast a geriatric Hulk. Like, that just made no sense. If you're going to replace William Hurt with somebody, make a William Hurt equivalent that's 40 years old. Just dig up William Hurt and just put him up. CGI the shit out of him like they do every... No.

[00:14:46] No, no. Just dig him up and throw some, like, you know, plastic skin on him and have him like a marionette. That would have been, like, much more interesting. Like they do... Like they've done with everybody in these ones. Yeah. I don't want it... I don't want it CGI. I want it practical. So, just dig up his remains and just... Dead body. And just... I don't know if anybody... Okay. So, I'm going to ask the two of you this. Uh-huh. Have you ever worn a suit with a tie? Yes. Okay. Murray, have you ever worn a suit with a tie? Not often, but yeah.

[00:15:15] Okay, let me tell you. I wore a suit and a tie for a good 35 years. I wore a tie for 10 years. Okay. But did you wear... What kind of pants did you wear? I wore dress pants. Okay. So, dress pants traditionally are made with wool or they're potentially polyester. Mine were polyester. Okay. Are you talking about the super stretchy pants? Yeah. So, this is where I'm going to say... Yeah. Well, let's also... I'm going to say... His wang should have been... We should have seen Red Wiener. Absolutely. Red Hulk Wiener. Like, nobody's business.

[00:15:45] Every other ounce of clothing rips off. Yeah. But he's got magical wool pants that can fucking stretch... Yeah. No. ...over his giant Hulk penis. Yeah, exactly. There should have been... The two-thirds of the screen should have been Hulk penis. That's right. His Hulk penis... It would have been better because it would have looked the same size as Anthony Mackie. Man, those would have been some giant balls. It's like, this Hulk, he's got giant balls. And come on! That would have made it worth seeing it in AVX. Which is how I saw it, too. That's how I saw it.

[00:16:15] So, yeah. This was a rage. But I do like Anthony Mackie. And I like this character. I want to go watch the TV series again. You had me worried there. I know. I did that in purpose. I planted the seed for the Murray when I saw him Saturday night. Oh? Yes. Oh. Dr. Strange. Yes. Shang-Chi. Yes. Ant-Man. Yes.

[00:16:43] Bruce freaking Banner. Yes. Captain Marvel. Spider-Man. Yes. Winter Soldier. Black Panther. Are you just listing all the characters now? These are just some of the Avengers that are still around that puny human Sam Wilson could have called for help with a raging red Hulk. That's my problem with every freaking Marvel movie is where the hell is everybody else when all this shit is going down? Bucky showed up. Yeah.

[00:17:13] Not to do anything. He's running for office now. He was being handy. Yeah. They were probably busy with other stuff. The Hulk was tearing apart the White House and nobody got it on camera anywhere. It wasn't somebody back to the fortress. They were probably- No, they're not busy. They're probably catching up on those- The only person who was busy maybe, Captain Marvel. The Ranger Things series on Netflix or something. Well, Hulk, doesn't Hulk, or not Hulk, what's your favorite one? Well, Thor, he's not even on planet anymore.

[00:17:43] He's living up. So that's where he is. Yeah, but these other people are all humans. Dr. Strange should have been around, let's face it. Yeah, Dr. Strange should have seen it coming. He should do these giant circles. Shang-Chi. Shang-Chi. I think Ant-Man should have been there. Yeah. But yeah, none of them came to help him. Not one. So you got this guy, as Bryce said, who has no superpowers, no super serum, but he's Captain America. Oh, but wait.

[00:18:08] He has this new wings and this new armor made of vibranium. Nice. Which is supposed to be indestructible. Almost indestructible. Yeah. And then what happens? When the Hulk tore his wings off. He gets his ass kicked by a geriatric monster with gray chest hairs. And even his new vibranium swings get ripped apart like tissue paper. Yep. That wasn't even the worst part of the film. What? The entire plot, which is shown in the trailers.

[00:18:37] I'm not giving away any spoilers here. Yeah, we knew this. That freaking trailer's the worst, by the way. It shows you how the movie is. It shows you the whole movie. Yeah. It centers around Thaddeus Ross, the same guy who chased after the Hulk for years. The father of Bruce Banner's girlfriend, Betty. The same guy who tore apart the Avengers with the Sokovia Accords. And is now the president. The bad guy from that Ed Norton. You mean William Hurt 2.0?

[00:19:07] Ed Norton Hulk movie that Marvel basically buried is back to seek revenge. He turns the already jerk-faced general slash president into a Hulk. Yeah, that's it. Seriously, that's the whole plot. There's a few lame side stories about World War III. Discovery of a new element called adamantium. That is the strongest metal on Earth. Oh, that's because we need Wolverine. But wait.

[00:19:36] That sounds familiar. Oh, yeah. That's the same stuff that Wolverine has had fused to his skeletons since the 50s. Yeah. WTF? Like, it's a new substance? No, it's not. Go ask the X-Men. I'm not going to go into further details because this film is so awful. I just don't want to talk about it anymore. Big freaking Red Hulk rage. Rage.

[00:20:07] I don't think Marvel can make a movie anymore. Like, seriously, the Thunderbolts looks better than this piece of crap. Well, okay, so here's- We'll see. We'll see, but you know what? Looks funny. You know what we need to come- We'll see. Is the Barry Keegan crew. The Barry Keegan crew. The superheroes that were immortal or whatever they are. Yes. That's what we really need. Because, you know what? At least they put superhero sex in their movie. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[00:20:34] They also pulled Little Nugget from that terrible movie. Yeah. That's what the whole- As a central plot of this one. It was Matt. I forgot it was even in that movie. Yeah. Like, oh. That's what I said to Price. Did you remember seeing the- Yeah. Because I was looking at this island or whatever this thing is supposed to be, and it's got the head of Galactus, which is like a major Marvel supervillain. It's from that movie. So is he going to come out of the Earth? You know what?

[00:21:01] I think because they're going to all of a sudden make the Avengers 2.0 come back. Yeah. Because they got to introduce everybody. Well, they have to have a new villain because of what's his name, right? I don't know. You know what? Here's the thing. Yeah, it was terrible. Stop making Marvel films. No, they're not going to. Stop making Star Wars movies. Just stop. And oh, what are those other things they do a lot of? CGI. CGI fights. Talking animals. Yeah, yeah.

[00:21:29] Which is a good transition as we start to talk about Paddington in Peru. Paddington in Peru? Okay, so- That's exciting. When you go to a Paddington film, you know you're in for a few things. Number one is cute factor at a level 100%. Yeah. Yeah. You've got silliness. Yeah. And you've got an adventure. It's true. You also have to not take the science of reality too much to heart.

[00:21:56] I mean, after all, we have a talking bear who lives in London. So if you're going to buy into a talking bear in London- And nobody gives it a second look. Nobody gives it a second look. Then, you know what? Everything that you want to find fault in this, like you would in a movie that's all about science, it's no sense. So things like landing a plane in the jungle, which normally are impossible, or on the side of a mountain, you just go along with it.

[00:22:21] Because our lead character is a talking, marmalade-eating, klutzy, fun-loving bear with a heart of gold. In this episode, we get the Browns accompanying Paddington to Peru, thus the title. Where he is originally from, to visit his aunt Lucy. Where they meet up with Antonio Bandares and Olivia Colman, a riverboat captain, and a mother superior of a home for retired bears. Also something that they probably don't have in Peru. Silly antics ensue, intrigue, suspense-

[00:22:51] Oh, I think they do, Jim. Okay, maybe I'm wrong. I haven't been to Peru, so. Silly antics ensue, intrigue, suspense, double crossing, and finding the lost city of El Dorado. Yes. That's why you had to have somebody who speaks- There's gold there. Well, there's gold, but it's orange-colored gold. It's the marmalade kind? It may be. Disappointing. Yes. I laughed, I cried with both joy and love joy.

[00:23:16] The animation of our beloved bear is always outstanding, and actually quite realistic. You can't hang out with Paddington and the Browns and not come away with anything but joy in your heart and a desire to have a marmalade sandwich. As far as kid shows go, this is a great teacher of what's important in life, and will be a great film to enjoy as a family.

[00:23:38] As a bonus, if you wait till the end credits roll, we get our favorite villain from Paddington 2. Hugh Grant is back, and we learn that he may be in another adventure. So, Paddington 3. 4. Hugh's 4, right? Paddington 4. Hugh Grant's Castle. Yes. Maybe where we're going next. This was a lot of fun.

[00:24:04] Now, it wasn't as fun as Paddington 2, which in my opinion is a perfect film, but it was still very fun. I really, really enjoyed this. It didn't make it to Mondo for me, but it got a high, high, man. Yeah. And I have a bit of unpacking that Olivia Colman in this movie is still showing why she is one of the most mesmerizing actors.

[00:24:27] That fucking smile on her face in this movie, like you knew she was bad right from the moment when she picked up the guitar and did a Julie Andrews impression, singing around the entire mountainside. It was mind-blowingly entertaining and fun. She was brilliant in this. All right. Paddington in Peru.

[00:24:52] Has Ben Winshaw returned as the voice of the beloved bear in the red bucket hat? There is something about the way Winshaw voices this character that makes him ridiculously endearing. He's got Paddington nailed. In this adventure, Paddington must go to Peru to save his beloved Aunt Lucy as she has gone missing. Along with the Brown family, Paddington arrives at the home for retired bears, who is headed by the Reverend Mother, played by Olivia Colman.

[00:25:22] From there, they find a boat captain, played by Antonio Banderas, and hire him to take them to El Dorado, the lost city of gold, as they believe that is where Aunt Lucy is. To be honest, the whole story is kind of convoluted and the situations are kind of dumb. But none of that matters as the performances are charming and the humor lands every time. It is silly and it knows it.

[00:25:44] And by the end, the theme of family may just have you choking back a few tears. This is a sweet little movie, just like the previous two. I kind of wish Sally Hawkins would have come back in Mrs. Brown, but I suppose Emily Mortimer was okay. This was very, very entertaining family fare. Paddington in Peru was meh as well. It was meh.

[00:26:13] It's really entertaining, though. And if you've got some kids, watch it with them. They'll like this. They'll like it and you will too. There is enough in there that you will find this very entertaining and your kids will love it. Yeah. It's funny, though. It's not as good as two. Two is just so good. I thought one and two were better than this one, but I have a soft spot in my heart for all three. And I'm looking forward to more Paddington.

[00:26:42] Oh, yeah, definitely. I definitely want more Paddington. I know that I'm going to be entertained. And I tell you, Ben Winshaw, that is some good voice acting, man. He is so good as Paddington. Oh, from the trailer when he gives Antonio Banderas the stare? Yes. It's like that's worth the price of admission right there. It's like, you know what? And you get to that point in the movie and it's just like... I know it's coming! Yes! You scold him with that stare, Paddington. Yeah, so good. Nice.

[00:27:16] All right, Barry Keegan. Yes. Bring them down. All right, so farmer Michael O'Shea crashes his car, which in turn disfigures his girlfriend and kills his mother. Then flash forward a couple of decades or so, and this sheep farmer, played by Christopher Abbott, leads a quiet life with his father, played by Cole Meany, on the farm while his former girlfriend has moved on

[00:27:43] and married another sheep farmer named Gary. Now, Gary has a son, Jack, who is played by the brilliant Barry Keegan. Jack makes some bad decisions. He sure does. And Gary ends up exponentially making those decisions worse, and stuff gets way out of hand as the lives are changed forever and not everyone will survive. Not even the sheep, unfortunately.

[00:28:08] This is a story of sin and the consequences of not forgiving and the pursuit of perceived justice, and then sometimes that justice just becomes good old-fashioned vengeance. It is a story of lost souls and ill-conceived actions. It is perfectly shot, paced, and acted. It ends fittingly as sins are paid for in many different ways. I love this film. It is Mondo. All right.

[00:28:37] So, as you mentioned, we start the story driving the narrow country roads of Ireland, where we are learning that Mikey's mom is leaving his dad, which causes Mikey to start speeding and acting not safe, which leads to some dire side effects for his mom. As you mentioned, we fast forward and we get a sort of new spin on the Hatfields and the McCoys,

[00:29:07] Irish style. But they are sheep herders. Totes. With both families who have their fair share of challenges, and none of them are happy with their existence. This develops into a very good character story about guilt and loss. Because the story gets darker when one family starts stealing the other's herd, and then cutting the legs off to sell the legs. Who knew that was even a business?

[00:29:37] Selling legs. Murray, how many times would you go to the grocery store and say, hey, you know what I need today? I need a sheep leg. How can I get one of those? Like, it's not even the whole leg. That's what a leg of lamb is, dude. Dude, that's like a mean. I think they were cutting them off from the knees. That is the mean. No, they weren't. They were cutting the back legs off, you wanker. Well, that's not even the best part of the lamb. That is the best. Rack of lamb. Rack of lamb is the real one.

[00:30:06] It's all gross anyways. But my father for like decades would get me out of the house with this goddamn leg of lamb he would cook like once a month. I love your dad. Just the grossest smelling crap ever. It's delicious. But he just loved leg of lamb. Who doesn't? He would make it every chicken month. It was gross. But rack of lamb is even better. That's right. Rack of lamb. Should have been just pulling their ribs off. All lamb is gross.

[00:30:33] Even when I was a meat eater way back when, which I do not agree with at all. And none of you should eat meat. Except a lamb rack. I would never, ever eat lamb because it is disgusting. It's delicious. All right. So we then see things turn even darker and start getting even more dark as Mikey's dad decides he would rather collect heads instead of sheep legs.

[00:31:00] Well, he wants Mikey to collect the heads because his dad is a bit of a dick. Yeah. Then we get mementoed for a bit, which kind of took me out of this story a little bit because it at that point started to become a bit draggy because I felt I had already seen. And I felt that the memento scenes weren't needed at all. So I took a little bit of a nap for about seven or ten minutes. You did.

[00:31:28] Which meant I did miss a little bit of the end of the story. I was actually trying to decide whether you were sleeping or not because you weren't doing your usual loud snore. Yeah. It was just like. And then it would stop. And I was like, okay, no, he's okay. I think he's still awake. Because I was going to elbow you. You should have elbowed me. But I was like. For the record, I've been to movies with Jim and sometimes he nods off and I don't hear anything. All right. I usually. No, really? So I like to look over.

[00:31:58] I'm like, oh, he's actually sleeping. I usually hear him snoring away. I don't. Not always. So I liked it, but I felt I didn't need to be mementoed. I already got the part of the story well enough. So until I receive the seven to ten minutes that I slept through, I can only give, I want to say, 98% of this film a man. And yeah, I did not like the memento. I did not like it. It was fine. I just wasn't needed. No, it wasn't.

[00:32:25] I hate when they do that and there's no reason for it. They went back and they went from the other point of view. Yeah. It didn't need to be there because that whole part of the story was already happening. You already knew what was going on. It was good. It was not. It was good. So I can't see this ever getting to a mondo for me. But I can tell you one thing. I really loved the idea of the story and I liked it a lot. All right. So it was mad. So you were wrong. Cool. No, I was right. It was totally right.

[00:32:58] Oh, the mer. Yeah, I didn't really do anything else. I didn't want to do anything this week either, but I found something. Nice. I love things. This is a very sad moment for me. What? I'm sure you two will love it. Whoa. Against my better judgment, I finally decided to watch Coming to America. Oh! As in number two, this sequel. Oh, yeah. It's definitely number two. It's definitely number two.

[00:33:27] I know you guys hated the original, but I loved it. With Eddie and Arsenio and their cast of characters and makeup, it was funny and had a sweet, heartwarming story. I still consider it one of Eddie's best films. Unfortunately, watching this piece of trash sequel forced me to come to the conclusion that Mr. Murphy simply isn't funny anymore. What?

[00:33:55] Like I said, it's a very sad moment for me. Wait a minute. He's not completely not funny because you did like the Alex Foley. I'm not done yet. Oh, sorry. Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed the hell out of the last Beverly Hills Cop movie. Which, his name is Axel, by the way. Whatever. Axel. It was actually fun. I also watched it. Axel F? You liked? I loved the last Beverly Hills Cop 4, whatever it was. You liked it. It was called Axel F, wasn't it? No. I don't know if it was a subtitle. No, I liked it. No, I think that's what it was called. I liked it. You liked it too.

[00:34:25] No, I didn't. Well, you said on our podcast you liked it. Oh, I did not. Yeah, you did. I also watched Eddie on the SNL 50th Anniversary show on Sunday. Yeah, it's called Axel F. And it wasn't that bad. I don't know what you guys are talking about. The biggest problem with this horrible film, apart from the bad plot, was the even worse supporting cast. The unfunny Tracy Morgan. What? I love Tracy Morgan.

[00:34:54] The heinous Leslie Jones. Love Leslie Jones. I love Leslie Jones. Artists formerly known as Wesley Snipes. I like Leslie Snipes. The list goes on. Wesley, Leslie, whatever. And of course, most of the original cast from the first film, who have not aged well. Plus, there's this new punk that I've never seen before or heard of that plays Akeem's bastard son.

[00:35:23] Those of you who haven't seen the original or this one, I'll spare you. Akeem and his manservant, Semi, go to America to find a woman worthy of becoming a queen. In the sequel, it is revealed that the absolutely repugnant Leslie Jones drugged and raped the prince one night. Hence, the bastard son. So apparently, rape is funny when it happens to the man. Apparently.

[00:35:51] I tried hard to find something to like about this film. Being the diehard Eddie Murphy fan that I am. We do share a birthday after all. Nice. Minus the 10 year age difference. Who's older? That would be him. I just couldn't. Every time Tracy Morgan or Leslie Jones showed up, I almost threw up in my mouth a bit. I like them. They were the only good parts of it. Eddie, I still love you.

[00:36:20] But yeah, this is a horrible rage. I shouldn't have watched this. Yeah. They basically ruined everything I liked about the first one. Yeah. It continued to ruin it from the first one on to that one. But it is really a horrible, horrible movie. It was terrible. I had better hopes for it. It is literally the worst movie I think he's ever done. Because I thought it would be a better story and it just wasn't. It spent like five minutes in America and the rest of the time was in Africa. Yeah. This was the worst Eddie Murphy's ever been. Yeah. It's up there. I think Norbit's up there.

[00:36:49] Yeah, I was going to say Norbit. I don't know, man. But no, usually he's okay. But yeah, this is terrible. I'm sorry I watched it. It ruined everything. Your childhood crush was crushed. Yes. I still love him, but yeah, this is terrible. Temperature rising. Vision blurring. Rage taking over.

[00:37:35] Oh, my sweet sweet. How I love you. So rage. This week, if you can guess it, is the trailer for Hulk 2.0 Red Hulk's penis. Hulk. This is just another example. I don't even know what the purpose of showing it.

[00:38:03] And I said to Bryce about this because I remember when it first came, the new trailer came out that basically showed the whole movie. Yeah. And I'm like, you know what? The reason that they show that is because of the nostalgia-ridden nostalgia berries that are plugged into the fans of Marvel still that they're basically going, you know who we don't have? Somebody from Star Wars in the MCU yet.

[00:38:31] So you had to see that, oh, look, they put Indiana Jones slash, what's his name from the Star Wars franchise? Han Solo. But they killed him. Yeah. Well, that's why they needed to bring him back into this one, Murray. Because you know what? We didn't get enough with him from Indiana Jones. So you know what? That's the whole reason I think they put, they did an entire trailer that's a spoiler.

[00:38:58] Is because they needed everybody to know what happens at the end of the movie in the trailer. And they basically say, oh, how about this? We know that the Red Hulk is going to be Harrison Ford. Like, that's my rage. Well, no, because anyway, he reads the comics, knows who the Red Hulk is. He's the general. So before they even cast to air support, you already know the secret. But yeah, then to show the actual Red Hulk in the trailer. I wouldn't have known.

[00:39:26] Yeah, I wouldn't have known because I haven't really followed the comics. Yeah, but most comic book fans wouldn't. Yeah, but there's still a lot of Marvel fans that, yeah. And the other thing is that, like, we got to see his wiener. I'm sorry. Like, if you're going to have pants. Yeah, that should be the rage. There was no Hulk wiener. Yeah, that's ultimately my biggest part of the rage is there's no Hulk wiener. But he has super stretchy pants. There's no such thing, Murray. Yes, there is. Because every, no. Ask Lou Ferrigno. He had super stretchy pants. Yeah, okay. But he wasn't wearing any super stretchy pants.

[00:39:56] And also Lou Ferrigno wasn't three times the size. At least Ang Lee explained it with, like, a spandex. Remember that? His Hulk. Yeah, but here's the thing. Is that if you know he's a Hulk, he didn't even know he was the Hulk at that point. He just knew he was starting to rage. I like that one. My rage this week has nothing to do with movies. What? Is this new? Is it? Maybe.

[00:40:26] My rage is, and I've probably talked about it before, but. Is it your scene points? Nah, so I get in my car and I'm driving to work. And then I come home and I drive to work and I come home. And I have been in so much traffic over the last two weeks that when I fill up my tank, I fill up my tank every two weeks. And I've usually still got a quarter of a tank left and eighth at worst. Yeah. I am now Wednesday.

[00:40:54] I got one more day. I got to get to work because I work on Friday and I got one and a half liters of fuel left because I've been sitting in traffic so much over the past two weeks. Just island away. It has been horrible. I don't know what's going on. And I even had an extra day off from work because we had a holiday in there. So I must've been sitting in traffic for like three or four times more than I usually would.

[00:41:23] So that's my rage is traffic. And now I got to make the decision. I don't, one and a half liters will probably get me to work if I don't run into any more traffic. But on a Friday morning, it may or I, I should be okay. So I got, and I, and I fill up at work because it feels cheaper. Yep. I may not make it. And I got to make that decision. Do I go put five bucks in somewhere?

[00:41:53] Here's my guess. You know what it'll be? I know you. You're not going to fill it up. There's no way I'm going. There's no way you're going to. You're going to take my chances. You're going to take your chances and roll those bones. Stay tuned next week. We'll see if that liter and a half actually got me to work. He drives a smart car. You can push that up the hill with one hand. Well, that's. He has done that before. When his car is broken, he's actually flagged people down and said, help me. Yeah. They've lifted his car out of snow banks. We just lift it up. You can push that thing like a sled.

[00:42:23] It's all right. Yeah. Just so you know, Bryce is like seven feet tall. That's my rage. Yeah, he's more traffic. He collapses his body into this smart car. He can torts himself. I can't believe I've gone through that much fuel in the last two weeks. I never go through it. And it's cold. Because it's cold. Adding to it. Freaking cold. Well, this is your best rage ever. I'm not going to lie. Sure. It's exciting.

[00:42:58] Last time on Rage or Dare, Bryce went ape over pulling from Jim's bag when he pulled what appears is his least favorite ape film franchise when he picked 1971's Escape from the Planet of the Apes. This week, it's Jim's turn to rage or dare. Now, let's check in with Bryce and maybe we'll find out why he loves CGI monkeys in pretty much every movie he sees them in.

[00:43:27] And yet, he doesn't like Roddy McDowell in a monkey suit nearly as much. Come on, Bryce. Okay. First of all, I still don't think I think those are just really good monkey suits in those new Planet of the Apes. You can't convince me that that's CGI. It looks too good. Secondly, let's talk about the movie at hand. Escape from the Planet of the Apes from 1971 is a story of three apes who land on Earth

[00:43:56] in a U.S. spacecraft. And then from there, they are revered by some. Before you go, what was the second? Because the first one is Planet of the Apes. Yeah. And then I think it's... And the second one is Beneath the Planet of the Apes, right? Is it? Yeah. I think that's the one where... Because I think this is the third one, right? Yes. Because then they escape from the planet. Because I'm thinking of the time frame of the years, right? Yeah. The original came out. The only thing... It makes sense that it's because... It seems like this should be maybe...

[00:44:25] Is it the third one? I'm pretty positive it is. Because it would make sense from where it kind of goes, but... I mean, I saw all these so long ago. I don't know. Planet of the Apes was 68. Yeah. And then Beneath... It was Beneath, eh? I'm positive that's the one where... What's his name? Comes back. And Beneath the Planet of the Apes was 1970. So, yeah. It has to have been... It wouldn't have made another one. So, it's got to be that.

[00:44:54] At any rate, the three apes land on Earth in a U.S. spacecraft. And then from there, they're revered by some and believed to be a threat by others. So, did they take, like, flying lessons? I don't know. Apparently, they sort of... But they... I mean, they crashed into the ocean. So, I don't know. They didn't... I don't know what they were doing. They went back in time? And that... Apparently, that's what happened is they went back in time. So, they go back in time.

[00:45:24] And... I mean... I don't even know. I don't... I'm gonna... I'm gonna go up front right now. I didn't hate this as much as I thought I was going to. I don't really understand a lot of it. Because... What don't you understand? They came back from the Planet of the Apes. But how? They escaped it. They just got in the ship and then all of a sudden... Yeah.

[00:45:49] Apparently, at the end of Beneath the Planet of the Apes, did they actually, like, pretty much destroy the Planet of the Apes? Yeah. It was... They launched the missile. So, that makes a lot more sense then. Because they're saying as they were leaving, they saw, like, the Planet of the Apes pretty much, like... So, the science... Like, the distance between the original Planet of the Apes to Beneath the Planet of the Apes is maybe six months. Right. And then... And now it's like... It's like a two-week period.

[00:46:17] So, from that time frame, they were able to find the ship... Yeah. Pull it out of the Forbidden Zone. Yeah. Fix it. Yeah. Add on an entire source of fuel that they never had and get back into the ship and go back in time... Yeah. ...to the planet. Yeah. So... And you didn't have any problems with that? I mean, it was... It was... Like, the whole concept of this movie? The whole concept was dumb.

[00:46:44] And I've already mentioned, like, it's dumb. I mean, this is definitely not a classic, but it is watchable as we watch these apes go from misunderstood to the toast of high society to fugitives. It all kind of made sense once they got to Earth. So, I'm going to watch it based on that because I don't know what the hell went on before this. I just know three alien apes landed on Earth. They're not alien.

[00:47:14] Well, they're alien to the people on Earth at the time because they can't wrap their brain around the fact that these guys are from the future. So, anyways, it's quite the rollercoaster ride. But here's the thing. We get Ricardo Montalban. He shows up as a circus owner, Armando. Yes!

[00:47:37] And I'm not sure why, but any time Montalban shows up in anything, it just makes it better. That's right. And it also makes me smile. I can't get enough of Ricardo. That's right. That's right. Fantasy Island was so awesome. Weren't we just talking about this, like, literally? No, no, no. There's more. I told you that it wasn't just Ricardo Montalban. That was just kind of a bonus.

[00:48:04] Now, this wasn't very good, but Ricardo Montalban citing and a better than average bummer of an ending. I mean, I didn't hate this. I remember hating it when I watched it the first time. But upon re-watching it, it wasn't actually that bad. I mean, it wasn't good, but it wasn't a rage. It was mad.

[00:48:31] I'm actually kind of hoping I get some more Planet of the Apes because maybe they're all not as bad as I remember. Because I was absolutely dreading watching this. And as I'm watching, I'm going, this isn't good, but I'm not hating it. It's all right. Isn't it? Yeah. I'm happy to hear that because, you know, I am a huge fan of the original series.

[00:49:00] Like, when people talk about Star Wars. I have a feeling that I'm going to like this better. Like, I have watched the original Planet of the Apes. Not recently, but within the last three or four years for sure. Yeah. And I still hate it. Yes. It's because of Charlton Heston. I actually liked this better than it. Like, quite a bit better. And it's a totally different movie. Like, it's kind of a weird movie. It's not like the other ones that I can remember. Like, I didn't even remember.

[00:49:30] As I was watching it, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was all kind of coming back to me in little pieces. But this is not like the other movies. This is kind of its own little thing. It's kind of. Well, there's. Okay. So there's Escape from the Planet of the Apes where they actually escape and come back in time. And then there's Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. Right. Which is their son picked up by Ricardo Montalban because I think he's in the fourth one.

[00:50:00] Ricardo's in the fourth one with the baby. Really? I don't remember that at all. And then the baby learns to talk because, you know, his parents could talk. And then the last one is Battle for the Planet of the Apes because the apes have started to build society, like an integrated society with humans and apes. And then the evil mutant people are under the ground. Are all these from the timeline of Escape from the Planet of the Apes going forward with those? No.

[00:50:28] So beneath the Planet of the Apes. That's where they leave. The first three is probably like, I would guess, a one year time frame. Give or take. And then Conquest fast forwards. Oh, then we go. Until Cornelius's kid. It's like a prequel? It's. Yeah. It's like. It's like. It's somewhat like a prequel. Yes. It's a prequel to Planet of the Apes because they have to get to the point where, you know, society has kind of fallen apart and the apes take over. Okay.

[00:50:58] So Conquest for the Planet of the Apes is where they actually go and you, they, putting apes into, putting chains on them, trying to domesticate them. Then because Cornelius and Zira's son decides to revolt and the apes take over. And then that's the start of the downfall of humanity because, you know, they don't have weapons or anything apparently because that, you know, that's what happened.

[00:51:24] And, and then the final one is they've already started building the society of Planet of the Apes. And it's an integrated society with humans and apes that work together. And then the evil mutated because there was another, I guess, atomic bomb. Okay. And the battle for the Planet of the Apes is even further into the future. I think I like the new series better. No. Yeah. Classics are good. Yeah. Classics can be good.

[00:51:54] Roddy McDowell walking around like a monkey. Yeah. I don't know. As I say, didn't hate this, but I have a feeling that the rest of them might not get such a glowing review if you can call it that. Well, I think there's another four in the bag for you. That's actually the thing that annoyed me as I was watching it. I was like, I bet you that he's got these, he's got more of these in here and I'm going to watch them completely out of order. Yes.

[00:52:22] It's going to be even more frustrating for me. At any rate, whatever. All right. Well, let me see what I got here. I got to pull from. Who are you pulling from? I'm pulling from your evil, horrible bag. You're pulling from mine? Oh, you don't want to do that. All right. What's this? The main event? Who's the main? Is that like Babs? That is Barbara Streisand, my friend. In a boxing movie? Yes! Oh, my God.

[00:52:52] A boxing movie with Babs? A sports movie. Yes! I think you're really going to like this, actually. You can thank me next week. Does she do some singing? She does not. No? No singing? I know. Like, if you're going to put Babs into a movie, she better do some. Maybe she'll do the title score. Maybe. I don't think so. But, no, I don't think so. I don't think she does. Do you remember seeing this when it came out? I saw this probably when I was like 12.

[00:53:21] I saw it on video because, you know, I just rented stuff. Yep. And, you know, I'm like, well, I've never seen it. And I was like, so. Yeah, in junior. Yeah. Yeah. So, I was like, yeah. I saw this in cinemas when it was. I was but a child. Yeah. All right. Well, it doesn't get any better than Babs. There you go. Babs in boxing. All right. Well, thanks, Ragers, for listening. Thanks to the extended Film Rage family who you can find in our show notes.

[00:53:47] Thanks to Casey from the Nerdy Photographer for the voice of Rage Odette. Find us on social media everywhere at FilmRageYYC. Check out everything at FilmRage at FilmRageYYC.com, including our merch site for Redbubble and T-pubble. We're always going to make this Raging Blast for all listeners, so please comment, like, subscribe. Send us emails to FilmRageCalgary at gmail.com. Dare to see terrible movies to fuel our rage. But no matter what you do, please, please, please, pretty please, please, please, make us a rage. That's it for this week. Rage on.

[00:54:17] My hands are cold. Are yours cold? It's cold down here. You're cold.