If I Were President Special! (with Oreo Brewer)

[00:00:27] It's a Jacked Up Review Show It's a Jacked Up Review Show It's a Jacked Up Review Show It's a Jacked Up I don't know, but what I do know is Oreo and I today are citing...

[00:01:21] A long time coming, we just were like, hey, we love doing some just wacky takes and everything. How about we talk shit about what we would do if in a better world we were president? Mm-hmm.

[00:01:34] So we just finally decided, yeah, today's the day. We got this. We can do it. And people just automatically turn it off after hearing that shit. Right. Fuck these guys. They're not fucking presidential. They're going to do political stuff.

[00:01:57] I can't handle that, even though you're a talk show. Oh, God. So yeah, we... I had a few funny things written down. I figured you could start off the show if you want. I only had two things on. That really takes it.

[00:02:18] Making the I Want To Hit Number One. Well, then other stuff will pop up as we go. First thing... How appropriate in the Oval Office. Definitely. Yeah, we're going back to misogyny 90s style. That's what I got to do a review on American Crime Story impeachment. Shit. Wow.

[00:02:47] I know. I loved that. That was a good season. Season three on Lewinsky, I think? Yep. I only saw the first part. I was like, Clive Owen. Wow. Yeah, he did good as Bill. I was fucking shocked. I was like, damn, he does a good Bill Clinton.

[00:03:07] I like that logic. The whole, hey, it's a blowjob. Doesn't count as cheating. True. If I was president, the first thing... Oreo was fucking president. First thing I would... No. The first thing I'd do would be cut off all ties with every country

[00:03:35] and pull out of the UN and close all the borders and everything and focus on fixing the fucking country like we're supposed to do. Instead of the whole, we're going to pull out. We're going to pull out. It's so dumb.

[00:04:00] It's not that hard to fix the fucking country. And if I got the motherfucker fixed within the first term or it would take all two terms to do it or more, I would ask the Swiss banks to forgive our national debt.

[00:04:25] I've got a similar one. I like this. As an incentive. If we can get our shit turned around and act like fucking Americans and shit... I know, right? Here's some red niggas. I'll take away my gun. I need my fucking gun.

[00:04:49] I got plenty of heated ones in that. Oh, I got a good one for guns. I really have a good one for guns. Yeah, the best one for guns is... It's so fucking simple and nobody's ever thought of it. Or they anchored around with the idea

[00:05:05] that they'll never follow through because it's too much money. If the government was smart, they would make an offer to anyone who owns a firearm and ammo and their gun license and offer to pay them for what they have, the value of it,

[00:05:29] and completely pay their license off and give them the total cash value of everything they own firearm wise. And it's all with the disclosure form of you can never have a firearm yet. But if you don't like that, you can easily go for an alternative route.

[00:05:51] And you read the terms they use. Yes, for real. Not B-B, South Park. That's awesome. I like that. I do wish they would read that up front. By the way, if you fucking cap someone, you're going to jail. Oh no, not even that.

[00:06:09] If you buy a gun again, you get kicked out of the country. There you go. Or if you don't like the idea of trading in your firearms and stuff for a lump sum of money, you can leave the country and we'll pay for it.

[00:06:28] Man, I mean, it's so fucking simple. It would solve the entire problem of gun violence in Baltimore for one. And this goes for drugs too. Like you can trade in all your guns, your drugs, all your weapons that you have if you want to. Drugs? What are drugs?

[00:06:52] You have all that money sitting in front of you. You have the drugs, you have the ammo. You've got the money, you've got the power. Yeah, for real. I do dig it. I'm just doing a Scarface impression.

[00:07:08] You would think you could make even more just turning it in as opposed to I must cherish it. I must hold on to it. Someone's going to want to take it from me anyway. But I feel like everyone just feels like they're being taunted.

[00:07:22] It's like, well, you kind of have unofficially taunted them. That's for real. Come and take it. That's a time. Tried from a dead cold fingers. Oh, let's live here, dude. And we don't respect what America is doing. But like with the amount of just arguments over stupid stuff

[00:07:48] like the Pledge of Allegiance and everything, it's like, well, they technically weren't born here and they disagree with the politics, so they're making a stand. I mean, I see so many people get warped up on just so many things.

[00:07:58] The whole just you never do this, my mom, my dad, it told me. It's like, well, your mom or daddy's dead. What do you actually think? I know, right? And don't bullshit me. Don't give me a chicken shit answer. Give me a legit why do you think that?

[00:08:15] I actually got yelled at for sitting during the pledge back in elementary school because I didn't know. I'm like, why the fuck am I saying the Pledge of Allegiance? I don't even care for it. And this is back in elementary school. I didn't care for it at all.

[00:08:30] I was like, why should I? And the teacher actually yanked me out of the chair to make me stand. Technically they can't do that, actually. Yeah, for real. I'm like, no, you're not touching me. I actually pulled away.

[00:08:46] It's like you're going to the principal's office and I end up going to the principal's office. Stays. I mean, I would. The few times I went to the principal's office, I was literally just walking in the door.

[00:09:02] And that fucking kind of a teacher just said, hey, no, you got to go. You said the. Oh my God. Yeah. That's my favorite word. Unlicensed. It was your favorite contest. Oh, my God. Oh, that's great. The show was going to be PG.

[00:09:30] What are you fucking talking about? We're never PG on here. That's too hard to do. It's like. It's not worth it. I don't know. This fucking show is explicit because I don't I don't like being labeled. How about them apples word?

[00:09:48] I see movies and shows that are get have ratings and it's like they clearly didn't even watch the program. That is not PG. That is not our literally when I was watching Blade series of sprites. And I've got it. The first. Yeah, God damn.

[00:10:03] I'm like you can say that on cable. I guess they're OK with what? Yeah, whatever. Yeah, because I got the unrated version of it. I was like, oh, yeah. I was like, damn, this is good. And on spike, it was TV 14. I'm like, are you shitting me?

[00:10:20] Like, really? Like, there's a lot of stuff. I can't even imagine watching it on TV. It just would have sucked. It would have been boring. They would have cut out the good parts. Yeah, they even cut out a rate. Right.

[00:10:37] And yet that's TV 14, even though you're implying that someone's becoming a vampire or have sex with someone. I'm like, yeah, totally what teams I guess should be watching not saying they can't. Some of them can handle plenty of stuff just fine. But this is weird. Your turn.

[00:10:55] Yes, it is my turn. I'm going to make it illegal to outlaw any kind of porn of any kind. You fucking congressman know you like it. So stop having this conversation. Are you sure about that? Yep. Even kiddie porn? Well, we'll outlaw kid porn, but you can't...

[00:11:16] The whole... Yeah, so that is a good point. I'm glad Mr. Reporter, you called me on my book. We will make it illegal to outlaw porn unless it involves kid or abuse of some kind. Boom. I got some other shit. I'm going to... I can't believe this.

[00:11:40] I'm going to make college free. Hey, that works. I'm just going to fucking take all the deans and beat them the fuck up. There you go. I'm going to blackmail every politician and say start doing your job or I'm going to show these photos to your wife.

[00:11:57] Oh, my. Make them freak the fuck out even if they haven't done anything. They're like, oh, what do they know? That's like when I've been watching different clips about Vince McMahon's scandal and shit. I know. He should have been a politician.

[00:12:10] He had so much fucking power just working with Trump and everybody. He has the workings of it too. Just look at that 1999 Conan interview and he is just proud to be on there. He's like, hey, look at me.

[00:12:25] There's like different wrestlers have been alluding to other stories about others behind the scenes that I'm like, wow, I wonder what else people have done. Yeah, they are. The one that really caught my attention was John Cena. And this is from Rene Dupree actually on his podcast.

[00:12:46] He said there's a story about John's... Something John did that would jeopardize his spot in Hollywood. I'm like, what the fuck did John do that would jeopardize... That's what he did? That's called loyalty. If it's something that jeopardizes his career, it's either the extreme, it's either murder or...

[00:13:10] Is that why he keeps working for the community? The psych guy said he was pretty nice. I can't imagine. I don't know. It's either murder, rape, pedophilia or he beat his ex-wife. I don't know. Everybody's really nice at first but that's amassed.

[00:13:38] And then when you really get to know them it's like... He also doesn't police them when they do something fucked up. He's covered for all of those shady guys before. Yeah, it's shitty. So yeah, I would require coaches to have background checks if that's the case. Definitely.

[00:13:58] I would train. I'd hire a personal trainer so I could beat every governor in a boxing match at the end of the year. Nice. I'm taking that from that Yuval, that shitty video game filmmaker who would literally beat up his critics in person. Oh Jesus.

[00:14:14] I think he's a piece of shit, especially when he told his fans to fuck off. They're the ones watching your awful no-budget movies and you got off. You didn't even go to film school. You just had German tax cuts. To be fair, those critics were warned.

[00:14:27] He's there to beat your ass. Shame on you for not watching every Rocky movie prepping. You'll love this. I would require all churches to pay taxes like everybody else. God damn right. I would abolish religion completely. You can do that. You know what?

[00:14:47] I will second that and I'll give a national order to defund the police. I'm going to give a national order to require Facebook to not allow any misinformation videos. I would ban social media for a decade. You know what? Fine. Let's fucking do that.

[00:15:07] We'll actually gain our brain cells back. For real. I have seen so... Twitter is literally... You can go... You'll find less civilized shit on Discord. People will just pop in and then they'll fuck off. They'll leave. Twitter is still in COVID mode. Let's go back to message boards.

[00:15:32] Just like the old days. Let's go back to messenger and shit. I'm just AOL and AIM and Yahoo and MSN. I want my sex gifts back. There you go, baby. You stupid motherfuckers. I just want to do a deficit. Like just national order. Just say...

[00:15:52] Just have emergency funds. Just use the best of the presidential override. I would also arrest everyone on Wall Street. And make it impossible for them to transfer money to Washington. By sending... And seize all their game and island accounts. There you go. All those Epstein connections.

[00:16:14] I would send a covert ops NSA team for that. And just be like, hey, pose as Wall Street bidders. And... I would also put the NRA. National Rifle Association on trial. It'd be great for reality TV. They could get in on the action.

[00:16:33] And I would just show them for who they are. And be like, hey. NRA versus the United States. Go. I would just go to the NRA. And I would just go to the NRA. And I would just go to the NRA. NRA versus the United States. Go.

[00:16:53] I would... Oh, god. No, I just... I lost my thought. Damn. It was so good, too. Oh, I would sign an executive order. To make learning channel and history channel actually about learning and history again. No more reality shows. Yes. They were so amazing.

[00:17:21] Dude, I learned so much just watching modern Marvels all day. I almost could have been a gear head. Like... Yeah, I miss that shit. Like it was nice and... Dynasty and all this other stage shit. Like here is Billy the Kid's so-called stock rifle.

[00:17:37] That's not Billy the Kid's stock rifle. That's a fucker who told you a big ass story. I remember A&E used to be good, too. Right? Now it's... Well, they're co-owned by Disney. Now it's just reruns of... Yeah, Pawn Stars and Criminal Minds and the first 48. It's like...

[00:17:57] Storage Wars bullshit. Storage Wars. God. I used to like that and then I found out it was all stage and I was like fuck this shit. I could have told you that, dude. Dude, I was on Cheaters for a reason. Every reality show is stage for a reason.

[00:18:11] And when people say they're bad actors, it's like yeah, because they're real. And they're not good actors so they... My favorite episode of Cheaters. There's two of them. One is the babysitter.

[00:18:21] The guy who's wearing glasses and he gets called with a 16 year old in the van and the parking lot. Oh, Jesus. I was like wow. I wonder if she was 15. They should have done a crossover without a catch-up predator. Oh no. I don't know. I don't know.

[00:18:37] I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And then the second one was a black dude with a girl on the balcony. And his excuse... This is the best excuse ever. Is that the one where the... Where... What's his name?

[00:18:57] The main guy got stabbed. No, it wasn't that one. No, it wasn't. It was Joey. This guy's excuse was for being called. Was they... The carbon oxide was in the apartment and he was out on the balcony giving her mouth the mouth.

[00:19:11] The carbon oxide was in the apartment and he was out on the balcony giving her mouth the mouth. Oh my word. Oh my word. Holy spade of spade. Holy spade of spade. I know, right? Really, dude? Crazy shit. Crazy shit. Wow. Yeah.

[00:19:33] But the funniest one was the blow-up doll. That shit had me in stitches for a good 15 minutes. The blow-up doll. I've seen this fan from that once in a while. I've never been to one of those. Nor do I want to have a relationship with one of those.

[00:19:45] I know. I'm good. I'm good. Between us, I do have a pic of one of my friends with the blow-up doll. I do have a pic of one of my friends with the blow-up doll. That was funny. Oh, that is funny. It's sexy but funny. I mean...

[00:20:05] You gotta do what you gotta do. Nah. I'm just kidding. I don't know. A hole is a hole. Imagine making out... A spade is a spade hole. Imagine making out a fucking law across the fucking country. A hole is a hole. It's a fucking Westworld, man.

[00:20:27] Dude, Altered Carbon, episode 9, freaked me the fuck out. Did it? Yes, because the girl cuts herself and she's like, You can put it anywhere. I'm like, No, no, no. I forgot about that. I'm like, no, no. I'm gonna make all of sex work legal. There you go.

[00:20:51] With multiple background checks and... There you go. Testing every... You have to be repped by an escort company. If you're not in Union... No. Why not Union on us? Exactly. It's like... We're not gonna have any more of this I'd rather be screwed than get fucked.

[00:21:15] I'd rather be screwed than get fucked. And get tested every two weeks. Bingo. Just like porn stars. Having crossover for that, and allow them to just do more of what they want to do. Do more of what they want to do.

[00:21:31] If you want to be an actual actor and everything. I would fix the school system now. You know, we absolutely need to... That's why I said, require your sex ed to be taught. You can't not teach something You can't not teach something just because you don't like it.

[00:21:53] For real, like, I owned that. Sex ed back then was... and even today is still fucking stupid as hell. You only get... I am in middle school, all I got was surface shit. So if you're looking for a show that's safe for the family,

[00:22:32] but funny enough to help you escape everyday life then listen to the Florida Men on Florida Man Podcast. That's Florida Men, plural, on Florida Man Podcast. The Jacked Up Review Show Podcast is honored to be part of the Blind Knowledge Podcast Network.

[00:23:02] Join anytime, talk the talk, and enjoy yourselves. There's something enlightening for everyone with this crowd of cool cats. Check them out. And I'm not kidding, it was horrible. It was horrible. I'm not kidding. It was horrible. It was horrible. It was horrible. It was horrible. I'm not kidding.

[00:23:37] It was horrible. All they did was talk about how your bodies are different, they showed a diagram of different bodies. I'm not serious. Isn't it wild how they'll always ask up front anyone got any questions? They're not going to ask it in front of class.

[00:23:55] They're not going to ask it in front of class. I know, for real. They're afraid of being judged. I had that in middle school. There was one of the headsets, and everyone looked at me. And I'm like, cool. And then in high school,

[00:24:13] I was, this really bugged the hell out of me forever. I was, this really bugged the hell out of me forever. They separated the guys and girls. They separated the guys and girls. And the guys had their assembly, and then the girls had theirs.

[00:24:25] And when the girls came out, they had bags with them. And I'm watching all these girls come out and they're like, I'm going to go to the auditorium with bags. Why didn't we get bags? I want a bag. I even asked one of my friends that came out.

[00:24:41] Not to beg on you, but... I'm like, what's in the bag? And she's like, it's not for you. I'm like, what is it? I want to know. Why didn't we get one? She's like, you're not a girl. I'm like, the hell is that supposed to mean?

[00:24:57] What's in the bag? I mean, what's the point of growing up till now? And why they've had failed relationships and shit? And don't know shit about female anatomy? If you want them to stop asking, maybe teach them. For real. I mean, I do this with other people too.

[00:25:21] Like when they are just refusing to make it easier, If you want me to stop calling you with these stupid questions, maybe I don't know address it. For real. Maybe I can leave you a note but oh you don't want to take the note you'd rather just give

[00:25:41] me the stare down so I leave. I mean how hard is it to teach a full-blown course? Yeah it's gonna be funny at first but at the same time at least you're learning something versus going blindly into a relationship that evolves into a healthy sexual encounter.

[00:26:07] Yeah that's the whole fucking point but if you go into that and you're like I don't know what the hell I'm doing and then you're just like going through the motions and shit and whoever you're with is like that's not gonna work.

[00:26:21] That's not working and yeah it doesn't. No it doesn't get that disconnection. I don't like this anymore and I finally and women will appreciate this who listen, I finally get the mental threat for sex on the women's side. Holy shit.

[00:26:38] Well it would be good to know for all sides because I do feel yeah. I think many guys that's where the toxicity comes from. They think you're ready and like they're not ready. And if they don't like you guess what dude it's called soul.

[00:26:56] It's like it's so it's so taxing because it's like it's so sad it's like one you know you have your work day and then you come in and it's like ah I'm ready. And then one woman's like

[00:27:17] how long is he gonna be? What position are we going for? Can he be a quick one or does he want to drag this shit out and do it dumbass? And then on the guy's side of it it's especially if it's a first time relationship

[00:27:33] and shit it's like oh god do I get rough with her? Do I be gentle with her? Do I be sensitive? Do I have to you know button all that shit down and just be the

[00:27:45] buff alpha male that everybody's saying I need to be? You know do I get condoms? Do I need lube? Can we do something fun? Can I ramp a car off her ass like in the memes?

[00:27:57] Oh god it's like there's so many questions. It's so much mental prep, mental questions, verbal questions and getting so much done and it's like oh but at a time you get to the fucking act itself it's like I really don't want to do it.

[00:28:25] But yeah sex ed should start in middle school at least at 10 and then work your way up to the deeper shit in high school and even through college because shit there's so much to learn.

[00:28:42] It really is. That's why I made a whole bunch of sex and dating vids. It really would. I think a lot of people get pressured into dating and everything. I would often ignore people in high school growing up just because I was just like okay you really

[00:29:03] you guys just don't seem to care. Like they're just playing me and pressure me to go to the prom and I don't dance why would I want to go to the fucking prom? That's a fucking prom.

[00:29:16] That is the problem. I would make jobs mandatory in high school as well. I mean you have job training and shit when you're a junior and senior. Have internships at school

[00:29:31] just say yeah you gotta work at the school or you gotta find some other place and you gotta show proof that if you're working for your parents you gotta show proof that you're working at

[00:29:40] whatever restaurant or lawn mowing business they got cooking. I forget what country it is but they actually paid their students to work probably in Japan. I don't know no what in

[00:29:52] Japan I think it was um I want to say Sweden or Iceland. Sweden makes sense they got free college so they're all about the make the society work instead of just letting it build up. These kids were getting paid 15 and 16 an hour I'm like damn.

[00:30:10] And it wouldn't hurt I mean to have people actually just get up and say hey enough's enough I need to I need to make it happen I need to be employed instead of just waiting around for it to happen. It's yeah definitely.

[00:30:32] I mean I secretly now wish I had been working somewhere. I think I would have had the mentality even you know even to just be at a be in the library I would have been in heaven to just

[00:30:46] help out. So I actually applied for a trustees position at my library and didn't get it damn because it was so fucking easy. It was three damn things and I'm like I can do that

[00:31:00] that's simple shit. I know my library inside and out and I didn't get it. It's like all right who am I even putting the notes? So like yeah you're gonna pick somebody who's more qualified

[00:31:11] anyway. Qualified what does that mean? I know like that's so dumb like if you if there's somebody who knows something inside and out and they've been around it for over a decade and they know it by heart they are by law more qualified than somebody who spent time

[00:31:37] in the fucking room working for a piece of paper to say look at me I have a degree. Yeah no kidding. I don't get it either. I think it would make such a difference especially now. Yeah I mean hell that would get rid of the government

[00:32:00] because that shit it's so dumb sometimes. We just got too many systematic issues but the problem is we hire clowns who aren't going to mess with it because it's either they either think it's too much work or they just don't want to

[00:32:16] you don't want to do anything and it's like well we're not paying you to not do anything. Or they just don't really care at all and it's just like yeah somebody else will take care of

[00:32:27] it. Yeah and that should not be the case. I know I would disqualify all the bend from joining the elections and push more women to be in the elections. Oh don't they?

[00:32:43] And yeah. Make it clear. Because when we go back in history and there's plenty of women who have applied for president of the United States and didn't get it because they were a woman. And here's some even strength I was actually secretly rooting for Haley to win

[00:33:05] and then she dropped out. I'm like mother fucker. So close you could have done it. Oh that's where we're at now dude. We're rooting for the one who's like a bigger bully to kick

[00:33:17] the other bullies out or the other ones to just fuck around with it. I mean that's kind of how Trump tricked a lot of people into running is like hey he's gonna fuck up the

[00:33:26] system like the other guys. I'm like no he's just gonna fuck everyone up. Yeah. Including himself. He's a bad time traveler. No I really love that analogy too because somebody pointed that no Patton Oswalt pointed it out because he would literally, no Jimmy Campbell it was

[00:33:50] Jimmy Campbell. He pointed out every time Trump did something stupid in office he had a tweet that went against it and I'm like damn. It is the way to go because he keeps just, he was trolling him and he's like okay you're calling me untalented. I can show

[00:34:09] how you have no talent. But don't bother telling that to any of his fans because unfortunately he's validating those other losers. He's like what is a loser? I mean I'm living with my parents. I guess that makes me a loser but whatever. I'm alive and I'm working,

[00:34:30] I'm helping out, I'm doing side gigs, I'm whatever. But yeah if college is free oh man we're gonna really, if I just sign in an office like I guarantee you everybody's gonna say now you gotta actually give a fuck about teaching. You're in it to win it

[00:34:51] and if you don't go to college you're fucking full because there's no, if it's free I mean it's like a free hand job. It's not, why would you turn that down? Why would you

[00:35:02] it's free brownies. Why would you turn that down? Brownies I wouldn't turn down. Hand job I would. All right. Some people don't know how to do it correctly. Oh god dude. Now we got

[00:35:16] the X-ray. Yeah one girl I was with when I was 20 did not know how to do it. She yanked and I'm like no you don't do that. Oh Jesus. And she made that face, that excited face.

[00:35:33] She's like ew. I'm like no not yay. Bad. That hurt. She's like you're going soft. I'm like yeah because you yanked it you dumb ass. Wow. Oh god. Like no no yank. No bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Get in the corner.

[00:36:02] I love how we're talking about equality and then we're done. Get in the corner. We're all about equality here. I will go to my corner. No you sit there and think about how you treated that poor girl like I didn't treat her bad she hurt my dick.

[00:36:21] I demand restitution. There we go. Like save the court's time like we got to see if someone is in their right mind when they make a claim. It was like are you really assuming the government or are you just trolling for TikTok followers?

[00:36:45] Mm-hmm I hope TikTok it's banned. And judges you like you cannot like after 20 years you got to get the fuck out of there. None of these fuckers have been up there for 60 years you're not in your right.

[00:37:03] Those geezers are not in their right mind. Now I give a fuck. I would cut it down to 10. That way you get fresh people in every 10 years. I like it. I like it. I like it.

[00:37:18] I would miss what else would I do? I would definitely and this would piss a lot of people off. I would get rid of all the nuclear armaments and throw them at the sun. And if we go to war we have to use water guns.

[00:37:35] Yeah and nerf guns. Water and nerf. You know what there you go nerf gun. Then everyone will sign out they're like hey it's just paintball. Yeah that's it. There you go paintball is allowed no actual guns.

[00:37:53] If you are found with a gun you will be arrested and prosecuted to the highest extent of the law and the UN if you guys actually want to do something you'll work with the NSA and

[00:38:02] disarm every nuclear bomb including ones that we have here in the states. Boom! No one will know what hit them. And if people don't like how my administration has run from day one I would enact the global adoption agency which would be letting everybody

[00:38:22] who doesn't want to be here go to whatever country they want all expenses paid but you can't come back. There you go. You don't like it? Get the fuck out. And everybody would get deep background checks done by dark web associates.

[00:38:42] And shit yeah I would be hiring dark web people to do this shit too. You know I'd hire hackers for just about anything. Yeah because you get more results out of a fucking hacker than you would out of.

[00:38:57] I mean that's why I want to take down wall street so then the banks can't fuck around or trying to make a hustle trying to make a quick sell. Bad Movies Rule had a hysterical thing on their Patreon where they were talking about how

[00:39:08] their managers at the bank they all used to work out was asking them to make certain sales and they're like it's technically illegal. You're getting someone to abide by a contract they don't know the full terms.

[00:39:18] We could be sued we can lose our jobs we're not doing that. It's like being a realtor but I don't know making a false claim on the house you've just sold. That's like Ted DiBiase's son got busted for embezzlement.

[00:39:32] When you told me that about that it was like see I thought he was just I didn't know you had a big family or anything so wrestlers do have I mean also there you go wrestlers should have insurance no doubt about it.

[00:39:47] Oh definitely any physical universal health care and universal health care yes. You're going to break your bones even if it's all staged yeah I do not care you have to be a voice.

[00:40:01] Word like it's so crazy it's like I don't know why it's so difficult just to adapt. Like shit my girl in New Zealand she has universal health care and it cuts into a

[00:40:19] third of her check and that's not bad and I know how much she makes and it's really not that bad it's really not and I don't know why we can't just have that like it's so

[00:40:35] fucking simple it's a third of your check it's a third of what you make in a year and that goes towards the health care. That's it it's nothing else nothing more you're completely covered your medications

[00:40:53] are covered you don't have to pay outrageous fucking bills anymore you don't have if you're pregnant. Thank you it should be illegal for that like there should be an installment plan on everything so then you will save yourself time you will not I mean my family owns a

[00:41:11] few different houses it's a pain in the ass to have to hunt down everybody who is behind on payments and then when they flake where does that money come from? I don't know

[00:41:25] like if you're pregnant you don't have you won't ever have to pay 40 dollars to hold your newborn kid again there you go right you won't have to hire a babysitter at that point really

[00:41:38] well I mean if you're having a bad marriage if you got a bad marriage yet you're gonna need it for your husband's man. Why am I not attractive? Get a babysitter will fix everything.

[00:41:54] Right isn't it funny how guys are like women take care of it but then when they gotta take care of a kid and they're whining more than the actual baby. It is kind of funny though.

[00:42:06] uh but yeah baby you big baby um let's see here hey how are you you can't do that that's un-congressional I'm an American. What time of American are you? uh nope no uh political

[00:42:27] propaganda. No for real. Here's a good law day one minute one I'll sign into law full nationwide ancestry.com results for everybody there you go you can't deny that there you go you'll be out of a fucking job they're like we don't have any dirt on anybody

[00:42:52] everyone knows all that shit everybody knows how black they are now we knew he was a confederate general's ancestor yeah yeah I still need to find a confederate flag sticker damn it's my favorite flag I love that flag immensely because of Duke's hazard. I do I love that

[00:43:19] fucking flag it's my favorite one out of every flag that's around I like that one the most because I grew up with it. It does have good colors but no you're a racist I'm like you know

[00:43:32] I hate NASCAR god damn it. You know what I got another one I got another one make it to where I don't know how I would phrase this um if you're gonna talk flags

[00:43:50] you can burn a flag if you can recite the alphabet backwards drunk there you go and if you can't then you gotta go to jail for that yeah I don't know if uh don't allow prisons to be corporations actually have actual qualified people have

[00:44:11] security cameras everywhere to where we can rat out any of the prison guards or wardens who aren't doing their fucking job and I mean the whole idea of a prison isn't to throw you away

[00:44:23] it is to take you out of society and build you back up to where you can be socially acceptable again and to just fling you away get you tossed around shanked and fucked away that doesn't rape yeah assault yeah soap dropping yeah it doesn't why are we doing

[00:44:41] this I don't know the worst story I have in this one gave me a fucking anxiety attack weeks ago because I remembered it and I and I hate that I remembered it because it was so graphic

[00:44:55] um I think it was in Mexico a guy was locked up in prison for raping or molesting a girl little girl and he got gang raped for it and oh no that gets worse it's 24 to 48 hours later

[00:45:18] after he got stitches put in they gang raped him again ripping stitches out I can't help yeah I'm like that or that fucked me up there you go and and they're all overcrowded

[00:45:32] it was like make them big enough plan for it don't put first time offenders in the same one as the multi you know serial killers the caught spies the you know the rapists the bombers them

[00:45:49] yeah why would you put them in the same one as a guy who just mugged or got in a fight after school or just robbed a liquor store after work in this yeah weed can no longer be

[00:46:04] an offense to be charged for there you go all drugs are officially legal you want the uh oh okay I'm gonna work on well we'll modify that but it'll all have to be controlled to a certain extent but like

[00:46:21] weed is why are we having this with pot and everything is what well that it's a racial thing they don't want any of those guys profiting and they do everything those guys

[00:46:31] what are those guys yeah they know that but I it's interesting how they just play that up and it's like yeah well we can't recreate it yes you can we we can't tax it yes you can

[00:46:47] yeah true well then some of those bad guys will be uh you know legit and you could say the same about some of the nra gun store owners and some of the other guys who are just

[00:46:59] criminals with enough legal protection as long as I don't really give a fuck about their history as long as they don't do anything bad now I mean we have a syntax for fuck's

[00:47:11] sakes on actual cigarettes and that's okay so hmm nice here's a really here's a good one um no this is real this is really good for jobs um not only are you guaranteed health care for the first year you're also guaranteed housing as well within that year

[00:47:38] because I look at wal-mart wal-mart is a prime example or should like their incentive to hire somebody is paramount plus on us I'm like yeah don't well and that's for 15 an hour 15 an hour plus paramount plus I don't want paramount plus

[00:48:06] I can watch whatever the hell I want on another site I don't give a fuck about paramount plus oh like I would rather you be like hey you want to work for me I'm like yeah that sounds good

[00:48:21] what's a good incentive to make you want to work for us well I would like to have health care I would like to have my own apartment that's paid for by you for a full year until I can afford it myself that would be nice with utilities included

[00:48:42] like fuck it I looked at all these areas it's still fucked up they make more for everyone they make more for real like if you look if you look at your map of where wal-mart is in your area

[00:48:56] guaranteed there's probably an apartment complex a couple miles away that's either abandoned or there's a piece of land that's prime for making an apartment complex I don't know why bingo bingo fucking easy you had and guaranteed around that there's a home depot there's a low

[00:49:18] right there's your fucking workforce tools that you need all you have to do is get the construction company and get the blueprints drawn up get the land approved by the book make half of these companies that are buying used shit on the lot like make them

[00:49:36] literally do their homework is like you know someone's in this house versus I think someone's in that house I hate having to do this and they always want to make it oh don't get police involved it's like yeah we're getting police involved we're not on

[00:49:49] background checks well and don't just let anybody in there make the damn code expire after they use it instead like 24 7 you can't use it unless you got the current password true don't got it you can't get in make them have to work just to break it and

[00:50:15] it's just it's wild to me like I thought I told that I brought it up to my sister she's like yeah I would work I would want to work harder at wal-mart if I had my own place

[00:50:25] provided by them and healthcare I'm like yeah so what happened I have heard horror stories I knew someone who saw that someone uh who used to that's like they used to work at target and

[00:50:43] it's like they had pretty much done all kinds of shady stuff just to get a promotion but they were pretty much just refusing to even do their management job like managers should

[00:50:53] have to take a test once in a while definitely and piss testing should be done every other day you know why not no I mean seriously like they do what like once a month or something

[00:51:13] or once once every couple weeks like you should be doing that every other day like I saw uh I was watching I found a clip of Gordon Ramsay doing uh a run through of one of

[00:51:29] his restaurants and he was cleaning he was in the bathroom he's like I'm gonna test the foreign test cocaine and pull it I'm like okay and he goes and I'm like okay this is

[00:51:42] interesting and I'm watching he's spraying it and blue is coming up on the napkin for coke coke I'm like wow and he showed the manager he's like this is within today this is recent

[00:51:56] this is within an hour but holy shit you gotta do coke to work at that restaurant damn how did that fly under the helmet doesn't matter we just legalize certain drugs so I don't know

[00:52:10] all right coke's legal I mean imagine imagine that just make all drugs legal and then within like the first 24 hours we're one of us is responsible for a fucked over fucked on that

[00:52:24] overdose death and we can't be prosecuted because it was of their own we will we didn't profit off their death that's true I plead presidential immunity on that uh do you even need it when you scummy son of a bitch you killed my daughter

[00:52:50] Jesus oh that about wraps it up follow us on the web on Facebook Twitter and Instagram the podcast is available on podbean spotify iHeartRadio anchor apple and anywhere else podcasts are available

[00:53:17] feel free to review our show and leave comments on any of those sites thanks a million for listening