Episode 234 - A Tale of Two Kitties

[00:00:00] It's time to feel the rage.

[00:00:09] Welcome to Film Rage where we talk movies in theaters, streaming and classic films as

[00:00:13] well.

[00:00:15] Directors and actors beware as you cannot hide from the rage.

[00:00:19] My name is Bryce and I'm part of the Film Rage crew which also includes Jim.

[00:00:23] Hey there Jim.

[00:00:24] Hey hey Bryce! or rating on your listening platform, or support us and join the FilmRage community by joining our membership at buymeacoffee.com forward slash FilmRage YOAC. If you cannot commit to membership, you can still buy us a movie or rental and dare us to see a terrible film. And we'll watch it if it played anywhere in the world, in a cinema, and is not a movie made for children. Now it can be childish,

[00:01:41] but not made specifically for children to enjoy.

[00:01:45] Now, let's get to Ragin. Sure. Call CMC at 403-670-5444 to book a special event or go online at canyonmetalsinnimas.ca There's always a Liam Neeson movie playing. He's got a new one coming up. Fuck me now.

[00:03:00] Another action movie.

[00:03:01] Yeah, he's got a terrible one out on Amazon right now too.

[00:03:04] Ugh, I don't like Liam Neeson.

[00:03:07] You've made it clear. Was a medical drama. Oh no, wait, it wasn't. This had some medical drama in it. I don't know if it was real or if this was all made up or there are actually women who suffer from this. Yes, it's a thing. The director of it. I have honestly never heard of it.

[00:04:20] But I will say Emily Hampshire is in it.

[00:04:24] There you go.

[00:04:26] And as far as I can tell, I love Emily Hampshire.

[00:04:28] But really? Matthew Vaughn is one of my favorite. I realize Matthew Vaughn is your favorite, but I was sitting in the theater with you when we saw it, and I heard some of your comments. So based on the fact that it's an action movie, that it stars Bryce Dallas Howard, who apparently you have a problem with, but I don't. What? I do. Is that a spoiler?

[00:05:40] And there's a cat in it.

[00:05:41] It's a pussy. And this is a similar this is nothing like are you freaking kidding me? You know what we're not talking about We're talking about a different today. You go we're talking about fitting in oh Is it me yeah, and this has a bit of a double entendre with the word fitting in Right yeah

[00:07:02] There's something called something it was what was it called originally when it was touring the festivals

[00:08:02] That doesn't really fit the movie. No, it doesn't.

[00:08:06] It's actually not even anything about the movie. So that makes sense that they changed it.

[00:08:10] But I, you know what? It would have driven me to see it. I would have been more excited.

[00:08:17] Exactly. I would have thought there would be blood. And hell. And hell. Well, there's kind of hell. And maybe demons. From her perspective, maybe. Dan, there was there was an extreme lack of blood because, you know. Yeah. Anyway, time's a waste of getting on with it.

[00:08:22] Speaking of that, maybe you should tell us a little about what this movie's about, other than about the pussy.

[00:09:27] Yeah, she was great. I'm not a big fan of Emily Hampshire apparently someone else at this. I am she's awesome. She was okay

[00:09:32] She's in like every you say she's just in sex with I think she's just in every Canadian like she's kept

[00:09:38] As well yes, well that's actually leaned over and said where is she I'm like she's like Captain Canada She's like in every independent

[00:09:40] She's literally been in like every

[00:09:43] every year

[00:09:45] She's had a film at sif like almost every year

[00:10:47] Well, as Bryce has kind of already alluded, this is a unique coming of age film in that it talks openly about the body in ways that other films may shy away from.

[00:10:52] The story is basically a young 16 year old who finds out she does not have a uterus

[00:10:58] or most of her vagina on the inside.

[00:11:01] From there, we get a lot of challenges that most young women may have also to overcome. And to be honest, it got boring and a bit draggy. I was. I agree with it. Was a refreshing look at this type of film and lead, as we talked about, Maddie Ziegler did a fantastic job. I really liked her. You know, the problem that she has, Marie, she has to stretch out her vagina like a muscle.

[00:12:21] Yeah.

[00:12:22] So, so as a person with a very small penis,

[00:12:24] I would have loved to have dated a girl like that when I first started

[00:12:28] dating. on such a wonderful, poignant scene. It was so cool, like the message that was being given in that scene, like everything was just perfect. And then it just kept on going. Yeah, and you know, I don't know about you, but like the humor for the first, I wanna say, I say a third, but maybe it was more like a quarter. And it was almost rapid fire for the first third.

[00:13:42] We were killing ourselves laughing.

[00:13:43] There was a lot, and then-

[00:13:45] So he was saying all the funny parts were in the trailer.

[00:13:48] No, no, she was great

[00:15:04] I don't know that everybody else was everybodyie. Yeah, Maddie was tremendous Emily was pretty good She was herself. She's what she does always she was adequate. Yeah, it wasn't her movie Captain Canada, it wasn't her movie. She's my mother. She's a supporting character a pretty big support Yeah, she wasn't it was yeah about his biggest supporting character that she is definitely at the second most screen time. Yep

[00:16:26] It's good. All right got Cena, Cavill, and the once mesmerizing Sam Rockwell and motherfucking try to work their way through this slog of a film. It became a big chore. And I just I just can't pretend that I Go first or last just putting that out there if you're not last your first No, if you're not first you're last. I don't I don't go in the middle 90% of the movies you guys watch I don't go to so you're gonna

[00:20:23] This time I just happened to see it because I was looking forward to this yes Yes, I was looking for I love the sign if you're the star. She's fine. I know Jim doesn't like her I'm assuming Bryce doesn't either apparently she's the same name I like Bryce I happen to disagree. I like her acting and She's the daughter of my favorite all-time director Opie Cunningham

[00:21:41] Yes, I liked her in the village lady in the water cutting him in the Jurassic World movies. I liked her in those look

[00:22:42] I want that I have a problem with big girls. I'm a little more fluffy myself.

[00:22:44] It just didn't fit with her character.

[00:22:48] It just didn't.

[00:22:49] It was very distracting to watch her because she was overweight and tried to do all this

[00:22:54] martial arts, which she actually does know how to do by the way.

[00:22:57] Okay, the movie.

[00:22:59] For the most part, this film was insane.

[00:23:03] Waltawall action, Sam I gave it a mondo. There you go. Whoa, you said all those negative things and it's still a mondo? It's still a mondo. Oh man. Because Henry Cavill's on there. Because I'm not as harsh as you. You are. Well, yeah, but we've had this brand new Murray that's like totally negative.

[00:24:22] I like Bryce Dallas Howard.

[00:24:23] Yeah, what happened to that?

[00:24:24] What happened to that?

[00:24:25] What happened to that?

[00:24:26] You're like raging and now all of a sudden no problem with a silly film that is entertaining but Vaughn makes forgettable tripe that is that has no at no point gets within all the lists Murray gave us a couple weeks ago? Garfield 2? Yeah Garfield 2 is gonna make this look like... Sonic the Hedgehog 3? Yeah they're gonna be fantastic compared to this garbage. Sign me up for Sonic the Hedgehog 3. I don't want to watch any more Matthew Vaughn. He's

[00:27:02] terrible. The guy is awful. He needs off to an easy start. I honestly thought after ten minutes, I might not hate this. That's because you had Henry Cav to work with here. Like, have you ever seen Samuel L. Jackson in a movie where his character was this underdeveloped? I mean, you've got Samuel L. Jackson and this is what you write him?

[00:29:41] Like, that just makes me angry right there.

[00:29:44] What are you doing?

[00:29:46] You've got Sam Jackson. Please don't tell me this is Bryce Dallas Howard's list of your favorite movies that she's done. No, but I almost did that Matthew Vaughn. Okay. Well, that would have been okay with me. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk football. Football? Football.

[00:31:00] Okay.

[00:31:01] Football movies.

[00:31:02] As most sports fans know.

[00:31:04] Oh, there's something super happening this weekend.

[00:31:06] This weekend is a big game.

[00:31:07] Yeah, it's the Super Bowl? That's huge! What I care about is the team from San Francisco, which I've hated for 30 some years. I hope they never win another championship. Anyway, so if anybody out there is like me,

[00:32:23] there are always football movies.

[00:32:26] Oh!

[00:32:27] Yes, there is.

[00:32:28] We got to the movie part of it. all right all right all right Denzel Washington Donald Faison Hayden Pan Terry Ryan Gosling the gauze and Will Hatton yeah I know that yeah I remember the Titans actually was okay I I'm gonna backtrack yes here comes all right all

[00:33:40] right all right Marshall another sports movie based on a true story I'm gonna been told it's good. I would say it's got the Fonz Henry Wing. Yes. Eddie's so good. So there's that it's it's the best it's the story of the social it's mostly awkward. About 31 year old Bobby Boucher Bobby Boucher whose greatest strength is doling out hydration to college football player.

[00:35:00] Yes, that is until he's had enough of being bullied and he

[00:35:02] snaps discovers he has a talent for sacking quarterback. Yes. requiring the number one pick he spends the day wheeling and dealing a lot of wheeling and dealing and Alan Alan Burston yes plays his recently widowed other uh-huh Jennifer Garner plays his pregnant girlfriend who also works for him that part of the story Franklin Gela is the team owner he was excellent

[00:36:20] Dennis Leary is the coach he is okay Chadwick Boseman is one of the young

[00:36:25] players he was very good yes it. Sure. Circumcised for the film. Is that true?

[00:37:43] How many football movies have you seen? The shower method.

[00:37:46] I don't think there was a shower scene or else he showered somewhere else,

[00:38:45] Yeah, whatever anyway, it's about football play next up the longest yard

[00:38:52] Which one forget Adam Sandler Chris rock version that was garbage. Can we forget them both?

[00:38:55] This was one of Burt Reynolds best films Oh, he stars as a former NFL player who was kicked out of the league for shaving points

[00:39:01] I'm thrown into prison for stealing his girlfriend's car and leading the police on a drunken chase

[00:40:03] drafted by the Baltimore Colts. So he wasn't acting is what I'm talking about.

[00:40:04] No, he actually played football.

[00:40:06] Did you know that Tom Brady who starred in

[00:40:09] that Tom Brady movie that he produced?

[00:40:11] Amy for Brady?

[00:40:13] That Tom Brady, he also played football.

[00:40:15] Yeah, he also produced the movie.

[00:40:17] In real life and played it in the movie.

[00:40:20] I was just going back to those Boston boys for you.

[00:40:22] I don't know what the hell your problem is.

[00:40:25] Next up, yes, he's played for a while.

[00:40:27] How many more of these other? Jon Favreau and my favorite Welshman, Riese Afans, or whatever he knows his name, as a degenerate gambler chain-smoking kicker. He's smoking on the field! And yes, the good guys win this one too. Play ball. What about Unnecessary Roughness starring Kathy Ireland?

[00:41:41] That one was also good.

[00:41:42] Well, why didn't you talk about it?

[00:41:43] He's got a limit!

[00:41:45] He might have scot-baculated it?

[00:41:47] Yes, I don't have 20 minutes. Well, she might play football. She doesn't play professional football that I know. Maybe she'd be the kicker, like Kathy Ireland. No. Maybe. You know what makes me rage? You two, shut the fuck up. Alright, so my rage this week comes from, again, Cineplex and the douchebag that works there.

[00:43:02] And I know he probably isn't listening to our podcast because he's a moron.

[00:43:06] I think he's related to the manager too. Loses face next time he does that because Bryce and I are gonna turn yellow at him. Swat him. You're the customer Yeah, you know, I don't remember the last time I yelled at him and the whole though Whole staff the one time and that didn't get me anywhere either So feels good. Oh quit being dicks. Yeah. Well, they'll be gone soon Yeah, all of them looking for other work. What's sad?

[00:45:23] between it and the...

[00:45:28] You don't have a cohesive sentence going on here. Okay.

[00:45:28] All our listeners have no fucking clue what you're talking about.

[00:45:30] I can't believe he's saying that.

[00:45:31] Basically when you buy premium seats,

[00:45:34] I think they're like $25 or something.

[00:45:36] Yeah.

[00:45:37] When you're part of the Cine Club,

[00:45:39] you're supposed to get a discount.

[00:45:41] Usually it's $5.

[00:45:43] The $14.99 seats are $9.99.

[00:45:46] Yep.

[00:45:47] If you're going into somethingie? Your hoodie? Yes! Your different version of metal hoodie? At any rate, I don't understand the inconsistency in that pricing and I really should be reaching out to them at some point

[00:47:01] because this is something that hasn't gone away.

[00:47:02] I have to kind of...

[00:47:03] It makes no sense.

[00:47:04] What I find with Cineplex these days is when, I think stuff like big movies, like the, the superhero movies and Christopher Nolan type films, the ones that are in IMAX and those big ones will probably still be around. Yeah, but if they can't pay for their bills, 12 months.

[00:48:22] Well, yeah.

[00:48:23] And they're going to be shutting down half the week.

[00:48:25] They're going to be only open on the weekends and Tuesdays.

[00:49:22] Rage subsiding.

[00:49:25] Plus sign.

[00:49:28] Anger feeding. Oh the lists.

[00:49:32] So for those of you first listening to us, if this is your first time,

[00:49:37] doing the rage.

[00:49:38] We're supposed to watch a movie.

[00:49:39] Yeah, I did.

[00:49:40] I did.

[00:49:41] Yeah.

[00:49:42] I just forgot.

[00:49:43] Yeah.

[00:49:44] Because we did a lot this week, but no one would know because we had a lot of IT issues by Jeff Goldblum. Okay, so here's, I'm breaking this down for you. That's right. I did, I walked back. So here's the breakdown of Mystery Man, okay? So see if you can follow me here. Okay. Okay, here's the breakdown. Okay, break it down. Jennifer Lewis takes out West Doody. Greg Kinnear takes out Kel Mitchell.

[00:51:00] Paul Rubens takes out Janine Garofalo.

[00:51:03] Tom Waits takes out Ben Stiller.

[00:51:05] Hank Azaria takes out William H. Macy. It's one that I go back to all the time because the characters are so pretty. Greg Kinnear is such a dick. I hope I don't have to watch it again. Oh, I want to watch it again. I may watch this tonight when I go home. It's not horrible, but it's... I don't know. Why don't you tell me? I've now watched it three times and that's two times too many.

[00:52:20] I don't know.

[00:52:21] Why don't you tell me?

[00:52:22] I don't even know what that's referencing.

[00:52:25] That's like Janine Garafalo through the whole movie.

[00:52:26] I don't know.

[00:52:27] Why don't know that I agree. I think Jesse has more range actually funny because they're both in Fargo. Yeah Yeah, that's right. We did have to watch Fargo. I Didn't do it. He got a cramp. I got a cramp. He's cramping. I'm way over here. I didn't touch you Yeah, uh, yes, actually I was gonna come up with a Fargo showdown

[00:53:44] We've already watched Fargo cuz we we couldn't decide that was

[00:53:46] No, most of them are gone. Anyways, yeah if either of us raged this one. So this was definitely not a rage. It was definitely not a rage. It wasn't a mondo for me. It was mad. It was mad for me also. There was some really good stuff in it. And there was some really... Camera work was a little... It was shaky. Yeah. Yeah, and I was like... Sometimes, and I believe it was intentionally shaky

[00:55:00] at some point, but it was just annoying.

[00:55:01] It got to be a little annoying,

[00:55:03] but there was enough there

[00:55:04] and there were some characters in there

[00:55:06] that I'm gonna remember forever. repulsive off because that's that's that is the biggest challenge we have all repulsive already yeah but someone's gonna be more repulsive more repulsive and then the other one gets reprieved they're no longer on the repulsive they're not as repulsive as the other person so it's basically the reverse of the mesmerize off if you can find us a repulsive off I would be super

[00:56:20] happy just putting that out there sure nice

[00:57:23] Well, that was the whole concept of the movie. So basically here's the movie.

[00:57:25] Matt has like relations with some chicken in an elevator in a girl's dorm during a power

[00:57:31] outage.

[00:57:32] That sounds good.

[00:57:33] And never sees her face because it's a power outage.

[00:57:36] She comes in like with like a laundry basket and it's like really high and so he can't

[00:57:41] see her face.

[00:57:42] Oh.

[00:57:43] And then the power goes out.

[00:57:44] And then they have an enthralling conversation for about 12 seconds and then for some reason residing in it. See, that's where the hundred girls comes in. So it's actually not as bad as you might think. Sounds terrible, but it's very, very bad. There are times in it where I'm like, this isn't so bad, but it's got some like it's trying hard a lot of the time and just not quite

[00:59:04] getting there. Like it's got his buddy James de bello is trying to make his And that's the thing about this movie is everybody was fine in it Like I had no problem with any of the writing was just kind of weak at times It wasn't too funny but at the end of the day Wasn't that bad? It wasn't a terrible it had it had it had a Giovanni Rabi see

[01:00:25] Sister in it, which I didn't know she existed

[01:01:24] I mean it's a rage. I mean there's no question. It's a rage. Thank God, but I

[01:01:28] Didn't hate it. I didn't like hate it hate it I mean I hated it, but I didn't hate it like rage or dare movie rage

[01:01:34] This is just a regular. I didn't like this movie rage well. I've

[01:01:39] Disappointed in myself yeah, you didn't make me angry. I'm gonna try harder. You need to try harder all right

[01:01:44] Well, I'm gonna pull from your delicious's what you know you village but no is the thrift store in can more but you know oh this is where you got same one is

[01:03:01] crossroads you've been saving this for a while I have you know what that's been

[01:03:04] in my bag for like a year and a half I'm gonna love this because it's got

[01:04:06] Whoa! Thanks ragers for listening! Thanks extended FilmRage family who you can find in our show notes. Thanks to Casey, the nerdy photographer, the voice of RageOdare.

[01:04:10] Find us on social media everywhere at FilmRageYYC. Check out everything at FilmRageYYC.com

[01:04:14] including our merch site for RedBubble and TeaPublic.

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[01:04:21] And send us emails to FilmRageCalgar at gmail.com. Dares to see terrible movies to fuel our rage.