Episode 254 - Yorgos Lanthimos is Undoubted

[00:00:04] It's time to feel the rage! Welcome to Film Rage where we talk movies, in theaters, streaming and classic films as well. Directors and actors, beware as you cannot hide from the rage.

[00:00:20] My name is Bryson and I'm part of Film Rage Crew which also includes Jim. Hey there Jim. Hey, hey, hey, Brys. And... no Merman. Where's Merman? Merman is at the Calgary Stampede slugging his guts out on the stage. What's a Calgary Stampede? Never heard of it.

[00:00:38] It is the greatest outdoor show on earth. According to who? According to the people that run the Calgary Stampede. Ah, well that seems like a bit of a biased opinion. Yes, but you know what's more... Full disclosure I've been to the Calgary Stampede.

[00:00:51] It's not the greatest outdoor show on earth. It's not the greatest any show. No. Well it might be this year because guess what? Merman gets to wear when he's on stage. Because he's kind of a background person. Right. He's wearing a tight black leotard.

[00:01:08] So we're going to get huge Merman package. He's going to look like David Bowie in Labyrinth, Merman style. That's worth the price of admission. Exactly! It could be the greatest outdoor show on earth. It might be with the Merman in a onesie. Yeah. I'm going every night.

[00:01:26] There we go. Alright, so with the introductions out of the way... Let's rage on! Wow, thanks for all who've been supporting us. If you love our independent podcast, please like, subscribe, share and give us a 5 star rating on your listening platform.

[00:01:43] Or even better, join the Film Rage community by joining our membership at buymeacoffee.com forward slash filmrageyyc. And if you cannot commit to membership, you can still buy us a movie rental and dare us to see a terrible film.

[00:01:55] Watch it. If it played anywhere in the world, in a cinema. That's the only rule. Anywhere. Even once. Even if it was paid by the director, which Bryce has had to watch, to play his movie in a movie theater. We will watch it. Now, let's get to raging.

[00:02:19] Get to raging? It's some Merman prediction. Yo, let's do that. That's part of the raging. Here goes. Swimmery. Swimmery. Alright, so even though the Merman can't show up, that's my best British accent. Can't show up. Because Murray can't shut up. No, can't show up.

[00:03:16] He's given us his predictions. And these are the five movies that Bryce and I, and Bryce luckily was able to see all of them, as was I, in cinemas.

[00:03:28] So we saw Kinds of Kindness, which you know, we probably should have a Lifts episode because I think that's Yogos' eighth film. Is it? I think. But we'll go through that.

[00:03:41] You know what, we'll throw in a Lifts segment even though we didn't have time because we saw five movies. Quiet Place Day One, Horizon Part One, Protocol Seven, not one, it's Protocol Seven, and Daddio.

[00:03:56] So Kinds of Kindness, he said Bryce will be a Mondo and Jim will be a Mondo. He put Quiet Place Day One, Bryce a Rage, and Jim a Meh. For Horizon Part One, this is a surprise to me because it's the great Kevin Costner.

[00:04:13] He guessed Rage and Rage for both of us. And then Protocol Seven, he put Double Meh because he wasn't sure if you were going to get to it. And then Daddio. He was doing so well. And then he did Daddio, both of us Mondo. Wow.

[00:04:32] That's not how you say wow. Wow. That's better. It's like Owen Wilson was in the studio. It's almost like he's here with us.

[00:04:41] It was first, before we turned the podcast on, Bryce was doing his greatest impression of Bob Dylan and now he's doing his greatest Owen Wilson impression. It's like a variety show today. It's nice. Wow. That was nice timing. Oh no, it started again.

[00:04:56] Maybe we need to listen to the whole thing. Just go... Nah. There we go. Oh, that's better. It's louder. What would the amazing mountain predict? What would the amazing mountain predict? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. I love this music. You know what?

[00:05:20] This may be a shock to you, but I also love you. Yeah, it's not a shock. Yeah, that's true. All right. So we're going to talk about kinds of kindness. So first off, the Murr gave us his review because... Oh yeah, Murr saw this. We saw this.

[00:05:40] Started at, I think, 10, 15 at night. We got out at about 3 in the morning. And we got home at like 2 in the morning after we did a... It was like a road trip of Calgary. So you all wanted to know what a version of Tales from the Crypt

[00:05:59] or Twilight Zone reimagined by Jorgos Lanthimos was? Well, this is it. With three different but equally funny, ironic, and body horror-ridden stories. With each of the three stories all having the same cast in each,

[00:06:17] all playing very different roles that stretch each of their acting chops like rubber bands. They have a single piano-based soundtrack that pulls them all together with suspense, surprise, and at times filled me with pure glee.

[00:06:37] Now, story one, as an employee where their job is to do everything his boss says. Kind of sounds like everybody else. Like everybody. But there's a little difference. Such as what he eats for breakfast, when and what time he fucks his wife,

[00:06:57] and even hospitalized and kill someone because he just asked him to do it. But for doing these things, he gets a mansion, fabulous gifts, the love of said boss, and when he says no to his boss, one time after 10 years,

[00:07:16] he gets fired, unloved, and more importantly, on Mackenrode. But he will do whatever it takes to get his job back. And I mean anything to get this job back. Because he doesn't want to lose his job. I mean, this is like literally the best job you could have.

[00:07:37] He goes to the office and sits there and just waits for his boss to tell him to do something. And then he does it. And he gets a mansion, he gets a hot wife, and he gets anything he wants. Sweet. This literally was the best job.

[00:07:54] Like that's what I want to do. Sometimes I might have to have sex with my boss or whatever. But I get a mansion and a sweet car and anything I want. It's fair trade off. More than fair, really. I think so.

[00:08:08] So story two has a cop whose wife was missing on a deserted island, I think, and thought lost. But when she returns unexpectedly, he thinks she is replaced by someone or something else

[00:08:25] with a videotape scene better than any videotape scene that has ever been made in the history of movies. And maybe Bryce will talk a little bit about that videotape scene. I'm not sure.

[00:08:37] And a whole testing that he puts her through makes you wonder if he is crazy or is he correct? But all the while, the story goes places you never see coming and gets weirder and more hilarious as the story progresses. Now, story three. Yes.

[00:08:57] The last story is, I think, a sex cult mystery where Jesse and Emma are looking to find a twin who can bring people back to life that has a surprise ending that is too good to believe.

[00:09:13] And where we get the coolest dance from Emma Stone you have ever seen, which also happens to be in the trailer. So if you see the dance in the trailer, it's kind of at the end of the movie, but it's worth the wait to get there.

[00:09:28] All of these stories are woven by weird and wacky characters, events and concepts that make big reveals that make any M. Night Shyamalan movie look like child's play compared to these ones that Yogos pulls off.

[00:09:44] Even though I was kind of tired and exhausted when the film, when we got out of the cinema at 1 20 in the morning, I laughed a lot and wanted this movie to never stop. I was exhausted.

[00:09:59] I don't know how I stayed up, but I could have stayed up for another two hours. This movie was Mondo. I've got unpacking to do. But what do you got to say about kinds of kindness? Yeah, Yorgos Lanthimos.

[00:10:13] He's just I don't understand how he can just come up with such original stuff every time. None of his movies look anything like the previous one. No, they're all completely different. Yeah, he's just like he's kind of amazing.

[00:10:31] There's no director on the planet that makes such different stuff every single time. Yeah, I mean, some of the people that we have is undoubted. Like you think of P.T. Anderson or Wes Anderson or any of the Andersons. Yes, like they have a style.

[00:10:46] There's a style and he doesn't have a style. No, he just he's like you compare five different films. You show someone five different films of his. And there's not maybe you can make it case for the absurdism between like the lobster in this. I mean, yeah.

[00:11:04] Also, like, I mean, there's a little bit of absurd in Killing of a Sacred Deer. There is. Like maybe the absurdity. It's almost. The absurd humor is there for the most part in most of them, but they're all so, so different.

[00:11:17] Like I think there's somewhat there's always a tongue very firmly placed in cheat. Yeah. In every single one of his movies. And the humor is very subversive. It's subversive. It's subtle at times. Sometimes it's so in your face. It's ridiculous.

[00:11:35] Yeah, it actually and it can go from like one spectrum to the you know, one end of the spectrum to the other end of the spectrum and like within like exactly within seconds. This movie was absolute genius. Every single frame was enjoyable.

[00:11:49] Like I there's not many times where you sit in a movie and you're just absolutely giddy to be watching this movie through the entire thing. And it's so funny. Yeah, like this is comedy. Yeah, this is how comedy should be. It's very dark black comedy.

[00:12:08] Like it's very like all the things that are happening in it. There's some fucked up weird shit that are happening to these people. And it's some of it's terrible. Oh, absolutely. But it's hilarious. It's hilarious.

[00:12:19] Especially when like they have this cult that they're in and one of the stories and like it's kind of a cult. But at the same time, it's like this this journey that they have to do. And you don't even know why the drill.

[00:12:33] And that's the whole thing with every one of these stories. You're introduced to characters, you know, the characters. Yeah, but you're not 100 percent sure of what the situation really is. Yeah, because you're not 100 percent sure of how like in the first story. How is this job like happening?

[00:12:54] And how does he make money? What is the how has he got so much money that he can make all these things happen? Like you don't know. And it doesn't matter. No, it doesn't. Because it's so damn entertaining.

[00:13:05] But you know, that's I think again, like because he's poking fun at society a lot. Yeah, like a lot at his films. This one is like the ultra rich, right? Like he's just pointing at the ultra rich is just like they have so much money.

[00:13:21] They can hire people to just do whatever they want when they want them to do it. Like and even the end of that one, he climbs into bed with them and says, I had faith in this one. It's like I'm keeping this one.

[00:13:37] It's like 10 years and he's and he's back. But some of the things some of the things that I had listed, I want to pack. I haven't given my rating yet. Oh, yeah. It's Mondo because yeah, yeah. And Jesse Plemons just continues to blow me away.

[00:13:50] Yeah, I mean, he's on screen. I just just love this guy. But yes, this movie was Mondo. And it's funny because both of them, I think we had Plemons on at one time on Mesmerizing, but he got punted early in his career. And so did Emma.

[00:14:06] Well, Emma went up against. I don't remember. Olivia Coleman. Oh, yeah, that's rough. Yeah, that's rough against anybody. Let's face it. You know, with which was in a Your Girl's Length the most movie. Yeah, it wasn't. But the videotape scene, we have to talk about the video.

[00:14:27] So there's so there's in the one scene where the cop is. He's he's got a partner and they're very, very, very, very close. And you don't know yet that Emma Stone's character who is his wife in it that she's actually missing. You don't know that.

[00:14:44] Like you think she's dead the way that they're the way they're kind of that she's probably dead. And so they go to dinner together really wants to watch this video. Yeah, I keep saying, you know, is it OK if we watch the video together?

[00:14:56] And they're like, they're kind of going like they're kind of like, you know, be a little uncomfortable, uncomfortable. We're kind of just sitting there going like, hey, what video could cause this much discomfort?

[00:15:06] So they go and sit down in the video room and it's it's as group sex scene with the four. Of course, Emma Stone's not there. It was literally the best scene. Like it comes like these are the kind of reveals that, you know, M.

[00:15:20] Knight was kind of known for. But when you see it the way it's just so much more brilliant. Oh, my God. Yeah. So that's one the scene where so again, same same short in this one. The shorts were probably all about an hour each three hours roughly.

[00:15:40] So there's a scene where he knows he thinks his wife is not his wife. Yes. So he's trying to test her. And so he asks her, he says, you know what? I want you to make she's like, do you want me to make you something?

[00:15:54] Yeah, I want you to cut your thumb off and then cook it up for me and I'll eat it with some with some cauliflower. And then you kind of think, OK, well, obviously she's going to leave him or whatever. No, she does it.

[00:16:07] Just chops your thumb off, chops her thumb off and serves it to him with some cauliflower. Actually looked like a really nice meal. And of course, you know, after chopping your thumb off, you're going to you're going to faint because that's just what's going to happen.

[00:16:18] Yeah. So yeah, she faints. But, you know, when she comes through, she fries it up and serves it to her. She wipes, wraps her hand up in a way she goes. He didn't even eat it though. Yeah.

[00:16:28] You know, the other thing is the characters in each, even though there's got that quirkiness to it, they're all so different in every single one. Like each one of them, it's every single person that's in every movie is in every other movie.

[00:16:41] And sometimes they're smaller bit parts, sometimes they're not. But all the way it's it's Plemons and Stone that are the primary characters in each one of them. And then the second most secondary would be What's His Face? You know, What's His Face? Willem Dafoe? Yeah, that's the one.

[00:17:01] Yeah. Good old What's His Face. He's in it a lot. He's like the secondary character for the three stories. He kind of, yeah. Did you not love the piano though? Like the whole musical score is this one piano.

[00:17:18] And it's like there's times where he's just like banging on the piano. And then sometimes it's just like bing. It's like one note. But I've never seen that and it transformed. To me, that was the tie in between all of the movies was the piano.

[00:17:33] It was like the score was the tie between them all together because none of them are related. No, no. Like here I thought there's going to be a way he's going to tie them all together. No, no.

[00:17:44] He just made three shorts and wanted to make a movie out of it. He had some of the best actors on the planet in the movie. Why not? Yeah. So good. Yeah. Just so, so good.

[00:17:55] Yeah. Well, we'll go through him on the list, which we weren't going to talk about because I think that may have made it for him. And seeing as how Murray hasn't seen two back to back and reviewed it, we might be safe. All right.

[00:18:12] So the second movie that we went to see, probably the biggest film maybe, I'm going to guess. Played at the most cinemas maybe is A Quiet Place Day One. I don't think anybody went to it. Maybe. Oh, A Quiet Place Day One. I'm all out of it.

[00:18:30] Yeah, no, no. What do you think of Horizon? I was thinking Horizon. Oh, yeah. That's not the biggest. OK. So first off, The Merman gave it a man. OK. Just so you know. So, you know, buddy road movies are not my favorite. I do know that.

[00:18:48] What's that you say? A Quiet Place? The road trip? Yes. This was a buddy road movie wrapped in a quiet place backdrop. What makes this one different than all other road trip buddy movies is this one had an awesome cat named Frodo.

[00:19:04] Although in Lord of the Rings buddy road trip movie, we did get a Frodo, but he's not a cat. So that makes this the only way that that's different is because both Frodo's one's a human. Well, one's not a human.

[00:19:19] One's actually a hobbit and the other's a cat. But also this has the most beautiful and mesmerizing person in the world as its primary star, Lupita Nwongo, who at one point in my life, I need to marry her because I'm so madly in love with her.

[00:19:37] Who happens to be dying of cancer when day one happens? This takes us on a journey to hopefully get us to enjoy a dying woman's final wish of having the best pizza in New York City as far as she's concerned.

[00:19:50] Before she either succumbs to her cancer or evil creatures from outer space devour her. She eats pizza or pizza face alien eats her. Let's face it, not every scene with the CGI in this is great.

[00:20:10] And it's not necessarily the greatest CGI you're ever going to see in any film. But what this film does is it captivates you with its amazing quietness in a very picturesque landscape of New York, which never has quiet any time when you're in New York.

[00:20:27] There's always a siren. There's always this or that. So that alone, like the cinematography, the green screen, the scenery in this is fantastically brilliant. Along with that, it has characters you deeply feel for and takes two unlikely people who normally would never interact,

[00:20:47] come together and share a journey that both are equally supported by an emotional support animal who happens to be named Frodo. This film is bleak. It's full of dread, but also full of hope and caring for our fellow man, slash person.

[00:21:03] It's a quiet place when it needs to be, but also a film that takes this franchise to a completely different place. A place that the other two in this franchise were not. It happens to be a Mondo. I love this film.

[00:21:16] And there are two amazing, well developed characters and their buddy road trip, which I normally don't give buddy road trip movies anything. But hi, man, if it's possible. So yeah, and the suspense was also so well done. I love this film.

[00:21:31] I love everything about it, especially love Lupito Nwongo because it's a character for her. Again, that is different than anything else she's done. Yeah. Yeah, I loved it. Really? Yeah, I really did. Yeah, I did. I like Lupito Nwongo. Yeah, she's brilliant. Did you like Frodo? Not really.

[00:21:57] It's because you're a dog person. I found this movie just boring. I loved it. I also found it's one of these deals where just don't show the monsters that early because they already know the monsters, though. But they just did nothing for me.

[00:22:15] They weren't the monsters weren't even really in it. They were in it too much. They were in it, but they're not really the story. Plus, let's maybe if you're going to put Jai Min Han Su in a movie, maybe put him in a movie. What was that?

[00:22:34] He was in it for like what three seconds? Yeah. He was in it a little bit at the beginning going shh. And then he was in it at the end.

[00:22:41] That was a bit of bait and switch because I thought it was going to be the two of them. Well, in case you didn't know, Daemon Han Su is also in the second one. Yeah, I did know that. I was aware of that. Okay, good.

[00:22:57] So now we know where he came from. Honestly, I thought this was terrible. I hated it. I didn't like anything about it. I don't understand how you can find this Mondo. I loved it. I loved every single thing. I loved her development of her character.

[00:23:13] I loved the fact that she was dying of cancer. Like the whole story is her, like it's just her journey to get her pizza. It's a story about finding the best pizza and getting to see it. I think the characters were so well developed.

[00:23:27] And the ending was completely predictable. Yeah, it was. But also, I'm glad that they did it. Like it's predictable, but other franchises might not have ended it that way. They would have done something stupid like, oh, let's find a cure for cancer.

[00:23:46] The aliens spit on her and she was cured of cancer. I loved everything about this movie. I was just so disappointed in this. I did not connect with any of it. What? It was not good. So you didn't find the character arc was interesting at all? Not really.

[00:24:04] See, I loved it. She was the only thing I liked in it, and she was in it like the whole time. Yeah, it's all her. To me, it wasn't really a quiet place movie. Yeah, well, it wasn't. All the things going on around her.

[00:24:18] Like you're talking about this giant character arc. I didn't really see that. I just saw. Oh, yeah. I mean, she's dying of cancer. She's angry at the world. And they show her. She's dying of cancer. She's accepted it. Yeah, she's accepted it. And you know what?

[00:24:37] It's a journey. Maybe you haven't been around enough people dying of cancer again. I wish that were true, Jim. I wish that were true. Okay, so to me, I thought it was good. But it's not, unfortunately. Because of that reason. I loved her arc.

[00:24:56] I thought that her journey to get that pizza and where she went with it and the fact that he was along for the ride. Frodo was there the whole time. Frodo was the second, in my opinion, the second star of this. I loved Frodo.

[00:25:12] Yeah, there was nothing about this movie I would have changed. Not one inch of it. I would have just changed one thing. What's that? You would have made it better? I would have just not made it at all. Oh, okay. Well, you know what?

[00:25:24] I'm not normally a fan of sequels. But like I look at this one as I didn't even really think of it as a quiet place. There was some quiet place moments. But it was a dying person of cancer trying to get the last pizza before she drops dead.

[00:25:38] Yeah, I didn't like it. And then she didn't even get the pizza. So then she realized that the best pizza is not necessarily the pizza itself, but who you're eating the pizza with. So yeah. Is that what she realized? Yes. Oh my God.

[00:25:56] Do we even watching this movie? I watched it. Okay. Apparently that was obvious to me. But yeah, yeah, I don't like it. Okay. Well, Murray predicted that you wouldn't like it. So probably because you kind of gave a big sigh.

[00:26:16] We talked about you give too much away to the Merman when we when we're seeing him. Yeah, maybe. Anyway. Yeah, there we go. So you know what? I'm kind of happy we both run either ends of the spectrum of that one. Like I just did not.

[00:26:32] And I didn't like I did not like the cast other than Lupita Nwongro I did not like the what's his name? The nurse dude or the guy that I like Alex Wolf and everything. He's awesome. The nurse dude is good. Yeah. But Joseph Quinn is the Eric. Eric.

[00:26:51] I think it was Eric. Eric. Yep. I didn't mind him at all. I kind of thought he was dorky, kind of a geek. He was a lost boy that's in New York City. He's a Londoner. He's going to end up dying in a country that's not his own.

[00:27:07] I thought his arc was also great. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't like maybe that's why I like this movie because it's not like a traditional buddy road trip movie. Maybe I don't even know why you're calling it a buddy. It was exactly what it was.

[00:27:22] They just walked around a little bit. That's what a road trip movie is. A buddy where they they're like weren't buddies and then they became buddies and then they walked around and traveled. It's like a road trip movie.

[00:27:32] Except instead of being in a car, they're road tripping through walking through New York. I didn't understand why he was following her like a puppy. Because he was a complete idiot. You saw his anxiety. That's the other thing that the cat helped him to.

[00:27:47] I understand that the cat helped. He was really following the cat. She basically saved his life. And then he got to save her life and then Frodo saved their lives. And there was a lot of life saving. He liked it. This movie is great.

[00:28:02] I think everybody should see it in the movie theaters, potentially in IMAX. It would have been better. You make it sound really good. Because it is really good. But it wasn't. You know what?

[00:28:11] I'm going to go see it again because we're only seeing two new movies this weekend. All right. So here's the real nugget that we've all been waiting for this movie to come to cinemas. I want to say for... Nobody's been waiting for this. What?

[00:28:29] What are you talking about? Do you know what people are rating this on IMDB, Bryce? Like two? No! Are you ready for this? I am. There's no way it's above a six. It is a 7.1. Oh, bullcrap. Yep. So Horizon, an American saga, chapter one. Now, so this was...

[00:28:52] First off, this was exactly what I expect that it was going to be. Kevin Costner trying to spew his ego onto the screen for three solid hours. The story was like a movie version of Kevin Costner's retelling of Little House on the Prairie. But it was Costner styled.

[00:29:09] The scenery is beautiful. In fact, if it wasn't for the scenery, there would be absolutely nothing about this film that was worth seeing at all. But was this even a film? I pose that to you all.

[00:29:24] The acting for the most part in this is completely brutal with terrible dialogue, but mostly the script. It's like it's assuming every single person watching was a complete idiot and every person in the movie was also a complete idiot.

[00:29:39] Who's saying each line of dialogue as an idiot would. The story is nothing new, but what makes it worse is that the music score is as canned and TV un-listenable as humanly possible.

[00:29:53] And it was made every scene which this was in two times longer than it should have been. Which made it two times, two times worse.

[00:30:03] On top of every scene being two times longer, it was 20 times more fakely, I'm putting this in heavy quotes, overly dramatic than any film version of a western scene prior to this film. Even the actors that have super talent. And I mean super talent.

[00:30:23] The absolutely once mesmerizing Will Patton is completely wasted and his character, even he doesn't even know how to act in this movie. I hated every single frame of this movie.

[00:30:34] Watching this for three hours was possibly the worst three hours I've ever spent in the cinema in my entire life. I pose that this is not a movie and should not be marketed as one.

[00:30:43] It is a mini series like Roots or Shogun or the Holocaust, mini series from the 70s if no one's aware of that. This ultimately was just the same as watching a TV show pilot on a big screen.

[00:30:55] A TV series that treats its viewers like they have no knowledge of history and how the West was colonized. This truly was a horrible experience and seeing Costner as an almost 70 year old, as an action star, love interest, was also horrific and unbelievable.

[00:31:13] On top of that, they were, I guess, practicing how many different terms you could have for the Indigenous community. Because they had a different term every five seconds in this film.

[00:31:25] And we are in a dust bowl and yet we have this chosen blonde girl with a white dress that stays white way too long. Or even if it should be white at all. Plus, forced love interest with Sam Worthington's character.

[00:31:43] A scene with this teenage Indigenous boy who's walking over to this revenge crew as they're lying on the ground was the worst continuity shot in the history of film history.

[00:31:57] Plus, he's going to shoot a bow and arrow at the guy with this gun and more and more and more and more and more. I could go on for three hours talking about every single scene and how it was broken down to be so completely awful.

[00:32:13] This film was the most horrible of all rages. It was a TV show. It was a horrible TV show. It was a pilot. It was a horrible, terrible rage of a pilot. And it was just the most terrible thing I've ever seen.

[00:32:29] I absolutely hated every single thing about this except the cinematography. Now, what did you think about it? I didn't even know what was going on. It was jumping through so many characters. There was like 40 characters and apparently they're all important. Because this is a five point series.

[00:32:46] But that's all this. This was three hours of introducing you to 40 characters. There was no, there's no story. We're just getting introduced to like 40 characters. But even the story is stupid. But then you would get introduced to these characters and I still don't know anything about them.

[00:33:00] I know they're annoying for the most part. I know that the dialogue is just probably as bad a written dialogue as I've seen in the movies in a while.

[00:33:10] And it was this weird information dump that at the end there was so much of it that I didn't even remember any of it.

[00:33:23] Because it was just, it was scene after scene after scene just introducing me to this guy and this girl and that guy and this girl. And then jumping back to them and then jump into this other thing. There must have been about 47 different stories going on in this.

[00:33:36] And how in the hell are these even going to tie together? And who the hell cares? Like I'm not going to remember any of them by the time part two comes out. Part two is coming out. There's going to be four parts to this.

[00:33:46] Yeah, we are not seeing this part two in cinema because this is not a movie. This is a TV show. Well yeah, this is a mini series. Yeah, it's not a TV. It's not a movie. It's a TV show. And it's a bad TV show.

[00:34:00] Like the fact that this has a 7.1 out of, maybe IMDB is rating out of 100 now. Is that why it's a 7.1? I don't know how it could be. Like this is, I guess what people who like Yellowstone, I don't understand Yellowstone either personally.

[00:34:22] But if people like westerns, maybe they'll like this. But you can't tell me this dialogue was made for people to have some original thought. It's just horrible. The IMDB rating is mostly the public. Well, the people that went to see this.

[00:34:38] Yeah, and I don't understand how they could give this such a good rating. I will say that I was kind of curious because I hated this so much that I'm like, okay, let's just look at a couple of critics and see what they thought of it.

[00:34:52] Because I was like, you know. And that's not normally something you do. No, it's not something I do. But I was so curious because I'm like, this has got to be absolutely just blasted by everybody. Because I know that something this bad could not possibly be.

[00:35:08] You know what? I was quite pleased to see that the critics are absolutely slamming it too. Because it is garbage. And they're out and out saying it just like we are. This is garbage. This is this giant passion project for Kevin Costner.

[00:35:24] And there is no direction to it. It is just, it's a TV show. Yeah. He just threw so much at this. They could have made these three, this three hour movie into three, like a pilot and two other series. So this could have been a 10 part series.

[00:35:43] And you know, when you hear, I mean, because when we go to the movies, they actually have the actors talk about the films now in front of it. Because they're kind of maybe that thinking that people want to see that. And sometimes it's kind of cool.

[00:35:55] But they're like, but you know, a couple of them like Luke Wilson and then we're talking about the fact. Yeah, Kevin's vision is so brilliant on this because, you know, this is what it was really like.

[00:36:04] No, this is not what, nothing about this was anything about what the real West was like. None of it. No one would wear a white dress in the wild, like a pure white dress that they're living in a fucking dust bowl.

[00:36:18] And this little girl who has no character development all of a sudden is now the darling of this entire army. Like it was just every single scene made me angry. And then what is with the five minutes at the end of it?

[00:36:32] It's like a five minute trailer of what's to come. Like I was wondering, is it a trailer or is it like now it's kind of fast forwarded through all that. And then we start. No, that's not that's all going to be stuff in part two. I guarantee it.

[00:36:46] It's just that that was so bizarre though. It's like what in the hell is going on? But you know what I did when my wife and I because I, you know, I have to give a big props to my wife.

[00:36:56] By the way, by the way, this was a raid. Oh yeah. Thank you. I have to give props to my wife because when you're not around and I force her to go see these movies,

[00:37:05] I try and think of ones that maybe, you know, but every single one I take her to seems to be like they get worse. The whole time in this movie she was going, what the fuck is this? Like she did not shut up through the whole movie.

[00:37:18] And I'm like, I'm perfectly happy with you talking to me because listening to you is making me a little bit of joy. She's just like, oh my God, this is so terrible. And coming out of it, she was like, I don't even this is yeah.

[00:37:30] People do not see this movie. Yes. Like if you really like Kevin Costner, which would surprise me why anybody could then, you know, go watch TV shows. And when this gets on TV, maybe watch it. But even then, I'm saying it's terrible because it's awful.

[00:37:47] All right. Well, let's go from that to maybe a movie that's maybe not as terrible. It's called Protocol Seven. Wow. This film, which may for all intensive purposes have valuable technical data about mumps vaccines and maybe all vaccines for all I know.

[00:38:11] But what what was needed for this to be valuable for anyone who sees it is an actual documentary with actual facts proving facts.

[00:38:24] Because this was actually more like a retelling of this, for lack of a better word, story, which was the absolute worst film for every possible reason you can imagine. The story is weak. The backup for the arguments are basically one situation.

[00:38:44] And again, it may it may be correct, but the acting, the acting by every single person in this is horrible, as well as the direction, the production values and everything that makes up a real movie.

[00:38:59] On top of that, you have Eric Roberts as your star, which he's not even really in it that long.

[00:39:06] It goes from scene to scene telling basically just a five page five page dissertation of a court case about Merrick, a vaccine manufacturer and even says it made this movie only to get us viewers to do research and bring us wisdom. OK, that that may be valuable.

[00:39:27] I'm not going to I'm not going to argue with that. But I kind of wished I watched a 90 minute five page dissertation that I read on screen and asking me to read stuff online. That's coming to this horrible, horrible, horrible excuse for a film.

[00:39:46] This film was horrific and painful. And I will remember the name Andrew Wakefield, the director and writer, and hopefully we'll never have to see another one of his films ever again.

[00:39:58] This was I thought that after seeing the Kevin Costner movie, there wasn't possibly another movie I could see, let alone on the same weekend. But in theaters this year, that could be possibly as bad as the Kevin Costner movie. Well, guess what, Kevin Costner?

[00:40:15] This was worse than your movie and it's called Protocol Seven. Yeah, it was it was awful. It's it's just I don't even know how to describe it. It is an absolute just propaganda machine.

[00:40:32] It's trying to paint all vaccinations with one brush because of one company that, you know, and it doesn't even and it even admits that it doesn't really have all the facts. So, yeah, I don't know what to even believe in this movie.

[00:40:54] I mean, did you go to the website, by the way? No, I'm not going to the website. I don't I don't I don't want to be these guys.

[00:41:04] I mean, this ever there was a movie with just the most in your face agenda that's ever been like the fact that it's limited releases because they're just trying to like I can't imagine anybody distributing this like widespread because it's it's so awful. The acting is awful.

[00:41:21] Everybody in it is awful. It just shows you how desperate Eric Roberts is that he would even be in this. I know, but maybe he's a big time anti-vaxxer. Yeah, maybe I imagine that anybody that isn't an anti-vaxxer. Yeah.

[00:41:36] And that's the whole thing that this is the movie that if you're an anti-vaxxer, you're going to think it's the greatest thing that's ever been and you're going to tell all your friends about it.

[00:41:44] You're going to try to get as many people to watch it as you can. But it's not the proof and it's one situation. And even at that, we don't know all the facts there either. And it's just it's just wrong that this gets made.

[00:42:00] I can we just talk about the lawyer in the in the I don't know who that actor was what frumpy guy with bald guy. I know him. He was he was terrible. It was the other guy. Oh, the one that was his. I object.

[00:42:16] I like I've never heard anybody say I object as badly in a in a form of acting. I object. I'm just like, what is happening right now? Anyways, just just avoid this film at all costs. I don't think we should really talk about it anymore.

[00:42:33] I it's I yeah, this is not it's not good. It's just not good. It's what's rage. Oh, it's a rage. As you say, just when you thought that it couldn't get any worse after watching Horizon, here comes protocol seven.

[00:42:54] All right. Well, we're you know, normally we don't like to do this, but because usually like to end on a juicy rage. But we're going to talk about. Oh, wait, I don't even know what you thought about Daddy. Because we didn't see this together. We also saw Daddy.

[00:43:07] Oh, so another road trip, New York movie. Man, how convenient is that? But this time it's in a cab with the mesmerizing Sean Penn, which he is absolutely mesmerizing in this film. But what it doesn't have is it doesn't have Frodo. No, it doesn't.

[00:43:28] The whole story takes place in the cab as Penn drops Dakota Johnson off from the airport to her place in Midtown. The dialogue feels real and has vulnerability from both actors, albeit Johnson is completely destroyed by Penn's brilliance.

[00:43:45] This there's a sharing of some of their most personal moments in their lives and mixed in. You get you get to really know what each of them is coming from. But it felt as if I watched and I still didn't fully get developed characters. I'm not sure why.

[00:44:04] And maybe you have an explanation for that, but I felt that we got information, but the characters still didn't feel developed enough for me. At least I didn't feel it. The story and conversations was was was pretty good.

[00:44:16] And it ended kind of good for what this movie was. I didn't hate it. It was a man. Yeah, Sean Penn is absolutely brilliant in it. The dialogue is really, really good.

[00:44:32] There there's I can't say that at any point when I'm watching it, I was bored at all. Right. I'm considering that this whole thing just took place in a cab. That's pretty impressive. Yeah, it was very well written.

[00:44:45] But I and maybe I got to get over this Dakota Johnson thing, but I cannot stand her. And this is as good as she's ever been. Yeah, but she still annoyed the hell out of me. And I just I can't get over it.

[00:44:59] It can't be just her like like you must have felt like that. I felt as I was watching it. OK, yeah, this is the story. But I didn't I didn't feel and there's a point in the movie and this is you know my test. It's Jim Crybaby test.

[00:45:13] We get to the point where I should have been crying. I wasn't crying. And maybe it's because I didn't feel the characters were as developed. Am I missing something like the dialogue? The dialogue was there, but I do.

[00:45:24] I think the characters were developed enough for two people that are just meeting each other. So I don't you know what? How are you going to develop the characters anymore in a conversation between two people in a cab that that have just met each other?

[00:45:39] Because why would they reveal more than but they did they did reveal they did reveal a lot they revealed. But that's what I mean is and I don't know if it's because it's in a cab. I think it's because Dakota Johnson's poopy.

[00:45:52] It could be, but I think I honestly in my opinion, I didn't have a problem with the character development myself. I thought it was fine. I thought I knew both of them good enough.

[00:46:04] The thing is, I like this movie and I think I would have loved this movie if anybody else was cast opposite Sean Penn. I really do. I don't think that this Dakota Johnson is a very good actress.

[00:46:18] I can't and then to have her on screen with Sean Penn was almost ridiculous because he just just destroys her with every line. Yeah, it's I mean, this is this like you can top of Penn's game on this. Yeah. And he's so good.

[00:46:36] But and maybe that just it just shines like it's like it's like when you have any super strong actor that there's only the two of them. There's only the two of them in the whole movie, really. So but you know what?

[00:46:47] At the end of the day, Dakota Johnson wasn't so bad that it destroyed it for me. I enjoyed it. It was a man, but I think it could have been better with someone else.

[00:46:56] And as I said with your character, I had no problem with how well developed the characters were though. Yeah, I didn't I didn't feel it. I don't I don't know. Like they had they had the dialogue. They had the but I didn't feel emotionally connected.

[00:47:11] I don't know why it didn't feel like it was like, yeah, okay. I'm enjoying this dialogue. I can't understand the words that are coming out of their their mouths, but I wasn't enjoying I didn't I didn't feel I didn't have the feels through the entire conversation.

[00:47:24] And so that was that's a measurement stick for me. I know in regards to character development in contrast to the problem with me is I never feel anything anyways. Yeah, it's true. So you're so less. Exactly. But yeah, it was it was okay. It was a man.

[00:47:44] I tend to agree with you. I really like Sean Penn. Wow. By the way, this is the best Sean Penn's been in like probably 10 years. Yeah, like I thought he was a really, really good in this. Sean Sean Penn hasn't been in a lot. No, he hasn't.

[00:47:57] But and he's always good. But this was this was next level this. I just wish she had someone to bounce off of that was up to up to the task up to the Sean Pennism. Yeah, you know, like maybe Veronica Cartwright. Maybe right.

[00:48:15] But she would not really fit the role. Yeah, based on what the race on what the role is. She's a little too old for this a little bit. Maybe Lepidu Nwongo if Lepidu Nwongo was in there, maybe also in New York.

[00:48:28] She got she got to the boat dock and left Frodo with the dude that got on the boat. And then she got in a cab with Sean Penn. And that's what anyways, I would have been good.

[00:48:40] So the only the only one that we were at odds with was a quiet place. Yeah, we were literally. Yeah. And we miss Marie is going to be gone for a little while. So get used to that people. All right. We yeah. Yeah, we have a trailer.

[00:49:00] So Aaron and yeah, Aaron and Kevin from the podcast that wouldn't die. We're going to play their trailer right now. All right. Go ahead. Welcome to the podcast that wouldn't die. I'm your host, Kevin. With me as always is Aaron. What up? What up?

[00:49:23] Each week, we'll explore the classics of the horror and sci fi genre with a little comedic twist. We will ask those important questions like why don't they get out of a haunted house the first time they see the ghost or the demon?

[00:49:36] Why do people feel like, hey, there's been a spooky disappearance, but I'm going to investigate myself even though I have no investigative background. Or why didn't I realize I was dead the whole time? These important questions and many others we will get to the bottom of.

[00:49:52] So check us out each week at the podcast that wouldn't die. Be there or be square. All those boys are fun. All right then. Temperature rising, vision blurring, rage taking over. Oh, sweet, sweet rage.

[00:50:39] Oh, you know, my rage this week in case you hadn't guessed it is you went to a cult, a nudist cult in the middle of BC. And you didn't take me because you know me and my nudist cults.

[00:51:03] Like if I'm going to join a cult, it's going to be either a sex cult or be a nudist cult. And then you could have just left me there. Yeah, it was pretty cool though.

[00:51:14] I went down into the valley where the where the disc golfing was through playing some disc golf. Yeah, you were. First thing you see is this giant vagina sculpture. Did you get a picture? Did you get a picture you could share with us?

[00:51:28] I can post it on our on our social media. We weren't taking pictures. We weren't no phones. We didn't do anything. We just played and. Just got back to nature, got back to nature, took your clothes off and started disc golfing. Hung out with the dog.

[00:51:42] It was a good weekend. Even though it rained more than it would have been, it would have been nice. And there were a lot of freaking mosquitoes. You know what? You go to the woods, you're going to find mosquitoes.

[00:51:53] Did you did you see anything that had a violent nature in the woods while you were there? No, there was lots of goats though because they have goats there. Oh, did they do goat yoga?

[00:52:04] Yeah, that's why you're supposed to keep the dog on a leash because it's the goats. But, you know, we didn't always keep the dog on a leash. The goats were up the hill. You did bring the goats down on Canada Day though. Sweet.

[00:52:17] And the goats came down to have some to eat. And it was kind of funny. Like, come on, goats, come up the hill, have something to eat. The goats were not. It's like, come on, goats, what are you doing? You're going the wrong way.

[00:52:32] So then he had to come down and lead them up the hill. It was pretty entertaining. Sounds awesome. Yeah, so I mean, I'm really not too upset about that because that sounds like a pretty good trip. But it was a good trip.

[00:52:44] Ultimately, my rage is Kevin Costner and that protocol. Like any form of conversion film. Yeah, you know what? Give me the facts. But don't sit there and just absolutely twist things and try to convert me to your way of thinking. I'm not that dumb.

[00:53:05] Yeah, well, I don't think anybody is that dumb. But don't make a movie like, you know what it is to me? It was like, I've got a weekend. So I'm just going to get my friends to film this terrible dialogue that is just a dissertation.

[00:53:20] And instead of like an actual documentary on this would have probably taken three to four years of research and development and backstory. But it's like, it's so much easier. I got a couple million bucks and I want people to be anti-vaxxers like me.

[00:53:35] So I'm going to make this movie and then just put my website on the end of the movie and say, you know what? Yeah, I know this is a terrible movie, but just go to my website and I'll convert you.

[00:53:46] And then Kevin Costner, like stay on TV where you belong. That's it. Those are my two, two and a half rages. That's fair. All right. Now Jim's pointing at your your ghost Lanthimos's picture out to me for some reason.

[00:54:32] Like I'm not going to read you about your ghost Lanthimos. What's wrong with you? Rage can be a positive rage. You're raging boner for your ghost Lanthimos. Really? We're going to talk about your ghost after the rages. Oh, that you're just trying to tell me. Okay.

[00:54:44] I've already got that pulled up. What am I? What am I new? You seem new to me every week. Anyways, my rage is pretty much the same as yours. In fact, the protocol sevens thing. It's just like, dear God, just give me the facts.

[00:55:03] Don't sit there and try to convince me of anything. And it's just, I hate movies with, with, with, with, not even hidden. It's not even hidden.

[00:55:12] And here's the worst part is they kept on saying how, how, how, you know, how they kind of pride themselves that, oh yeah, we're showing both sides of story. No, you're not.

[00:55:22] You're showing one thing and pounding it and basing it on one incident and trying to paint that with that with as if that's how every drug company is. I didn't know like so what again, you don't when movies like this, you don't even know the facts.

[00:55:40] No, but what would surprise me is that the CDC or whoever makes the judgment on medications would allow people to self test. It's like, oh yeah, all of our tests are good. Okay, we can like, isn't that done by a third party?

[00:55:55] It's gotta be like I'm confused by it all. Yeah, like, but if you're trying to tell this story the way you want to tell this story, then it's not. That's not how it does. You just tested themselves and they go, hey, trust us. Yeah, then they go.

[00:56:09] Yeah, okay. We trust you. No, that's not how it works. Let's go make some spectrum kids spectrum babies. Some spectrum babies. So yeah, that's that. Reach subsiding. Plus sawing. Inger feeding.

[00:56:33] All right, we got a bit of a change up here just because, you know, we were going to have Murray had a charge for us to watch. But we're going to wait until Murray gets back before we add the list.

[00:56:43] However, we've been waiting for your ghost to have his most recent movie come out. So we're just going to go through these quickly to make sure we got to eat.

[00:56:54] Well, I think we do have eight because we had we almost had eight before, but we literally couldn't find anywhere to find to watch my best friend if memory serves me correct. That was what held us up. And also this is actually his ninth.

[00:57:07] Yeah, but also he doesn't list that movie. Yeah, yeah, as his. Yeah. So here we go. So let's go backwards in time. Kinds of kindness. We both gave Mondo. Murray gave it a man. So far, while we've raged, then we would be changed things a bit.

[00:57:24] Poor things was Mondo. Mondo. The favorite was Mondo. Mondo. Killing the sacred deer was Mondo. The lobster. Mondo. Alps is Mondo. Dog Tooth is Mondo. And Kaneta was Me. So that's eight. That's eight. Right? Yeah, we watched Kaneta. Yeah, we did. It was an interesting little watch.

[00:57:47] Yeah, and it doesn't matter if we do finally ever get to see My Best Friend, which I completely want to see with you. Yes. Which makes sense. Yes. Making the connection, Jim. Yeah. So then it won't matter because it's nine back anyway. It's nine back anyways.

[00:58:04] It could be total poo poo and it doesn't matter. It could be the worst movie we've ever seen, but he doesn't count it as part of his vision because it was a shared directorial event. That's fair. So, and just so you know, Yes?

[00:58:20] he has something in development called the Hawk Line Monster, which sounds awesome. The Hawk Line Monster. Yes, and... Begonia. Begonia. Which sounds like a flower to me. Huh. And guess who's in it? Jesse Plemons. Jesse Plemons. And Emma Stone.

[00:58:40] And then the Hawk Line Monster, we have no clue yet. But it's a fantasy horror western. So we'll have a good comparison between Yorgos Lanthimos' vision of a western and Kevin Costner's vision of a western. Begonia sounds awesome. Doesn't it? Two conspiracy-obsessed young men

[00:59:00] kidnap the high-powered CEO of a major company, convinced that she is an alien intent on destroying planet Earth. I'm already dialed in. This is going to be fantastic. Wait. Once again, he's doing something completely different. He's doing a sci-fi now. Whoa.

[00:59:21] Well, I guess the lobster's kind of sci-fi. Eh, kind of. Eh, it doesn't matter. Whatever. Yorgos Lanthimos, you are officially undoubted. Gee, what a shock. Yeah, no surprise. What a shock. Thank God we've been waiting forever for that. Yeah. Great. Anything else? Yeah, I think that's it.

[00:59:42] We don't have anybody to... We're not going to be seeing any new movies until the Mer comes back. So yeah, that's it. We got no Rage or Dare this week, but Casey's back next week. Murray won't be because it's the Calgary Stampede. Right. Right.

[00:59:58] So yeah, that's all we got. All right. So thanks, Ragers, for listening. Thanks to the extended FilmRage family who you can find in our show notes. Thanks to Casey, our God of Rage, from the Naked Photographer, for the voice of Rager Dare.

[01:00:12] And as I said, Casey will be back with a rage-full vengeance next week. Find us on social media everywhere at FilmRageYYC. Check out everything at FilmRageYYC.com, including our merch site for RimmelBowl and TeePublic, where I was wanting to make this a raging blast for all listeners.

[01:00:26] So please comment, like, and subscribe and send us emails to FilmRageCalgary.com There's a sea of terrible movies to fuel our rage, but no matter what you do, please, please, please, pretty please, please, please, make us aware. Breakdown. Yeah.